The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1861-07-02 00:00:00

GOOD VICTUALS SPOILT.
The following amusing sketch of a dinner ia th•
suburbs appear, in the Tim,. of WedneAday.

" Delicacies everywhere,
" But Dot s bit to eat."

must ask your assistance. Here am I, eating
cold meat with a wolfish appetite at the Cam and
Choker Club. A generous and confiding friend has
paid for me this day a 'sin that would have kept a family
fur a inonth in order that I might dine luxuriously, and
here I am ravenous over this mutton bone. I am hungry
when I ought to be satiafie4 ; I mu angry when I
ought to be digesting; I am devouring coarse food when
I ought to be wrapped ill 11 ',Leaman% retrospect of deli-
crimes pleaeantly absorbed.
I have been to one of these alluring and disappointing
things called auburban dinners. The view MIA
beautiful; maitre was lovely ;the landscape was superb,
" all but the spirit of man was sublime." Even the
spirit of man was not so very bad. 'rite preparations
were of the most civilised character. The fruit and
flowers were fresh and appetizing; and. taking up a
111(1116 and running over it an appreciating eye. I could
find nothing to criticise but a slight tendency to
heaviness and • somewhat too sumptuous prodigality.
Everything looked so cool and temperate, and so placidly
arranged, that I said to • gentle being at icy side,
" Here at lewd, we shall have • quiet, prolonged. and
chatty dinner."
Sir, that dinner was like • dog-fight. No sooner
were we waged round the table then • crowd of black•
coated savagts, who, considering the nature of the
work they had to do, ought to have been excited by
hashish or bang, or some dire drug, took t uiuul Wow; pos-
session of the room. They rush to and fro ; they
stumble over each other ; they jostle, they talk to each
other over their shoulders, while speeding lull tilt
against the terrified sitters. Some deposit uncongenial
food before unwillim, recipiente ; others are engaged at
vile titbits hacking joints of meat into great lumps of
flesh. The only one who retains the least presence of
mind it. a staid old gentleman who walks tranquilly
round with a glass ice-pail, spoiling every LIAO'S wine
in • cowardly manner while his head is turned in hope
of food.
Why have I this disgusting square lump of fat lamb
stuck down under my nose ? Why did that impetuous
waiter, starting away from one of the aide tables, deliver
himself of his burden to ale, undessirous of such a pos-
session? But my fate is fixed. I may have mint salmi
—indeed, I must have mint sauce; or I may have
peas. But the cotelettes if to Duchene, tin soinii tie
mines, the Kromeskie a to Polonaise, and all the
other delicacies upon which I had set my honest
affections are going round all in one rapid whirl, and
then disappearing out of the room. Seise one of them
who may, but if you have a full plate before you, you
lose your chance. Dare to daily, say one word to your
neighbour, tell • story acrom the table and lo the golden
moment is gone. Even that 'square lump of lamb is
snatched away, and, the rush being now pretty well
over, you way quietly, dine off strawberry ice and
wafers.
Who is it who first introdnoed this horrible super-
stition that a Christian man is to be stuffed like a
sausage-skin; that a Richinond, or Crystal Palace, or
Greenwich dinner is to do its best to emulate an
American ordinary; and that the duty of a mob of
waiters is to force a dinner through in the fewest
possible amount of minutes? That man, whoever be
may be, is an enemy to the human race. He has
turned a cherming recreation into an apoplexy trap, for
it is • question between apoplexy and starvatioe. He
has stopped all conversation, and he has made pleasant
colintry dinners mere brutal feeds.
Begat Savarin, that truly good and great man, when
be asked Ids brother judges to those feasts of the
gods which he delighted to invite, used to say, as he sat
down, " Ma confrires, we are gping to eat a great deal;
let us eat deliberately." Let any one recall his
recollections of a French service, where each successive
(I'M comes round in due rotation and with decent
interval, and compare them with this noisy eagle which
we experience at all our English dinners. A hungry
and a disappointed man appeals to yes, Messrs. Ellis
and Strange and Hart and Quartermaine, and all others
the magnates of rural gratromomy. Do restrain the
i•epetueiity of your waiters; iuipose a trues of ten
minutes between your dishes; give us • little time to
talk to onr neighbours, and some chance of tasting the
good things you provide; and so may your whitebait
never fail, and may the calipash of your turtles be
always abundant!
I am, ke.,
FESTINA LENTE.

GALVANISM, NT ITS WONVEMUL IDENTITY with
Nervo-electric force, is the very spring of life, and the
surest restorative of exhausted nervous power in a
diseased body ; this fact stated by recent discoveries in
Eleetro-Physiolorpp, and confirmed by the remarkable
curative result* of PULVIRMACHER
SPATENT GALVANIC
CHAIN BINDS AND BATTERICS in Rheumatism.
Neuralgie,Head and Tooth Ache.Spaxms, Asthma. Bron-
chitis, Indigestion, Liver Complaint, Paralysis, Epilepsy,
Nervous Deafness, Nervous Debility, Ito., is proved by
numerous authentic reports extruded from the Scientific
and Medic -I Press, which, with a great variety of private
testimonials. are compiled in a pamphlet, "Putexa•-
MACHER'SbirROVID MOHR* GALVANIC STSTEMOTSSIX,
APPLICATION," sent post free, on receipt of three stamps,
by J. L. PULVLIMACHST and Co., 73, Oxford-street,
London, adjoining Princess's Theatre.--Advice Gratis.
TOADS CATALCOUBS.—" One cannot but he ',truck
with astonishment at the innumerable ways in which
an enterprising tradesman appeals to the public with
a view to hieratic his trade. Printing in all its
branches, assisted by the skill of the wood engraver.
senile. In site present day, to be one et the mema mien
generally employed ill spreading the knowledge of
various manufactures. These arts have ably been
brought into use by Mr. Benson, the eminent watch-
niaker of 33 and 34, Ludgate Hill. and 46 and 47.
Pornbill, who has sought., by Wails of an ' Illustrated
Pamphlet' (amending of nearly 60 pp., and containing
upwards of 250 beautiful dedgus for watches, clocks,
Ito., with an elaborate description of every construction
of watch now made), to enable persons liviug in any
part of the world to select the watch best adapted
for their use, and have it forwarded free by poet.—
Sen.
THE ONLY SaEILTY YOB THE SICIL.---Abolll two years
ago Professor Holloway obtained. through the means
of the Catholic Misitionaries at Pekin, an order from
the Emperor to admit heneeforth these "Glorious
Medicines, as they are called in the decree, into all
parte of the Celestial Etupire,—they may now be found
to Pekin and other large towns in China with the most
copious instructions for their use translated into Chinese.
Medical science is in is most deplorable state amongst the
Celeatials—therefore these world renowned remedies
are earning for themselves a great renown in all tarts of
China, is they have so justly obtained in stillest every
' other part of the world. In North and South America,
these medicines are superseding most other proprietary
remedies—the editor of Comm( y News writes as follows,
—A salutary revolution is in progress. Since the in-
troduction of Holloway's oelebrated Pills and Ointment
into this country • new light has broken in upon us.
We have begun to discover that the disordered action
of the great intermit organs can be regulated and health
restored, without • resort to mineral poisons. That in-
stead of mercury, which in the end withers "marrow,
bones, and all," Holloway's Pills, which are exclusively
vegetable, are all-sullicieet for the cure of liver com-
plaint, disorders of time bowels, and all diseases arising
from indigestion. We have also found out that
scrofula, cutaneous eruptions, and simmers, abscesses
and all kinds of ulcers, beat and are radically cured by
Holloway's Ointment. The reign of calomel, caustic,
and other medicine' detametives, draws to a close,
and we may possibly live to see the may when Holloway's
lift-sustaining remedial will be the alpha and omega
of the people's inaterie mediat.

ilotloWAT II PILLS. —Time Pills are more efffacious in
strengthening a debilitated constitution than at ) other medi-
cine In the world. Persons of a nervous habit of body, and
all who are selsiteg from weak digestive organs, or whose
health has become deranged by bilious affections, deerdered
stomach, or liver compialut‘, •boukl lose no time to sti, tog
these admirable Pills • fair trial. Coughs, amide, asthma, or
shortness of breath, are also within the range of the sanative
powers of this very remarkable medicine. The come effected
by then Pills are not •uperecial or temporary, but complete
and ponnanont. They aro no wild as till" areollcadons, rid
he ghee tolth oonblonot to delicate lboosios and young