The Press.
London, England, 1856-03-08 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

NI

gATIMDAY

parts of the theatre were indulging themselves in the pleasures of the
carnival. Poor musicians who have lost their instruments, and artisans
who have lost tools and work, are fit objects of public sympathy, but
appeals to the public will we fear be made in vain, unless it is distinctly
understood that relief is to he confined to such classes of seferers.
It is rumoured that the theatre will not be re-erected, as his Grace the
.Duke of BEDFORD has long wished for the site to build a kind of
public conservatory. The design is not a bad one, but we should be
sorry to see the last of the famous old " Garden."

LORD PANMURE TO GENERAL SIMPSON.
Some talk of Redan Massey, and some of Colonel Yeas,
Of Canrobcrt and Raglan, and such game-cocks as these ;
But of all Crimean heroes there's none that can compare
With Dow—

(General Simpson,per telegraph "Repeat.")
With Dow-biggin—Dow, of nepotical career.

We've lost so many generals, no other I've at hand,
So of the British army you'll please to take command.
Lick the Russians if you can, Sir, but remember you take care
Of Dow biggin—Dow, of nepotical career.

And when the weather's fine and clear, report it rather murk,
Look out for stalking horses to bear our dirty work.
But, whatever may befal our men, remember you take care
Of Dow-biggin—Dow, of nepotical career.

FIRST APPEARANCE OF A CABINET
LEC TURER.

His GRACE THE DUKE OF ARGYLL gave an entertainment of a novel
character to the Cabinet Ministers a few days since. Deploring their
want of scientific knowledge, he inveigled them to his house by means
of an invitation to dinner ; and, as soon as the wine had passed
round, he rose to his full height at the head of the table and proposed,
as lecturing was now popular in all circles, to deliver himself of some
scientific knowledge he had lately acquired, in a form which, as his
Grace condescendingly observed, " would be intelligible to the meanest
capacity." As his guests knew that when he was once on his legs it
was a difficult matter to get him down again until he had blown off his
steam, they exchanged glances that it was best to let him exhaust
himself without interruption ; and, accordingly, ho proceeded to
deliver himself of a vast quantity of scientific matter with which he
had been cramming himself for some days previously. _

He began by observing that the reason why people in general did
not take a more active interest in scientific pursuits was, because they
did not perceive any practical application of science to their own par-
ticular business. Often people were acting on scientific principles
when they did not know it. Man was an hydraulic machine as re-
garded the circulation of the blood.
PAM. (from bottom of the table): In fact, a pump.
ARGYLL : Yes, in one sense man was a pump. He had succeeded
in interesting many people on science by telling them things ticy
never knew before. What he now proposed was to make science easy
to his hearers, by practical applications of its principles. In mechanics,
for instance, as they would find stated in that profound work Joyce's
Dialogues, matter would remain at rest or continue in uniform motion
until compelled by some force to change its state. This was called the
inertia of matter. Now, there was also the inertia of Government. If a
ball was on the ground, there it would lie until you gave it a knock.
when it would go the way you knocked it; and if some one else struck
it another way, then it would go in that direction. This was exactly
the state of her Majesty's Government. Its natural tendency was
inertia, but it would move in any direction according to the impelling
force it sustained. It would go any way you chose to kick it. The
knowledge of this fact might be useful to gentlemen who wanted to
make the Government serve their own purpose. Then matter was of
various degrees of hardness. Some kinds could be squeezed into any
shape, resembling his Noble Friend at the head of the Government;
and other kinds were so hard and obstinate, like his Noble Friend at
the head of the War Department, that you might hammer away at them
for ever without making the least impression upon them. Next he
came to chemical affinity. There were bodies which had no natural
kind of affinity for each other, but which could be combined by
other substances. No one could say that the Members of the Govern-
ment had any natural affinity for each other. How, then, were they
kept together? That was an important question. What was the most
useful solder for uniting metals, and what kept the parts of the Ad
ministration tog ether ?
PAM . : Brass 1

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