The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1880-04-03 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

At Montreal last week a locomotive crossed the river
on the ice. We prefer quail on toast, but still a locomotive
on ice is food for reflection.
-

The Rev. Louis Wazamacanayana is a Dakota
clergyman. He has one satisfaction, however. Nobody
opens his letters by mistake.
A small boy was seen to approach stealthily the
windows of the county jail at Raymond, Mississippi, a few
days ago, and hand in through the bars something having the
appearance of an immense crowbar. The police were in-
formed of it, and a posse of men surrounded the jail, while a
couple of officers proceeded to the cell, to recover the weapon
from the prisoner. On reaching the cell they found the
prisoner quietly sitting on his stool devouring a yard-long
Bologna sausage.

A Mobile paper describes a young lady with hair
"as black as a raven's." The ravens weren't wearing any
hair to speak of last summer, but we suppose the style has
changed this year.
When an old backwoodsman was about to take his
first ride on a Mississippi steamer, he was asked whether he
would take deck or cabin passage. "Well," said he, in a re-
signed sort of way, "I have lived all my life in a cabin, and
I guess cabin passage will be good enough for a rough chap
like me."

"Your husband is sick a good deal of late, isn't
he?" remarked a Southern Illinois woman to another. "Yes,"
answered the wife, ",he's got tuk down mighty hard with
them 'ere ager-shakes agin." "I shud think it 'ud be sorter
distressin' ter have him 'round the house," remarked the
other, sympathisingly; " spec'ly when you're at house
cleamn'," "Wal, so it wud be," replied the wife, in self-
consoling tones, "but when he's got inter one of his chills,
and I want the rug carpet slink, yer see he's a powerful
smart hand ter hitch onto it." Then the other woman
wended her way home, envying her neighbour the knack she
had of utilising her husband.

Two darkies were vaunting their courage. "I isn't
'feard o' nothin', I isn't," said one, "Den Sam, I reckon you
Isn't feared to loan me a dollah ?" "No, Julius, I isn't
feared to loan you a dollah, but I does hate to part wid an
ole fren' forebber."

A story is told of a candidate of Congress whose
hand-writing resembled hieroglyphics. During a hot poli-
tical contest some rash individual threateoed to challenge
his vote. " You had better not," broke in a "mutual," "for
if he do he will produce a specimen of his penmanship, and
then challenge your own vote on the ground that you cannot
read."

A man living near Indianapolis, Ind, who has been
so unfortunate as to loose five excellent wives, desired to
erect a head-stone for each, commemorating her virtues, but
has been deterred by the expense. The other day a happy
thought struck him. The five wives were hurried side by
in the same grave-yard. He accordingly had the Christian
name of each engraved on a small stone—" Emma," "Jane,"
"Mary," "Margaret," "Elizabeth "—a hand, cut on each
stone pointing to a large stone in the centre of the lot, and
under each hand the words, "For epigraph see large stone."
" Woodworker" an Indian chief, says he has never
seen a gray-haired Indian in his life, and he has seen some
over ninety years old. It is because an Indian has no trouble,
no worriment, or anything that way. Let an Indian start a
twenty-four-column daily paper in a six-column town, to fill
a long felt want, and his hair would turn grey in one night.
—Norristown Herald.

EASTER EXCURSIONS FOR 1980.—" North Pole,
China, Japan, New Zealand, and Central Africa.
Fast balloon services. There and back in five days for
3s. 6d."—Funny Folks.
MORTALITY AND SUICIDE IN THE GERMAN ARMY.—
The Times remarks :—" Exclusive of the whole of the
Bavarian troops, the German army lost by death in
the month of January last 130 men. That there is
something still wanting in the conditions of the Ger-
man service to make it tolerable to many of the rank
and file appears to be indicated by the fact that no
fewer than 22 men and officers committed suicide in
the course of the single month in question. Of the
130 deaths, therefore, only 108 are referable to causes
other than suicide."