The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1874-09-12 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS

A Yankee in Italy, after a severe tornado, which
the people seemed to consider a great thing, declared that it
was hardly up to the average of daily breezes in Maine, his
native state, where the people dare not raise children, ex-
cept in sheltered localities, on account of the strenuous cha-
racter of the zephyrs which pia?, over the hills.
••• • • •

- -
An Alabama parent didn't favour his daughter's
lover, and bet him five hundred dollars be wouldn't many
her. The parent lost."

A practical man has christened his daughter Glyce-
rine, lie says it will be easy to prefix Nitro it her temper
resembles her mother's.
- -

_
Doctor Reid was conversing with an old Kossu chief,
and asked how many wars he had fought in. No reply.
Reid saw he was offended, and withdrew. Some hours after
the old man came to him, leading a youth twenty years old
or so. "Sir." he said, "ask this boy how many wars he has
fought he will tell you But don't ask a grey-headed man,
because he doesn't know."

They have peculiar locusts in some parts of Wis-
consin, that perch upon the fences, anti encourage their
fellows in the work of destruction by singing the " songs
of their childhookL"

-------
An able discussion is going on between the Chicago
and Introit newspapers about the size of women's feet.
"Chicago." says one champion, "may talk about the homely
women of Detroit, but there is one redeeming power. When
one of them gets mired they don't have to dig up half the
street to get her foot out."
Barnum, it is said, proposed to open a monster
summer hotel in the clouds—that is, he will keep a huge
Captive balloon floating up aloft, with restaurants and sleep-
ing berths, and send up people and foul by pulleys.
At an hotel dinner in America an English arrival
obsetved a person who sat opposite use a toothpick which
had mat done the same service to his neighbour. Wishing
to apprise him of his mistake, he said, "I beg your pardon,
sir, but you are using that gentleman's toothpick." " I
know I am, sir," was the quiet response ; do you think that
lam not going to return it? You must have a very poor
opinion of the Americans"
A young lady put a piece of wedding-cake under ner
pillow, and went to bed with the happy belief that she would
dream of seeing her future husband. That evening, however,
she had eaten two plates of ice cream, some lobster salad,
about a pint of strawberries, several cakes, and two large
pickled walnuts, and she now says she would rather remain
single all her life than marry the man she saw in her
dream.

---
An advertisement reads as follows, but it cannot
mean what it says A wet nurse is required for a child
with good testimonials."
A pumpkin pie, ten feet in diameter and four feet
deep, was the chief feature of a Californian dinner recently.
The enjoyment of the guests was marred somewhat by a
child falling into the pie and dro_w_niug before. their eyes:

HINTS ABOUT BUYING A HORSE! An American
literary gentleman gives advice very gratis as follows on
buying a horse --- Let the colour he any colour. Ili. ears:
see that he has got tew years, and pound a tin clues to him.
to find out whether hie hearing is good. All bosses are
dumb, but a duff and dumb hose are not desirable. Look
well to his eyes; see that he has got a pupil in his eyes, end
not too large a one neither Feel on his neck with the in-
side of your right hand: see that the spinal collum is well
fatted and runs the whole length ov him from fore to aft.
Look on hiz hind legs for spavins, barbs, windgalls, ring-
bones, ikratches, snuittors, thrush, grease-heels, through- '
pins, spring-halt, quarter-kracks see if lie has got a whirl-
bone ; look for some pin-hips; hunt for strains in the hack
tendons, let downs, and capped hocks. Investigate his teeth,
see if he aint 14 yer old last May, with teeth filed, and six-
• year old black mark burnt into the top or them with a hot
iron. Good bosses are skarse, and good men that deal in
cony ov bosses are skaser. Ask a man all about biz wife, and
he may tell you; examine him clues for a Sunday School
teacher, and find Min all on the square ; send him tow New
I ork Legislature, and rejoice that money won't buy him;
lend him 7:0 dots. in the highway, without witness or note;
but wben yu buy a good family hose or him, young, sound,
and Mew, watch the man clues, and make up yore mind
besides that you will have tew ask the Lord few forgive
him. 'An holiest mall is the noblest w, rk uv God.' This
famous saying was written in grate anguish or heart by the
late Alezeader Pope, ped Itt•rieketag • good family how."