The British Press; or, Morning Literary Advertiser.
London, England, 1824-09-24 00:00:00

MOTT PUNS.

A Dublin Taper gives the folloWing choice sprcimens of
'lrish puns:—
" While the late celebrated Doctor Cyril Jackeon was
Dean of Christ Church, Oxford, the conversation turned
after dinner, at his table, on a plan of taxing the funds,
which "Mr.'Pitt was then said by smile to have in 'contem-
plation. The Dean, in the course of the conversation,
turning to a Tout* gentleman-commoner who dined with
himotaid is a ;dicing way, " IVell, Mr. —, what do yen
shirk of this plan of taxing funded property ? " I think,
Sir,' replied the other, theft is classical authority for it ;
qiesfesaque ilfund:s acescit' (in fund is, assess it.) We
will not say'who the person was that made this answer
butt we will say, that, whatever coincidence of rank and
Initials there may be, it was not Sir Walter Seol.—One
pleasantry reminds us, by association, of another. Many
jean ago, just as a learned Judge bad closed 'his charge
to a Grand Jury, an ass began to bray within hearing of
the Court: when a Barrister sarcastically whispered to his
next neighbour, ' What an extraordinary echo there is in
this Court.' This sarcasm reached the cars of the Judge,
who bore it with his accustomed good temper, but did not
diseharg it froth his memory. Years after, while the person
whom the sarcasm had been attributed, was addressing the
Court, by a whimsical coincidence an ass was heard to bray ;
when the witty, noble, • :d well-tempered Judge exclaimed
tith affected gravity, 'gentlemen, this is quite irregular :
one at a time, and I will hear you both.'-IVill our read-
ers tolerate another pleasantry ?--though we have a float-
ing notion that we recorded it when it occurred. l'he
merits of aph a came before one of our superior Courts,
and, in the course of the discussion, received some of what
are called hard knocks. The gentleman who had drawn
it, good-humouredly said in ita excuse, that he had not
had tithe for giving it flinch consideration. • The time for
pleading,' said he, was just out ; and I remember I drew
it in less than ten minutes, my Lords, leaning against that
paler yonder.' Accordingly,' replied one of the Judget,
it is a capital plea ; our objection is, that it is a Lax de-
fence ; and this is not the fault of the pleader, but of his
instructor.' Fhis pun smacks, as we humbly conceive, of
a Court z:lebrated for its pleasantry ; it issued, however,
from another Bench; though from which of the Puisue
Barons it proceeded, we leave undisclosed.
" We thought that we had done P • but we crave the
reader's indulgence of our desire to add one anecdote more.
In the year 11b7, when the political economy and maxims
of revolutionary France were more in fashion than they arc
at present, a young English Nobleman, the eldest son and
heir appateut of one of considerable rank, declaimed at
considerable length, at the table of the then Lord Lieu-
tenant, Lord Camden, against the rights of primogeniture.
When this disittlerrsted dissertation had closed, his Excel-
Imey, turning to the Bishop of Elphin (Doctor Law),
!qtyl him what he thought of the abolition of the rights of
1'1! and substitution of filial equality. I think,
41), i1a.2;4- vluld be a bad system,' was the Bishop's
reply, erei'v great family we then might have ten
rating coscombi ittitead of one.'—This was uttered in the
llishopes loud voice and broad accent—;saute... ," &c.

DiSTaeCTICF Fi r .—We br'ielv stated in our last, that
a large timber-yard belonging to Mr. Loader, was yester-
i!ay inoruinm" destroyed by fire, in Tabernacle-walk, near
City-road. ilre subjoin the following particulars from
gentleman of the neighbourhood:—At twtnty minutes
past twelve, he was alarmed hy the watchmois rattles,
Ina calls of 4. Firer' but they could not tell where. He
tlitcovercid that it was in tile back premises of Mr. Loader,
50 extensive mahogany merchant and cabinet-maker, and
on breaking open the front-door they found one of the
workshops in a blaze. It was nearly two hours before the
'11;104 arrived. The parish engines carne first, but for
threc-cinsrwrs of an hour they could not act, for want of
.."iitef- There was none in the main pipes. This mis-
ntieneoccasioned great confusion. Could water have been
1:,21 to time, half the property might have been preserved.
.1!le fire rapidly communicated to the other shops, and the
"lode yard was in one terrific blaze, illumining the horizon
for a considerable distance. The rain fell pretty heavily at
two o'clock, but the adjoining premises of Mr. Griffiths
(laiithit timber-yard) unfortunately lay in the direction
cal r:1111, which blew the flames with great fury on a
sack of ;rood. The engines not: arrived, and there
'ls a o,r.tifill supply of water. By the great exertions of
it!te.lireinen the stack was partly preserved, and the fire was
t:norly subdued after four o'clock. There was nearly
''40.01.
worth of property destroyed or damaged, 3,0001. of
is only insured. Upwards of 1,0001. worth of plate
'a"t has been destroyed. No accident occurred, with the
ielition of an old lady, who received such a violent shockto be carried ont of Mr. Loader's (her son) house, in a
tite of insensibility which threat..ns her life. Mr. Loader
u from home on business.

GERMAN PAPERS.

We have receive.], rann Frankfort, papers to the 16th
; and, from flruiteir, to the 94:h inst. The follow-
ing are extracts :

SEPT. 12.

We hare recrived y news front;'onstantinople of the 17th
Augaist. which are therefore ■ week loi;:r than thew, published by
the elastrian (Menu. in its number of the atii of this month. At
the above-mentioned date the Capitan Paella had not mate any at-
tempt upon Santos, or if he had the result was not known at Con.
stantinople; but it appears certain that the Admiral has been un.
der the disagreeable necessity of deferring his expedition, locesitse
the Asiatic troops assembled at Scala Nuora. who were to be em-
ployed in the landing on Samos, have mutinied. their leaders hav-
ing devises:a that they would not join in any expedition against the
islands of the Archipelago. The Ottoman Government considers
this event as so serious, t' at it has sent to Scala Noma the corps
which has been long encamped near Scutari. to reduee the mutineers
to order. All these circumstances render the situation of the Capi-
ta?' Pacha very critical:, since the execution of the orders of the
Sultan to nttsck Samos is thus deretreit
News has been received in the Turkish capital that,the famous
Canaria has sailed with a strong division of the (Ireek fleet, and a
Doat many fire.sliips, wisha view to born the Beet of the Capitals
acha. 'tat this will Le a difficult task. the Commanders of Ole
Turttish vessels having taken every precootion to secure themselves
against the tire.sliips. They have English sailors on board, whom
they are said to Lace obtained through the intervention of Lord
Strangford.
The Sinymean conta-.ns some partirulars relative to the taking of
Ipsara by the Turks, which are said to have been furnished by a
I u4sulrnan, who was an eye-witness of this event. According to
this account, the liwariots behaved wish great courage. The Turks
estimate that 3,700 or 4,0 M men perished by the ekplosion of fort
:undo. _ _

Fn•xsvote... SEPT. IS.
Ilia Royal nightie,. the Cron Print* of Bavaria reviewed on
the Mit. the Rat:lrian troop.. assembled near Nuremberg. The
whole corps was drawn up in a large square, with two altars for the
Protestants and Catholics. A suitable discourse on the moral and
religious qualities of "the Christiin soldier was delivereil by the
Rev. M. Hick, a Protestant Clergyman. After this, :,la.a was per..
formed, and all the troops then bled of before his Royal Iltifbnee..
The weather being very fine, an immense concourse of people was
present. The evolutions were to CODtilltlC three days.
SErv. 21.
It has lacent•nown for some time thit %lire wos an intention of
opening commercial negociations heti...ern the Netherlands and
}ranee. and it ass even said that the 4w on the customs presented
to the Chamber of Deputies in Prance had been withdrawn, in
consequence of the first communication between the two Govern.
ments. Our Government now annedince the departure of :11. Von.
derfoute, Governor of Hainaut, for Paris, with a special mission
from our Government, to negociate a treaty of romancer.