The Sun.
London, England, 1862-10-10 00:00:00

SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.

ROYAL CALEDONIAN HUNT AND KELSO
M EETING.—THURSDAY.
The Border Handicap of 5 soya each, h ft, with 61 added,
for two .nd three-yr-olds ; winners extra. One mile,
13 subs.
Mr. Redhead's My Mary, 3 yrs, Bst 101 b .... (Osborne) 1
Mr. G. S. Thompson's Grimston, 3 yrs, 7st 6113
(Mr. Thompson)
Mr. T. S. Dawson's Miss Chaytor, 3 yrs, 6st 51b
(Whiteley) 3
Betting-6 to 4on My Mary, 6to 2 apt Grimston,
to 1 agst Miss Chaytor.
Won by three lengths ; a bad third.
The Caledonian Cup, value 100 soya in specie ; three-yr-
olds, 7st; four, Sst 21b ; five, 9st 91b; six and aged, Bst
121 b; penalties and allowances. Three miles. 14 subs.
Mr. Jackson's Haddington, 3 yrs
Mr. W. Hudson's Captain Crow, 3 (Whiteley) 2
Mr. R. Menzies' Montrr se, 5 yrs
Dick Swiveller and Wellington also ran.
Petting-5 to 2on Haddington, 4to 1 agst Captain
Crow, 7 to 1 aget Montrose.
Won by half a length ; three lengths between the second
and third.
A Plate of 59 sovs, given by the Caledonian Hunt ; weight
for ago, with selling allowances, Leo. One mile and a
half. 8 subs.
Mr. Eeles nd. Sweetbriar, 6 yrs (5,50) (Noble) 1
Mr. Johnstoae's Blood Royal, 3 yrs, (00) (Alarcon) 2
Little Captain, Gammon, and Sadie also ran.
Betting-5 to 4 agst Sweetbriar, 3to 1 agst Blood Royal
and Sadie.
Won by a length.
The Welter Cup (Handicap) of 50 soya, given by the Duke
of Buccleuch, added to a Sweepstakes of 5 soya each, h ft
winners extra ; gentlemen riders ; jockeys, 71b extra.
One mile and three-quarters. 20 subs, 8 declared.
Mr. M'Ghee nd Deeeption, 6 yrs, list .... (Mr. Deans) 1
Mr. T. Dawson's Tommy Jones, 3 yrs, list 101 b
(Mr. Erskine) 2
Dick Swiveller, Cremorne, The Slave, Johnnie, and
Marksman also ran.
Betting-6 to 4on Tommy Jones, 3to 1 agst Deception,
at d 6 to 1 agst Cremorne.
Won by three lengths.

The Tweedside Plate (handicap) of 50 sovs ; winners extra.

Seven furlongs.
Mr. D. F. Stewart's Joey Jones, 4 yrs, Btt 4lb (Snowden) 1
Mr. Waugh nd Confession, 4 yrs, 6st 31b (Carroll) 2
Mr. W. Owen's Brilliant, 3 yrs, Bst 21b (Mr. Thompson) 3
Eidolon, Longshot, Methodist Parson, King of Kars,
Flying Cloud, and Pilot also ran.

Betting-2 to 1 agst Confession, and 3to 1 each agst Joey
Jones and Brilliant.

SPEECH OF LORD DUNDREARY IN SECTION D,
W FRIDAY LAST, ON TBE GREAT HIPPO-
CA2IPUS QUESTION.

(From the Scotsman.)

[We have been favoured with a copy of the following
clever jeu d'esprit, which, we daresay, we are safe in saying
is from the pen of the Rev. Professor Kingsley :—]
_ _

"Mr. President and Gentlemen, I mean Ladies and Mr.
President, I am sure that all ladies and gentlemen present
will see the matter just as I do ; and I am sure we are all
very much obliged to these scientific men for quarrelling.
—No.---I don't meant that, that wouldn't be charitable,
and it's a sin to seal a pin ; but I mean for letting us hear
them quarrel, and so eloquently too ; though of course we
don't understand what is the matter and which is in the
right; but of course we were very much delighted, and 1
may say, quite interested, to find that we had all hippopo-
tamuses in our brains. Of course they're right you know,
because sceing's believing. Certainly, I never felt one in
wine ; but perhaps it's dead, and so didn't stir, and then, of
course, it don't count, you know. A dead dog is as good as
live lion. Stop—no. A live lion is as good as a dead
log—no, that won't do again. There's a mistake some-
where. What was I saying ? Oh, hippopotamuses, Well,
I say, Perhaps mine's dead. They say hippopotamuses
feed on water. No, I don't think that, because teetotallers
feed on water, and they are always lean; and the hippo's
fat, at least in the Zoo. Live in water, it must be; and
there'snone in my brain. There was when I was a baby, my
aunt says ; but they tapped me ; so I suppose the hippo-
potamus died of drought. No—stop. It wasn't a hippo-
potamus after all, it was hip—hip—not hip-hip hurrah, you
know, that comes after dinner, and the Section hasn't dined,
at least since last night, and the Cambridge wine is very
good, I will say that —No. I recollect now, Hippocam-
pus it was. Hippocampus, a sea horse; I learnt that at
Eton ; hippos, sea, and campus, a horse —no-- campus, a
sea, and hippos, a horse, that's right. Only campus ain't
a sea, it's a field, I know that ; Campus Martius—l was
swished for that at Eton—ought to be again, I believe, if
every dog had his day. But at least its a sea. horse, I know
that, because I saw one alive at Malta with the regiment,
and it a rang a bell. No; it was a canary that rang a bell,
but this had a tail like a monkey, and made a noise like a
bell. I daresay you won't believe me ; but 'pon 'honour
I'm speaking truth—Noblesse oblige, you know ; and it
had'nt been taught et all, and perhaps if it had it would'nt
have learned ; but it did, and it was in a monkey's tail,
No, stop, it must have been in its held, because it was in
its brain—and every one has brains in his head, unless he's
a skeleton ; and it curled its tail round things like a monkey,
that I know, for I saw it with my own eyes. That was
Professor Rolleston's theory, you know. It was Professor
Huxley said it was in his tail—not Mr. Huxley's, of course,
but the ape's; only apes have no tails, so I don't quite see
that. And then the other gentleman who got up last, Mr.
Flower you know, he said that it was all over the ape,
everywhere. All over hippocampuses, from head to foot,
poor beast, like a dog all over ticks I I wonder why they
don't rub bluestone into the back of its neck, as one does to
a pointer. Well then. Where was I ? Oh I and Pro-
fessor Owen said it was'nt in apes at all; but only in the
order bimana, that's you and me. Well, he knows best.
And they all know best too, for they are monstrous clever
fellows. So one must be right and all the rest wrong, or
else one of them wrong, and all the rest right—you see
that t I wonder why they dont toss up about it. If they
took a half-crown now or a shilling, or even a fourpenny-
piece would do,if theymagnified it, and t )st heads and tails,
or New o3narket, if they wanted to be quite sure, why then
there couldn't be any dispute among gentlemen after that,
of course. Well then, about men being apes, I say why
shouldn't it be the other way, and the apes be men? Do
you see ? Because then they might have as many hippo-
campuses in their brains as they liked, or hippotamuses
either, indeed. I should be very glad, indeed, if it was
so, if it was only for my aunt's sake; for she says that
her clergyman says, that if anybody ever finds a hippopo-
tamus in a monkey's head, nothing will save her great,
groat, great—l can't say how great, you see—its awful
to think of —quite enormous grandfather from having
been a monkey too ; and then what is to become of her
precious soul? So, for my aunt's sake, I should be
very glad if it could be settled that way, really; and I
am sure the scientific gentlemen will take it into con-
sideration, because they are gentlemen, as every one know's,
and would not hurt a lady's feelings—the man who would
strike a woman, you know—everybody knows that, it's in
Shakspeare. And besides, the niggers say that monkeys
are men, only they won't work for fear of being made to
talk ; no, won't talk for fear of being made to work ; that's
(right for once, as I live l) and put their hands over their
eyes at night for fear of seeing the old gentleman—and
I'm sure that's just like a reasonable creature;
I used
when I was a little boy ; and you see the niggers have
lived
l`
among them for thousands of years, and are monstrous likes
them, too, d'ye see, and so they must know best; and then
it would be all right. Well, then, about a gulf.
Pro-
fessor Huxley says there's a gulf between a man and an ape.
I'm sure I'm glad of it, especially if the ape bit—end r
Ofns
fessor Owen says there ain't. What ? am
I wcongo h f
course
course, Yes—beg a thousand pardons, really
N
—Professor Owen says there is, and Professor O Huxley says
there ain't, 'Well, a fellow can't recollect everything. But
I say, if there's a gulf, the ape might get over it and bite one
after all. I know Quintus Curtius jumpebdurtberstawgeuslfhaiet
Eton—that is, certainly, he jumped
in;
he might have
fault, you see : if he'd put in more l"
cleared it, and then there would have been no gulf between
him and an ape. But that don't
mattearssobrimdguecdh,obveer-
cause Professor Huxley said the rolfn,t wish to be wd
by a structure. Now, I am
sure
per-
sonal, especially after the
very
handsome way in which
all our healths. Stop—no.
Professor Huxley has
It's we that ought to drunkdrink his health, I'm sure, Highland
honours and all—but
the same time I should have been
obliged to him if he'd. g w
detaroit th
told us a little more about this strue-
ture, especially considering nasty mischievous things
apes are—tore one of my coat tails off at the Zoological the
other day. H® ought—no, I don't say that, because it
would seem like dicittatdmenw,nl daellnl'vtrleiDisegLhguott; zzirieedlillii do
humbly express that Professor
it at school—wrote
Huxleyate
mightbut I might •
dictation;
have told us a little, you see, about that
structure.
Was it wood ? Was it iron ? Was it
silver
and gold, like London-bridge when Lady Lee danced
over is, before it was washed away by a man w ith,
moat):
m his mouth? No, stop, I say—that earetbe ,
with a pipe in his mouth wash away a bridge?. A
Why a
fellow can't work hard with a pipe in his mouth—every-
body knows that— much less wash a
No, its quite absurd—quite.away a whole bridge.
Only I say, I should like
to know something about this structure, if it was only
to quiet my aunt. And, then,
if Prof
see the structure, why
can't
essor Huxley can
Professor Owen? It can't be
invisible, you know, unless
at itwcashplainted invisible
can see
like Ben Hall' a new bridge
that of course, for you have to payensoeaw;wohnelny you geo over,
so I suppose the green ain't the right colour. But that's
another reason why I want them to toss up—toss up, you
see, whether they saw it or not, or which of them should
see it, or something of that kind. I'm sure that's the only
way to settle ; and—oh, by the bye, as I said before—only
I didn't, but I ought to have—if either of the gentlemen
havn' t half-a-crown about them, why a two shilling piece
might do, though I never carry them myself, for fear of
giving one to a keeper, and then he seta you down for a
screw, you know. Because, you see, I see, I don't quite
see, and no offence to honourable members—learned and
eloquent gentlemen, I mean ; and though I don't wish to
dictate, I don't quite think ladies and gentlemen quite see
either. You see that ?" (The noble lord, who had ex-
pressed to accurately the general sense of the meeting, oat
down, amid loud applause.)