The Press.
London, England, 1853-08-27 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

RESCRID (mournfully): Mashallah ! It was as I foresaw. It is
not my wont to heed dreams, for I have learned from the Frank
Hakeems that they are but indigestion. But last night I dreamed
that I saw a Bear playing upon a Scotch fiddle, and that you,
Padishah, danced to the music like one of the simpering aim who re-
joice us when our wives are at the Sweet Waters. The dream was
from the Prophet, and here is the interpretation thereof. Yet, speak
again, Stratford Effendi : we have been friends together.
AMBASSADOR : My Government charges me with the most cordial
sentiments of regard for his Sublimity, and for the independence of
his dominions. But circumstances alter cases. The Premier of
England has the fullest confidence in the justice and moderation of
the Czar of Russia. If he has crossed the Pruth it was by some inadver-
tence capable of explanation. If he has deposed the governors of
the provinces it was only because he saw that they were not doing
their duty. If he has seized the money of those districts, it was only
that it might not get into bad hands. If he is concentrating troops
upon the frontier, it is for the protection of your Sublimity against
some secret foes, whom he has no doubt discovered, for he is the
cleverest man in the world. If he is fortifying the ',laces he has
seized, it is that he may have the pleasure of handing them over to
you in an improved state. If he is costing you millions of piastres,
it is that you may understand the real resources of your empire.
Such are Lord Aberdeen's convictions, and therefore he thinks it
would be grateful in your Sublimity to assent to the wishes of your
true friend, Russia, and to leave the rest to his magnanimity. It is
not necessary for me to add that I am speaking Lord Aberdeen s
language, not my own.
SULTAN : And this is England ! Allah kerim !
_ .

AMBASSADOR (with indignation) : No ! Padishah, this is not England.
It is is my duty to my Government to state its views. It is my duty
as an English nobleman to say that they are not the views of England,
but that my countrymen have loudly protested, through their repre
sentatives, against the course of their Government ; and that ere
long they will raise a general shout of indignation at the mode in
which you have been treated. At the same time lam bound to recom-
end to your Sublimity to sanction the present negotiations.
SULTAN : Your nation is indignant. Ha ! then one day you may
bring me the head of Aberdeen Effendi.
AMBASSADOR : I should be sorry to offer your Sublimity a present
of so little value. But it will be a good day for me when I can tell
you that the Government has lost its head. In the meantime I must
commend this " note "to your Sublimity's consideration. I have the
honour to withdraw, but must beg to impress upon your Sublimity
that my Government charges me with the most cordial sentiments of
regard for your Sublimity, and for the independence of your do-
minions. [Exit.
SULTAN: Dourlet ichbalileh—with the fortune of a prince. But as
for that treacherous Aberdeen Scotchmun of a Lord, may Allah—
(His Sublimity's execrations become confused in their intinsity, and are
echoed by Reschid Paeha.)

VOICES OF THE DOG-DAYS.

Now that the parliamentary session is over, it becomes a matter of
some curiosity to inquire what has become, or is to become, of sundry
of the geniuses of public life whose brilliancy, or apparent brilliancy,
belongs entirely to the " season." The pensive Cockney, when
wandering iu the gardens of 'Vauxhall, must often have mused on
those little lamps which go to form letters and devices in illumination.
How ignoble and insignificant is each little glass fellow next morning,
when it lies by itself, and its glitter is over!
How a batch of gentlemen shines as a brigade ! Ah ! how different
the lot of the individual unit in the retirement of his suburban Laura!
Turn to the Manchester Orator. He has halla dozen times—with
brazen brow, and fluent tongue—impeached all the potentates of
Europe, to gratify the evening's mob. His audience are gone back to
short pay and strikes—the cheers have died away—and he, passport
in pouch (he has described himself therein as " a gentleman," which
the continental authories will not translate gentilhonme), is wandering
down the Rhine, and musing on the " barbarism " of the builders of
the Cathedral of Cologne.
In his travels (and ho has always an eye to Trade, rather than
Beauty—for he never forgets the " Bag ") he will meet probably Cockles,
the editor of the " Rasper." Cockles knows him—they encounter as
potentates in the calico—where those rumours and scraps of mis-
understood fact circulate, which are the substance of what Cockles
calls " Politics." Cockles is recruiting himself after the fatigues of
lashing the British Constitution—his great employment during the
session. He esteems himself great in his assaults on that venerable
machine ; and takes advantage of his being allowed to get up behind,
to bespatter it with dirt. He is now temporarily retired from his
pride of place, and is peacefully making a tour, disguised as a private
individual of respectability.
O'Squash, O'Flighty, and O'Doo, have agreed together to take a
set of rooms at Boulogne. O'Squash (having drawn a bill on his next
quarter's salary at the Ragbag-office) pays for the party, and patriotism
will be neglected for billiards and abundant brandy.
But the political fellows are, perhaps, to be envied in losing im-
portance, and getting a little wholesome recreation. The stars, worst
off, are a little social luminary or two, that we have in our eye—who
rise into a kind of importance in the time of the season, as dandelions
blossom in summer time. They bloom forth into some little notice
about Easter, and are to the society into which they contrive to get
as serviceable in their way as Ousrma's men. They come in with
Squallini, the Cannibal Catires, the new novel, and the early peas ;
they disappear when the season is over, and few know whither they
depart. They will be seen in May again, you may be sure, having
prepared their jokes and their campaign plans as carefully as the
birds build their nests.
We have such a one in our eye (as Smear: had his captive) ; we
shall see in a day or two, we know—(together with the few subscribers
of the paper where it is destined to appear)—that, among the " De-
partures," with the Earl of —, Lord —, Mr. Endall, of Rosemary,
&c."—all bent on the country—went a certain " AIMAIIAM We
shall muse on that paragraph with wonder and admiration ; the gentle
section of the public who see it will know nothing of the degree of
" distinction" attached to the individual, but will probably conclude
that he is distinguished. We shall give ourselves up to meditation,
which may be reduced into the fi►llowing shape
I. If a man indulges himself in serving up his spite to a select
circle of subscribers, does that justify him in announcing his move-
ments to these people through the same columns?
2. Is it possible to combine in one's own person Junius and Jack
Brag ?

CHRISTOPHER ANNTET has the following:—
" O'er thy tomb may pot-Motiaoms and marjoram wave,
And fat be the gender that feeds; on thy rare
If the late Sir ItosEnt FnnL has not, had this good fortune, and
his gander is in such bad condition that he requires the stimulant of
fresh breezes, it would be well if he cackled of hi►s whereabouts less
obtrusively. ONE WHO DoESN'T FEAR AN " ANSER."

ri A PARTY, having, in consequenee of the rise of the House, a good
deal of spore time uu his hands, would be glad t occupy the same with advantage.
To a country r. ntleman desirous of annoying orb of the neighbouring Clergy, or of
getting up a qm:i rel with any Archdeacon, or even Wshop, the Advertiser's servicca
would be invaluable. Has a quantity of grievances un hand which could easily be fitted
to any locality. Address, Sir B. IL, Marylebutic Vestry.