The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1868-01-21 00:00:00

Littrature.

said be had a threshing resohine of Mr. Norman's at
work en his preteens, end ordered Charles Way to help
"shut" in the hones. He afterwards saw the machine
was in dims,. and see: he would drive it himself, as he A HOLIDAY ROMANCE.
wiz' responsible for it while on his promisee Charles
.Wdaytoothkenunin7b7
the
es trlar:twenhemnplcaoimnaplt:inkainctkepdett.ti.hne,
whlina,t,hpeuropeponrwinginho swpter,affrtubs. I•ll4.olptay of William
whip into him. John epees knock • 1 Charles Way Tinkling, Esquire, aged 8," Mr. Dickens has
down. John Way thee came up and wrung 1.1.1 WS et surpassed, we think. eyrie the immortal story of the
enneilait.ant, and threat nal t knock him down. Both
defehdeore were very •husive hine—Creseexemeeed : •
Runaway Couple, tole by the Hosea of the Holly
Free Inn, in the marvelloualy subtle and patnetic
Re did not ileum that lea Way's head; it was done by I
„ tenderness which underlies the conception of the
Way's wife who threw him three lime' "D" "e romances of childhood, The divine inflecting* of
weellon wheel- (laughter). Complainant did not tak• ,
°encircle the waywardness, the wilfulness, the ewee.
the whip out of defendant's haste and strike him with
it, for def. ndanti geei it up. John Way did not say inconsequence, the half consciousness of
" pest-
" Don't kill my beither." Ile did not try to get his I log," which is almost • presentiment of the sadder
brother Charles away from cempleiesnt. Wanes* did experience of after years, the burlesque seriousness
not strike Cherie. Way till alter he collared him. of the little actors in the mock bugloss' of life which
Witness might have said in • pueion that he was "glad they perform, with all the solemnity in the world,
as if he'd had 1:5 that Charles Way eel e.e . threshing. las a drama—all combine to produce an exquisitely
Witness struck Charles Way on this head with the humourous and touching picture.
whip. lie might have struck him four or five times William Tinkling, le quite (aged 8). is the author
altogether, and he would not swear he did not strike
ce,
01 „ Holiday Itomeuce," and thin ie bow he •
him ten tinies.—John mes, in the employ of mime • •
plainant, said he woo present on the occasion in qweition enter/ on the scene :
all the day. He esiste 1 Mr. Willinote alter Charles This beginning part is nit made out of anybotly's
Way had collared him, end in self defence knocked both heed, you know. It's real. You must believe this
defendants down, one on one side and the other on the ' beginning part more than what 0011100 after, else pon
other. He did not hit them harder then he was obliged I won't understand how what come' slier came to he
to—(laughter). He corroborated Mr. Willmottls I written. You mast believe it all, but you meat believe
evitlenee.—Croes-examined : The defendants did net tbis most, please. lam the Editor of it. Bob Redforth
strike complainant. Charles Way kicked him. GM. (be's my conahe end tandem( the table on 1 urpose)
plainant did not strike Chivies Way about the head, wanted to be the Editor of it, but I .aie he shouldn't,
at he did about the body. —Mr. Gundry said the wage,. because he emlilue. He has tio idea of being en Editor.
trate* considered it • tease of aggravated granite as the Nettie Ashford is my bride. We were learned in the
defendant., were workmen in complainant's employ. right-hood enaet in the corner of the dancingecheol,
They fined each of the defendants 10s. and Bs. costs, where first we met, with • ring (• green one) from Wit
and allowed teem . fortnight to pay in, or, in default, kingwatere toyahop. I owed for it out of my pocket-
-14 days imprisonment. money. When the rapturou. ceremony samovar, we all
Too FOND OF Cll)ll4.—Richard Temkin', Job Duns four went up thelane and let eff &minion (brought loaded
ford, and William Gerrard (thi latter a lad of 18), were in Bob Redforth's 'rebate hat pocket) to &enmities our
chergel with stealing about four gallons of oiler from nuptials. It flew riget up when it went off, sod
Mr. Huseey, at Brody, on 11th January. Mr. Manley turned over. Next day Lieutenaut-Colunel Robin
appeared for the pram:elution. —Robert Gillingham said Redforth was united wite similar asremonies to Alice
he was baler for Mr. Hussey, at Brady farm, and had Rainbird. This time the cannon burst with •
charge of the hien* and cellars. He had messel eider most terrific explosion, and made • puppy bark. My
for some time, and in consequence lead had the place peerb-s. bride Won, at the periel of which we now tense
watched. Last Saturday week he missed some. Last in captivity at Miss °Helmet's. Deervey and Grimmer
Tuesday he saw in Toulkimes house a jar which helonded is the partnership, and opinion is divided which is the
to witnesa, and which he bad no right to have. Lest greatest Beast. The lovely bride of the Colonel was
Satnelay night he can. • quentity of cider in • pitcher, abs emend in the dungeons of the WM, establishment.
• bucket, sod • jar—altesether four or five gallons, A vce, es entered into between the Colonel and my-
worth about 3s. od., which belonged to Mr. Hassey. self fir we should cat them out on the following
rho prisoners were in Mr. Hessey's employ, and had no Wednesday when walking two and two
right to go into the feeler where the cider La kept. The Under the desperate cfreumatences of the cue, the
cellar is kept locked. The jar without • handle. vow active brain of the Colonel, combining with his lawleee
produes.l, was the one he saw in Tonikins's liouste—P.C. pursuit (l's id a Pirate), suggested an attack with fire.
Cnaffey said on Saturday, 11th January, he went to the works. This, however, from motives of humanity was
house of Hobert Gillingham, at Bredv, opposite the abandoned no too expensive. . . • • • • • • • •
cellar, and watched. About half-three p.m. he skW Job . . Lightly armed with • paper.knife buttoned
Danford come into the yard with the jar now iir duce& up under his jacket, sod wavine the decadent
and go into the house adjoining the cellar with it in hia black fite at ti e end of a cane, the Cd.riel
hand. H. saw Temkin* afterwards go with the bucket tetk summand of me at 2 p.m. on the event.
and pitcher now preened into the house adjoining the ful and appointed day. He had drawn out the
cellar. Gerard followed the other two into that house. plan of attack 011 • pietas of paper which was rolled up
Temkin* shortly after came met of the house, and round a hoop-stick. ileshowed it ti me. My positien
walked no and down in front of the cella. He then and full length portrait (but my real tars don't stick
went to the cellar door, which we. locked, and spoke to out horizontal) was behind a corner lame-pet, with
some one inside through the keyhole. After they had written orders to remain there till I alioule gee Miss
gene into the house about five or ten minutes witness Drowvey full. The Drowvey who sue to fall was the
heard some hammering in the cellar. He went out then one in spectacles, not the one with the large lavender
awl took hold of Temkin., unlocked the cellar door, bonnet. At that signal 1 was to ruah forth, nee, my
and found Danford and Gerrard in the cellar; with the bride, and fight my way to the lane. There, • junction
jar full of cider and the pitcher gni bucket partly full. would be effected between niy-elf and the Coliteel, and
The tap of the barrel waa not straight, it hod apparently putting our brides behind us, between ourselves and
been moved. There was • bole between the wall and I the palings, we Were to conquer or die. .. . •
the roof where • person could get through into the The enemy eppeared—appreaclied. Waving his black
cellar without going through the door. Toinkins and flag, the colonel attacked. Confuaion enau.•d.
Gerrard escaped at the time, Gerrard going through Anxinusly I awaited my signal, but the signal came
the hole. Dunford said that he wanted seine cider, and not. So far from falling, the hated Droorvey in
had come their', for it. The jar seen' previously in spectacles appeared to me to have muffled the Colonel's
Tomkins's house witness found in the cellar.—The head in his outlawed Wanner, end to be pitching
prisoners wished the cue to he settled her., end pleaded into him with • paresol. The one in the lavender
guilty.—Mr. Gillingham said, in answer to the Bench, bonnet also performed prodigies of valour with her
the men bad 104. per week wages, house to live in rent fist on his back. Seeing that all waster the moment
free, ten cwt. of coal, and one owt. of fuel per year, el lost, I fought my desperate way hand to hand to the
for harvesting, and potato groupie—Hr. Oundry sale lane. Through taking the back road, I was so fortunate
the Bench considered this a grave offences, as the pri- as to meet nobody, and arrived there uninterrupted.
toners were in Mr. Hussey's employ. and had been . . • • . . . . . It seemed an age ere the
kindly treated by him. They sentenced Danford and Colonel joined me. He had been to the jebhing
Totekins each to one month's imprisonment with hard ' tailor's to be sewn up in several places, and attributed
labour, and Gerrard to a fortnight's imprisonment with • our defeat to the refusal of the detested Dreamy to
hard labour.
fall Finding her so obstinate, he bad raid to her in •
loud voice, " Die, recreant !" but had found her no
more open to Dineen on teat point than the other.
My blooming bride appeared, accompanied by the
Colonel's bride, at the dancing-wheel next day. What'
7e7h heeler of averi.d
scorn shfempmut sue?
sollystalndEs vaebitgoof
Ipaper, end tea another pertner. Os the paper wss
pencilled, " Heavens ! Can I write the word? Id my
husband • Cow ." . . . . . . . . . In the
first bewilderment of mg heated brain I tried to think
what slanderer could hiase teired my family to the
ignoble animal mentioned abrive. Vain were my
endeavours. At the sn tof that dance I ahisi•ered the
Colohel to come into the cloak-room, and I showed lion
the note.
" There is a syllable wanting,- and he, with • gloomy
brow. . .

"Halo ! what syllable ?" was my inquiry.
"She ask,. C-n oho write the word? And no; you
see she couldn't,- said the Colonel, pointing out the
And the word .en?' said I.
"Cow-cow-coward," hissed the Pirate. Colonel in my
ear. ant etre em back the note.
Feeling that I must for ever tread the earth a branded
boy—person. I mean—or that I must clear up my
honour. I demanded to be tried by • court martial. Tb•
Colonel admitted nay right to be tried. Some &dimity
was found in composing the court, on account of the
Emperor of France's aunt refusing to let him come on,.
Ha was to be the president Ere yet we bad appointed
a substitute, he inad• hi, escape over the back wall, and
stood among us, • free monarch.

So the court is held "on the grass by the pond."
I recognised in • cettsin (Idinirel among my judges
my deadlie.t foe. Ac icoa.nut hid given rise to languige
that I could not brook. But, confiding in my innocence,
and also in the knowledge Omit the President of ttoi
United States (who sat nest him) owed cue • knife, I
braced myself for the ordeal. It was a solemn
apt etude. that court. Two executioners with pinafores
reversed tel me in. Under the ehade of an umbrella I
perceived my Bride, supported by the Bride of the
Pirate• Colonel. The President (having reproved •
little female ensign for tittering in • matter of life and
death) called upon me to plead, " Coward or no coward
—iruilty or not guilty ?" I pleaeled. in • firm tone,
"No coward, and not guilty." (The little female ensign
being again reproved by the President for inisconiluot
mentioned, left the court, and threw stones).
implaeable enemy, the Admin.!, conducted the
ease against me. The Colonel's Bride was called
to prove that I had remained behind the' wooer
lampsport during the engorgement. I might have been
spared the anguish of my own Bride's being almost made
• redeem on the same point, but the Admiral knew
where to wound me. Be still, my soul. no matter. The
Colonel was then brought forward with bin evidence.
It was for tbie point that I had saved myself up as the
turning point of my case. Shaking myself free of my
guards—who had no busiuess to hold me, the etopids,
miler w.s found guilty—l asked the Colonel what he
eonsidered the first duty of • 'soldier? Ere be could
reply, the President of the United States rose and
informed the court that my fee, the Admiral, had
suggerted "bravery." and that prompting • wanes.
man, t fair. The Pretideot of the court immediately
ordered the Admiral's mouth to be filled with I
and tied up with string. I had the opportunity of
seeing the senteme carried into effect before the
prooeedings went further. I then took a paper from
my trimmer-pocket, and asked :—" What do you
consider, Colonel Redforth, the first duty of a soldier—
is it obedience?"
" It is " said the Colonel.
_ . . . . .

'l. that paper - please to look at it your baud r
" it i.," said the Colonel.
" Is it • military sketch?"
" :la," said the Colonel.

" Of it..n engagement r
" Quite go," said the f%lonel.
" Of the late engagement r
" Of the late engagement,"
"Pie... to deacribe it, and then hand it to the Proud.
dent of the court."

From that triumphant moment my dangers and my
sufferings were at an end. My foe, the Admiral, who,
though muzzled, was mslignant yet, contrived to suggest
that I was dishonoured by having quitted the field. But
the Colonel himself had done es mush, and gave his
opinion, upon his word and honour as a pirate, that when
all was lo.t the field might be qui, ted without disgrace
I was going to be found "No onward and not
guilty," and my blooming Bride was going to be
publicly restored to my arms in a procession,
when an unlooked.for event disturbed the general
rejoicing. This was no other than the Em-
iv-roc of Fr noes aunt catching bold of his hair.
The proceedings abruptly terminated, and the court
tumultuously die-olved N. at evening
four forms might have been descried aloely sdvancing
towards the weeping willow on the borders of the pond,
the now deserted scene of the day before yesterday's
• .onivs and triumphs. On • nearer approach, and by
practised eye, these might have been identified as the
forms of the Pirate-Colonel, with his Bride, and of
the day before yesterday's gallant prisoner, with his
Bride. . . _

On the beauteous faces of the nymphs dejection
mt enthroned. All four reclined under the wino:
for some minuet.' without speaking, till at length th
Bride of the Colonel poutingly observed, "It'n of CO
_
new Pretending any more ;en we had better give
it up."
din
"Ka r exclaimed the rirste. "Fret. r
"Don't go on like that, you
g
• a worry me, returned
his Bride.
The lonely Bride of Tinkling
warners Tinkalingechoodeiollegedincred.witlye
T
up peopl, won't do wd..dt thtephyreeoteriutrbhdt:lo pretending
"poi
us out, what 000ele a h
our
only get into serapes," said the Bride of
Tinkling.
" You know very well," pursued the Colonel's Bride,
"that Miss Drowyey wouldn't fall. You oomp'ained
of it yourself. And you know how disgracefully the
court-martial faded. A. to our marriage, would my
people acknowledge it at home?'
' Or would my people acknowledge ours?" said the
I Bride of Tinkling.
Agsin the two warriors exchanged stony glanoes.
"11 you knocked at the door and claimed ins alter
you were told to go away." said the Colonel's hide,
"'coo would only have your hair pulled, or your ems,
or your nom"
"II you persisted in ringing at the bell and claiming
me," said the Bride of Tinkling to that gentleman,
you would have things dropped on your head from
the wind m over the handle, or you would be played
upon by the garden-engiae."
"And at your own homes," resumed the Bride of
the COlOll4l, "It would be just as bad. You would he
wnt to bed, or something equally undignified. Assail,
how would you support us?'
The Pirate Colonel replied in a oourageous uctioe.
" By rapine!"
But his Bride retorted. "Bappoee the grown-up
people wouldn't be repined r