The Press.
London, England, 1855-08-18 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

the destruction of one of the gun-boats while on a sand-bank
neat Taganrog, and the flight of her crew from the fire of the Cossacks
on shore, as well as the capture of her colours and two of her light
guns. No doubt we cannot expect to escape without any casualties,
but it seems incredible that the officers and crew would so hastily
desert their vessel, without even taking her colours or attempting to
throw her guns overbeard in the manner that the Russian despatch
indicates. The last resource in similar cases is usually to blow up
the ship, which might have been easily done in this instance without
loss of life, but no attempt of the sort appears to have been made.
We anxiously await the particulars of this unhappy accident.

THE WHITEBAIT DINNER.
BY THE HEAD WAITER AT THE " TRAFALGAR."
Dr. If
,ay verses are dull, so is my subject. It is hard to draw a merry picture of dreariness.—

It was an August evening,

The Session work was done,
And Pain with all his Paladins

Resolved to have some fun,
Went down to Greenwich on a spree—
They were a goodly company.

Dukes, Marquises, and Earls were there,
And Baronets therewith,
And the Patrician Commoner
Whose noble name is Smith.
In fact, you very seldom see
Such an exclusive Ministry.

But Coronets won't stand for brain,

Nor Marquisates for wit,
And never did a duller crew
At dinner-table sit,
So Mr. Hart declares to me,
Thau Pam with all his Ministry.

The Premier's witless jests that day
Could scarcely raise a smile,
And some were welcomed with a frown

By the young Duke Argyll,
Whom Nature must have made a Whig,
He's such a solemn empty prig.

Old Lansdowne's twaddling anecdotes
Fell on most drowsy ears ;
Ann Molesworth yawned most audibly,

And so did all the Peers ;
And Vernon Smith, with silly smile,
Sat looking blandly all the while.

In sooth, it was a weary feast,
With little glee or sport:
Panmure but grew the heavier
The more he quaff'd of Port;
Nor even Wood's ecstatic glee
Could cheer this dreary Ministry.

I'm but a poor Head Waiter,
But I would rather dine
On tripe instead of venison,
On beer instead of wine,
Than be a Lord of high degree
To sit in such dull company.

The only consolation left
To Mr. Hart and me
Is that this party at our house
We never more shall see,
For, ere next Session's over, we
Shall have a better Ministry.

THE PREMIER'S CIRCULAR.

(EXCLUSIVE).
THE following circular has been addressed by the Premier to his
colleagues, in order to serve as a guide for their conduct during the

785

Lords who sit on appeals, and the former having severely rebuked his
learned colleague for giving publicity to charges whivh the Chancellor
asserts to be false.

These specimens of Cabinet dissensions are but two among many
which I could cite. You will agree with me that habitual occurrences
of this kind are not calculated to increase public faith in the unanimity
of our counsels.

We have now separated, and I would therefore urge upon you and
the other members of the Government to be particularly cautious in
your actions and language during the approaching autumn. As a
rule, pray refuse all invitations to festivities at which you will be
expected to deliver political addresses, and, so far as may be consi-
dered with the safety of seats, I would recommend those who are
unfortunate enough to have constituents, to avoid meeting them in
public.
But as there may be unavoidable occasions when some kind of
speech cannot be withheld, let me earnestly beg of you, at such times,
to combine the utmost heartiness and frankness of language with the
most absolute vagueness of pledge or promise, actual or implied.
Of course, you will take special care to remind your hearers that
the war is the one great question of the day, and that it is impossible to
give to other topics all the attention you could desire ; but do not make
too much use of this, for I learn that some people are rather disgusted at
finding the war pleaded as au excuse by officials who have nothing
whatever to do with the least portion of its management, and as
a reason why measures with which it can in no way interfere (as drain-
age, law reform, medical enactments, and the like), cannot be framed
and introduced. Work the war, therefore, judiciously,—[like charity,
it " covereth a multitude of sins," but will not cover every sin in the
world ]*

Yo-u
can state that every Member of the Cabinet is earnest in the
cause of progress, improvement, and enlightenment, and that no
efforts will be wanting on our parts to amend while we conserve our
ancient institutions, rendering them in conformity with the march of
intellect and the slit-it of the age.
Speak well of Church establishments and religion—[for, somehow,
the people have been getting hold of prejudices in favor of this sort of
thing]*; but intimate that the enabling the former to become more
extensively useful is an object well worthy the attention of a Christian
Government.

I need not limit you in regard to Law Reform. Promise almost
anything you like. The law advisers of the Crown will take due
note of all that is undertaken for—(indeed, you had better transmit
your speeches to Sir A, or Sir R.), and, when the proper time comes,
will show why nothing can be done in the way of performance. I
think that the ability they have displayed, during the session, in this
respect must have excited your admiration ; such excuses for non-
performance are really better than performance itself.
You can also promise Administrative Reform, of course avoiding
the least detail. The words have no moaning, so far as I have been
able to understand, and assuredly I have not sought to attach any to
them ; but the phrase has laid hold of the public, and it is not impos-
sible that our successors finny have to give it a significance. Bo it ours
to save them this trouble as long as possible.
I would inculcate upon you to be very grave in all your speeches.
The crisis is too solemn for jesting ; nor do the people willingly see
the interests of the country in the hands of those who treat important
matters with levity. I particularly urge this upon the Chancellor of
the Exchequer and upon the First Lord of the Admiralty.
[For Heaven's sake)* avoid all writing to the newspapers.
In any difficulty write to me for direction. Ido not put this
request upon the strength of my being the head of the Government,
but upon the fact that, as no two of us think alike (and Wood and
Smith never think at all), it is desirable that the Ministry should have
a fugleman.
[We've had the deuce's luck as well as our own to get on so well
hitherto ; but, by Jove ! we mustn't tempt fortune. If all goes
straight we shall tide over the holidays ; but I have a notion that we
shall then have the old 'un to pay, and the pitch infernally hot]*.
With the blessing of Providence upon our earnest endeavours to
do our duty, I trust that we shall conduct affairs at this difficult period
to conclusions worthy of ourselves and of the nation.

Believe me ever,
My dear --,
Yours, faithfully,
P-14M—RST—N.

To the Right Hon. -, &e.
• The passages between brackets are omitted in the copies sent to the religious
Members of the Cabinet

786

In Florence streets and Naples bowers
He'll send his genial edicts round,
Denouncing constituted powers
Who on his pleasant plans have frown'd;
Or crowns of living laurel weave
For those who prowl about at eve.

The weltering corse at break of day,
The bravo in the twilight glade,
The plot or dark conspiracy
Concocted in the greenwood shade,—
These simple joys that never fail
Shall bind me to my native vale.
But still more plaintive, more personally touching, is the version
of Cunningham's pastoral, " Content." This happy choice of a calm
and peaceful poem shows us how entirely the Noble Lord has given up
all ideas of ambition, and is content to abide in the obscurity he has
courted. _ _

A PASTORAL.
(sLio WILT ALTERED.)
With Turks and with Russians, rude, barren, and bare,
As in languages foreign I roam,
An Austrian Shepherdess sees my despair,
And leads me o'er lawns to her home.

Grand Crosses from Monarchs her cottage had crown'd,
Conventions were strew'd on the floor ;
Limitation, like woodbine, crept wantonly round,
While Counterpoise watched at the door.

With Plcnipos pleasant the sittings were past—
Great plans ! and I gave them my best ;
Though my French is not fluent, the glances they cast
Show'd my meaning was neatly exprest.

I told my soft wishes, she sweetly replied
(Ye Quakers ! her voice was divine !),
" I've Miff rejected and Aali denied,
Yet take me, fond Shepherd, I'm thine."

As I listened, I thought that her pleading was weak,
Yet the flow of her flattery had charms ;
As she proved Turkey safe and show'd Russia was meek,
Ultimatum I snatch'd to my arms.

Now jocund at Richmond I tend a few sheep ;
And if by the Thames' flowing stream
I think on my speeches and sink into sleep,
Her image still softens my dream.

No more I shall watch the dull, slow•passing bills,
Delighted with pastoral views ;
But I'll rest on a rook whence the streamlet distils,
And mark out new themes for my muse,

To political pomps I no longer aspire,
The damsel possesses my soul ;
The cottager Peace is well known for her sire,
And she's named by Diplomatists B-1.

MONSTER MEETING OF THE PEACE PARTY.
A MONSTER meeting of the Peace Party, convened by special circular,
was held in Carlton-gardens, on Wednesday evening last, to take into
consideration the steps which the destruction of S weaborg has ren-
dered it expedient should be taken by the fraternity. There were up-
wards of thirteen members of the association present, exclusive of the
female domestics belonging to Mr. Gladstone's establishment.
The conference was intended to be strictly secret, but its pro-
ceedings having been communicated, in a moment of credulous candour,
by Mr. Bright in confidence to Sir Benjamin Hall, we are enabled,
through the courtesy of the Right Hon. Baronet, to present our readers
with the leading features of the evening's discussion.
At eight o'clock precisely it was moved by Sir James Graham that
Lord Aberdeen do take the chair. This proposition was duly seconded
by Mr. Hamilton, lately a candidate for Southwark, in a speech of
considerable length, in the course of which he said that he stood
there, as the representative of the Empire, to denounce the tyranny of
the French despot and predict the triumph of the philanthropical
ruler of Russia, who, he was happy to say, was one of those who knew
how to distinguish between the free and hireling organs of intelligence.
A long and warm debate ensued.

Mr. BRIGHT said he was astounded at the course taken by Sir J.
Graham. He should have thought that the Right Hon. Baronet could
Lave seen that it was his colleague, Mr. Milner Gibson, who had the
best right to preside over their deliberations, considering that from
the outset he had been opposed to this inhuman war. His Right Hon.
friend was not like some people he could mention, if he did not object
to personalities, whose peace tendencies were only coincident with the
loss of their offices. He did not think, however glad he might be of
the co-operation of the Peelite party, that any one ought to take the
chair at such a meeting as that who had only declared peace to be
politic when place becaine impracticable. He should oppose the
motion, (Loud cheers from Mr, Milner Gibson.)