The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1888-01-07 00:00:00

AMONG THE BEARS OF

MONTANA.

A correspendent of the New York Sun writes It
was the third night out from Custer when we had the
satisfaction of introducing the Englishmen to their
first experience of the novel scene, known as a boar's
waltzing party. It couldn't have been a prettier sight
for the occasion jf it had been made on purpose. It
was in the fall of the year, and the wild plums and
black haws and rose-pips were ripe. Every fall the
bears come down from the mountains in droves and
take to the brush along creeks in search of berries.
A bear with his stomach full of ripe berries is a
comical cuss at times. A party of them that have had
a big day's debauch among ripe plums and haws will
sometimes celebrate the occasion with a waltz. A
waltz is what the boys call it anyway, although of course
it is not exactly a ball-room shindy; a berrying
party of bears having a high old time among them-
selves looks mighty like a waltzing party. As we
crawled nearer and nearer the grunting and whinny-
ing and cuffing grew louder and louder; and by put-
ting our ears to the ground, we could hear the patter-
ing tread of numerous soft but heavy feet moving
about. At length we saw a sight that none of us will
ever be likely to forget. As near as we could count
them, there must have been at least thirty-five head
of bear. They were a big berrying party of cinna-
mons harvesting their way back toward the mountains;
and they were celebrating a day's feasting with a
moonlight jollification or waltz. Every mother's son
of them was moving about bolt upright on his hind-
legs. Some were twirling round and round, like
children at play trying to make themselves giddy •
some were capering clumsily about like a dancing-
bear, while others were sashaying back and forth in
among them. It was a lively crowd of bears, a regular
cinnamon saturnalia, as one of the Britishers afterwards
called it. In the company were cinnamons that easily
stood 7ft. high, when bolt upright, and from that height
they graded down to last spring cubs that didn't stand
much above three. Every bear present was dodging
about and waltzing as lively as a lot of humans at a
fancy ball. Every one of them was making some
kind of a noise. The Englishmen afterward allowed
that this was from the excitement of the waltz, and
from so many of them being together; but Sage-
brush and I knew better. We had seen the dance
before, and had heard the same whinnying and grunt-
ing always, and so we knew that it was a regular
part of the performance, just like the orchestra at the
Custer balls. The noise that sounded like muffled
blows we couldn't at first make out. By-and-by,
however, several of the biggest bears sashayed over
toward our positi3n until they were not more than
forty or fifty yards away. As they whirled and
waltsed round and round, and dodged about and
waved their fore-paws up and down, we could see
them haul off and and fetch one another sidewise pats
with the flat of their big paws that sounded like the
thud of a muffled sledge-hammer. One of these pats
would have knocked any one of us out of time so
quick that we would never have known what struck
us, and yet we could see they were nothing but play-
ful little cuffs, given and taken in the best
of humour. We lay there, watching them
almost without drawing breath for fear of be-
traying our presence and scaring them off, for full
twenty minutes. Sometimes we were fairly spell-
bound by the weirdness of the scene and the strange
hubbub of their cries; and then again, as we thought
of the big woolly forms of the cinnamons circling and
capering around on their hind-legs, the whole thing
would strike us as so utterly comical that we had to stuff
our hats into our mouths to keep from laughing right
out. It is difficult to say how long we should have
lain there and watched them had it not been for a
little occurrence that upset all our calculations and
brought up the ball with a round turn. The whole
gathering had been gradually edging over in our
direction, as if they were doing it on purpose to. give
us more show to see them. A little knot of old bears
then circled off a little to themselves and apart from
the main crowd. They were whirling about and
enjoying themselves when all at once an. impudent
youngster, no higher than the middle rib of some of
the party, sashayed over to them and commenced
whirling about right in the thickest of them. One
of the old bears ceased his waltzing a moment
and waited till the cub came hustling by
him, when he fetched him a cuff on the
side of his head that bowled him over like a ninepin.
The youngster scrambled to his feet, and, nothing
daunted, commenced waltzing among them again as
lively as before. This cheeky proceeding seemed
altogether too much for the older bears; they all
turned their attention upon the unlucky cub, and
cuffed him head over heels faster than he could rise to
his feet. They cuffed him around so lively that the
scene was a good deal more than merely comical—it
was the most ridiculous thing any of us had ever
seen, and to save our lives we couldn't keep from
roaring right out. In a twinkle the whole crowd of
waltzers were down on all fours and scampering off
into the brush like critters frightened clean out of
their wits. The transformation from perpendicular
waltzers to loping fugitives was so sudden and com-
plete that it was, if possible, still more comical than
the cuffing of the cub; all we could do was to roll on
the ground almost choking with laughter. With five
loaded Winchesters ready to hand we never fired a
shot. We couldn't have shot bear of them if they
had waltzed up and asked us do it as a favour.

IT is getting to be a common expression for a man
to say his baby weighs a ton. It is generally the kind
of a ton that a ton of coal weighs.
IT is the easiest thing in the world to be a philo-
sopher. All you have to do is to utter truths you
don't believe and can't make other people believe,
either.

WE are told that a Frenchman has invented a new
method of walking on water. We are very glad
to hear it, because we were becoming weary of the
old method.

HARsLrrT : "Why', Clarence, oldinan ! what are you
doing in the fireplace ?" Briskett : "Mamma objects
to having the curtains discoloured, old fel. Come in
and have a cigar. Plenty of room, you know.'

VIS,ITOR (to asylum): "That gentleman seems to
be singularly afflicted." Attendant: "Yes. He's
been trying all his life to find out from the average
railroad time table at what time the train," arrive and
depaTt.''