The Sun.
London, England, 1848-10-12 00:00:00

ADVERTISING FOR A WIFE.

An advertisement having appeared in one of the
London journals, a week or two ago, for a wife pos-
sessed of 5001., it was answered by a wag, stating
he had three daughters, fine girls, from twenty to
twenty-six years of age ; that the advertiser might
have an interview for the purpose of selection; and
that if his appearance and character were found to
be satisfactory, 1,0001. would be of no consequence.
An appointment was made for him to inquire at the
bar of a tavern in the City, at eight o'clock on Fri-
day evening last, for "Beta." The evening came—
and, true as " Salisbury clock," so came our man of
mettle, dressed as neat as neat could be, and
" As fresh as a bridegroom,
His chin new reap'd, showed like stubble land,
at harvest heme ;"
his curly locks redolent of our friend Rowland's
Macassar, his whiskers delicately curled, his sbirt
front studded with some bright sparkling substunce,
while itself, in point of virgin whiteness, would
shame a " hound's tooth ;" his coat was of the very
newest cut of fashion, his hat was a perfect gem,
when he entered the house (we cannot say so much
for it when he left)—and his general appear-
ance was that of a young man of twenty-five,
rather inclined to be " swellish''—he was met by
a witty friend, who opened the proceeding:
by a private interview in the bar parlour ; while
another went in search of a " fair frail one " to parr..
Donate the bride in perspective, and who was to
assume the name of Jane Brown—her papa laeiag
obliged to leave town that morning; and certAinly a
better actress could not be found, with her " kiss-me-
quick" bonnet and white veil. Jane was introduced
to our money-hunting advertiser; his eye quickly
surveyed her as she sat in a retired part of the
room, purposely darkened to aid the bashful
modesty of Jane; be fairly chuckled with
delight as he gallantly handed her papa's letter
for recognition. To the question, "Is that your
papa's writing ?" Jane gave a bashful nod
of consent. The young man who played the
part of Jane's cousin, and he who was the friend
of the family, with genuine Irish wit described his
respect for his old friend Brown, and the handful
Jane's mother had with her in the measles, poor
dear woman ! Our hero now drew forth a large
bundle of letters, and said he bad been all
day going from place to place to answer them.
He gave the, address of his uncle, J— K----,
Esq., Bedfordshire. It was at length settled that
the next, meeting (with Mr. Brown, the father, pre-
sent) should take place yesterday (Monday), at one
precisely. Things seemed going on capitally till
the waiter hinted the reckoning was 9s. 6d for
sundry glasses of " cold without," port negus,
and cigars. The cousin and friends of the family of
course could not be expected to " tip," and our
"yokel " was minus tin. The gas being about to be
snuffed out, he came to the bar, where as jolly a
lot had assembled as "ever set the table in a
roar." One offered his sister, another actually
wished his mother so good-looking a husband, while
June was escorted to the corner of the next street,
having first been amply repaid for her part in the
Lughable plot. Our hero now began to "smell a rat,"
but he was so hemmed in he could not escape.
While the waiter was requesting of him the score
another was charring a couple of corks, and
in less than no time a change came o'er the spirit of
his dream ; he came a perfect Adonis, and left a per-
fect Juba ; and no doubt, when his head is done
aching, he will repent of his ridiculous folly, and en-
deavour to realize a fortune by some other means than
advertising for a wife.

SEIZURE OF WHISKY.—On Saturday a gentleman,
apparently of the first respectability, was victimised by
the absurd existing laws respecting the transmission of
whisky across the borders, and by these laws mulcted of
a 251. fine. The gentleman was a passenger from Scot-
land by the North British Railway, and as the luggage
of the train he came here by was being overhauled by
the exciseman, a hamper was discovered containing
bottles. On the owner of the hamper being inquired
for, the gentleman came promptly forward and said it
was his property, and that the bottles contained whisky.
Upon this information the package was seized, and the
gentleman himself taken into custody. He professed
himself perfectly ignorant of the existence of the law he
had violated, and we believe his assertion. He accom-
panied the exciseman to the house of a magistrate, and
there, having had the law explained to him, he submitted
to the fine, and gave a eh( que upon his banker for the
amount, whereupon he was liberated and allowed to pro-
ceed upon his journey.— Berwick Advertiser.
AMERICAN PROVISIONS.—The American line-of-
packet ship Westminster, arrived in the docks from
New York, has brought the large quantity of 3,107
boxes of cheese, 31 hogsheads and barrels and 1,160
kegs of lard, 728 bushels of corn, 80,179 oil cakes, and
75 tierces 25 hogsheads and 400 barrels of oil cake
for cattle, 24,000 staves for coopering purposes, and
various other productions; the packet-ship Waterloo,
from New York, 16,981 bushels of Indian corn, 139
barrels and 53 bags of beans, and 1,167 barrels of
flour; the Patrick Henry, also from New York, 373
barrels of flour, 2,318 quarters and 116 bags of In-
dian corn, 345 packages of lard, 400 boxes of cheese,
and various other articles; the Devonport, from New
Orleans, 782 barrels of pork and 3,355 sacks of Indian
corn; and the Margaret, from New Orleans, 3,182
sacks of corn, 113 tierces of beef, and 50 barrels of
pork, all the produce of the United States.
CHECKMATING A SCANDAL-HUNTER:" Of course,
G. and his newly-married wife live happily together ?"
asked en inquisitive lady of a wag. The gentleman gave
a significant turn to his countenance, but said nothing.
" La, you don't mean that?" pursued his interrogator.
The wag gave another look of direful import, and Badly
shook his head. " You don't mean to say that they
quarrel?" " Worse than that ma'am," said the:wag, forithe
first time using his tongue. " What 1 does he beat her?"
"Oh ! far worse, she—she beats him." " Ohl my gra-
cious," said the lady, starting back, " beats him! Well,
I never." She was about to dart off with the news to a
select circle of tabbies, when the wag called her back.
and, assuming a mock heroic tone, added, " Yes, ma'am,
she beats him—but it is at chess!"
PREFERMENTS.—The Rev. John Cartwright, M.A.,
Precentor of Durham Cathedral, to the perpetual cu-
racy of :Witton Gilbert. The Rev. Henry Richard
Ridley, curate of Felton, Northumberland, to the per-
petual curacy of Rennington, near Alnwick, in the same
county.
CURIOUS PARC/1111'AL FACTS.—ST. MIRY, NEW..
INGTON.—Tho annual statement of accounts for the year
ending March 31, 1848, has just been distributed
amongst the rate-payers of this extensive parish, and a
most astounding document it is, and an instructive one
withal. St. Mary's, Newington, has its own local
Act, and is as yet untouched by the Poor-law Com-
mission. During the year the rates were on the rental
4s. 3d. in the pound, that is, 21f per cent. ; and it is,
we hear, at a rate higher still since that periad, namely,
14d. on the quarter, that is to say, an annual average
of 23 1.3 d per cent., a hich means that the rate-
payers are assessed at very nearly, for such payment,
one-fourth of their rent, as supposed to be laid down in
tho assessment book. These are great facts, no doubt ;
hut let us examine the amount of pauperism supported
at this extraordinary expense. The total average
number of paupers maintained appears, as nearly
as we can get at the number from the mys-
tifying account furnished, to be 597, and their
cost is 29,1'41. 15s. 90. ; annual average per
pauper, 431. 16s. 101 d., giving for the support of
each, per day, two shillings and fourpence three
farthings. Why, for less than this a man with
a small family can contrive to keep himself out of the
workhouse, and be a producing independent head of a
family. The wages to paid officials of, all descriptions
to effect this costly support of the poor amounts to
2,5241. ss. id., showing, on the parochial expenditure
(including police-rates and other matters, not exactly
for the poor), the sum of 36,1651. 10s. 5d., very nearly
7i per cent. for collection and servants of the parish,
divided mainly amongst a few individuals, the collectors'
to, the SUM of MA 144. 4d,
poundage alone amounting