The Sun.
London, England, 1862-10-22 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

(From Fun.)
LINES WRITTEN ON SEVERAL WINDOW
PANES IN A COUNTRY INN.
BY SHENSTONE SMITH.
I have found out a fact, I declare,
I have found out a secret indeed,
But let me divulging forbear,
Some will say 'tis a barbarous deed ;
I have found—open widely your eyes,
I have found—to be startled prepare—
That the country is—now for surprise—
A swindle, a sham, and a snare.

As indulging the sweetest of dreams,
I recline on this soft shady bank,
For valleys and hedgerows and streams,
You bountiful nature, I thank I
How peaceful the prospect around,
How tuneful the wind through the trees
But chitch-oo I—so damp is the ground,
At-choo-ski I—that seems like a sneeze.

How pleasant 'mid flowers and plants,
One's limbs on the verdure to sprawl,
But not when a number of ants •
Up your trousers capriciously crawl.
You inhale the warm breath of the south,
You look up to the bluest of skies,
When filling your eyes and your mouth,
Comes a swarm of the smallest of flies.

That rustic—that innocent lad,
Simplicity here take a hint,
(Whose every third woad is so bad,
I should blush to record it in print—)
Must be free from the vices of town,
Though the language he uses is queer :
What I knocked his old grandfather down ?
Good gracious I and kicked him oh I dear.

Where yon smoke has so gracefully curled,
O'er the roof which the ivy has crowned,
You say if there's peace in this world,
That is just where it ought to be found.
That porch with its roses trained o'er,
There enters nor anger nor strife—
Shrill tones and a slam of the door I
The man has a vixen for wife.

But twilight will bring it. repose,
Oh I will it ? when moths, or instead
Great earwigs creep into your clothes,
And crawl all about you in bed.
The country, indeed, would be right,
For quiet as long as you stay,
If dogs didn't bark all the night
And children squall all through tho day.

Away to the lamp-lighted town,
Away to society's charms,
No more I despairingly down
Shall sit in the " Muggleton Arms."
No more shall 1 list to their din,
And discussion of local affairs,
I shall take my true ease at my inn,
In my chambers up five pair of stairs.

Oh I ye in the autumn who fly,
To rurality's depths for relief,
Be warned when these lines you espy,
Like me lest you come unto grief.
If you must take your " holiday out,"
Pray take it where some one you know,
For alone going walking about,
You'll find is uncommonly " slow."

CONTRIBUTION PROM DARNLET.—Why is a woman
deformed when she is mending stockings Because her
hands are where her feet ought to be.
Why are the Northerners and Southerners likely soon to
become friends again ?—Because, at the rate they are going
on, they will soon come to the Union (workhouse).
A NATURAL SEQUITUR.- As the Lord Mayor elect is
Rose, his talk will of course be flowery I People. in ad-
dressing him, will have to say, "By your lordship's
leaves I"
POLITICAL CHESS.—In expectation of a revolt of the
negroes, Lincoln declares the emancipation of the slaves.
" Black to move," but he don't. " Check!"
TAXING A LIBERTY WITH FREEDOM.--Lincoln candidly
states that he only emancipates the niggers as "a measure
for the preservation of the United States Government."
We should have thought it had black-guards enough for
its preservation already.
IMPORTANT TO LITERARY MEN.—Authors, for the
future, are to burn " composition" candles I
Why is a professed joker like a publican ?—Because he's
a licensed wit-teller

A GREAT PITY, INDEED,--The Emperor Napoleon is
sometimes called the " Man of December." What a pity it
is for Italy that he doesn't change himself into the " Man
of March !"

THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT.—A man may "beat
time" for years, but time is sure to beat him at last,—[Not
from the Musical World.]
NEw APPOINTMENT.—As guardian of the peace in thg
parks—Rain vice Mayne.

INT]

ERNATIONAL EXHIBITION.—The total attend-
ance at the building yesterday only amounted to 48,538
a lower number by at least some 25,000 than was
o
confi-
dently looked for by the executive. Of this number 4r
were admitted by season tickets, 824 by tickets for shilling
days, and 43,377 by payment at the doors.
DOINGS OF THE 290.— LIVERPOOL, TUESDAY.—:
Information received here to-day states that the Alabama
(290), Captain Semmes, has destroyed three American
ships, ande ships, the Brilliant, from London, the brig
an-
other vessel. The 290 also reports having
other ships, 10 of which were whalers.
The following
FRIGHTFUL TRAGEDY AT BoNNY.—
from a letter (says the Liverpool Mercury) is an extract
Captain John
re-
ceived by a gentleman in Liverpool
fromime of the horrible
Finlay, of the ship Faith, which at the time destroyed 13
Bonny river he
below detailed was lying
11 a ' creekman
natives killed what they call a
miles from Bonny, and who was
who lives some eight or ten
the creekmen are farmers in a
gi We had a fearful tragedy here last week; one
(that
tniea oafmthane
at Bonny selling yams,
waSanted to kill this native, and at a
shouldtm killiw
When
him.en th e
mßa lilt
h'
efiarrsdt
way). The Bonny
etanileyhis slaves, wives and children,
an 0 max •
ucniapeeteinhtinyhgoisuitrhwhoaaustsee:iw:raeiet; was passed upon him he shut himself
that sentence of
loaded all his large and small, then dug a trench
round and gaps,
about, and
filled it with small kegs of gunpowder
and set the chiefs at defiance. Things remained in this
state for
with hostile
two or three days, nobody daring to venture near
the house withintentions. At last the chiefs
offered two puncheons of oil to any one who would fire his
house. A slave took thepon the offer, fired the house to windward,
and the sparks falling u
set it on fire. When the house of the besieged soon
murderer of the creekman saw
this he gathered all his slaves, wives, and bairns within
the trench, applied the match, and in a second more nothing
was to be seen but mangled bodies amid the ruins of their
former home. There were 35 in number altogether. They
lay exposed for three days, then were put into sacks and
thrown into the river."
DEATH FROM DRINKING RUM.—An inquest was
held on Monday night at the Green Man, Poplar, on the
body of Frederick Towers, aged 30, who was found dead on
board the Caroline Woodyear, in the West India Docks, on
Saturday morning last, He was watchman on board the
Sabine, an American ship, and went on board it sober at 6
o'clock on Friday night, but was not noticed till found
dead next morning as stated. The Caroline Woodyear had
just arrived from India with a cargo of rum, and as at the
post mortens examination the man's brain, liver, and
stomach smelt strongly of rum, there was no doubt he had
gone on board and drank the rum till he poisoned himself.
Verdict accordingly' Deceased Was sstroug, healthy 112411.