The Press.
London, England, 1856-01-12 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

GRATIFYING ANNOUNCEMENT.

AMONG the fashionable intelligence published by our daily contem-
poraries we find an announcement of the gratifying fact that Lord John
Russell is once more in a state which promises an increase to the
domestic felicity of the happy Whig family. His Lordship, we rejoice to
learn, is about to become the parent of another Reform Bill. Numerous
as the offspring of the Noble Lord have already become, the public
will hail with undiminished satisfaction an occurrence so calculated at
once to augment the happiness of an exalted house, and to promote
the harmless merriment of the nation. Mr. Bernal Osborne and Mr.
Milner Gibson have, we understand, been engaged as dry-nurses to
the expected bantling , and Sir B. Hall has offered to officiate as god-
mother at the foot. The auspicious event will probably come off
between the 31st of March and the 2nd of April next.

THE APOLOGIST REWARDED
" Whom shall we hang?"
Is off to Penang,
With a place of 2.0001. a year;
The book was a sham,
And we think my Lord Pam
Buys his whitewash excessively dear.

MEANING OF MR. COBDEN'S PANI"HLET. " What Next ?"—Next to

nothing.

A CONTRAST.
The Roman's triumph reached its height of pride
As the " cars climbed the Capitol's " steep side.
The symbol is reversed in modern wars—
Our shame broods darkest o'er the tall oti Kars.

ANIJARY 12, 1856.

OUR FLEET IN THE BALTIC.
He should have a stout heart who would drive an engine or fish for whales; but weak, in-
deed, must be the nerves of that wan who would fear the prospect of a modern Baltic cam-
paigu.—Times of last week.
Ay, stout should be his heart,
And strong us steel his frame,
Who lonely sits apart,
Blinded with wind and flame,
To guide the mighty engine on its path;
Calm 'mid the sultry heat,
Laughing at snow and sleet,
And when the lightnings fleet
Flash in wrath.
And brave as were of old
Our seamen staunch and true,
Who scorned to dig for gold
In the dark mines of Peru,
But found their wealth in galleons of Spain,
Should the sturdy fishers be
Who sail the Northern Sea
When the storm-winds are let free
On the main.
But admirals who seek
A pleasant Baltic cruise
Ye may be soft and meek,
And men of cautious views,
With an unaffected hate of ba la of lead.
For 'mould really vex a saint
How tbey knock away the paint
And spoil the carvings quaint
On figurehead.
Ye sailors who're inspired
With the ancient love of fame,
Whose generous souls ate fired
With wrath at England's shame,
And rage to see her glorious laurels droop,
Be ye captains or young mates,
Cursing your cruel fates,
In frigates or first-rates,
Deck or poop,
Thus shut out from renown,
How bitter ye must feel
As ye wander through the town
Of Stockholm or of Kiel,
And the Danes and Swedes with wonder all unfeigned
Learn that there's nothing done,
No battle fought and won—
Nay, that to fire a gun
You've abstained !
Oh, sailors of the fleet,
For you m) heart is sore
That tile foe ye may not meet,
Nor face the cannon's roar
From his batteries, as Nelson faced of old.
For you my eyes are wet,
But I trust that even yet
A leader ye may get
Staunch and bold,
Who'll bravely sail his ships
Where honour ye may gain,
Nor make mere summer trips
Upon the Northern main,
Disgracing England's flag before the world.
Once more upon the sea
Laurelled with victory
May that proud standard be
Soon unfurled !

MINISTERIAL CHRISTMAS TREE.
[From the Morning Past.]
TAE Premier, with his usual hospitality, concluded the Christmas
recess by giving a large party, nominally juvenile, but to which a great
nun her of his old and new friends were invited, and at which his col-
leagues were also present. The greatest hilarity prevailed, and when,
in the course of the evening, an apartment was thrown open in which
a magnificent Christmas Tree, profusely decorated with prizes, was dis-
covered, the brilliant and distinguished assemblage broke into actual
cheering. The company eagerly proceeded to draw their numbers
and some curious coincidences marked the allotment of the gifts
Lord Clarendon drew a cigar, in chocolate, and expressed much
pretended regret that it was only an imitation, a remark which elicited
a general opinion from the party that the noble Foreign Secretary
ought to be put into the schedule of the Smokey Chimneys Act.
Sir Charles Wood drew a little frigate, which he immediately pro-
ceeded to sail in a globe of gold fishes, and great amusement was
caused by its being dkcovered that the First I. ord of the Admiralty
was sailing his vessel stern foremost, and still more by his persisting
that it was all right.
Lord Panmure drew a tiny edition of the " Book of Etiquette," and
open ql it at the passage—" A man who wears his hat vulgarly is a
vulg,u•ian." His lordship said that this was very true, and could not
understand why the others laughed.
Lord Granville drew a Cupid.
Mr. Labouchere drew a bon-bon, representing a very long tongue.
Mr. Hayter drew a little pitcher, which Mr. 'Vernon Smith advised
it'll not to take too often to the 'Vella; but this attempt at sarcasm

was awfully castigated by the whipper-in, who said that " a little
pitcher" reminded him of Mr. Smith—because it had " long ears."
Sir George Grey drew a figure of the Ratcatcher's Daughter, and
went into a violent rage, at the shortest notice, at having a profane and
vulgar subject intruded upon him, and he went up stairs and angrily
read a hymn-book until supper-time.
Mr. James Wilson drew a hat in sugar, and learnedly pointed out
its imperfections of shape and make. He also explained the new pro-
cess for making artificial Beaver, which the Premier ridiculed, de-
claring he wouldn't wear a beaver that had never been worth a darn.
Lord Cranworth drew a seal, pocketed, and forgot it, and was terri-
fied out of his senses by a little girl coming up to him with, " Lord
Palmerston's compliments, and he must give up the Seal." Recol-
lecting himself, the Chancellor was greatly relieved, kissed the young
lady, and surrendered the prize.
The Duke of Argyll drew a little decanter, which gave him the
opportunity of delivering a lecture on the virtues generally, and espe-
cially temperance, and of defending himself for having laid down a law
that any of his tenants should be rejected who drank wine or spirits—
unless they paid more than 301 a year lent.
Admiral Napier drew a spelling book, which he gave to one of the
children, declaring that as for himself he was like "Tom" in the
"trim-built wherry," and " never more would take a Spell."
Admiral Berkeley drew a figure of an old donkey in a passion.
Mr. Vernon Smith, having recovered from Mr. Hayter, drew a
packet of powder warranted to clean white gloves without smell.
Being allowed another chance, he drew a bottle of Banduline.
Lord Palmerston drew a baby, and was overwhelmed with ques-
tions whether that was one of the babies who, as he had declared, were
born without original sin. We regret to state that his reply must re-
main unpublished, out it made the ladies turn away, laughing.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer drew an egg, and expressed
much pleasure, for it had, ho said, given him an idea. It is,
therefore, supposed that in the next Budget, which is to be " very
simple," he contemplates a direct tax upon daily necessaries, a
" popular" way, assuredly, of avoiding an addition to the income tax.
Sir John Villiers Shelley did his best to draw a chair, but a small
sac hung next, and somehow Sir John missed the chair and got the
sack. " Slow, but nut Sewer," said time Premier.