The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1880-03-02 00:00:00

WIRING FOR TILE 7'ELLGRA.II.

About as mean a trick as the pilfering of a penny frolll
a blind man's hat, has just been perpetrated at the
Greyhound, and the publicity given of the dastardly
act, it is hoped, will be the means of bringing the
offender to justice. There are depths of moral debase-
ment the mind is capable of reaching, that have often
been hinted at by our deepest thinkers and speculators,
but the mo.ives which led to the dishonest act of
stealing a sulr-cription box, placed to receive donations
for such a praiseworthy fund as that of Sir Howland
Hill's, I can scarcely understand. It is hard to
conceive a crime morecowanilr and contemptible than
this. One might exercise • little sympathy fur the
man who suffers the penalty of the law for "grabbing"
a loaf of bread for the support of a starving family,
or can understand the motives (without excusing them)
which induces an unlawful possession of a valuable
picture. The thief will probably not be troubled with
any qualms of conscience, as his reasoning powers are
too limited.

Talking of blind men's hats reminds me of the
exquisite street minstrelsy that has tainted the
atmosphere of our little town for a period extending
something over a month. The fearful manipulation
of the harp (not the one the monarch minstrel swept)
down to the plebeian penny whistle, has exasperated
the inhabitants to a degree painful to witness. No
wonder horses are frightened, but it is a wonder that
they (the bards) get an encouragement in the shape
of loose chanto now and then. But the worst of it is,
that the musical brethren think they are conferring
an untold blessing on the community, instead of
accepting the copper bribe, as it is intended, to pass
into the next street. The unfortunate men rejoice in
the belief that they are bringing out some of the finest
airs in "Creation," or "Messiah," whereas the
astonished pedestrian lingers to learn whether the
tune ground out is the "National Anthem" or
"Tommy, Make Room r but he ultimately walks away
with the solemn conviction that it was a pleasant
compound of each.
"Music bath charms "—but not sufficient to soothe
the ruffled feelings of those who attend St. Andrew's
Church. In November last., Mr. Editor, I drew
attention to the deplorable state of the "box of
whistles" at that edifice, and which unfortunately is
still in use. Had not the respect canon owned an
efficient choir leader, and a really good organist, the
musical portion of the services would have proved
miserable failures. The bellows of the organ are
broken winded, causing nnsteadiness in the tone, and
the boy at the "pump" will probably soon demand an
increase ..)f salary in consequence of the extra exertion
he puts forth to "get the wind up." The pipes are
wheezy and the stop "Ofaribel " very flat, several of
the keys are lters4e-eontbra, and the kepboard is
rendered thereby rather undulating. A stranger
entering the building would attribute the lack of soul
and pathos in the music to the inadequacy of the
organist, but the church-goers know better, for the
fact of it is, that it takes all the time of the organist
to travel over the hill and dale of the key.board, and
be has neither time or patience to spare for soul or
pathos.

I see the position of the hydrants has been indicated
on the fronts of houses about the town. I wonder
whether they have found all the hydrants yet
They have been so enveloped in mud and slush of late,
that the men who were so asskluowdy pecking the
811rfaccof the roads tor their whereabouts, were evidently
at a lose to discover where they were established. It
wouldn't be a "lark if they were wrongly indicated,
and the mistake remain undiscovered till some tine
night when they're wanted in a hurry

Dr. Edendiehn's lecture last week, was a good
one, but the subject chosen was one that few knew
anything about, and probably cared less. Most
people, I expect, take about &II much real interest in
the reformation ot Bohemia as they do in the society
for distributing paper-collars and top-boots to the
natives of Otaheite. The doctor's audience was very
sparse.

What are the Conservatives doing? They are
sniffing round In a noiseless sort of a way, and that
indefatigable busy-body, "gossip," hints, nay, boldly
asserts that they have held a meeting. They have
had a number of persons in their mind's eye to run for
a seat, they actually did adopt Major Yeatman, but
that gentleman has dropped out of the field altogether.
They have now made anothersearch, and I Ain informed
pitched upon a Mr. C. N. Warton, barrister, who, it
is said, will probably shortly pay the borough a visit.
I don't think Mr. Ralli need have any serious
apprehensions concerning his safety, as his supporters,
when the red-letter day arrives, %rill rally around as
they did at the last liberal victory.

The man who ordered, and ate, half-a-dozen fresh
eggs on Sunday last, and during the subsequent
excitement, consequent upon imbibing too freely in
'.01,1 Brewery" bitter, vented hi rage on an
inoffensive member of the feline family, is " lost to
night and memory dear," for he has not since been
heard of,

Had not a gentleman remembered that in his hurry
to catch the train he had left his rain-protector
behind, he would not have gone back to fetch it, and
would therefore not have discovered his set vent
indulging freely in the good things of this life. It was
a pretty M Rose? and no ODO could say it was
wrong to turn-her out upon the wide, wide world.

The M tyor in dealing with a case brought before
him on Tuesday lad., mnie a well-timed reference to
the di:graceful conduct of the junior members of the
111111 l ity on Sunday evenings in our streets. I was
glad to hear his worship invest our indefatigable
sergeant with powers to lodge complaints against such
uncivilised behaviour. Lads, scarcely in their teens,
who rejoice in the possession of a half-penny smoke,
and with difficulty raise the wind for the purchase of
a straight pint of fourpenny, I would strongly urge
to take care of themselves (in the public thoroughfare
at least,) or some fine night they will discover
themselves safe in time arms of a policeman.

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