The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1881-04-16 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

"Bridget, I cannot allow you to receive your lover
,r 1 the kitchen any longer." "It's very kind of you, ma'am,
Mit lie is almost too bashful to come into the parlour."—
&of Francisco Newsletter.
•
e',44-, fond mother in Valparaiso, on hearing that an
e43„'
',(lnake was coming, sent'her boys to a friend's in the
fromlatY to escape it. Alter a few days she received a note
'Ong the friend, saying, "Take your boys away and send
- the earthquake instead."
-American newspaper, in quoting the vital
th 'sties of Philadelphia, says, "Of the births, seven
nUsalid three hundred and eighty-five, were children."
D •
ste,,,,urlng a dense fog on the Mississippi, a large river-
ahea-cier had to cast anchor. A traveller, anxious to go
th
ey at ' colue to the man at the wheel and asked him why
YOU ea "Ped• "Too much fog—can't see the river." "But
"butn see the stars overhead." "Yes," replied the sailor,
Until the biter busts we ain't going that way."
1
is Moral:it young man to professor: "Professor, how
hlan to tell a mushroom from a toadstool?" Professor:
Y eatinz it. If you live, it is a mushroom; if you die, it
, 4 tOadStool."
usAb trooklyn wife softly attached a pedometer to her
offtceana. when, after supper, he started to go down to the "
a?yl balance the books" On his return fifteen miles
w e
asbuttarkiA.
wcie.tsaLtbebre recorded. He had been marching round a
editor received
aiirepelFtdhheth:aot trh:escP. r.ceived a letter from a subscriber,
de - 2 not
N e
ws
ibuobßish-a cure for apple-tree worms. He
auldscThe
ioralikely to suggest a cure until he knew what
has found out that nothing
..essed never seems to get them, no matter how carefully
miscarry as a dunning letter. The person
are directed.
~,,There is something wrong with one of our contem-
.•-ranes (says an American paper). It printed an account of
I?r_o_rninent citizen's death the other day, but omitted to
that the sad affair had cast a gloom over the entire
-umutUnity.
haes
An American writer advises that girls who wish to
Mouths should repeat at frequent intervals dur-
Fanny Finch fried five floundering frogs for
atiels Fowler's father."
Ae n exchange speaks of a Chicago man who "has
%,n0,4 foot in the grave." "We presume," says the Bo?ton
t, "its all they could get in without enlarging tha
cernetery."
mai_q=lovr Much are these goods a yard? " said a gentle-
isict t an American dry-goods store the other day, as he
up and examined a piece of ruffled silk. "Good
gracious, ' cried the horrified clerk, " that isn't for sale !
That's the end of a lady's train! She's Just gone up to the
third atorY in the elevator."

• A LIVERPOOL GIFT TO MR.
GLADSTONE.
A short time ago (the Liverpool Mercury says) a
number of Liverpool opticians, members of the Liberal
party, and therefore cordial admirers of Mr. Glad-
stone, conceived the idea of expressing in some way
their high appreciation of his personal worth. Faith-
ful to the old adage that there is nothing like leather,
they have carried that idea out by manufacturing for
his especial use a masterpiece of their handicraft in
the shape of a pair of spectacles. The difficulty of
obtaining the Premier's true " sight " was overcome
by obtaining private information as to the strength of
the glasses which Mr. Gladstone has in ordinary use.
As showing that in this, as in other ways, the great
Liberal leader is by no .means the old man 114-,s years
would indicate, it may be interesting to know that his
" sight " is classed by these skilled opticians as
"remarkably young" for his time of life. Time
frames of the spectacles are of the best gold, the
glasses of the best Brizillian pebbles, and the hand-
some case in which they are placed hears Mr.
Gladstone'ss name on the outside. Everything being
thus completed, the gift is to be forwarded, along
with a beautifully illuminated address, which con-
cludes as follows :—" We beg to assure you of our
appreciation of your favour in accepting these helps
to second sight, and to express the hope that you may
live long to enjoy the use of them, so that we may
profit by your vision." The address and spectacles
will probably be sent to Mr. Herbert Gladstone,
M.P., for the purpose of being conveyed to his
father.