The Press.
London, England, 1853-12-31 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

DECEMBER 31, 1853.

SCENE IV.-THE SUBTERRENE PANTECHNICON.

[A cavernous apartment, dimly lighted, and of invisible dimensions. Certain personages
in the centre stirring a cauldron. A depressing intinence affects their spirit,: as
is shown by their caudal appendages, wh'et, instead of being cocked, are &awing
limply in the dust.]
Personage No. I.—The spell is incomplete ; our old expedients
Require the presence of some new ingredients.
Personage No. 2.—Yet we have sought wherever mischief lurks
In mortal motives or in mortal works.
Personage No. 3.—And all in vain ! But, lo! here comes Asmodeus,
His quest successful or his presence odious.
[Enter the Familiar Demon, with distended pockets and a fresh odour of sulphur,
which pervades the apartment. lie intones the following]
Here I am again, my hearties,
Bringing aid from various parties.
First, the flimsier illusions—
Peas "leavings"—contributions
Of a set of " Lilliputians "
Shifts of waverers and waiters,
Purists who collude with Hayters,
Prudes who can coquet with Satyrs.
Hero are scruples mixed with jobs,
Holy reveries with Hobbes ;
Gliulstone's private macerations,
While he nutkes his calculations ;
Molesworth's published annotations ;
Plans to Puseyize the poor,
Flanked with praises of Tom Moore;
Smut and Psalters, I)ouay Bibles,
Herbert's scorn and Hayward's libels.
Here's a boasted bit of wealth,
.Temmy Graham's " Bill of Health ;"
Homage due at Windsor Castle
Filched away by Wiseman's vassal
In his compact.with Newcastle ;
Here are scorning (partiality)
Tracts to vindicate " Morality,"
Tenders to induce venality,
Austere rubrics and rascality,
All in intimate sodality.
All.—That's a fine lot, including sonic " intentions"
To pave our premises. What more subventions ?
Impositions ; Whig traditions,
Party ethics (cheap editions) ;
" Antiquated Imbecility "
Tutoring Whig Juvenility,
And their most inveterate haters
Eager to serve " foreign traitors."
Here are John's reforming fancies
(Constitutional romances) ;
Charles Wood's budgets as intended,
Then as re-re-re•amended ;
Durham letters, Papal fetters,
John's obeisance to his betters ;
All the fruits which make, in short,
Fit dessert for Bedford's Port.
Here's a lot I highly prize,
Words "Enormous sacrifice!!!"
This should make your brewage rise.
[euuldron plighay anomaly.
Here's a jest, an ancient " Joe,"
The Plagiarist of course you know.
All.—Oh, Bernal Osborne! Bernal Osborne, oh!
[Cauldron again subonlec

Ah, I see, I must deliver
The best arrows of my quiver,
Weapons to which other spoils
Are but play-shafts—blunted foils.
Wrapp'd in rags of " sacrifice "
(Hypocrisies in lofty guise)
Here is fuel for your flame,
Private truckling—public shame.
Want of concert—fumbling fear,
Loss and failure far and near.
Parties which suspend their action
Yield priority to faction:
Faction, as her fury urges,
Points her goad and knots her scot rges—
Liberal jargon, cloaking hate,
Liberal "Progress" tempting fate,
By its efforts out of date;
Envy carping at degree,
Licence aping Liberty,
Crouching violence parading,
Its pretence that war shall cease,
Meted passions masquerading,
In the milk-white garb of peace.
These I bring you, and with these
Perils and indignities ;
Faction holds the door ajar
To the Bed-man, Pope, and Czar.
Felon cravings, priestly claims,
Limitless Imperial aims,
Harnessed for their onward course
By Necessity and Force.