The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1872-10-19 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A Western paper saym—" Since the jubilee, Boston
haaTuoeo entirelymusle-mad, that its men wear brass bands

Hawthorne said that Miss Bremner Woe " a mnat
amiable little woman, worthy to be the maiden aunt of the
whole human race."

" •--
Josh is a amid authority on boring. "When you
strike lie, stop bctring • menny a main time bored clean
through and let all the lie run out at the bottom."
A paper has been darted in Louisville called the
True Iletencrat. Above the heading of the paper is the pic-
ture of a bare-doer fowl, and the legend, "Neither Grant
nor Greeley e ;ware this chicken..
A misanthropic barrinter, writing to an American
paper, announces—" The clock of our court-house, emulating
the exsmple of some of our ladles, had a nice coat of paint
MI his face yesterday."
•

-
Ag an evidence of carefulness on the part of a steam-
boat proprietor, it is stated that an antiquated steamboat in
New England alwai s curios a supply of wooden plugs with
which to close up the holes that frequently appear in her
worn-out boilers.

A man in the upper part of Rails county, MO.,
undertook to side a mule and carry a scythe one day last
week, but Mond its difficult feat. When the operation was
over. his mule had "only three feet and a little stumpy
tall."
In the course of a recent trial in San Francisco,
growing out of a gamb'ing transaction, the judge asked "If
there was any one in the room who could show how a ' cold
deuk' was 'rung In' in a game of poker." Extraordinary to
relate, most of the spectators rushed for the wPmess box.
Such a crowd of witness, S was embarrassing, and the court
concluded not to take testimony upon the points.

The Detroit Post publishes the following significant
notice Gentlemen and ladles contemplating suicide by
drowning viii confer a favour nprin the harbour master and
coroners by leaving word at the central station what dock
they intend jumping from. The harbour master is crow pro-
'iced with g handsome now dr./4 and set of grappling hooks,
and is prepared to bring up dead bodies with neatne:s and
despatch."
A NATIVE OF CALIFORNIA.—We are acquainted with
an elderly gentleman, meek and saintly in appearance, mild
in speech, decorous in dress, unfailing in devotion on the
Sabbath, earnest in exhortation, powerful in prayer, discreet
in all his ways, gentle In his manners, enlightened is his
views, libsral in the expression of charitatde sentiments, an
upholder of Sabbath schools for the Chinese in our midst,
earnest in the support of missions to the heathens—of whom
the papers will remark, when he dies, that he was an affec-
tionate husband and father and an exemplary citizen, besides
being a worthy member of half-a-dozen societies and a
pioneer of California. You will ray at once that he is a
sincere Christian. By no means. lie is in business, and will
. rob you whenever he has an opportunity. His name is legion
THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.—A girl of the period in
thus held up to ridicule by a New York votary of fashion
At a theatre this week some eccentric woman made her ap-
pearance in the style we hear so much about, but seldom
see. She was quite fat, and she wore no corsets. Her hair
was quite thick, by no means long, and she wore it uncon-
fined, stringing down her neck. A dress of brown staff,
made simply, very much like a bag with sleeves, confined
only at the waist, with white lace cape about the n
no gloves, no ornaments, and a brown straw bat like a man's,
which she took on and off hy the crown. Here was the un-
adorned woman, as God made her, and as mail longs for her,
and elle was laughed at by every mother's ssn. She lurked
like a goy. Ma as I hear nothing from men but condemna-
tion of fashion and approval of nature, I wan astonished
that this child of nature unimproved by art was not a
success.

To orR BETTERS.— The Beat Course is toavoid
all Raca-meetinga—runch.

SPUTTERINGS FROM "JUDY'S" PEN.

A WOIAN who tells fortunes from a teacup need not be a
sauceless.

RITTS are bought by the yard and worn by the toot.
THE strike among the wheelwrights produced some flue
orators. Wheelwrights are good spokesmen.

NEVER langh at a man with a pug nose; you don't know
what may turn up.
A YOUNG subscriber wants to know it it Is better to hide
your sayings or *aye your hidings.

THE ma: who was chargedwith marrying six wives excused
himself by se) lag that he was trying to find a good one.
MAN and wife are generally called one Some people,
though, reckon them as two. But ten is the propsr cal.
ciliation of some couples—the wife one, and the husband a

cypher.
A YOUNO man on JEDT'S Staff says he is never satisfied that
a lady understands a kiss unless In, has it from her own lips.
That Young man means imperence.
WREN is a photographic Mho, like an old-fashioned chills-
shop I—When It's full of ugly mugs.,
A NARROW Escape—Tell, junior.
A LAWYER is not like an apdhecary because he does not
deal in scruples.
(1R toll BEFORE MEAT—TiII applies to ladies who lace
tightly before they go out to dine.
A WIDOWER, who hat never quarrelled with his wife, said
the last day LI his marriage was as happy as the first. An-
other widower said the last day of his marriage was the
happiest.
THAT Man P one day, sneaking of his son and heir
the .me who was thrown out of window), said, '• I don't
know where that boy got his bad t, mper—nct frorn we, Tin
sure.' "No," said the sarca,tic Jul "you've certainly not
IoA yours." The Man P curled up.
A WARNlNG.—Qnakeretßies, when they marry, to not pro-
mise to obey, but they generally have to obey afterwards.

MAN and wife, together, are like a pair of scissors sepa-
rated, they are more like daggers.

. _
Tula occurs in an old INION on necromancy—never mind
which:—" How to Raise the Devil—Contradict your w yffe "
WIIFN a man and woman are made One, there is always
some doubt which is the one, and occasionally it takes years
to settle the question. --Judy.