The Press.
London, England, 1858-08-21 00:00:00

THE PRESS, AUGUST 21,1858.

army became a huge unwieldy monster, oppressed
by its own weight.

The Age. A Colloquial Satire. By Philip
James Bailey, Author of "Festus." London:
Chapman and Hall.
THE importance of this work consists in its
being a summary of the opinions upon public
affairs held by the ill-tempered section of that
large and respectable class who never study
them. It is very properly written in slipshod
English and halting metre. It is perhaps rather
long, but Mr. Bailey is known to be, if we
measure by the number of verses which he has
produced, the most creative genius of recent
times. The plot is perhaps needlessly com-
plicated. Three personages are introduced, who
as they appear to agree in opinion upon most
questions, and all alike belong manifestly to the
class above referred to, might, as far as appears,
have commissioned one of their number to say
everything which was to be said. But doubtless
the author felt that these characters were
necessary to keep each other in countenance,
and considered that an ignorant man seldom
bestows the whole tediousness of his ignorance
except upon companions as ignorant as himself.
In other respects the plan is very consistently
executed. We have here no digressions into
that supersensual world in which Mr. Bailey
is most at home. The guardian angels of planets,
the eternal predestination of souls, the tempta-
tions of the devil, the frail human contemplatist,
have ceased to be the subjects of his Muse; and
front the present volume we should never have
guessed that Mr. Bailey had ever occupied himself
with " fates and destinies, and such odd sayings—
the sisters three, and such branches of learning."
As consistently he appears to have avoided every
other subject upon which he has ever meditated.
We have not discovered among the vast number
of topics cursorily discussed in this " Colloquial
Satire" any one which the author has studied
more than another. He treats with the same
engaging innocence of each and all. Nor, indeed,
when he drops practical politics, and pursues for
a few digressive pages certain theological theories
suggested by the topics of the day, does he show
any more acquaintance with the ground he is
treading. So that it seems quite impossible that
" The Age" can really be a production of the
author of " Festus," a work which Alfred
Tennyson declared that he could not trust hint-
self to say how much he admired, or else the
suggestion we have thrown out must be true,
and Mr. Bailey must have deliberately intended
to display the extent of popular ignorance of
politics. If this be so, then the title "A
Colloquial Satire" must be taken to mean "a
" satire upon conversation, or upon the pro-
" pensity of people in this age to talk about
" what they do not understand."
Supposing, however, that this is really the
author's design, we must profess that we cannot
consider it altogether a happy plan, and we much
doubt whether either our own patience or that
of our readers will second us if we attempt to
give a particular account of the poem. We com-
mence our colloquial satire with the question of
Parliamentary Reform. Upon this point our
opinion, or rather our " Friend's" opinion, is
that " In my view, though not worth defending, "
—in this phrase perhaps the author's covert con-
tempt for the interlocutors in his dialogue peeps
out, the vote wants raising, rather than ex-
tending." From this we pass to a strong con-
demnation of the Indian policy of England; and
thence again advancing, we confidently pronounce
that
The Typocrat now rules from coast to coast,
Who, rattling off a leader while yon are winking,
Has almost atifted independent thinking.
If we look to the voluminousness of his works,
Mr. Bailey ought certainly to be allowed a high
rank among the Typocrats. Ilis first poem,
published when he had scarcely written himself
among men, was as long as all Milton's poems
put together, and in the present work he has
shown a similar superiority in prolixity, to Pope.
Again advancing, we undauntedly declare that
of all conceits misgraftcd on God's word
A Christian soldier seems the most alisnr I ;
That word commands us so to act in all things
As veer to uurt another e'en in small things.
Becoming alive to the objection that this pre-
cept, supposed to be found in the New Testa-

ment (it has been omitted in our copy), Would
bar himself from boxing his naughty
ears, and still more front publishing his pant
111 r.
wholeley re
dturoncstrtione subject.tohfispeacewar i
We then.
:
nously stated :
If I run a man right through and through,
As in some cases I have a right to do,
1.11 boast nn Christian motive in the act,
Nor Gospels garble to excuse the fact;
Enough that he's a rogue and I'm attacked.
Ask me how much about his soul I care
Just at that moment, and—no, I'll not swear.
This writer has certainly
.adopted a different
tone of treating serious subjects front that which
he employed in former times, when he mingled
with the choirs of angels and caught the words of
Divine Persons audibly speaking. Ile has now
learnt that Christianity is only an outward
fashion ; that it has nothing to do with a man's
and tini/.
essential character, but only affects his general
manners ; that it is, in short, a dress-suit to be
worn in solemn assemblies, and to be discarded
as soon as there is work to be done. And why
does Mr. Bailey pull himself up when he feels
tempted to utter a profane oath ? Courage, Mr.
Bailey ; you can enjoy your oath without
" garbling Gospels to excuse the fact." It is
enough that you feel tempted to give vent to it.
Perhaps, however, we are wrong in ascribing the
aposiopesis to pious self-restraint. It occurs to
us that there is no oath in common use which
rhymes to " care."
Again, changing the subject, we review the
whole course of events in Europe since the repeal
of the Corn Laws. We remark that that party-
contest was followed by a rot of the potatoes, and
this, again, by " a year of rows and revolutions."
The word " row" does not probably occur in this
sense in Milton or Pope. Upon these events we
appear not to be inspired with any reflections,
except one which has perhaps been anticipated
by some other writer—viz., that the rench
revolutionary leaders are not sufficiently practi-
cal. Upon the Chartist demonstration of 154 s
we feel ourselves competent to pronounce a
dignified opinion—" in fact, they lacked substra-
" turn for a row." Before we pass from this to
the Papal Aggression, we find occasion to de-
nounce Dr. Livingstone in a parenthesis:—

To me his Biblical-Cottonian gammon
Seems just the thing denounced—read Luke —as mammon.
Bence it would appear that a denunciation of
commerce, as well as of war, has been discovered
in the New Testament. Nay, from the invidious
compound " Biblical-Cottonian," it might he
inferred that the Bible denounces cotton alto-
gether. Then we go on to sneer at the Eerie-
siasteat Titles Bill, which we pronounce to be
otiose. Then we glance at the Great Exhibition.
and remark that " art-education don't succeed on
bees," which we illustrate by criticizing the
statues of the metropolis. Arguments, perhaps
tending to a contrary conclusion, might be de-
duced from the Royal Academy's Exhibition of
pictures; but, on the other hand, the unfavourable
opinion is confirmed by the fact that sonic of the
poems recently produced in England are
monsters of shapeless and massive imbecility.
Statues suggest to us the Duke of Wellington,
and he again gives occasion to the reflection that
" all government is based on force." This
sentence presents an appearance of novelty, but
as we hasten to explain that in "force" we II!'
dude all power, whether material or moral, this
appearance again disappears, and the position is
shown to be, when rightly understood, one which
will be universally allowed—viz., that all govern-
ment is government.
We pass to the Coup-d'Etat of Noveniber•
This appears to us very surprising. Wye eve!
consider it " the grandest drama ever plaYed;
but upon consideration we do not find that we
have any further remark to make upon
wh it,
ican. hu
accordingly we pass to the Russian war, '
as we happily phrase it, " brings us down to
where we nearly are." We are extremely d.c-
sirous of treating this subject in a striking
manner. Accordingly we gather ourselves st
and tter a formula of introduction caleslatfl:
excite the reader to unusual attention, we dell'
our mind :
The object of that war appears to me
Wrapped in this query ; Russia, shall it be
111 Europe? or shall Europe be in Russia.
After this effort, then, we rest. Our political
system is before the world.

From this point the poem defiesall
anal
aysis.
poet does indeed " glance from heaven to
1, from earth to heaven." The conversa-
becomes such as might take place between
English sailors, who should each possess
loquence of the one whom Mr. Albert
f used to personate, and who, shut up in the
room for half a day, should agree to allow
other ten minutes of monologue by turns.
reviewer between sleeping and waking may
through it, but cannot be expected to give
account of the serpentine course of the dis-
cussion. It is less important to give such an
account, as the arrangement and the sentiments
• seem to have been generally determined by
rhymes. In these rhymes, which seem
weak attempts at parodying Mr. Tal-
s burlesques, the author appears plainly
imagine that he has furnished the public
a fund of amusement, to supply which
sense and arrangement were cheaply
sacrificed. Certainly amusing rhymes have been
produced ; he must be very grave indeed who
not allow himself to be moved by Byron's

ye lords of ladies intellectual,
over us truly, have not they henpecked you all?

we are not amused when such rhymes arc
luced by monstrous distortions of language, by
le3turbing violently the arrangement of the sen-
tence, by coining new words. To amuse us,
odd coincidences must spring up naturally,
not be sought for ; if they betray the labour
. was spent in hunting for them, they cease to
ludicrous, and become contemptible and pain-
We do not laugh at
what we learn from him the French call Shakspere,
tilton, or any other learned taxpayer.
at this :
tut still the world is full of serious presages,
in spite of all crsmetics still distress ages.
at this :
Him who in Greek of Romans wrote, Folybius,
Which makes us class him as a scribe amphibious.

is natural to expect that Mr. Bailey may
broach some novelties upon the subject of poetry.
the numerous pages, however, which he has
-toted to literary criticism, he still adheres
rigidly to the principle of admitting nothing but
platitudes. or a specimen, however, of the
style of the poem, we may as well select the cata-
logue of Greek authors who, in Mr. Bailey's
opinion, ought to be read, as any other passage.
Selection, strictly speaking, is not possible in a
production of which no part is either better or
worse than the rest :
Read mighty tEschylus, whose harmonies,
Polysyllabic, would in days like these
rush critics' jaws, or else their theories ;
Mature in thought and sad, wise Sophonles,
Patheic, politic Euripides ;
losehus, Ilion, Theocritus, and all—
i hey are but few—whom minor bards we call;
Sage Solon, not forgetful of his claims
To rank his own 'mong Athens' noblest names,
he very man who would forgive a debtor,
:et hold himself severely to the letter ;
The awful hymnist Orpheus, hard of fable,
Theogius and his fellows ; who so able
Paullo-post-prandial truth, at his own table,
To teach ? those genial views and moral platitudes
(Ii brains the wine warms to its native latitudes?
And, barring his tremendous oath don't stagger us,
Study the gulden verses of Pythagoras;
'Hie odes of Pindar ; he with Homer shared
ie conqueror of the world's divine regard ;
Anacreon, Aristophanes, together
May quell the effects of Sllizidal weather,
The fragments epicene of Sappho fair,
Aratus and Alanilius, Pions pair.
So far of Greeks in chief.
e would willingly learn what principle has
presided over this singular selection. If Aratus,
the false Orpheus, and the false Anacreon are to
classed among Greeks in chief, of what
.riters is the second class to be composed ?
Who are the " fellows" of Theogius ? and why
are they so named ? Again, is it just to charac-
terize Solon as one " who would forgive a
!btor" ? We do not imagine that Solon or
other legislator ever pro ?wed to forgive
ibtors as a rule, or that the Ti'vreixeilea was due
the natural kindliness of the author of that
atreme measure. At the same time there is no
reason to doubt that Mr. Bailey, if unprecedented
circumstances should ever make him the ruler of
this country, will cancel all debts on Christian
principles. But the most puzzling part of this
catalogue is that Manilius should be included
among Greek poets. We ourselves may be of
°Pinion that a liberal education might be very

310
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