The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-08-30 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

An Illinois town prodo.es getting up an excursion to
raise foods t"r[a library for the gaol
-•• " '

•
A good•hearted, I;it partially deaf old lady le much
dlsturned by the talk about the Klckapdo Indians. She
doesn't see why anybody should kick a poor IndLau.

• - -
The death of John Stuart Mul -brings no the anec-
dote of the Philadelphia ouctsher who advertised certain
new books.. follows:—" Mid on Politivil Economy," "Ditto
on thsPloth."
The honest people of Pioche are now complaining of
the monotonous salutation of " Throw up your hands, you
son of .gun, and deliver up your money."
- - • • • • •

- The followiog in a eolnured advertieement, pot down
verbatim by the publisher'. clerk :—I !lab lost • parlsol in
ovine home from a bawl Colder night Whoaomebber find
the ..me la tletlarly quoted to leab him at Ws office and pay
for di. adwertisement.—Disen COLL

--- ---
A parent writes that he is annoyed and pained by
Ms young son stem Eng out at night, and asks a remedy
for this rapidly growing evil. There are several remedies.
The moat effectual is to compel him to wear patched
clothing.
Strange am it may seem, there is a Bird Hotel at
Boston. People going away for a time, we hoar, put out
their birds to board far the season at Heiche's bird-store' 9
Bowdoln-sguare, where, it is added, they are all under the
watchful eye of Mr. Holden, who knows how to keep an hotel
for his feabliered guests.
A bar-keeper in Virginia city, Nevada, posts up the
following "regulations" by his bar—' Drink plain drink.;
buy them at this bar ; eat a light lunch ; pay coin for what
you get , drink light but often; ask MI your Mends to drink;
don't beg toothpick.; don't try to spar the bar-keeper; keep
mix-shooters uncorked; don't steal the daily papers; be
virtuous, and yoa will be happy.
-

We are surprised to read to an exchange that "the
corn of Mr. Redman of Lycoming county in saran feet huh"
We pity Redman. We cannot imagine how he gets his boot
on over such a corn as that. It ill hardly likely, we should
think, that Redman himself is more than •11 feet high, and
If that is the cane that solitary corn of his must tower above
ht. head Of course Redman cannot enjoy tdmwelf In hot
weather We hope Redman will never Dave • bunion. A
man who grow, such monster corns would certainly develop
a bunion the size of a hoar barrel.
A painter being asked to estimate the cost of paint-
ing • certain house, drew forth pens and paper, and made
the following calculation.—" A naught is a naught . three
Into five twice you cant; 11l paint your howls for fifty
dollars."

Au orphan, tinder age, married hie female guardian
In Illinois the other day, and was compelled 0 get her
written consent to his marriage before the wedding could
take place.
- - • • •

A ch_aritable Union finds "a new method for raising
funds " In the announcement of the fair of • religious ann.
elation which reads as follows:—" The annual sale of the
Indies of the society will take piece on Thursday evening
next"

A Balmforth Avenue man was observed going up
home neon'', with • walking-stick twelve feet long, with •
heavy knob embelliihing the end. lie live. next door to •
young man who le 'naming to play "Rory O'Siore " on a pair
of cymbals.

It is reported that the faehiouable ladies of New
York are divided into hostile cliques in regard to what shall
be the prevailing style of shoe during the next season, some
going for the round toe, some for the square toe, others for
the pointed toe, and yet others for the box toe. We think
such a contention is wrong In Coto.

-
A New York magistrate fined • poor-looking fellow
twenty five dollars the other day, thinking he would be un-
able to pay it it would be a charity to lock him up. To every-
body's surpise the fellow drew one hundred and forty.seven
dollars from him pocket to pay It The magistrate then pro-
ceeded to remonstrate with the victim on his recklessness in
going about the streets drunk, with such • Num of money on
his person, winding up with the remark, that it was a great
wonder he had not been robbed. "The duce a bit of differ-
ence can I see," quickly and spitefully replied he. "between
bob' robbed in the street and bein' robbed here."

A SPIRE-LIKE DAMSEL. —Tall Men like short women;
abort men, II th.y like tall women, are referred to a spire-
like damsel in Burlington, lowa, Shale six feet seven and a
half Inches In stature, and is still growing She is further
described as "good-looking," and, what is still better, as
" rich" Yet the swains of lows look but shyly at this
towering virgin, for U anyone of them could muster courage
to propose to her, how could he, if accepted, chastely salute
her without getting upon a chair or c tiling for a ladder?