The Press.
London, England, 1855-08-11 00:00:00

THE WEEK.

THE week has not been remarkable for any very stirring events eithe
at home or abroad. Parliament has been busy forwarding unimportant
and throwing over other bills. Lord JoHN RUSSELL, whose nature, it
would appear, is not capable of perfect resignation, made an attempt to
regain his lost popularity, and has nothing now left to him but reflec-
tion and oatmeal in the Highlands. Several Ministerial changes
have occurred ; the Hon. NV. COWPER accepting the Board of
Health ; Mr. BAINES retiring from the Poor-Law Board, suc-
ceeded by Mr. BOUVERIE, whose place in the Board of Trade
is filled by Mr. LOWE, the gentleman who has been carefully
coaching himself for the higher offices of State, and who is eloquently
described in the Morning Post as pre-eminently " the right man in the
" right place," a cant expression, which is becoming too common to
be true in all oases. In France, a curious discovery of a Legitimate
conspiracy to raise an insurrection in Spain by means of Russian
roubles, offers another instance of the intricate policy and wide spread
power of Russia, who alike stimulates Democrat and Legitimist to
excite revolution and harass the Western Powers.
The adhesion of Spain to the Western alliance, and her proposal
to send twenty-five thousand men to the seat of war, opens another•
prospect to us of loans and subsidies.
Sir WILLIAM MOLESWORTH has not inaugurated his State Secretary
ship with éclat. He commenced by a very bad speech upon the hust-
ings, and ended by a worse defence of it in the House. He could not
deny the allegations Mr. Co BOEN brought against him, and he had not
the frankness to acknowledge them. His reply to Mr. COBDEN was
the very essence of the feebleness which a bad cause induces : no ex-
planation was offered for his sudden change in opinions which furyears
he has held ; and when he was called upon to retract the most un-
warrantable expressions which he had used upon the hustings towards
his former colleagues he could only find it in him to say, after it had
first been proposed by his master, that he had mistaken an accidental
union for a skilful combination. Some remarks in the Times of
Monday, upon the debate, called forth a stinging reproof from Mr. COB.
DES, who fixed the article pretty plainly upon a iately-elected gentle.
man to an office in the Board of Trade.
The debate upon Naval Promotions on Thursday night offers a
curious illustration in favour of the system of purchase in the army,
and of how little modern reformers of the army and navy really un-
derstand the question upon which they speak. Merit is the magic
word of some, seniority of others ; now merit and seniority, as a
means of promotion, are combined in the navy, and yet were
there ever such a notoriously discontented set of men as naval officers?
And in some cases with a great show of justice—for it is a difficult
thing, as Sir CHARLES WOOD observed, to reward the claims of
seniority and those of merit at the same time—the recognition of the
one necessarily leads to the exclusion of the other. The assertion of
Captain SCOBELL—that the great evil of the naval system is that when
a lieutenant is promoted for merit he is put on half-pay and never
employed again unless he has distinguished himself in a more than
ordinary way, or possesses extraordinary interest to obtain a command—
would, we think, hardly be borne out by fact. Many lieutenants when
promoted marry, and do not wish for further active service—a coast
guard station or some quiet berth on shore is all they desire; and post
rank in many instances would not better their position. But yet,
when on half-pay, if an officer desire to improve himself, tho Naval
College is always open for study in steam and other professional
branches of education, and few officers who avail themselves of this
opportunity are passed over in promotions or appointments to com-
mand. The system works better since the Retiring. Lists were en-
larged. If we want young admirals we must have young captains ;
youth and activity are the very essence of efficiency : and yet Captain
SCOBELL proposes that promotion be retarded in the lower ranks. If
so, we shall in future years only relapse again into aged post-
captains and superannuated admirals. We cannot understand how
Mr. Tura, who is presumed to advocate " the light man in the right
place," should agree with a plan which would retard promotion, yet
favour the retirement of all officers, of whatever rank, after a certain

age. The debate afforded another proof of the failure of the Adminis-
trative Reformers, for, after Admiral NVAtcorr had borne well-deserved
testimony to the energetic naval administration of the Duke of
NORTHUMBERLAND, and the provision he had made for the efficiency of
the service, Members felt that there would be nothing else worth
listening to, and—the House was counted out.

No intelligence of any moment has this week arrived from the
°amp. The attack which we had reason to anticipate would be made
about the 6th has, we perceive, been postponed from the preparations not
being sufficiently advanced. The pick and spade are the weapons most
used by the allied Generals, yet nnder that " feeble cannonade" which-
Prince GORTSCHAKOFF so constantly announces the most gigantic pre.
parations are making for the sixth bombardment and second assault
Both French and English are pushing their approaches close up to the
Redan and Malakoff—sap and countermine, battery and trench, are
stretching out on all sides towards the doomed points—while the
Russians upon their side are making every effort commensurate
with their vast means and determined spirit. A new view appears
lately to have sprung up in the camp that the possession of the
Malakoff will insure the immediate capture of the south side of the
ttmn, and hence rumours that the attack will be directed solely upon
this tower. Our mistake throughout the war has been that of under-
estimating the resources of our enemy, and after all the experience
M a teh months siege we do not seem at HU inclined to allow him

i

AUG. 11, 1855.

Be nonchalant as they go on,
Give friends a wink and foes a yawn,
And foes a yawn,
Give friends a wink and foes a yawn.
Adroitly " riling,"
Slily smiling,
Facetious winking,
Questions blinking,
In short, from every duty shrinking,
But of the day
That brings the pay
Called by the title of Quarter-day.

For Houses of Commons feel no disgrace
In leaving such pantaloons in place.
A blush divided is not much weight
To each of six hundred and fifty-eight,
Six hundred anti fifty-eight.
A blush divided is not much weight
To each of six hundred and fifty-eight.

THE WHITEBAIT DINNER.
THE Ministerial Whitebait Dinner, which usually precedes the close of

the session, took place on Wednesday last at Hart's Trafalgar, Green-
wich. Forty convives were present. The banquet was an unexcep-
tionable one, and went off amid the utmost good humour. The state
of the Thames water was one of the topics of conversation, and much
innocent mirth was occasioned by the Premier's picking out several of
the less healthy-looking whitebait from his second help, sending them
round with his compliments to the ex-President of the Board of
Health, and asking if he wasn't ashamed of himself. The staple jokes
about loaves and fishes were exchanged by those who dined for the
first time on such an occasion, and Sir Charles Wood made an
excellent epigram about a whitebait not being a bite noir, only the
explanation took him a long time. .

The routine toasts having been disposed of,
Lord G RANVILLE proposed the health of the Ministry, coupling it
with that of the Premier.

Lord PALMERSTON said that he had had the happiness to dine
once or twice before at the Ministerial Whitebait Dinner—(laughter)—
and he hoped for the pleasure of meeting the party before him, or
th .ir successors—(sensation)—that time next year. Mr. Hart had taken
vary good care of them, and his own opinion was that a hart was a
much pleasanter creature to meet than a Roebuck. (Applause.) They
had changed this time from the Crown and Sceptre to the Trafalgar ;
for the shock of looking round the well-known room at the former
hotel, and missing many of the old familiar faces they had met there
last year, would have been too much for the sensibility of some of
them. Where was Aberdeen, where Newcastle, where Gladstone,
where Graham, where Herbert, where—(the noble lord was here overcome
by emotion, and unable to speak for some moments)—where was Russell ?
But he would not dwell on such themes upon an occasion of festivity—
sorrow was the common lot, and it was our duty to be thankful for
what was left to us rather than to repine at what wo had lost. They
had assembled at the Trafalgar—a name which, of course, reminded
him of Nelson and the immortal signal. Well, some people were ill-
natured enough to say that, to judge from the confusion which existed
in certain departments, and the desire which some folks had evinced
to transfer their responsibility to others, a Minister of the present day
was like England, for he expected every man to do his duty. But that
was a weak invention of the enemy. (Applause.) However, self-
praise was no commendation, and he would not take credit to the
Ministry for anything they had done, or abstained from doing, but he
would only congratulate them all on meeting that day, and express a
hope, slightly modified from the celebrated toast of one of the wicked
clubs of Charles the Second's time, namely, that all who were not
kicked out in the meantime might meet there next August.
(Applause.)
Lord GRANVILLE said that there was a good Ministerial custom
which had fallen into desuetude.
Sir CHARLES WOOD said that " if it had fallen into de suet you'd find
it come out rather greasy," and he was immediately placed in the
corner of the room, and forbidden to return to the table until he could
say something better.
Lord GRANVILLE proceeded. The custom had been the naming
and rewarding that member of the Ministry who at the end of the
session was found to have attended most regularly to his duty. Ho
had been speaking to one of the whips.
Sir CHARLES (from the corner): " He'd settle the question in a
crack." But this, it was agreed, would not do.
Lord GRANVILLE: But the merits of several individuals were so
nearly equal that it was difficult to adjudge the prize ; besides which,
Ministerial changes had complicated the matter So no prize would
be given this time, but he gave notice that next session there would
be a fair start, and both the cup for the best-behaved boy, and the
wooden spoon for the worst, would be presented by whosoever might,
in August, 1856, hold the office he had then the honour of holding.
Provisionally, he thought that (divisions apart) the latter article had
been fairly earned by Vernon Smith, for the worst speech ever made
about India or anything else. (Laughter and applause).
The PRESIDENT of the BOARD Of CONTROL would accept the dis-
tinction without a murmur, but if bad speeches, or general blunder-
ing, were to obtain it, instead of the old legitimate lobby business,
several of his friends ran him rather close. What did they think of
the Newspaper Stamp Bill, which had eonfused the whole country,

761.

from the Postmaster-General to the news-boy—what of the Scotch
Education Bill, what of the Tenants' Compensation ? (Cries of
" Order. order.") It was all very well to say order (and he hoped
Granville would order some more claret), but he did not see why the
spoon should be given to him.

Lord PALMERSTON said that the honourable party was ungrateful.
Could anything be more delicately complimentary than the asking a
man to dinner, and presenting him with his own likeness? (Roars.)
Sir CHARLES WOOD pleaded that that joke was good enough for
two, and was allowed to come out under cover of it.
Some other toasts were proposed, and among them the health
of the LORD CHANCELLOR, who returned thanks. He was very much
obliged to those friends who had made him Chancellor, for the office
gave him very little trouble. He introduced scarcely any bills, and
whatever law measures were dealt with in the Lords, Campbell, and
St. Leonards, and Brougham were good enough to put into ship-
shape. lie rather piqued himself, however, upon the elegant manner
in which he handed her Majesty's speech to her at the prorogation,
and he regretted to hear that this time he should not have the oppor-
tunity of distinguishing himself. (his Lordship was hereupon ordered
to rehearse the ceremony, with a table-napkin for a whip, and the bill of
fare, which he had kept as a "document," for the speech, but he refused,
saying that it was treating a solemn subject with levity.)
The LORD PRIVY SEAL returned thanks without having had his
health drunk, because he declared he had no notion of being thrust
off to the end of the evening, when nobody listened to anybody. He
gave a lucid sketch of the history of all past Governments, from the
theocracy down to the Coalition, and proved, logically, that a Govern-
ment which contained himself must be an improvement upon any
other form. He concluded by saying that he would then take leave.
Lord PALMERSTON : Hoar, hear! Good night, my boy.
The LORD PRIVY SEAL requested that he might be heard out. He
would take leave to propose the health of the Lord Presi lent, who had
many good points about him, and who, if he took pains, and the advice
of those competent to give it, might attain distinction. _

Lord GRANVILLE said that he was thankful for so much encourage-
ment, and should remember that his Grace was bountiful. He (Lord
Granville) had described himself as a " buffer" in the Lords the other
night, and he flattered himself that his forte did lie in preventing
collisions.
Sir CHARLES WOOD: From your constant attendance in your box
I should call you an Opera buffer. (Derision.)
Lord GRANVILLE : The u in " buffer" is long.
Sir CHARLES WOOD: Nothing should be long at this time of tho
evening.

This hint broke up the party, and they returned to town by the
Widgeon, the only misadventure being the unhappiness caused by
Sir Charles Wood's insisting on declaring that it was a be-widgeon
scene ; but he professed his penitence before landing, and voluntarily
added that he only said it pour passer le Thames.

YOUNG SIR ROBERT'S FAITH.
I firmly believe that the country has the strongest confidence in her Majesty's M Misters.—
Speech of Sir R. Peet at the Polish Meeting.
Dear me, if you really believe
What you say, how amazing your swallow !
What miracles won't you receive !
You'll have faith in the fictions that follow :

In a moon of green cheese all composed,
In the Fount of Perpetual Youth,
In Lord Palmerston being disposed
To be guided by Honour and Truth;

That wens' heads 'neath their shoulders will grow,
That sea-serpents meander the deep,
That Lord John is a generous foe,
And that crocodiles verily weep ;

That Cranworth knows something of Law,
That witches can ride on a broom,
That soothsayers truly foresaw
In cheeps' entrails the Commonwealth a doom ;

That your brother—dear Freddy, I mean—
Is genial and gen'rous and kind,
That Wood's intellect's brilliant and keen,
And Carlisle not deficient in mind ;

That the Wandering Jew is no myth,
That Moleaworth's by no means a prig,
That no coxcomb is poor Vernon Smith,
And that Palmerston's really a Whig ;

That mermaids still float o'er the wave,
That Argyll is modest and shy,
That bodies can rise from the grave,
And Demagogues cease to be sly;

That Lewis is sparkling and bright,
Panmure not the least addle-pated,
That Deathwatches tick in the night,
And Fairies fright people belated.

In short, your belief is so vast,
Your swallow so very capacious,
I shouldn't much wonder at last
If you thought your own self quite sagacious.

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