The Express.
London, England, 1864-05-05 00:00:00

LATEST SPORTING INTELLIGENCE

(IT rumen Tzraourit.)
CHES/ILS MEETING.(YBIB DAY.)
DEE STAND CUP.
Embry 1
Dooms 2
HANDICAP PLATE.
Ponatotott
Dermot Asthote . 2
5 roa.
THE DERBY.
18 to 1 sigot Blair Athol (t).
DEE STAKES. Milo sod • halt.

Hartle Hill. Hyreettne, Calaway, See Boy, Teddy, Srreo,
Solos, Green.* Prescription, Crises, Fisberman'a Daugliter,
cad Chewy Hill are hoe.
. . _ .

PAID Four.—Loagehamp, Oratorio, Brandy-Wine,
and Mountain Deer o.
MARQUIS OF WESTMINSTER'S PLATE. About •
mil* sad • quarter.
Despair, Donnybrook. Little Stag Doane, Greenland,
Wind, Danaus,and Lady deTratisird aro bare.

--
PAID Ft:arm—King al Utopia and Whitothoras.
ENTRY FOR £4O HANDICAP PLATE. Half a mile.

Lady Louisa. 8.4121 b ; Tar:stoma, Bst 81b ; GipsyGirl,
Brt llb ; Lem, 8.4 ; Monism ist 101 b ; Proseriptioa. 7st
Garotter, 7.1; Pretty Girl f, Est 716 ; %Indicts, 6st ilb ;
and Mystify, 5.4 101 b. All are bore.

Tnr WEATHER AND T'HE Cann.—The weather
has undergone a mad importeat ohmage for the better is
the eastern counties this week. Apra has passed away
almost without rain, and the crops suffered to some extent
in conesquenca. On Payday the loog-desired raia
clouds, however, made their appearance, and ors Sunda
'recibir they began to discharge their cadent'. Oe Monday
and yesterday light genial spring showers fell at intervals,
and the change which bee bees already wrought epee the
face of the country is marvellous, the 6el& and plantations
MOW displaying in all their exquisite beauty the fresh deli-
cate hues of spring. Keep for stock has long been very
scant, but the inure will speedily become luxuriant.
THEATRICAL PERFORMANCE AT • LUNATIC
ASTLUIL —A Naples letter says:—" I have just attended
WI annual theatrical performance given by the inmates of
the great lunatic asylum of Averse, wider the management
of Dr. !ganglia. Five of the lunatics played saccessively
Algeria tragedy of Tiwoleon and 11 Campsite/10, a farce
imitated from the French. It is hardly posrible to imagine
a more singular sight. The actors knew their parts well,
produced excellent scenic effects, which ware loudly
applauded, and the Maiden would have bees complete but
for white oddities of attitude in their manner of Heima-
n* sad laeghtrig. Os. of the performers, earned Persia,
was called for at the end of every act. He greatly de-
lighted the four thousand spectators who crowded the
theatre of the Winter Gardea. When he came to salute the
public he made a low bow, and never raised himself till he
wee told, which was the only apparent sign of his insanity.
la the slips he indulged in a thousand ecosatricitiee. I toe-
rased with him, and he told me that he was really a
woman, and that everybody, except the Emperor Nicholas,
wee mistaken so to his sex."

HOTEL PII.OJBLT EXTRAORDIN ARY. —Now to my
project. It is to start • monster hotel—cu of those gigantic
establishments for which the Americans are famous--in
emu match-frequented part of Europe, and to engage as
pert of the household all the " ona time" celebrities of
diplomacy and letters. Everyone knows—most of us have,
indeed. felt—the desire experienced to see, meet, and wa-
vers* with the noticeable men of the world—the people who,
so to say, leave their mark on the age they live in—the
cognate signs of human &Irbil. Ooly fancy, thee, with
what eostacy would the traveller read the peanut= of an
establishment wherein, as is a pantheon, all the gods were
gathered around him. What would Dot the Teakse
give for • seat at the table where the peat Eltchi ladled
out the soup, and the bleed-voiced author of "The Women
in White" lisped out, "Sherry, sir r Only imagine being
handed one's fish by the envoy that got us into the Crimean
war, or taking • potato served by the accomplished sutler
of "Orley Farm !" Picture a encomia) of celebrities in
motion around the table, and eceative, if you can, the vain-
glorious sentiment of the man that could say. " Lyons, •
hale more fat ;" or, " Carlyle. =Adele' ;" and insaguie the
luxury of that cup of tea so gracefully heeded you by " Lost
sod Saved," and the culminating pride of taking your gat
candlestick from the fingers of " Eleanor's Victory." The
class-writers would of course have their specialities.
Snag-Spaeged" would firers in the stable-yard, and
" Proverbial Philosophy" watch the trains as • touter.
Fabulous prime might be obtained for a room in such an
establishment, and every plum at folk d'hale should be five
pious at least. For, after all, what would ha as invita-
tion to CompiZgoe to a sojourn hers ? Material advantages
might possibly incline to the side of the imperial board ; but
would anyone presume to Si;that the company in the one
wr equal to the " service at the other! Who would
barter the glorioas reality of the first for the mean and
' shallow mockery of the last! Lut of all, how widespread
and powerful would be the infinesce of such an establish-
meet over the manners of our time ! Would Cockneyism,
think you, omit its }Fs in preserve of that bland individual
who offers him cheese! Would presumption dare to criti-
rise in view of that " Quarterly " man who is pouring out
the bitter beer? What • check oe the expensive balderdash
of the " gent" at his desert, to know and feel
that " Adam Bede* wee behind him ! It has con-
stantly bees remarked by foreigners that there is DO
trait of oar national manners lam graceful in Resit
than the wa in which inferior; especially menials, are
addressed in England. It is alleged, perhaps with some
truth, that we mark every difference of clam more deci-
sively than other nations ; and certainly in our Umlaut of
servants there is cameo( that same con fidential tone so asnesing
in • Preach vaudeville. The scheme I now ennui will be .
the effective remedy for this. Will Tones, think yea.
=to be imperative if it be Alfred Teeny non tyke lee
up his hot water! Will Brown be critiod gest !
the polish, if it be Owen Meredith hu taken him his beets ?
Will wee Snooks ery out, "Hollow, you fellow!" to a
gather waiter, if the individual so addressed might chasm
to ha as Oriental Ilecestrary or • Saturday Reviewer? And
would the most Infatuated el Sigmas venture on what '
O'Connell used to call • " ehtlek-uoder-the-ehin manner,"
were the chamber-maid to be Magnet Maitland!—Black.
wood's Yoga:int for May.