The Press.
London, England, 1858-05-15 00:00:00

THE PRESS, MAY 15, 1858.

Lord J. R— wished his honourable friend who had just retired had
made less noise in shutting the door. He then declared himself charmed
with the cordial frankness of the Noble Viscount, and could, for his own
part, affirm that he had never known an hour's content since he had quitted
him illustrious friend's side. After two long quotations from Hallam's
"Constitutional History," and "Cicero de Officiis," the Noble Lord ended
his address by these memorable words :—" Walking, therefore, in the light
of the Constitution, and regarding office only as the tax which a true
patriot must pay toward the service of his country, I disclaim all petty
rivalries. Let the new Ministry which we seek to inaugurate only embody
the great historic names which make me proud to be called a Whig, and
I shall not be over anxious about my own position. In fact, I will toss up
with the Noble Viscount for the Treasury, and allow him the call ! Detur
dignissimo !"
The enthusiasm with which this announcement was greeted baffles
description. When the excitement subsided, Mr. B. 0— was heard to
say that he didn't think much of historic names. It was no use bolting
a door with a boiled carrot. He wanted to know how working men like
himself were to be treated. He didn't grudge the Noble Lord his empty
praise, but he had himself a great respect for solid pudding. Not to put
too fine a point on it (for he hated humbug), what was he to get? He
presumed if the " Liberals " came in again, he would be expected to hold
his tongue. So he would, for a consideration, but he knew the value of
peace and quietness.
Mr. O—WELL thought the remarks of the Honourable Member rather
premature. The real question before them was how to dislodge Lord
DERBY. If the present Government survived the session the consequences
might be frightful. He had the most perfect confidence in the Noble
Member for Tiverton. Ile was in some respects superior to a Leader
whom he had been proud to follow—the late lamented Sir R. Peel. He
had greater assurance, greater fertility in expedients, and was less ham-
pered by scruples in the distribution of patronage. All he wanted was a
little Resolution, and he had got one in his pocket, which he begged to
submit to the meeting. (The proposed Resolution was now read.)
Mr. R—Bucx said it expressed nothing. Mr. V— S— feared it
might express too much. The Right Honourable Proposer said the two
objections were inconsistent.

Sir C— W—D begged to remark that there was no inconsistency.
It might be desirable that a Resolution, in order to combine all their
suffrages, should mean less than nothing.

We left the Right Honourable Gentleman trying to explpin the
nature of a minus quantity, while the Duke of A— suggested a
Doxology. The proceedings seemed likely to terminate in "most admired
confusion."

"THE APPROPRIATION CLAUSE" v. CARDWELL'S
"RESOLUTION."

"Cesar and Pompey berry mush alike—'specially Pompey."
The call has been issued—the whip has been plied,
The Liberals muster, prepared to divide,
And hoping (so blind are intriguer and tool !),
As runs the old saw, to " Divide " and to " Rule;"
Spasmodic vitality stirs in the Post,
And the Globe drones a pibroch to Palmerston's host.

But what is the battle they muster to fight,
The sublime resolution they shout for to-night ?
What great moral truth—what political law,
Propounded with caution, accepted with awe—
That Cardwell is lauded by jubilant Whigs,
And Hayter and Lowe are as lively as grigs ?
There's a letter from A, and an answer from B,
And thus would our sage Opposition decree—
" On the first " (tho' it's tenor evoked the reply !)
"We pronounce no opinion " (how modestly sly !)
"It may be judicious—it may be—ahem !
" But the answer that censures it, that we condemn."

Great shade of the Stagyrite, witness our woe !
Alas ! is the logic of Oxford so low?
Is it Cardwell who seeks, in this witless confusion,
To ignore the pramissa, deny the conclusion ?
Why the Brahmin was wiser, whose world was upborne
On the back of an Elephant; this in its turn
By the father of Tortoises finally propp'd—
In es.rdwell's uew system the Tortoise is dropp'd !

469

Witty Wilkes, as they tell us, once bow'd to the feet
Of an ill-favour'd stranger he cross'd in the street,
And " return'd his best thanks for the countenance shown "
In brie 'twas an uglier phiz than his own !
How grateful, similiter, Russell must be
To a Peelite more awkwardly factious than he,
Whose new " resolution" outdoes the disgrace
Of the once noted "Clause" to "Appropriate "—place—
When a shameless majority join'd in the cry,
And Whigs rode to pow'r on the back of a lie :
'Twits stupid—'twas shabby—'twas all ways amiss—
But not so prepos'trous a blunder as this.

"THE FINEST SITE IN EUROPE."
Air —" The Groves of Blarney."
" Bowid Plutarch, Neptune, and Nioodamus
Naked alive,all in the flagrant air r'
Oh ! the British nation ! what population
For decoration can with them compare,
For making pat use of busts and statues
In vaults or galleries, or the " flagrant air" ?
It's thim's the niggers, to set up figures
In antique draperies or new-fangled paints ;
Horses with big tails, and Kings with pigtails,
Heroes of Whig tales, or ould Tory Saints !