The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1875-02-13 00:00:00

SELECTED ANECDOTES.ft

WESTERN MILTSEMENTS.—Some motion of public
amusements in the Far West is conveyed by the fol-
lowing from the Pioche (Nev.) Record: "To-morrow
afternoon some rare sport is offered at Mitchell's
Saloon, Meadow Valley-street, being a butting
match between two American citizens of African
descent. The stakes are two hundred dollars a side,
and price of admission one dollar.
A HINT TOR UNHAPPY SPOUSES.--All American
theatrical manager, who is not very fortunate either in
his business or his matrimonial relations, is, it is
stated, about to start for China. He has been told
that Chinese creditors can seize a bankrupt's wife and
sell her I
A LITTLE MISTAKE I—After the election of Mr.
Wilberfince for Hull, his sister promised the compli-
ment of a new dress for the wife of every freeman who
had voted for her brother. At this she was saluted
with the cry, "Miss Wilberforce for ever 1" but she
smilingly observed, "Thank you, gentlemen, but I
really cannot agree with you Ido not wish to be Miss
Wilbeilorce for ever."

" DOUBLE " AND QUM—Alexandre Dumas used to
tell the following anecdote. Being one evening at the
San Carlo, Naples, he entered into conversation with
a stranger sitting in the stall next to him. "I hope,"
said the latter at the close of the performance, "that
we may have the pleasure of meeting again. lam
Alexandre Dumas." "Oh, indeed!" replied the cele-
brated novelist, with his gay laugh; "so am I!"
'The stranger "collapsed."
"Two LITTLE MANORS."—Sir Fletcher Norton was
noted for his want of courtesy. When pleading before
Lord Mansfield, on some question of manorial right,
he chanced to say: "My lord, I can illustrate the
point in an instant in my own person; I myself have
two little manors." The judge immediately inter-
posed, with one of his blandest smiles, "We all know
• it, Sir Fletcher."
TWO SORTS OF INK !—A good story is told apropos
of a recent Hamlet, who proposed to play the part of
the Dane in a red cloak, which intention was reported
to a Shakspereau actor of the old school, who said,
"Very.well,. he did not see anything shocking in that."
"But is it 'right ?" asked interlocutor. "I daresay it
is," 1 said the actor; "red was the colour of mourning
in the Royal house of Denmark." "But how do you
geti over this" persisted the other, quoting, ""Tie
not' alone my inky cloak, good mother.' " Well,"
said the old Shakspearean, calmly, "I suppose that
there is such a thing as red ink ?"
. THE HINT TAKEN.—A bishop in the House of
Lords rose to speak, and announced that he should
divide what he had to say into twelve parts, when a
peer interrupted, and begged he might be indulged for
a fOw minutes, as he had a story to tell which he could
only introduce at that moment. "A drunken fellow
was passing by. St. Paul's at night, and heard the
clock slowly chiming twelve. He counted the
strokes, and when it had finished looked towards the
clock and said, 'Hang you! Why couldn't you give
us all that at once?" The bishop chimed in with the
idea, and did not continue his address.
TRADE WrrHour CAPITAL.--One of the new branches
of industry that demands no capital and no special en-
dowments is the mat trade. The way to obtain a
stock ix trade is to walk up to the front door of a
dwelling, take a mat, go home and wash it, and then
go back and sell it to the former owner. The profits
are immense.
A BROTHERLY CLAIM ON FOOTE.—When Foote was
once walking with his friend Guhagan, in Soho Square,
they met a most miserable object, who earnestly
solicited their charity. Gulaagan refused; but observ-
ing that Foote had given him a few pence, said "I
believe you are imposed upon, for I am morally
certain that fellow is an impostor."—" He is either the
most distressed man, or the best actor, I ever saw in
my life," replied the comedian; "and as either one or
the other, he has a brotherly claim upon me.
NEGATIVES AND POSITIVES.—Mr. Pitt was dis-
puting at a cabinet dinner on the energy and beauty
of the Latin language. In support of the superiority
which he affirmed it to have over the English, he.
asserted that two negatives made a thing more positive
than one affirmative possibly could. "Then," said
Thurlow, "your father and mother must have been
two complete negatives to make such a positive fellow
as you axe."
4INECDOTE OF LORD PALMERSTON.—A few years ago,
Lord and Lady Palmerston visited her ladyship's
estates in Derbyshire, and as it was known all over the
kingdom that the Premier would have to respond to a
complimentary address, about twenty reporters, repre-
senting most of the principal journals, visited Mel-
bourne. Lord Palmerston was informed of the pre-
sence of the gentlemen of the press before the opening
of the meeting, and, being told that an important
speech was expected from him, he said, "Well, I am
sorry for the gentlemen who have come so far for
nothing; tell them what Canning once told a deputa-
tion who asked him for a manifesto—' Cabinet Minis-
ters are like fishes; they drink a good deal, and say
very little.' "
THE SOUL OF WlT.—Talleyrand acynowledged a
pathetic letter from a lady friend announcing her widow-
hood with a note of two words' " 1161 as, madame !"
And when the easily consoled dame wrote, not very
long afterwards, soliciting his influence in behalf of an
officer she was about to marry, he merely replied,
"Ho, ho, madame !" More satisfactory to the reci-
pient was Lord Eldon's note to his friend Dr. Fisher,
of the Charterhouse : "Dear Fisher,—l cannot, to-
day, give you the preferment for which you ask.—
You; sincere friend, Eldon. (Turn over.) I gave it
you yesterday."
Rom AND THORNS.—A well-known German florist,
in a high state of irritation, related his troubles in this
way. He said: "I have so much drouble wit de
ladies yen dey come to buy mine rose : dey vants him
hardy, dey vants doubles, dey vants him moondly,
dey vants him fragrand, dey vents him nice gouler,
dey vants him ebery dings in von rose. I hopes lam
not vat you calls von uncallant man, but I have some-
dimes to say to dat ladies, 'Madame, I never often
sees ladies dat vas beautiful, dat vas rich, dat vas
good-temper, dat vas youngs, dat vas clever, dat vas
perfection in one ladies. I see her much not!
SCENE IN A PRINTING OFFICE.—COrnpOSitOr (read-
ing his copy) : "The whole of the fashionable world
assembled last night in the magnificent rooms e
the Duchess of S—, who— An Apprentice
"Who's she—the Duchess of S— ? " Compositor
(disdainfully) : "Where do you pass your evenings? "
A " SLIGHT "TOKEN OF REGARD.—A Paris paper say?
that at the recent farewell performance of a popular
actress a spectator felt aggrieved because he was not per-
mitted to throw a bunch of flowers he had with him to
his favourite comedvenne. It was pointed out to him,
however, that it was not so much the flowers as the
flower-pot to which the objection was raised.
A MEANING EPLY.—A young lady having been
presented to Louis Napbleon when he was only Presi-
dent, fancied she was haughtily received. "Are you
for a long stay in France? 'coolly asked the President.
"No," was the reply; "are you ? "
TAKING AWAY HOOK'S TONGUE !—Theodore Hook
was relating to his friend, Charles Mathews, how on
one occasion, when supping in the company of Peake,
the latter surreptitiously removed from his i late seve-
ral slices of tongue; and, affecting to be very much
annoyed by such practical joking, Hook concluded
with the question, Now, Charles, what would you
do to anybody who trelted you in such a manner ?"
"Do ?" exclaimed Mathews "why, if any man
meddled with my tongue, I'd lick him."

I

wait): A TRUE PATRIOT. bib -Olt* ti
Referring to the remarkable adventures of M. Edmond
Valentin, during the recent war between France and Ger-
many, the Daily News, in a leader, writes :
It is refreshing enough amid the tiresome details: the
perpetual see-saw, the alternating clamour and apathy
of French politics, to come across a bit of genuine and
heroic patriotism ; and that has just been furnished us
in the story told of M. Edmond Valentin, who is now
one of the candidates for the representation of the de-
partment of the Seine-et-Oise. The story is in one
sense an old one; it was partly told inour own columns
during the progress of the late war; but the particular
account of it now published justifies us in referring
again to one of the most brilliant personal exploits of
the Franco-German campaign. Of the career of M.
Valentin before the breaking out of the war, we
need say but little. He was a staunch Republican,
and of some note; therefore he became one of the
victims of the coup d'etat. When Prince Louis
Napoleon sought at one blow to crush the liberties of
France, M. Valentin was one of the deputies who were
seized and thrown into prison; afterwards he was
released and banished. He went to Belgium but the
Belgiiifiguthorities-reeeivedOrdera to expel f:dm:; and
so he came over to England. For some time, it is said
he had a hard time of it; but in due course he got his
head above water; and in the year 1860 he was ap-
Ipointed to deliver a series of lectures at Woolwich.
Ee was one of the French masters in the Royal

an.4l,

Military Academy there for ten years—until 1870
indeed, when France declared war against Prussia.
He recognized the danger which his country was
about to race; he went straight to Paris, and demanded
from the War Minister permission to enlist as a private
volunteer in the very battalion in which he had for-
merly held the rank of officer. His letter was not
even answered: doubtless the Empire considered it-
self able to conquer Germany without the aid of Re-
publicans. But when the Empire dashed itself to
pieces against the rock of German unity, Valentin 's
opportunity had arrived. He was a native of Stras-
bourg. The electors of the Lower Rhine had in former
years chosen him as their deputy; and it was as the
Prefect of this Department that he received from
the Government of the National Defence autho-
risation to go thither and help as best he
might the heroic defence of Strasbourg. That,
indeed, was a mission which some might have
regarded with an ironical smile. The Prefecture was
in Strasbourg; Strasbourg was closely beset by General
Von Werder; how was the new Prefect to assert his
authority? The new Prefect resolved that he would,
somehow or other, get through the German lines into
the city of his birth.
M. Valentin went down to Colinar, and there he got
the wife of a worthy Alsacian to sew into the lining of
his coat the commission he had from the then existing
Government. The Alsacian himself accompanied him,
and the two adventurers pl'ocecded to Mutterholz. At
ten o'clock at night they passed the frontier of the
Department of the Lower Rhine, and found them-
selves within the line of investment. This first attempt
failed almost at the outset, for they were immediately
captured by a body of Baden dragoons, who carried
them before one of the Generals. M. Valentin, who''
knew English perfectly, represented himself as an
American, who was the son of an Alsatian father,
' and who was exceedingly curious to witness the
siege of Strasbourg. The General was very sus-
picious; but at length consented to release his pri-
soners, warning them, however, that they must
leave Alsace, and that, if they were found moon-
ing around" again they would be forthwith shot. The
.dragoons kindly conducted M. Valentin to the hankie
of the Rhine, and there sent him across to the Bedew}
side. It was from this side accordingly that his next
attempt was made. He went to Offenburg, where were:
a good many Strasbourg people who had. fled; and
they endeavoured to persuade him from attempt-
ing an apparently hopeless feat, but all in vain. He
left Offenburg. Alone he went down to the banks
of the Rhine at some distance from Kehl, and there
recognizing the fortifications on the other side, he
believed he could make his way in among his
friends if only he got safely across the river. He
was just about to swim the broad stream when,
for the second time, the übiquitous German horsemen
pounced down upon him. This time it was a small
body of Uhlans that captured him; and they forth= -
with took him with them into Kehl. Here he gave
himself up for lost. He was well known in the place.
Moreover, in former days, he had had a warm discus-
sion with the landlord of the Hotel de la Poste there,
and it was to this very inn, where the Commandant
had his quarters, that they conducted him. Fortu-
nately the bombardment had frightened away pretty
nearly all the inhabitants of the place; not even the
irascible landlord had remained to sell cognac to the
soldiers. No one recognised him, and once more
he was set at liberty, though his captors warned
him that if he were found anywhere within thirty
leagues of the scene of operations, he would be shot
without mercy. Thus, then, he had failed to get into
Strasbourg from the south and from the east; there
now remained the north, by which line of approach
the Germans had advanced. from Wissenbourg. In
the north was their chief line of communications
there also were the head-quarters of General von
Werder. If the south and the east were impossible,
the north seemed a hundred times more hopeless. But
M. Valentin resolved to enter Strasbourg from the
north.
First of all he went to Wissenbourg, where he
made the acquaintance of the wife of a brewer of
Schiltigheim, the village where Von Werder had his
headquarters, and this brave woman said she would
conduct M. Valentin and his friend Stooz (the partner
of his first attempt) to the village in question. They
set out in a carriage. At Hagenau they fell into the
hands of a patrol of cavalry, but the Alsacian waman
was ready with a calm and sufficient explanation, and
they were allowed to pass. They reached Schiltigheim,
and found the brewery full of Prussian soldiers. The
brewer himself was not a little alarmed when he heard
of what his wife had done and still proposed to do—
probably he felt himself in the position of our
" guidman," who, as the old Scotch song tells,
" cam hame at e'en' to find his wife sheltering
one of the cavaliers—and as M. Valentin was averse
from provoking conjugal quarrelling, he and his friend
Stooz resolved to go on by themselves. As luck would
have it, the very first house they went into was the
inn where General von Werder's headquarters wergi
posted. Valentin boldly ordered something to eat, he-'
was served by "the son of the house," and this young
man he took into his confidence, begging him to pro-
cure a guide. The young man tried and failed, no one,
would venture; but for three days and two nights he
concealed Valentin in the corner of a lumber-room;
From this coign of vantage he could overhear the con-
versation of the soldiers—once or twice he heard Von'
Werder himself—and in time he came to know
how the troops passed the day and to judge of the
best opportunity for his attempt. On the night
of the third day Valentin quitted his hiding-place,
and without hindrance walked along until he had got
nearly to the first trench of the German lines. Then
he suddenly set off running, leaped the first trench,
and found himself rolling in a potato-field. Getting
on his feet again, he made for an opening in the
second parallel, across a field of maize. By this time,
however, the alarm had been given, and on all sides
he heard the sentinels firing. It was nine o'clock at
night, and, the darkness aiding him, he crept, ventre Cs
term, across the field of maize until, after three-
quarters of an hour, he found himself on the banks of
the Aar. He swam across; he made his way into one of
the flooded fosses of the outlying fortifications; he•called
to his countrymen in the lunette. At first they fired on
him; but, strange to say, he escaped that danger also,
and at last succeeded in getting into the city and pre-
senting his credentials What was the result? So
far as the siege was concerned, only that the inevitable
was staved off for a week. Strasbourg had to capi-
tulate all the same; and Valentin was among the
prisoners who were detained at Ehrenbreitstein. But
the results of such an exploit, great or little, neither
enhance nor detract from its noble self-devotion and
brilliant courage. There are not so many features of
the late war which Frenchmen may be supposed to
recall with pleasure that they can afford to forget the
heroism of M. Valentin even though he was an
offitial of the now slighted Government of the National
Defence. . . .
Sin,

' •

ce the above sketch was written, 111. Valentin,
the Republican candidate, has been elected Deputy for
the department of Seine-et-Oise by 55,000 votes. The
Duke de Padoue (Bonapartist), obtained 41,000 votes,
and M. de Keratry, 4,000 votes.