The Sun.
London, England, 1830-04-22 00:00:00

LUDICROUS SCENE.

The following ludicrous scene occurred at an in-
quest before Lord Moncrielf on Saturday last, for
serving an heir to the late John Granger, writer to
the signet :
Macer—Thomas —, my Lord.

But we must endeavour to describe the witness.
He was a tall figure, whose dress corresponded with
his countenance, which was odd and ridiculous in
the extreme; he had a peculiar affection in the face,
of snuffing up the air, and twisting his head at the
same instant as if surveying the audience. His cos-
tume, which consisted of a snuff-brown coat and a
red waistcoat buttoned to the throat, bespoke him
the bellman in some borough town, or a retainer or
dependant of the council.
Solicitor-General—Now, Thomas, speak so loud
that my Lord and the Jury may hear you.
Witness-I'll do that, an it like your honours.

Mr. Marshall—Thomas, did you know the de.
ceased Thomas Muir and his wife ?

Witness—Tweel did I that, for how could I
miss when I leeved next neighbour to them.—( Snuff.)
Mr. Marshall—We'll dispense with your remarks,
Sir ; answer the questions simply as they ere put.
Witness—PH do that, an it like your honours;
but ye wouldna' hae me to swear till a thing I wasna
positive about; that's a thing no to be expeckit.
Solicitor-General—Very right, Thomas.
Witness—Na, na, I'm no brought here, I reckon,
to gang on after ony sic fashion, an it like your honours.
Mr. Marshall—This man is perfectly incorrigible;
attend to me,' Sir. Did you: know their daughter ?
Witness—l canna just say that I had precesely
ony particular or yespecial acquantance wi' the young
woman.—(Snuff and twist of the neck.)
Counsel—Do you remember her being married
and leaving Hamilton ?
Witness—l mind her runnin awa wi' a Serjeant
in I-lay's Light Dragoons, an' it like your honours;
but whether she was made an honest woman o' or
no, it's no becoming in me to say, who was an ac-
quaintance o' the family ; but its a thing I could not
be positive about. It's a story aboon fifty year
auld, and I was bit a boy at the time, an' it like
your honours; I could not be positive, it's no a
thing to be looked for; I was bit a boy at the time.
JUDGE—It's impossible to record the answers,
if the witness is permitted to run on at that rate.
Witness—Na, na, it's no a thing to be expeckit
when I was bit a boy at the time; I could not be
positive, for I was bit a boy at the time; it's fifty
years since it happened, an' it like your honours.
—(Nose up, and quaint glance at the audience.)
Counsel—Do you remember the dragoon and his
wife returning to Hamilton ?
Witness—Nae doubt but I mind that, and besides,
they had a laddie with them, a thing to be expeckit
in the course o' nature, an it like your honours.—
(Up nose.)
Counsel—Did you ever hear it said that this
child was a bastard ?

Witness—Never till this business began, when
I was teen afore the Shirra, an like it your
honours, for there was an awfu' stramash in
the Town Council aboot it, but whether the bairn
was a bastard or no, I wull net be positive;
it's a fifty year auld tale, au' I was bit a boy
mysel' at the time, and had nae concern in the be-
getting o' the callant; that was a thing no to be
lookit for, an it like your honours, when I was bit
a boy at the time.—(Nose up.)
The witness was here ordered to withdraw, which
he did by slow and lingering steps, till he reached
the door, when he turned round and stared Mr.
Marshall in the face, with an aspect so idiotic and
ludicrous, that the effect was altogether irresistible ;
even the gravity of the Bench could not withstand
it. After a short pause, he snuffed up tl‘e air with a
singular contortion of countenance, and retired amid
roars of laughter.—Edinburgh Weekly Chronicle.

In the course of last week a letter from the
sister kingdom passed through the General Post-office with
the following curious superscription :—" To James Kil-
looley, London, Piecally-street, No. 2, arid he will give it
to Michael Carney, and from him to Thomas Doogand,
England."

ri,F. MARMOSET,—On my return from the
West Indies, some years ago, during a sudden gale off the
Poridas, a cage suspended over the hatchway, in which a
sailor kept a flirourite marmoset, happened to be violently
thrown down, by which accident the little creature's arm
received a compound fracture. After the squill and con_
fusion had abated, the honest tar brought the little animal
aft to the medicine chest, and earnestly requested the good-
humoured 8011 of iE,culapius to examine hint. The sur-
g, on, with much kind feeling, very tenderly went through
the operation of setting the bone, and, after dressing and
bandaging, a sling was fixed round his neck xecundun4
artern, and the limb carefully suspended. The marmoset
attended with great punctuality every morning at the chest,
and the surgeon went regularly through the motions of
dressing the broken arm. After two or three weeks the
monkey was well, and the bandage taken off. But to the
end of the voyage lie continued to hold his afro to his side,
nor did be once attempt to use it without extreme caution.
His gratitude to his benefautur knew no bounds ; he sea.
dom quitted him during his walks on the quarter-deck ;
when reading in his cabin, he wmdd often Slide in and sit
close by his side; and when the sur&?on left the ship, the
little creature moaned and lamented like
a tkiiild...—
Atliencouno.