The Press.
London, England, 1856-03-22 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

MARCH 22, 1856.

Governor-General considered desirable, as he tells us himself in his
• official proclamation, " British troops were stationed in close proximity
" to the King's person, and their aid has never been withheld when-
" ever his power was wrongfully defied." It is plain that if Lord
DALHOUSIE'S logic is to be held good, it would justify any case of
annexation that can be imagined; nor does it appear in what essen-
tial particular the seizure of Oude at the present day differs from
the seizure of Poland by the Northern Powers in the last century.
Lord DALHOUSIE has placed the British Legislature in a most
perplexing position. What is it to do? Shall it pass over this last
and most glaring case of annexation in silence, or shall it ar-
raign its justice, and call Lord DALHOUSIE to its bar? If
this last and most glaring case of annexation is to remain
unquestioned, a finishing stroke may as well be put to this
policy,. by the extinction of the last remnants of native govern-
ment in India. One point is to be borne in mind. Our respon-
sibilities increase with our power. If Oude is to be seized for the gc od
of the people, let us take care that they are really benefited by the
change. The talk we hear, that the revenue is to be trebled—raised,
that is, from 750,0001. to 2,000,0001.—d0es not seem to promise much
advantage to the people. To give them the equal benefits of British
law, to secure to them their rights of property, to open to them in
every possible way careers of industry, to diminish, not augment their
burdens, to free them from whatever savours of oppression—by these
means alone can IN e hope to escape the reproach of rank hypocrisy in
our dealings with the native States of India, and make reparation for
the wrong that has been done. It will be impossible to maintain much
longer the double system of government for India. The statesman
who shall resolutely grapple with the whole system of Indian admi-
nistration, and sound the depths of the needs of our Indian empire,
would be the greatest man of his time. But the star of his advent has
not yet shone forth.

"THE BRASS BAND."

Ilu robur et ces triplex
Circa pectus erat.—Hor.
Where's the Brass Band
That flourished so loudly,
And trotted so proudly,
And did the thing grand ?
Where's Keogh, the big drum,
Who, in gown silk and starch,
Struck up the " Rogues' March,"
And enlisted them—some?
The big drum at Moate,
That kept on a-drumming
" The long nights are coming,
Take heed how you vote.l
Where's the instrument dirty
That did not chance to hear
That bold tune and clear—
Where's Edmund O'Flaherty ?
The man whose " impressions"
Lord Naas won't swear for—
And nobody care for—
Except at the sessions !
Where's the serpent, Sadleir,
That played fast and loose?
Stonor, too, where's the use
Of his trumpet—ah, where ?
Where's James—second fiddle,
Whose part was his brother's ?
And where are the others ?
Echo says,: that's the riddle ! "
Clean gone's the Brass Band
That flourished so loudly,
And trotted so proudly,—
Clean gone from the land !

DISCOVERIES IN COVENT-GARDEN RUINS.
THE workmen intrusted with the care of the ruins of Covent-garden
Theatre continue, day by day, to make very interesting discoveries
among the debris. All articles found are carefully laid away in a neigh-
bouring apartment, to be claimed hereafter; for though the Duke of
Bedford, as ground landlord, began by asserting his right to treasure
trove, some of the treasures that were dug out proved to be of a nature
which rendered them nowise acceitable to his Grace. They will all
be duly advertised ; but, in the nit anime, we may be rendering ser-
vice by enumerating a few of the most recent discoveries.
Several Lumps of Unadorned Eloquence, supposed to have
dropped from Mr. Cobden at the time when the theatre was lent to
the Anti-Corn-Law League. The brass has been curiously fused, and
is now shown to have been the chief constituent of the article.
The "Piece of Paper" with which Mr. Cobden " crumpled up "
Russia at one of the League meetings. Some calculations of the cost
of only two years' war against her appears to have been subsequently
written on the hack.
Part of the Olive-Branch which Mr. Bright defiantly waved at the
" insensate idiots " who advocated the retaining our army and navy,
in the teeth of his reiterated assurances that European war was a
Physical impossibility as well as a moral enormity.
A Coagulated Lump of Shoddy Dust, supposed to have been ex-
Minted at the celebrated Free•trade Bazaar as one of the " legitimate
rseourees of unfettered trade."

Several hundred " Hs," of all sorts and sizes, dropped by various
Manchester orators in the course of their harangues.
Part of a Memorandum, "Reasons why I Rs.tted," written on the
back of the fragment of an invitation to a Court ball, the name scorched
and illegible, except the letters " Tho " " ilne," "Gibso."
The " Big Loaf ' held up at the Anti-Corn-Law meetings as the type
of what would result from the abolition of Protection. The figure
"4" is worn off, but somebody—from the writing apparently a poor
woman—has chalked " 111" in its place.
Sketch of a Mansion, with Park. to be presented to Mr. Cobden
for his share in procuring cheap food for the million.
Ears of Corn and Ears of a Donkey, worn by Sir Joshua
Walmsley, as a head-dress, at the Free-trade fete.
The Whistle sent by Mr. Cobden to Mr. Somerville, as a hint to
sign himself " One who has Whistled at the Plough," although he had
never done anything of the kind, wrapped up in Mr. S's. castigatory
letter, returning it, when he was thrown over by his employers.
A Bit of the celebrated Waistcoat, embroidered with the wheat-
sheaf inscribed " Free," with which an ingenious Freetrader " sold "
the late Sir Robert Peel, and the note expressive of that Baronet's in-
dignation.

A Bundle of American Newspapers produced by Mr. Bright to
show the superiority of the States press over that of England. They
are all partially eaten away, it is supposed by the rancorous and acrid
spirit of the libels contained in every one of them.
Model of a `• Morning Star," the bludgeon used by Norway watch-
men, and brought by Mr. Cobden from thence. The character of the
weapon is supposed to have suggested to him the title of a knock•you•
down Peace paper.
The list will be continued as may be desirable. The workmen
who know the building expect, after getting rid of the Manchester
deposits, to come upon the Bedford level, where it is thought some
curious discoveries will be made.

FRAGMENT OF A MINISTERIAL ODE ON
THE PROSPECT OF PEACE.
Now Peace extends her tranquil reign
(And puts an end to ours),
She brings ripe plenty in her train
(But all our grapes she sours).

No clarion calls us to the fight
(Sleep on, Lord Privy Seal),
Extinguished is the beacon light
(And so is Frederick Peel).

What though we met a check at Kars ?
(Poor Pan must go to pot.)
Sated and calm is cruel Mars
(But then Disraeli's not).

On every face there glows a smile,
A flush on every cueek
(I'll give you five to four, Argyll,
We don't stop in a week).

IMPORTANT INTELLIGENCE.

IT is whispered in the exclusive literary circles that a Commissioner
is about to be appointed by a Leading Journal, for the purpose of
furnishing information on the amount of plate in the possession of
the different householders of the United Kingdom. He will be known
as " Our own Commissioner of Spoons and Forks," and will be
required to make special periodic returns of the number of pieces in
actual use in different families, the number missing, and the number
in reserve. He will have also to report from time to time on the
necessity of fresh purchases, and to limit the sum expended on such
purchases. He will also have to communicate all births of infants
with spoons in their mouths, silver or golden. On the removal of
families Aim one residence to another, sufficient previous notice
having been given, he will appoint a subordinate:. to to called
" Packing Superintendent," who will preside over the packing up of
the family plate; will accompany the vehicles containing it to their
destination, distribute the beer-money to the drivers, and keep guard
over the plate during their temporary absence for purposes of refresh-
ment; he will report on the removal to his superior, who, in his turn,
will certify the same to the proprietors of the journal. All persons
possessing plate, and refusing to give notice of an intention to change
their residence, will be exposed in leading articles, to be compounded,
from time to time, by a powerful "comic man" on the establishment.
Should the principle of the appointment be found to promote the
public advantage—and the circulation of the journal—it is stated to
be the intention of the proprietor to extend its application, and to
thrust the editorial nose not only into the Pantry, but also in the Coach-
house, the Stable, and the Dungheap, where for the present we will
leave it. Z•

SONG TO PAM.
Aaa—" Local Dues."
Cowardy, cowardy, custard !
When Robert Lowe had blustered,
Who quaked, and struck,
Nor even pluck
For a single battle mustered?