The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-04-19 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

Ei. youth who was creased in love attempted suicide
recently by taking a dose of yeast powder.

A gentleman of the name of Furlong has four
children, or halt • mile's worth, as eight furlongs make •
Mlle.

Yankee burglars my that they never saw such a
panic In the money market uat present. They assert that
every other watch has been sent to the pawnbroker's.
No one wishes tothave a bald head, but no one wishes
to lose It when he has. The American Poet Laureate,
Smith, calls this a Solem-une proverb.

The times are affecting the poor Indian. They
complain that none but bald-headed emlgranta go West
now.

An experienced surgeon will anynnpany every
train," very properly composes a part oil an American rail-
way advertisement.
A contemporary describes how "a young man who
thinks he has • tine tenor voice was vaccinated by • cow." It
tossed him while he was in the meadow sender her window.

An Indianopolis paper says that a banquet in that
city was opened with prayer by the Rev. Emsley liamilton
whisky gauger for the Seventh district.
It occurred to a Yankee scholar, while writing a
componition, to make the remarkable statement, that "an
on does not taste as good as an oyster, but it can run taster."

A Georgia man who recently sent the Savannah News
thirty cents for sample copies of the paper, put in one
corner of the envelope To poet Maaters—Gents, This
contains money. Pleas handel It with a pair of tongs."
Smith, the American poet laureate, says :—" I have
often been told that the beat way is to take a bull by the
horns but I think, in many Instanews, I should prefer the
tall hold."

smith, the American Poet Laureate, writes thus of
• cattle show—" Al with men, s, lit. with cattle. They
may be, and pemibly are, lovely and beautiful in that lives;
butt. their death they are divided."

The last Yankee invention is a new.faehioned travel.
ling-beg to whien a man can .to himself upon a journey
He place. himself In the bag, and, taking it In bla band,
pastes fee luggage.

-- -
Nobody ever stands in the horse cars at Leaven-
worth, Kan. When a gentleman enter a car, the noupet
young lady Hess and off.rs him a mat. She then ate In hla
lap, and both are eatlalied.

A down-east journal essys that a Maine man la about
to apply for a patent for an artificia/ syster, made out of
flour-paste, tapioca, salt, and water. :Ile Inventor places
these to second hand oyster-shells, which are carefully glued
around the edges.
. . .

"How shall we settle the labour cutestion ?" ex-
claimed a member of the Georgia Legishtture, In the midst
of his speeeh. "By all going to work and earning your living
honeatly !" thundered. epectator in the gallery. That nen-
tment brought down the house.

There wail a catholic and impenetrable gloom in •
house in New York last week. A youth of eighteen summers
and seventeen winters got too near the gas, and the grease
on his moustache took Are. Mat moustache, slight and
sparse as it was, had cost him six months' tender nuraing
and fond caressing, and there wun't enough of it left to
make a decent-sired toothpick for • fly.

The robin ham a red brest. They have a song, and
sing as though they wan sorry for something. They rob a
currant bush lust rate, and are smart on • goo•eberry. If a
robin kaut find ennythlng else taw wit, they slut tew fastddi-
ous`tew eat ripe straw berry. They build their nests out of
mud and straw. and lay tour eggs that are speckeld. Four
young robins In • nest, that ar Just hatched out, and still on
the half shell, are nisniz an ready for dinner as • nuzeboy is.
If ennybody goes near their nest, their months all fly open
at once, so that you ban see clear down to their palates.