The Sun.
London, England, 1863-08-21 00:00:00

~ ASS" IN PRESENTI!

Referring to the eccentric announcement of a forthcoming
Prize Show of Costermongers' _Donkeys, by his reverence
the Vicar of Bray—we beg pardon, by the Rev. Thomas
Jackson, M.A., Rector of Stoke Newington, our wicked
contemporary, the Sakrday Review, thus humorously expa-
tiates upon Mr. Jackson's self-appointed office of protector
of the asinine race : —There is, perhaps, no danger of re-
calling the old heathen libel against cur religion, that the
early Christians used to worship an ass's hea4 ; but a
clergyman ought to be chary in adopting associations of
this particular kind. The Golden Ass might endear
Apuleitts's subject to mere scholars, so might the Asinaria
of Plautus ; and the unsavoury memories of La Pucelle
might recommend 1188311 to the students of scrofulous French
literature. Coleridge and the author of " Peter Bell" have
sung and sonnetized on behalf of tile " poor little foal of an
oppressed race," but why should a Protestant clergyman
take up the burden of Issachar, and set up as a judge and
adjudicator in asinine competition ? A song was popular
some twenty years ago—a fragment from Asinius Polito
which described the model costermonger, who may be ex-
pected to compete in the Great International Exhibition. of
Jackasses, suggested by the rector of Stoke Nernton.
Are the competitors to approach the judge's seat, singing—

If I had a donkey wot would'nt go,
Do you think I would wallop him ? Oh, no no
I'd give him soma hay, and say, " Gee, ho," &c. ?
Or, as the judge is clerical, does he propose to revive at
Stoke Newington Church the famous Festum Asinorum ?
Is it intended to chaunt, in a procession of Coster-
mongers, the old hymn which once resounded in the aisles
of Beauvais ?
Orientis partibus
A.d ventavit asinus,
Pulcher et fortissimos
Sarcinis aptissitnus.
The vernacular chorus or response, which is preserved by
Du Cange, might be translated into the Cockney tongue of
the costermongers. The rector and the choir would of
course intone the Latin hymn as it stands; but we can
quite fancy that a skilful adapter might make something of
the old Beauvais refrain:—

Hez, Sire Asnes, car chantez,
Belle bouche resignez,
Vous aurez du foin asset,
Et de I'avoine a plantez.
We venture on a version for the " Prize Show of Coster-
mongers' Donkeys :"
Bray, Sir Ass, h.e-haw away,
Open pretty mouth and bray ;
You shall have a feed of hay,
And peck of oats at Jackson's pay.
Or the forthcoming exhibition of asses might possibly
take a histrionic form instead of that of an tcclesiastical
mystery-play. The Judge may appear as Bottom Trans-
formed, with the usual theatrical property of an ass's head,
and may pat his own shaggy ears, and smooth his MU
gentle nose, or attempt what Wordsworth calls
The long dry see-saw ®f a horrible bray,
in sympathy with his brethren. But though many forms
might be suggested of giving the advertised Prize Show of
Donkeys considerable external Mut, we are still at some
difficulty in understanding the rector of Stoke Newingtores
personal claim to this ottice of judge and president ank,og
donkeys. He knows himself best; he may be conscious of
subtle affinities which are special qualifications for the
function he has chosen. It may be that he remembers
Johnson's canon--
Who drives fat oxen should himself be fat—.

and that he applies it to himself-
-who jwiges BCE should himself be ate.