The Press.
London, England, 1856-01-05 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

JANUARY 5, 1856•

The sale will commence on the 31st and be completed
as rapidly as possible without any reserve. Though possessing
little or no intrinsic value, the specimens aro curious, partly on account
of their age and condition, but chiefly from the singularity of having
been all collected into one cabinet. The approaching dispersal of the
collection has excited much interest, both among amateurs and the
public in general.

13

Sir C. WOOD : Certainly, certainly, and I quite understand your
case. The Admiralty directs, I think, that all lights shall be put out
at a certain hour. Well, you object to this. Now, it is clear to me
that the object of this order was to prevent fire. Well, now, fire is a
very shocking thing—eh—don't it strike you in that light? (Sensation.)
Mr. B. OSBORNE (aside): Answer that, old Strike-a-light.
Captain KELsox : Avast there—
Sir C. Woon : I shall be happy to avast, or do anything else to
oblige you, there or anywhere else, consistently with my duty. But
really, Captain, fires at sea are soffrequent and so dreadful that I think
you must see the propriety of this maritime curfew. " Curfew tolls
the knell of parting day," eh, you know ?
Mr. B. OSBORNE (aside): Day and Betty Martin.
Sir C. WOOD (aside): Don't be so flippant.
Mr. B. OSBORNE (aside): Why not ? Flip's a nautical drink.
Captain KELSON : We ask your pardon. But it's clear we don't
understand one another.

Mr. B. OSBORNE : Better go out, my good man, and confer together
until you do. The time of her Majesty's Government is precious.
Captain KELSON : Who are you ? Speak when you are spoken to.
I thought, by your showing us in, you was the wally out of uniform.
Don't shove in your oar. I mean that the First Lord and us don't
understand one another. It's nothing about lights in that point of
view, Sir Charles. It's the lights we hang out at night to warn other
vessels

Sir C. Woou Ah ! I see. I must have read the memorial hastily.
Well, and what are these lights ?
Captain KELSON : Lanterns, Sir Charles.
Mr. B. OSBORNE : And the tar who hangs them out is called Jack
wi the Lantern.

Sir C. Wool): Just so, Captain. And you want an improvement
—something more in accordance with the spirit of the age You want
your ships lit up with gas, I suppose? Well, I see no objection, if it
can be done. The pipes seem to me, as a practical man, the difficulty ;
but possibly you might have your gas tube inserted in your cable, and
so paid out—eh ?—isn't that the word ? Not quite a lubber, you see.
Another CAPTAIN : 'Scuze me, Sir, but that's all my eye. The case
is this, how•dumsoever. The Admiralty says to us, hang out a bright
light. We hangs out a bright light. Consequence is, man at look-out
can't tell whether a ship's close aboard or not, or what tack she's on ;
then comes a collision, and all hands to Davy Jones.
Sir C. Woon: I understand perfectly. Highly distressing. And
you look to me for a remedy. You have a right to do so Well now,
I'll tell you. I was observing the other night, as 1 drove along the
Strand, a long glass box, or transparency, with coloured letters, and
gas inside. I forget the words: they announced some foolish exhi-
bition—but that's no matter. Take the hint, and have such a box on
your masthead, with moveable slides, to suit the emergency. On one
side inscribe " Port your mainbrace ;" on another, " Haul your lee-
scuppers apeak ;" and so on. (A very rude roar of lauyhter.) Well,
Gentlemen (tartly), lam glad you are amused. I think the suggestion
a good one. Perhaps you have one of your own ?
Captain KELSON (as soon as the Iguyhter had subsided): Well, Sir
Charles, we humbly think we have.
Sir C. WOOD: Out with it. Perhaps upon your rough notion I may
be able to found something for you.
Captain KELSON : First, Sir Charles, instead of one light, we should
like two.

Sir C. WOOD : Two ;—proceed. I think everything should be
looked at in two lights.
Captain KELSON : One of these green, the other blue.
Sir C. Wow): Certainly not. How very ridiculous ! Green is the
colour of the sea, and blue of the sky ; and how can such colours be
distinguished from the expanse around ?
Captain KELSON : Not much blue and green after dusk, Sir
Charles. _ _

Sir C. Wood: That depends. No, no, we'll say red and yellow.
Red for the light at the bowsprit, yellow for the light at the rudder.
All the CAPTAINS Bowsprit and rudder be ! Who's to see
lights there ?
Sir C. WooD: Ah ! perhaps there may be something in that.
Put the lights where you please, then; but mind they don't go out.
Captain KELSON A bit of ropes-end prevents that, Sir Charles.
Sir C. WooD : What, used as a wick ?
Captain KELSON ; No, Sir, used as a cat.
Mr. B. OSBORNE : I see—a joke about a cat and lights ; but—
Sir C. WooD: No, no, be serious. What do you mean, Captain?

Captain KELsoN : A bit of rope's-end laid over the shoulders of
the first skulk that lets his lantern out keeps the others uncommon
well trimmed. No more fear of their going out, until put out, than
there is of your doing it, if I may be so bold.
Mr. B. OSBORNE : Goo d—good—very good ! Quite up to my
mark—quite.
Captain KELsox (eyeing him discontentedly). Tell ye what, my lad, I
can't say whereabouts your mark may be now, but I know where you'd
carry one about half an hour after you was aboard with me.
Sir C. WOOD : Gentlemen, I will give your wishes every considera-
tion, and my decision shall be communicated to you. At present I
incline to light your ships with gas, so that they may be perceived
at any distance ; while your sailors, for whose moral advancement
we are bound to provide, will be able to improve their minds by
reading during the watches. But I will consult my colleagues. Good
morning to you.
The deputation then withdrew, expressing to the servants all the
way down stairs, and to the porter in the hall, their conviction that
the First Lord of the Admiralty was an unmitigated humbug.