The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1874-08-01 00:00:00

WONDERS OF MODERN TRAVEL.
(From Punch.)

Wonder whether accidents will be as numerous is
usual during this excursion season.
Wonder if a train, conveying third-class paeaengers,
was ever known to start without somebody or other
exclaiming, "Now we 're off!"
Wonder why it is that foreigners in general, and fat
Germans in particular, always will persist in smoking
with the windows shut.
Wonder whether anybody was ever known to bellow
iout. the name of any station in such a manner that a
051 ranger could succeed in understanding him.
Wonder whether it is cheaper to pay for broken
bones, or for such increase of service as, in very many
cages, might prevent their being broken.
Wonder how a signalman can by any means contrive
to keep a cool head on his shoulders, while werking as
one sees him in a signal-box of glass, and the tempera-
ture of the tropics.
Wonder if upon an average there are three men in a
thousand who have never been puzzled by the hiero-
glyphics in Bradshaw.
Wonder whether any Railway Guard or Porter has
ever been detected in the very act of virtuously de-
clining to accept a proffered tin, on the ground that
money, by the bye-laws, is forbidden to be taken by
Servants of the Company.
"An account has just arrived," says the Journal I Wonder how many odd coppers the boys who sell
"of a frightful tragedy on the high seas. On the newspapers pocket in a week by the benevolence
the Bth June the Italian vessel Napoleon Camaro, of paetiengers.
sailed from Macao with a crew of forty men and having Wonder what diminution there would be in the [re-
m, hoard tai3 coolies for Callas, and 8,000 packets of ! fluency of accidents, supposing Directors were made
fireworks. After a lapse of two days, the int,rpreter , puree-onally liable.
discovered a plot amongst the emigrants to seize on Wonder whether people take to living at Redhill
the ship. The captain Immediately ordered one-half bemuse it is 80 redhilly accessible by railway.
of them to be confined in the hold, but the next
day those who remained on deck armed them-
selves with knives, belaying pins, pieces of wood, ' A WHDDING CONTRETEMPS.—A London cor-
in short, anything they could lay their hands respondent writes that society, at least in the ultra.
on, and attacked the crew, who defended themselves ! fashionable circles, seems to have arrived at the
with muakets and revolvers. The coolies then massed , conclusion that a "crowd" is essential to the success
themselves on the forecastle and set fire to the vessel, 1, of every fesivity. A very vexatious incident arising
hoping that the crew would set to work at the pumps I out of this custom of inviting too many guests occurred
to extinguish the flames. During that time they had a few days ago. Two fashionable marriages were as-
also freed their comrades and murdered the few sailors ranged to be solemnised at a certain church on the
they could get hold of. The captain, seeing what same d -y. To each ceremony the usual crowd was
they were doing, ordered the boats to be lowered and bidden, and, as usual, attended. In the first wedding
left the ship with the remainder of his men. Some on the het all passed smoothly enough until the throng
sailors who remained on board with the doctor, the attending it on its departure clashed with the throng
magazine man, and the interpreter, were unable to arriving for ceremony No. 2. The whole place was
! prevent the flames from reaching the fireworks, and immediately in a state of inextricable confusion. The
the ship blew up, scattering the fragments of the vehicles of the two art les soon becamew
, hopelessly
1 mutineers in every direction under the very eyes of the blocked, the canonicaldhours were fast away,.
escaped crew." and in spite of all exertions the carriage containing the
bride of welding No. 2 was unable to arrive at the
church until too late for the performance of the ser-
vice. The dismay that ensued may be imagined, api
condolences took the place of congratulations.

It is announced from Constantinople that the Sultan
has advised the Khedive to place himself under medical
treatment at Vichy, and then visit the Turkish capital.

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