The Press.
London, England, 1855-01-13 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

For those who are anxious about "details,"
It's said that the nuns who wear white veils
(As each her conviction urges)
Are bent upon showing their doctrinal skill,
And so combine tike Jesuit pill
With the usuil rhubarb purges
It's said that some others, as jocose
In their droll perversities as close,
Offer a semi-Papthtic dose—
A dose not amounting to felony ;
And this is the charge (not quite so gross)
'Gainst Miss Sellon's fair miscellany.
Between them all there's a deuce of a stew,
And a tussle who shall be master;
One says that lint of orthodox hue
Will make a wound heal faoter,
And one that a cut will bleed anew
If bound with heretic plaister.
Sister Anne declares that Sister Bridget
Is like all Puseyites, a fidget,
And Sister Bridget retorts that Anne
Is much too thick with the medical man.
And when they're cross'd and when they're vex'd,
They call each other giddy and vain,
And, when by anger quite unsex'd
(What they will never forgive again,
Either in this world or the next),
They even call each other "plain
And all the while the deal dragoon
Is anxious to recover soon,
For he thinks his nurses cruel,
As they frown and fret, and grumble and pout,
And fuss and fume, and flounce about,
With their gallipets and gruel.

Alas! the moral of the tale
Is plain, of verbiage shorn,—
That, whether feminine or male,
All Coalitions are so frail,
In Downing street alike they fail,
And in the Golden Horn.
The matrons who creep through their duties and sleep
In official charge of the war,
And some of the maidens who traversed the deep,
Are pretty much on a par;
By sham " sacrifices"
They cloak'd their devices,
Till their huffs and their cuffs,
And their mutual rebuffs,
Exhibited them as they are.
For us, therefore, as for the handsome dragoon,
The lesson is this,—you may welcome too soon
Uncovenanted mercies :
Of all our misfortunes we knew not the worst
Till we, like him, had been tenderly nurst
By the Coalition Nurses.

LORD JOHN AT THE TUILERIES.
PARIS, Jan. 11
Lord John Russell bad to-day a private audience of the Emperor.—Morning Chronicle.
Not so private, however, but that we are enabled to offer a report of what passed.—Passs.
The EMPEROR: Very glad indeed to see you here, my Lord. Is
there anything we can do for you in Paris ? I know that you do n
ot
ot
speak much French—shall I tell a secretary to go the round of
sights with you?
Lord J. R. (offended) : I thank your Majesty, but with the aid of a
vocabularly and " French Without a Master" I can manage perfectly

well.
The EMPEROR (musingly): French without a master, ha 1
Lord J. R. (recovering himself): Allow me to offer your Majesty
my compliments upon the wonderful improvements you have made
in Paris.
The EMPEROR : lam glad you approve &em. Lord Palmerston,
who, you know, was here the other day, was greatly delighted with
what we have done, and was good enough to wish that your own capital
could be dealt with in the same manner.
Lord J. R.: Palmerston has his merits ; but the very speech which
your Majesty cites shows his unfitness to be a Minister in a constitu-
tional country.
The EMPEROR (mischievously): He has done great good, they tell
me, in the way of social reforms.
Lord J. R. (loftily): Yes—yes—he has done something. That is
to say I—that is, we—permitted him to handle such subjects as he was
fit to treat. I need hardly add, reserving to men of another stamp the
grander reforms demanded by the times. r trust that he has not been
trying to make your Majesty believe that he is an important personage
in the Government?
The EMPEROR : Well ; of his intentions I can hardly judge, but he
certainly induced me to think that his retirement from the Cabinet
would destroy it at any moment,

Lord J. R. (indignantly): No statement could be more unfounded,
your Maesty. My Lord Palmerston has a certain audacity and volu-
bility, which make him an effective debater; but I assure your Majesty
that it is for the old Whig section of the Cabinet that the nation
reserves its enthusiastic devotion.
The EMPEROR : I was not aware of this, but it is instructive to
receive explanation from so high an authority. What hold.lapon the
people, then, have the followers of the late Sir Peel?
Lord J. R.: None whatever, your Majesty, because, though not
devoid of industry and smartness, they are of plebeian extraction, and
the nation looks naturally to the representatives of the old Whig
aristocracy to lead and direct it.
The EMPEROR : But you have also another party in your Cabinet—
the extreme Democrats. Surely they must share with you the regard
of the masses ?
Lord J. R.: I ought to explain to your Majesty that the condition
upon which we condescended to admit men of the class of which you
speak was their total renunciation of anything approaching to the
principle your Majesty has indicated. I may tell your Majesty in
confidence that one of the two men more particularly in question is
happy to give up everything if permitted to recite three or four times
a year a tremendously long theoretical speech ; and that the other
wants a peerage, which, equally in confidence, I apprise your Majesty
that he won't have.
The EMPEROR : Your Government is not very strong in the House
of Lords, I think?
Lord J. R.: Your Majesty is perfectly right—our strength is not
to be looked for there. The Premier of England—(they laugh)—l need
say little more. Palmerston's audacity often misleads him, but when
he branded his present chief with the words " antiquated imbecility,"
he was not far wrong.
The EMPEROR: Lord Granville ?
Lord J. R.: Speaks French very well, I am told. I should be
puzzled to mention to your Majesty his second merit.
The EMPEROR: Lord Clarendon?
Lord J. R. (good-naturedly): Well, we must not be hard upon poor
Clarendon. He does as he is bid. Besides, he rather belongs to the
elite of the party. Then there is Newcastle.
• The EMPEROR : I need no explanation of his capabilities. I have
seen your noble army ruined by his helplessness. Is your Chancellor
good for anything ?
Lord J. R.: What—Cranny? Well, now that your Majesty asks
me, I really don't think he is, but this is the first time I ever knew
anybody trouble his head about Cranny.
The EMPEROR : I am really very much obliged to you, Lord John
Russell, for giving me this synopsis of the Government of my friend
Queen Victoria. As far as I can make out from your exposition there
seems to be but one man in it who is fit to be a British Minister, and
in whom the nation has confidence, and he is good enough to be my
guest.
Lord J. R. (bowing): I had not designedly led your Majesty lo
that conclusion; but, as an honest man, I must not dispute it. At
the same time I think it right to say that Charles Wood is a very
worthy man.
The EMPEROR: He has your confidence? Then, in the event of a
Ministerial crisis, a new Cabinet might be formed upon the basis of
you and Wood.
Lord J. R.: In such a reconstruction I must own to your Majesty
that I see the only security for the Constitution, and for such reform
as is required by the age. Such a Cabinet would be amazingly
popular, while the intellect of its chiefs would insure it the respect of
the Legislature. For such a change we are quite prepared, and I have
obtained my friend Wood's assent to his elevation to the Lords,
where his oratorical talents would be invaluable. But all this is, if
your Majesty pleases, in the strictest confidence.
The EMPEROR : Cela va sans dire.
Lord J. R.: I beg your Majesty's pardon?
The EMPEROR: Cela va—O—l mean, of course, we are "tiled."
Lord J. R. (laughing): We have proscribed the word in Downing-
street, as for some reason it used to make Wilson uncomfortable. But
I understand your Majesty now.
The EMPEROR : Come and see me again before you leave, I may
have news for you from Sebastopol.

A LEADER FOR THE " LEADING" JOURNAL.

IT is useless to delay longer to look matters fairly in the face. We
have had for several days in our possession information, for disclosing
which we are, of course, prepared to be met with the usual cry, that
we are croakers and marjoys ; but tho people of England happen
to approve of the course we have been accustomed to take on
this and all similar subjects, and though we may be compelled
to meet the wrath of palace chamberlains and grooms, never-
theless we shall not, even at the risk of being called " the most
" disreputable journal in Europe," and sneered at in the servants'-hall,
be deterred from making public a fact that has reached us from several
quarters, as, indeed, such events somehow manage to reach us with
great rapidity. However disastrous the intelligence may be we are
bound, as the organ of English opinion, to state it, and the nation
must not shrink from receiving it. Concealment, if it were longer
practical, would be impolitic. But the fact cannot be kept back.
There is no denying it—QusEN Ansa is DEAD I