The Sun.
London, England, 1836-12-30 00:00:00

AN' INFERNAL COOX.-.•-.Considering how intimately
the rineiples of gastronomy are bound up with the feelings
of human /Janine. and what long rows svf " good plain
cooks," " family coOlier and other sorts of coat, are daily
prenting their several welts in the advertising columns of
the iiii";l7 papers, it becomes absolutely astonishing hoc,' so
many uncultivatT4 individuals contrive to obtaing places as
plain cooks, who not only " spoil the broth," but carry tur-
moil and discord whithersoever they go.
Mrs. Williams ap Rice Williams summoned her late
nitiste?,, Mr. Llewellyn Jones, for V. 65., the amount of
one Mllnib''s ?Pages' for her services as a " plain cook" in
the family of Mr. Llewellyn Jones. Both parties, as the
names imply, were natives of the same Principality. Mrs.
Williams ap Rice Williams was very recently imported
from tile' mountains, while Mr. Jones was evidently imbued
with a consklernble portion of metropolitism, and, with the
exception of a very comfortable-looking red scratch wig,
was dressed in the first style of fashion.
A COMMISSIONER—HOW came you to quit the service
of Mr. Jones, eh Mrs. Williams? Plaintiff—Hurself sent.
hur away, and ail fur no reason but putting too much fish
in the pie.—(Laughter.)
COMMISSIONER—Too much fish ? Pray how did you
manage that ? Plaintiff—'Deed and hurselt cannot speak.
Hur did as hur was told.—(Laughter.)
COMMISSIONER—ReaIIy, Mr. Jones, we must trouble
you to explain all this.
Defendant—l shall, Sir, with much pleasure. I hire
Mrs. Williams to cook for me and my wife and children ;
ea she come, and went well on till last Monday, when I
told her to make an eel pie. Sir, this pie was made and
put upon my table, and the very first cut I discovered that
the eels were neither skinned, cut, nor gutted ! in fact, they
were sent to the baker's just as they came from the river.
Our stomachs were all turned, my hospitalities to my guests
disturbed, and all of us made ill. 1 call this d—d cook
up stairs, tell her of it, she laugh right in my face, and so I
send her away directly, pay her to the day, but no more.
Plaintiff—Hur only made a mistake, and hur must have
hur money.
After a short consultation the case was dismissed.
BREECHES TO FIT.—A remarkably staid old gentle-
man, in a huge pair of velveteen breeches, and wearing
spectacles, was summoned by a ninth part of a man (tailor)
for 11. 2s. 6d. money, alleged to be due and owing for one
pair of trunk-hose, or velveteen breeches.
COMMISSIONER—What do you say to this defendant?
Defendant—Why, Sir, this I say, as you must very well
know yourself, if a thing don't fit, it's of no manner of use,
not in the least, my Lord. Now, you jest look at my
legs and judge whether • these things could possibly fit me.
I say no ; very well then, what's to be done ?—why, re-
turn 'cm on his hands, in course ; and so I did, my Lord.
He sent 'cm back again—and I sends 'em back again to
him, 'cause, ye see, I couldn't possibly git my legs into 'cm.
—(Laughter, amid which the defendant exhibited a pair
of legs that many a Whitechapel porter might have
sighed for).
COMMISSIONER—What do you say to this plaintiff? You
can't compel a man to take an article that will not fit him.
Plaintiff, almost in tears, assured the Court that no breeches-
maker ever bore a better character for a good fit than him-
self, and could not account for the evident mistake that had
been made. He was willing to measure the defendant for
another pair.
On this arrangement, the case was dismissed without
prejudice.

LovE !—Magnificent, sublime, divine sentiment !
An immortal flame burns in the breast of that man who
adores and is adored. He is an ethereal being. The
accidents of earth touch him not. Revolutions of em-
pire, changes of creed, mutations of opinion, are to him
but the clouds and meteors of a stormy sky. The schemes
and struggles of mankind are, in his thinking, but the
anxieties of .pigmies, and the fantastical achievements of
apes. Nothing can subdue him. He laughs alike at
loss of fortune, loss of friends, loss of character. The
deeds and thoughts of men are to him equally indifferent.
He does not mingle in their paths of callous bustle, or
hold himself responsible to the airy impostures before
which they bow down. He is a mariner, who, in the
sea of life, keeps his gaze fixedly on a single star ; and,
if that do not shine, he lets go the rudder, and glories
when his barque descends into the bottomless gulf.—
Henrietta Templr. •
A man boasting in a coffee-house that be had.
drank six bottles of wine, a wag observed that it was more
than he could swallow.

At the Queen's Theatre, on Wednesday night last,
it was announced that Signor Gavaldi would exhibit the
perfection to which rifle-shooting can be brought, by strik-
ing, with a bullet from his rifle, an apple placed on his son's
head. The feat he accomplished ; but in an attempt to hit
an apple which the boy held in his hand be missed this
mark, and the ball passed through the fleshy part of he
boy's thumb, and slightly splintered the bone. Very few
of the audience were aware of what bad happened, as the
boy bore it with the greatest firmness, and did not utter any
exclamation of alarm which was audible beyond the stage.
He was immediately taken to the Infirmary, where his
wound was dressed, and he is now doing well. We should
hope that such exhibitions as this will not be tolerated in
future, even though the father should possess no more
humanity than thus to place his son's life in imminent peril.
—Manchester Guardian.

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.—A gentleman belonging
to this city, who has not yet escaped from the miseries of
" single blessedness," had a box sent to his address last week.
marked on the lid, " Game, carriage 2s. 6(1." On seeing
the box, the bachelor's eye brightened with delight at the
fine present sent him by some country cousin, and the glo-
rious prospect in %,iew of having a choice Christmas dinner
with a few select friends, to whom he would present at least
one turkey, a couple of woodcocks, and four pheasants, the
supposed contents of the box. Having paid the carriage,
and something to the porter for his trouble, the gentleman
and his housekeeper proceeded carefully to open the box ;
and after some little time and anxiety spent with the ham-
mer, the lid at last gave way, and what a beautiful present
of game ! " Mew !" said a fine sleek cat, as she popped out
her head from the box, and " weeo, wceo i" replied two
brisk little kittens, being the whole contents of the game-
box.—Scolsman.

Something more than a week ago William Byers and
two companions were one afternoon at the pleasant village
of Askham, near Lowther, on business in the horse-trade ;
and as this sort of business is very often tedious, they bad
protracted it till murky night had veiled the canopy of
heaven in impenetrable darkness—no twinkling star to
guide them in their path. When they left the village the
nielt was stormy and tempestuous, and as they had not
strictly observed the rules of temperance societies, they
began to cut many strange mathematical fig-ures, known
and unknown ; their way was down a gentle declivity
to Askhambridge—now this bridge. is narrow and the
parapets low—on arriving here the parties yawed and
rolled he►wily, and when Byers reached " the keystone o'
the brig," he made a lee lurch, and rolled over the para-
pet, and fell about twenty feet plump into the• roaring,
foaming, boiling river below, for it was heavy and
rapid, having been swollen by continued rain, and happy
was it for Byers that his fall was so soft and easy ; hail it
been •at either corner of the bridge instantaneous death
would have ensued, as the structure is built on a rock, and
the sides broken, rugged, and precipitous. The alarm
Was given, " a man overboard," but his companions were
helpless, powerless, and away went Byers floating down the
stream, about to be lanched into the great ocean of eter-
nity, when, most lucky for him, Thomas , Bordaile, tailor,
of Askham, was wending his way home in an opposite di-
rection, on the cast side of the river, and about forty yards
from the bridge he heard the splash, and dashed into the
stream up to the arm-pits, waiting to see what would
come. and in less than half a minute down came the drown-
ing Byers, floating. unconscious on the wave ; he caught
him in his arms and carried him more dead than alive safe
to shore; he soon recovered, and OWC i his. miraculous
escape to the courage and humanity of a tailor.— Wes/more-
land Gazelle.

A singular occurrence took place the other night in
Regent-street, at one of those dens not inappropriately called
" hells." A Baronet had lost -5001. at chicken hazard at
the house the night before, and by means which he began
to suspect- were not fair. On the evening in question his
losses were repeated, when he demanded the dice to be
given up to hint. This was readily complied with, except-
ing two dice, which were withheld, but which he eventually
obtained, and putting the whole of them into his pocket,
-declared that he would have them broken to pieces and
examined. In vain did the groom porter remonstrate, and
try various devices to act the dice back again. The next
day they were examined, and found quite correct, except
that two of them were fraudulently marked, each die having
two cinques and two deuces. A threat of exposure induced
the 'n.ambling-bouse keeper to return all the money which
the Baronet had lost at the takles.

A FEMALE MISER.-1-1. fcsv days ago a woman,
of the name of Farrer, living nCar Lambeth workhouse,
not having been seen, and her sho' being closed, strong
apprehensions were entertained that Some serious occur-
rence had befallen her, it being pretty generally reported
that, though she received a parish allowance, yet she was
in possession of considerable property. Information was
accordingly sent to the workhouse, when Dunn, formerly a
beadle, but now a messenger to the Board of Guardians,
proceeded to the old woman's residence. He obtained a
ladder for the purpose of entering the first floor, upon open-
ing the window of which he observed her huddled up m a
corner of the room. She showed no symptoms of anima-
tion. The body was placed in a shell, and conveyed to the
workhouse. where it was examined by Mr. Briant, the parish
surgeon, whose opinion was that she had died of apoplexy.
A search was afterwards made over her apartments, when,
in her drawers, besides a considerable quantity of wearing
apparel, there were found several silver spoons, with the
ini!ials of her and her late husband's name. Under her
pillow were five sovereigns and some silver, wrapped up in
a piece pf rag. There were several articles of property.
A document was also discovered, showing that a few weeks
ago she sold a for 401. For many years she received
2s. Gd. from the
pa:ish, besides 2s. Gd. a week from the
Humane Vauxhall Sociel:'. An inquest was held on the
body, when a verdict was re,Puned " That she died by the
visitation of God."

On Tuesday evening a gentleoan named Vaughan,
occupying apartments at No. 32, Jawitystreet, Cripplegate,
made a desperate attempt upon his life, by cutting his
throat with a razor in the most dreadful mauner. The un-
fortunate gentleman was discovered on the floor of his cham-
ber, weltering in his blood, by the landlady of the house. A
razor was clenched in his right band. A medical gentleman
was promptly in attendance, and staunched the blood by
sewing up the wound. Subsequently the wretched man
was conveyed in a coach to St. Bartholomew's hospital,
where the medical officers of the institution did what was
essential ; but, from the nature of the wound inflicted,
which has divided some of the principal vessels, his dissolu-
tion is hourly expected. He had only lodged a fortnight in
Jewin7streets and .his connections arc quite unknown ; but,
from his appearance and manners, it is evident he has moved
in the most respectable society. The cause of the rash act
cannot be accounted for, as the unhappy gentleman's mind
bad not been observed to be at all distressed—and he was
evidently in possession of ample means.
The Reverend Ebenezer Elliott, eldest son of the
" Corn-Law Rhymer," has been ordained to the Curacy of
New Mill, near Sheffield, by letters dimissory from the
Bishop of Ripon to the Archbishop of York.
The mischievous toleration allowed to the juvenile
part of the community, to form slides in the public streets
of the metropolis, has been productive of numerous, and, in
some cases, serious accidents, during the last few days. A
gentleman, residing in Finsbury-piuste, was brought to the
ground with such violence, at the coiner of Fore-street, on
Monday evening, that he lay for a few minutes insensible,
and sustained some severe bruises. Surely the duties of the
clay police are not so very onerous as to allow them no time
to attempt the abatement of this nuisance.
SINGULAR PHENOMENON,—AS Mr. Cambridge,
of Heft Tilstesid, was returning home from Devizes last
Thursday evening, a sudden storm of bail and rain cisme on
from the west, when there suddenly appeared a small bri3ht,
white light, of a globular form, at the top of the horse's
ears, very much ressmi;ling a weak gas light, or a glow-
worm. In about a minute afterwards the horse's head and
neck became covered with these lights, as many as 50 or
60 ; and on the small stick which Mr. C. carried in his
band, as many as 10 or 12, all which remained while he
proceeded about a quarter of a mile, when they gradually
disappeared. Mr. U.'s gloves were very wet at the time.
" I rubbed my hands down the horse's neck," says he, " but
that had no effect in removing the lights ; I also rubbed
with my hand the stick twice, but still the lights were
not removed ; the horse became very timid, and shook his
head, and stopped very much at the time, so that I had
enough to do keep him in the road ; it was remarkably
dark before the lights came on, but when they were on the
horse and the stick, I could see the colour of such per-
fectly. but yet threw no light quite forward ; the hinder
part of the horse, and my hat appeared to be also covered
with the lights, but I did not ot.serve any on my coat ; the
-lights were about the size of the fourpeany-pieces. The
same thing was seen by a man and wt..meti, about a mile
distant, in the same direction the storm was ; it was also seen
by Mr. Smallbone, on whose whip-handle only it appeared,
and particularly on the knots, as it was with my otiek ; yet
there appeared no flame, but sa still bright From
a Correspwzdent q f the Wiltshire Independent.
So great has been the accumulation of snow in the
great streets and thoroughfares of the metropolis, that the
autharities have found it necessary to issue orders to have
it carted away to the fi.slds in the suburbs, ia order to afford
a free passage to the mails, stage coaches,• omnibuses, wag-
gons, and other vehicles, which every minute enter into
London or proceed towards the country. In Oxford-street
alone, upwards of 50 carts and 150 men were yesterday em-
ployed in this novel occupation ; but unless a speedy thaw
should intervene, it is likely that a week, at least, must
elapse 'ere that thoroughfare cum be entirely cleared. At
present, all omnibuses and other carrinCf have additional
horses attached to them, in order to drag ti:sqa through the
streets.

CAUSES OF SUICIDE.—The following ace:mint,
by throwing light upon the true causes of suicides, may tend
to lessen the number of those dreadful -cases hereafter :
Out of 125 women who attempted sclf•dc:+•ruction, but who
were not able wholly to accomplish that fatal resolution,
Dr. Scipion Pinel ascot tamed that six were d?iyen to this
desperate act by grief for having lost their children, two by
fretting at not having any, nineteen by misery and derelic-
tion, five by jealousy, seven in consequence of childbed, four
by grief for being at the hospital, three by imitation, five by
trifling quarrels, nine by politinl terrors in June 1833, eleven
by religious excitement, thirteen by disappointment iu their
marriages, three by remorse at having ctolen, four by e-
morse at having dceeivcd their husbands, thirteen ill conse-
quence of a disorderly life and prostitution, twenty-one by
the bad behaviour and ill•treatment of their husbands. In
every one of these cases the confessions of these poor
‘vrctelies are precious for science and morality. Another
equally interesting circumstance is the manner of death
they had adopted :—Twenty-seven suffocated themselves
with charcoal, fourteen threw themselves into the • Seine,
!wn took vitriol, twelve starved themselves, thirty-five at-
tempted to jump nut of their windows, five tried to strangle
themselves, one to burn herself by setting her bed on fire,
seven by inflicting wounds in their necks, five in their chests,
one cut the arteries of her arm, twenty-one attempted to
hang themselves. Suicide most frequently occurs from be-
tween twenty-seven to forty years of nge.—French Papa.