The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1874-05-16 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A grocer in Quincy, Illinois, hen donated the city
forty-one dozen had eggs, to be us d in keeping women
lecturers beyond the city limits.
A young man was recently married to a girl who
had refused him eighteen times. lie wishes now be hadn't
asked her more than seventeen times

...... •—••
A man of the world says that "about the only use
of the wife of the period is abolished by the invention of a
piano-playing machine."
An American literary gentleman writes :—"There
ix but phew things on the face of the earth more worthless
than a poodle, and yet lam glad there is poodles, for if there
was lad there ix some people who wouldnt have cony object
in living, and have nothing to buy."
The remark of a severe lady, who says that male
is .ly mule spelled wrong, is supplemented by the New
Orlea to, Picappiae with the declaration that, according to the
Latin authorities, a woman is mutter.
"The human fiend in plum-coloured kids sib, spit
tobacco on my hat is marked for death," says John Lane in
an advertisement in a Memphis paper.
A citizen of Chicago tells us that he recently tra-
velled two thousand miles in Ohio, and that everybody he
met called potato "toter," except one young lady, who called
it "pertater."
A New York telegram states that further fighting
has occurred between the rival factions in Arkansas, and
that several persons have been killed and wounded.
The St. Louis Globe speculates concerning the
obituary of the future. We append one or two specimens
Charles Pupker, 311115., cremated July 9, 1876. For wife)
above see third pickle-bottle on next shelf. Burnt up Sep-
' tenther 10,1879. Both were put up by the Alden Corpse Cre-
mating Company. None genuine without signature.
A man describing a Western Hotel SaPja- -
" You Can sit there and think that you woulitnt be surprised
to behold Cleopatra in her barge, with 'a bonnet off her Jib,'
come sailing through the room on the placid bosom of an
ocean of ox-tail soup, and eating a pearl as big as a water-
melon."
"How much better it would have been to have
shaken hands and allow it was all a mistake," said a Detroit
judge. Then the.lion and the lamb would have .aid down
together, and white-robed peace Would have fanned you
with her wings and elevalied you with her smiles oi approba-
tion. But no ; you went to clawing and biting, and rolling
in the mud, and here y. are. It's five dollars apiece.
- •

A pretty young Americaness, whose Christian name
is Anna, on receiving a cigar from a yowig gentleman who
had not pluck enough to say he wished to marry her, twirled
it Was fully beneath her nose, and looking archly at him,
popped the question thus—" llave-Anna? "
There is a young lady in love in New York who is
so indolent that she does nothing but a t and bold her hands,
and when she gets tired of this, has a very accommodating
beau who holds them for her.
Mark Twain says that he went to Morruondotu
with thn idea of exterminating polygamy. "But," he adds,
my heart woo miser than my head. It warmed towards the
poor, ungainly, and pathetically ' homely ' creatures : ant, se
I turned to lade the generous moisture in my eyes, I said,
'No—the man that marries one of them has done an act of
Christian charity which entitles him to the kindly applause
of mankind, rad their harsh censure; awl the man that mar.
ries sixty of then) has done a deed of open-handed generosity
that is indeed sublime e "
In the fairest village of Western New York, the
• " culled possess," in emulation of their white brethren,
formed a debating society for the purpose of improving their
minds by the discussion of instruetive and entertaining
, topics. The deliberations ol the society were presided over
I by a senersble darkey, who performed the duties with the
I, utmost dignity peculiar to his colour. The hubject for die-
; cussion on the occasion of which we write with, Which am
I its mudder oh de chicken—de hen wet lay de egg, or its hen
I wet hatches de chick?" The question was warmly debated.
and many reasons pro and eon were urged and combated by
the excited disputants. Those in favour of the latter pro-
position were evidently In the majority, and the president
made no attempt to conceal that his wrop.a Wes were with
the dominant party. At lergth an intelligent darkey arose
from the minority bide, and begged leave to state a proposi-
tion to this effect " dpose," said he, "dot I set one dozen
duck's eyes under a hen, and 'lcy batch ; which em
tnn.t.'er, sit, dnek or de Wu TI, a was a peer, was well
•I
11/,t vv. n staggering the presi-
a.t. wir 1••; t' •• -1 the argument, but had
1•11.. f.. 1 ~1 aitlt :ut a struggle
of t• r cowitati:, -1. F.•;.at.,10114 Lis wool a few minut
hri Pict strildi Risiu„; from his chair In all the
1 .•1
1.0 . • riordy, amareteced—" Ducks am
Atietes ou de questfcm dst-efort
lei, (.-1••:.. •id :" And dolt he di.), ta the edmpletv over-
throw el the opponent&