The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1874-04-28 00:00:00

POPPING THE QUESTION.

Peter Patterson was ill—at least he thought so,
and depressed ; he had headaches, and he hated the
(lusty street, in which the summer beat burnt and
the summer sun shone before the green loaves had
draped the trees, and the squares of grass and wis-
teria vines and plotted geraniums which have come
1., he so blmseilly popular in New York, lent its
summer freshness. _ _ _ .

"What shtll I do, doctor P" he said to the white-
headed old physician. "You say nothing ails me,
but I can tell what my feelings are better than you
can. I know I shall bedown with sou.ett ing soon.
I rode in a car with half a dozen dirty ihildren, the
other day, going to the small-pox hospital. I haven't
doubt, very red and nasty looking, all of 'em; and
while I was buying something in a store, the other
day, a horrid old woman begged of me because her
husband was typhoid. No doubt "I've caught both
diseases, and it's the complication that puzzles you.
Could'nt relish my coffee this morning; left may
milk toast untouched. Hateful life, that of a
bachelor at a hotel. Oh dear we."

I "Why don't you marry, then ?" said the doctor.
" They need rn much courting," said Mr. Patter-
inn. "You sp.nd six months or 00, at least, dang-
ling at a woman's apron strings. You must go to
the theatre and opera if she is gay, and to church
meeting if she is pious. At fifty a man likes his
slippers and dressing-gown and easy-chair evenings.
If it was just stepping over to the clergyman's and
getting married, put a ring on her finer, and say.
ing or nodding yes,' two or three times, why, I
would'nt mind it. you know."
" Ah. well, courting is the fun of it all, in my
opinion," said the old doctor, '4 but every one to his
taste. And may advice to you is to go into the
Country."
"To another hotel and more mercenary waiters?"
said Mr. Patterson.

"No," mid the doctor, "go in for a nice private
house. I know 01243-a motherly widow lady, who
cooks a dinner fit for a king. River before the
house, woods behind it, orchard to the left, kitchen
garden to the right; no fever end ague; no mos-
quitoes. heavenly I lam going up there to-mor•
row, and I'll see if she'll take you."
"Very well," said Mr. Patterson, "I think I'll
try IL'

" And you mnstdrink plenty of milk and eat plenty
of nice hotne•made bread," said the doctor.

"I'll take a note of it," said Patterson. "And if
I should be very ill she'll nurse me?"
"Splendidly,' said the doctor, and went his way.
Mr. Patterson thought the matter over, and
thought better of it every cla7, and when the little
note, informing him that the widow would be willing
to "take him in and do for him" reached him, he
had his trunk and portmanteau already packed and
was all ready to start that afterncon. As for her
boarder's peculiarities, thus :
"Nice fellow; solid; plenty of money; thinks
himself ill, but isn't; ought to bo married; told him
so, but he hates the idea of courting; marry off some
day, no doubt; 'Will you have nie Yes!
in a clergyman. Over. Very peculiar old bachelor
but then old bachelors are peculiar generally."
The widow was what Yankees call an amazingly
smart woman. She had married at and had never
failed to have washing over when other people were
hanging out theirs. Iler bread always rose, her
cake was always good, and her butter was always
sweet. At 45 she had marl ied all her daughters,
and was well-to-do, buxom, and happy.
ller son and his wife boarded with her, and she
added to her plentiful savings by taking a summer
boarder or two if they happened to offer.
" Fifty and a bachelor:" said Mrs. Muntlo looking
in the glees. " Well, it seems a pity; but then
when elderly gentlemen marry, it is generally some
hity-tity girl that leads them a terrible life, andlikely
it's for the best."

Then she looked into the glass again. for the widow
waa but a woman after all.

Mr. Patterson came to the widow's and obeyed
the doctor's prescripton carefully. lie ate bread
and drank unlk, robbed the orchards like a school
boy, and declaimed over the strawberry shortcake
after ti fashion that would have made him a reputa-
tion at the bar. Then, too, Mrs. Muntle did not
smile at his aehes and pains, and insist that he
must be perpetually well because he had a fresh
ximplezion and dimples in his cheeks. She had
savoury herb has and pot ins, which mho prodnced
when he complained of being miserable, and she
had that blessing to hypoehrondriacs, a hotatepathia
box and book in the house.
For two months and more Mr. Patterson boarded
with Mrs. Mantle. and happier months he had
never lived through. Tht n he went back to the
city for a few weeks, returned in urgent need of
more pellets from the medicine chtst, and stayed
until the last pink chrynnitheinum was blooming
on its wilted branches. lie had grown fond of his
little room, white curtains awl irroh grans-bleuehed
limn, of the eountry gist things, and of the cosy
nursing of buxom Mts. Mantle, that lie conid
scarcely hear the thought of parting with them
altogether. _ _

Atter much consideration be finally musterixt
courage for the ettert, and walked into the trout
parlour, sent the small servant to ask Mrs. Mundt)
step in there for a minute. if she pleased.
" tiracious !" thought Mrs. Mantle, "what can
he want?"

Then she blushed brightly, settled her necktio.
took off her apron and alkeil demurely in.
"lie seated. ma'am," said Mr. l'atterson.
" Please to sit here. Allow me to sit near you. I
have something to say which may require some
consideration."

"Oh, dear, it is coming!" thought Mrs.Muntle."
"I suppose you know I'm a man of some little
means, ' said the old bachelor, " able to
buy a nice house, furnish it well, and live in it com-
fortsbly ?"
"So I've understood, Mr. Patterson," said the
widow.

'And of courts° it is pleasanter to live that way
than in bachelor lodgiu),,a, or at a hotel," said Mr.
Patterson.

" I should judge it might be," said Mrs. Montle,
cautiously.
'You judge rightly," said Mr. Patterson, " but
you know a bachelor must be in the hands of ser-
vants, if he keeps house. A gentleman don't want
that; he wants a lady to superintend things for
him—some one of taste and refinement, and all
that. Common people don't understand his feel-
ings, and mercenary servants are a poor depend-
ence. _

" I know that," said Mrs. Muntle.
"You are almost as much alone as I, aren't you,
Mrs. Montle ? " said Mr. Patterson, coaxingly.
" The doctor knew him, lie's going to do it,
just as he said he would if he over did," said the
lady to herself. Aloud she answered: ". Well, sir,
lam pretty free, it is true. All my children are
married." . . _

" I know money would be no object to
,you," said
Mr. Patterson. "You have enough. But if I
were to tell you that I hated boarding-houses and
wanted a home, I think you would have pity. I'll
buy a beautiful house, and you shall have complete
control over everything; only to make my straw.
berry shortcake for me all my life."
He paused and looked at the lady.
"That was delicately put," she thought.
"Nor will you hire out for a housekeeper in that
I fancy:"
" I ain't romantic, though," said Mrs. Muntlei
" but still, we ain't young, neither of us, and it geta
to be just that with the most sentimental after L
while."

"Don't refuse me," pleaded Mr. Patterson.
Well, Mr. Patterson, I won't" said Mrs.
Muntle, " rm my own mistress, and though I've
never thought of a second marriage, why I think
I'm warranted in making one. And no doubt I
shall never repent, for I think you've a fine dis-
position, and I understand your ways and tastes."
Mr. Patterson listened. He saw what be had
done—proposed and been accepted without haring
any idea what he was about.
He looked at Mrs. Muntle; she was very nice and
fresh and comely, and ten years his junior, at least,
if she was forty. He could not have done a better
thing, and be could be married without any trouble-
some courting. So he put his arm about Mrs-
Muntle's waist, and said: . •

_
Thank you my dear. I consider myself very
lucky."
Ho wrote to his good doctor in about a fortnight's
time, to tell hiss that he had taken both of his pre-
scriptions. was a married man, and intended to
brinu hb, bride liome about Christmas.

An American clergyman, who is in the habit of
' preaching in difficnt parts of the country, was. not
long since, at a country hotel, where be:ol.sei red a
horse dealer trying to take in a simple gentleman
by imposing upon him a broken-winded horse for a
sound one. The parson knew the had character of
the dealer, and taking the gentleman aside, told
him to be cautious of the person he was dealing
with. The gentleman declined the purchase. and
the dealer, quite nettled, observed, " Parson. I hail
much rather hear you preach than see you privat. ly
ititcrfore in bargains between man and man in I hiA
way." "Well," replied the panion, "if you had
teen where you ought to have been last Sunday,
you might have heard me preach." " Where was
that h" inquired the dealer. "In the State Prison,"
returned the clergyman.

M. Lmr.—Some modern phiLsoPher has
given in these eleven line. the summary of life :

7 years in childhood's sport and play 7
7 years in school from day to day .14
7 years at trade or college life - 21
7 years to fintl a place and wife . - 27
7 years to pleasure's follies given -35
7 years to business hardly driven- 43
7 years for some wild goose chase •49
7 years for wealth and bootless race-
7 years for hoarding for your heir -63
7 years in weakness spent and care - 70

Than die, and go you should know whet.). •
pleasant bit of arithmetic. The liarned author
says nothing about seven years' transportati.m,
idea that ought to hare struck him in alliance with
perm