The Press.
London, England, 1854-02-25 00:00:00

TO THE SPEAKER ASLEEP!

BY THE GHOST OF W. M. P.

Sleep, Mr. SPEAKER ! it's surely fair,
If you don't in your bed, that you should in your chair ;
Longer and longer still they grow,
Tory and Radical—aye and no—
Talking by night, and talking by day ;
Sleep, Mr. SPEAKER ! sleep, sleep, while you may !

Sleep, Mr. SPEAKER ! slumber lies
Light and brief on a Speaker's eyes ;
" The Pope's brass band," in a minute or two,
Some disorderly thing or other will do.
Riot will chase repose away ;
Sleep, Mr. SPEAKER ! sleep, sleep, while you may !

Sleep, Mr. SPEAKER ! COBDEN will soon
Move to abolish the sun and moon;
HUME, no doubt, will be taking the sense
Of the House on a saving of thirteenpence ;
GRAHAM will scoff, or MIALL bray ;
Sleep, Mr. SPEAKER ! sleep, sleep, while you may !

Sleep, Mr. SPEAKER ! dream of the time
When the Peelites held Radical zeal a crime ;
When PAM was a pupil in CANNING'S school,
When " Old Athens " thought CHARLES WOOD a fool.
Lord ! how principles pass away !
Sleep, Mr. SPEAKER ! sleep, sleep, while you may !

THE PEELITES.---No.V.
TO THE EDITOR OF "THE PRESS."
Sin,—Major DowNiNG's descriptions are famous, if not classic, and
his statement that " Mr. VAN BUREN resembled everybody, but yet
nobody resembled Mr. VAN BUREN," is the exact opposite of Mr. GLAD-
STONE'S predicament. Mr. GLADSTONE does not resemble everybody,
but every Peelite resembles Mr. GLADSTONE. Sir STAFFORD NORTHCOTE,
for instance, whom the electors of Devonshire, with their keen western
instinct, have winded and just chasseed, is a sort of pony GLADSTONE.
John of the Funnels would have recognised him as a Peelite, if he had
looked at him through a telescope. Anybody who reads his speech
may see that he is a Peelite, though as yet only half fledged. The
obtrusive conscientiousness ; the gentle assumption that his theory of
the Universe is the only orthodox harmony of the Decalogue, Balliol
scholarship, Progress, and the Three per Cents. ; the studied generali-
ties under which he strove to conceal his unpopular sympathy with the
Coalition Government—all indicate his leaning ; but two other traits
identify him. If he had not subscribed a priggish report for a Littlego
examination of our public Administrators, the following would suffice.
He assumed, as all Peelites invariably assume, that his party alone is
capable of promoting Progress. "Allow me to say, gentlemen, that
the policy of the party which Mr. PALE represents is to look hack, and
not to look forward ;" to which a genuine Devonshire voice retorted,
" Our policy is to luke up, and not to luke down, as yew do." And
secondly, in corroboration of this physical test, he evinced an aptitude
to betray his Church associates. He had been a subscriber to com-
memorate a Church synod, and he repudiated their acts at his earliest
convenience ; that is, when he stood, for the first. time in his life—l
will not say face to face, but in front of the electors.
Now, that which I have now barely time to remark is this—how
exactly this corresponds with the attitude of Mr. GLADSTONE towards
the Church and the University, of which he was the chosen champion.
Already, as I pointed out in my last letter, he has belied the inferences
from his avowed principles ; and yet the pale mediaevalists, who once
welcomed, continue to worship him. At this moment of emergency to
their favourite university, they are still trusting to him and his asso-
ciates, as if the realisation of former pretensions left any reason for
further hope or confidence in that direction. Mr. GLADSTONE and his
associates, as they have shown, are ready to sacrifice their dearest pre-
dilections if they deem it expedient. Idem ontor exitium pecori pc-
corisque mogistro ; and, if their scholastic admirers do not possess
the capacity of the Devonshire elector to detect their ambiguous
claims and consequent self-distrust, this may be owing, in some mea-
sure, to the subtle celerity of their changes. There was a noted boy in
North Carolina who could turn round so rapidly that the hinder part
of his breeches was on both sides at once ; and some such delusive
phenomenon we may probably connect with the political and cede-
siastieal gyrations of the Peelite s.
I remain, sir, your obedient servitor,
JOHN OF THE FUNNELS.

FEBRUARY 25, 1854.