The Press.
London, England, 1857-05-02 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

THE PREMIER'S ACADEMY SPEECH.

[As the dinner at the Royal Academy does not take place this year, we have much
pleasure in giving publicity to the address which it had been the intention of the
noble head of the Government to deliver upon that interesting occasion. We have
introduced the cheers and other demonstrations which we are sure the speech would
have elicited.]

Mr. President, my Lords, and Gentlemen. The living and the
dead are but as pictures, and it is the eye of childhood that fears a
painted devil—two remarks which I believe I have read in one of
Shakespeare's plays. We find ourselves surrounded by pictures, and
the quotation is therefore perfectly applicable ; and as it is a difficult
thing to say anything new where people have met for so many years
for the purpose of complimenting one another, one is grateful for a
citation that launches one at once in mediae res. As for a painted devil,
I ought to add that I do not at this moment see one, and I am rather
glad of it, for the individual referred to is one whom I have always
been desirous to—to—to disfranchise, if my noble friend the Member
for London will allow me to make use of the word. (Laughter.)
Still, lam quite sure that if it had been necessary for any of th

334

accomplished artists whom I see around me to paint that—that—
individual, they would have succeeded in the effort, and I am sure,
as impartial and right-minded men, would not have painted him
blacker than he is. (Applause.) Mr. President and Gentlemen, I pro-
fess myself without affectation to be a great admirer of the noble art
to whose interests these dinners are devoted. If I might say so, lam
a kind of dabbler in it myself. I recently had to sketch a view of
operations in China, and, although it certainly was objected that I had
rather brought the background into the foreground and introduce d in
some false lights—(Hear, hear —there was no denying, I believe, the
strength of my treatment, or the brilliancy of my colouring. So that
I may call myself an artist—in fact, if you will allow me to say so, I
am a wholesale artist, for I made an exhibition of myself. (Cheers.)
Gentlemen, I was detained so long at my office—l won't say whether
I was engaged in the details of a Reform Bill or not, because I think
with so many good pictures around me it would be an insult to hint
at amended representation.—(loud cheers)—but I was detained so long
that I have not had an opportunity of looking round the rooms.
But if your canvass has been as lucky as mine, you will have no cause
to grumble. (Hear, hear.) I don't see a picture of my noble friend
the Member for London. There was one a year or two ago, which was
exactly like Mr. Charles Kean. I think you ought to have one of me,
this year, that should also be like Mr. Charles Kean, because he has
been playing with great éclat my character of Richard 11., which you
know I took at the time of the Sebastopol rebellion. (Great laughter.)
I think you should paint my noble friend as Bolingbroke, because
people say that he would like to dethrone me, poor Richard. (Roars
of laughter, in which Lord John Russell joined.) When I say " poor
Richard," it reminds me of proverbs, of which you know I am rather
fond, and there is a proverb that occurs to me when I think of my
noble friend the Member for London, namely, that you shouldn't sell
the bear's skin before you have killed him. However, a truce to
politics, which, indeed, I should not have introduced at all,
but that my noble friend keeps glancing so continually
at that picture of King John putting his name to a little
matter, and I can't help thinking that my noble friend
will have something to say about that parchment the King is signing.
(Laughter.) lam very glad to see that you, Mr. President, have
invited several other friends of mine. I see my friend the Chan-
cellor of the Exchequer, and I am pleased to behold him taking a
little pleasure, for his work is cut out, I can tell him. To adopt an
artistic phrase, " with figures, and a storm coming on "—that de-
scribes where my friend will be. (Laughter.) Ah ! he won't laugh,
and you may paint him, if you like, as " Ulysses opening the budgets,
and raising the wind." ( Laughter.) By the way, it was not Ulysses,
but his men, and as my classical friend is particular about Greek
mutters, I correct myself. I observe, too, that you have got my friend
the Lord Chancellor, and I wish that some of the sculptors would take
him in hand, and make him their apprentice, because then, perhaps,
he would learn to cut a prettier figure than at present. (Applause)
However, he means to be a good boy this half, and to do away with the
scandal that says that in his place in the Lords he resembles the pro-
portions in Falstaff's tavern bill—a halfporth of law to an enormous
lot of sack. Who else da I see ? My friend the Whip, who made the
blunder on Thursday, and appointed the wrong time for the meet.
He has got hard work before him, too, for he has to learn the names
and ways of a load of men whom he never saw or heard of before, and
he has to convince every one of them that he is the finest fellow in the
world, and destined for office, if he will only take care to vote right
and regularly. He'd make a good study for Noah, driving the queer
beasts, two and two, into the Ark—(laughter)—if any of you are in that
line of art. Well, Mr. President, we have had a remarkably
good dinner, for which we are very much your debtors, and I notice
the delicate attention of putting a willowpattern plate before me. It
reminds me, as it was intended to do, of my dear friends the Chinese,
but for whom I might have been hanging my harp upon a willow of
my own. They are a very delightful nation, but you must observe
that they do not understand perspective ; and I am quite sure that, as
artists, you must all feel that it is our duty as a civilised people to
give them that knowledge in common with other blessings, and there-
fore that you will all Sympathise in Dr. Bowring's war. I will only add
that if I can promote the prosperity of art in any way during the
coming session it will give me very sincere pleasure to do so ; and,
though I can't supply you with any /ay-figures, I'll make as many
bishops as I can for you, and you know

'Tis from high life high characters are drawn ;
A saint in crape is twice a saint in lawn.

(Applause.) Mr. President, my Lords, and Gentlemen, I beg to return
you my best thanks, and to express in all seriousness my hope for the
prosperity of the Royal Academy, whose works no good judge can
condemn, though they ought all to be hung as soon as possible. (Long
and rapturous cheers, especially from the Lord Chancellor, who has compre-
hended this last joke )

REPRESENTATION OF CALNE.
General Williams, of Calne and Kars,
Is a shockingly obstinate son of Mars,
And won't give way to entreaty ;
A strong objection he seeing to feel
To resign the borough to Frederick Peel,
Or the city to General Kmety.

434

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