The Press.
London, England, 1857-04-04 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

APRIL 4, 1857.

THE MIDDLESEX ELECTION.

THE Electors of Middlesex must be on their guard against one thing.
They must not suffer the Metropolitan County to bo made a Jewish
borough. Baron ItomsentLD, on the hustings on the day of nomi-
nation, took Lord ROBERT GRosVENOR in one hand and Mr. HANBURY
in the other, and said:—" These are MY candidates." This dictation is
intolerable. It must be resisted. All Middlesex is not the Stock
Exchange, and we are much mistaken in tho spirit of the electors if
they do not indignantly resist this attempt to return the nominees of
Baron ltomscini.n as their representatives. We have no doubt the
Baron was perfectly sincere ; we have no doubt he did believe that
his recommendation of the Ministerial candidates would be quite suffi-
cient to insure their return. We havejno doubt also that Lord ROBERT
GROSVENOR and Mr. HANBURY felt infinitely obliged by Baron
ROTHSCHILD'S patronage, and willingly subscribed any pledges he
proposed as the price of his favour. But we are not the less satisfied
that if their worst enemy had devised a scheme for disgusting the
elecors with their candidature, he could not have done so more
effectually than by exhibiting them in the degrading attitude of Baron
ROTHSCHILD'S nominees. The great capitalist might be contented, one
would think, with his own return for London, without endeavouring to
make a pocket borough of Middlesex.
If ever candidate deserved the hearty and uncompromising sup-
port of his political friends, it is Lord CHELSEA. Ho has come forward
at the eleventh hour to prevent the total usurpation of the metropo-
litan representation by the combined forcea of Liberalism, Treasury
funds, and, we now see, of Jewish dictation. We do not pretend to
disguise the odds against which he has to contend, but his gallantry
should rally the independent electors of the county to his support. He
asks one vote from the electors who, whatever may be their political
opinions, would uphold the independence of the county, and a plumper
from every sound Conservative. Let his friends be early at the poll on
Monday, and, in spite of Baron ROTHSCHILD'S boasted influence, we be-
lieve Lord CHELSEA will be the chosen of Middlesex.

We have received a long and detailed account of the trial of the
prisoner ALum for poisoning the bread at Hong Kong. That trial has
resulted in an acquittal all but unanimous, five out of the six judges
being in his favour; and we cannot doubt that when our readers come
to examine the evidence, they will be of opinion that no other verdict
could have been returned. The chief points in favour of Aunt are,
that he was engaged in large business transactions at Hong Kong,
that he possessed great property in the town, and that his own family
were made ill by the very same bread which he was supposed to have
poisoned. That arsenic had been thrown into the flour by somebody
seems beyond dispute, but the attempt to bring it home to Aram has
completely broken down. The proceedings do not seem to have been
conducted with quite that degree of regularity to which we are accus-
tomed in England. The prisoner seems to have been confined in a
very objectionable species of dungeon, and the Friend of China,
from which we derive our information, though against the
prisoner, does not hesitate to admit that " throughout the whole of
" the proceedings in connection with this case we have evinced a want
"of impartiality." The Attorney-General, Mr. CH►SHOLM ANSTEY—Of
quondam Loudon celebrity—who was intrusted with the prosecution,
declares also that he himself cannot be impartial, and finishes with an
appeal to the jury, which, we venture to say, he would have been per-
mitted to deliver in no court in England. Ho bade them bring in a
verdict against the prisoner, because otherwise a bad precedent would
be established, and warned them not to let the Chinese suppose that
criminals would escape punishment because they were not convicted.
If this is not a gross misrepresentation of his words—and it is reported
by a friendly newspaper—it is a mixture of balderdash and impertinence
which only shows how unfit Mr. ANSTEY ►s for the post to which he has
been appointed. 1n spite, however, of the fulminations of this legal
luminary—and in spite, moreover, of the violent excitement which
must naturally have prevailed among English residents—a jury of
Englishmen at once acquitted the accused, doing much, let us hope, by
their courageous verdict to counteract the impression produced at
Canton by the violent conduct of the British authorities.

TWO OUSTED MINISTERS.
SCENE.—COCKSPUR STREET.
Ammo, 11— RIC—T.---Y, late 31. P. for Gloucester, meets Mr. UNDEY•SECRETARY P-1.,
lute 31. P. for Bury, and the following dialogue ensues :
ADMIRAL—SaiI ahoy ! Shiver my timbers if it isn't the Frederick,
from Bury, in distress. Run into by the Socinian, eh?
UNDER•SECRETARY.—COnfOUnd him, yes. And you, my dear
Admiral, have not had much better luck. They were tired of you at
Gloucester, it seems. What will our big brother at the Cas•le say?
ADMIRAL.—Left swearing when our reporter came away. Have
you seen any of our fellows ?
UNDER-SF.CRETARY.—NO ; the duties of my office will not permit
me to waste time in visits.
ADMIRAL—What's the good of talking to me like that, Fred ! But,
I say, weren't you plaguily astonished at finding yourself licked ? How
did you manage, or rather mismanage, it ?

337

UNDER-SECRETARY.—I can't Conceive. We thought it WaS all
right, of course, or else—
ADMIRAL.—Or else it should have been made so. Quite proper
and shipshape.
UNDER SECRETARY.—My dear Admiral. your political education
was acquired at a time when a most objectionable and corrupt tone of
feeling prevailed, and you have never got rid of its influences.
Between 1788 and 1823, the respective dates of our births, moral
changes took place which a 11—rk—l—y may not appre.liate. Still,
your allusions—
ADMIRAL.—Why, you young Maworm, is that the way you presume
to talk to a man who had fought no end of battles before you were
born ? Upon my soul, the impudence of the new generation is some-
thing! Will Palmerston make you give up your place?
UNDER-SECRETARY.—If it had been proper for me to resign, I
should not have needed a hint from Lord Palmerston or anybody
else. I suppose you won't. as it dues not much signify whether a Lord
of Admiralty is in Parliament or not.
ADMIRAL.—That's your notion, is it, young one? Well, keep it.
But, I say, it is rather odd that you amt I should be the two in the
Ministry who were marked out for bad luck.
UNDER-SECRETARY.—It is—not, b 3 the way, that there is any such
thing as luck, you know.
ADMlRAL.—llevil there isn't !

UNDER-SECRETARY.—Don't use that kind of language.
ADMIRAL—What kind of language ? You'll be saying next that
there isn'tany such thing as a devil. You're profane, Mr. Fr—d P—l.
But, apart from that, and between you and me and the marlingspike,
I wish that the mischief had fallen somewhere else.
UNDER-SECRETARY.—AIIis no doubt for the best; but it-would have
been more convenient had circumstances arranged themselves
differently.
ADMIRAL.—If a brother Lord of Admiralty, now, had gone out in-
stead of myself?
UNDER-SECRETARY.—I should have deeply regretted it. But I own
that had the exceedingly objectionable levity of your Secretary received
a rebuke at Dover—

ADMIRAL.—Yes, you and Bernal are the Joseph and Charles
Surface of the Ministry, and naturally Judah vexes Ephraim. But it
is better as it is—we can get twenty clever, decorous, uncivil clerks,
like you, for one rattling speaker, who, by the way, does his business
just as well as you do. By the way, there's Ball, and there's Monck,
both in the same bout with us.

UNDER-SECRETARY —Neither worth speaking of. I am not dis-
posed to treat matters with more importance than they deserve, but I
confess to you that the Bury election seems to be a severe blow to the
Cabinet.

ADMIRAL.—Tt's bad, no doubt, that a nrominent official should be
floored; but I think Pam might got over your loss. I remember, some
months ago, that nobody knew whether you were in office (a. not, and
bets ran even about it; but the Administration survived the crisis.
But I can't make out how you lost Bury. I thoitv,lit it was in your
hands. What was that story about the clown in the circus °
UNDER-SECRETARY.—Oh, a bagatelle ! I did it with the best in.
tent ions.

ADMIRAL.—Did what, my boy? Come, don't look as miserable as
a pound of soap after a week's wash, but out with it. You went into
the ring (wasn't it so?) and addressed the spectators from the saw-
dust ?

UNDER-SECRETARY.—No, no, ridiculous; nothing of the sort.
ADMlRAL—Something of the sort, because I had a bill of the per
formance sent me, and your name is on it in largo letters,
UNDER-SECRETARY (startled).—Eli? 0, yes, of course. I patronised
the circus one night.
ADMIRAL.—I know. P. Funky's circus. You were P. Funky for
that night only, and by particular desire.
UNDER-SECRETARY --Fanque was the person's name, Admiral, and
upon that night I had not the least idea of a defeat.
ADMIRAL.—But what about your appearance in the ring? Didn't
you sing a song about yourself ?
UNDER-SECRETARY (indignantly).—You know I didn't.
ADMIRAL —What ? Didn't you write one?
UNDER-SECRETARY.—I refuse to answer impertinent questions;
ADMIRAL.—Ha! ha! But a song was sung in the circus.
(sings.) " Wait till to-morrow,
Wait till to-morrow,
Then be early on the ground;
With courage and zeal
Poll for Mr. Peel,
And all go bobbing around."
UNDER-SECRETARY.—I say, remember you're in the street. You'll
have a crowd about us.
ADMIRAL.—I don't care. Wasn't that the song?
UNDER-SECRETARY.—I believe that a person in motley, a clown at
M. Fanque's. in fact, may have shown his gratitude fur my patronage
by some such song; but I did not hear it.
ADMIRAL.—On honour, now, did you not write it? Don't bo
ashamed to own it, if you did. It does you credit. I only wish I
could have made one for those rapscallions at Gloucester. I'd have
had it sung all over the town. Write us one, Fr—d, and I'll send it
down. What's a rhyme to B—rk—l—y ?
UNDER-SECRETARY.—If you sound it like that, " darkly " and
" chunkily"; and if you sound it properly, " smirkily " and " shirkily."
Will any of those epithets suit your book, my dear Admiral? They
are quite at your service. Good day. [Exit.
ADMlRAL.—There's a saucy young son of a sea-cook. But I'm
blowed if I don't believe he did go into th• ring and sing after all .
Peel and sawdust ! My eye !1