The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1868-04-04 00:00:00

PARLIAMENT SKETCHED.
(Thy one of our London Correepmdents. )

We are going to see how the laws are made--going
down pact the big bronze lions at l'rafalgar Square ;
peat the Admiralty, protected by amphibious animals
carved in stone, and the Horse Guards, watched by
mounted sentinels • past stuffy little Downing Street,
where the British hon has his lair, and past the grand
new government offices • down to the Houses of Par-
liament to listen to the deliberations of the " first
aseesibla.ge of gentlemen in the world." Splendid are
the Houses of Parliament in all the glories of their
new arched cloisters, of their spick and span iron rail.
ings, heavy with gilding, of their gorgeous lamps, sur-
mounted by the imperial crown, and of their recent
statue of Sir Robert Peel, which still stands clad in
a dirty cotton nightshirt, until such time as the Lords
and Commons shall be pleased to inaugurate it.
It is only half-past three o'clock, and the M.P.'s
' have not begun to arrive yet, for everybody knows that
the House does not sit till four. There are, therefore, no
horses in the shed where horsey members stable their
steeds ; there are no splendid carriages driving up to
the entrance; there is even no work for the long ranks
of calm stationed inside the gate. " Pore cabby is
asleep inside his " wehicle," and will doze there for
two or three hours until there is a rush home to
dinner by ravenous M.P.s—M.P.s imperious intone,
imperative as to speed, and particular as to the legal
fare—they being legislators, and acting on principle
of course! But the Palace of Westminster has many
sights to show besides these worthy gentlemen. Don't
go to sleep like "Pore cabby." Circumspice ! Let's
have a peep around. Here is Westminster Hall, a sight
worthy of the nation. A broad, broad street it is, walled
in with a Gothic wall, and roofed with a Gothic roof.
Nothing approaching to it exists elsewhere :no such
! space has ever before been covered by a roof springing
from wall to wall without a single pillar rest. And
such a roof—a forest of oak in beams, in arches, in
pendants, yet without confusion or overloading--
massive in its bulk and ponderous in its weight, yet
light and airy and regular in effect as a forest spider's
web. Away at the farther end a gorgeous stained
glass window, brilliant with armorial bearings, sheds a
mellow tinted light upon a broad flight of steps which
leads to the Upper House, statues of English kings
line the southern wall, and an Indian ink cartoon
hints at the decorations which are to be. Beyond
this cartoon a heavily-arched doorway shows the
members' entrance. And close beside us - - what
is this? 0 ye Gods! an orange stud! Oranges
and legislation! Ginger beer and oratory! And
laurel and green bays surrounding both ! Who is
this venerable dame, who has pushed her crape-sur-
rounded countenance and her tasteful collection of
"fruits in their season" into the porch of law-giving
and law-making? Has she sat herself down here, like
another poor widow we have read of, to vex the
judges across the hall with her importunity, while she
earns a comfortable living for herself? Is she the
representative of any of the journals which Mr. Punch
delights to honour in this same guise? Can she be
Mr. John Stuart Mill's female ' persoe " tacitly
demanding the recognition of the rights of woman
and a place on the electoral roll? Or is she the relict
of some departed Premier or Cabinet Minister, per-
mitted by a grateful country to haunt the hall where
once he trod, and still to supply the needful acidity to the
notice paper, and the prevailing froth to the debates?
Deponent knoweth not. Choose your own hypothesis;
only, if ever you have the chance, try her oranges. I
aver you will find them excellent, and the goodly dame,
whoever she may be, does not despise the coppers of a
country constituent.
It is coming this way—it "What is it?" ask the
loungers who have gathered ti see the big men of
Parliament go in. "Pshaw !an richer !" says one.
"A messenger" corrects another. "No, a barrister,"
says a third. It has a black gown on. It has a long-
eared wig on its head. It has a bundle of papers in
its hand. It is not over well-dressed. It can scarcely
walk, and " hirples" along with difficulty, as if gouty
or deformed. "Who is that?" asks an inquisitive by-
stander of a policeman. "I'm sure I don't know," is
the response. "But he is evidently a judge ; I fancy
one of the Heinle of Lords. They've been hearing
appeals to-day." Now it goes on, gaining a new
jtatus in the eyes of the underlings. It mac be clear
' in the brain, but it is certainly weak in the legs. Its
head may be strong, but its understanding is shaky. !
Therefore it passes along, amid reverential glances,
illustrating what's in a name. It belongs to the House
of Lords, you see. Here is another, but noble, intel-
A LADY FINED FOR BEATING A lectual, and commanding in appearance, and wearing
the long-eared wig and the black silk robe, and bar-
CHILD. rifitere follow by the couple be-wigged and be-gowned.
At the Liverpool County Magistrate's Court on The atmosphere is heavy with learning and with law.
Saturday, Mrs. Shaw, a lady residing at Elm Park, Some suitor has gone away rejoicing, and some client
Fairfield, was charged with assaulting and beating a has been sent home heavy-hearted, saddled who
little boy, about five years of age, named Herbert expenses because of this day's proceedings. But
Travis. It appeared that a feud had for some time other folks beside money disputants come here
existed between the Travis children and those of Mrs. to have their wronge righted and their hastily.
Shaw, which culminated on the 21st inst. by Master made bargains annulled. Over in yonder quiet
Travis giving a Master Shaw a good "hiding." Not corner of the hall is a door, and by the -side of that
content with this, Master Travis shortly afterwards door is modestly printed " Court of Probate." Here
ventured into the garden attached to the Shaw it is that happy legatees come to have the wills of the
premises and defiantly flourished a stick, challenging late lamented relatives proved, and diminished by he
his rival to another combat. This adding of insult to percentage which the State is pleased to deduct from
injury was too much for Mrs. Shaw. She seized the the bequests of the said late lamented. Here the

The Heir of the Crown of the Isles,
While Erin, in loyal communion
Of creed and class, brought him her smile&
A page further on, liras a prison
%Vitere law-breakers out, but the sun,
The great sun of Justice, new-risen,
Had blent " green " and "orange" in on*.
By an frisk-American plotter,
A Downshire grand-master I saw—
And Aseendency's pillars a-totter
By the firmly-based columns of law !
And the same sun of Justice whose beaming
No foul party colours could smirch,
A few pages further, its glenmieg
Had spread from the Cell to the Church.
And in its fair radiance were clustered,
Unhindered, the Protestant few,
While the Catholic myriads mustered,
To receive, not their dole, but their due.
No longer sly slave and hard master,
Like lions with lambkins at play,
Walked Popish and Protestant pastor
And worshipper, each his own way.
And there Irish landlord and tenant,
By fair-dealing no longer foes,
One grown honest, the other turned clement,
Made the waste places bloom like the rose.
For that new light of Justice in Heaven,
Was reflected by strange light 011 earth,
As with new pence new plenty was givmi,
Where lately retailed hatred and dearth.
These things in the new Irish history
That Pat showed his children, John saw
A morality 'twas—net & mystery—
And John shouted Erin-go-Bragh !—Puncis.

Admiralty Court sits to settle the disagreements of
such as "go down to the sea in ships : " but here also
is the Divorce Court, which kindly separates and puts
aarmder what the priest has unhappily joined toiret her.
The Court is sitting now, and there is time to nuare
until Parliament assembles. Let us enter for A
minute or two. No: "The Court is quite full, U a.
tlemen," says the smart policeman at the door. '• A
word in your ear my mall. " 11. porters on duty. I
beg your pardon, gentlemen." The heavy door swings
backward and we stand in the Court of Divorce. The
court is not "quite full" you see, but there is a taint
of immorality—a raking up of household filth and
depravity, and a bringing to light of matters which
ought to be revealed ; and our worthy janitor expects
to be "tipped" before he admits us to this treat. Your
Briton, your Londoner is not over nice in his ideas, he
liken to be thought fast, he does not object to drink in
all the obsenity which is poured into this legal common
sewer, and he and his mate come here to learn the
arts of intrigue, to prepare new rases for the worthy
judge and pay for the happy privilege of admission.
Faugh the moral atmosphere in not wholesome in
this place, let us out into the broad and beauteous hall
again.

reading," everybody is prepared to listen to ie. claims
of the old and the new water pots. A mends r leeply
interested in the bill states the amazing advantages of
the new measure; proving, as he thinks in-cnteritibly,
that from the date its pessing tbr country will be not
enlv more fruitful and prosperous, bid eat the whole
worki will be wiser and hetti T. He sits down perfectly
sell-satistied, and thus far all has gone favourably;
but a crusty opponent brusquely states that the
measure is obnoxious, and that Ire moves that the
second reading be" this day six months." The amend-
ment being seconded speech after speech is math',
scene caustic, some coaxini, some clever, and some
stupid, until the House can stand the subject no
longer, and honourable members quietly slip out and
go home to dinner. Still the debate drags its weary
length along until human patience is exhausted, and
cries of "Vide, 'ride" begin to break the flow of sonic
prosy member's utterance. Then, when everybody has
said his say in the matter, the leader of the House
rises in his place at the head of the miser. He clutches
the brass-bound box which stands before him, he
twists himself uneasily, and in a hum-and-haw sort
of manner announces the Government policy in this
great and important matter. As he seats himself the
Liberal chief gets up at the foot of the mace on the
opposite side of the table, intimates in a few well-
chosen words that the ministerial policy is most
abominable, and that he will support the amendment
ascii jpress . the matter to a division
. . _ _ _ _

-Now the members are assembling-Mr. Speaker
has been at prayers, and has finished his devotions,
and now the lagging M.P.s are hurrying into the
House. That firm-footed, self-reliant, gray-haired
man is Robert Lowe. This little one with the
blinking eyes and the nervous twitching face is John
Stuart Mill. That with the broad English face and
the quaint garb is John Bright. This honest, ruddy
countenanced Lancashire man, is Lord Stanley.
That huge head and thoughtful face belong to Mr.
Gladstone, and this thin figure with upshot shoulders,
with elfin lucks, and ascetic ' 'countenance is Benjamin
Disraeli, Prime Minister of Britain and Ireland. The
rest are the nobodies, the rank and tile of the "first
gentlemen in Europe." And a pretty lot of gentle-
men some of them make- uncouth, ill clad, and not
apparently overstocked with head-furnishing. But
are they really members of Parliament Watch the
door of the Members' entrance and you shall see. One
half of it is open; behind the other half stands a
policeman. A shambling, little red-headed figure
comes, and at his approach the constable swings the
door hack to admit his dignity. He is a Member of
the House. A well-dressed gentlemae-like man ad-
vances, but the door never moves. lie is not a mem-
ber; he is a reporter, a clerk, a nobody. Sometimes, and
often, the case is different; the man who looks a gentle-
man is the M.P., and the seedy man is the reporter:
but, as a literary man, I should be inclined to back
the reporters, the clerks, and the nobodies against the
Members, for good looks, good clothes, and mayhap
for good common sense.
But while we have been staring, the crowd has
thinned, and the broad flags are almost deserted. All
the noteworthy members who mean business have
gone in. Mr. Speaker has finished his prayers, and it
is high time to think about our own admieeion. Up
the broad flight of steps and up another flight to the
left we go, through a hall lined with the marble effigies
of departed statesmen, and now tenanted by expectant
strangers anxious to be introduced to the House,
hoping that the full Strangers' Gallery will soon be-
come empty, and that the orders which nestle so
coolly in their pocket-books will yet become available
-through a splendid circular hall, along a passage
lined with gorge°us paintings, fading, alas from the
plague of dampness, and now we find ourselves in
" the lobby" of the House.
What a crowd of people! Here the old game of
patron and client goes on. The worthy folks who
are driven into the corners by over attentive policemen
are constituents- the gentlemen who walk about the
guarde I passages are M.P.'s. The latter move to and
fro and already dive into the recesses of the tea-room
to refresh thirsty and persecuted nature. Now and
again they are caught by some one from the
corner crowds. That little man, who has just captured
a stalwart member and holds him familiarly by the
button, is a big man in the constituency, and a
staunch supporter. It won't do to offend him. Let
him hang-himself, says M.P. That other is a sup-
pliant for a post. He has a son-a boy of no mean
parts. You know the sort of boy-shock-headed
countrified, clownish, wheu you see him; but as
described, handsome clever-a genius. Happy father
wishes a nice little place for him, a commissionership,
say, or some comfortable sinecure. He must have a
civil answer, for his hatred may do harm. We'll see
about it. These others like ourselves only seek for
orders of admission, and are more easily satisfied. A
scrap of paper and a few cabalistic characters settles
their little matter.
You fancy your member has an idle time of it.
You favour him by your votes, you send him up to
Loudon as your representative, to live at his own ex-
pense. But then the honour! Certainly, there is
the high and mighty privilege of putting " M.P." on
his visiting cards. There is the pleasure of an im-
mense correspondence, which must be kept up day
after day. There is the satisfaction of being at home
during the forenoon to receive callers from your
borough. There is the extreme felicity of studying
blue-books, and consulting authorities against evening
and the speech which is essential to your interests.
There is the pastime of heading deputations and sit-
ting on committees, and there is the great delight of
sitting in the House until the small hours every
morning. Add to this that some members have
business, commerce, or law to attend to; some, as
public men, must appear at meetings of all sorts; and
that all are human and have homes and social ties,
and you see what an honourable sinecure is held by
the member for Old Sarum.
But our friend has received the card which we sent
to him by the hand of the old gentleman in the cosy
easy chair at the door, and here he comes. The
Strangers' Gallery is full, but our names have been
placed on the Speaker's list, and we may go to the
Speaker's gallery. Up a little narrow staircase we
climb, and pushing aside a heavy curtain we at last
stand in the House of Commons.
It is a nice apartment, and looks pleasantly in the
fading daylight. That gentleman sitting in the centre,
under the canopy, is Mr. Speaker. lie has a black
gown on his back, and a long-eared white wig on
his head. Above him are the Royal arms, and also
a green shade to save him from the glare when the gas
is lit. A pleasant-looking gentleman he is as
he sits there two steps above the floor, and a
mellow voice he has an be tries to rule the unruly
members. A step below him are three clerks
also bewigged and busy quill driving, while on the floor
there stands a huge table covered with books and sup-
porting at either side a brass-bound box, and at the
end the mace. Right down the centre of the House
runs a broad carpeted passage, on either side of
which are five rows of benches set upon a steep
slope. These are for the accommodation of honourable
members. At present the Tories occupy those on the
right of Mr. Speaker--the Whig's those on the left.
That narrow passage which divides them half way is
called the gangway, and this barrier of which we can
just catch a glimpse, is the Bar of the House. So
much for downstairs. In the gallery opposite to us
are the reporters for the press. Each is in a little box
by himself, working away as if for bare life and
behind every man at work is another reporter ready to
take up the speech where he leaves it off. Both quick
and shrewd they need to be, else we should never get our
admirable report of parliamentary proceedings in the
morning. Behind the reporters is a gilded grating,
and through it are visible the fair forms of the lady
visitors to the House. The English Statute Book
does not permit the presence of women in the Senate
Chamber, but the letter of the law is kept, and the
I spirit of it evaded, by placing them in this sense box
I with the grated side, a la Turk, or a is Jew. But
little of them is visible, and only the rustle of silks,
and the glitter of bright garments occasionally seen,
remind the honourable members that fair eyes are on
the watch, and fair friends interested in their proceed-
ings and their speeches. Along the sides of the I louse
extend the galleries for Peen; and Members of the
Diplomatic Corps, and this very comfortable place in
which we are ourselves ensconced, is the gallery of
Mr. Speaker. Behind us are the strangers, and a
crowd there is of them. This is the evening
appointed for the second reading of the General
Irrigation Bill, and most of these good folks beside us
are interested in it. Some have reasons for upholding
the new bill, and some are just as staunchly opposed
to it. to save their own monopoly of patent watering
pots and indiarubber hose-of all the ancient means of
Ightndsviclolusnetettnleantchees question, n , o here
tirrihegyaatreion. n
with a
But is this how the House of Commons does business?
Everybody is talking to everybody else and paying no
heed to the worthy gentleman on his legs, whose words
are almost drowned in the hum of conversation. At
present the formal part of the work is gut through
and nobody gives any attention to it. The House is
receiving bills, and if you listen very intently you will,
doubtless, appreciate the process. The new bantling,
which is intended to grow into a law, is generally
taken under the wing of some legal member -let us
may Mr. Sergeant Wordy. Mr. Speaker, standing up,
calls on Mr. Wordy by name, and that honourable
gentleman gets to his legs, takes off his hat and makes
response, "Bill, sir." Mr. Speaker says, " Plearie
ti
bring it up." Whereupon Mr. Wordy trots from his
p"lrriaand
Vhands
Transit a paper
Company'st
Company's
Btilhie n,-clet.hrk, w
at
hheio reangtht
title of the bill. Mr. Speaker then takes the paper
and says Aerial Transit Company's Bill that
this bill be now read a first time. As many M are of
tnis opinion may Aye. As many as are of the con-
trary say No. The ayes have it." The paper is
then handed back to the clerk, who one more repeats
the title, "The Aerial Transit Cou.pany's Bill," and
thi• bill is supposed to be read for a first time. Perhaps
Mr. Wordy has half a store of private bills under his
protection, and they are all ushered into parliamentary
life in the same unseemly way-one after the other as
fast as the requisite formula can be repeated. And
when his work is done, Mr. Wordy makes way for
Messrs. Glib and Cheek, who, perhaps, have as many
more. It was in this rude way that your famous local
Water Bill and your important new Police Act were
smuggled into life, and many another local measure
has suffered the same rough acsouchement. Only vital
measures attain to the honour of a debate on the feet
reading.
But everything comes to an end, and so does tf.'s
wearisome prices.. Mr. Speaker stands up and cells
out "Notices of Motions." The talk among . ti-
members slackens somewhat, and stillness reigns in I
the strangers' gallery. Now is the time to see and to
hear the Cabinet Ministers, and all strange eye ars
turned in the direction (if the ministerial b role
Almost every member of the cabinet, from the Isis'
Chancellor of the Exchequer down to the s i
Secretary for War, is brought to his feet to &newer
charges against his department, or to give informal i.
to inquieitive members. Mr. Speaker dips his
into tlae notice box and the lucky member, whom name
is called, stands up and states ine case, sometimes amid
derisive laughter, sometimes amid the cheers of the
Rouse. When he has finished, his opponent give.' Lim
the desired answer, and often is v iy saucy answer
it is-both making way for another duel between
another couple of gladiators.
This part of the business having been finished the
clerk proceeds to read the Orders of the Day. Now,
the House looks as if work were to be done. The Imam
of talk ceases, and honourable members settle them-
selves down to listen to the speeches sf the evening.
The waning daylight is elant out, the crimson velvet
curtains are drawn, and a mellow light streams down
through the ground glass roof. Noses are blown and
cozy attitudes assumed, and when the clerk calls out
"The General Irrigation Bill stands for a second

'Hie debate is at an end, and Mr. Speaker rises and
says, "The motion is that this bill be now read a second
time, to which an amendment has been moved to leave
out the word 'now,' in order to substitute the words
'six months.' The question is that the words proposed
to be left out stand part of the question. As many as
are of this opinion say.' Aye.' "- Here follows a shout
of "aye" from the Tories. --" As many is are t I the
contrary opinion say No,' "—and a bunit of "Noes"
breaks from the Opposition.—" I think the Ayea
have it," says Mr. Speaker, but a voice from the
Opposition benches assert*: "The Noes have it."
M hereupon Mr. Speaker, in • loud voice, and with an
earnest look at the gallery says, - " Strangers must
withdraw!"

Certainly this is not comfortable—being ordered out
in this way. One consolation is that nobody appears
disposed to odey the mandate. Folks who have never
been here before fidget' in their seats and •polish the
crowns of their hats, but finding that the old stagers'
coolly sit still, copy theicexample in fear and tremblibg, •
. expecting every moment to be forcibly ejected. The
truth is, Mr. Speaker is a great man in the nation, and
to disobey Mr. Speaker would be higl:etressone or
something worse. It is therefore supposed that when
his order has gone forth it has been obeyed, and it is
taken for granted that the strangers have witbilraeh,'
although they sit in fear and istonishment While the
sand glass is turned and the electric bells are rung in
the dining and reading-rooms. Members hurry in
while they may, for When the last grain of sand ha,
fallen in the glass the doors are shut. Mr. Speaker
then repeats the question, and adds, "the Ayes to the
right, the Noes to the left." Tellers to the right Mr.
So-and-So, and Mr. Suchqui-One. Tellers to the left,
Mr. What's-his-name and Mr. Nobody." In a few
seconds the House is emptied, and as the members re-
enter, their names and votes are taken. When
all are again seated the tellers compare notes
and march four abreast to the table, bowing most
humbly. One of their number then announces "The
Ayes to the right were 110; the Noes to the left 300."
Whereupon the Speaker repeats the words, once more
puts the questd in, and adds "The Noes have it."
The General Irrigation scheme has fallen to the
ground, and as you very well know, has failed to
become law. •

An honourable member now stands up and proposes
that "The Speaker now do leave the chatr." lie
wants to attract attention to some matter of national
importance, and as some motion must be before
the I louse he chooses this one, and has his say out.
When he ha a talked to his heart's content he will
withdraw his motion, and business will go on as before.
But the Speaker in the present instance is dull, and
his subject commonplace, the floor and the galleries
are alike thinning, and there are only a few trifling
bills to be brought forward when business is resumed.
Let us follow a good example and go home to bed.
We have seen how and where the laws are made.
Let us descend the narrow staircase and recto's;
the broad halls pant the refreshment bar which
a money.toaking nation has allowed to be erected
in her temple of law-making, pad the dozing old
apple woman at her staH, and out into the crisp
morning air where the lamps glimmer around and
cabmen and coachmen snooze upon their perches.
And here, having spent so many hours together, per-
mit me in the clear starlight to wish you and St.
Stephen's "good night," or rather, "good morning."
A. K