The Sun.
London, England, 1863-01-03 00:00:00

COURT CIRCULAR.

OSBORNE, JAN. 2.
The Queen drove out yesterday, accompanied by Princes,
Helena.

Major-General the Hon. A. N. Hood and Colonel the
Hon. A, Hardinge have arrived in waiting on her Majesty,
in succession to Major-General Seymour and Lieutenant-
Colonel Du Plat.

The directors of the Union Bank of Australia
have resolved upon a dividend at the rate of £8 per cent.
for the past half-year.

The Aventre of Naples states that a merchant
of Salerno, called Albano, was carried off a few days
ago by a party of brigands, who informed his wife that she
must pay 200 ducats for his ransom. The poor woman
managed to scrape together 70 ducats and sent them, but
received in return a bit of her husband's ear, with a mes-
sage to the effect that his head would soon follow if the rest
of the sum wore not forthcoming. She then applied to her
friends, and at length succeeded in collecting the re-
maining 130 ducats, upon which her husband was re-
leased.

SAVINGS-BANKS.—From statements laid before
the trustees and directors of the Bradford Savings-
bank at their last annual meeting it appears that the num-
ber and amount of the deposits in the bank are increasing
at a steady rate. Since the opening of the institution, in
1818, about 30,000 persons have made deposits, amounting,
with interest, to £1,165,461, Of this amount £943,492 have
been withdrawn, leaving still due, on 9,472 accounts, the
sum of £221,969, lodged in Government securities, being an
increase during the past year of 138 accounts and of £8,638
in deposits. During the last year 17,667 deposits and re-
payments were made, amounting to £106,963.
WESTMINSTER ABBEY.—The enormous access of
visitors to Westminster Abbey during the past year
having made a thorough cleansing of it necessary, the fol-
lowing arrangements have been made that this may be
effected with the least interruption of Divine service

From January 5, inclusive, to the end of the month, the
usual week-day services will be carried on in Henry Vll.'s
Chapel. On Sunday, the 11th, the south transept, and on
Sunday, the 18th, the north transept will be closed to the
public ; and on Sunday, the 25,h, Divine service will be
entirely suspended.

About the time of those desperate plans against
England on the part of the first Napoleon, which
his nephew has since so candidly revealed, King George
sent for Nelson. The great admiral was consulted upon
the subject of the French designs, and particularly upon
the probable point of the menaced descent. "How will
they come, think ye ?" asked the anxious monarch ; "how
will they come ?" The answer is w3rth remembering, and
has a moral in it. "I don't know, your Majesty," said
Nelson, " how they will come; but I know one thing, and
that is that they shan't come by sea."

CHRISTMAS CONUNDRUMS.—What makes every-
body sick but those who swallow it P—Flattery.
What is the most indigestible supper f—To bolt the street
door just before going to bed. What is the difference be-
tween forms and ceremonies ?—You sit upon forms and
stand upon ceremonies. What is the difference between
Charon's boat and an old hen ?—One is a foul old wherry,
the other a wery old fowl. Why cannot the Emperor
Napoleon insure his life ?—Because no man can make out
his policy. Why is a bishop never likely to eat his apron ?
—Because it goes against his st,mach. If you wish to fatten
a thin baby what should you do with it ?—Throw it out of
the window, and it will come down plump. How should
Love enter the door ?—Always with a ring and never with-
out a rap. Of what gender is the National Anthem?—
Masculine. It is a hymn. What war was Jupiter waging
when he couldn't get his boots on ?—The war with the
Titans. When is a man sick of his children ?—When he is
bringing them up. Why is a fleet always supplied with
fresh eggs ?—Because every captain is obliged to lay to
(two) whenever the Admiral gives an order.—. Riddles by a
Cantab.

ADVERTISING FOR WIVES.—The following extract
is from Artemus Ward's lectures on " The Children
in the W oods ;"—" Advertising for a wife is about as absurd
as getting measured for an umbrella. It is absurd—it is
mean—and I suspect that the most of those follows who
adopt that method of securing domestic bliss ought to ham-
mer stones in some well-regulated penitentiary. Once in a
while, however, there may be a simple-minded but unfor-
tunate young man among these advertisers, and to him the
lecturer would say—Why advertise ? There is probably
some young lady of your acquaintance for whom you have
a certain regard. Why not go to her boldly, and tell her
there is a commodious apartment to let in your heart, with
board. If you get the mitten do not despair, but charge
elsewhere for another mitten. You may as well have a
pair of mittens. One mitten is no possible use. I know a
young man out West who has got mitts enough to go ped-
dling, and he is yet healthy. Don't be bashful, young man.
Don't be like the Young person who rode ten miles in a
sleigh with a pretty girl one bright moonlight night, with
the intention of popping the question, but all he said was,
It is quite mooney to-night.' Yes,' she replied,
‘muchly.' And there was not another word said.' "
American paper.