The Sun.
London, England, 1862-08-20 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

(From Fun.)
LORD RUSSELL'S LETTER TO SECRETARY SEWARD.
(Translated into American by Manhattan.)
Sir,—Your ng letter is received. It's written pretty
" slick ;"

But somehow you are getting licked, by those you say you'll
lick.
We haven't interfered to help the South—nor "vice varsY ;"
We haven't noticed 'boze, sirree ! although you've been so
" sarcy ;"
We haven't squashed your arrogance, although it's got so
rotten,
Nor broke your sham blockade, although our people want
your cotton.
But we shan't wait much longer, so you'd better stop this
bustle
So wicked and unnat'ral. Your obedient servant,

RUSSELL.

A MAN OF MARK.—Sergeant Pixley,
A QUESTION FOR THE COURT OF BANKRUPTCY.—
When Day breaks, does Martin become involved ?

SENT BY MR. BERNIE OSBORNE.—" As the First
Lord' lives at the Admiralty, may not that official resi-
dence' at the present moment bo appropriately called
' Somerset House?' "

A NATURAL SEQUITUR,--The Thames has never been
purified, because the House of Commons necessarily over-
looks it I

BATHING AT BOULOGNE,—When you bathe at Bou-
logne, you should always take care to secure a bathing
costume such as is usually worn by your sex. Last season
poor Bodger, who didn't know the difference, walked off
with his wife's costume, while she retained his. It was bad
enough for him, but what must it have been for her ?
WIIO OUGHT TO JOIN THE VOLYNTEEES P—Pawn•
brokers and lovers, because they understand " popping ;''
pickpockets, because they are used to " rifling ;" shopmen,
because they are used to " counter-marching ;" and
foundrymen, glassblowers, smiths, and stokers, because
they can " stand fire ."
Why is friendship like glass ?—Because the great chances
are that it will be broken.

Does a transport of joy ever get a ticket of leave?
A " LIGHT" SUBJECT POR A GRIEYANGEI—" Why
should paymasters be grieved to:the heart," asks the Army
and Navy Gazette, "because they are not permitted to put
feathers in their cocked hats ?" This is a question not at
all difficult to answer. Paymasters are undoubtedly birds
of a feather, and yet Government deprives them of the
feather. The question of a feather can't be styled a weighty
subject for a grievance; but if we were a paymaster, and
had to amalgamate with a flock of other paymasters, we
should certainly stick for the feather, especially if we had
a wife and were henpecked I
rim POTATO DISEASE.—From all accounts the disease
seems again to have got an eye to business, for it has
already made a dead set at the potato, and the farmers
look upon their crops, sad spectators.
The word of command President Lincoln would like to
give to the once-United States—" As you were 1" What
he will have to give—" As you weren't 1"
IN-DOOR AMUSEMENT POE RAINY WEATHER.—
Cricket on the hearth.

THE MOST CHRONIC OF ALL DISEASES.—Time.
EXHIBITION NOVELTY.—A young lady at the Interna-
tional Exhibition, wishing to make an improvement on the
inquiry so generally in vogue, said to a gentleman—
" How's your poor gloves ?" Of course, he proceeded to
examine his hands with much trepidation, but was greatly
relieved to find his " mauves" were unimpeachable. This
slang is now common throughout the Exhibition, and we
think it right to warn gentlemen of nervous temperament,
as the result of this abrupt question might be too fearful to
contemplate.
A REGULAR SNEEZER."—Lord Dundreary.
BASHFUL BEATTY.—Designing Niece (not very young
and attractive)—" What objection have you to the sea-
side, aunt ?" Aunt (who is neither young nor handsome)
—" Well, my dear, there is so much flirtation, and there
are so many men looking out for attractive females, that
one finds it quite a bore I"
AN IN-JEW-DICIOUS APPLICATION.—SOnIe One has
been trying to get money out of Baron Rothschild by a
threat of violence. He ought to have known better than to
cry out " your money or your life" to one of a" peoplesh"
that would just as soon part with one as the other.