The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1866-11-17 00:00:00

THE POPE AND MR. GLADSTONE.
(From Punch.)

"Mr. Gladstone has had a long interview with His Holi-
ness, and is reported to believe himself to have wrought
certain convictions in the mind of Plot the Ninth."—Co.-re.-
-C.

Mr. Gladstone (bowleg with much elegance as he ap-
proaches His Holiness): Salve, Sanctitas
Ills Holiness : l'u gamine Wins ids, ml Ali.
Mr Gladstone: Flacetne paulisper confabniarl, Bandit's
His Ho then (smiling): Non teens° Moreover, hiving all
knowledge at our command, we shall be happy to convene
with you, Sir, In the tongue in which you are said to have
marvelous skill; we mean your own.
Mr. Gladstone I thank your Holiness. Visiting In the
Eternal City, with some personal and political friends, I
have thought it respectful to your Holiness to solicit the
Interview which has been so graciously accorded,
His Holiness Lain always glad to see visitors. Fanny Ellsler
came to see me So did Lord Dudley. Take a seat,
and pray forget that I am anything but an old Italian clergy-
man, who Is very happy to receive an English friend.
Mr, Gladstone Your Holiness's condescension is very
kind. But might I venture to ask its further extension?
His Holiness Reft, shment? Dabo tibi aliquid bon'. (le
about to sign to a servant,.
Mr. Gladstone: Ego domi jentaveram, thanks, your Holi-
ness I did not allude to creature comforta. I should not
have thought of such a thing.
His Holiness: I had an idea that you English never fancy
yourselves welcome anywhere unless you are set eating and
drinking directly.
Mr. Gladstone: We certainly eat and drink too much,
your Holiness, but some of us can clnnimate our appetites. I
was spout to ask your Holiness whether I should be regarded
as officious If I touched upon public affairs
His Holtman,: you know, I would much rather hear •
few amen totes of your London society.
Mr Gladstone: My poor budget should be heartily at
your Holiness's service, but you will be egged to receive a
visit from one who can tell you much more, I mean my
friend and late chief, the Earl Russell, who edited the
Journals of Tom Moore, and he has • very good memory for
the stories contained in that book . .

His Holiness: A. you please, my .on. But ot boot me
how your Ritualists Sr. getting on.
Mr. (hladstone: Not to .peak irreverently, Holiness, the
cauldron of mock-turtle soap will boil over one of these
dais, and then let the cooks look out for moldings.
H..lness : Itml turtle being at their service. I shall
not compliment their present tastes or sympathise to their
future misfortunes Enough with moi.aty.) And what does
Mr. GlodstOne wont to say to St. Peter?
. .

Mr. Glwletone Nay, II iour Ho!Lieu takes that attitude,
the humble visitor hos only t thank )our courtesy, and
withdraw. (Rises )
His Holiness: Sit down, can't you? I thought you would
appreciate a touch of flume. Do you want to talk Libera-
lism to too?

Mr Gladetone : 11,finitions, your Holiness, are perhaps
not the thing in the best society, but the word you have used
approximates to the suggestions I had ventured to think of
making.
His Holiness: Make them fearlemly. 1), you want me to
go away with you, and sail in Mr. Milner Gibeion's beautiful
yacht for Malta where I. shall be received with • salute from
the &With cannon, be treated with every luxury, and find
on my toilette table • book obligingly supplied by the British
and Foreign Blois Society Non poesumus
Mr. G:sdetone: I cannot sufficiently admire your Holiness'.
good spirits and pleasantry . Pleough out of emu., I may
take the liberty of assuring your Holiness that England
would know how to honour • venerable guest. It is not
with an inhospitable purpose that I would suggest what
might moue such asylum need!ms.
His Holiness: Shall I send a Golden Rose to King Gallant.
man ? . -

M. Gladstone , Better so, Holiness, than that Rome should
send to him to come for. that and some other articles.

-
Hie Mohnen: Antonelli would go mad to hear you
Mr. Gladstone The cardinal Is mad already. Quern Dens,
andeo forth, your Holinesa His counsels are most detri-
mental to your best interests.
Him Hollneu : There is an old proverb to the effect, that
If you can't kill your enemy, you should give him your
daughter to wife. I can't hang antonelli, so I obey tins.
Mr Gladetone: It is the earnest wish of all thoughtful
men, your Pollees., that anything like violence ehould be
avoided in the changes which are coming upon Rome. The
bigot. who repress personal hostility to a Pope are In a
miserable minority.
His Holiness Manning telegraphed to me that there were
a great many Goys in London on the Flint, and that several
of them represented myself.
Mr. Gladstone ?remedy, Holiness. Dirty boys and foolish
old women of both sexes represent your national enemies in
Englsnd if an Engitahman were so fortunate as to assist in
the settlement of your offficulties, he would receive the tsp.
;douse of the best part of Ids countrymen.
His Molina.: lam very glad to hear it. Poor England
shall he remembered—wherever I may have influence. But
pur English prescription I take to be more effectual than
agreeable lam to give up everything, and then nobody
will ask me for anything more.
Mr. Gladstone: Not so, your Holiness—
His Mottoes.: minatt They will ask me for more after I
have given up everything That will be rather exigeant
Mr. Gladstone: I scarcely like to submit alternatives to
your Holiness, built really appears to me that you will soon
have only Three Course. open to you.
Ills Holism : Name them, Peelid es
Mr Gladstone: Let me put it with more perlphrase than
I had intended. It may be that your Holiness will recon-
struct the present system here—it may he that you will prefer
retirement to another locality—it may be. pardon me, that
your retiremeut may be enforced by the Romans.
Ills Retormatiou—abdication—expubdon. Three
pleasant things. Well, of three evils, I will chootie the
Mr. Gladstone : I may venture to assume, and I do So
gladly, that your Holiness means--
His lionises. (smiling,: We most not tell all our State
secrets at once, and ton foreigner, before apprising our own
adviser. Be assured that we are much obliged by your
kind interest in our welfare.
lir. Gladetone: Ignome, queen, at qua In re offenderim.
His Moline.. : Rgo abs to Mem peto Discedamuv, for
such humble food as an aged priest can offer awaits as, and
If you do not say that the Lachrymal. scrumptious—
[Exeunt.
[But the Allocution of Grief and Defiance CIUM out all She
same I