The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1868-12-26 00:00:00

EXTRACTS FROM " PUNCH'S "
ALMANACK.

A Comic's rompLAlNT.—Yomlig clerxemell whose
hearts are in their work often suffer much ti hen fir-t
they addr. so their congregations. The cause /at well
known —psi pit-ation.
CORI,CATIoN FROM O.LNET HAI mi. —A chsc ple of
Hahnemann and Pi iessnitz, mail on It auceopathy,
also on the water-cure, maintains that an intimtusimal
dose of mountain dew is the cure for cataract.
SoCIAL SUFERRTITIoNS.—That it betrays a vulgar
mind to carry a parcel in the street. especially if it be
' wrapped up in a piece of newspaper.-- That if you are
seen running, as though really in s hurry, you muat
certainly lose caste, and that nobody worth knowing
will take notice of you afterwards.—That something
dreadful must happen if you leave your gl.lves at
home, although the weather is so hot that you cannot
bear to wear them. -That if you are a lawyer you will
lose all your best clients should you tarry a blue bag,
hut nobody will be offended at your carrying a black

One
A NEW SAW. —industry is the parent of I,lle-

ness.
A JUST TRIBUTE.—Women are in lily honest. We
firmly believe that the only female in this country
who likes to be in debt is Britannia.
STRONG MOTIVE POWELL—There is perhaps 110
mechanism equal to that of the BJer-Eugine in its
power of elevating the Maßses.
CAUSE AND EFFECT. —"The phenomena of colours
discovered by GvimalrlL" Hence the peculiar appear.
auce of the Clown's dress.
MAIL MEETINGS.—PLATITCDEm FOR THE PLATFORM.
--The Milk of Human Kindness I, Nee nothing to the
Cow with the Iron TaiL Its cream is no cream of
tarter.
A FALSE ALARM.—When you fear your new teeth
are coining out, but they don't.
"THE ACT OF ToL.(DE ROO-I:RATION."
comic Rouge.
;ERMAN STUCK. Alpen-Stock.

A SENSIBLE YOUNG PERSON.
'Tie not because she dressee well
That I admire bliss Brown
Let other tongues her toilettes tell,
I cannot note them down.
Nor is it from her talents that
Sly admiration springs
Althobgh I hear that she can "tat "
As sweetly as she sings.
Tie that no other charms shell wear
Than those by nature grown
Her cheeks are naintless, and her hair,
rin told, is all her owu.

HIGHLY POETICAL—Yon have had words with your
wife—she rejects your advice, or disputes your autho.
rity—she walks out of therocm shutting the door with
unnecessary violence—which of Shelley's poems does
she make you think of by that act ?—The Resole of
Islam.
A RIPE THOUGHT. —lt is A mistake to talk of the
decline of the stage. The British Theatre is now iv
perfection with its mellow-drama.
THE HEIGHT OF MODESTY.—The most bashful girl
we ever know was one who blushed when she was
' asked if she had not been courting sleep.
MORE LATINO.—WiIy is a drama written by a sxmplof o
collaborateurs like pitch ?—because it is by two hlGli
_ . . .

,
CHORUS FOR A litrualdsr.--Ritc-follow-Liddeldhil
de ray.
THE PARADISE OF UNCLEs.—Polynesia.
ANILINE DICES.—What Old Ladies use.
MUSICAL SLANG.—" That's terribly bald," said
critic, after hearing a new overture. "Bill, eh?
remarked his friend. "I suppose vim Mean to say
that good airs are rather scarce in it!"
" A QUESTION TO BE ASKED—If Secret Voting be
adopted and Spinsters get votes, how will they like to
be called Ballot Girls?
QUERY FOR THE ETHNOLOGICAL SOCIETY.—What is
the relation of the Saxon and Celtic races to the
Derby?
PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY
Calf for its veal.
CHIT-CHAT.—Girls' talk.
THE EEFECTS OF EDUCATION. Our Nursemaid
(AnEidA) is fond of fine words. The other day she gave
warning. When a dced the reason, instead of the
usual answer that she wanted to better herself, she
said that she wished to ameliorate herself.
LOCAL EXAMINATION PAPER—Geography.—Name a
bigger Isle of Dogs than our own. Newfoundland.

—Do not kill the Golden