The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1881-03-01 00:00:00

Oddmnits.

"."
WOMILI'S Rivss—Marriage ceremonies.
Tits latest things in boots—Stockings
"I'm afraid that bed is not long enough for you," imid
lautllord to a .even-foot oast. ''Never Wad." be 0 mliad
0111 add two more feet to it when I get in."
SOME men are captivated by a woman's laugh, jug
moo men predict a pleasant day because the inn ebb ,ft
out clear for a moment, They forget the chi LICe
squalls.

Ax American contemporary publishes the in Ara wis:
paper for a prize assay on woman. It is this: kfte,
man Caine woman. And she has been after elm eve
A SAS Foamy/co Pun esettess.a certain rush stab,-
matt by eapiaining that "It Warn & typograpbic al et Tar in
the manuscript !"
Elcri•Lry LOVER: What dale tkiamaas, madam .ieeos:
What do I read in this letter '. At two eel° ck tn.
rooms,' will throw myself at your feet." Maden .oiselle
(who never loess presence of mind): You korvib le fwd.
ous old darling I It's simple enough...l,ra only nry corn
doctor!
A MAN who recently bought an estate in Ice!, ad was
of small stature, and very thin and wiry-,Ooking. Whop
he went down to see the place the tenants: turned oat to
invt•ct the new landlord, and sitar JIM d aperture began
te; discuss him. "Well, Pat, whit do u think of your
new lantflord ? " " Oh, begone, not much ! Why,
that little gossoon would be as hard to shoot as • jack.
inipel"
Ws hays received a story entitled 'f L Dark Not"'
which is respectfully declined. The arst clu tptor opens with
'lt is .midnight" This is ell right. It!: ; often midnight
—at least seven times a week ; but the at Oho: forgot to
add "and silence brooded over the sky." This is • fatal
Oversight Silence always broods over, 6 oi4 whoa it is
Midnight in works of dation—but now herd else. We
oan't print a story in which silence doom 3 brood at mid-
light —liorristorca
ll.'came in yesterday, and, taking ; twat at • desk,
aired, "Wei what shall, I write show i?" Tbe editor
. add bias he had better right about fads. When he ids a
mall scrap of loasuacript was found on I he deekt and the
fellow had apparently followed direction., for lw
"The •. editor hot lobe of ohosit."—Tit veer's- Pans
f , I
' was Mmdc woo
tie cellar. whowe you?" he
man, coo, to • tre," was Eire* .a' C.
i=lbum... itbl64ll4:444lobitougrdi 716
;1714).psi.sabot Os trait c 1044
Otplial.oaa„ XironfaatAlw kad .a teak zinc! ip y
:rati,e444/P-cs- f°r="l"ijitel.gazwl forayer
,ts pew wet be • - • -
.141 WO* I hoar oaa foot to the other aid
1! By alma! ). kawnosa yea sais howako
"lit Mu*" aid ooampasa **Pl* 60. '&2'l'
2_llOrst of higuitatina oloqatook 1 i. rit
woo* was a large
pr
aitosoWoroat;. te
. it paweent,
and As terrific outairsitst
&prod tins
rankark entirely Wolk ithOpueir mow INN
along to lattitow • , .
•
ricoodr
17644strpegt Giods).—"Erm aas to
8411 •• . PI/J1171.1.
' • • • a on:
r rill LW
&tistnse j
" C"".
* ReiV44.ril• •,!*hirltivatid oak• cles Effigq
&Lim' haPPlNeialid it ? • Much smaller coy.—" Drop 'so, and call se a
at?* •11.0sOwl ot ono!! ) tldsL
•

.

'
"ITA ' ; • . •
ICIXO UM SRUITNIT lIATI ' . •
itioano.r-Tb• wilds $2l Wen "Zomerzet;", •41 . Mad disoortred digging " tete*" bl • faid•
oigb rce4 TO Mat eats* Pediatrist+. - j •.:"" ' ' '
rod. (baltkaii.--`' 014 maki you tell end pktiig f*fi bag it vall take ma toilet to °Overlie) I" • "i ' - • ~
' (Na MO t!IIIV .#lll4 '
(The emotion. itili tud ''Olkit
...,,,...;. : " tad. isolt=lF.466l:ii levet be
• mole waste arklie." ," 7771 :M.Prlllg.

• --- • . .
- 1 file remises Mt velIM
• Uwe* fireginralliel iIW gems seoottile).,l"
tbser I Hi I
Pad. Aturning ow Ids beell.—_".Weil, what le It?' , Ruttio.—" You will get to meadow In iskrirt' 'art 0
11011 r.
re 4. —" And Irby, in tbs seam of common sense, couldiet
you tell 'me that sooner?" '
Itustic.—' Wityr'ew could I tell 'ee afore I sair tlnt
rate ye walked at, oh ? "
[The l'edestrap left wallang en his testy moodill,
I -
[From Punch.) .
l'IlE niURTH PART. .
Lord Randolph, of Woodcock, in big men speeches,
bag generally alluded to himeelf representing the part,' MI
"We.' An bon. member suggested that ;1
"a " to. _ the pronoun would make the description 2:
The' Wee Party."

I
I
i

,k IiKEI, \MN.
riOW to deal with Obitructiunista in futara.—Boyeott
-Na, Brand 'inn.

RICRIMINATION.
Coster (who had been having "words" with king Coachman): Why, when I knowed you afore, you was a-
aellin' fnvees ; an now yer've got a 'epectable sitivation
you don' know 'ow to be'ave yerself. ',Shamed of yer !I
[Delight of byktaindon. -

THE FORE! UMBER FOR BRIDPORT/I
I was quite broken down when some hours later Mr.
Weston rose and dropped a tear over the peacticatit
accomplished extinction of the Chiefships, swathe pro
mate Abolition of the Monarchy. Whilst Mr. Fowler
was shouting. I fancied I heard a peculiar snuffling from
the back bench behind ex.Ministera. I theright it was
301 y Mr, Wareon taking snuff ; but it seems he was atm-
;ling against his emotion. He was "touched," he telle
"aye, deeply touched," and though the effect of con-
tact dose not appear to have operated in the direction of
milling coherency to his ideas, the emotion does credit to
his heart. The lionic was touched too, but it Was Imam
the lifta rib, and it laughed as immoderately as if Mr.
Wartne instead of struggling with his emotion, had been
ohysically tickling it. Mr. Gladstone who is been la
aetter spirits to-night than for tho last fortnight past,
laughed immoderately as this bulwark of the British
3flestitution, sonff.box in hand, and partbsoloused
-wockethandkerchief in reserve, 4mented the ouilinsfnwey
,f old thugs, and the Ameriamislag of th• .
the introduction of such titles as President
President.

par
pitooin.
tam t utis

Vice-

CFront 'Port, Plgts.j.
I Tufo-IR is no-stump duty gbe pad on a " Dedavatittf'
i,..ve.v-, ..... .., .
' ILIA iminpauced in ate
,ogoottts UM .iir. I.stimelict-
Barone' *I obtained LoTal license to asinnisot name °,
flurdett-Cott ns In saition to bin own. LI is little un-
usual for a gentlezusu to have to thongs kis son Ms
maitismq but thst Is sot the wont at ft. ratithotwit
svirosa s, so !owl wealth, Itta What in ibut,hiu Um*
itutnediately apes in the thow.s. r