The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1873-06-10 00:00:00

THE COMIC PAPERS.
(Prom Plena.)
_

A "Swrit." 0110;Y. —The Meraity Pod.
4.111" or coLunue Usioxs.—A fair day's work for
a fair week's oases.
A WELL-711W/ VlNlT.—Callinifor the Queen's Taus
on the Queen's Birthday. _

Tiir IfiIISESHOW.-1;rOom : "Got tle old mare
up again ! What's she been • Join all Winter?
117 no mare: "Runnin' in our milk-cart. Now,
sire's ' Lady Susan ' among the Park 'ache and phe—
sten 'ones ! "
NoTHIND 10 IMRE DIFFICULT THAN A DEFINITION.
—Teacher: "But do you understand, Nary Jonas,
what 'duty ' is?" Nary Jones: "Yea, miss ! Pleiheir
IMO with a white band round his arm, u takes yer on
pris'n !"
A CERTAIN PROPHECT.—To back any other horse
than the Winner of the Derby for the other great three-
year old race of the year, would be a sheer waste of
money, fur all Yorkshire, all England, knows that Don-
caster and the St. Leger are inaeparable.

" REAI4ON IN Wuusg."—Young wile: "George,
dear, I've had a talk with the servants this morning,
and I've agreed to mile their wages. They said every-
thing was so dear now—meat was so high, and coals had
risen to such • price, and everything-- I thought
this was reasonalde„ because I've so often heard you
cJiiiplain of the same thing."
Feta PLAT rot Even !—Castro, otherwise Orton,
1,. aildniseed an appeal for subscriptions, in aid of his
defence, to the newspapers, and 11011111 of them hare
published it. Fair play is sometimes said to be • Jewel.
but there would be more propriety in calling it a
horse—is it not always Fair play, under an alias, that
wins the Derby For endurance there is no horse to
equal Fair play ; but is it impossible to ride Fair play
te death.

Mumun licactrtimurt.—Mistress : "How is it
you Cilllo home home from your party so early last
night, Susan' Didn't you enjoy yourself? Susan:
"Ye., ma'am. But the young man as took me bin
to supper insulted me !" Mistress: "Insulted you,
Susan ? Why, what did he say!" Susan "Yes,
nia'am. He asked ine if my Pregnant MU full ; and I'm
sore I never 'ad nothing but a sandwich and.a glass of
lemonade, so I conic away home."

POETIC IMPLECTION.
The aid that Art to Nature pays
Quite to forbid we Deer can hope:
For who c'en Venus' self could praise,
II Venus were unhelped by soap?
(From Fem.)
"Lrerr Nrunen."—Our Derby OM
ONC or THIC FIRST FLIGHT. -Th. Champion Archer.
A FIELI, roe THE U. K. ALLuncs.- -Providing Hoe-
pital. for "Groggy " horses.
IoSTUNATE KiCArL Flageolet WAS not in the
Derby, or many might have paid too dearly— for their
whistle.

A NOD'S AS G 001) AS A WIN/L.—Tkie Weekl, Tines
speaks of • music hall artist who "with his grand
voice wakes up the audience with his stentorian tones."
To us this 'maws a very complimentary notice of
'the audience.
A ConeumEsT ?—Reetor : "Well, Thomas, and
what did you think of the Bishop's sermon last
Sunday ? Tummas Soor, oi didn't bike it a Lit; it
was by fur too plain and simple to suit ; oil oikes
a amount what joombles the joodgement, and confocales
the senate, and oi never come *crust one to come up
hi yeraelf for pruchin' they !"
'Pon NT DAVY !—The conduct of the ship-owners
with regard to Mr. measure for the protection
of the lives of our seamen has at last disgusted even
Neptune himself. We flee announced a new
invention, the " Ilrough" Patent Life Float, which is
manufactured only by the Patentees—David Jones and
Co. ! Think of Davey Jones preventing people from
going to his locker
1.14 E NOTE AM) THE ILAN.— The Hour assures us
that "there is dot spolitaansellie in London who would
not be startled into activity at the idea of being able to
watch, in the character of au amateur detective, the
proceedings of the 'Unprofessional Vagabotul' " We
cannot accept the statement till we know what is
meant by a pagnsancAt. Who are the London
" 400 e-eaters ?" Have they any connection with the
pins culotka of Paris?

SHOCKING RENULT OF HIGH PUCKA—The current
Cont of a stall at the Opera on a Patti night is
about four guineas. We regret to announce that •
poor young man, whom these high prices have ex.
eluded, has written to us to ask whether the prixia
donna ought not to be called "Patti de four guns,"
aiding, by way of explanation, that be refers to the
expense of "Pla de foie gnu." The poor fellow had
had a University education, and was Nat beginning
life with good prospects when be was thus
Contributions or • free admission to the Amylum for
Idiot, at Eariswood, may be sent to Pia OSee, Fleet-
street.