The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-02-22 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.
A Chicago man has invented a bunk peculiarly suit-
able to rall4 ay travellers, as by. simple contrivance it may
be converted into a coffin

A young lady of New York, wh ) impartially deaf,
is In the habit of answering " yes ".
to ever}thieg when a
gvntltni in Is talking t her, for fear he might propose to her
atni she not hear it.

Mark Twain says the Sandwich Islanders are gene-
r Ily a unlettt red a. the bitch side of a tonthetune.

Upon the snarriayo of Mios Wheat, of Vll.Lduia,
sn editor hoped that her path tulght be fi.wery, and that eho
might never be thrathed by her husband.

A New York rentleman in blee,ed with fifteen
i•usltters, and he to loolong about for fifteen likely young
men to bleb& rach of them with a wife.

An amateur journalist of Indianopolis ha, made a
fortune by his pen. This was how it came to paws Hie
father-In'law died of grief after reading one of his editorials,
and left him 130,0 dollars.

Between Easton and Leavenworth the stage from
Oskaloosa crosses the track of the Kansas Central Rail.
way. Tilt, driver considers it danger°ns for the narrow
gauge Cars, And to pr,vent their being run d iwo, is going to
put up a warning f.ir the engiueers, like this:—' Crossing—
Look out for the Oskaloosa hack !"
At a young ladiee' institute in America the pupils
are pnt through a "domestic course," somewhat in this
style:—" Would you prefer an iron to an earthen pot on your
kitchen stove ? " " How would you expend two dollars if
you had a s.ck husband and six children too young to
ork ? ' "How would you make bread ?" One of the
classes last week unanimously answered With flour and
yeast." . .
- -

•
A gentleman who considers the martyr Brelucid as
one of the greatest figures in the history of this country, is
prepared to erect a niemorial over the spot where he was put
to death. lithe elect, locality can be pointed out to him. He
says that all the histories wilieh he has consulted give him
only approximate results. Baffle for the right one.
A most sin mlar story is mentioned by an intelligent
bet unknown dividual c. accruing an old-faehioned clock.
About fourteen years ago an old lady fell ill of heart disease
while winding up the clock. The time was ten minutes
before ten in the morning, and ever since, wind the clock up
when you will. It always ceases to go on any further at
exactly ten on the anniversary of her death We hope some
of our daily contemporaries will write " leaders " on this.

Jacksonville ( l'enn.) young ladies tie up their taper
lingers, and when the young gentlemen callers in the evening
invire the cause, blushingly reply—" I burnt them, slide
broiling the beefsteak this morning." They think to catch
husbands upon the belief that the), the girls, are real homely
creatures ; but the monotony of the proceedings has resulted
In the exposure of Its hollowness.

Mark Twain, writing to the New York Tribune on
the Send with Islands, says .—" Many years ago the late king
and his brother visited California, and some Sacraments folks
thought It would be fun to get them drunk. So they
gathered together the most responsible soaker* in the town,
and began to till up Itdyalty and themselves with strong
brandy punches At the end of two or three hours the
citiz.ns were all lying torpid under the table, and the two
princes were sitting disconsolate, and saving what a lonely,
dry country it was ! I tell it to you as Is was told to me at
Saoramento."

AMERICAN MURDER JOSE. —How strange it is that
railroad men will not mind their own business ! If they
would only du so. how much unhappiness they might pre-
vent ! A man, while riding on the platform of an Ogdens-
burg and Rouse's Point car, looked out to see what town the
trsin was apdrombitig, when his hat blew off, and he was
about to jump off after it, when the brakeman seized and
prevented him from carrying out his rash intention. His
wife witnessed the whole affair, and said she wished brake-
men would mind their own business. It Is thought she
doted on her lord.