The Press.
London, England, 1855-02-17 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

FEBRUARY 17, 1855.

one of the grossest outrages upon public feeling that even the Coal
tion has yet attempted. The reprehensible system of sending the
Solicitor-General on circuit, as Judge of Assize, and which was aban
doned many years ago in obedience to an outcry from the Irish
Romanists, was about to be attempted in the person of such a
Solicitor-General as Mr. WILLIAM Krzooa! The patent, if we are to
believe the Chronicle, was actually engrossed, when somebody was
kind enough to mention the law of the case to the Irish Government
and their "learned" Solicitor-General. As the holder of a place at
the pleasure of the Crown must resign his seat in Parliament, and as
it is no trifling exploit to face on the hustings the priests of Athlone,
if their place-hunger has not been appeased, the Connaught bar have
been spared the honour of being presided over by Mr. KEOGH.

DISMAL RECOLLECTIONS OF A REFORM
CLUB BANQUET.

BY A (IF NOT THE) PRINCIPAL PERFORMER.
When we were all a drinking, a drinking, a drinking,
Our courage rose so rapidly we would not think of fear;
And in our tipsy brawls,
With noisy cheers and calls,
We laughed to scorn stone walls,
And bragged of our Napier;
And wildly wont on drinking, and drinking, and drinking,
And making many a ribald joke and many a wicked jeer.

We talked of " Charley" sinking, a sinking, a sinking,
The enemy's best battle-ships if they should dare appear.
All decency we waived,
We ranted and we raved,
And sadly misbehaved—
You know we did, Napier.
But now where's all your sinking, and sinking, and sinking ?
That you've sunk our reputations all I think is pretty clear.
The nation, sadly thinking, a thinking, a thinking,
Rebuked my tipsy ribaldry and Graham's factious sneer;
In vain I tried to chaff,
I could not raise a laugh—
I'll never go and quaff
With you again, Napier.
For indeed myself I'm thinking, a thinking, a thinking,
When I talked such vulgar trash I must have been a little queer.

And now you've been a shrinking, a shrinking, a shrinking
(I will not use a stronger word, or even hint of fear).
But it was a sorry sight
To see you shrink from fight,
With your fleet of giant might;
And people over here
Grew angry at your shrinking, a shrinking, a shrinking,
And pronounced Reform Club admirals the very smallest beer.

THE GREAT PLENIPOTENTIARY.
sm. "—A handsome apartment at the Errhersog Carl, Vienna.
PRESENT.—The Great Plenipotentiary and Mr. Hammond.

PLENIPO.: Time to be off, Mr. Hammond"
Mr. HAMMOND: About, my Lord. I see the carriage at the door.
PLENIPO.: By the way, I have no small coin. Do you happen to
have any sausages in your pocket that you can spare?
Mr. HAMMOND (bewildered—then recollecting): Zwanzigers—yes,
certainly.
PLENIPO.: I meant that, of course ; but the name always escapes
me. Thank you. Now, then, let us go. Stay, let me be quite sure
that I know my words. (Looks at a card.) Charmy de fair vote
connassance. Jespare ker vous vous porty mew Bien obleegy.ll
fay tray fwor. Slar var Wie-
I made all those out
What do you say to that
Mr. HAMMOND: Thi
made on leaving home—)
. takeable accents.
PLENIPO.: Ha! ha.
SCENE IL—Apartment
PszsEnx.—The Plenipotentiaries

PLENIPO. (very politely'
Messieurs et Milords

connassance. Mercy,
noble, set chambre, n'o

AUSTRIAN MINISTE
Lord Russell, that, in ,
Government you represe:
for yourself, we have cor
self—of conducting our
understanding that if
speaker who is misap]
that this arrangement
PLEN IPO. : Lingua _
Ad eam rem. I gratefull.
I say, you don't detect
cession? No ?—(aloud)
aliment.

161

AUSTRIAN MINISTER: We assume that the respective ratifications
of credentials have been duly exchanged. The secretaries charge
themselves with that responsibility.
PLENIPO.: Etiam. Ad rem. Pergamus.
AUSTRIAN MINISTER: It appears to me—l commit no other person
by what I am about to say—that the initiative, or substructure of all
negotiations should represent a basis not afterwards to be recon-
sidered except in the event of the solution of the relations originally
devised, and in the cultivation of which the congressional idea is
developed.
PLICNIPO. (aside to Mr. H.): He talks very like Gladstone. How
do you understand that proposition ? Non intelligo.
Mr. HAMMOND: That we should settle what it is we've come to
talk about.

PLENIPO.: Very right, too. Maxime et libenter.
FRENCH PLENTPO.: On the part of my own Government I am
willing to accept that proposition, reserving to myself, of course, the
power of modifying it by such qualifications as subsequenteventualities
may dictate or resulting emergencies demand.
PLENIPO. (to Mr. H. What does that mean ?
Mr. HAXMOND : Nothing.
_ _

RUSSIAN PLENIPO.: The Emperor, my master, who has ever dis-
played the most earnest desire to arrive at a good understanding with
the other Powers of Europe, will certainly not refuse assent to the
proposition of Austria, coupled, of course, with the qualification im-
posed by France, and, on his own part, with the understanding that
preliminaries are always open to be rescinded and rearranged.
PLENIPO.: Stop—l must speak. As to that statement, that the
Emperor of Russia has displayed—
Ma. HAMMOND (aside, earnestly): It means nothing. Don't go on.
RUSSIAN PLENIPO. (severely): Loqui ignorabit, qui tacere nescit.
PLENIPO. (smartly retorting): Audi (pea ad to pertinent.
AUSTRIAN MINISTER: Up to this point, then, we have proceeded
with a harmony which augurs well for our future discussions.
PLENIPO.: Future discussions ! Let us settle everything at once.
If we all understand one another there can be no difficulty, and if wo
don't its time we did. Eh, Hammond ?

AUSTRIAN MINISTER : Without challenging the accuracy of the
assertion on the part of England. I submit that my departure from the
ordinary formalities of negotiation would, at a crisis like the
present—
RUSSIAN PLENIPO: I would suggest the withdrawal of the word
crisis, as I am unprepared to admit that there is one in existence.
The relations of certain Powers are temporarily in an abnormal state,
which I will even admit to be—comparatively—undesirable.
AUSTRIAN MINISTER : At a period like this, then, I could say that
departure from the ordinary course might tend to originate strictures
which hereafter might take the more definite form of objections.

FRENCH PLENIPO.: On this point the balance of argument some-
what inclines me to attach more weight to the views of England than
to those of the other Powers, for although it cannot be denied that the
adherence to formalities is a sound guarantee for definite arrangements,
it is equally indisputable that there are occasions when a larger policy
prescribes the elimination of restrictions.
AUSTRIAN MINISTER: I admit this without hesitation or reserve
but the consequent inquiry is, whether this is one of the occasions in
question.
FRENCH PLENIPO.: That lam not instructed to assert. (They bow
and smile, and exchange snuff-boxes.)
AUSTRIAN MINSTER: Practically, therefore, the insular view is, for
the moment, isolated from that of the three continental Powers. We
are prepared, of course, to accept in the most friendly spirit any other
interpretation of that view which may approximate it to our own.
PLENIPO. (aside): Where have we got to, eh, Hammond.
Mr. HAMMOND: Nowhere. if I might suggest a remark on the
advantage of concord—it means nothing.
PLENIPO.: All right. Bona est concordia et prevalebit. And now
to recur to what I was saying.
RUSSIAN PLENIPO. (aside): Qu'il est elite* cet Lord.
PLENIPO. (rues for a speech): You may be aware, Messieurs, that
in the country I have the honour to represent---

connassance. Jespare ker vous vous porty mew. Bien obleegy. Il in the country I have the honour to represent---
fay tray fwor. Slar var sandear. Wee, je sweeze enchanty avec Wien. RUSSIAN Pump°. : Pardon me, my Lord, but you represent a
I made all those out for myself, Hammond, pronunciation and all. Sovereign. I could not commit myself, as the representative of my
What do you say to that? master, the Emperor, to sit down with any country.
Mr. HAMMOND: That your Lordship fully carries out the promise PLENIPo.: I will change the phrase, without reply to the objec-
made on leaving home—namely, that England should speak in unmis- tion. (Aside.) That was deuced diplomatic in me, eh, Mr. Hammond?
. takeable accents. Messieurs, in England, in the year 1215, the then Sovereign, King
PLENIPo.: Ha! ha! You're a wag. Come along. John, granted to the nation a document called Magna Charta.
SCENE IL—Apartment at the howls of the Austrian Foreign Minister. Since then—
PazsENT.—The Plenipotentiaries of the Continental Powers. Enter to them the English AUSTRIAN MINISTER : lam deeply grieved to interpose, but if any
Plenipo. and Mr. Hammond. argument is to be based upon the document in question, its produc-
PLENIPO. (very politely) : Bong swor. Commong vous porty vous, tion is essential to further proceeding. (Assent from the others.)
Messieurs et Milords ? Tray bein, jespare. Charmy de fair vote PLENIPO.: Hammond, you don't happen to have such a thing as
connassance. Mercy, Monsieur. Je ne you disturberai pas. Kill a Magna Charta about you, do you?
noble, set chambre, n'est il, mon cher Hammond ? Mr. HAMMOND: I fear not, my Lord. (Searches his pockets.)
AUSTRIAN MINISTER: I have the honour to acquaint you, my dear PLENIPo.: I know I haven't. I have got nothing but those
Lord Russell, that, in token of the esteem in which we all hold the sausages—swansfigures, I mean.
Government you represent, and as a special mark of personal regard RUSSIAN PLENIPO.: Permit me, in proof of the spirit in which I
for yourself, we have come to the determination—if agreeable to your- am ordered to attend these negotiations, to suggest a means for over-
self—of conducting our discussions in the English language, with the coming this obstacle. Might not a courier be at once despatched to
understanding that if at any time a misunderstanding arises the London for a verified copy of this document.
speaker who is misapprehended shall employ Latin. May we hope
that this arrangement will meet with your Lordship's approval? PLENIPo.: But that will 'take a week. Minima. I withdraw my
PLENIPo.: Lingua Latina videtur sane valde propria et commoda reference to the Charter.
Ad cam rem. I gratefully accept the compliment and—(aside to Mr. H.) AUSTRIAN MINISTER:
I say, you don't detect any trap in this, do you? It involves no con- FRENCH PLENIPo.: JL We protest !
cession? No?—(aloud). As I said, I gratefully accept the cow- RUSSIAN PLENIPO.:
aliment. AusTRIAN MINISTER: Once introduced into the discussion, it would
i

be informal and irregular were the subject not eihausted by the most
complete investigation. Hereafter, my Lord, your own clear sense
will see, the Governments we represent might be held to have
knowledge of that instrument. This incident closes the Conference;
until we are apprised by my Lord that he is prepared with this
Charter.
[Exeunt, with such politeness, the French and Russian representatives. The
Austrian Minister attends the Plenipo. (who is slightly stup(fied) to his
carriage, which departs.l
PLENIPO. (after a long pause.): Hammond ! I seem to have rather
been and done it.

Mr. HAbiIIOND: If your Lordship will introduce Magna Charta on
all occasions— •
PLENIPO. : Well, it can't be helped. Write for it, and tell the
coachman to drive to the Hedgehog—where we're stoppieg, I mean.
(Exeunt.)

THE

NEW REVOLUTION.
Ran ! ran! ran! U tan !
Vive le rouge et 3 bas le blanc.
P aria Chatalt.
We are on the eve of a new Revolution.
Morning Chronicle.
Come ! Muggins and Crooks, and Gubbins and Snooks,
Come Brown, Jones, and Robinson, lend us a hand;
No Percy or Stanley is found half so manly
As up to the standard the tap-rooms demand.

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THE LETTER of our valued correspondent from Brussels was
safely received.

It is impossible to acknowledge the mass of letters we receive
Their insertion is often delayed, uwiug to a press of matter,
and when omitted, it is frequently from reasons quite inde-
pendent of the merits of the commtutioation.
We cannot undertake to return communications of which we do
not avail ourselves.
Communications should always be legibly written, and on one
side of the paper only. If long it increases the difficulty of
finding space for them.
Whatever is intended for insertion must he authenticated by the
name end address of the writer, not necessarily for publica-
tion, but as a guarantee of his good faith.
Advertisements sent from the country mast be accompanied by a
remittance or a reference for payment in town.

SATURDAY,

See Goderich unite in our plebeian fight—
(Should the "Robinsons' sever from " Joneses" and "Browns?")
Hear how he attests that "prosperity' rests
On the sinking of nobles and raising of clowns.
His wisdom knows well, as they've told us of Tell,'
What "powers in the arm of a peasant may sleep ;"
And whoe'er may deride, by his caste he'll abide,
And old blood from the army sans mercy will sweep.
Then support him and win in this " jolly go in"
(So the taste of " the people" such matters express),
As our fathers erewhile, writes Mr. Carlyle,
Put the peers and the King in so awful a mess.
Why should democrats toil, as the rank and the file ?
Be curtailed in their hours and deprived of their drink?
We'll have hodmen parade, each before his brigade,
And bold navvies the spade for the bacon shall sink.
ield-marshals we'll find each his counter behind,
Who, like old Cincinnatus, will hie to the field;
And each shopman and clerk in the war shall embark,
And the cabbies a crop of field-officers yield.
To manage the cares of the head of affairs
For glib vestry aspirants we need not look far ;
And perhaps we might own that " the Marylebone"
Quite as wisely as Herbert had managed the war.

on his departure, was very unwilling to see the
Russian property occupied by the allies. It is said
that he gave up the keys of the Consulate, under
protest some time since, and was equally formal in
his objections to the occupation of the Embassy.

Under the name of the " Snow Dissolver," an in-
genious contrivance has been invented by a Mr.
West, with the view of more speedily clearing the
metropolitan streets from the accumulation of ice
and snow with which they have lately been so much
obstructed. The instrument consists of a large cart,
traversed by a horizontal and cylindrical furnace, in
which a coke fire is maintained. Snow shovelled
into this cart will be rapidly melted, and can be let
out by a properly arranged valve into the next gulley-
hole. The idea is novel and the invention of simple
construction, and certainly well timed.

The General Screw Steam Shipping Company's
fine steamer Mauritius, but just returned from the
Crimea with sick and wounded, was almost entirely
consumed by fire yesterday morning in the dry dock
at Southampton. The fire was discovered at about
five o'clock, and by seven all chance of saving the
ship was over. The magazines, containing about a
quarter of a ton of powder, exploded at ten o'clock,
sending up fragments of the burning wreck a great
distance into the air. Fortunately no damage has
been done of any consequence either to the dock or
to the ships surrounding. The Mauritius was fully
insured.

MAJOR-GENERAL JAMES SIMPSON, the present De-
puty Adjutant-General, is selected to proceed to the
Crimea to take the command of one of the divisions
of the British army. General Simpson was recently
named as Governor of Portsmouth, and is a Waterloo
officer. Ho leaves England for the seat of war the
week after next.

THE continued frost of the week has given oppor-
tunity for constant gatherings of skaters on the
ornamental waters of the metropolis, where scenes of
much interest and some riot are occasionally exhi-
bited. The ice is now safe nearly everywhere, but
some serious cuts and broken limbs have been sus-
tained by persons who have fallen or been knocked
down. On the river much interruption to transit and
commerce has been caused by masses of frozen blocks.
Above Kingston the surface of the Thames is com-
pletely frozen over, and all passage by craft impossible;
Above Greenwich the river is much covered with ice,
and navikation stopped. In many parts of the river
below briage the ice has set in so firm between the
shore and the vessels moored near mid stream, that
the crews walk to and from their vessels. All the
labourers along shore are thrown out of employment,
and great distress prevails. Southampton Water was
on Thursday almost covered with floating ice. The
boats in the stream had to be guarded from the ice
by hurdles placed at the bows. In Southampton
docks scores of mullet were caught with the hand
and in hand nets. They floated about by hundreds
on the surface alive, but perfectly helpless, being
benumbed by the intense cold.
GREAT FIRE.—A destructive fire broke out last
night, between ten and eleven o'clock, in the steam
saw-mills of Messrs. Routledge and Co., 4i Holland✓
street, Blackfriars-road. A great quantity of timber
in stacks was kept on the premises, and, as the wind
was high, the flames spread rapidly till all the stacks
formed one magnificent conflagration, which illu-
minated to a considerable extent the whole tnetrc-
polls. The fire continued to rage fiercely till after
[ four o'clock.