The Press.
London, England, 1856-01-19 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

RIGHT 110 N. T. B. M----y.
.Ul'B, St. Dunstan hears the

the flight of time ;
ig the relief,
)ns of their Chief.
Toll of fame,
great Whiggish name.
from the weak Stuart Kings,
and did some dirty things,
their clannish views,
iy deigns to use.
A and yellow vest
a Charles Fox was drest);
that's " ever fair and fau'se";
for modesty than sauce,
,ughs as Pam this new joke
by Burns the Land of Cakes."
)w near the trysting-place,
his pretty face;
)ble Christian name,
look the same.

n-pound votes !
wide distended throats ?
ar shall reign or Peace ?
Rome by cackling geese?
)mmons of the land,
tch a witless band !
'ie grey towers of York,
mild men of Cork,
let our watchword be,
and Victory ! "
PARIS.

id the Premier, at a recent
advantage of the presence of
. Paris during the deliberations
ited to me from more quarters

td possibly advice, if needed,"
But who is there that

leet the idea," replied Lord

" I could go, easily."
pare you, my dear fellow," said
would you be
the part of England," re-
iniralty might have something

tue of Bo dear a head—tam
"it won't do. We must not
Aght to have gone, and would,
that keeps him away.

;tart' ,placidly, "it would bo very
disagreeable to have that Arminian place flung in one's face."
" Armenian, Pan," said the Premier, " not Arminian. Though, to
be sure, its defence showed the efficacy of good Works."
" How can you ?" said Sir George Grey, deprecatingly.
" Why did not Granville go?" asked the Colonial Secretary. "He
speaks French like a native."

" For that very reason," said Lord Palmerston. " There might be
-many questions asked which it might be inconvenient to answer with-
out reflection, and Granville would not be believed if ho replied, as
Johnny Russell used to do, "May, mosieu, je ne comprong par total!.
them."

" The same objection would apply to me," said Mr. Labouchere.
" That—and some others," replied the Premier, smiling. "It is
pretended, not real, opacity that ono wants in an envoy."
" Thank you," said the Colonial Secretary.
" Pooh, pooh, don't look angry," returned his Chief. " You are
much too clever a man to be afraid of a joke. Why, you were n. )t. afraid
to take the Colonies, the best joke of our whole career."
" I trust the Colonies will not find it ajoke," said the implacable
Labouchere.

" I'm afraid they won't," said the Premier, rather more earnestly
than is his wont; " but sufficient for the day is the deevil thereof, as
We say in Scotland."
" Why did you not suggest my going over? " asked the President
of the Board of Control, trimming his finger-nails with an ivory in-
strument.

" Because the Frenchmen would have called you' Smeet,' my dear
Vernon, and I would not willingly expose a man who is particular
about his name to so barbarous an outrage."
" India may be attacked next year," said Mr. Smith, languidly
drawing on his white glove.
" By that time you will be more at home in your Indian Sceptre
Exercises, and able to defend it," said Lord Palmerston. '• Meantime
I can't afford to spare so invaluable a colleague."
" You flatter me," said the pleased Controller.
"By Jove, do I?" returned the Premier. " Your advice is most
salutary. I never bought such good perfumery and tooth-brushes,
uutil you told me what shop to go to."

"Frederick Peel might have been sent to Paris," said Lord Pan
inure. " Kars could not have hurt the pachydermatous Fred."
" Couldn't send a clerk, my dear fellow," replied Lord Granville.
" Else, I agree with you, he would not have felt the sore place. On
the contrary, he would have looked up arguments to prove that Kars
ought to have been sacrificed, that it was not worth keeping, that the
black basalt of the houses made them unwholesome, that the river
Arpa was dirty and spread malaria, and that in his eminently military
opinion the conquest of the town was a loss to Russia."
" There is nobody else, you see," said Lord Palmerston, "whom
one could, with any decency, select. Argyll was good enough to say
that he would go and set the Council right, but only on condition that
he had a seat and a vote, which they could hardly accord to a civilian,
even though he wore the red coat of a postman."
" 1 said I would wear the uniform of Vice-Sheriff of Argyllshira,"
said the Duke, angrily.
" I fear even that splendid array would not dazzle the soldiers in
Council. Remember what they are in the habit of seeing."
" But his oratory vi mild," said Lord Panmure, mischievously.
" rant pia," replied the Premier. "On the eve of a campaign
men should see clearly. On the whole, I preferred to kuep him at his
letter-box."

"I think you were tight," said the President of the Board of
Trade, sententiously.
" 'Praise from Sir Philip Stanley, of Alderloy ' and so forth,"
quoted Lord Palmerston, laughing. " Perhaps you would have liked
to go yourself?"
"What for?"

"For the same reason that brought you into office."
" And what w

" I really don't know," said tho Premier, " and I never could find
anybody to tell me. But there's one riddle that may probably occur
to you all, and that is, why, at such a momentous crisis, I did not run
over myself, and discuss what will be about the most important cain-
over myself, and discuss what will be about the most important cam-
paign ever projected."
" Yes," said several voices, " why did you not ?"
" Do you give it up ?"
"Yes, yes."
" Because I didn't choose."
" Connu," said Lord Granville, and the Council broke up.