The British Press; or, Morning Literary Advertiser.
London, England, 1826-10-02 00:00:00

THE GREENWICH PENSIONER.

[Frier the MonAN and Emenirrart jlegazine.l
A Greenwich pensioner! Hill any of my timers ever yonder on
out strange co.t.pcmition of battened humanity end blue serge?
0.1 they iv sir feel a something approaching very near gratitude
pasting in the tee roped is al erten* ie it pentsinner, w ins is hi: ills limiest,
envo i-init. uttenashed front, looks in bluntly and as wonderingly
et the 'rode a• d 'splendour around him, as does so unsophinti.
odd welter suddenly removed from south Downs to ilteapsisle,
whilst shaking his wool' n coat beneath the whip of the coachman
pi •de Lord :Mayor. What a inicture of gravity and wonderment
is in die poor brute's countenance; how, with its meek uplifted
head, at stare' at the effulgent vehicle—runs leaping at ilw coach.
wheels. nhateking them for hurdles—falls, awemtruck, back, at the
ill! and (wavered greatness of the footman's cocked-hat—then
au hleely awakened from its monument by the !welter's teeth or
tee driver's sfelt. makes an wilucky spring of some three f,et into
tre air, ceche" a elinee of its figure in the mirrored walls of a
atik.mercer'e, and. worded at the sight, dashes through the first
our., earryit g. perhaps, a few yards aeon its back, sonar red-faced
nankeen.gaitered little stock-broker. whom spattered etnallclothee
are for a time unregarded in the mighty rush of drovers, butcbets,
bp, and idlers.
Naw such is the real Greenwich pensioner. When I say real, i
ffV3'l one who abhors London worse than he does a Frenchman;
who thinks there is nothing to he seen in it, unless, indeed, it be
Nelson's tomb, in St. Paul's, or the Ship public-house in Tuoley-
street. London is to hint a never-failing source of merriment ; that
u. whilst he is out of it. Ile ails at Greenwich, and looking as
,A4ely as a starling. ere he snaps at a fly, at the piled up clouds of
pnoke hanging over the we. Tamil., or indeed almost propped upon
it, chimney-pies, and, stretching forth his stick, significantly points
ththi out to his farmer shipmates, asking them if they do not this.k
oti etc ts .oniethine dark over there—something of an • ore-eye to
the pest?" Ile. indeed, never ventures to London, unless it be for
a fresh supply of tohseco, or to pay a quarterly visit to his grand.
4Aughter, the tipper housemaid in a gentleman's flintily. and who, in.
deal. thinks whit horror upon his call, because the neighbours laugh
at the cocked-hat anti the shoe.bitekkei of her relative ; but prin.
b; ally because Richard. the biker's your g man, declares he haters
all sailors. The visit is never a very It ii.,thened one, especially if
the girl live. I:i to the west: for her grandra•her has to call upon
It'd; Somebody, who set up, with his prize.money, a public-house
In Wapping: an off he stern, Iturriei up the Strand, toilettes his
hat i'tout a point of principle as he nears Samenet-house, puts out
tame met.s and away for Temple-bar. The pensioner has not
yet. however. sat for his picture.
We have a I read of crabs being despoiled of their claws, locusts
of 1!..:t versils, and turtles of their brains, receiving in lieu
ther.of a pellet of cotton, and yet retaining life, and appear.
hie, in the words of the experimentelizing and soft.hearted
estarel si " very lively and comfortable." • Now, the real
tire, tis rli pet shiner distances all these ' • he is. indeed, an enigma •
naiure kt ows not what to make of him. He bath been sus-
pended. lilii• a schoolboy's bob-cherry, a hundred times over
stir cloy, ~f death, and yet still been snatched away by the band
p,,, tenor—to whom, indeed, his many hurts and (Lingers
l!y endeared hint. Ye of the " lord interest," ye eoft-
*narks, who think with terror upon a razor on a frosty
soli:ring old gentlemen, who pause at a linen.
• the Ormel between your finger*, as time verge,'
—ye martyrs to a winter cough, ye racked with a
rose ,e—all ye of household ailings„ look upon this
:et..! pyce of clay, this fireenwith pensioner t—cotisi.
i.', y of his powers he is ileskled—see where the cut.
is „,,litio.pike hate ploughed up and pierced his flesh ;
ioAl!e has glanced. sheeting by : and when you hare
—if thoy are to be reckoned—his many scars, above
sik At his hard. contented. we:oder-barnacled face, and then,
complain u! your rheum', your joint-twitching*,

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‘l'hy, thit I:reenwi.ih penvinner is in hintsc!f a record of the last
;:i years' w.,r. fie is .1 hreoihing volome of naval hirinry : not
o trent hnt iv somewhere indented in him with pled or lead: he
;:vi t en Vie Kick in which the Etiglivit Mani has notched hi:,
when twenty.four peu:!:leri, were hang, anti main-
uso's wicket,. "i.e. in its !dinned eye is Ilowe's victory on the

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clotifirsto first of .I.me ;stumpw
of hat what was once an arm.
la N.:. ; ar.,l i,) his weerkit leg, read Tratalcar. As to his scan,
a a, ti, n, or a desperate cutting oot, is noted in every one
a; I', ;.:, what was the rid fellow's only wish, as, with a shat-
ler,, he lay in the cockpit under the surgeon's hand—
V!: a 1, .i 4 his earnest supplication to the wet.eyed mrsamate
him down the hatchway? Sinn ly, that he would
eo., of the splinter of the mnitauast of the Vic.
Ace of it a leg for Sundays! His wish was
rat at Greenwich, always on the seventh day, and
twerty-first of Ortober is he to be seen propped
',estimable aplinter„ which from labour, time, and
cu taken the dark glossiness of mahogany. What a
as ! What a certain consciousness of superiority on his
ant at times pufra out his lip. and gives a sudden twitch to
Hut ask hi^t in what quarter sets the wind—and note,
• with) his ose (ye he will glance at you loin top to toe; and,
• ever raring his head or hand to make a self-inquiry, all.
y,((t at on^e, as tlintigh it was a question he was already pre.
faired for ! And so. bolted. he is: it being his first business, on
r cons alt the weather. The only way to gain his entire
is at once frankly to scow your utter ignorance, and his
ir,miortly; am! then, after lie has leered at you with an eye, in
s!.,::( there is a meeting of contempt good•hurnour, and sclf-im.
pet Ara, he is wholly your own ; and will straightway launch
e tnuth Seas, coast along the shores of Guinea, where—
he will tell you he once fell in love with a negress,
• lialse.". Cr, jilted hint for the cook,—and then he will launch
e.,:: about Admiral Gw:can--take you a voyage with hint round
Cape 11,rn, where it mermaid appeared and sw,g a sang to the
' ,'s crew ; and who, indeed, blew aside all the musket.shots

•I% 3%. li

c era ung.illamly tired at her in requital of hr melody.
pmsiunir has one pnrticular hsory; hear him through
sutler yours:if to be wholly astounded at its recital, and. if
tto ,re not a landsman. he would instantly gre t you as his
d.-arest friend. The heroes of this same story are our pensioner
a str.rk : a tremendous shark that used to be the terror of
" .

harbour of fit. Thonias's. Upon this shark, and the piece
i i toe teal-mast of the Victory. is VW pensioner cotiteot to rest
during his life, and his fame with posterity.
Ile will tell you that he, being caterer of the mess, let fall a
•,..cce of liter out at the port-hole, which this terrible shark re-
c..:,l into its jaws, anti twisted its body mint provokingly at the
c"ri .uranutl.ful. Hereupon our pensi.t.e---it was bJore, he
I. 1.1:1•• you, lie hid lost A 111111.1—.11,6 heave of the first-lieutenant
•T 111.: captain was w.hore) to lure a bout with the shark
I 3re hi.l

;.; awed, all the crew are quickly in the shrouds, and
the- hammock-netting, to see lora " tackle the shark."
t.tr pot. oiter now enters into a minute detail of how, having
snat.l leials.lf with a long knife, he jumped overboard, dived
...der the sh-trk, whom he saw approaching with el.stcnded jaws,
.1 nti..rel u nettle. dour wuuud aith the knife in the belly
tt:e fish: thi.t is ft petite,' thrice, when the shark turns
its beck—a boat is let down, and both the conqueror
! thr etottphrttl are quickly received upon deck. You are
,:ttless :isle:it:shed at do: ; in, however, adds In your surprise by
•;•!.; rut that the loess regaled att. the piece of beef recovered
.: :a 'he lish ; be n ore astounded at this, although eaingle on
St in ,oar asto:tishrner.t, and he will straightway promise some
.y to treat your eyes with a sight of a set of chequer-men, cut
:• the vat. dorsal bore ot the immolated shark ! To be the
• 4.!. a •;dilorhi the is something like undergoing the ancient
•It: Of re il.hot ploughshares : be innorert of unbelief, and you
I •., wnsit.4l.iturrney in safety; doubt the smallest point, and
e ,strickly withered into notellir.
t; .en odd contrast to his early life is the state of a Greenwich
•-•::,r ! It is as thow‘h • part of the &tipy and kerning sea
::1 ltest-tgnart in a bathing tr:b. All his business is to recount
' • hurler ;.11A-to—to plat about, and look with a disdainful

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trees. and brick 111111 n tr. ter ; or, when he would indulge in
'is :it ct spleen, to walk down to the river's side, and let his
L/1 ot the mishaps of London apprentices, who, fearless of
• e may have venture I some tire miles from home in not
. • wlurry." A Greenwich pensioner fresh from sea
• preposterous Creature ; he gets up e.cry morning for a
a month, and still finds himself in the same place: he
not wi:at to make of feels the strangeness of his
and 'mold, had he the patience and the wit, liken
to a hundred unsettled t4iags. Compare him to a
• ims ii: a genilcinan's park, and he would tell you
1',.l in his day seen a hippopo•snius, and then, with
P".l.•.,tured grout, acquiesce in the resemblance; or to a

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•1'•-Cott in a Nowa-garden ; or to • ses-gull in the cage of
Canary ; or to a porpoise upon a hearth-rug ; of to a
in a nursery ; or to a marling-splice in a milli.
r.er,:._,:l:.roomor a tar.bdrrel in a confectioner's ; with any one
.1 these misplaced articles would our unsettled pensioner
until :irate shall hare reconciled him to his asylum ;
4..dr en then. Ids fancy, like the shells upon our mantel.pieco,
v!und of the distant and the dangerous wean. At Greenwich,
• r, the 11111tilated old sailor has enough to indulge in the
de,tion bit Lady days, and, with what wisdom he may, to
zkr up his mina to meet in another world those whom his arm

mar have sent thither lung before. Death, at length. gently
irys the veteran upon his back—his last words, in the sailor puts
• , aithered loud upon his heart, are " all's well," and sea and
have rasszd tway. His body, which had been for forty
t, ,rs a bulwark to the land, now demands of it but two paces of
c:u vilest earth ; and if aught could spring from the tomb charse-
t ristic of its inmate, from the grave of the pensioner would mote
.tout unbentlinr, oak—it would be his hitting monument; and
•u v.motling of the birds in its branches would be his loud, his art.
.ts, epitaph.
rhe lirceuw7ch pensioner, wherever we meet with him, ie a fine
uatnt memenm or our national greatness, and our tin tunate loci-
hr. We should look upon him IS the representative of Neptune,
:id bend one spirit towards hint accordingly. Dot that is not suffi-
fient ; we hare individual acknowledgments to make to him for
thu comforts rf a Ione; safety. Let us but consider, as we look at his
%oaten styptic', t ha: if it hi.d not been for his leg, the cannons
full might have scattered us in cur tea-parlour—the bullet which
deprived him at his orb of vision might have stricken Oar Villog,
from our hand, whilst ensconced in our study; the cutlass which
taeved his shoulder might have demerits:.ll our china vase, or
Sala globe of golden halt :—instead of which, hemmed round by
such walls of stout and honest flesh, we hays lived securely,
participating In every peaceful and doinestic comfort, and neither
'used the roar of the cannon nor seen its smoke. Shakspcare has
Compared England to '• a 1111•11.11 nest" in the •• world's pool:" let
us be nautical in our similies, and liken her to a single !anon-
kemel in a huge bowl of punch : who is it that has prevented the

• See VAillisat mid lkdL

kernel from being ladled down the throat of despotism, from be-
coming but an atom of the great loathsome Man ? Our Greenwich
pensioner. Who has kept our homes fmm being transformed
into barracks. and one eabbsge marken: into paratlea?—again,
• and again, let it be answered, the thectierich pensioner. Reader.
it the next tithe you nee the tar you should perch :nee have with
you your wife and smiling family, think that It their tenderness
has hever been shoeked by scenes of blood and terror, you owe such
quietude to a Gretuorich pensioner. Inched, I know not if n
triennial pmgress of the fire:or:kit estaidialiment through the
"mole kingdom would sot he a.hroted wilt the moat beneficial
elms—tstiters would teach their lisle once to lisp thanksgivings
unto God that they were horn in England, as reminded of unit
hopy superiority by the withered form of every Greenwich
pensioner.