The Press.
London, England, 1857-03-28 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

ELECTOR.—If you can't or won't tell me, I have no objection to join
in the laugh ; but I would rather have the answer.
Sir JoHN.—A Liberal ! Why, my dear Sir, a Liberal is—what
I am.
ELECTOR.—That is something like a definition. A Liberal is a man
who talks mu'h, does nothing, and votes wrong.
Sir JOHN.—You are really exceedingly coarse in your way of
speaking. I should be sorry to owe support to so very unrefined a
person.
ELECTOR.—Come, come, you are not Lord Sudeley yet, Sir John,
and can afford to talk to UN plebeians in our own language. We lam
low people in Westminster, but we mean honestly. If you don't like
my definition of a Liberal, give me your own.
Sir JOHN.—Definitions are foolishness. It is better to find out
what a man is by what he does than to label him with a nickname.
E LECTOR.—A very sound and sensible speech. Let us find you
Out by what you do. What do you do ?
Sir JOH N.—l am guided in my political course by the spirit of
enlightenment and the requirements of the age, which
ELECTOR.—Stay, stay, Sir John. You were a Charterhouse boy,
and no doubt learned all sorts of elegant imagery for your Latin
verses ; but we are low people in Westminster, we do not understand
images, and can take in only one idea at a time. We'll begin with
your spiritlamp—your spirit of enlightenment. What's that?
Sir JOHN.-0, well, I think that is pretty well understood.
ELECTOR.—In that case there is the less difficulty to explain it.
Pray do.
Sir JOHN.—It means the—the general comprehension ths.t—the
march of intellect, in fact.

ELECTOR —But who holds the lamp, and who marches, that's what
I want to know ?

Sir JOHN.—Why, the public generally.
ELECTOR —That's coming to the point. Then what the public
generally think is right, you do?
Sir JOHN.—Subject, of course, to the right of exercising my own
judgment upon all questions whatever.
ELECTOR.—Quito proper, and independent, and highminded. And
how, Sir John, do you ascertain the opinion of the public ?
Sir JOHN.—In various ways. Through the journals, for instance.
ELECTOR —Ah! On this Chinese question, now, many journals
assailed, and many journals approved the conduct of Ministers. How
did you strike the balance? _ _ _

Sir JOHN. —ln a difficulty, I should feel that I had a right to
inquire what journals were most read by my constituents, and which
were therefore most likely to exercise an effect upon their opinions.
ELECTOR.—Perfectly wise and right. The gentlemen who write
the papers trim your lamp of enlightenment, and then you walk by its
light. You are, in fact, no member for Westminster, but a delegate of
the newspapers read in Westminster. I asked you why anybody
should vote for you, and am answered.
Sir JOHN.—This is all very well, but unpractical. If I (lid not
represent the people, would they leave me in possession of my seat?
ELECTOR.—FairIy put; but my reply must, I fear, put the extin-
guisher on your spi►it-lamp. If the people were enlightened, you
would be rejected. A strong light would make you transparent, but a
bad one leaves you opaque, and makes a Sham into a Somebody. I
do not want to be rude, but what have you done fur the people?
Sir JOHN.—I have voted for the Ballot.

ELECTOR.—Had you not known that the Ballot is impossible in
England, I %.ould applaud your chivalry, for the Ballot would clear
the House of all Shelleys, whatever it might substitute.
Sir JOHN.—I am for giving the Suffrage to all ratepayers.
ELECTOR.—You mean that you will vote for it, if anybody else
should happen to make the proposition.
Sir Jour.—l am for economy in public affairs.
ELECTOR.—And support a policy which makes economy impossible.
Sir JOHN —I am for peace.
ELECTOR.—And support a policy of incessant aggression.
Sir JOHN.—I am for Reform.
ELECTOR.—Aud support a Minister who declares that no Reform is
requisite.
Sir JoHN.—I think you are disposed to be captious, and as I
happen to be M.P. for Westminster, I should prefer to terminate our
discussion.

ELECTOR.—On the basis of my accepting your own definition of a
Liberal, which you have abundantly justified—one who talks much,
does notling, and votes wrong.
Sir Jons.-1 dislike vulgarity.
The Elector u left, plante, wishing there had bun a conies/.

Exit.