The Sun.
London, England, 1862-10-10 00:00:00

SPEECH OF LORD DUNDREARY IN SECIJON
ON FRIDAY LAST, ON TEE GREAT HIPPO-
CAMPUS QUESTION.

(From the Scotsman.)
[We have been favoured with a copy of the following
clever jeu d'esprit, which, we daresay, we are safe in saying
is from the pen of the Rev. Professor Kingsley :—]
"Mr. President and Gentlemen, I mean Ladies and Mr.
President, I am sure that all ladies and gentlemen present
will see the matter just as I do ; and I am sure we are all
very much obliged to these scientific men for quarrelling.
—No.—I don't meant that, that wouldn't be charitable,
and it's a sin to steal a pin ; but I mean for letting us hear
them quarrel, and so eloquently too ; though of course we
don't understand what is the matter and which is in the
right ; but of course we were very much delighted, and 1
may say, quite interested, to find that we had all hippopo-
tamuses in our brains. Of course they're right you know,
because seeing's believing. Certainly, I never felt one in
mine; but perhaps it's dead, and so didn't stir, and then, of
course, it don't count, you know. A dead dog is as good as
a live lion. Stop—no. A live lion is as goal as a dead
dog—no. that won't, do a;; lin. There's a mistake some-
where. What was I saving ? Oh, hippopotamuses. Well,
I say, perhaps mine's dead. They say hippopotanittes
feed on water. No, I don't think that, because teetotallers
feed on water, and they are always lean; and the hippo's
fat, at least in the Zoo. Live in water, it must be; and
there'snone in my brain. There was when I was a baby, my
aunt says ; but they tapped me ; so I suppose the hippos
potamus died of drought. No—atop. It wasn't a hippo-
potamus after all, it was hip—hip—not hip-hip hurrah, you,
know, that comes after dinner, and the Section hasn't dined,
at least since last night, and the Cambridge wine is „rem
good, I will say that.—No. I recollect now,
pus it was. Hippocampus, a sea horse; I learnt that at
Eton; hippos, sea, and campus, a horse —no—seempus a
sea, and hippos, a horse, that's right. Only campus ain't
a sea, it's a field, I know that ; Campus Martins—l wee
swished for that at Eton—ought to be again, I believe, if
every dog had his day. But at least its a sea. horse, I know
that, because I saw one alive at Malta with the regiment,
and it a rang a bell. No; it was a canary that rang a bell,
but this had a tail like a monkey, and made a noise like a
bell. I daresay you won't believe me ; but 'pon honour
I'm speaking truth—Noblesse oblige, you know ; and it
had'nt been taught at all, and perhaps if it had it would'nt
have learned; but it did, and it was in a monkey's tail.
No, stop, it must have been in its head, because it was in
its brain—and every one has brains in his head, unless he's
a skeleton ; and it curled its tail round things like a monkey,
that I know, for I saw it with my own eyes. That was
Professor Rolleston's theory, you know. It was Professor
Huxley said it was in his tail—not Mr. Huxley's, of course,
but the ape's ; only apes have no tails, so I don't quite sea
that. And then the other gentleman who got up last, Mr.
Flower you know, he said that it was all over the ape,
everywhere. All over hippocampuses, from head to foot,
poor beast, like a dog all over ticks I I wonder why they
don't rub bluestone into the back of its neck, as one does to
a pointer. Well then. Where was I ? Oh I and Pro-
fessor Owen said it was'nt in apes at all; but only in the
order bimana, that's you and me. Well, he knows best.
And they all know best too, for they are monstrous clever
fellows. So one must be right and all the rest wrong, or
else one of them wrong, and all the rest right—you see
that ? I wonder why they dont toss up about it. If they
took a half-crown now or a shilling, or even a fourpenny-
piece would do, if they magnified it, and test heads and tails,
or Newmarket, if they wanted to be quite sure, why then
there couldn't be any dispute among gentlemen after that,
of course. Well then, about men being apes, I say why
shouldn't it be the other way, and the apes be men ?
you see ? Because then they might have as many hi.ppo-
campuses in their brains as they liked, or hippotesmuses
either, indeed. I should be very glad, indeed, if it was.
so, if it was only for my aunt's sake; for she says that
her clergyman says, that if anybody ever finds a hippopo-
tamus in a monkey's head, nothing will save her great,
great, great—l can't say how great, you see—its awful
to think of—quite enormous grandfather from having
been a monkey too ; and then what is to become of her
precious soul ? So, for my aunt's sake, I should be
very glad if it could be settled that way, really ; and I
am sure the scientific gentlemen will take it into con-
sideration, because they are gentlemen, as every one know's,
and would not hurt a lady's feelings—the man who would
strike a woman, you know—everybody knows that, it's in.
Shakspeare. And besides, the niggers say that monkeys
are men, only they won't work fm fear of being made to
talk ; no, won't talk for fear of being made to work ; that's
(right for once, as I live!) and put their hands over their•
eyes at night for fear of seeing the old gentleman—and.
I'm sure that's just like a reasonable creature; I used to
when I was a 14:ttle boy ; and you see the riggers have lived
among them 'ler thousands of years, and are monstrous like
them, toe, d'ye see, and so they must ktow best; and then.
it would be all right. Well, then, about a gulf. Pro-
fessor Huxley says there's a gulf between a man and an ape.
I'm sure I'm glad of it, especially if the ape bit—and Pro-
fessor Owen says there ain't. What ? am I wrong, eh ? Of
course, Yes—beg a thousand pardons, really now. Of course
—Professor Owen says there is, and Professor Huxley says
there ain't, Well, a fellow can't recollect everything. But
I say, if there's a gulf, the ape might get over it and bite one
after all. I know Quintus Curtius jumped over a gulf at
Eton—that is, certainly, he jumped in; but that was his
tault, you see : if he'd put in more powder be might have
cleared it, and then there would have been no gulf between
him and an ape. But that don't matter so much, be-
cause Professor Huxley said the gulf was bridged over
by a structure. Now, I am sure I don't wish to be per-
sonal, especially after the very handsome way in which
Professor Huxley has drunk all our healths. Stop—no.
It's we that ought to drink his health, I'm sure, Highland
honours and all—but at the same time I should have been
obliged to him if he'd told us a little more about this struc-
ture, especially considering what nasty mischievous things•
apes are—tore one of my coat tails off at the Zoological the
other day. He ought--no, I don't say that, because it
would seem like dictation, I don't like that; never could do
it at school—wrote it down all wrong—got swished—hate
dictation; but I might humbly express that Professor
Huxley might have told us a little, you see, about that
structure. Was it wood ? Was it iron ? Was it silver
and gold, like London-bridge when Lady Lee danced
over it, before it was washed away by a man with a pipe
in his mouth ? No, stop, I say—that can't be. A man
with a pipe in his mouth wash away a bridge? Why a
fellow can't work hard with a pipe in his mouth—every-
body knows that—much less wash a away a whole bridge.
No, its quite absurd—quite. Only I say, I should like
to know something about this structure, if it was only,
to quiet my aunt. And, then, if Professor Huxley can.
see the structure, why can't Professor Owen ? It can't be
invisible, you know, unless it was painted invisible green,
like Ben Hall' a new bridge at Chelsea ; only you can see
that of course, for you have to pay now when you go over,
so I suppose the green ain't the right colour. But that's
another reason why I want them to toss up—toss up, you
see, whether they saw it or not, or which of them should
see it, or something of that kind. I'm sure that's the only
way to settle ; and—oh, by the bye, as I:said before—only
I didn't, but I ought to have—if either of the gentlemen
hasn't half-a-crown about them, 'why a two shilling piece
might do, though I never carry them myself, for fear of
giving one to a keeper, and then he sets you down for a
screw, you know. Because, you see, I see, I don't quite
see, and no offence to honourable members—learned and
eloquent gentlemen, I mean ; and though I don't wish to
dictate, I don't quite think ladies and gentlemen quite see
either. You see that ?" (The noble lord, who had ex-
pressed so accurately the general sense of the meeting, sat
down amid loud applause.)

THE GARIBALDI PAPAL RIOTS IN HYDE-PARK.—
(THIS Dev)—This morning a number of workmen were
employed in Hyde-park, by order of the Hon. W. Cowper,
her Majesty's Commissioner of Works, levelling the mounds
from which the stump orators who assembled in the park
were in the habit of addressing their hearers, and the
struggle for the possession of which led to the disgraceful
riots that have occurred the two last Sundays. The police
have ascertained that the supporters of the Pope intend to
muster in the park in strong force on Sunday next to renew
the disturbances, and accordingly additional precautions of
a very stringent nature Will be taken to prevent any further
b.reach of the peace. Last evening another riot took place
in Tothill-street, Westminster; it originated in a drinking
saloon, Where a number of low Irish attacked the rest of
the company
with the cry of " Up with the Pope, down
with Garibaldi." Several of the Guards took part in the
affray, and four of the Coldstreama, named Edward Barnes,
John Jones, John Elliott, and John Hibberd, were so
seriously cut and injured that they had to be taken to
Westminster Hospital for surgical assistance.
A letter from Palermo says :—" A valuable trea-
sure has just been discovered in the palace of the Marquis
del Vesta, who recently died here. In a secret hiding-place
formed in the wall of his study, there has been found, piled
up in the greatest disorder, a vast quantity of ancient plate,
candelabra, candlesticks, 60,000 ducats in gold coins of the
old sovereigns of the Bourbon dynasty, and a considerable
number of old colonnades, a coin bearing the effigy of
Charles 111. This treasure was collected by one of the an-
cestors of the marquis, who filled the highest posts at the
Court of Spain under the Emperor Charles V."

It is stated that the Liverpool and Birkenhead
Dock Commissioners have sanctioned au expenditure of
£6,000 on works for the storage of petroleum, and that in
case of necessity they will be extended so as to cost £40,000.
It appears, from the accounts laid before the
Second Chamber of Holland relative to the receipts and ex
penses of the budget for the construction of railways ill
1860, that the sum to be expended was 1,000,000 tiorius,
and the expenditure 737,469 florins, leaving a balance af
262,531 florins.
Some citizens of Offenbach, in Hesse-Darmatadt
lately addressed the following telegram to Garibaldi"
General—A lively sympathy and high esteem induces the
:
Liberals of Offenbach to ask for news as to your health."
The following reply was received :—" I cordially thank
the brave citizens of Offenbach. I suffer, but do not com-
plain. All is going on well. The treatnie4t will be long;
the cure is still CilagUlts"