The Press.
London, England, 1856-11-22 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

NOVEMBER 22, 1856.

HUSTINGS ELOQUENCE.
These Radical folks are so fond of their jokes,
One really thought that it must be a hoax
When one heard that at Southwark poor Apsley Pellatt
And old Charlie (on whom they've bestowed a new hat,
Not before it was wanted, you'd think he had sat
On his old one, it looked so crushed, seedy, and flat)
Were invited to give an account of their Stewardship ;
And Charlie, who loves to dilate on each new hardship,
Floundered away
Like a porpoise at play,
Telling th' electors
That seventeen Hectors
Couldn't hold half his daring.
Then he fell a swearing ;
His ships were ill-manned
With sad lubber from land ;
No gunboats he'd got,
Or he'd soon sent to pot
The Grand Duke Constantine
And his ships of the line.
As it-was, the', he thought it a piece of good luck
That the Duke, like himself, was deficient in " pluck,"
For if he'd come out
There could be no doubt
(I think Charlie here was a little bit quizzing us)
He'd have sunk all our ships and ta'en all their crews prisoners.
With some harsh words of Graham
(A-id I cannot unsay 'em),
While Sir Robert Peel, too,
Got of pet names a few,
Which I think cn the whole were remarkably true,
Our Charlie down sat
And put on his new hat,
While the good Southwark folks called for Apsley Pellatt.
Your ears I'll not vex
With his prate of " crossed cheques,"
For his h's misplaced your poor brains would perplex;
But I think you'll agree
Very likely with me
Two duller old " parties " you don't often see
Than this Apsley Pellatt and his fellow M P.
And except in " the Borough " you don't often find
Electors to honour so stupidly blind,
That their favorite member's a sailor who'll tell us
That our English Jack Tars are a vile set of fellows,
Aud piously thank his good luck and kind stars
He escaped an engagement with men like the Czars !
\Vho'd have scattered us quite
If we dared to show fight,
Which we shouldn't have done, but have taken to flight.
Oh, I wonder St. Paul's
Doesn't shake to its walls.
And Nelson and Collingwood rise in their palls,
When here above ground
An Admiral's found
Such white-livered treason as this to expound ;
While the cheers of an audience of Britons resound
In praisa of their hero who's only renowned
For blustering speeches,
And wearing loose breeches,
And keeping his ships where no cannon-ball reaches.
But these good folks at Southwark are not much more dull
Than their Radical brothers at S'thampton or Hull,
Who invite Edwin James
To establish his claims,
And listen while he his perfection proclaims,
And blows his own trumpet, which they take for Fame's.
But little they think that this embryo judge
Has been talking what Goldsmith denominates " fudge; "
That at Brookes 's he sneers at Hull shippers as low born,
And to Hampshire's gone down to succeed his friend Cockburn.
Then at Sheffield our Roebuck is having 116 fling
At the Church, Crown, and people, and everything;
Contradicting poor Hadfield, who dared to make mention
Of his colleague's own topic of non-intervention,
And declaring that he
(Mr. Roebuck, Q C.)
Is the only authority, all will agree,
Who's empowered to say when a war's wrong or just,
And when he says a thing shall be, d---e it must.
When you wearily wade
Through the speeches they've made,
Hadfield and Roebuck, and James and Napier,
One thing will appear unmistakeably clear,
That our Radical statesmen, however they bounce
(On the hustings) and loudly our rulers denounce,
They never will vote 'gainst the Government's wishes
So lon g as that Government sells loaves and fishes.

TO

BIG BEN OF WESTMINSTER.
Big Ben ! of such a child as thee

Well may thy Godfather be proud;
Thou art as like him as can be,
As brazen, empty, hard, and loud !