The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1868-10-06 00:00:00

HAMLET AND OPHELIA.

Hamlet (on the present occasion and by desire el 01•0701
persons of quality) . . A Revising Barrister.
Ophelia (by her own desire) Lady Claimant.
Ophelia : Good, my lord,
Bow does your honour for this many • day?
Hamlet: I humbly thank you, well. But good, my lady;
Lord me no lords, at least this many a day.
What is your win with me? You have • will.
All women bare their will, as I have heard.
Ophelis : kly lord—
Again I tell you I'm 00 lord,
Nor shall be one till I be made • judge,
A thing that may or may Lot come to peas.
But women never comprehend a case.
°phone : I am very sorry you ebould say that thing.
For I've • case in which you mast be lodge
flautist: I guess it welL You mune to elaisn • vote;
A vote which you would give at an elecoion.
Ophelia r Nay, who's in error now? M 7 vole is
claimed,
And in your hand the claim. I some to bear
Thst yo s retain me on the Mitt.,
Hamlet :
R,,400„ arid kitchen names, Ilk;
And all things culinary apPertainlnd.
Were more in .bat I beg to cell your line.
Ophelia That's your opinion. I stand here for law.
Hamlet: Ha. ha! are you honest?
Ophelia :My lord—l mean, Sir I
Hamlet Are you fair?
Ophelle: What means your—lmpudence?
Hamlet: That it you be honest and fair, you have no
business In a contacted aleetion, where Uinta is neither
honesty nor rainless.
°phone : Women will introduce both.
Hamlet: Bosh! Get thee to a Nursery. Why
woold'st thou be a meddler in polities? I am gayest(
indifferent honest—

OpLAM: I doubt not ths indiffereoey. Advocacy,
regardlesa of right Or wrong, pervert. the heart and
oorropta the understanding.
Hamlet: /let thee to a Nursery, I say. I am, I
repeat, indiffrrent honest, yet I oould &COLIN me of soak
thin's that it were better I had never eaten my terms.
I am loquacious, realm, bard-mouthed, and there le
nothing I would not d for a Soliellor•Generalshils.
Whet do you want in eorrupt atmosphere? We are
arrant knaves all. Keep away from as. Go thy ways
tea Nursery. Where's your father?
Ophelia At home, Sir.
Hamlet: Does he know that you are out ?
Ophelia : Ay, my --your impudenoe.
Hamlet: Go home and tell him to look you up with
the Clookery.book, that you may play the tropes nowhere
but in his own house. Get thee to a Nursery--Go
Farewell.
Ophigia : See 111 don't tall Xis. Beam [Exit.
—Puna.

81.kma.—" Father" writes to the Tunis that one day
lately he and hie aon bad oecasion to use a "privileged
eab," and on dianseg it a depot* aroM al to the fare,
and the ae•lllan waa insoleat. The ion, who had just
borrowed what be called "hail a skid" of hie parent,
promptly took up the cudgels, or, in other words, the
warm language of the streets, sod metaphorically smote
the cabman hip and thigh. "Were we such a brace of
fools," ha asked, with indignant fervour, "ad to pay
showful prices for riding in a blessed growler? Did the
driver think to ' tlanimoe is by his lip, berries he
thought we weren't 7to Lim? He, the driver, must
get op earlier and go to bed without gettiog huffy, which
be hadn't done for a week of Sundays, Were he found
that little pme would draw In the dibe. No more
tight than we were, wasn't be ?--fwith groat depth of
meaning tidal—then what made film so piedeee ask,
about the gills, if bo hadn't bar ouh on the baiter the
night beforer