The Sun.
London, England, 1849-08-10 00:00:00

MR. PIPS HIS DIARY.

TUESDAY, JULY 31.—Prevailed upon by my Wife
to carry her to Bath, as she said, to go see her Aunt
Dorothy, but I know she looked more to the Pleasure
of her Trip than any Thing else; nevertheless I do
think it necessary Policy to keep in with her Aunt,
who is an old Maid and bath a pretty Fortune; and
to see what Court and Attention I pay her, though
Ido not care 2d. about her ! But am mightily
troubled to know whether she has sunk her Money
in an Annuity, which'makes me somewhat uneasy at
the Charge of our Journey, for what with Fare, Cab
Hire, and Veils to Dorothy's Servants for their good
Word, it did cost me altogether, 61. 2s. 6d. To the Great
Western Station in a Cab, by Reason of oar Luggage ;
ror my Wife must needs take se many Trunks and
Bandboxes, as is always the Way with women : or
else we might have gone there for 2s. 6d. less in an
Omnibus. Did take our places in the First Class,
notwithstanding the Expense, preferring both the
seats and the company; and also because if any
Necks or limbs are broken I note it is generally in
the Second and Third Classes. So we settled, and
the Carriage Doors slammed to, and the Bell rung,
the Train with a Whistle off like a shot, and in the
Carriage with me and my Wife a mighty pretty
Lady, a Frenchwoman, and I did begin to talk
French with her, which my Wife do not well under-
stand, and by and by did find the Air too much for
her where she was sitting, and would come and
take her seat between us, I know, on Purpose. So
e 11 a reading the Times, till one got in at Hanwell,
who seemed to be a Physician, and mighty pretty
Discourse with him touching the Manner of treating
Madmen and Lunatics, which is now by gentle Ma-
nagement, and is a great Improvement on the old
Plan of Chains and the Whip. Also of the
Foulness of London for Want of fit Drainage, and
how it do breed Cholera and Typhus, as sure
as rotten Cheese do Mites, and of the horrid
Folly of making a great Gutter of the River.
So to Swindon Station, where the Train do stop ten
Minutes for Refreshment, and there my Wife hungry
and I too with a good Appetite, notwithstanding the
Discourse about London Filth. So we out, and to
the Refreshment-room with a Crowd of Passengers,
all pushing and jostling, and trampling on each
others' Toes, striving which should get served first.
With much Ado got a Basin of Soup for my
Wife, and for myself a Veal and Ham Pie, and
to see me looking at my Watch and taking a
Mouthful by Turns ; and how I did gulp a glass
of Guinness his Stout ! Before we bad half
finisbed, the Guard rang the Bell, and my Wife,
with a Start, did spill her Soup over her Dress, and
was obliged to leave Half of it, and to think how
ridiculous I looked, scampering back to the Train
with my Meat Pie in Mouth ! To run hurry scurry
at the Sound of a Bell do seem only fit for a Gang of
Workmen; and the Bustle of Railways do destroy all
the Dignity of Travelling ; but the World altogether
is less grand, and do go faster, than formerly. Off
again, and to the End of our Journey; troubled at the
Soup on my Wife's Dress, but thankful I had got my
Change, and not left it behind me at the Swindon
Station.—Punch.