The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-11-08 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

Ibirectulted love fa said to be the toothache of the
soul, but • little gold filling =Lally stops It.

Ootuwel (to witneer)—" Now, air, what is the charac-
ter of the plaintiff In this unit?" Witness—" Her character
Ii slightly matrimonial" Couneal—" What do you mean by
a slightly matrimonial character I" Witnees—" She's been
monied serge llama '
I Gimped her tiny hand in mine; I vowed to shield
her from the wind, and from tate world'e *old storm. She set
her beauteous oyes on me, and with her little lips she
" An umbrella will do.. well."

The man whose hair turned white in • single night
I. surpassed by the Boston girl who lost ban completely In
one dance.

Smith, the American poet-lenrege, received an order
to write a birthday sounet for • gentleman's wife, woo
anclosed ninepence In stampa. The following lithe result :
" Dearer still and dearer coal,
8o thou vowed every daft
0 my love, my Ufa, my soul!
How the money melts away I"
A judge at Montgomery, Alabama, recently inter
meted a vary fi twerp young orator with, Hold on, hold on,
my dear sir I Don't go any higher! You are already out of
Ike Jurisdiction of tido court I'
A sensitive American gentleman says that to kiss a
roepobeeked fell and find your month filled with Venetian
red, and she growing pale on it, is truly awtaL
Here is • love story. "Angelica, is anybody lb•
crourthe on ye Inquires an anxious young man. "
yes," said Augelitm, "they's • feller kinder sorter couriin'
on me an' kinder sorter not, but rather more kinder sorter
not than kinder sorter. There ere plenty of that sorter."
A mercantile firm has repaired a letter from a oor
respondent in Hississipl, saying Gents, I am Due you 26
dollars 10.10, cents, which pleas hold up on me a few day.!
happen to • misfortune this day I weeks ago it I had to kW
• man In Self Deimos which my lower fee cost me 600,40 C
which throws me behind • little I am ail dem new."
•

"The oompaoy that owns this road shall newer get
another cent of my money," said an angry lady on a train.
" Hoe can you help yourself 1 You've got to travel on the
road, or move to some other part of the country," eneerlngly
remarked the guard who had offended her. "Why."
retorted the lady, "1 ll pay my fare to you, and then I'll be
bound that the company will never get the money."
A young lady upbraided an admirer for his flirtations
during a long ohmic*. 'You are too bad to be pardoned,"
alms said ; but If I discard you I shall punlah m)sell moat,
and no I will Ignore what to past, and enjoy your society as
mach a.! can while I live, for when I die I shall never NO
you any more—l am going to heaven !"

- -
A writer in a very creditable literary raigazbie re-
cently started In Buffalo thinks the name of that city it in
no way connected with the buffalo. "Th. first elation," he
" wsre French from Canada; and here they watered
tbeir hero. In the Bksisquada ; It was the place where they
led the bowl d raw."

An enterprising enabalmer recently presented himself
at Fort Klamath, where Captain Jack and the other hiodoc
prisoners were conflned.and stated that be bad made a bargain
with Captain Jack for his body, showing • ritocls which
proved that tbe purchase money had been already paid. It
was suggested by an officer that the body of Captain Jack be•
longed to the Government, whereupon the embalmer
threatened legal prof:seeding' in the civil courts, but ulti-
mately coneloded to open • oorrespondence on the subject
with the Secretary of War. The exhibition of Captain Jack
after death would doubtless pay extremely well; hence the
application for his body.

ORGAN GILIWDZILN. —Sitya an American nervous man
—Whoeverr heard of oho of them dying in a small-pox hos-
pital, or of meningitis, or catching typhoid fever, or of poll
evil, king's evil. or any other evil that attacks decent folks /
Whoever heard of one otthem being lost at ma, or smashed
tip by a railway collision or falling from a scaffold, or getting
drowned while on a Rabin/ tacnrslon, or being killed by an
explosion of ketoses)* or g yeerine, or shooting three fingers
off with a rifle, or being kicked to death by. musket! All thew
occident, are constantly occurring and killing somebody, bat
no man grinder to of the number. At lead we are seer, I.
say wo never heard of any.