The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1872-09-14 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

An English traveller stopping at Washington,
noticing th St the waiter was unewinnokly serious. kindly
asked him if he was ill. Yes." very curtly he replied,
" I his." " What's the matter?' " Why, sir, Washin't,n's
the wus place I. see. When it s eryyon calit see where you're
and when Its wet you can't go.

- The pontiff man iz generally happy, bekanqe he in
pneatiff o! It, and, tho he dos things wrong of tenor than ho
don right, people are ph-azed at biz blunders bCkau.eoese so
muoh in earnest —3OsII BILLINGS This pa• a rapt. is thugs
thersture Wa presurav ii lz a pent:m.l conlottion o 2
Joeh

Some One who read a re-tent yarn by S—a, thonght
It would open oyst,rs. lie conuneteed the experiment by
spreading the blvslves le a circle, seat! rig him,elf ill the
ekntre, and beginning the yarsi—an advai.ture In Mexico.
Ax he pr Knelled the z atives"p4 interest... one by one
they gaped with astonishment, and as they gaped • leismi
whipped them out, poppsr.d them, and swallowed them.
-• •

- - ---
AN A MEIIICAN OAT. —Moak Twain does not give
Lis Ldlor a btrolig p oupoit In the following note from his
L uv,la :—" In Syria, oine, at the headwaters of the Jordan,
a cam, I took charge of my overcoat while the ten a were
tieing pitehed, and examined it oth a critics.' e)e all over,
svitti es mach latereat as if ho had an idea olget,ingone made
like it."

12.1oquy..NcE.—A negro orator thus concluclea an an-
rd the death 0 a coloured brother :—Thu but word
toot he was heard to say, the last word he was known to
speak, the last word he wat noticed to ntter, the last word
he este pronounced, the last syllable he pave vent to, the
hat idea he ever ejaculated yes, my brothers, the last word
he was ever known to breathe forth, sound, or articulate, was,
' Glory " Such ampldied preorath is are sometimes to be
heard from orators of renown who have three and more ways
of putting It.

- -
Ai. American girl bPing aAced if 'elle had not been
engaged to "a party by the name if Jackson, who was at the
thee a Ilarvard student," lankuldly replied, "1 remember
the circumstance perfectly, tut I am not certain about the
name." They are not smart in America. An English girl
would have remembered the party, Ihus—(Girl v. Jackson).
Breach of promise case, dAmages £l,OOO.
A Californian town in anxious to get its doctors to
repeat a vi‘it kAst which they mr.cle last slimmer, to attend
a medical convention. They were absent about two months,
and on their return they taut that all their patiente had
recovered, the drug stores had closet, the mines liad opened
dancing schrole, the cen et. ry was cut up into building lots,
the on ertakers had gime to making fiddle., and the hearse
had been gaudily painted and sold for a circus waggon I
A man in Oneida, N.Y., may truly be said to depend
upon lecturing for his living. Hm sister left quite a pro-
perty intrust for him; but knowing him to be peculiar anti
likely to spend it all, her will providedthat tie should reedye
eve aionsrs fir every lecture he *tumid deliver. And sobs
lectures morning, noon, and night, as opportunity offers, or
• little audience of children or adulte oan be gathered, if it
be onis a complaisant family group around a breaktut table.

. es
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