Northern Times.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1857-11-19 00:00:00

DOCTOR CAPTAINS.

Gather round me, my masters, f;r I'vo found a pill,
That will twist your experience, and test all your skil;
Get lull' upon luff, doullc purchase and gin,
And I'm blow'd it I think you will than hoist it in.
We've quacks on the hustings, in pulpit, or rostrum;
Quack for all drugs, and for every fresh nostrum;
But the late,t and newest of all the clap-trap-men,
Is not a quack doctor, but a doctor quack Captain.
Messrs. " Stuart and Douglas," who tend to the" coast,"
Many vessels per year, have of lase made a boast,
That their ships under doctors were safer than when
They were sailed or commended by nautical men.
A new dictionary, of sea terms, we'll need,
Tho old ones won't do, shouid this quack-plan succeed ;
Holy stones will ba useless as cle,ers in time,
Salts and sauna will do it, with chloride of lime.
The sharp anatomical knife, now will slice,
And discnyon plaster, a fractur'd rope sxice;
Fish a sprung spar with balsam, and serve well the splint,
That supports a weak back stay, with ointment and lint.
When the ship's in the doldrums, to b:ing the wind art,
Give the rudder a pill, and the head a black draught;
When the sails are distended, w.th wind from a squall,
'Stead of reefs, give some peppermint drops in a ball.
With tincture of arnica, rub every strain,
And emolients apply, to the throat haulyards pain;
When at anchor, your ship shears wild in tido rats,
A few drops of laudnurn might answer that case.
The learn'd doctor captain can meet every ill,
Clear a log with a powder, calm a gale with a pill;
o lee shore can harm him, collision, avast!
All dangers stand still, till the doctor's ship's pass'd.
Let the quack Ritton doctor, who, free of all price,
Gave the Joskins out there, kindly w:rds of advice;
Take atain to that trod,, w.thout (ramming our throats,
With such stuff, as a quack's, thw beat seamaa that floats,
Our troops, doctor-colonels have oft enough had,
And the navy can boast, doctor-captaius as bad ;
But we've ever found those, who upheld our proud name
W
ere the men who had worit'd th,mselves upward to fame.
But, thsnks to the board of our merchant marine,
Who shankpainter'd and stopper'd a doctrine so green ;
Ca ;tai' doctors are all we 1 enough, as of yore,
Ent of these doctor captains, oh! let's hear no snore.

LONG TON.

Exelus:rely for CLOTHIVG 13')YS fr 33 Six to Treaty Years
LEWIS & COMPANY, “anelagß-nin.

DEATH OF 311{. A. STAFFORD, M P —DUBLIN, Tuesday.—
This afternoon Mr. Stafford, 2/1.P., for Northamptonsithe,
died suddenly at Morrison's Hotel, Dublin.
TAB REFORX BILL.—The .Times argues, that it will be
an impracticable thing to do justice to a Reform Bill next
session. The great subjects which will demand attention
are the organization of India, and the retrospective dis-
cussion of the mutiny ; the Batl Charter and its necessary
episodes, and the Reform Bill. They cannot all of them
be discussed in one session, and, therefore, which ever can
give way must give way. Parliamentary Reform happens
to be the accommodating one of the three; in point of time
it is not positively necessary next year - it is, therefore,
the subject to give way.
• -

1 A CATHEDRAL QOESTION.—TLe Bishop of Oxford was
lately a visitor in these parte, first at Brougham Hall,
subsequently at Rose Castle His lordship is not less
remarkable for activity than for elcquenca. He is a
" preaching bishop," thorgh he does not make the
frequency of his preaching an excuse for slovenly com-
position or extempore twaddle. A; Chester, Preston, and
other places on his route, he spoke both from platform and
pulpit, to the delight of many who, like ourseives, admire
without unqualified assent. How is it that in the diocese of
Carlisle the s n of Wilberforce did not exercise his
hereditary gift,? How is it that the venerable arches of
Carlisle Cathedral did not echo with the voice that must
always charm and instruct, even when it does not convince ?
Did the Bishop of Oxford plead fatigue, or did somebody
else ? We need neither finish the enquiry nor say
why we put it. It lies with the Cathedral authorities to
clear themselves from the suspicion of covering up one of
the brightest lights of the "national" church.—Carlislel
Examiner.

BOYS' CLOTHING MADE WITH GREAT TASTE, at LEWIS and
COMPANY'S, &maul:l-street.