The British Press; or, Morning Literary Advertiser.
London, England, 1826-07-13 00:00:00

TILE BRITISH PRESS.

When he (Mr. II.)
and likewise reitised to procure a substitute.
had called on him to be sworn in, lie declined,
111 r. Titchenor, who happens to he not much more than four foot
and a half high, and is in every other respect merely the " minia-
ture of manhood," very pleasantly remarked, that unless alvllarle
(who is in the very contrary extreme) could lend hint a little of
his. bulk, it would be nonsense for him to enter the constabulary
office. "I am sure. your Worship," said the little man, " any
person whit looks at me, will admit that 1 would make a very in-
significant igure in the chair of state."
31r. Rongns—Why I should think they might have selected a
more proper man, but at the same time I think you are bound to
procure a substitute, if you do not choose to act yourself.
Mr. Ilarle—The name having been returned to me, I am bound,
in virtue of my office, to see that the public business is not ne-
glected.
Mr. Titchenor—But surely if I am not equal to the duty of the
situation, the law cannot compel me to perform it.
31r. Roca:as—You should have objected to the appointment
before the Court sat, but your name having been returned, the
high constable mutt necessarily look to you for the performance
or the duties annexed to the °Thee, unless you choose to procure a

substitute.
Titettenar—Then I have no alternative but to be sworn
for my circumstances do not enable me to pay another to act

fur me.
The etritornary oath was then adminietmed by Mr. Mallet, the
chief clerk, Riad the little man left the office•headbotough against
his will.

111.4hALDOROUGH'JeTRICET.
THE 1301-DISATI4 LARY BARRYKOREM—The notorious, it
cannot be said celebrated .tfiwy .loa Proem, was brought up from
St. Giles's watch-house, as one of those disuttlerlics who roam at
the canonical hour, " seeking whom lire may devour," while the
generality of the world's creation are reporting in the anus of
pileup. Haw many times she had paid her obeisance to the chair
shaded by the arms of
,Itoyalty it WAS tliflicrult to ascertain with pre-
cision. At all events, she wan an old acquaintance of 31r. Dyer,
the Magistrate, wan very familiar to Plank, and seemed perfectly
"at home" with Marsden, the gaoler. Few of us improve in per-
son
as we advance in years. and those who knew Mary Ann in
lOW, might easily be deceived in the 'Prim e& of Mary Ann in
1826. Still she is the same now as ten years ago--always furious,
ungovernable, and iri:elicate in the eXtrfa7lC—the counterpart of
nothing in nature. cite would think her sari gcnerls. It is hardly
possible to believe tin:lb-aught of human .form produced so aban-
doned, so dreadful a progeny. To a mind that better society has
at some period softened the asperities of innate disposition, she has
added the excess of vulgarity and bestial Expression, NA blonde
them both in the same phrase. It was impossible to bring hot to
the office through the streets ; she thrown herself on cis Rags,
seizes the wait, sad kick.. at all around her, regardless of thit.l6-
posure of her persoo, and the injury of limb and life of those who
attt mot her removal. 'therefore it was necessary to bring her in a
coach, followed by no ortiinary number of the curious, to get a
glaace at " her Ladyship." When she alighted, with a look of
the most imfrable contempt, and a theatrical expat.sion of the aims,
she exclaimed—
.

.....
'What's all this hustle I see?
What's all the b— world to me ?
and, driving the by-standem to the right and left, forced her way
into the hall. She was very orderly when first placed at the bar.
William Keen, a watchman of St. Giles s, stated that the pri-
soner was on his brat at twelve o'clock on Tuesday night, in High.
street, la having in a riotous and di/orderly manner, disturbing
the ;thole neighbourhood by her outrageous conduct. As she
would not move away on civilly asking her, be took het into cue-
tdy, and placed her in the watch.house.
Mr. DYER—What have you to my ?
Prisoner—Say ! I have nothing to say. The public papers
always have enough to say dine. What have they to do wieb roe?
'Tis I that suffers. I have done nothing.
Mr. I)ui:a—Vou are charged with collecting a disorderly mob.
Keen.—Your Worship, there wertt about fifty persons
Prisoner—That's false.

Mr. DYER—WeII, you must find bail.
Prisoner—Find bail. Yes, I'll find bail. Send for a coach.
You shall not lock aces up. by (i.—! A b—dy vengeance on you!
You lock me up ! There's the poblic press at work now.
If there's a hole in a' your coats,
I rede you tent It,
A chield's among you taking note%
What have I done to them, that an ray actions should be watched ?
The robbers, they have robbed me of my good name—
Robbed me of that which not enricheth them,
But makes me poor indeed.
Send to Sir Richard Birnie; he'll give memoney. I can get ma.
ney. You lock me up ! You shall not. I'll have a coach.
The expression had scarcely passed her lips ere her slipper wis
directed at the uncovered head of Mr. Dyer, who, seeing the flight
of the missile, stooped to save his cranium, and smiled at the twit-
less effort. In an instant she was surrounded by the constables,
three of whom it took to hold her within the bar, she raving
" Plank, Plank ! come to toe, Mr. Plank !"
.. and on his half
promise that se.e.was Retie go to gwelashs wasessoweed quietly to
the hall ; but when turned into theravenue leading to the lock-up,
her fury broke forth in recoil. cation o' the passages.- She sum.
mooed her fortitude in the last resort, kicked, enure, smashed the
windows in her course, and cut her hand with the glass.
A Mr. William James was fined five shillings for waking the
watchmen in Carey-street, Lincoln's Inn-fields, by going up to
1 their boxes, shouting " Bow, wow, wow !"
Harriet Daren,oort was brought up to account for possession of
twenty-one Britannia-metal table-spoons.
The ennstahle stated that he saw her offer two table-spoons for
sonic Windsor beans, which the man with the donkey took, and
turned the beans into her ipron. Seeing the spoons glisten, he sun.
peered them to be 'lily' r ; went to the costemionger, and desired to
see them. He then told the man to return the spoons, and get his
beans back, as he should apprehend her. The man did so, and on
going-Cu question the priseuer, he knocked against something under
her anti which jinked, and found the twenty-one spoons. Site told
witness that her husband was a waiter at Mr. Dunning s, the Royal
Hotel, in St. James's.atreet, and that his master had given them
to her husband in part payment of a debt of 20/. The constable
said he had inquired at all the hotels in St. James s-street, and at
none was the prisoner known.
Mr. DYER told the prisoner her story was very improbable, and
reminded her that she had heel at that Office two or three times.
Prisoner—No, your Worship, indeed only once; the last time
was for a little bit of a row, not a felony; I only went for ten days.
The prisoner was remanded.
UNION-HALL.
Yesterday Mr. Samuel Diana, the Common Councilman, was
brought up to this office, under the authority of a warrant, charging
Min with asaaulting one of Ida neighbours, a Mr. Burnley, resid-
ing in the Walworth.rosd. Previous to the investigation of the
Gale, the defendant applied to have it postponed, in order that he
sleight have the advantage of the attendance of his professional ad-
visers, as the circumstance* that led to the assault were of such a
nature as to require the aid of a solicitor to develop the whole of
the facts. The complainant and his witness were, however, in at-
tendance, and the Magistrate (teeniest, as it was a mere assault case,
that it should he entered into at once.
The complainant was then sworn. Ile stated that lie was a
cheeaentoager, residing within a very few doors of Mr. Dixon's
house ; that on Saturday afternoon, while lie was attending. to the
customers in his shop, the defendant came in, and advancing to.
wards the counter, commenced abusing one of ths. apprentice'',
threatening, in loud language, to annihilate the lad, in the event of
his not disclosing the names and pierce of abode of three other
youths, by whom. it appeared, Mr. Dixon had been annoyed. The
apprentice repeatedly told the defendant that he could not give him
the information he required, when the latter became still more vo-
ciferous. and the noise and disturbance occasioned by his clamour
collected a group of pawns round the door, and impeded the bu-
siness of the shop. At this juncture compleinant interfered, re-
questing Mr. Dixon sit e to quit his shop, or to discontinue the
uproot he was making. jr. Dixon, however, refused to listen to
any remonstrance for tranquillity, and when he (complainant) ad-
vanced towards him for dturpose of insisting on his leaving the
shop, Mr. Dixon douldelltis fist and struck him a blow in the
face, saying, " There, tan* that facer now, how did you like it? I
am an old man and you are a young one, but for all that I think I
Omuta be able to lick you." Mr. Burnley said that Mr. Dixon
then threw himself into a posture for fighting, and actually wanted
him to have a " turn up" id his own shop before all the customers
and the crowd that were lathered outside the door. The challenge,
however, was refused, the complaitiant ittforming Mr. Dixon, who
then left the shop, that he Ithould have other satisfactipn than hay.
iug a " set-to" with a men so well skilled in the fink art. Mr.
Burnley forthwith lodged his complaint against the defendant, and
procured the warren' for ibilassiult.
The apprentice whom tbe.4efendant first addressed when lie en-
tered Mr. Burnley's shop, was called, and he corroborated his
master's testimony with rigard to the assault and the language
used by Mr. Dixon.
Mr. Dixon said that he was most anxious that the case should
go Into another court.
The Magistrate—Mr. Dixon, the assauh has been proved, and
you will have an opportunity of having your wish gratified ; it
shall go to the Sessions.
Mr. Dixon , proceeded tq lament the absence Of his attorney,
and camplained loudly of the annoyance and interruption
which he And his famil were continually exposed to by 4
set of disorderly boys, vi • were a great nuisance to the neigh-
bourhood. Ha had' m walked into Mr. Burnley's shop
n
for the purpose of asc lag the names of three of these
young scamps from the apgr entice, who was well acquainted with
them. He had scarcely tale the itiqttiry when he was grossly in-
sulted by the person front "horn he wanted the information, sod
ultimately, he might wAy ,acooulied by Mr. Burnley, who took his
arm with the intention of'turning him out into the street. Mr.
Dixon denied Wiring asaaubed the complainant in the manner de.
scribed.
Magistrate-1 shall require bail, Mr. Dixon ; have you any per-
sous in attendance to become your sureties?
Mr. Dixon—l have no Mend at present with me, and I hope
you will allow me some tines in procure two friends to answer for
my appearance. ...
Magistrate—You muelenOge that with the complainant, as it
must meet with his sanction.
Mr. Rizon here addressing the complainant, said, Mr. Burnley,
r
I hope you will agree to m request. You know I have been two
and forty years in my p t house, therefore must be conscious
that I shall net ND away.
It was ultimately 'maned that the defendant should put in
ball on Friday neat, tO ant the charge at the Sessions.