The Press.
London, England, 1853-11-26 00:00:00

NOVEMBER 26, 1853.

The PACHA : I fear that English customs are opposed to capital
punishment in such eases, Highness.
The SCLTAN : Redschid. you are a shocking old pump, and do not
profit by your intercourse with your friends the attoehes to the Ent-
hussy. 1 have used a common English term for dismissal.
The l'AettA (*ldyl: I wish I dared ask your Highness where you
flet your slang. It would be indiscreet to inquire whether, in the
ower-pots of the Imperial sentil, there blooms any rose which onco
blossomed in the gardens of the West,.
The SmrAx (demure/0 : It would, and don't you do it. But write
the letter to the English Queen ; and instantly order twelve of our
best men-of-war to England. Let six anchor at the mouth of their
foul river, to defend it—let otto of roses be served out to protect the
men from the ill odour—and let the either six cruise on her eastern
coast ; and let the order be, that the first Russian vessel any of theta
see is to be immediately blown to Sheitatt. We have said it. We will
protect our ally. As for the Asiatic England. we shall have destroyed
Woronzow in another week,andthearmy shall get on eastward, and chas-
tiseeverybody right and left. Get the palace astrologer to make k tt
the fortunate hour, and. Inshallath, we'll let these Russians know what's
o'clock. We will protect the integrity of poor England. Let us drink
to her salvation from her present disgrace and danger. (They (Mak.)

SKETCHES OF RADICALS.
7. THE RADICAL LECTURER.
PASSING the other day by the stately portals of the Psycho-
Gymnasium, I saw that a Radical of this order was about to deliver
some lectures. The prognimme was so characteristic of the individual
that I transcribed and now publish it :
Mosimv.—The Eleusinian Mysteries.
TeEtWAY.—The YOliall Harp.
.WEDNEKDAY.—The Potato Disease.
THCRNDAY.—ItaIy in the Middle Ages.
Fainmr.—The People, during the Wars of the Roses.
SATURDAY.—The Megatherium; With a Digression on the Belles
Lettres.

SUNDAY.-PAUL.

(The subject of Sunday's leetnre, you will ol'wn•e, has liven docked by our friend of
the appendage " St.," in conformity with the taste of an enlightened age.)
Where did the Professor acquire all this learning? Who knows?
Switt tells us of a man of his dad•

Renowned by nit for writing we• 11,
Although be ne•Ver knnu•dl to spell.

I suppose that every age produces such geniuses. Certain it is
that the Professor of whom I am speaking was unknown, except 104 a
tailor's apprentice, till he was prosecuted for blasphemy. I can only
suppose, then, that he has loftier intellect than others of the age who
labour from early youth (after beginning with every advantage) at
books, and yet never pretend to such extent and variety of erudition.
The fact is, the Professor is odorous of cheap cyclopashas, and
reeking with second-hand iniseellaneous information. If he wanted
to " lecture" on Cicero he would turn up the familiar pages mechani-
cally. Cat—Cataphism—Catapult—Cigar—Vicero (M. tnllius)—and
at once go to work. The bee makes its honey for itself front the
flowers ; the cockroach helps itself to sugar ready made, which gives
it an immense advantage over the bee ! The Professor (whom I shall
designate " Cockroach," with your permission, from the resemblance)
loves this policy. He patronises " Latin without a Master"—by dint
of which he makes himself " a Master without Latin "! I say a
Master, because he always assumes to belong to the great educational
staff of the world, and is invariably denouncing the standard and
hereditary notions about literature current in society.
Now, I should find no fault with the Radical Lecturer, I should
he glad in fact that he did lecture, and get listened to, if he would
not make the employment a vehicle for aiding the " general over-
throw." I could wish, too, that he was less " cocky " and sell
laudatory. But my complaint is, that of the swarms of lecturers
throughout the land (who lecture with any " purpose " at all)-1 mean
the regular staff of the institutions—the upshot of the discourse is,
that we live in an enlightened age—tileas% hear)—and that general
progress of :society—(/4ar, lu'ar)—that. in Mil, it is the business of
every young fellow of an intelligent turn to be disgusted with English
institutions, and to help Cockroach to bring about a Future (with the
largest of Fs) which is to put all to rights. In truth, I complain
altogether of the system, of the very foundations of the education
which these lecturers with congenial " institutions " and congenial
newspapers propose to give the people.
Suppose we were to begin now, by being just a little illation', of
the overwhelming excellence of the century ? It is nothing inure than
proposing what is as old as the hills dike everything that is worth
much in this world), a little more modesty in the presence of history
and nature. But then, to do this, we must not tell our pupils that a
man who now attends Professor Telescope on astronomy knows more
of astronomy than Kepler did. Everybody must be familiar with this
sort of vaunt. It is applied to every pursuit. Following the same
idea, you might say that Cockroach, after reading an exposition of the
researches of Niehbuhr, knows more of antiquity than Casaubon and
Sealiger did. In one sense there is some meaning in the proposition.
But, because I go to Birmingham in the railway so much faster, it does
not prove that my strength is greater than that of my ancestor... The
value of knowledge is chiefly in the discipline by which it is
attained. Gymnastics are useful, not that at the end of the course you
may be able to play football better, but for the sake of the good that
is done to your system by the training. But, according to the modern
practice, the moral effect of education is lost. After the lectures of

Cockroach and his crew. the scholar. ennumed with generalisations
and results. minims personally as weak as ever. It is like feeding a
donkey with nutearoons : he munches the very upshot of the baking
of centuries, and very niee he thinks them, I dare say but a good
gallop and a bundle of thistles would be better for his carcase. The
same evil
.pursttes the system through every ',art of it. You teach
" reading and " and the pupil reads Sproggs, and copies out
a tine passage about the " licentious Monarch." Here is a charming
prospect for the well-intentioned Radical. who only wants a cheap ne ws-
impel. in order to work wonders! Sproggs has got the readers before
him. 'they are educated can read and w and. Mesa you !
are oft to Sproggs! Some day the respectable Radical will find that
he has lawn playing into the hands of a worse foe than the " aristocrat."
And why are we in this plight ?Clillhe the whole set of modern
agitation has been against all authority, all government.—against
government—the institution generally. Every main breaks loose [Punt
his neighbour. the dock front his parson, and so forth. To help their
own ends the Itaa,licals have done their best to break up the obi nays
everywhere. in education the result of this becomes most strikingly
apparent ; for the well-intentioned Radical. rather than spare the
Church and the Aristocracy, has handed over the masses to Ibldiralig
of an inferior grade, who are as opposed to hist as he is to laws and
church. This movement has been in progress ever since the Liberals,
in the heyday of the education cry, managed to make education
identical with anti-Church and State polities, which they did. So that
Professor Cockroach and his friends coolly assume that revolutionary
ideas and " enlightenment" are synonymous. To be of "enlarged
views" is to despise traditions altogether.
The Professor is given to eccentricity of eostume. His youthful
hearers esteem him no "common man." Ile pauses and gazes (lino
' the infinite, it is supposed) with a meditative air before commencing.
sometimes he parts his hair in the middle. His collar is peculiar. Ile
is intolerant of intemiption. Ile loves to startle with short sentences,
pregnant with surprising matter. The youth come away bloated with
self-conceit, and intolerant of existing institut• s. They shake their
heads, and talk of " culture."

Nothing is •V noticeable than the variety which Radicalism
has preyed susceptible of during the last twenty years. The old-
fashioned British Radical is nit alone in his glibly
Mystie, the Radical Divine, the Radical Lecturer, are all varieties of
the tribe, in presence of whom the sturdy and wooden old utilitarian
feels flustered and oft* his equilibrium. I her Professor is one aft nice
the most active mid influential of all. And while education is eon.
sidered something only intellectual (and is only that, as far as theme
professors eon make it soh while it is based on no 11101'111 Watling.
governed by no superior principles, gllll seellls to I'V.frirt. authmity on
system, why, the Professor is likely to be a man of some infinenee. In
the meanwhile we eon laugh at him 'Personally, and at the ignorance
which after all eliaractoises his school. Nte can likewise see still
more clearly than ever the paltry results of self-government carried to
excess ; inia that " every man for himself, and God for us a 11,,, leads
very directly to Clod being for none of us.

CHIMNEY ARISTOCRACY.
Of Cottonville 11181111C114 and Cottonville folks
A great deal is heard in the Cottonville press ;
But their much-vaunted " progress " all turns out a hoax,
If we look at their manners, and rood of them less.
They boast that they hold all men equal in rank ;
That never they bend to the lofty in station ;
They only believe " Divine right " in the Bank,
And make faet'ry ehinineys the gauge of the nation
If you go to a Cottonville dinner you'll meet
The Cottonville " nob" looking round him quite grimly,
And you'll find his importance is measured by feet,
And those feet are the height of his Nebo.), chimley."
If two Cottonville millowneth meet in the street,
And one " cuts " the other with WTOI quite haughty,
Why, the one is a gnindee of two hundred feet ;
The other a poor little factor of forty !
If Lady Millowner gives cards for a fete,
No Nlayliiir assembly will be more " select;'
What eiu•e that no visitors be eceond•rate!
She'll pick the tall chimneys—the low fines rejert.
She'll walk round the rooms, with the " lion," to show

The largest of chimneys, who'll bow very primly ;
And happy she'll be that her party will know
She can get at her Pies so important a " chiniley "!
Ifur slaughter may meet, and may dance sit a bid!,
With a dashing youngbankrupt, who's just " passed the court;"
The vigilant mother will soon to her call,
" Marlow! you ought to know better—you ought'"
" got hia certificate, Mar," she'll reply:
" I think a first-class, Mar."—" I Mont care for that ;
The two largest chimleys are ready to die
For a waltz or a polka, girl ! What are you at?
You leave them to dance with a twin whose estate
lists only just ►paid one and six in the pound !"
" Your and six, Mar, it paid."—" Hull your tongue ; too
latc—
The two largest ehimleys fresh partners have found r
Still the boast is they hold all mess equal in rank;
That never they bend to the lofty its station ;
They only believe "Divine right " m the Bank,
Anti wake fact'ry chimers the gauge of the nation !

710

The abolition qJ the Duty on delrertietineiste enables au to
bowl al the price al Three Shillings the Adrertisentents
jar which re hare hitherto charger! tire; and Adrer•
users generally trill reeeire the full ben•JII of the change
in the

TO CORUSPONDZIIII.
It le bapsasible to acknowledge the mass of letters we reeelve.
Their lassetion Is often &lay's', owing to a press of matter ;
SW alma omitted, It is frequently front re 11441111 1111114 illde•
pedalo of the merits of the .
We sows undertake to Mora
ail avail ourselves.
Clewmunications should always be letibly mitten, and on one
Oh attire paper only. If lung It creases the difficulty of
Wang apace for theta.
Whatever Is intended for insertion must b • authenticated by the
setae and 014rees of the writer, not neres isrlly for imbllca-
fen, but as • guarantee of his good faith.

of which we do