The Press.
London, England, 1854-01-14 00:00:00

THE PtESS.

Mr. GLADSTONE received a message from an indignant country
schoolmaster, who addressed the receiver as somebody who had a
valuable and highly influential journal, in which there ought to be an
exposure of the blundering balance-sheet just issued in regard to the
quarter's revenue. The worthy pedagogue explained the various
muddles and miscalculations with great precision, and added that, if
any boy in his bookkeeping class had turned out such a thing, it would
scarcely be an act of humanity to offer that boy a chair for some days
after he, the master, had seen the production. The hon. gentleman
tossed the letter out of window, and, the wind being north at the time,
it was blown in at a window of the Morning Post, where capital use
was made of it.
Lord CRANWORTH received a message from Windsor telling him to
come down to see the palace theatricals, and his lordship was getting
ready, when somebody informed him that Lord Derby would be there,
upon which the Chancellor immediately decided that the message was
a hoax, and unpacked his carpetbag. But ultimately it appeared that
the order was really from Court, and his lordship went down, with
ureat apprehensions, however, lest, by way of entr'acte to Money,
Lord Derby should ask him for Ministerial explanations. However,
as the earl, so far from introducing such topics, very good-naturedly
explained the piece to Lord Cranworth, and disabused his mind of
the impression that Mr. Charles Kean was Mr. Charles Mathews, that
the play
was a pantomime, and that it ended with Mr. Webster smo-
thering Miss Leclercq, and being killed with a poisoned foil, after
fighting with Mr. Mae Somebody in a Scotch kilt, the Lord Chancellor
went away a good deal comforted.
Lord JOHN RUSSELL received a sort of invoice message that his order
had been attended to by the foreign tobacconist, that 1,000 prime
cigars had been forwarded on account, and it was hoped that these
would last his lordship for a week or so, until the other 9,000 could be
packed. Lord John was very much disgusted, but sent the mes-
sage to the Foreign-office.
Sir JAMES Gasuam received an extract from an address somebody
or other made to his constituents at an election, in which that person
stated that " he regarded every personal sacrifice light in comparison
" with the sacred duty of defending the Protestant Church, of com-
" bining education with religion, and of defending the monarchy
" against the inroad of democratical principles : he was the enemy of
" the ballot, and opposed to a further extension of the elective franchise."
Being naturally suspicious, Sir James regarded this as a " sell ; " but,
htppening to turn to a file of papers, he found that the above was
actually a portion of his own address to the electors in 1841. Of
course he burst out laughing, and threw the letter into the fire.
The Marquis of LANSDOWNE received a letter from Manchester, of
which he could only make out the words, " As you have told us in con-
" fidence that you will bid very high for our support, you shall have it,
" and lead the next Ministry ; but we must all have places, as we
" have bided our time long enough. I must be Home Secretary, B.
" must be Foreign ditto, M. G. must have the Board of Control, and
"we shall want five or six other places for some clever managing
" clerks of our own, who will be useful in the House. Except yourself,
" we'll have no lords in the Cabinet." The marquis uttered same little
classical quotation—it might be something about servornm pecus—and,
marking the letter with a great " ! " sent it to Chesham-place.
Sir CHARLES Woon received a mercantile-looking letter, desiring
him on receipt to go into the City and buy three hundred printed
handkerchiefs, twelve barrels of cured herrings, a ton of preserved
cranberries, twenty-six pounds of mould candles (long sixes), two
warming-pans, a dog-kennel, and a kitchen-range, and send them
oft per canal. Sir Charles, who always does exactly as he is bid,
dashed off in a Hansom, made all the purchases, and then bethought
him that he did not know where to send them. His train of logic
gradually convinced him that the message had not been for him, but
for the agent of some country general dealer. The venders, however,
refused to take the things buck, so poor Sir Charles has them all on
his hands, and his household is living on herring-pies and cranberry-
tarts till further notice. The handkerchiefs are to be distributed to
the Liberal members when the House meets, though it is rather thought
they may come up prepared to give wipes to the hon. gentleman and
his colleagues.

SKETCHES OF RADICALS.
12. THE RADICAL GENTLEMAN.
?qv old friend Freville Fisher (Fitz-iirse,—Fitz-ours,—Fizzout
Fisher, was the derivation which he loved to point out to you as that
of his patronymic) was wont to bore his friends of the Temple, at
advanced stages of convivial evenings, by broaching the question,
"What is a gentleman ?" If you once allowed him to get full posses-
sion of the general ear on this point, he would go at great length into
it—that gentleman—gentilis how, gentelhontme—meant, properly,
" man of race or family ;" that a gentleman was really nobilis ; that
coat-armour was the outward sign or symbol of this rank; that he
F.. F.) was the equal of a German baron. All this, I say, my
friend would favour us with at great length, and usually got into the
middle ages (and so, by degrees, into a cab) before the conversation
recovered from his pressure. Freville Fisher was a very plain man,
and, as he was particular in informing you that he descended from
Fair Rosamond, that fact gave occasion to much pointed remark. On
the whole, fellows reflected how dead everything was now-a-days ; that
new conditions of society were inevitable ; that something must be
done for the age ; and no doubt it was to devise something that so
many men I have known full of suggestions on the subject lay late in bed
nut morning.

87

I do not expect anything very practical from Frevillo Fisher, but,
in a historical point of view, the notions of that degenerate descendant
of Fair Rosamond are infinitely more sound than those of Aniseed
Potts. Were Potts to write *the biography of Bishop Berkeley (God
forbid this suggestion should set him at work on the job : he would as
soon lay hands on him as on another!) he would try to prove in the
first chapter that the bishop was Not of the historic Berkeleys; and his
pages would be possibly filled with sneers on the subject. Yet, while
meagreT detraction blown up into inflated language is the upshot of
Potts a labours, those of poor F. Fisher, though apt to lead to extrava-
gance, are based on certain truths which ought to be recognised. The
historic idea embodied in the word " gentleman" is quite different from
that which it is now supposed or allowed to convey. Lord Herbert of
Cherbury's life of himself, for instance, gives you the proper historic
view of the subject. A "gentleman," says he, ought to study botany,
medicine, and many other matters, besides iidiag the " great horse,'
as our ancestors called that stately animal of war. " Common and
dull language," says he, " relishes more of the clown than the gentle-
man." In fact, the gentleman is to be the leader of the nation ; the
flower of everything in culture and action ; this cans expected of him
because of the station into which he was born. Potts, therefore, will
please to remember that the essence of aristocracy lay in the " gentle"
element ; that, by here and there licking out a foolish lord and making
a fuss about him, the whole British system is Not heavily mauled, as
he hopes; that Congreve and Dryden, Bacon and Hume, and Milton
were, unfortunately, aristocrats ; and that the list may be extended, to
his terror and confusion, to very considerable length.
All this is as a preface to the question, where now is the good old
Gentleman Radical? Where are the braves who wrote down in large
letters that mankind were free and equal, and signed themselves
" Persons of Quality "? Where is the high-flown Brutus of Liberalism ?
Where is the old classic Radical breathing of the ancient republics?
We look around Europe in vain for that school now-a-days. Yes ; they
are gone—these Caters of tyrants—the fiery gentlemen who quoted
Lucan ! They sleep free from the insulting air of kings, under tables
of Latinity, and very large escutcheons !
Undoubtedly a Radical of this sort would be stoned by the party
at the present day. Fancy how a man who does a thing as an affec-
tation is loved by the man who does it as a trade ! The " days of
Romulus " having come up, the " republic of Plato " has disappeared.
Brutus is in a " coalition,' establishing a Whiggo-commercial, pseudo-
liberal, oligarchy, with trade for a religion, and capital
for a god. Clodius is not able to go the pace, like the old Clodii.
Nay, the days of the Clodii arc gone by. They cannot drink even now,
and, in the happy minglings of political life, Clodius would bring his
sister to meet Cicero and his wife and a party of the Sacred College.
Milo and Clodius in our day waive all private differences and take
places for the good of the country, and the Radical Gentleman blends
harmoniously with " stern and unbending " Conservatives. 1.'4.r wo
hear (often enough, to be sure) that the age of parties is past, along
with the age of " eloquence," and the age of everything else, and aro
requested to congratulate ourselves on the change.
The Radical Gentleman has disappeared in this general confusion.
Occasionally a Liberal lord, loving a little applause (the nature of
which he quite misunderstands), gets a burst of after-dinner cheering
by saying that the days are gone when his order could exercise hateful
privileges—Wear, hear)—or presume to advance in front of the great
body of their countrymen. (Great anslaaise.) What a melancholy
exhibition ! The man who laid bare his bosom to show his scars was
making an appeal that was respectable ; but a man bragging of his
feebleness is not a cheerful spectacle. If the Liberal lord thinks so
meanly of his order in its present state, why don't he go in for being
an Aztec Lilliputian? The fact is, however, he means little, or
nothing, or anything—according to the taste of the hearer !
Where, then, are we to look for our Radical Gentleman ? That
classic species we never hear of. The Wilkeses neither utter bon-mots
nor edit Catullus ; and, if they happen to be bibulous and blasphe-
mous, are not so on a scale grand enough to attract public attention.
When one does appear, even with a scintillation of parts (yet different,
indeed, from such a man as Horne Tooke), he buries his talents in a
napkin as a well-paid Coalition waiter. The lively, free-trade-dinner
Radical Gentleman is silent and forgotten. The acrid, eager, critical
Radical Gentleman, with a small form and a large constituency, is
reading French novels in the country, and terrified for fear of being
asked his opinion about the strike. And the hopes of Radicalism
proper are in the Pottses and the Cockroaches, the Mawkers and the
Dobbscs.
There are, indeed, young men of culture, and refinement, and
aspiration to be met, who are dissatisfied with English politics, and
whom people call Radicals. But the Radical proper is quite a different
man from these gentlemen. A part of their conversation and action
is perhaps favourable to what is loosely called and ranked as Radical-
ism. But these young men (who are to be known by their combining
sarcasm with melancholy) are quite sure to develop under the two
most Conservatising of all influences—viz., acquaintance with Radi-
cals personally, and study of the traditions of England.

SHAKSPERIAN SONts.
What shall he have that smashed the Bill?
The Foreign ofliee—if he will—
Or keep the Home.
It took no skill to smash the Bill,
It really was drawn up so ill,
Most ruefully th• Peeliter; bore it,
Though not so " large" as that before it;
And now their Bill, the promised Bill,
le good for—what? Is good for—nil.