The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1868-06-02 00:00:00

Variettto.

Tat LATVIT BPIZITUALIST &ULM OW Mos& —A
vesp-rsamd.
Ai BNTLOCZ SAID. Railway Sharelolaler, miat
/Masa of a dissoeme.—"Givis ms my *ma* sad 1M
me irs."

Mx= AND Buena —Tbe present state of affairs la
the House of Common. is one of manifest derangement.
It is dm delirium which preoeds. dissolution.

WHIN &Man speaks to • lamp-poet, sad mations it
not to "bob mead so," it show, that the past is getting
irregular in its habits, sad needs looking atter.
" PM afraid," said • lady to her husband, "that I am
going to here • stiff nook." "Not at all immobable,
my dem," replied the memos ; "I'm WM SUMS
qmpioins cd it ever sinew we were married."

A Immo heart makes a blooming Amp. Trite ;
but it won't do to suppose that every blooinieg visage
comes from a jolly coodition of the heart. The men
sometimes lies deeper Ulan that—in the seller.

GOOD 61100011.—k0 Irish peasant Wing asked why
he permitted his pig to take up Me quarters with hie
family, made us answer abosedios with satiated soled( ;
Why not? Donee% the photo afford twisty oonveuienee
that a pig can require."

- -
ALAZILLIIO 1-0•0111, Oita 00" bdo-h•lorl—" Wised
do you teink the man wanted, my dear? (A visitor had
milled during breakfart)--He qua. to Mks my life II"
Affeetiorsate wife (rushian at him)—" Gnome r George
—"I mean, my love, in the Imperial Adamantine
Aernranes Otlioe, that your Ma 's been bothering about
ever 'Mee we were married r [Didn't be "eetell it 11

WOMilra RIGHTS WITH • Vzsensiont I—A bill laid
before Parliament by a number of gentlemen, including
Ifs. Will, the philosopher, for legalising female rite*
presidia, amongst other things, that wives shall be
eipable "of contracting, seine, and being med, ea if
they were unmarried woolen." Siting sad being sued I
Wises to have suitors as though they were spinsters
still? Oh, Mr. mail

A MAID'S'. SOLI LIAO Y. wocdrous Warp bow
pimf the change since I was in my teens; then I had •
beau, and • billet-dota, and joined the gayest seeps&
But lovers now have ceased to nyw: no way they DOW
contrive—to poison, hang, o drown thenmelves--
because I'm thirtydlve. once, the night wits e'er so
bright, I seer abroad could rem, without—" the bliss,
the honour, min, of seeing you safe home." But now
I go, through rain and snow—fatigued and mares alive
—through all the dark, without a spark--beesiue rim
thisty•five. -Awakes Paper.

WHITSO num Rival...B.—Our ancestors were hearty
folk. and took their pleseuree heartily. As witness the
following advertisement of the Reading iferersg, foe
May 24th, 1819 :—" Peppard Ravel will be held on
Whit-Monday, Msy 31a, 1819; and, for the 'impure's-
meat of the young and old gamesters, there will be a
good hat to be played for at ourliels. For the first
seven oouples that play, the man that breaks tle meet
beads to have the prize, and Is. "eid. will be giros to
sash man that breaks • bead, and one shilling to the
men that hae his head broken! So hats thick Ault
was not to be desired, sinee, however .svez.ly prantimod
upon, it was not worth a shilling.— Wk. Annual.

COXING into court one day, Ersidse prelimd the
ankle of Mr. Balfour, who generally expressed Mussel,
I a a "7 airatimiavutori manner, tied up with • milk
handkerchief. "Why, what's the matter r said
&skink "I woo taking • romastie ramble is my
brother's ground.," replied Balfour, "whet somiag to •
irate, I bad to climb over it, by which I mime It 'outset
with the first bar, and erased the epidemic of my leg,
which has caused • slight extravasatien of Wed..'—
" Yon may thank your lucky stare." said 'vela%
"that your brother's gate was not as lofty an yew
style, or you mutt have %woken your neck 1"

A CORNISH TOLI-SINO.
New, dd the birds tltat keep the tree,
Which Is tbe wittiest fowl?
01 the cnekoo! the cuckoo's the one, lor h•
Is wiser tlun the owl!
Ho thyme his wife In her Sunday'. bid,
Ana they never have rent to pay:
For she folds her leathers In a neighbodel met.
And thither she 10.111 to lay
He %flitted with hls eye, end be bottoted ble puree,
When the breeding time began:
For he'd not his childron out to muse

In the bonne of •notin-w mei ---
Then his child, though born la • sigaegali bed,
Is Ida own tree Whew'. sow:
For he gobble. the lawful Whim% bread.
And hee1.,,.. them, one by noel
go, of WI the birds that keep the Ow,
We is the wittleet fowl
0 the enehoo I tbe cuckoo% Ye ewe, kw
Is wiser than lb. owl

—Nam and eigetilla.
Au American photographer says that Wiles, when
having theit portraits taken, may observe the following
rules with loam advantage as to their appearance.
"When • lady, sitting for • picture, would ceispoos her
mouth to a bland and serene character, she should just
before entering the MOM, say, ' Bosom,' and keep the
expression into which the month subsides until She
desired effect upon the company is evident If, on the
other band, she wishes, to samosa a distinguished end
somewhat noble bearing, not suggestive di sweetness,
she should say, 'Brush, the result of whisk le isfallible.
If she would make he mouth look too small, she must
ray, 'Flip but if the sloe* be alnisity too smallaet
mods subteen' eh* must lay, 'Oabbeae.' If she h
to look mournful oh. must my 'Kerehunk." If aro
slimed, she most forcibly citcalms, net; $

A NICE 0011118P0NDENT.
glov and the glory are plighted
To Mamma, ix musing Is reset •
Tbe temp is Olehe Cutler" Is
Ile birds end the sheep-bells id. dwelt;
I'm slam, at my essenvot, for P.pp,
Ii summoned to Minter at ;
no Mom, my diem Fred, but In haq,
ro thinking i/ j.;;; F
'; I wlsb you Imre beat met I duller
Tian dull, you'd be dearer than dem,—
I am domed Is your tmourim colour,—
Dom Fred, boo I ',kb you wun
I lan weerim my issult necklace
TM necklace you histened &Mow I
Wes there mar so rude or so road.
• darting se ye.?
"1 mat you to mem and pa. sentence
On Mro or this* book. with • Idol:
01....- you hour ',Mast'. Rifest. e
imitinc.l4lr.o „
r and ''ytins7 tlr trult
MaMer, --Ids bride .6.; • goosey,L
&minds me id you.
"TtYlsy, In my rids, I've been criorniag
The Menton whose magic 4111 lures,
to. up there you &mooned about Browning,—
That stupid old Browning of yours ;
1141,11 and bh rogue are alarming,
I'm maxims le gin itbe Ms due ;
Not. Fred, bah net nosey ye Mamie,
A poet se yo._
"1 ham heard that you shot .1 11,.
1... how you rode Clentitterr,
I here rued the reports of your seethes.
And ..hod the sehoing cheer:
There's s whisper of beasts you aro brooklege-
eery their owners. I do I—
lbetsll marvel that fashion Is meths
H.rldol of you.
"Al.ll for the world, and its dearly
"tt triumph, sod fugitive Mos ;
ated I set/ wish I yrs@ merely
A pieta Of s penult= Miss:
Bat, reshape, oos Is Net with anussure
Of pelf . and I'm not sorry, ton,
TOM I'm Pretty, bemuse Oh • p 15.....
My deirw., to you.
"Yew whim h for frolic and !lattice,
Tour last• Is for letters and girt ;
TIM rhyme is the conuson-plsce
Thee item In • 1011 d WO•I•11% MI7
FM II M by a delay deposit
Ist al hem • 1..!
lorme def. Um. tbllErifit It, beams It
Nee written to you.
@of la POW% /41b04 by Aram Trollop.,

RHKIIMATISM, NEURALANA, sod
DEBILITY.—Another sztrsordin•rj Cure hY
means of HAWK% OALVANIC APPARATITA
The follosing testimonial I. (root Mr. itidisey Davie, the
celebrated provineial miter end drama/AG wathor, of the
Theatre Royal, Neweutleonlyne : "My dear Sir,—
its:lron ego I wee attached with severs pains and
debility. which, notwithetanding the careful
attention of moo, medial men of high standing of
Newouthr, Sunderland, Beerborough, Edinburgh, and
elsewhere 000tlosod to tics,...; so mach so that five
year. since I was so far reduced in strength ma to be
compelled to assist myself by bolding on to the walls,
areas, An Every week I grew worse, and staggered
like one inebristed ; the touch of a child 'yenta upset
me. At this time (now five years pelt), I went under a
warm of galvanism tot nine months, but soy pains and
weakness continued. After this I tried pleas& baths
to no great purpose, as well as the small (Jeanie
machines, bet without the least benefit whatever.
Altogether I spest from £7OO to £IIOO about my mac
All proved psoisotly usable& I now oreektered my ease
hopeless, Led made up soy mind to endure my suffering&
In August lasi the estrsordinary cares effected by
mew of your Gelvsnie Apparatus some under my
araies, and after much hesitation I decided on sending
to you ter owe of them. In • few dsys it we. in my
pemessioe, when I applied it %wording to your writteo
and printed Inetruction& The Bret applicatiou satisfied
sae as to the superiority of your spparatea over all the
others I had tried. Yours soothed we, the others
irritated; the eanaatlos from yours was invigorating
and painless —not so the others. Hollowed up the nee
of the appbratus for six weeks, when not only my
agonising rains kit me— pains which bad tormented
me for a specs of eight years, and which had balled the
skill of all who bad preseribed for me—bet my strength
commenced gradually to return, sad has 'outland
impressing to the premet time. In short, I can now
yak from sight to nine miles between meals with but
little fatigue. Thinking it • duty to wafering humanity
to have • some like mine known, you are at liberty to
asks what nee you think fit of this orkoovriodipuset.—
I remain, my dear Sir, yours gratefully,
"SIDNEY DAVIS."

"To Kr. W. H. Mark
SO. Addloos-road, Korsargros, Lawlor."
N.B.—layslars sharld send two slaws to Hr. Hato
tor Ids Propidat

lA. UNRIYALLIM in EUROPE
tor BREAKFAST, to.

sT REIdEDI-
-

IWU inssiwbses. /NSamis. ISL, b. K., asol Us.

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