The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1868-07-14 00:00:00

Varietins.

A REMAIN. —" Mew r
QUINN EuzansTs's I'AVOUBITI STIMULANL—Betsy boniCll.lColl4.lllteLllALtall,—The infant claimant to We Melt.
British Brandy.
Fthe"soall-Thsoa rrethals"s aitiLl4
mut-Gags/ .4liOa.oos..pec—Gtecnatlomen toappevidartining
Striae/I.—A young lady who is visiting a country
that is rather " difticult" in the matter of stiles, informs
na that she is not yet acclimbalized.
VERY INCONYZNIUT, CIIIITAINLY.—Tbe short dress,
which Is now coming into fashion, will prove, we tam,
vary inconvenient to a lady who travels much by rail-
road, as she must, under the circumstances, invariably
mim her train/
l'sweivs THOI3OIIT.—In his speech on the vote of
thanks, the Prentier raid, "Happy is the man who has
been thrice thanked by his country." Well, the country
has twice thanked Mr. Disraeli, and it was on his two
resiguntions. lie may be happy yet.—Peasch.
CLEON AND I.
Cleon hath • million acres,
Neer • one hare I;
Cleou dwelleth In • palace,
In • cottage I;
Clem bath ado:en fortunes,
Not &penny I ;
Yet the poorer of the Oran Is
Clem, and not I.
Clem, true, pc...meth acres,
But the landscape I ;
11.11 the charms to ma It )lelGete
Money cannot buy;
Cleon harbours sloth and dullnesst,
Freshening vigour 1;
Ile In velvet, lie fustian—
Eicher man am I.
Cleon is a slave to grandeur.
Free as thought me I;
(loon fees • more of doctors,
Need of none have I:
Weath surrounded, care environ'd,
Clcon fears to di.;
Death may come, hell find me ready—
Happier man ant I.
Chinn use no charm. in nature,
In a daisy I;
Cleou bears no anthems singing
In the sea and sky;
Nature sings to me for over,
Bement listener 1;
State for state, with all attendants,
Who would change not I.
LEOMMATI COMPLAINT.—The Ritualists separate the
vexes in Church. l'aterfamiliae writes to • paper com-
plaining of this. He has been in the habit of sitting by
his wife for twenty-five years, "and who," he piteously
"IS, under the new plan, to pinch me wheel snore
out at the stupid sermon r The clergy ought to see
to this.
" PASSING STRAIIGL"—It appears that the Princess
Louise la a sculptress, and that she bail done a boat of
her Majesty. Strange, that • Princess, whose Royal
mother,
"By precept aud example too,"
has always Impressed upon her mind, not only the duty.
but the /sappiness, of being good and jest in all things,
should, and at such an early age too, act so ungratefully
towards that mother as to ' chisel " her!

A WELCOME TO NAPIER AND HIS ARMY.
'Twat Old Napier ol Magehist.un Ilra won the crown
Which • Napier has never been warding to wear:
And Napier of Markle now bring. renown

To a stock with scarce room a now honour to bear.
Let the heart of old England he vocal with thanks,
Let the Joy of old England he uttered in cheers,
Thed know no distinction of races or ranks,
But of chief and of army, alike, own "us peen..
?icier had Captain or aoldiers • worthier came,
Nor themselves of that muse did more worthily boar;
Maintaining, not outraging, Chivalry's laws,
Till they tracked tl.e hymn a to Magdala's lair.
La all the strange hardships through which they ham pest,
Foes or friends had the due that to either belong.);
In march, halt, or light, from the first to the last,
Not. woman was outraged, or peasant war wronged.
From the salt of the am, and the .and of the shore,
Through the wall of the mountain a door-way they cleft
Up the torrent bed slow ly by surely they bore,
Over Alp upon Alp irraolgibly strove.
If the loads were too heavy for scaling the track,
If the followers shrank from such march,., dismayed,
Let load. be abandoned, and follower. ..A wick
The track must be scaled, and the march must he made.
On and on, up and up, ever higher and higher,
But forwards, stlil f waanl., they held an their way:
Tlil the basalt of Magda)* e back their lire,
. . . . .

And the tyrant Arial, fiord in hlafastnee;,•-it bay.
email renown such. f.e to hi. conqu'ror on bring ;
With the realm, not the chkf, Wa•lthe battle they won:
But from holier cause never warfare did .pring,
Nor gave retrospect fairer, alien fighting wa. done.
T.,ou in no doubtful quarrel, fe no sordid ends,
Not to humble. rival, or win land Of fee ;
But to prove England count, nut what treaeure she spends
If the wronged she but rights, and the captive seta free.
—Punch.

- -
PUNCII ON LADIES' DWI AT TIM PRESENT
DAT. —Mr. Punch and I went to an evening party the
other night, arriving es we were hidden to do, at the
rational hour of ten ; but no sooner had we entered the
drawing-room than Mr. Punch drew back, and said with
• shocked, almost solemn air, "We have evidently
come too soon, for the ladle, have not fichilied dressing
themselves." I said meekly that I thought he was
mistaken. "We must have come to the wrong hoses,
then," he ejaculated quite fiercely ; " and, in Heaven's
name. Mrs. Punch, among what sort of company are
we? Let us retire forthwith." But up stepped the
hostess. • charming young lady, the modest wife of •
fond husband, the mother of sweet children, acal lo and
behold, she WM as outrageously dressed u • dancing girl
at • fair I An awful boss of some hairy material son
mounted her heed, and the remainder of her costume
might be said to consist of • pearl necklace, pearl ear-
rings, and a white silk train commencing at the waist.
Of anything pretending to be • bodice there 11114 no
sign. What are we coming to, then? What does It
prognosticate when mothers and wives drug in the
style of Anonym..? Is it done to please the men we
wish our daughters to marry? What • lesson for
them Is this drawing•room spoetaclo I What an
incentive to decorum! Oh, fie. ladies! Born your
chignon; every one of them • cut up your trains into
vestments for your shoulders, dears ; fancifully u
Nature draftee the flowers, if you will, but with
regard to comfort and propriety. and see how the men
like that. If ladies adopt this insufficient mode of
hall-dress out of economy there might be something
said in it, favour, but as it is, they spend double and
treble the money necessary to cover their shoulders,
upon pyramids of false hair, so firm and securely
fastened that the Bed= hardly stood cannon balls
better than they would do. A clergyman's wife, in
that mild and benignant manner in which clerical
ladies are wont to handle the parochial reins, not loltit
ago suggested the desirability of liveries for female
servants; but on the principle that modest dress, like
charity, should begin at home, I commend other reforma-
tions to the lady's notice. If liveries would keep
houaemaids and cooks from vanity and rain, for
Heaven's sake, rev, madam, let the system be intro-
duced among their betters! What • revolution would
be effected in society if some enterprising Moses were
to set up • grand millinery and drapery mart where
ladies could luny costumes exactly proportionate to
their hueband's incomes. Let us begin with the £lOO
department. Straw bonnets, of any colour, trimmed
with ribsod, no flowers nor veils, except Shetland
veils worn on hygienic principles to prevent tic-doloureux,
Huey dresses for winter, serge for Sunday.; cotton
and alpacas for summer, with cloth or alpaca mantles.
Next let no take the £5OO depart/nen; Plain net
bonnets for summer, plain velvet for winter; dresses
u before, with the addition of black silk, and mantle
of same material for mummer. £7OO department.
Bonnets as Wore, with the additions of neat flowers
and one small feather; grey silk for summer, silk
mantle trimmed with jet, French merino or black silk
for winter; choice of mantle. from £3 to £5. And
so on: do, dear Mrs. Roster, see what you can do in
this stutter, and when you have reformed the mistrials's,
then tarn your attention to the maids. —Atm Potectes
Utters to her Dottgliter.

COUSIN ALICE.
And mo you're married. caught at Met ;
tt ell, here's your health, my daioty cotuin.
You jilted me, but a hat el that I

• •••••• •
In only one of half-a-down.
"Poor," that was it; eh, bitter word.
It menu but yesterday you spoke It;
I trust he weer. a decent coat,
Mid hoe • shilling In his pocket.
I hope he brings what love demands
And keeps you proud one, in a pdsioe.
I always leas a rime's; dog,
A useless fellow, Cousin Alice.
I never had the knack to please,
My ways acre not gentecl—wisteedy ;
I had no chance aith men of taste
To win, In moth, le tine a lady.
And /et who know., I might have grown
Lew wayward an•l • shade more tender;
I might have •ofteted in Use light,
Fair cos, of our bewitching splendour.
I might have leaned In time, perchance,
To ape the fashionable trraoes,
Or found delight in il.plog tongues,
And laughing ryes and sunny fame.
But there, I'll turn It to the wall—
The face I worshiptid madly, blindly,
Nor aear withal so floor. heart
As breathe. word of you unkindly.
think you might have loved Inc )et,
Mad fortune placed me in your stnl4on•
Or had I been • worthier man.
And, cousin, not " a poor relation."
111 think—or better Kill, forget,
Nor wrong you with • thonght a malice.
May peace and Joy and bliss be yours.
And love and sunshine, °omen Alice,
—Caren Magazine.

Hou.owAy'm onrrit En. AND PILLS.--80roft11002 WM,
blotches, eruptiocui, and all skin disemes soon pass away
before the action of this extraordinary ointment, which
produces its effects with a rapidity and certainty never
experienced by any other mudicioe in the world. Many
of the ordinary eruptions are caused by suppressed per.
spiratioo, and as this penetrating unguent at ones opens
the pores and invigorates the absorbents, it disperses
the Inflammation by a double prooees. Few external or
internal diseases can withstand the joint influence of
Holloway's remedies whilst the ointment cools and
wallies outward complaints. The pills, by purifying the
blood, improving digestion, end stimulating the kidneys
tbmoly, throw out from the system those subtle
entruMdme which engender orysipelee and its emaciated
silnieuta