The Press.
London, England, 1856-06-07 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

JUNE 7, 1856.

YANKEE DOODLE IN 1856.
BY A NEW ENGLANDER.

Yankee Doodle's a'most wild,
And drove to desperation ;
But 'taint with England he's so riled.
But with his own free nation.

He guesses Pierce must be a fool
If to hisself he riggers
We're goin' to war with old John Bull
That Kansas may keep niggers.

Oh, Pierce ! you aire a darned bad lot,
We didn't ought have chose you;
But the Whigs stuck up that c►ittur Scott
In their Caucus to oppose you.

We weren't, I guess, so pesky smart
To snub the Giu'ral neither;
If fighting is the game you'd start,
*He'd ne'er show the white feather.

Pierce best be mindin' what he's at,
And where his Cab'net's rushing;
We ain't a goin' to war—that's flat—
For him nor Caleb Cushing.

One 'coon may write, and t'other talk,
But, Johnny, don't you funk 'eni ;
Their stupid brag, I guess, we'll balk,

And they'll only spout to Buncombe.
In seventy-six we didn't shirk
To face the cannon's rattle;
And I guess New England did her work
On many a field of battle.

We fight for Right ; but 'tis a sin
Brethren to part asunder,
To keel► a set of Rowdies in
Poor Uncle Sam to plunder.

Then let them prate to German tools
And Irish agitators;
We Yankee folk are neither fools,
Nor to the Union traitors.

We will maintain our freeborn laws
Against intimidation,
And tight when we've a righteous cause,
But not on speculation.
• General Scott is not a wise man, but he is a respectable citizen and a gallant
soldier. Mr. Pierce is neither. He called himself General (he being a New Hampshire
attorney), and went to the Mexican war ; but only distinguished himself by faintiag and
falling off his war-horse in his first action.

THE COUNCIL OF WAR.
SCENZ.—The Foreign-office. PERSONAGES.—The Mtnistry.

The PREMIER (laughing).—Deuced good—deuced good ! Told,
too, better than Vernon Smith generally tells his stories He hasn't
even left out the point this time. "So I've taken chloroform."—
Capital ! And now for business. Granville, to order.
Lord GRANVILLE (takes his chair).—Order, my lords and gen-
tlemen.

Lord CLARENDON.—The business before us is, of course, the
American question.
Sir C. NVOOD (wisely).—North or South America? I only ask for
information. It's of no consequence. Never mind, go on.
Lord CLARENDON.—The question with the United States. I
have to inform you that Mr. Crampton has been dismissed. (Sen-
sation.)
Sir C. WOOD.—By Jove !
Lord CLARENDON.—Yes, the Capitoline Jove. And, of course, we
must now consider what we ought to do.
Duke of ARGYLL.—The question lies in a nutshell—
Lord PALMERSTON —Yes, but it's not to be settled in a crack.
(Laughter.) Do not let us he in a hurry, please. Most important in-
terests are involved in this discussion, and we must approach it in a
calm and statesmanlike spirit. You are aware that we are really
drawing on to the question whether we are to have peace or war?
Lord PANMURE.-1 say, at once, peace. I have only just finished
one war, and I am in no condition to undertake the bother of
another.

Duke of ARGYLL—That is a personal consideration, which should
be excluded. Any-body—l myself—would relieve you of duties to
which you are unequal.
Lord PANMURE.—Much obliged, but I don't want to be relieved,
and I don't want a war. Why, you can't go to war with America?
The thing would be wicked, and ridiculous, and—l tell you it's out
of the question.
Lord CLARENDON.—My dear Panmure—
Lord PANmuftE—Downright folly to talk of it.
Lord CLARENDON.—My dear Panmure—
Lord PANIKURE.---COnfOULlded idiotism.
Lord CLARENDON.— My dear Panmure—

Lord PANMllRE.—Disgusting imbecility. You may be in this
pickle, or that hobble, and there may be ill-feeling, and all that, but
war is out of the compass of possibility.
Sir C. WOOD.—That's the mariner's compass—l've seen them on
board ships—a magnet goes round and round on a card, and so you
know the altitude of the sun. (Looks proud.)
Lord PALMERSTON.—Dear Pan, the i.uil oisibility is a mistake.
Pierce has recognised Walker, and the least collision between one of
our ships and a Yankee would bring the thing on at once.
Lord PANMURE.—Then you've gone and got us into a pleasant
scrape, you have.
Lord PALMERSTON —That's not a philosophic way to look at it. A
series of events, mutually dependent, have generated a crisis which is
more or less satisfactory—we have to consider how to deal with it, not
to discuss them.

Sir C. WOOD.—But would you have the goodness to explain some-
thing to me? I only ask for information. What is it Crampton has
done to Walker, or Walker to Crampton? It's of no consequence, only
I should like to know before deciding.
DUKE of ARGYLL—P:4(y be quiet—when the Admiralty is required
to act you will be told all that you need know. Nuw, what do we
settle ? Is Mr Dallas to be walked otr?

Sir C. WOOD (to himself).—Now, who's Dallas, I wonder? I don't
like to ask, one gets so snubbed.
Lord PALMERSTON.—My lords and gentlemen, this case has an
English as well as an American character. I think we should postpone
any discussion on its general features, and consider it, just now,
simply in our capacity as Ministers.
Lord PANMURE.—Which is small.

Lord PALmEasToN.—Angry still? for shame ! I thought you called
yourself a Christian. I repeat it—in our capacity as Ministers. I
presume I am understood? _

Lord PANMIIRE.—You need not play at riddles. Speak out. I
suppose you mean with reference to the improvement of our position,
and the keeping our places?
Lord PALMER'STON.—WeII, well; there is no harm in calling things
by their right names, and we must be practical. As for a war, England
is exceedingly well prepared for war, thanks to the unequalled genius
of my friend the Finance Minister, the unparalleled intellect of my
friend the War Minister, and the unapproachable wisdom of my friend
the First Lord of the Admiralty So we may dismiss that part of the
question. The point is, whether the country is prepared to let us carry
on a new struggle. Because, if not, it would be eminently ridiculous
in us to increase the chances of a rupture. Peace, you know, is an
exceedingly fine thing, and a holy thing, and all that ; and we ought to
pause before putting it into peril. I would ask noblemen and gentle-
men to consider the matter in the interest I have indicated.

Mr. LABOCCHERE.—BUt if affairs have come to the crisis you speak
of we have no longer much option.
Lord PALMERBTON.—WeII, I don't go so far as that. Ido not mean
to say that if there were some very strong ground indeed for patching
up the ssork, a skilful and judicious hand might not do it. Peace is on
the cards ; unless they are played in a particular way she won't
come out.

Lord CLARENDON —A revoke would do it.

Lord PALMERSTON.—Hush—don't show your hand yet. But what
do you think, Messieurs ? Should I have to reconstruct our
Cabinet, eh ?

Mt. V. SMITH —I do not see how you could improve it.
Lord PALMERSTON.—And you are a good judge of upholstery, you
know. But the decision may be elsewhere. I confess that if we got,
unhappily, into war, I should like some little addition to the intellec-
tual strength around me. Certain vacancies would have to be made.
Sir C. WOOD (neruously).—Which, for instance? I only ask for
information.

Lord PALMERSTON —For instance, in your own department.
Would it not be well to ask GrRERM-

Sir C. Noon.—No ; certainly not ! By no means! It would be a
mistake!

Lord PALMERSTON.—Then, you see, the Colonies are very much
interested in the subject, and though I don't think Gladstone would—
still, if Labouchere were to allow me to offer
Mr. LABOUCHERE.—I would shrink from no sacrifice that I believed
for the good of my country ; but this I conscientiously think would be
so injurious to her that I certainly should decline.
Sir C. WOOD.—And very right, too.
Lord PALMERSTON —Well, we might arrange otherwise. There
are two or three men whom I should like to have about me, and I am
sure that offices would be left at my disposed by my colleagues.
(Murmurs.) No. But I assure you that in the event of

change could hardly be avoided
NEARLY ALL THE VOICES.—PeRee ! No war!

Lord PA LM ERSTON.—B MVO. I have obtained
opinion of my friends. That is ve►y satisfactory
Granville, that we have done all that we met to

thinks that we are to Millie every effort to avoid
America.

ALL—Hear, hear, hear!
Lord PALMERSTON —SO be it.
[The party breaks up. When all are gone except Lore
PALMERSTON makes the fallowing minute :
Tell Mr. Dallas
To cut from the Palace,
And tell Mr. Crompton
To come to Southampton.
Lord PALMERSTON.—TherP. that's quite in Cal
Granville? Come and ride. War, my bov—ceite, at
Lord GRANVILLE (piously).—The will of Pro,
There's a pretty anele—look !

)t a war some such
the conscientious
( to me. I think,
do. The Cabinet
d a collision wish
Lora GRANVILLE, Loru.l
Lnning's style—eh,
t ova aunt ova.
vidence be done.