The Sun.
London, England, 1837-10-14 00:00:00

BLACK MONDAY.

Pettelin—This is the third time I'm put upon this bench.
To think that I can't correct myself—that it should be too
much for me : come, there must be an end put to this.
President—You are accused of theft and assault.

No wonder, Sir, no wonder at all. If you were to say
to me, " Pettelin, you've murdered father, mother, sister,
and brother, and thrown your aunt and cousin out of the
window," I could believe you. I'm capable of anything.
I know I am a thorough scamp.
You seem to be a sad fellow, indeed, according to your
own account.

Not when I'm sober ; oh, no ; then I'm as fair a lad as
any going ; not susceptible of stealing a hair from the cat's
whiskers. But when I drink, oh, then it's all up with me ;
then I'm as arrant a blackguard as ever was whipped.
But, my good man, if you are so well aware of the
danger of intemperance, how come you ever to give way
to it?

It's a weakness of mine. You see, the fact is, on a
Monday one goes to the barriere, one meets a friend, and
one must drink. Now drinking makes a man thirsty, and
then he must quench his thirst. The next thing is, he gets
walla and then he's done for. I've been done twice before
in the same way. This is my third offence. Don't spare
me. Inflict some serious punishment, and perhaps I may
correct myself. Lay it on well, that I mayn't forget it in a
hurry.
The first time you were cond !mned to three months' im-
prisonment, for a violtnt assault on the agents of fie public
force ?

I dare say it was so ; it was on a Monday, I know.
murdc'red a poor gendarme. I'm sure, I wonder he did,
die of it.

Another time you were fifteen days in prison for having
danced in an indecent manner at a public ball ?
Monday again ! I want a warning—pray let me have
one.

To-day you are accused of stealing a cap from a drunken
man, who was lying by the 10 :chide ?
It was a Monday ; oh ! that day's the ruin of me. Will
you oblige ma by letting my witnesses be examined. Here's
an officer who saw me commit the crime. He'll say enough
to entitle me to my condemnation. Officer, come forward,
and tell the truth, and the whole truth.

Municipal Officer—l profess to do so on oath. I was
passing about widni;ht, on Monday last, through the rue
d'Enter, when two steps before me I saw a man in the
gutter, snoring like a bassoon. Well, I went up to him,
intending to transfer bier to thu guardhouse, when I saw
another man coming along—Pcttelin, whom you see before
you.

Pettel:n—Aye, that's right.
Municipal Officer—He stooped, took up the rnan's cap,
and ran off with it.

Pettelin—Bravo!
Municipal Officer—l arrested the criminal, and the co,
pus delicti was found in his hand.
Pettalin—Capitai Didn t I tell you so ?
Municipal Officer—To tell the truth, liovver, the this
was almost as far gone as the other. Pettelin has beel
denounced to me as an honest industrious workman. W

all know that a man-is liable to forget himself when undo;
a spiritual influence. A man but a man ; and when his
hemi is plunged into those sort of things—
Pottelin—Stop, stop! \Vhat are you at now ? Presi-
dent, I hope you have heard enough. I'm an honest man
now, hut I shall become a rogue if I go on as I have done.
So say the word, and don't spare the road and spoil the
child.

President—lf you are sincere in your determination to
correct yourself you will have abundant time for reflection.
The tribunal sentences you to six months' imprisonment.
Pettelin—ls that all ? I shall be brought to the scaf-
fold at last. Let it be a year, Sir ; pray do.
President—The tribunal cannot alter its decision.

Petelin—Then I shall appeal against you—me if I don'

THE YEAR 1837.
The 1837th year of Christ ;
5786th year after the creation of the world according
to Scaliger's computation ; hut the
58415 t year after the creation according to Usserius.
It is the
6550th year of the Julian period ;
2613th s ear of the Olympiad ;
2590th year of the building of Rome ;
5598th year of tho Jewish computation, which begins
with the 17th of September ;
1252 d year after the Hegira, which commences on
on the 11th of April.
7345th year according to the modern Greek calendar :
771st year of the commencement of the Norman
line in England ;
683 d year since the conquest of Ireland by England ;
673 d year of the Plantagenet line ;
438th year of the line of Lancaster ;
376th year of the line of York ;
352 d year of the Tudor line ;
320th year since the reformation of Luther ;
212th year of the Stuart line ;
123 d year since the accession of the House of

Brunswick ;
Ist year of our Sovereign Queen Victoria.

LONG NOSES.—Napoleon used to say, " Strange
[ as it may appear, when I want any good head work done,
I choose a man, provided his education has been suitable,
with a long nose. His breathing is bold and free, and his
brain, as well as his lungs and heart, cool and clear. In
my observations of men, I have almost invariably found a
long nose and a long head go together."
GREENOCK.—The following case has excited con-
siderable interest in Falkirk :—An old man named Gil.
christ, belonging to Kippen, arrived there on Saturday
se'nnight, on his way to Edinburgh to make some arrange-
ments about some litigated process. He seemed very unwell,
and was directed to a lodging-house in the west end of the
town, and on Sabbath he died. His host applied to the
Poors' Committee for a coffin, and lodged several papers,
from which it appeared he was a man of some respectability,
and he was furnished with a covered coffin, and on the
Monday evening he was buried. The Procurator-Fiscal
previously ordered a post mortens examination, from which
it appeared his death was natural. Shortly after, the land-
lady's son, well known by the name of Queenie, called at the
Bank of Scotland's Office, for change of a 201. note, and
with another a short time after. The banker's suspicions
were excited, as robberies of a very extensive nature were
effected at last tryst, and intimation of the circumstance
was given to the Fiscal, when the lodging-house was
searched, and 35/. found in the drawers. Mr. Gilchrist's
friends were written to, and his wife came on Thursday,
when the body was exhumed, and identified by her as that
of her late husband. Queenie is in prison, and the matter
will undergo judicial investigation.—Advertiser.
AN ODD .FISH.—A Cuttle-fish was caught in the
Old Dock, on Thursday last. This singular creature, be-
lieved to be the first of its specie ever caught in the Clyde,
has eight arms or claws furnished on the interior side with
little round serrated caps, by the contraction of which the
animal lays fast hold on anything that comes in its way.
Besides these eight arms it has two tentacula, four times
larger than the preceding, and also pendunculated. When,
:be suckers adhere to anything it is very difficult to loosen
their' hold. The mouth is situated in the centre, and is
horny, a.nd hooked like the bill of a parrot. It is so strong
that the arimal can break to pieces the shells of lampets and
other marine testacea, on which it feeds. The eyes are
surrounded with silvery rings, and are very large. The
body is enveloped in a cartilaginous substance, resem-
bling in shape the sheath used by butchers to hold their
knives. This creature has a power of squirting out a
black liquor, by which the water becomes as black as ink,
and thus baffles the pursuit of its enemies ; the liquid is
used by the Chinese in the composition of their ink. In
hot climates this fish is found of an enormous size. When
the Indians navigate their little canoes they go in dread of
them, and lest these animals should fling their arms over
them, and draw them under the water, they never fail to
have an axe to cut them off.—Greenock Advertiser.

SHAKSPEARE, GARRICK, AND JOHNSON.—One
of the most savage things ever uttered .by Johnson, was
to his old pupil and friend, Garrick. " Now I have quitted
the theatre," said the latter, " I will sit down and review
Sbakspeare. " 'Tis time you should," exclaimed Johnson,
" for I much doubt if you ever examined one of his plays,
from the first scene to the last."

Between six and seven o'clock on Wednesday even-
ing, as a gentleman named Baker, residing at Dalston, was
driving a lady and her child in a pony-phaeton down Dal-
ston-lane, he perceived a gentleman on horseback, who was
evidently much intoxicateO, riding towards him, at a most
furious rate, from the opposite direction. Before ho had
time to tura aside, the horse completely rode down the
phaeton, and the whole party were thrown into the road.
The lady was dreadfully bruised, and one of her eyes was
nearly cut out, but Mr. Baker and the child almost miracu-
lously escaped uninjured. Singularly enough, the son of
the injured lady (Mr. Coster, a stockbroker) had only a
few minutes before helped to re-mount the tipsy gentleman
on his horse, from which he had been thrown, after unsuc-
cessfully trying to persuade him to put it up at an adjoin-
ing, stable. Proceedings are about to be taken against the
party, whose name and addresp were taken.