The Press.
London, England, 1854-11-04 00:00:00

RESS.

1045

NAVAL AND MILITARY PREPARATIONS.
Tux greatest activity now prevails in the public departments, and her
Majesty's Ministers are continually occupied in providing means, fur
the prosecution of the war.
The Duke of Newcastle has consented to receive instructions as
to his official duties from the reporting staff of the Times. He is
directing his attention specially to the recent improvements in
gunnery, upon which he has the advantage of consulting with an
intelligent compositor.
Mr. Gladstone has had an important correspondence with the
Lady Superior of the New Order of Reintegrated Magdalene. Some
of the sisterhood will at once proceed to Scutari. They will take with
them a collection of tracts and ecclesiastical toys, with several
hogsheads of holy water. The latter will be entered as " chloride of
lime," to protect it from the prejudices of the longshore-men who voted
for Lord John Russell. The hospital cases will be put under the
care of distressed needlewomen, who have been re-exported from the
Antipodes out of compliment to Mr. Sidney Herbert. They will bo
expected to take charge of the spoons and table linen in the event of
the occupation of the palace of Prince Woronzow.
A trial has been made of a new stimulating cordial prepared by
the successor of M. Soyer at the Reform Club. It is supposed to have
peculiar efficacy in cases of sea sickness, and Sir James Graham has
given orders that a supply should be immediately sent to Admirals
Napier and Dundas To prevent the escape of its effervescing
qualities it will be hermetically sealed and packed in chaff, the packing
to be superintended by Mr. Bernal Osborne. The bottles will bo
labelled separately with the motto " Bravo, Charley !"
To protect our sailors from undue exposure in the Black Sea a
warm winter's jacket has been devised under the superintendence of
the Premier. It is called the " Gordon check ; " and, independently
of the texture of which it is fabricated, its novelty consists in the
sleeves being firmly attached to the body so as to preclude the possi-
bility of undue muscular exertion. Its merits are said to have been
tested by Admiral Dundas ; but as yet its general adoption has been
prevented by the prejudices of Sir Edmund Lyons and other sailors
of the old school. To beguile the tediousness of prolonged inaction
it is further ordered that the sailors be regularly exercised at chess,
draughts, dominoes, loto, and long whist. In a spirit of con-
siderate attention each of our soldiers is to be furnished with a copy
of Dr. Watt's Hymns. The most beneficial effects are anticipated
from the mental distraction they will produce. As the soldiers are heard
chanting around their camp fires, " Let dcgs delight to bark and bite,"
&c., it is hoped that the gunners of Sebastopol may be touched with
contrition, and draw their charges of grape and canister. At all
events, familiarity with these humanising strains will serve as a pre-
paration for the coming peace, to the hope of which, as the Premier
told the Bailie of Aberdeen, he has always clung "with desperate

tenacity."
Should the war appear likely to be protracted beyond the present
quarter, it is said that Mr. Gladstone will modify the peace budget he
was about to bring forward on the meeting of Parliament, and that he
will impose an excise duty of ten shillings per quarter upon home-grown
wheat. In the event of the war continuing through the winter, Mr.
Robert Lowe will be despatched to the North Cape, where ho will
exercise his peculiar faculties of vision during the continuance of
the Arctic night in observing the Russian movements in the port of
Archangel.
In order to intercept the Russian reinforcements intended for the
Crimea Sir Charles Wood is occupied with a plan for fortifying the
Isthmus of Suez.
In the event of any unforeseen disaster Lord John Russell holds
himself ready to take the command of our combined naval and
military forces. In this event his fourth Reform Bill will be
consigned to the joint care of Lord Palmerston and Sir Benjamin

ANOTHER IRISH DIFFICULTY.
JAXES.B PARK.—Lord J— R-11, who has been taking a strictly eonstitn-
tional walk, encounters Lord P n.

Lord P.: Ah! R— —1 ! How are you? Capital weather fur
walking exercise, isn't it? But I wish they would not let those snobs
smoke in the parks—it spoils the atmosphere.
Lord J.: Add a clause preventing it to your smoke bill next ses-
sion. We'll all support you, and Clarendon shall be told that he must
submit.

Lord P.: The process won't be new to him.
Lord J.: Not exactly. By the way, how you went on about babies
at Romsey, saying that they were all born good, and so forth.
Lord P. (laughiny): Well, wasn't it the thing to say?
Lord J.: A zoological blunder and a theological heresy. But
never mind—the mothers liked it, and you are " always proud of the
approbation of the female part of the nation," you know.
Lord P.: That depends—and, apropos of that, how's Abby ?
Lord J. (testily): How should I know? I say—l am very glad to
have met you—walkup and down for five minutes. This is a nice affair
in Ireland. isn't it?
Lord P. : I never read the foreign news now. What is it?
Lord J.: No, be serious a minute. I mean that Lucas affair.
Lord P.: Frankly, I have not read it. You know my estimate of
such animalcule. When they are to be scrunched Ido my best, but