The British Press; or, Morning Literary Advertiser.
London, England, 1804-10-04 00:00:00

SHAM FIGHT.

' As military Slowestle: are the order of the day,
she dukarard Spiid of TUC MORYING CHRONIC Lc,
and the Light Company of Tate Moartino Posr As-
eoci 41'1014 lately agreed to have a grand field day
and Sham Fight twice or thrice a week, to attract the

public eye, and save them from that state of oblivion
which generally attends an useless and inActive life.
The following articles for the conduct of this li-
terary warfare were matualAT agreed to, and signed
by the drill serjeants of if IPespective corps :
No ►ullets to be fired on eitheis side but paper ander, eve.,
La the brat of the anoat furious baghlt.
The Aakeer•d Strad will be allowed go ekar!;e their elver-
say with Pitt's g di, Training infloricc, venality, and c,r.
naption.'
The MOANING POST Associ avant Light Company to
large their adversary with dullness, jacobluism, petulance,
aibd slander.
To prevent accidents, all st•arp and edg'sl weapons are mutu-
ally prohibited. The paragraphs on u,,th :ides must, therefore,
be without year, and the epgrawis without a tail.
• To supply the absence of cannon and great guns, a few pis
sod paw may be elpiedrd
Tria Aukward Squad to represent the French, the Light
Company of Tull Vest the English.
These rules being communicated to the respeElive
corps, all has been bustle and confusion for several
days past at their drill grounds, opposite to each
other, in the Strand. Neither tense, time, nor con-
cord, have been regarded. All the letters in the
alphabet have been put in requisition. No man's
can has been allowed as an exception ; even the
premtwe have turned Volunteers, and the printer's
derds, catd.ing the mania, swore that their Captain
is the very ivpc of an ia,•ro.
On Man.:ay night the following official order
was isst:ed to the Av K WARD Squao :
GENERAL ORDERS.

Heal Quarters, Morning Clironiele Office, Strand.
There wll be a Gravel Feld Day and Sham Pignt
TOW, upon Waste Paper C..munon. Doe notice will be gisen
es the hour, by the music of the hire
Colonel requite this attendance of all the Members,
'swell ini...111 as houawy as well a., regularly
They are to hare titc;r :.aversacks filled with pens and paper,
and their ea.ftzcits well supplied with
Every Member who can and it, is requested to supply
hineteW with a blanket, a night-cap, and a pair of shoes.
Breeches will be dis,iented witn, as the squad will represent the
/Bodo. el at 41.
Arrived upon the ground, the Corps will take open order,
and Are in CO:anall S.
Neither wit, sense, nor juigusent, tats, fine., nor talent.,
evil!, upon any ac.munt, be admitted within the nom"
Tuesday morning the wayward spild matched, in
pursuance of the said order, at an early hour,
and took their station upon Waste Paper Common,
in the Strand, the intended field of battle. To theirs
beat astonishment, however, a dead silence pre-
vailed in the enemy's camp. You might bear a
mouse moving.
Our readers have probably heard of the eneoun •
ter between 11.3 Qiixote and the TV ,dim('. As to
the story of Ajar slaying a /irk of sb:rp, in
mistake fur the Trljox army, every schoolboy has
it at his finger ends. The leader of the sok we,d
aorta (we wish to pay him every compliment) was
as bold as Ajar, and as adventurous as Don Quixote.
His head being a little crack.2d with learning. and
his irnag'wition strongly heated by friction and
• with some thick-skulled adversartes, it
immediately sugge.i-Qd itself to his disordered fancy,
that the still state of the enemy, whom he expesied
to find drawn up in battle array, was a rap• ek
raerre, an attempt to draw him into an amt ush.
tdasqued batteries, mines and counter mine:, ae-
,cordingly presented themselves to his view. While
his troops were contemplating the vacancy before
them, their Commander stood forth, sad thus ad-
dressed them, in the true style of an an:lent Gesset.d:
C0,464./i ten. Pfelftelen, 4.1.1 Cirboya, sty
boJoe and 6.411 amt C. ,ipotoo d.sii,
That as ir4 (pointing to Da 11.ou.rog Pit,, °1.e..) may appear
to your vulgar mess a brairft space, wirhin x i..t
rely reducible to a.hei by a few ; bnt do not
dative yoorsolses, I tell you it as a mo-t fri,m4able fortress.
Behold that figure within the deadly r You may
limey him a Swims, or some Grub Strad Meretr.ary •. No such
thing Tnat is Mr. P*r Ismael, or ono of his or la.& ramp,
armed erp-a pia. I know him well by 7 hu mover it ties
Mules, his martial mien. Hs is my dearly foe, and the
taltawe el spsd of nu Coot.ic it hoarse again with calling
him car battle. Therefore, mote ready, prucd. fire In ..n
Instant the Irate.. matter discharged from three of the
switeenl staid 'tine ed this su,i,>o,erl the Cinque
hits to ph.c.e.
" Eljleet iajens it low* reasariii
" Ti: Imze tar S 4. d
The fire not being returned, 4...W4'i Spa
marched away in triumph to the tug: 61 the Mars.
leas oug.
Upon ittsp.!aion of tlle dead beds-, the supposed
Ct‘ncl proved to be n.)thing more than a portrait
tIGUY Fars, which had been carried in nrocessioo
at the last anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot.
The Commander tel the Light f;.,. [peso,. of Tete
Posy, who, we must admit, was the challenger upon
the occasion, yesterday issued the following Proda.
• See The Mends% Chn.rw.e of TuaoeAf.

mation, in answer to this insolent bravado of the
AUKWARD SQUAD :
Head Quarters, Morning Port OfFoc, 0.... 1.
THE COMMANDER IN CIIICI TO THE ARMY.
Brune Conscripts,

In contempt of a solemn convention, stipulating for only a
slisinfight, to attract notice, and gull the public credulity, tne
Commander of the &Award visa, on Tuesday last, made a se•
rises attack upon our camp, in which he broke Prig-ion's he,tl ire
many places, and threw all our limes into confusion. Being of a
peaceable and passive temper, and anxious to save the /*wise
of intricent ink, I strictly command, that yeu shall not attempt
to make reprisals, er in any mode revenge this most wilful and
wicked aggression.—Themselves the slaves of a party, they
have no idea of isheding, and the various other manoeuvres hi
which the army I have the honour to command am so well
practised.—kttsched to no side, you should consider your-
selves pure Ss is. The supporters of freedom should them-
selves he free. Wishing to inculcate this principle, and proud
of our indepeuclenre, I order that you shall forget this insult,
and leave tne Commander of the diukteord Squad to pursue
his iliberal and printout course, as I mean irnmedottely to draw
off me forces, amid use your services in " eke war with Srli,t I ."
This Proclamation being read at the head of the
corps, the troops gave three cheers, and swore
they had no ohjeetion to .1 teach the Spanish."
The speaators, who were very numerous, then dis-
persed, observing, that they never saw so com-
plete a siSani fight, and so much snide, with so
little fire.

See The Mn Rim: rot of yesterday, containing the origins!,
of which this Proclamation i., we pledge citirselvedo a true copy.

GUILDHALL.

ELECTION OF 1 LORI/ MkYOR
At the close of the Poll. yesterd ty, the numbers
stood as follows :
For Mr A .I.rman P..rch.ird . . . 1461
Mr 114C1,11J1 tin ,w
Mr. &matt Pi,Ker
The Co.irt nas thin Adj,)urned to this morning at
nine o'clock.