The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1875-02-20 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PARERS

"Smothered Venus" is a Californian dish; in spits •
of its name, it is only beefsteak and onions.

A married lady has been in a trance state for six
weeks, and her husband refused to send for a doctor. Ile saYs
he intends to enjoy a quiet time as long as possible.
A Missouri paper announced a short time since of
the "wife crop" that Mr.. and Mrs. Gado had, g0t.15,000 gals.
The next week the paper came out with an erratum "—lor
wife read wine.
A forty-day husband, on whom the memork of the
honeymoon already seems to have-become powerlers, want
to know why his wife is like n small pie? Do you give it apt
Answer—" Because," says the unfeeling wretch, "she is noir
a little tart 1"

---- - - -
A couple were married recently, aged respectively.'
twelve and thirteen years, at Gouldtown. When last seen
they were quarrelling over a pound of mixed sweets, and the
bride was heard to matter threats ot obtaining a divorce.
A man who had been married twice to ladies both
named Catherine advised his friends against taking
, 0
kates.

A Connecticut genius has invented a self-opening
coffin, with telegraphic alarm attachment, for the convenience
of those who come to life after they are buried.

An Albany poet 'narrates, in stanzas too nume•
rous to be transferred to this column, but the pith 0!
which we select, the result of his serenade of a beautiful an"
rich Boston girl : •
" My life, my fortune, all I have
I tender now to you ;
I live in a three-story house, "
And I am well-to-do.
"Wilt go with me ?—you hesitate? •
' Tie yes, in accents sweet and low;
Down.eame the water on my pate,
She thundered out, ' No ! go !' "
(I interpreted this as no go.)
The American young ladies having, it is said, de-
cided that squinting will be the fashion this winter, are
now laboriously cultivating a peculiarly fascinating inversion
of the eyes.
The joking against Chicago women's feet tail heeli
let loose with burlesque extravagance. There musk be some:
thing to warrant it. Here is a specimen :—"An elephant
stepped on a Chicago young lady's outside toe last Saturdaitr•
The lady said she didn't mind it so long as the elephant om
kept two of his feet on the toe, but when he put all finer II
them on at once, she requested to be permitted to rempt
that he was a great, ugly, nasty. brute." .

. .

r

NEW FIRST-CLASS ICAIRIAGES ON
THE MIDLAND RAILWAY.
A number of greatly improved first-class carriage°
have, the Leeds Mercury says, been added to the roiling
stock of the Midland Railway. One difference is WO
they are much larger than those hitherto used, till
body of each carriage measuring 28 feet in length, an°
consisting of four compartments instead of the cue* •
tomary three. The exterior presents a handnate
and substantial appearance, with several iiatlrolv
ments, including the greater safety afforded by •
larger footstep. It is in the interior, however; that,
the changes for the better are most numerous,
apparent. The new carriages have in the first Piaceta
the advantage of being more commodious than the ola
ones. They are at least 8 inches higher in the 1.004
measuring 7 feet in height from the floor, whichle'avee
room for even a tall passenger to walk out of in With-
out damage to either his head or hat. Each con:Wart'
ment is 7ft. 6in. broad from side to side, by 6ft: 41n.
wide from end to end. When only a single seat upoo
one side is occupied, the passenger can lie down con'
fortably full length over the whole width of the 'car-
riage, the usual arm rests being so attached that their
can be turned up out of the way when not require
In order that travellers may more easily seethe countrl
through which they pass, the side Windows have beeu
much increased in size—being 2ft. 61n. in length 13Y
lft. 51n. in breadth.

I