The Press.
London, England, 1856-12-20 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

DECEMBER '2O, 1856.

admit, would neithPr be so pleasant nor so unrestrained as the existing
system of independent messing ; but these are trifling considerations
compared with the control and supervision a captain and his first
lieutenant would exercise over the junior officers in one of the most
important but most neglected points concerning the future welfare and
honourable career of the "youngsters" in her Majesty's navy. In no
profession is a boy left so uncontrolled in his use of wine and spirits.
At that early age he wants neither ; but by habitual use of both, he
soon acquires an habitual taste for both ; and how many promising
boys are ruined in consequence, the Admiralty books can tell. It is
this evil which wants control, and it can never be controlled under
the present independent system of separate messes.

The murderer of Mr. LITTLE is still at large, and the police of
Dublin still rest under the imputation of inefficiency. In these days,
when great and revolting crimes have become so frequent in circles
where its existence was unsuspected, we are driven to the
conclusion that a portion of English society has arrived at that
state in which to be tempted and to yield to temptation are
the same thing, and to yield to temptation and to shrink from
no crime to conceal the result are equally synonymous. Ros-
so: and REDPATH cheated, and were found out. It is, perhaps,
fortunate that they were not tempted to destroy all chances of
detection (as PALMER hoped to do) by a still deeper crime.
They, indeed, might have shrunk from murder. But of a
dozen men placed in the same situation, there would always be some
to whom homicide would be less repulsive than disgrace. When crime
goes hand in hand with education, a detective must exercise acute
ratiocinative faculties in looking for the criminal he seeks. No false
delicacy should stand in the way of a most searching and open exami-
nation into all the circumstances of this most mysterious and ap-
palling transaction.

H.M.S.

" RESOLUTE."

Ship ho! going free through the sleet and roar,
A sturdy broad•bowed craft,
With the English ensign at the fore,
And the stars and stripes abaft.
" What ship ! what ship!" cried the pilot's crew,
As under her lee they shoot;
And the captain hails, from the forecastle rails,
" The good ship .Resolute
" With never a trenail started,
A-taunt from her keel to truck,
As when with her crew she parted
While the great bergs strained her and struck.
To bring a New's Year's gift here
My country did me depute "
Oh ! a heartier cheer you shall never hear
Than theirs for the Resolute!
Twelve hundred miles she had drifted,

A year and four months through,
Wherever the wild wind shifted,

Wherever the currents drew.
But a touch she could feel was on the wheel,

And by unseen mariners manned,
With her rigging good still onward she stood
In the rocks of the Labrador land.
'Twas there that aboard a whaler

Brave Hartstein saw her aground,
And, like a daring sailor,
Sailed home in her safe and sound.
Then the Yankee riggers fitted her,
And the Yankee people paid
Two thousand score of dollars or more

That the gift might be grandly made.
Then nine times nine for the Resolute !

'Tis a gift with a right good grace ;
In our Queen's " I thank you " shall be heard
The thanks of the English race.
Long so may the Eagle and Red Cross
Together float and be furled ;
Then back to back we'll dare, good lack,
The " balance " of all the world !

A STREET ROW.

The Metropolitan Central Board is discovered sitting. Before it are several
maps of London, and a variety of elementary works on biography.
The CHAIRMAN.—Order, order. Now, don't quarrel, gentlemen. I
dare say we can settle all your claims ; only let us do things in order.
A MEMBER.—Order be hanged. I want to be hoff; but before I
go I want to have my street settled.
The CHAIRMAN.—What do you mean by your street, sir?
A MEMBER.—What do I mean? I mean this. Wot are we
mcetin' for?

The CHAIRMAN.—We are meeting to consider the report of the
committee to whom we intrusted the duty of choosing new names
for such London streets as require them, namely, streets of which there
are duplicates.

A Facetious MEMBER —Duplicates of streets ! Fancy taking a
btreet to my undo's,

1213

A Democratic MEMBER.—ICS what the aristoxy does precious often,
Thoy they call it a mortgage.
A Sympathetic MEMBER.—Ah ! you may well say that.
Original MEMBER.—Very well, then, this is wot I have to say.
Wot street's to be called after me. Say the word, and there's a nend.
The CHAIRMAN.—NIy dear sir, I fear that in the allocation of the
titles—

The MEMBER.—D--n elocution and titles, too. I'm a Radical. I
insist that some street—and a good 'un, mind, and none of your back
slums—shall be called after this nigger. If Tomkinson and Job binson.
and Snoggs, there, has streets, old George Grubb has a street, or knows
the lesson why.
The CHAIRMAN.--11 Mr. George Grubb will listen for a moment he
shall know the reason why. The name Grubb, though both respectable
and euphonious, has associations which the honourable member, doubt-
less an admirer of Pope's—
The MEMBER.—Blowed if I admire any of them. I thought this
here Pius wit,4 a brick, but he's no better than the rest, and oppresses
Naples and Malta, and all tbat, as bad as the others. Besides, what's
Popes to do with me, nor Pagans neither ?
The CH AIRMAN.—I am slightly misapprehended. Will the
honourable member let me remind him that there was a Grub-street,
and that within a few years back it changed its name to Milton-
street ?

The MEMBER.—ViCh shows there 's room for another Grubb-street.
Now I'll tell you the street I'll have. have Great George-street,
Westminster. I see nobody's got that, so I enterfere with nobody. It
shall be called Great Grubb-street ; or, for that matter, as my
name's George, you may may call it Great George Grubb•street. Is
that settled, 'cos I've got liver and bacon for dinner, and that aint good
cold, you know?
Sympathetic MEMBER.—Ah ! you may well say that.
Several MEMBERS.—No, no. Out of the question.
The MEMBER (dercely).—Wot do you mean by out of the question ?
Out of my eye, and out (Amy elbow, and now what's o'clock? I'm as
good as anybody here, or as anybody who aint here.
The CHAIRMAN --That proposition, my dear Sir, is indisputable,
but your original position is less tenable. We have certainly decided
not to interfere with certain nomenclature, and the street you select
will retain its original appellation. Now lam sure that as a sensible
man, and a Radical who despises worldly distinctions. you will see
how very valueless is the honour you covet.
The MEMBER.—That's neither here nor there. If other chaps
want it, it must be good for• something ; and if other chaps have it, I'm
entitled to it. Now there are twenty of them as I see here who are to
have it, and to have streets called after• 'em, and I'll be twenty-one.
Facetious MEMBER.—Yes, then you will be at years of discretion,
and not make a goose of yourself.
The MEMBER.—You'II keep a civil tongue, or maybe get a punched
head. (Sensation, and cries of " Order, order.")
A MEMBER.—Sir, I rise to order.

Facetious MEMBER (sotto voce, however).—Yes, order Grubb.
MEMBER.—To order, Sir, I repeat. The eyes of Europe are upon
us. We are a model Board, and we have done wonderful things. We
have drained London—at least we have sent some plans to Sir
Benjamin Hall—and now we look round far other work, and find
that the names of the streets aro the next matters of urgency. While
trying to give them good names, do not let us exchange bad names
among ourselves.
Sympathetic MEMBER —Ah ! you may well say that.
Original MEMBER.—Who talked of bad names? Is George Grubb
bad names ? I should like to hear somebody say so.
The CHAIRMAN —lndeed you would not, Sir, nor would he be justi-
fied in saying so. But a name may be very good to a cheque—
ha ! ha! and friend Grubb signs a good many, gentlemen—or in
parish books, or elsewhere—and yet not so good in large letters at the
corner of a street.

The MEMBER.-But Grubb's as good as lots of the names as you've
agreed upon. It's as good as Hadler, the Jew, or Hobbes, as picks
locks, or Boiler, whoever he is.

The CHAIRMAN.—BoiIeau, my dear Sir.
The MEMBER.—WeII, O's water, aint it, in French; and Bobo
must be a boiler, I suppose. Don't you pick me up before I fall
down. Well, then, here's Coke—what's Coke ?—for a name. Might
as well call it small coal at once. Then there's Stowell, which is an
informer, and now in quod—precious respectable party—and Grant, of
the fixer, and Davy—which you might as well have called Locker, it
sounds better—and Cabbage. What's Cabbage ?
The CHAIRMAN.—Babbage, my dear Sir. He invented a remark-
able counter.
The MEMBER.—I bet it aint a better counter than mine—solid
mahogany, as smooth as glass. However, if he's a respectable
tradesman I don't object. But I stand on my rights, and I'll have a
street called by my name. Fair play's fair play.
Sympathetic MEMBER.—Ah ! you may well say that.
The CHAIRMAN.—I fear that you will compel me to take the sense
of the Board.

The MEMBER.—If you put it in your eye you'll see none the worse
(Sensation.)

The CHAIRMAN —Gentlemen, Mr. Grubb moves that Great George-
street, Westminster, or some other street, be called Grubb-street. Who
seconds the proposition ?
Facetious MEMBER —I move, Sir, as an amendment, that, in-
stead of the word " Grubb," we insert the word " Chrysalis." (Roars
of laughter.)
(The mover qf the resolution was left punching the • head of the
mover of the amendment when the reporter left.)