The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-09-27 00:00:00

SELECTED ANECDOTES.

AN 'UNRECOGNISED GREAT POWER.—When Mr.
Alexander Baring became head of the banking horse
of that name, he entered on • series oi momentary
operations on • gigantic scale and of European import.
ance. The greatest of these—one of the greatest ever
performed by • single banker—was, that be freed
France from the incubus of an occupation of Russian,
Prussian, and Austrian armies of 50,000 men each, by
the lean of a sum of about £1,100,000. This moment-
ous transaction occasioned the saying of the witty
French Premier, the Duke de Richelieu: "There are
six great Powers in Europe : England, France, Russia,
Austria, Prussia, and Baring Brothers.".

LONG CREDIT. —A party of French wits stopped at
a tavern. When the eaet was over, one of the number
called in the hostees. " Ang6hque," he said "I am
going to give you • lesson in astronomy. have you
not heard of the great Platonic year, when everything
must return to its first condition? Know, then, that
in sixteen thoumand years we shall be here again, on
the ime day and at the same hour. Will you give us
credit till then?" The hostess, however, had her
reply. "I am perfectly willing," she retorted; "but
it ii just sixteen thousand years since you were here
before, and you left without paying; settle the old
score, and I will trust you for the new."

THE 'Curg WAITER !—Mark Twain and a friend met
at the Sherman House, Chicago, where Gough, the
temperance advocate, was also staying at the time, and
coucluded to amuse themselves by sending a " cock-
tail" to Gough's room. On its arrival there it was of
course refused, but the waiter drank it on the way
down stairs, and reported 'all right" to the delighted
humorists. A second and • third " ccoltail" were
takee up and disposed of in like manner, when Gough
appeared on the szene and spoiled the joke by exposing
the craft of the waiter, whom he had followed and' de,
task.] in the act of absorbing the last beverage.
PADDY AND THE MlSER.—There ASA • miser who
woe considered impregnable to charitable associations
until • Hibernian genius "came Paddy over him."
Tedoy went to his office one morning, and told a pite-
one *tory about lining Lis pig, the only one he had.
`• Shure,' said Teddy, " Miathress —" (naming a
very excellent lady, whose good opinion old Hard Fiat
wasamxious to retain) " towld me to come to ye for ye
wor very rich, and gee a power of money to the poor,
God bless ye ! I only want to raise enough to buy me
atm, I,er shlip of a pig." The miser couldn't resist the
infin-nce of Mrs. —, so he gave Teddy a crown. A
few (lava afterwards he met him. "Well, Teddy,"
said he. 'did y m buy another pig ? '--" Troth I did;
And f 1 fine one it is." "Then take better care ef it
than you did of the other. What did the pig you lost
die M ?"—" Die of !" said Teddy, raising his eyebrows;
" he didn't die—he was fat enough, and I killed
hint !"
-

A SAD REMINDER !—A sentimental young lady lost
• curly poodle, on which she set crest value, and
whici she fed with her own hands. Not long after the
pood:e had departed this transitory life, Fridolina was I
seen to contemplate with great pentrivenees, the counte-
nance of a bewhiskered and beringleted young man.
" Fridiolina, my dear," said her maiden aunt, a very
proper old lady, "don't look so at young Frizly ; he'll
think you are in love with him." "I can't help it,
aunt Sophia," replied Fridiolina, with tears in her lovely
eve?, "his expression is no like that of my poor little
Moppets."
" HEAR, HEAR !"—Sheridan once succeeded admit,
ably in entrapping • noisy member who was in the
habit of interrupting every speaker with cries of
"H. or, hear." Richard Brineley took an opportunity
to allude to a well known political character of the
time, whom he represented as a person who wished to
play the rogue, but had only sense enough to play the
fool. "Where," exclaimed Sheridan, in continuation,
and with great emphasis :—" where shall we find a
more foolish knave era more knavish fool than this;"
Hear, hear !" warn instantly bellowed from the ac-
customed bench. The wicked wit bowed, thanked the
gentleman for "his ready reply to the question," and
sat down amid convulsions of laughter from all but
I their unfortunate subject.
THE CLEVER ON It!—An Irishman in America took
a contract to dig a large well. When he had dug &boat
twenty. five feet down, became one morning and found
it had fallen in —filled nearly to the top. Pat looked
cautiously around and saw that no person waa near,
then took off his hat and coat, hung them on a wind.
lees, crawled into some bushes, and awaited events.
In a short time the neighbours discovered that the well
had fallen in, and seeing Pat's hat and coat on the
windlass, they auppoeed that he was at the bottom of
the excavation. Only a few hours of brisk diggipg
cleared the loose earth from the well. Just as the
excavators had reached the bottom, and were won-
dering where the body was, Pat walked out of the
bashes, and good-naturedly thanked the workers for
relieving him of a sorry job. Some of the tired
diggers were disgusted, but the jeke was too good tio
allow of anything more than a laugh, which soon
followed.