The Sun.
London, England, 1863-11-19 00:00:00

(From Punch.)
His Majesty the Elected of the Millions. Enter to

him, Dr. Punch.

Dr. Punch. I have the honour to wish your Majesty a
good morning. I trust that her Majesty is in the best health
and spirits. I hope that the Imperial Prince is all that the
fondest parents could desire.
The Emperor. Sit down, Doctor, and don't,be loquaoiotts.
I hate too much talk.
Dr. P. In that hate, your Majesty, is—forgive me—part
of the secret of your people's admiration. A Frenchman
thinks it a miracle that any one should be able to hold his
tongue.
The Snip. There may be something in that. Anyhow,
hold yours.
Dr. P. I thought your Majesty did me the honour of
sending for me.
The Emp. I did. But I want you to listen.
Dr. P. If I thought I should hear any good of myself,
Sire, I would listen with pleasure.
The Emp. If you will not be silent, Doctor, I will ooin.
municate with you through my new talking Minister.
Dr. P. I am dumb, Sire, in presence of that menace.

•
The Emp. 1 have invited the Sovereigns of Europe to a
Congress, that we may settle all our troubles and quarrels
by Arbitration.
Dr. P. And what, in the name of all that is reasonable
and humane, Sire, have I been preaching to you—l
DOCTOR PUNCH—for the last ten years? What, in fact,
have I been preaching to all the Sovereigns, and Emperors,
and Presidents ever since I mounted the pulpit in 1841 ?
The Emp. Confound you, are you going to favour me
with a verbal re-issue of all your back volumes I

Dr. P. No, Sire, but I insist upon saying that lam glad
and proud to see the greatest King of the Earth—you will
observe the masculine gender in my observation-
-Ihe Well, well, everybody knows your chivalrous
loyalty to your own admirable Sovereign—get on.
Dr. P. Proud to sea the greatest King of the Earth at
length converted to the faith which I have been preaching
for twenty years ; namely, that war, except in salf-defences
is a crime and a blunder.
the Emp. All wars are in self-defence.
Dr. P. That in Mexico, Sire, for instance P I did not
hear that the Mexicans were marching on Normandy, or
even on Cayenne, which is nearer to them, but your ma-
jesty is perhaps better informed.
2'he Emp. Don't you talk cant. All wars are in self-de-
fence. Are you not defending yourself against Japan
Have you not just destroyed an entire city which—
Dr. P. Sire, we were not talking of Japan, and I believe
that Earl Russell will have explanations to offer which will
be entirely satisfactory to—to parties without prejudice.
But that is not the point. I have been proclaiming with all
my might, for nearly half a century, that the Captains
Tongue and Pen ought to do the work which barbarism
trusted in
to Captain Sword, and I am rejoiced to have maid;
a convert of the master of 600,000 soldiers,
The Emp. Have you done ?

Dr. F. No, Sire; I have only just begun. And then,
Sire, hew truly wise it is in you, as Emperor of France,
to have taken this course. Study to be quiet; and, as my
friend Earl Russell says, Rest and be thankful. You have
no Constitution—

Elie
Emp. I'll hunt with you, shoot with you, dine with
you—come, I'll even sit out a melodrama in eleven acts
with you, for a thousand napoleons. Or make it sovereigns.
Dr. P. Sire, could you suspect me of a personal refer-
ence ? I mean that you, as Franoe, have no Constitution,
and therefore cannot afford to racket about as sturdy Mrs.
Britannia can do, The quieter the better, and as Emperor
of France—

The Emp. " Of the French," it says on the coins.
Dr. P. But the Parisians are Frenchmen, Sire, I hava
heard; and if proclivities are to be judged by elections— _
The Emp, Don't remind me of that infernal Duke of
Defeats.

Dr. p.Pardon the allusion, Sire. If you can get a Con-
gress into Paris I dare say a good many Frenchmen, espe-
cially those in the commercial and hotel line, will be on'
vinced that their patriotism was a mistake.
The Emp. Well, am Ito have a Congress f ..;siir!
I sent for you to ask, but you are so full drat
cation that there's no edging in a word.
Dr. P. Consider, Sire, a struggle of nearly half a eentury
crowned by my finding myself the
Victor of the Victor of

the w3rld:
The Emp. Very well, Dr. Johnson, and now answer my
quDr.estion.
P. Well, Sire, if you come to that, there are several
preliminary inquiries which I
dleust make, and the first is,
what time does your Majesty ?
the _Env,. We'll ascertain, and then have a quiet weed
in the pavilion.
our Majesty's orders. You will not re.
Dr. P. Ism at y
Doctor's Advice. [Exeunt
Bret having followed the