The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-03-01 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.
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Texas has long been noted for fast girls, but now it
claims one who is • faster, having subsisted for &spurs on
• teupoonful of milk per diem.
. .

"'Meet me at the gate love," has been changed to
"Meet me at the grate, love. The late weather has necessi-
tated the change
• •

Practical b-abee in America, when they are not able
to go to sleep, tell their nurses that they can't button up
their eyes.

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A defendant in a New York court produced a letter
from a waaherwoman testlfiing to hi. good character. This
witty stroke of at troop procured lila release.
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The defence of an Amerman gentleman who bad
deprived his neighbour of Ma turkey .rd roasted it WPAI, that
he found it on his fence, and seized it in payment for rent
of the fence.

Juet what we expec'e I. It turns out that it is the
female mosquito that makes all the imbue, does all the sting.
tog, and occasions the deplorable amount of profanity
wasted on these insects.
-

A leading lecturer clarifies his audi,nce as follows:
—"The "still ettenttvek" the .quidt-reeponaves," the
" herd•ta-Ilita" the " won'tappleads," sad the ggetrup•
andio-outa"

A7Trsesatllntic paper describes a "stylish" wed.
ding wherein the groom or Jean pants, brown linen duster,
yellow cotton gloves, glazed asp, and serried a green cotton
umbrella.

A well-known writer asks, "What is in a dress?'
The ides suggested to • non-professional solver of conun-
drums would be, sometimes curious works of art, and some-
times very pretw pieces of nature.
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- - -
A Mosquito taper it a Pittsburg invention. It
estates such a smell when burning that the mosquitoes ask
So be excused. It drives human beings outdoors am— which
Is its only defect.

A teacher at • national sehool recently asked a boy
which is the highest dignitary of the chutoh. After looking
up and down, north, east, south, and west, the boy inno-
cently replied, 'The weathercock."
A lady of Danielsonvllle, N. Y., has • very well-
trained animal in the pereon of a butterfly, which nestles la
her hand, alights non her shoulder or hair, at her bidding
or, by way of variety, hides in the knot of ribbon at her
throat when he hook like taking a nap.

A Yankee told n story afout IS lock of crows three
miles long, and so thick yon could net see the sun through
It. "Don't believe It," was the reply. "W&'.l," raid the
narrator, "you're • stranger, and I don't want to quarrel
with you, so, to please you, I'll take off a quarter of a male
In the thinnest part.'
-

•
A Chinaman was summoned as a witness in New
York, and, to amertaln hia Mews on the nature of an oath,
the judge asked Mm what would Po hla punishment if he
should swear to Pm I shall never return to China, but
always remain In New York," was the reply, and he was at
once sworn.
. . . . .

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A South Adams boy carried enterprise to the very
hut of earth the other day, by circulating advertising sheets
along a funeral prooeeeion of forty-seven sleighs. He stood
by the roadside, assiduously handing In his bill* and didn't
miss anybody in the ranks outside the hearse.