The Press.
London, England, 1857-03-07 00:00:00

A HUSTINGS DIALOGUE.

The Aylesbury Hustings. Her Majesty's Arm]

is "en evidence." An

ELEcr oa advan;u7
ELECTOR.—I'd like to axe Sir Richard a question or two, if so be
it's not taking a liberty like.

Sir R (sweetly).—lt is my happiness as well as my duty to respond
to any inquiry couched in the unexceptionable language which my
friend in the leathern inexpressibles is sine to employ.
ELECTOR.—Thank ye kindly, Sir Richard, and the same to you.
You made a speech in the House of Commons, now, on this here
Chinese debate?

Sir R.—l had the honour to attempt to infuse into that debate a
little irrefra gable ratiocination, and I regret that its effect was
apparently inappreciable.

ELECTOEL—LikeIy, Sir, likely. You told the Commons, or I'm
misled, as they wurnt worth answering, but that you'd answer the
Lords, and the Commons might attend to what you could say ?
Sir R.—You have slightly materialised the expressions I used, my
good friend, but I will not affect to deny that you have apprehended
their import.

ELECTOR (to a companion).—What's he say
COMPASION.—That he spoke prettier, but meant that.
ELECTOR.—LikeIy, likely; I aint pretty, noways. Well then, Sir
Richard, we ought to be proud to have you for our Member.

Sir R.—My good friend, without vanity, for I have none of it, and
without flattery, for you would despise it, I think that the representa-
tive of Aylesbury and his constituents have mutual reason for satis-
faction.

ELECTOR.—There's nobody in the House of Commons as is equal
to you.

Sir R. (playfully).—There is no House of Commons now, my dear
friend, so that your compliment falls to the ground. But, waiving a
technical jocularity, I am highly gratified with your intended appro-
bation.

ELECTOR.—There's Thesiger, now. He's nobody.

Sir R.—Nay, I will not say that. Indeed he is a tall, and, for
those who like that style of person, not an unpleasant-looking man.
Intellectually, of course, your estimate of him and my own approxi-
mate.

ELECTOR.—Fitzroy Kelly, now. Bah ! He aint like you.
Sir R.—ln one respect he is —(smiliny)—for we are both devoid
of that ornament to the top of the head which—in tact, we are both
bald. As regards the internal furnishing of the head, however, I
think we should require different valuations.
ELECTOR.—I should say so. Then there's Mr. Walpole.
Sir R —A person who endeavours, not altogether without success,
to assume suavity and courtesy, but entirely unequal to mental con-
flict with—l will not say with myself, but with any first-class and ac•
cumplished oratorical logician.
ELECTOR.—MaIins, I've heard, can talk ?
Sir R.—He can. So can your wife's parrot (I assume, without
prejudice to your good sense and hers, that you have a wife and that
she has a bird), and I should be puzzled to discriminate between their
dialectics.
ELECTOR.—And Cairns, too ?

Sir R. (indulgently).—And Cairns, too. What more need be said?
ELECTOR.—There are two Phillimores, I think, as were against
your side'

- Sir R.—T dare say there were. Perhaps three. A Phillimore
more or less is not an integer of much interest.
ELECTOLL—LittIe Mr. Roebuck is a bit of a lawyer, too?
Sir R.—l dare say he thinks so, and is singular in the belief. Not
that I deny him talent of a certain description, which would be avail-
able were he capable of seizing a proposition, or following the deduc-
tions from it.

ELEcroa.—And there was a lot more lawyers in the Huuse in that
Chinese debate ?

Sir R.—Very likely, my friend. I did not squander arithmetic
upon computing them, or their nothingness.
ELECTOR.—I'm sure, Sir Richard, ne are all mainly obliged to you
for these here particulars like.
Sir R.—And I am sure, my good friend, that nothing could give
me more pleasure than the imparting any information in my power.
ELECTOR.—It do seem to me, and I axe my fellow electors if it
beant so, a crying sin and a shame to throw away such gifts and
graces as Sir Richard's upon such a set of ignoramuses as the House
of Commons ?

Sir R. (a little startled).—Eh? No, my good friend, it is my plea-
sure and duty to assist, to the extent of my ability, in the advancement
of the interests of the State, regardless of the inefficiency of some of
the co-operation I may receive.
ELectoa.—Well have none of that there. He's too modest and
self-abasing by half. We'll have no racehorses put into shafts, dang'd
if we will. And since Sir Richard Bethell's much too great a man to be
sent to talk to these Commons, and can find nobody fit to speak to but
the Lords, I humbly and heartily move that we DON'T 11F.TC11N HiM, but
reject him by way of hint to Lord Pal►uerston and the other great
folk that he ought to have a Coronet.

Great applause and uproar, the ATTORYEY•GES£RAL vehemently protesting that the
House of Commons is quite good enough for him for the present ; but the electors will
nothear tf such a eking, and rush to do him justice by voting for his opponent.)

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