The Sun.
London, England, 1863-08-01 00:00:00

PAYING WITH NOTHING !

Revived in the form of an American anecdote, the
following old English joke is thus related by a
lineal descendant of Joe Miller, in the Court Chro-
nicle :—A wag passing an hotel at the usual hour
of dinner, stepped up to the bar, and demanding
the price of a glass of shrub, desired the landlord to
brew forthwith. While the shrub remained upon
the table, hearing a bell in the hall announce the
welcome fact that dinner was ready, he asked the
" darkey" what was the price of the dinner, and
was informed that fifty cents was the usual fee.
" And you ask fifty cents also for a glass of shrub,
do you not ?" Being answered in the affirmative,
he replied that he would prefer dining, and would
take his meal instead of the shrub. Being ushered
into the dining-hall, he proceeded at once to discuss
the delicacies which the table afforded. " Darkeys,"
with snow-white aprons moved around him, and
presented the smoking viands, or removed the
covers with their wonted silence and dexterity.
Among these a venerable " cuffee" danced attendance
upon our hero, never dreaming of the trick which
the traveller was playing in the interim. When
dinner was over, and the guests were on the point
of quitting the hall, our hero was accosted by his
sable friend at the door, and a demand of fifty cents
made for the meal. " Fifty cents !" exclaimed the
wag in well-feigned astonishment—" Fifty cents for
what ?" "Fur de dinner, yer honor," replied
woolly-head, " and de boss (i.e., the landlord) told
me to collect it." "Well, I like that r said the other
—" but I don't owe anything to the boss, he per-
fectly understood the arrangement, for I took
the dinner instead of the shrub. Armed with this
important information, " darkey" proceeded to the
landlord, who, in anything bat g3ntle tones, de-
nounced him as a fool, and ordered the collection of
the sum upon the spot.
When the" darkey" returned to the ball, insisting
again upon the usual fee, he was dumbfoundered at
the following conclusive, and, to him, incomprehen-
sible argument Lookee here, you black fool, I
took my dinner instead of the shrub, and how can
you dare demand payment of me under those cir-
cumstances ? " Yes, sir,'' observed the nigger,
"but ye didn't pay for de shrub, did ye ?" Of couree
not," said the other coolly, "I didn't use it. Do you
expect a man to pay for what he has never had ?
The shrub remains where I left it, untouched. Go
to the landlord, who, I guess, must be as big a fool
as yourself."
The "darkey," thus left to his meditations, began
revolving in his mind the various windings of the
case, and pondering upon its deep and many com-
plications, while the "knowing one," observing the
effect of his eloquence upon the bewilderel brain of
" cuffee," quietly went his way. "Now," began
" cuffee," musing to himself, " If I go to de boss, I
shall get kicked for my pains, and branded as a fool
for not seeing the joke, while, on the other. hand, if
I follow the gen'eman, and insist upon the payment
of fifty cents., I shall be laughed at by de crowd in
the street. One way only remains; I must pay de
money myself, and save de unpleasant proceedings."
With this sage resolve, " darkey," producing his
wallet, handed over fifty cents. to the landlord as
"de pay for de gen'l'man's dinner."

THE CIRCUITS OF THE JUDGES.—An Act of
Parliament has just been issued to enable her Majesty in
Council to make alterations in the circuits of the judges in
England and Wales. The Treasury is empowered, with
the santion of the Lord Chief Justices and the Lord Chief
Baron, to alter the salaries of the clerks of the anizes on the
alteration of the circuits, and power is also given to increase
or diminish the number of revising barristers within the
circuits affected by the act.
SHOCKING DEATH FROM CRINOLINE. —Mr. Black-
burn on Thursday held an inquest at the Town-hall,
Leeds, upon Harriet Moody, aced 22, the daughter of a
shoemaker in York-road, whose life had undoubtedly been
sacrificed to the senseless fashion of wearing large crino-
lines. The deceased worked at Mr. Holling's cloth mill,
Millgarth-street, and on Wednesday afternoon, about Leif-
past 4 o'clock, she was standing on the top of the fourth
story of the building, apparently waiting for a companion.
A widow named Cudworth„ who was employed at the same
mill, saw her turn round as if to make way for some one,
and immediately afterwards heard an agonising scream.
Mrs. Cudworth ran and found the deceased had become
entangled with the shafting, which continued to revolve.
The foreman at once ordered the engine to be stopped, but
owing to the absence of the fireman and the inability of the
man left in charge to control the machinery, the shafting
continued in motion for ten minutes or a quarter of an hour,
every revolution dragging the unfortunate deceased closer
and tighter to the machinery. When at length the engine
was stopped she was frightfully mutilated, her chest being
injured and her bowels protruding. Her dress had to be cut
away in pieces, and as six thicknesses of crinoline still en-
circled the deceased and the shaft it was some time before
she was removed, and sho expired five minutes after her
extrication. Mrs. Cudworth believed that the deceased's
crinoline had flown round and caught in the shafting. She
had not, she said, considered the shafting dangerous, " but
then," she added, "I never wear crinoline, and would not
allow a person who wore one to work in a mill." A discus-
sion occurred among the jury respecting the advisableness
of the shafting being protected, and eventually the inquest
was adjourned until Friday, to enable the factory inspector
to attend.—Leeds Mercury. _

OATHS—FRENCH AND ENGLISH !—As regards
swearing, however (extremes meet), French has out
and out the best of it, There is certainly a cordial satisfac-
tion, a real comfort, to be found in the use of the general
English expletive, but it fades int) washy insignificance by
the side of the rolling r's of France. The incomparably
blasphemous form of some of the oaths employed by the
lower classes there gives them a special character, of which
even the English mining districts can afford no worthy
parallel. But putting aside these exceptional outbursts, and
limiting the comparison to damn on one side, and r on the
other, English must climb dawn at once. Nothing can ex-
ceed the soothing effects of every kind which may be derived
from the dexterous use of a rolling r. All the single swear-
ing words which French posseses contain it, and as it con-
stitutes their main essence, there is no apparent reason
why any other words of similar form should not do as well,
and why the most violent objurgations should not be ex-
pressed by suc-r-r-r-re, poivr-r-r-r-re, or cuivr-r-r-r-r-re ;
if they passed into the adopted list their inoffensive signifi-
cations would enable them to be used in public talk, just ae
sac a papier and sabre de bola already are by mild old ladies
out of temper.—From the new number (for August) of
Bentley's Miscellany.
GENERAL MEADE'S PERSONAL APPEARANCE.—
Gen. Meade's form is gaunt and thin, impressing
the idea of bodily tenacity rather than strength, and a capa-
city to endure fatigue that we could not predict of a more
robust and invincible figure. His high top boots and loose
blouse are bespattered with mud, and were it not for his
shoulder straps and intelligent face it would be difficult to
distinguish that he was not a private in the yanks. His face
is almost covered with beard, and his neck displays a leather
stock that might have been used in the days of his ances-
tors. He is otherwise collarless, and nis face is colourless,
being ghastly pale, with thought, study, and anxiety
marked upon every lineament. His mind speaks through his
eye, and you tell at a glance that before you stands a man
who is equal to any responsibility, and not afraid to meet
it in any shape. His nose is the antique bend, whiCh is the
most prominent feature of the face. He appears a restless
and nervous man, quick to move, but not so quick that
celerity would destroy steadiness.—American paper.