The British Press; or, Morning Literary Advertiser.
London, England, 1814-07-08 00:00:00

NAV.IL EXPALPIRDIN,I(44

Great activity has been lately ol.served in the
correspoudence between the Admiralty and the
grand fleet in the Serpentine. It wax reported
that* the enemy had coatriveil to introduee the
torpedo into it, and the whole would be blown n'
without a monic.:lt's notice. We are happy, how-
ever, to state, that this, and many other rumours
threateuing the ruin of the country, are all ersti-
tate of foundation. Cause of alarm there eertkinly
is, bat it is quite the reverse of every thin
rested in these idle rumours. It appears that one
of the Maids of Honour, on consulting the weather-
glass, has given it as her decided opinion that the
pre rent fine weather will lest for a mouth to come,
awl this opinion is corroborated by experience,
which hityin7 proved that the F. tnperor of Hussy A, ill
his late visit ta, thi. con ,itry, beoa4ht owa " ffiz,ht.
Gil climate" along with him, it fellows, that his Loh e
rash ._
having left this country, has cari,d
it ha-.c. anti left us to a perfect state of calm alai
tramieillity. Should this oirservatiou on the ;epprauch„,
in;.; weather prove correct, it is obvious that it mug
totally defeat all the operations of the Grand Fleet
in the Serpentine. Without wind, they l'3ll du
uothing. They 1111111G1 tack, sail, or praetife
sissy manoeuvre whatever. There they inn,t ha
motionless, like the dead cats and dogs, tee eel n
births they have sitemeled. A letter, co.it.e!:ii.z

sa occotost of this difficulty, thus 5a,A.:64,11 Iv

ticipated by the Maid of Honour, was on 'ritesl;
dispatched from Windsor by a hobby groom, and
immediately taken into consideration. After the
breaking up of the Board, communication hs•
telegraph was held, duri g two hours, a itli the
Royal Observatory at Greenwich, the lairtieu.
!ars of which hate not transpired ; but it is su .
posed thut the Royal Astronomer hays been mu-
stilted upon this subject, and that his' mart
coafirins the opinion of the Maid of Moran. lit
Windsor. We forgot to notice, that the Mid of
I o nou r not only consulted the weather glass, but the
Aloon, alias Diana, the Goddess of Chaqity, tual
the natural patroness of all Maids of Honour; slid
that the ?loon and the weather-glass are perfectly
unanimous upon the question. The couelu-iidi
then, being, that we are to be visited with A nn rn6

of fine, fair, calm weather, and this miturn!
the elements being unfavourable to a s•a fiAlit, it
is proposed to have recourse to art, to supply the
defieien:•p of nature—the Prince Regent laint! rt.
soiled to have a breere, if not a good strong wind,
mid a sea fight, cost what it may.
In this extremity, the Chancellor of the Ezell-
Auer has been applied to, a report having gel:e
at,road that the Right Hon. Gentleman could rase
.the wind; but he declared that he has exhamtul
his whole 'And: in trade, and had not a single pt if
remaining.

It was next suggested, that the Admiral of tl e
fleet himself, on board the Redpole, could t:o
something in that way; but his Lordship prott-ls
he is so completely exhausted with watchieg 11. e
royal and imperial foreign sail, lately cruising in
this quarter, lie is run entire(' out of
Disappointed here, the Agents of Govenimeot rq -
plied to the Prime Minister, the Earl of Liverrocl.
They had heard a report that his Lordship wog hi
possession of a huge pair of bellows,
well applied, would be able to blow up the
Serpentine, and produce a terrible roar.
His Lordship received the Deputation with fill
the urbanity of a great Statesman, but latuentid
that he could not gratify the Royal wish, his Loa!-
ship not having any bellows, but those which blid
been in the family for several years. On inquiry,
his Lordship's answer was found perfectly corm t.
and that the report of his having got un enormous
pair of bellows, originated in a casual observatioa
by a gentleman, who happened to be in the Hotee
of Peers when his Lordship lately made a speecli,
eulogising the Treaty with France.
In this extremity, recourse was had to 3rr.
Croker. The Learned Gentleman said, as a poet,
he, of course, dealt largely in, fiction, and would
produce a sham fight, with pleasure, at the shoe -
est notice. But, iu reply, he was told, this
not du: it must be a true Ntsuntachia—a raid
fight. The Learned Gentleman then su:A,s•-
ed, that, in such case, a quo:tans 'slid/ of iridi
whiskey thrown into the Serpentine, care beii:g
taken to have a proper number of high seainea us
board, might answer the purpose; he had known
this plan resorted to frequently in Ireland, and never
found that it failed of success. To this it was ob-
jected, that such a mixture might lead to drunker-
ness, and destroy the discipline of the Fleet, and
that nothing short of a real proper triad wou!d a:
swer the hopes and expectations of the Projector.
To attain this object, Mr. Croker has accordiogly
RI about it with all his might—and those be,t
acquainted with his ingenuity flatter themselvti
that he will not labour in vain.—A country
schoolmaster has suggested to him the story of
Ulysses, who kept all the winds in a bag. awl
to find out that bag is now the object of his
most diligent researein Yesterday he was seen in
the petty bag office in the Court of Chancery, but
the whole petty hag would not contain wind enough
to fill a single sail. What other bags may be in
that quarter, of which the Learned Gentleman may
have been in search, it is impossible to form any
conjecture.

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