The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-02-01 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A Chicago poet begins an apostrophe to the ocean
with " Prodighms dampness ,"

We learn that the letter-carriers in the New York
Putt °filen will icon receive a new uniform. It will be highly
appropriate, congaing of a coat of mail.

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A. Detroit paper acconnte for the intemperance of a
prominent senator by the fact that be was brought up on the
bottle.

The latest feminine justification for homicide comes
from New Orleans, where Mrs. and Miss Ingraham are ex-
cused for shooting at one .I.ihn Kaiser in the open street on
the ground that he had committed a "breach of etiquette."
A pumpkin pie ten feet in diameter, and four feet
deep, was the thief of a eslifornla dinner recently.
TV enjoyment of the guests was marred somewhat by •
child fal lag into the pie and drowning before their eyes.
A New Orleans paper says :—Stanley stole the idea
which led to the title of his hook, Row I found LiringVone,
from a letter recently published in the (A:nein/We (iazette,
entitled, " liow I made Soft Soap."
A fastidious Connecticut gentleman preferred to pay
6,000 dollars on a breach of promise rather than marry •
young lady who did not spell correctly.

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Some people say it in dark-haired people that marry
soonest, hut elderly spinsters matutsio tlut it le the light-
headed eon.

An American paper mays :—" Since the abolition of
the gallows In lowa there has not been a murder In the
State " Thus goes to show that some people till other people
merely for the pleasure of being hanged.

People who believe the Eitories about intelligent angs
will read with pleasure that a lost dog In Norfolk, having
seen his masters advertisement in one of the local papers,
promptly went home.

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A Muscatine clergymea is sp.aking against the re.
eatalolehment of the death penalty to lowa. He says he
does not want his congregation thinned out too fast.

An American paper rays a society bas been formed
In New York, not before It Is wan.e I, called the Ladles'
Anti-ambltions- to-figure-la -the-newspapers-wlth no-useful-
result-and-to the neglect-of }our- own -domestic -duties So-
ciety.

A Western genina ham an idea which is an idea.
He proposes to smiles church se.its on pivots no th it the
devout may more conveniently exareloe the Witt, of the
heck seats. This device would greatly increase the value of
church property, for then the pews would all be made alike,
well situated and of equal desirability.
_ _

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A Yankee dined recently at Brixton, where they
had matrimony pudding with a very flue wine sauce for
dinner, lie got through with the isuce, when mine host
kindly Inquired, Will you have some more of the pudding?.
No, thanree," was the reply; " but I will thank you for •
little more of tho intrnent."

One of the clerks in a prominent banking !home
having an Intimation that it was proposed to dispense with
his services, boldly entered the managers private room. sad
said, Mr. —, I have made up my mind that the interests of
this bank require that either you or myself should knee its
service. As you are the leading man of the bank, and have
• large family to support, I have concluded to leave you in
your position, and retire myself."

A Terre Haute boy of tender years and to sr:, has
drowned seventeen kittens, tied pax to the tars of nine
dog., brushed his father's new silk hat against the grain, and
blown up • mt canary with a fire cracker all In the last
mouth, and still hi, fond mother Intends him for the
At a California fair several bottles of strained honey
were exhibited, when a man put a bottle of castor-01l with
the rest. Several old ladles sampled It. with the same Cr
salt The opinion of all who tried It was that the hen who
laid it wee a fraud. One old lady said that even the been had
got to elmatmg n ,w-a.days.

A young lin al editor of an Arkanpas pawr dnea an
obittuury notice thus —"The: sliter angels of the lovely
deceased pining at her absence from their .heavenly abode,
floated down on ewelled pinions, and bore her hack to her
native !kb... She was a good worker, and WU known from
the Greet River of the West to the Eastern Seas as a pre-
eminently lovely type of the Sundry-school teacher and
charwoman in the weekdays,"

A re4olution has been submitted to the Manchester
School BoArd, for the appointment of two women visitors in
special district, mitts a slew of ascertaining whethor they
proved efficient. The motion was seconded by Miss Becker.
the office committee, it was stated by the chairman, had
had the matter under discu-stm and were of opinl.ls that
they could not make any proper arrangement fur the em-
ployment of women in the office at preset t. An amend-
ment was accordinuly carried, referring the quest' m back to
the committee The sites committee are considering the
desirability of hiring a room for the purposes of a school for
the newspaper street boys to accommodate between 100 and
150, situated within a qusater of a mire oVlSPExchange.