The Press.
London, England, 1855-08-04 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

AuG. 4, 1855.

Europe totius risui immo omnibus terrarum regionibus, magis atque magis nos irri-
dendos prieberemus ? Et quod de college meo,—cujus vita politica, velut extincta
lampas, defuncta est—dicit—nEe ego collegam meum minime pro victima, vel, ut aiunt,
hirco in desertum iMMiL3BO, habere soleo. Nos ad loca retinenda semper parati erimus,
egomet ipse vero jocos semper effundere, de omnibus semper omnia dicers, omnia sus
deque vertere, omnia miscere, pergam ; atque, si Banmettus iste, qui tam breviter tam
i
longam tamen oratianem de quiestione n nos exercenda elocutus est, aliquid adhuc
ef-
fundere velit—iterum ei relinquu, utrum se sponte mendacia effutire, vel nihil omnino
11.) scire confiteatur

Tunc vero magnus obortus est clamor ; alii ridere, alii plaudere,
alii valedicere, atque de somno captando cogitare. Egregius autem
iste scurra, a jocis in iram effusus, opprobriis pro more quemcunque
oppetere, ita ut omnes veriti fortasse, ne concio a Cointedia in Tra-
gediam desineret, rem de •inai►ibus deposuerunt ; atque ita qutestionem
de re tanta in aliud tempus, ut solet, referendam decreverunt.

Hine adeo evenit, tit ii, qui per totam Sessionem nihil etfecerant,
idem alio temporc efficere potuerint. Interim vero ad ayes ferasque
vel rete vel bombardis expugnandum, ad pisces hamo captandum, vel
ad petunias, quas pro meritis suits tam egregiis, congesserant, disai-
pandum, decedunt.

LIVIUS LONDINENSIS.

LORD LILLIPUT'S EMBASSIE AND ITS
CONSEQUEN CES.

Lord Lilliput's a little Lord,
A little Lord of high degree,
He shipped himself all aboard of a ship
To go upon an Embassie.

This Embassie was to Vienna,
Along with stout Drouyn de Lhuys,
To make a peace and heal our feud
With the false loons of Muscuvie.

This little Lord was full of valour,
And a gay Canon said that he
Would storm a town or sail a fleet,
Or lecture on Anatomic.

But 'neath his thumb the wily Buol
Soon got this Noble Lord so wee ;
While Baron Titoff wound about
His colleague, stout Drouyn de Lhuys.

" Come hither now, my little Lord,"
Quoth this Plenipotentiarie;
" Say, shall we take the terms they give,
Speak, little Lord, dost thou agree ? "

Then up and spake that tiny Lord,
" Thy counsel seemeth good to me;
And so I'll telegraph to London,"
" And I to Paris," quoth De Lhuys.

Sir Drouyn's master answer'd grimly,
" I love thee well, thou'rt frank and free ;
But such a Peace mislikes me sadly,
In sooth, 'twill never do for me."

Lord Lilliput he rode to London,
And said unto the Ministrie,
" What say you to the terms they offer,
Say, shall we sign with Museovie?"

" Not so, not so, my Lord so little,"
Our Premier answered merrilie ;
" For Peace or War I care not much,
But Place is very dear to me.

" The Commons, in St. Stephen's Palace,
The Peers, and eke the whole Countrie,
Would scout with honest indignation
The shameful terms thou bringest me."

Bedford's small scion spake not loud,
But in his heart said spitefullie,
" Methinks I've skill enough to oust
This Lord with his buffoonerie."

Then to the House in hottest haste
Lord Lilliput did straightway flee,
And shew'd what varying Counsels ruled
The fortunes of the Monarchie.

With scorn and wrath did Cobden stout
Assail the wretched Ministrie ;
And bright and keen as truest steel
Flashed thy fierce wit, Disraeli.

" This cunning trick that I have played
(Quoth John) doth hugely tickle me ;
Ha, Palmerston, my merry wag,
How lovest thou this Pleasantric ?

Meanwhile the Nation murmurs loud,
Like thunder rolling angrilie,
At tricksters small and jesters hoar
Misgoverning this fair Countree.

737

For sorry jokes and paltry wiles
In sooth 'tis very sad to see
Among the rulers of the land
In this our dire emergencie.

PALMERSTON AS A MISSIONARY.

THE following is the conclusion of the report of Lord Palmerston's
speech at the dinner given by the East India Company to the new
Governor General on Wednesday :

The noble lord remarked upon the curious fact that, whereas of old all civilisation
came from India, through Egypt, now we, who were barbarians, were bringing back
civilisation and enlightenment to the parent source. Perhaps it might be our fate to
confer on the countless millions of India a higher and holier gift than any mere human
knowledge, but that must be left to the hands of time and the gradual improrentent of the
people.

In consequence of this report, the Lord Privy Seal, the War Minister,
and the Home Secretary, as the three members of the present Admi-
nistration who profess some regard for religion, arc understood to have
waited upon the Premier, and remonstrated against such statements
being given to the public as the views of the Cabinet on missionary
enterprise. A conversation to the following effect is believed to have
taken place :

The DUKE : But do I understand that this was really what your
Lordship said?

The PREMIER : I can't answer for your understanding ; but you
were present, and so were you two others, and you know what I said.
The DUKE : Don't let us joke about it, please. It is certain that
you could not have meant to say that, and I think a corrected report
ought to be published.
The PREMIER : Bother corrections ; they never do any good. But
let's see what it is that has shocked you so mightily. (Reads.) Well,
what's the matter with it ? Didn't civilisation come from India through
Egypt, like the Overland Mail?
Lord P.: That's not the most objectionable part, though I do not
suppose you know the religious argument by which only such a state-
ment could be defended. Real civilisation means Christianity, and in
one sense that came out of Egypt, but—
The PREMIER: Thank you, I have heard of that. But, as that
defence does not include India, I won't trouble you for it. I used
civilisation in the—a—a--a—ordinary sense, reading and writing,
fine arts, and all that. The context shows it, as Igo on to speak of
the other business.
Lord P.: The other business ! But let us goon. " The higher and
holier gift," I may asshume, means the knowledge of Christianity ?
The PREMIER : What do you Scotch say " asshurne " for? Can't
you spell? You might as well say asshirt—by way of a change.
Sir G. G. (impatiently) : We must ask your Lordship to refrain
from levity for a few moments You are reported to have gone on to
say that the spread of Christianity in India must be left to the hands
of time and to the gradual improvement of the people. In other
words, that if we leave them alone, long enough, they will prove so en-
lightened as to embrace the true religion.
The PREMIER : Very well ; I dare say they will. Of course it won't
be in our time, unless, to be sure, the masterly way in which our
officers torture them to make them fork out convinces them of the
superiority of our system.
Lord P.: But do you seriously believe that a nation will ever im-
prove itself int.> Christianity?
The PREMIER: How should I know ! This is a wonderful age—
steam, gas, electric telegraph, onward progress, march of intellect,
knowledge is power, and all that. Nothing would astonish me.
The DUKE : We do not hope to make any impression upon you,
my dear Palmerston; but for the .sake of the credit of the Cabinet,
which your theological eccentricities have a good deal damaged—
The PREMIER: Come, I like that. lam as good as any of you. da
The DUKE: We are none of us good—
The PREMIER: Yes we are, I tell you. I am. Now, then.
Didn't I go to church on the Humiliation Day, and behave like a
bishop?
The DUKE : Well—you see, there are people who think seriously
on these matters, and who have been shocked and scandalised at
some of your displays. Now, this would be a good opportunity for you
to show that you have a sense of what is fitting in connection with
such a subject. Have an authorised report inserted in the Times,
and modify this objectionable matter into something like conformity
with received belief.
The PREMIER: But, confound it, I dare say I did say what's
printed there—the reporters are deuced sharpwitted. Now, not to
remark upon the propriety of my telling a falsehood for the benefit
of your religious character, suppose the reporter should hand in his
shorthand notes, and they contain what you object to ? I tell you
what, you are three deuced good fellows, and remarkably clever in
linr but s• have found a mare's nest. Who the d—ickens


" I fall, but closely hug this hope, your lines, but you have found a mare's nest. wuo the
Which is extremely sweet to me, cares about such a matter.
That soon you'll tumbleDiplomcl
quite a
*And all through* a.sileo."
11.
T
my Sir G. G.: Thousands on thousands, I am happy to say.
--nacosin
The PREMIER: I wonder where they live when they're. at home.
I never see any of them. But, bless your souls, I'll do anything to

738

oblige. We'll have a correction put in—what shall Ibe said to have
said ? Perhaps it might be our fate—
Lord P : Don't say " fate "—there are no fates.
The PREMIER : Yes there are, fetes champitres, and deuced pleasant
they are if the women are pretty and the grass isn't damp.
But we'll say what you like. "It might be our luck "—no, that's
familiar; " our destiny "—that's a good word, eh?
Sir G. G.: Rather heathenish. What prevents your saying that
we might be permitted by Providence ?

The PREMIER: Because that's John Russell's way of perorating.
I'm not going to imitate Johnny. I'll say we " may be permitted "
that's enough. Well, down to " human knowledge is all orthodox,
I suppose? But it's not to be done in time, that's the grievance.
When is it to be done? After time's too late.

The DUKE : " Left to the hands of time " is most objectionable.
The PREMIER : Well, I don't stand upon his hands—say his
scythe, or his forelock, if you like—or, stop—his hour-glass, that'll be
an impressive image.

SATURDAY,

- • -
The DUKE : It is sad to see how little you understand the real
objection to your Gallio-like phraseology. Don't you know that
Christian society has missionary duties to perform ?
The PREMIER : Yes, the Church Missionary Society. I know all
about it. Ah! I see. They send missionaries to India ; and you
wanted me to give them a puff. Why didn't you mention it sooner?
I dont see how to hitch it in now.

The DUKE (in despair): It's of no use. I wish you would let one
of us shape the corrections, and send it to the papers for you.
The PREMIER : I'm agreeable; but mind what you are about—
don't come it too strong, you known, or people will not believe in it.
When I see what you've written I shall, perhaps, understand which of
the Thirty-nine Articles I've been violating this time ; at present, I'm
in nubibus.

The correction, however, has not appeared ; and it may be
surmised that the three colleagues 'of the Premier despaired of con-
verting his heterodoxy into anything which should be at once correct
and sufficiently like the style of that eminent religionist to be accepted
as his utterances.

good chances of peace, he proceeded to argue in
favour of the last proposals, which, he said, it was un-
fair to characterise as Austrian, and which, sup-
ported by all the plenipotentiaries, themselves Minir:,
ters of high rank in their respective countries, was
entitled to better consideration than that they had
received. No treaty would be efficient which
would not command the approval of Europe, without
the firm union of which no real check could be
imposed upon Russia; and yet the European combi-
nation was broken for a stipulation of secondary
importance. He feared that the result would be a wider
breach with Austria, of which the consequences—espe-

cially in the occupation of the principalities—no one
could foresee. He asserted that in France itself the
enthusiasm for the war, if it existed, would ere long
be cooled for financial reasons, while there was no
reason to count upon the exhaustion or dishearten-
ing of Russia, many instances of the spirit of whose
population he quoted. He concluded by vindicating
his present peace opinions, after having sanctioned
the war, and pointed out the danger of continuing a
gigantic contest for small differences, whereby we
were exposed to have new and perilous objects forced
upon us.

Mr. LAYARD said that it was likely enough that
great contractors and men of business would be dis-
satisfied with a war which interfered with their gains.
He proceeded to object to the manner in which the
two first points were settled at Vienna, complained
of our treatment of the principalitie,,, and said that, 1 y
consenting to the interference of all the powers with
the Greek population of Turkey, Russia in, reality
made no concession.
Mr. COBDEN called Sir William Molesworth to
account for his speech on the hustings at South-
wark, whom he taxed with gross dereliction of his
former principles and professions.
Sir W. MOLESWORTH would not retract the senti-
ments he had uttered, and which the conduct of the
peace party in uniting with others to surprise the
Government at such a juncture fairly deserved.
Sir J. GRAHAM entered into some explanation to
disprove the assertion that there had been a
combination of parties to surprise the Government,
and called on Sir W. Molesworth to retract his asser•
tion.

Sir W. MOLESWORTH had only used the words to
express his impression of the attack upon the Go•
vernment.

Mr. R. PHILLTMORE and Mr. WAI.POLE expressed
great indignation at the abusive language of the
right hon. baronet, and Mr. GLADSTONE demanded
a further explanation.

Lord PALM. EASTON declared that his own impres-
sion of a combination had been precisely the same,
and thought his right hon. friend justified in stating
his opinions.

Sir W. MOLERWORTH was ready to believe, upon
the professions made, that there was no preconcerted
combination.

Mr. DISRAELI was astonished that Lord Pal-
merston should have defended his colleague on a
verbal quibble rather than by advising a frank
apology.
The motion for the adjournment was then agreed
to, and the house adjourned at a quarter past one
o'clock.

REAR-ADMIRAL SIR WILLIAM CARROT., K.C.8., has
been appointed to succeed the late Admiral Parry in
the lieutenant-governorship of Greenwich Hospital.
The oppointment is worth 8001. a year, with a suite
of apartments, the gallant officer being, in addition,
entitled to retain his half pay.
GOVERNMENT contemplates converting the Isle of
Wight into a depot for all the troops detachments of
which are to be sent to the Crimea. The object of
this is to prevent desertion, as the only outlets from
the island are at Cowes and Ryde, which could be
easily watched to prevent deserters leaving the Isle of
Wight.

AUG. 4, 1855.

SIR G. BROWN AT LEAMINGTON.

SIR GEORGE BROWN having taken up his resilience
at Leamington, the inhabitants of the town and dis-
trict determined to make a public recognition of his
services in the East by presenting him with an
address, congratulating him on his safe return to
England. The address, numerously signed, was in-
trusted to a deputation consisting of the Hon. C. B.
Percy, Lori Leigh, Lieut.-Col. Tryor, Major Hopkins,
i&c., who on Saturday last waited upon Sir George at
his residence, in Waterloo-place. The gallant general
nturned a suitable reply, in the course of which he
made some observations on the army in the Crimea.
He said :

With respect to the army, 1 may safely assert that its
conduct has been beyond all praise, and that at no period
in the history of this country has the nation had more
reason to be proud of the conduct of its troops. I speak,
not of the soldiers alone, but include with them the officers
by whom they have been led. For the men of the army
are indignant at the attempts that have been made by an
unscrupulous portion of the press in this country to vilify
their officers, and to separate their interests from their own.
It is a mistake and a misrepresentation to assert that the
officers of the army are generally and habitually inattentive
to their duty, or that the condition of the troops would be
improved by having a larger portion of the officers drawn
from the ranks, for it is precisely because they are gentle-
men that the men are so much attached to them. Although,
therefore, far from meaning to speak in disparagement of
individuals who may have raised themselves by their own
merits, many of whom I know to be in the highest degree
respectable, I assert that the military service of this country
would be less popular, and discipline would not be so well
maintained, if the majority of the officers were of this
description. Look at the proportion borne by the officers
to the men, in the returns of killed and wounded, in all
actions that have taken place. It is always nearly double
what it ought to be. Look at the very last affair—that of
the 14th of June —upon which we find a list of 93 officers
to some 1,300 men; the number which would have
answered for 3,0(X). And why is this? Because the
officers, being English gentlemen, are accustomed to set an
example to the troops, and the ►uen, although ready enough
to follow, always expect to be led. Depend upon it, the
less the constitution of the British army is interfered with,
the better it will be for the troops, as well as for the
country ; and I myself have always considered it a subject
of regret, that the Committee of Inquiry which has been
lately sitting, instead of examining witnesses who were not
in a poiition to know much of what they were questioned
about, had not sent to Paris, or brought over some French
officers who had been associated with the English troops.
The committee would have found that our allies have
formed a very different estimate of the merits of our troops
from that which has been funned by some of their own
•nintrymen.