The Press.
London, England, 1854-09-16 00:00:00

SEPTEMI3ER 16, 1854.

The CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER will advert to the circum-
stances of the time. He will allude to the glorious harvest of the pre-
eeling year, and show that it was foreseen by the Government, and that
its certainty justified them in protracting operations in Turkey. Should
any member be rude enough to ask why, the Chancellor will promise
to explain later. He will then announce that the public revenue
exhibits a very serious deficiency, and about two hours will suffice him
to explain a few arithmetical errors in his calculations of 1854, which
led him into a false estimate of our resources. He will show, also,
that, though we appear to be out of pocket, still the revenue has
actually sustained no damage whatever, because in his previous
Budget he had materially undercalculated various items ; and, when
his improved system of national bookkeeping comes into action, he
has no doubt of discovering that everything is as right as possible.
in the meantime he must positively have about 5,000,0001. To raise
3,000,000/. of this, he naturally and instantly recurs to the only
rational process—a loan.
In answer to the smile which at this moment will probably appear
upon the face of Mr. Baring, the Chancellor will request him not to
treat a serious topic with levity. In the next place he will state that he
is in no degree whatever departing from the doctrine laid down by him
upon so many occasions last session, namely, that loans were unjust,
impolitic, and unprofitable. For a loan, in the sense in which Mr.
Baring and other advocates of borrowing used the term, meant—he
quotes an eminent American authority, Dr. Webster—" something
" furnished for temporary use, on the condition that it shall be re-
" turned, or its equivalent, but with a compensation for the use." He
will then enter at some length into a sketch of the history of loans,
beginning with that which Queen Elizabeth obtained from Antwerp
for the reform of the coinage, and describing the circumstances
attending the loans for the seven years' war, for the American war, for
the French revolutionary war, and for the war against Napoleon, and
will show that none of them have anything to do with the matter in
hand. A loan, he will urge, is, in the sense of Mr. Baring, a thing to
be returned. Now, the loan he means to propose is one which will
never be returned. Allowing the committee some time to digest this
statement, he will explain that he intends to create a new species of
property of an amphibious or hermaphrodite nature.
He proposes to carve little freehold estates, which shall be enacted
to be real property, out of the new stock. The possessor of one of
these, value 1001., shall be deemed by law to be a landowner, and shall
have the privilege of paying land tax, and the property shall be sub-
ject to succession duty. The coupons shall be in the form of a title-
deed, and shall be registered in the register counties. A county vote
shall accompany each 1001., and these freeholds shall be good property
qualifications for Parliament. Thus far they shall be real estate. But
they shall be personal, in so far that they shall pay income tax, as divi-
dends now do, and that they shall be transferable by endorsement,
like bills of exchange. So that they will pay both ways, but the
failure of this will be evident when it is considered that a territorial
aristocrat may be made so very cheaply. This will be at once a boon
to the virtuous trading classes, and a source of profit to the Govern-
ment. 5,0001. of these coupons shall entitle the holder to claim a
knighthood, and 20,0001. a baronetcy. It may be a question hero
after whether any amount, say half a million, should qualify the
holder for a peerage. He proposes to call this the Land Currency
Loan. The 3,000,0001. will thus be raised.
The remaining deficiency, and certain sums required for the carry-
ing on the war, he will raise as follows :
Considering that, if religion be a matter in which men are in
earnest, they will make sacrifices for it, he proposes to tax every
minister of religion, of every denomination, 10/. per annum, to be
raised, quarterly, by his flock. The Tractarians, who belong to the
richer classes, are not to be exempt; but he considers that the Roman
Catholics ought to be so, for various reasons for which the Brigade
will give him credit.
Every landowner, except those of the Land Currency Loan, shall
pay a new tax, to bo levied upon all footpaths through his property,
at a rate of one shilling per twenty yards. The penalty of stopping
any pathway now existing is to be a heavy cumulative fine.
The following will be subject to the assessed taxes :
ROOKERIES. YACHTS. THE RACING GAME.
PIGEON-HOUSES. I BILLIARD-TABLES. PICTURE-GALLERIES.
DEER. PRIVATE BANDS OF MUSIC. CHILD'S PERAMBULATORS.
The following articles of luxe will be subjected to one uniform
duty of 11.:—Crochet-work (per foot). Perfumery. Easy-chairs.
Wine-biscuits. Ice (except fishmongers'). Bathing machines.
Ladies' " aglies." Novel 3 from circulating library (per 3 vols.).
Photographs. Marriage licences. Divorce bills. Bouquets. Weekly
newspapers (except the Economist). Betting-books (except pro-
fessionals). Prayer-books (except missals). Gloves (over
No. 8/). Gold and silver fish. Shoeing-horns ani button-hooks. Fly-
catchers (except fly-paper). Parasols (over ls. 9id. in price).
Pineapples. Venison, haunch or neck (except when presented
to constituents). Checkstrings (except in hackney-carriages). New
music. Flirtations (at per half hour). Electric telegraph mes-
sages (except on business). Serviettes, finger-glasses, and toothpicks
(other than forks). Crested note-paper. Use of French language
(except by traders). Admissions to hear parliamentary debates on
nights when Mr. Gladstone or Sir Charles Wood speaks.
It is hoped that the spirit which has dictated these financial
arrangements will be appreciated by the masses throughout the
country, and that the budget which will be based upon them will
receive general support. In the meantime the Chancellor of the
Exchequer, grateful for the numerous favours he has received from
his contemporaries, submits the above outline for consideration, and
will be happy to receive, at Broadstairs, any communications on the
subject.

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