The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1881-06-14 00:00:00

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The Bristol Tories are going to cut out their Poole
brethren. They are not content with addresses of
oondolence to Lord Bowton and Sir Stafford Northoois,
bat they are going to have a memorial to the late earl
all to themselves. It le to take the shape of • hall, to
serve as offices for their association. This lit real
patriotism! It reminds me of • man I know, who,
whenever his wife's birthday comes round—which it
generally does about once a twelvemonth--presents her
with a cruet, • set of salver spoons, • chest of tea, or
something of the same oneful description. (Poor dear
sonl, she thinks it's all affection.) Utterly mean as that
in. I prefer it to the action of these Bristol politicians,
who, under the hypocritical pretence of commemorating
the memory of a great sun who has gone, would gull
the public of their money for the benefit of • few
nobodies still in the flesh.

"To what base nose" are not testimonialising and
memorialising rapidly degenerating ? A movement is
on foot for getting up a national testimonial to a Major
Somebody-or-another who invented the game of lawn
tennis—a kind of overgrown battledore and shuttlecock
affair ; and now I see the Antericans talk of putting up in
the Central Park a bronze state to Iroquois, the winner
of the Derby. The horse's victory certainly was• blood-
less one; I believe Archer did not have to use Wa spurs.
It has shown our Trabli-Arterilir cousins we can cheer
even a defeat. It has incr eased correspondingly the
good feeling between the two countries; and it is
another lesson to Johnny Bull that he mustn't fancy
himself everybody. Well, I think public monuments
may be erected to less deserving objects of admiration!
Whet do you think, Councillor Balaton?

The following remarks from an out-spoken writer in
• contemporary relative to little story-telling Randy-
Pandy's opposition to Mr. Bradlaugh taking his seat in
the House, will be read with an approving nod:—"
not the alleged oftence against • heavenly, but an earthly,
Sovereign that is the veritable cause ol the intolerant
howl raised on both sides of the House of Commons.
A striking and indeed laughable, exemplification of this
being the ease is to be found in the energetic efforts
made by Lord Randolph Churchill to keep the legis-
lature of the country pure and undefiled by the presence
of godless and improper persona. But suppose his
lordship's father, the Duke of Marlborough, were to die
to-morrow, would Lewd Randolph oppose the admission
of his eldest brother, the Marquis of Blandford, to the
House of Peers on the ground that he had notoriously
down in the face of Cod's seventh commandment, and
figured in the Divorce Court as having seduced the wile
of his friend Lord Aylesbury one of the most
graceful and discreditable suite ever beard in that
tribunal Some people allege that the word seducer is
wynonymoue with that of scoundrel; but, Of COWIN DO
one would venture to apply such aneçdihet to so aselted
• personage as a duke or marquis.

I would with all bemoan humility suggest to the
Watch Committee that before they order sew helmets
for our force, they should inspect a specimen of the
headgear just served out to the City (London) police.
The greet feature tit it is—.

A le sotbetted peek st the bark whit* elleoteally
protects the mope at UM IMO IN ibe I tom awl la
wet weather WU terry elf lb' rola ea be the amain al the
cope lasteeil el. as la the old Wool, allserlog It to drlp
between the coot ogler sad tits desk dews the weenie
art&

Everyone knows that sun•etroke arises not from the
sun's rays affecting the top of the bead, but the neck—
in fact it is an element—arf illustration of the elect of
the matador's dagger on the hull's spina column. Any-
thing that tends to guard against this is of course
worthy of not*. The other consideration is perhaps a
minor one, although, in spite of the known psrtiality of
bobbies for cooks, they doubtlessly object to
down their their necks. The helmets at present worn by oar
constables are neither of the slightest use in that respect
nor are they ornamental. They wobble upon the beads
of their wearers, and as has been too often recently
evidenced serve but as footballs for their assailants.