The Press.
London, England, 1854-01-07 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

12

THE MINISTERIAL TWELFTH NIGHT.
Tin CABINET held the usual Ministerial Twelfth Night party yesterday
evening, when not only were all the leading officials present, but the
small people also, such as Secretaries to the Treasury, lawyers, and
others. The Dukes, Marquises, and other aristocratic agents of the
Manchester school, agreed to put their dignity into their pocket for
that night only, by particular desire, and to mingle with the
Commoners on a footing of affability and equality, thus affording
another proof that, for the sake of the country, they are willing to
make any sacrifices, however repugnant to their feelings. But it is to
be feared that they did not feel much at ease, Lord Aberdeen espe-
cially. For very early in the evening an insolent remark of Lord
Palmerston's caused considerable unpleasantness. Looking at the
table, on which the usual Twelfth Night feast was laid out, the Viscount

said,
"I wonder who will be the first to cut that old cake."
Lord Aberdeen immediately took offence, declared that ford
Palmerston had looked at him, and that he had intended an irritating
hint as to the probable desertion of the Premier by one of the Cabinet.
It was of no use for Lord Palmerston to disclaim such intention, and
he made matters still worse, later in the evening. Sir James Graham,
advising another guest, who was cutting at the cake, to go boldly
through the ice, Lord Palmerston said that he hoped Admiral Dundas
had been told the same thing, on which Lord Aberdeen left the room,
and could only be brought back by Lord Clarendon assuring him
that he wanted to show him a despatch he had received, very unfavour-
able to Turkey. At this his Lordship recovered his cheerfulness, and
even took wine with the Home Secretary.
" Champagne ?" said the Viscount.
" No, no," said the Earl. " I stick to Port."
"I know you do," said Lord Palmerston, slily. There was danger
of a third disturbance, for the Home Secretary did, this time, glance
at a map of Turkey, but Mr. Bernal Osborne's " bold verdict catered
talk with Lords," and he came up to ask a riddle—" Why snow was
nothing at all?" The Premier began gravely to observe to Mr. Osborne
that this was an unphilosophical view of the subject, and to explain
the composition of snow; but Mr. Osborne did not seem to care about
this, and at a goodnatured nod from Lord Palmerston said, " Because
it's nix." On which the Premier declared he did not like slang, and
Lord Palmerston asked if the querist had got his Latin from Mr.
Paul Bedford.
Soon afterwards Twelfth Night characters were introduced, and
Mr. Wilson kindly offered to go round with the hat, as he said he
understood hats. We give some of the characters which were drawn,
and the riddles annexed. The latter are as bad, we think, as usual.
Sir FIERY POSITIVE (the Duke of Argyll) : The riddle was, " Why
am I like a man that floors a barrister ?" "Because I lay down the
law."
Mr. GOOSECAP GOODNATURE (Sir Charles Wood) : " Why am I like
a very bad conundrum ?" " Because everybody groans at me." " But
they don't," said Sir Charles—" it would be unparliamentary ;" and he
stuck the character on one of his brass buttons and went off delighted.
The Honourable WIDEAWAKE WEAZEL (Lord Palmerston) : " Why
am I like a man who has just measured his waist ?" " Because I
know what I am about."
Sir SOMNOLENT MonpnixE (Right Hon. E. hitrutt) : "Why am I
like the crater of Vesuvius ?" " Because the more noise about me the
wider I yawn."
Mr. CHATTERLY COCKER (the Chancellor of the Exchequer): " Why
am I like the Crystal Palace ?" " Because you can find nothing in me
but figures."
Lord COWARDY CUTTYSACK CUSTARD (the Earl of Aberdeen) : " Why
am I like a half-extinguished candle ?" " Because everybody calls me
a nuisance, and wishes I would go out."

Mr. SrARROWAY PEREER (Lord John Russell): " Why am I like
the Apteryx in the Zoological Gardens ?" " Because I can support
myself only by putting forward a preposterous Bill."
Sir HARLEQUIN DODGE (Sir James Graham) : "Why am I like a
City merchant ?" " Bialause lam generally about 'Change."
Mr. OWLEY MOONEY (the Lord Chancellor): "What ancient
d( I ref Ute?" " That there is always wisdom in a

(Sir William Molesworth) : "Why am I
am often found on Hobbes."

(the Attorney-General) : "'What is tlic
.odesty and Merit?" "They both begin

Sir POMPOUS PLATITUDE (the President of the Board of Trade) :
" Why am I like a crack confectioner?" " Because I am great in
trifles. "
Sir PROSY PREACHMENT (Mr. Frederick Peel) : " Why am I like the
London Sacred Harmonic Society?" " Because lam always ready
with a Surman."
Mr. FLICKERY FLACKERY (the Secretary to the Admiralty) : " Why
am I like a Brighton lady's ribbons ?" "Because the sea air has taken
all the smartness out of me. "
After everybody had drawn—and some of the guests were so
clamorous for characters that they might be suspected of having none
of their own—they all proceeded to another apartment, where a beau-
tiful Christmas Tree was prepared for them. Some of them instantly
prepared for a rush and a scramble, but the more decorous part of
the company kept them back, and Mr. Fitzroy threatened to call in
the police—his favourite remedy for everything, from the nightmare
to spillikins. So order was preserved, and, numbers being drawn
and called, they obtained as follows :
Lord ABERDEEN : A nightcap.
Lord PALMERSTON ; A. waiter, inscribed, " Coming, air. "
Lord CLARENDON : A cigar-case.
Lord JOHN RUSSELL: A Jew's harp—only it would not act.
The Duke of NEWCASTLE : The Canadian Boat Song, " The rapids
are near."
Mr. GLADSTONE : Some coloured Christmas candles which he at
once sent off to St. Baraabas's.
Lord CRANWORTH : A sac de suit, which will be useful in travelling
when he leaves the sac de laine.
Earl GRANVILLE : A memorandum-book—just what he wanted.
The Duke of ARGYLL: A box of lucifers.
Sir JAMES GRAHAM: A tee-to-turn, marked T. W. R., and P. He
could not think what the initials meant.
Sir CHARLES WOOD: An Indian puzzle, but he spoiled it directly.
Sir WILLIAM MOLESWORTH : A perfumed sachet—convenient when
a gentleman has to endure his constituents in the room. The impa-
tience of the others could be restrained no longer, and they ran in
upon the tree and stripped it in no time. Our reporter then left. He
heard Lord Palmerston telling Sir Charles Wood, in extreme confi-
dence, that it was quite time such a party should break up.

CARMEN AMTBJEUM,

BY MR. GLADSTONE AND LORD PALMERSTO/4,

In the characters of Horace and Lydia.

G.—While the Home-office seals were thine,
Blest in my faithful PAM'S alliance,
Calm I beheld the funds decline,
And bade the South Sea Stock defiance.

P.—While GLADSTONE, Oxford's darling child,
Presided o'er John Bull's finances,
Time was, at Democrats I smiled,
Nor heeded GRAHAM'S reforming fancies.

G.—Me JEMMY GRAHAM now makes his tool,
In cant and recant without rival,
In whom I only wish John Bull
Felt half the confidence that I feel.

P.—DISRAELI'S charms my bosom feels,
Whose name suggests the thought unpleasant(
That some have held Exchequer seals
When funds were higher than at present.

G.—What if by common interest lea
Once more to burn with mutual flame,
You treat DISRAELI, say, as dead,
And I throw over JEMMY GRAHAM ?

P.—Though he is versed in Tory arts,
And thou'rt, I fear, a ratting Middy,
Still, till mir Coalition parts,
I'll live and die colleagued with GLADDT:

proverb do I ref Ute ?" "
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