The Sun.
London, England, 1862-08-14 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

(From Fun.)
CAUTION TO FATIIERS.—If you indulge in the pastime
of catching moths you will become Mothers.

A FEW LINES FOR A FLY-PAPER.
BoTIrER the flies I now their nuisance commences,
Biting and buzzing from morning till night,
Sticking on papers, annoying our senses,
Sprawling in liquids, offending the sight.
Basins of sugar audaciously robbing,
Nipping our noses and blinding our eyes,
Into our coffee vexatiously bobbing,
Hark I the loud chorus of " Bother the flies I"

You want forty winks, and give way to the feeling,
When just as you dreamily fall in a doze,
A fly, by desire of his friends on the ceiling,
Performs a pas-seul on the tip of your nose ;
Or dinner is over, and buzzing the bottle,
As in, busy buzzing, some bluebottle pries,
Your health is proposed, you respond, and your throttle
Is choked with a spluttering " Bother the flies I"

At tea all in vain we anathemas utter,
Of peace and of pieces each mortal they bilk,
That impudent fly oils his hair with your butter,
Who takes every morning his bath in your milk.
Of patience exhauster, of temper a nattier,
Philosophy
only can hinder the cries,
Of " Bother the "--fiff! I think that was a settler—
Missed him, by jingo I—of
"Bother the flies 1"

Why may the Apollo Belvedere be called solid music?—
Because it is a new ditty in stone.
THE NEW GAME LAWS.—On and after the passing of
and give it a young appearance ; hut if he gives
these is a poacher must not dye game to improve its
uphis
unlawful calling, enters the army or navy, and falls
lu
m a ge,
:cur with DEERFOOT must study the
in action, he may then die game. Poachers may in future
any penalty. A young man
rlicknegt billiards, cards, Aunt Sally,
Henceforth it will not be necessary to take
Dundreary whiskers, he will not be
out a game licence
'
etc. If a "convalescent Adonis" wishes to cultivate downy
nip:chines.
game.
who wishes
called on to pay for shooting hairs.
swit.othoenugtfaoiner
While in pursuit of
are in future to train their mustaches
game, sportsmen
zuust,,‘hes and Loyd
with
gum, a la Kftpokon ; they will then have no trouble
with their dogs, for their pointers will always be under
their very nose. Although all pieces, or guns, have per-
cussion locks, it is not in future necessary, however quick
the game are likely to rise, to send your guns to the Jockey
Club to be handy-capped.
said a phrenologist,
" Ah I" gazing on a fine expanse of
forehead, " there's a development ; See what nature has
done for him ; and yet he won't lend me sixpence..
' During the temPorary absence of Cabby for change, our i

THE CAB CONSPIRACY.—The Cabmen of London me-
nace insurrection. Thete is no time to inquire into the
origin of their disaffection, but it dates from the time when
their Glorious Three Days of strike produced the tyranni-
cal Act of Parliament which compels them to be tolerably
honest and civil, except when their fares are women, stran-
gers, or other unprotected persons. The foul wrong which
'placed means of redress within the reach of any person who
has plenty of nerve and perseverance, and a week to throw
away, has rankled in the minds of the cabmen, and the
exultation into which they have been thrown by the plun-
der which they have made this Exhibition year, has
brought them to exploding point. They now-announce, in
fiery placards, headed " Awake, arise, or be for ever fallen,"
that they are resolved and united, and that they are about
to make a great demonstration in favour of their right to
commit highway robbery. When cabmen conspire, good
men must combine. They announce that they are going to
meet, several thousands strong, in Exeter Hall, and that
on the day of their meeting no cab shall be brought out
after twelve o'clock. They say, in print, that they wish
" to give the public a notion of the inconvenience of hav-
ing no cabs." 'What the innocent public has done to de-
serve that the whole business and pleasure of a great city
should be stepped, in order to promote the interests of the
pockets of any set of men, is not worth discussing. Be this
as it may, the licensing authorities have the matter pretty
much in their own hands. If the cabmen want the law
altered, the same means are open to them that are employed
by her Majesty's other subjects for obtaining a revision of
the law. But if they proceed to conspiracy and coercion,
they should be made to comprehend that the law of cabs is
made for the benefit of three millions of Londoners, not for
that of three thousand drivers. Suppose Somerset House
announces that the licence of every cabman who strikes, as
threatened, shall be, ipso facto, cancelled. Doubtless there
will be some inconvenience to the public for some time.
But we shall be relieved, at once and for the future, from a
system of extortion and ruffianism.