The Press.
London, England, 1855-07-14 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

JULY 14, 1855.

electors of Bath know about Mr. TITO How do they feel iu
hearing of his conduct in Parliament ? After the steed is stolen it is
no use to lock the stable-door; and after the wrong man has been
elected, electors have only to blame themselves in listening to the
organised puffing from mere agitation societies. Whatever becomes
of Administrative Reform, it is certain that no more " Titus " are
wanted. The new member's name will, however, last in Parliament.
The convenient bridge which his professional ingenuity erected for
running away from his principles has already been called " The Arch
of Titus."

As was to be expected at a crisis, the Irish members have parti-
cularly distinguished themselves in the current week. Who ever heard
of a Cabinet in difficulties, without a simultaneous deputation from
the Irish members? Lord PALMERSTON has received significant hints
from eighteen of these gentlemen, who called upon him, in the name
of "tenant right," to reconsider certain clauses in the Landlord and
Tenant Bill. Like the clauses in question, these Milesian senators
wish to be " considered." Twenty-one years since, thirty•six Irish
M.P.'s voted for " Repeal of the Union," and after the " Lichfield
house compact," with two exceptions, every one of the repealers
got " something nice " from Ministers. They jumped into place and
pay to the tune of " Justice to Ireland." They are at their burlesque
again, but the dog days are unseasonable for pantomimes ; and Mr.
Km= ought to be more active in icing the Irish " patriots " to a
more temperate heat. An Irish row in July ! The thought of it is
enough, without the reality.

THE PLENIPO'S PLEA.

065

It has been inferred and supposed, because I said that at the end of April and in the first
days of May I thought those propositions might hale been assented to, that 1 think that at the
present moment they might form a foundation for peace. Such a supposition would be totally
erroneous. There have been change. since.—Lon! Jobs Russet!, Thursday, July 12.
Suspend execution, for here's the solution
Of what you dislike in this conduct of mine.
You'll find that I'm true to my pet Constitution,
Whose limits so often you've heard me define.
Lord Somers would smile on the course that I've taken,
Lord Grenville look down with applause in his eye,
For my apothegm's worthy of Burke or of Bacon,
" What s proper in April is wrong in July."
To men of the world—not to blockheads in cloisters—
The fact is as clear as the largest round text.
For instance, in Apia we all swallow oysters,
But who'd eat an oyster in this month or next?
In April you walk in a paletot or Talma,
Or pocket siphonia, the cold to defy.
But 'twere far hotter work than they found at the Alma
To walk in great-coats in the month of July.
If you don't regard dates you'll be sure to make blunders,
The time between mine is forgotten, I fear.
The proverb informs you that Time Worketh Wonders,
And here he's been working the fourth of a year.
Why, just look at Molesworth, who'R sitting beside me,
Got up in nankeen (you may call him a Guy,
That's matter of taste), he'd be first to deride me
For wearing in April his dress of July.
No, " there have been changes," a thought that should soften
My bitterest foe as he looks in my face
There's a thing which some people call " changing too often,"
Which ends in excluding a man from his place.
We'll have no more changes, except of opinion,
Of bolting in future I mean to be shy;
My " Handbook of Statesmanship" (printed in minion)
Records loss of place in the mouth of July.
So, why should you drive me to bay in a corner,
And what's your display of hostility for?
You see I've not sat in the seat of the scorner,
But, truly converted, I clamour for war.
I swear I'm in earnest—l'll vote for more taxes,
More soldiers, more ships—not a thing I'll deny.
And this is my answer to each man who axes
Why, peaceful in April, I'm fierce in July.

THE IRISH SCREW.
Enter to Lord PALmsarrox, a Deputation of Irish
.Afealbers.

-
DaPErrATios : The top of the, morning to your Lordship.
Lord P.: Thank you, gentlemen. What procures me the distin-
guished honour and pleasure of seeing you to-day ?
FlasT MIMBER : This Tenant Compensation Bill, me Lord--

Lord P.: Confound the Tenant Ccirnpensation Bill!
SECOND MIMBER: Just so, me Lord, and so say all of us. But
there's wheels within wheels, and needs must when your Lordship
knows who drives.
Lord P.: Well, admitting that proposition, what's yours?
FIRST MIMBER : The bill has been cut into bits, me Lord.
Lord P.: The bill has been purged of its mischief and quackery,
and made as harmless as most bills.
SECOND MIMBER: We won't quarrel about terms.
THIRD MIMBER : At lasts not the terms which mane epitaphs.

Lord P.: Epithets, perhaps ? But you have other terms to,pro•
pose. Eh ?
FIRST MIMBER : We'll come to that presently. But suppose your
Lordship is so good as to let some of the mischief, as you think it, be
put back into the bill.
Lord P.: Certainly not. It would be against my conscience.
SECONDMIMBER: Is nobody to haves conscience except your,Lordship ?
Lord P.: Well, I don't know. If everybody kept his conscience In
order and let it give as little trouble as mine—but that's -neither hero
nor there. What is the reason for this change ?
THREE OR FOUR MIMBER 8 : Justice to the humble cultivator of the
soil; to the industrious pisant, who, by the sweat of his brow—
Lord P.: Bosh !—bosh !—this is not the House of Commons.
FIRST MIMBER (in a whisper) : Well, my Lord, it won't do. The
priests—
Lord P. (whistles): Eh? Ah ! Fact?
ALL : Fact, me Lord.
Lord P.: And you are under orders ?
ALL: No choice. The hustings, you know!
Lord P. (restynedly): True. And I suppose I need not ask how, if
I don't see my way to what you desire, and if Bulwer Lytton goes to a
division, Ireland will go ?
FOURTH MIMBER: It's our• sacred duty to be dangerous to you, me
Lord, all for your good.
Lord P.: Just so. Well, gentlemen,
ALL (ironically): Of course not.
Lord P.: But if on reconsidering the measure before to-morrow's
debate it should appear to me that the interests of the people of Ire-
land—God bless them!—demand a restoration of certain matters, be
assured that it o dogged obstinacy or prejudices about consistency will
prevent my doing my duty.
DEPUTATION : We expected such a declaration, and wish your
Lordship a very good morning.
Lord P. Good meriting, my dear friends. • (Exeunt Deputation )
Beasts I

" there is no compact," of eourse ?