The Press.
London, England, 1853-06-25 00:00:00

SATURDAY,

TALENTS AND TURKS.
Talents and Turks ! What a stormy breeze
Blows from this terrible brace of T's.
Always it threatens ugly weather
If Talents and Turks are seen together.
Be it in seven or in fifty-three,
Talents and Turks can never agree ;
Come they in peace, or come they in war,
Meddle to make, or meddle to mar;
Frenchman or Russian, pro or eon.,
Talents and Turks can never get on.
Be it a cans UM clearly,
Or a doubtful tale of suspicion merely,
Ever some magical mischief works ;
Talents can never get on with Turks.
When France was governed by NAP the First,
With a year of Talents was England cursed;
Our foreign affairs had a sad mishap,
For the Talents fought with the Turks and NU'.
Bravely the Straits were forced by DUCKWORTH ;
But little, alas! was the Admiral's pluck worth.
Like the army that followed the King of Fauns,
Like the couples that figure in country dance,
The British fleet and the British men
Sailed up the Straits, and sailed down again.
Turkey, and Egypt, and " Boneys Airs,"*
Sadly embroiled -our foreign affairs,
Till the British Lion his tale 'gan sink,
And the Talents went out in a smoke and a stink.
Round in a cycle all things run ;
Nothing is new beneath the sun.
Half a century well nigh o'er,
All the Talents are in once more.
ABERDEEN mounts on GRENVILLE'S box,
Little Joni sits in the place of Fox;
CLARENDON follows Little JOHN,
As Howica governed when Fox was gone.
The self-same elements, Talents all,
No matter the coinage, great or small ;
For, when Talents so many to rule combine,
Who raises the question of Miinz or Schein ?
When France is governed by NAP the Third,
The rule of the Talents continues absurd ;
Our foreign affairs become quite ridiculous,
For the Talents give up the Turks to NICHOLAS.
Oh! a pleasing smile has the Russian Bear,
And to doubt a friend's word is a dreadful affair;
For the Talents know, and their Bishop has said it,
That a man with a smile you may certainly credit.
Can a Premier fathom an Emperor's wiles?
Can ABERDEEN doubt when his NicaoLas smiles?
So his Lordship bowed as he took a note
Of the draught prepared for the Sultan's throat,—
Prepared and flavoured in crafty sort,
A mingled draught of bitters and Porte.
" Far be it from me," he said, " to bar
The gracious will of the gracious Czar;
Our talented conscience quite at its ease is
If your Majesty does what your Majesty pleases."
Talents and Turks, alas and alack !
Talents and Turks once more come back !
Ever the magical mischief works,
Talents can never get on with Turks.
For the temper of Talents is always such,
They must do too little or do too much.
They must venture their fleet in the Golden Horn,
To the Frenchman's boast and the Mussulman's scorn ;
Or deafen their ears to the warning call,
And wisely resolve to do nothing at all.
Come read my riddle, ye who can read,
Why Talents and Turks can never succeed ;
Come guess me my riddle, ye who can guess,
Why Talents and Turks are still in a mess.
Come they in peace, or come they in war,
Meddle to make, or meddle to mar;
Ever the magical mischief works ;
Talents can never get on with Turks.

• Jack's pronunciation of Buenos Ayres, tests " The Old Sailor."

AN ENGLISH "FINDING" UPON " IRISH FACTS."—A jury, composed of
his colleagues, have investigated the charge of sedition against Mr.
Kicoou, and have returned their verdict—" Not Guilty ; and he must
never do it again."

UNION IS STRZNOTH.—" The Coalition Government weak!" says
Mr FRANK CRIMEAN, " You forget the fable of the bundle of sticks."

A NEW TITLE POE LORD ABERDEEN.—The Doge Moroe(e)ini.

" People who live in glass houses should not throw stones ;" and
those who cannot get on without Wood should abstain from taxing
timber,