The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1880-07-27 00:00:00

FAUN AND FANCIEi.
(From Punch.)

THE LonioNwis Err TO THE MAIN CHANCl.—Getting
ov.or it without h-ing hlon lip!

-6,4• A BRIAD PLAirmt.Z"*;lll, Austin, cm you reed
tht7—" mamma.* '' Well, it is rather difficult I
Thos., sro old Ear lid' lettere."—" Are they / Then no
wonder the socient Britons couldn't reit I or write I"
_ _ . . . _

GROUND GAM; &C —Squire (Whet. pe-r.ticexeA)7"' Hullo,
! Where did you get the hur r —Pat: "Shure, sort,
tie reatite wee wantrrin* atinut, an' I thought I'd take
•t to the ' wane, r Squire: "flit did the keeper Bee
you r —Pat : "But. in, honour. Ice been loekin' for him
iv r • ince I caught it !I"

TAKING THE LAW IN ONES OWN ifANDN.-FAir but con-
*iterate customer fat a &sone* shop): "Pray pit down.
Yu look *o tired. roe ben riding all the afternoon in
a ca niece, and don't require • chair."
COMPENSATION FOR DISTURBANCE.

Our old bachelor, afnr r ,ading that the above bill is
shortly t, bee me law, hopes that henceforth be will be
enabled to claim onrap-neation for disturbance arising
front. among others, the following ewe..
. . ...- . .

Compensation for being disturbed in hi. first sleep by
the opposite old nosid's eats (they are legion) breathing
.alt and amornus.nolhings.sinder his wisdom'.

C,mriensstion for twi
sdisturbed in big second sleep by
the chicntirlelr of Kr. Jones (who keeps fowls at No. 7)
pri-lai ruing the irritating truism that dawn is at band.
Compensation for fi.ing diaturbed in his morning
scions., by the young lady next door's pereevering. but
annoying and wrong-noted. practice of the Sultan's
poika. . . . .

• ..
C unpensation for being disturbed in his afternoon's nap
by tilt no-mi,t Ike-shout-it cries of the infant next door
the other wtr, when it hes eoniething on its mind, or
atom seh, and can't find weeds ti express its feelings on
the subject.
Clmpene.tion for the Times nearly sivesys being "Is
h ' At tho club when ho s ants it, and, when he does
Ant it, t.r being disturbed every three minutes with,
After you with the Times, sir.'
C,ninensation for being dieturbed over his post.
pe3l.li .1 cigar ti settle !kraal differences of opinion with
cone-tmitant scuffle between the *Jassy'
Colnitens.Von for being disturbed in his sermonal dose
by boy dropping • hook in the pew behind.
Cluurtensation for being disturbed when shaving by •
me gigs from "the gat," *eying that if the money isn't
se.2 downat ‘ire at or c• he'll "cut it off."
. . . _ . . . . . .

Compere ition for trier clittirbeii after heavy rain by
the wet r rttibiox in an I n e 'in e the piece. owing to the
.irwer ph, Shaine int linutio in carry off the greatlr-
inere 401 velum e iltriltitied by the immetnae amount
th nes property ariwn Yould shout hasadded to the
extra rainfall.

(From Pun)
" Tuit Limit Itasesi. "—Miss Flirtington :—" Yee, I
like the place very much, Musfor : you have such a jolly
set of men down here" The Major :—" Yea, awfully
jolly. You'd better steel your heart, Miss Flirtington. in
CAM of Accident." Miss F.:—" Well, woile I'm about it,
Major, I'd rather steal somebody else's, don't you know I'

POSSIBLY.
(Saiggeatai by a Carrant laciab7.)

"Ailswell From stem to stern, no spar unsound,—
There never sailed a ship more worth her cost I'
If that he se, and she was Jodged well found.'
nee. cherry optimists, so p'eaeed all round.
Will tell us next that she has bass well lost t"