The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1881-03-22 00:00:00

WEST SOMERSET STEEPLECHASES.

49114Mtiti.

A comutermrpter of • Richmond paper wrinerliw.— -
"Jost after we left Rouncevilla, Judge at
Charlottesville, commenced his jokes, and soon had Jus.
passengers in • roar, ' tell you what loan do,'said the
judge to a correspondent of • New York paper. • You
may think of any tune you please, whether I have haled
It or not, and by seeing you keep the time with your
fingers, I will tell you what you are
kqying.' The
correspondent was scepticaL After thin • mom*
he commenced piano-playing on the back o the Not in
front of him, with all the grate of • professicoaL ' WWI
am I playing now" be asked, with an air of tetempla
• You are playing the fool,' replied the judge."

[Prom Referee.]
Tee Morning Post is to be reduced to a penny. "The
hopper suckle's how' horgin" a penny I 0, these be
Radical and Communistic times indeed I Mr. James
Yellowplush cried his eyes out when he beard then.
and fainted in the arms of the upper housemaid. Of
course, the Morsoig Post will now be called the Penny
Poet. While they are about it, the proprietors might
bring it down to • halfpenny, and call 11th. Postcard.

(From Punch.)
Ma. Joirw DILLON thinks that he will be one ol the
first to be arrested under the Peace Prwiervation Ant.
His friends, it is said, share his present convidion, We
hope they won't share his future one.

RILEIONABLI ADVICI TO ALIA
Bays Aaron to Moses,
" I've got Trichinosis I
Bays Moses to Aaron,
"You shouldn't Pork fare on."
ROYAL PRACTICAL JOKL

- --
We are delighted to me that our beloved Queen is is
excellent spirits, Nothing, for a long time, has given.
greater pleasure than reading in the court circujiiir eg
Thursday last how Her Gracious Majesty assembled a
Council at Windsor, and then, whim the gravest possible
business was being transacted.—
" Her Majesty pricked the Sheriffs at the Council!
How those Sheriffs (bless 'em!) must have jumped and
roared again and how Earls Spencer, Sydney, and M.r.
John Bright—who were " all there "—must have soreanwid
with laughter.
. _ .

Ah ! t; quote Mr. Terry, in Aii Baba, "W• ar• • wary
(Royal) Family—we are !--we are !"

SOLO-L-EID B-oftsw-tm.,
Air—"
She wears a splendid jewel in her crown,--
Can-dw-bwi I
Expensivo Afghan jewel In her crown,
Ganda-bar 1
If we give it up. there's Quetta,
(Lytton's owns) as good or better;
But then—where's our Imperial renown?_ _

Caa•da•hir
But thou, where's our Imperial rows?
A NMI AND QUINT.

Wife (given to Literature and the Drama): Goons,
what is the meaning of the expression, "Go to!" yes
meet with so often in Shakspeare and the old drantatiats?
Husband (not a reading man) : Don't know, I'm
drar, unless—Well,—p'raps he was going to
thought it wouldn't sound proper!

THE WILLTHILE.
(By one who is much affected by ft.)
What made me careless, cheery, gay,
What made ma throw ten pounds away.
And cheerfully 40E20 large bills pay?—
The Weather.
What made my head feel iron-bound.
What made me kick my favourite hound.
Quarrel with wife and friends all round 7
The Weather.
What made me "pen wide my coat,
And get into a penny boat,
And talk of Springtime like a" Pots?"
The Weather I
What made me suddenly feel ill
What gave me such a fearful chl
That I went home to make my 7
Weather I