The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1875-03-20 00:00:00

SATURDAY, MAR. 20, 1875.

[From Punch.]
THE LADIES' UNIVERSITY.
(AS IT SHOULD DE.)
SCENE— The Examination Room of the University.

PROFESSOR PUNCH seated at table, writing. 'itter Candi-

date for Matriculation.

Professor. My dear young Lady, pray take a chair.
First let me say that I am glad to see you have
adopted a very proper costume in which to present
yourself before the Authorities. A plain stuff gown,
a neat cap, and a brown holland apron. Nothing
could be better.

Candidate (seating herself). I am delighted to have
gained your approbation, Professor. My choice was
regulated by the reflection that I intend to work and
not to play.
Professor. Well said! And now, are you desirous
of becoming a Member of this University?
Candidate. I am. I covet the honour.
Professor. It is necessary to ask you a few ques-
tions. What do you consider to be the !` Rights of
Woman ?"

Candidate. She has but one right, which involves
many duties—the right to be the Sweetness and
Light, the Grace and Queen of home.
Professor. Very good. You would not wish to sit
in Parliament?

Candidate. When my household duties were over,
I should not object to an occasional seat in the Ladies'
Gallery—that is, supposing my husband were a mem-
ber of the House fond of addressing the Speaker.
Professor. A very Proper reply. You do not wish
to be a doctor ca lawyer?
Candidate (laughing). Certainly not. My ambition
would be quite satisfied were I a good nurse and an
efficient accountant.
Professor. An efficient accountant? _ _

-
Candidate. Yes—that I might be able to check the
butcher's book.

Professor. Very good, indeed Now do you know
the chief object of this University?
Candidate. I believe so. It is to elevate the art of
Cooking into a Christian duty. As Mr. BIICKILASTER
said the other day at York, Our health, morality,
social life, and powers of endurance depend very much
on our food, and if it be a Christian duty to cultivate
the earth, and make it brillg forth food both for man
and beast, it is equally a Christian duty to make that
food enjoyable and wholesome by good cooking."
Professor. You are quite right. I too will quote
from Mn. BucKMASTER'S very excellent speech. He
said :

'So long as people prefer dirt to cleanliness and drink to
food, and who know nothing, and don't care to know any-
thing, of those processes and conditions of laws which God
has ordered as the condition of health, and without health
there oan be no happiness, so long as this ignorance and the
prejudices which flow from it exist, all efforts except teach-
ing will be comparatively useless. " " * No law can prevent
people from eating improper and unwholesome food, or ac-
cumulating heaps of filth in the dark corners of rooms, or
compel them to open their 'windows or wash their bodies.
Nothing but knowledge or a better education in common
things will ever bring about these desirable results. It is for
'these and many oilier reasons that I am most anxious about
the education of girls. The future of this country depends
on their education. Every girls' school should have a
kitchen, with such appliances as they would be likely to
have in their own homes, and every young lady should be
able to prepare, from first to last, a nice little dinner."
Do you agree with Mr. BucKmAsTER ?
Candidate. Most cordially. I think Mr...Bucx-
MASTER deserves the thanks of every man, woman,
and child in the United Kingdom.
Professor. And so do I. What classes do you wish
to join?

'Candidate. The Cooking Clan, the Dress and
Bonnet Class, the Furniture-Judging Class, and the
Domestic Economy Class. After I have passed
through these, I should very much like to finish my
University career by undergoing a final course of
Music, Painting, and Modern Languages.
Professor (signing certificate). I have much pleasure
in informing you that you are now a Member of the
Ladies' University. You have passed your prelimi-
nary examination most creditably.
Candidate. A thousand thanks, Professor. •
[Rises, curtsies, and exit to join the Cookery Class.
Professor. A sensible girl that!
[As the Scene closes in PROFESSOR PUNCH stnifingly returns
to his work.

MONEY !—An attorney in Minnesota, who had
received from another State an account to recover,
after acknowledging the receipt of a letter of instruc-
tion, exclaims, "So it is money you want? Money! I
have a faint recollection of having seen it when I Wes
a small boy. I believe it was given me by my uncle ea
Christmas Day. But it has been so long since I 11..e/a2
seen any that I quite forget it. Why, sir, we Uvei
without money. You're behind tha times. It is a
relic of barbarism—of ages past. A few small pieces]
can bs seen in our Historical Society's collection,
where they are exhibited as curiosities."
EMIGRATION IN 1874. —The annual return 1:13r
the Marine Department of the Board of Trade of tV
numbers of persons who left the United Kingdom la
the year 1874 has been issued by the Board of Traci°.
The total number was 241,014 in 1874, against 310,612
in 1873. • Of these 116,490 were English, 20,286 Scotch,
63,396 Irish, 38,465 foreigners, and 5,277 not distill'
guished. There went to the United States 56,3881
English, 9,250 Scotch, 48,136 Irish, 30,185 foreigner°o
and 4,202 not distinguished; to the North America°
Colonies 15,224 English, 2,766 Scotch, • 2,378 Irish,
4,704 foreigners and 18 not distinguished; to the AIISA
tralian Colonies 36,555 English, 7,050 Scotch, 01911
Irish, 1,322 foreigners, and 55 not distinguished; to
other places 8,323 English, 1,220 Scotch, 646 Tria,.ll„'
2,251 foreigners, and 1,002 not distinguished. Of ti-i"
total number of passengers in 1874, 39,251 were cab.
and 201,763 steerage,' but the returns do not distingula°
between bond fide settlers and Ordinary travellers.
MARITIME LOSSES FOR JANIJARY.—The •
tion of the Bureau Veritas publishes the list of in„,el
time disasters in the month of January, 1875. 11300
number of sailing vessels lost was 190, of which.
were English, 20 French, 17 German, 11 Norwer
9 American, 6 each Danish, Greek, and Italian, 4
trian, 3 each Spanish and Russian and 1 each Dur
Siamese, and Swedish; and two of which the nr`---
ality was not ascertained. Among them are cony
seven vessels missing and supposed to have fount
The wrecks of steamers were 18 in all, of which 13 v•-3,.
English, and 1 each American, Chilian,
French, and Portuguese. One is included in the r
of which nothing has ever been heard since it

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port.
MR. BRIGHT ON THE USE OF THE
letter has been handed to the Birmingham Pa)
written by Mr. John Bright so far back as 1872,
which has not before been published. It is in an
to one asking him his opinion of flogging for
of violence. Mr. Bright doubts the wisdom of
brutality with brutality. He continues: "I am
sure that a woman who has been ill-treated bY
husband would wish him to be flogged, or would 1
by it if after the punishment he is to live with
again. Their last state would probably be worse
the first. Our laws have been savage enough ;
savage, perhaps, than those of almost any other Co7„.f
tian nation, and after long experience of their savag'
we are gradually adopting a less barbarous system.
do not believe in the good of cruel or debasing i-
ment, and therefore I should require to recOnsider
question you put to me before 1 could accept your
elusions. J suppose drink has more to do with
offence of wife-beating than any other cause. Pe:
seem useless in deterring persons who drink too • t
from any crime to which the passion of the lrora
excites them.'
A°
RATHER UNLUCKY !—A Paris fashion W
~„a
says :—" Last year a friend of mine, not well
in French customs, went in a low-necked dress
dinner-party. It can be done in England, butio
France dinner dresses are always in demi-toile,sol
or pointed, and long sleeves, with a bow or
the hair. Mrs. A., therefore, thought herself '01,7f
undressed. She wrapped a lace shawl quicld,Y
her shoulders, but still, as Toole would say, sue,eg
not happy. She inwardly resolved never again to
_4l
a low-necked dress while in Paris. A few eve
after this she was verbally invited to spend the e:iss
ing with an English friend. The children were Pio
to have a 'hop.' My friend, profiting by her silt
lesson, went in a high dress to the children's hoP
was not a child, and she was not going to hop
~
her great mortification, she found every lady Prr""
wearing low-necked dresses."
i:A
BURIED IN A SNOW DRIFT.—The guard- es
the auberge of Mont Chasseral, in the Cantoe
Berne, was recently buried beneath a snoW 'of
with his establishment and goats—to a dePtlloo
thirty feet. Three Powerful fellows were sent OA
Nods, in the district of Neuveville, to look afterthe„,til
of the guardian. They cleared away the snoW
they reached the chimney, when they heard thededf
prisoned guardian singing cheerily. "You arenot t ere
then?" cried out one of the visitors. "No : whs yoll
you doing above there 7" "We wanted to see lectlf
were still alive." "My goats and I are Inr
well." "Must we open a passage for you?' ol
you like, but I don't want anything." The reswer
the conference was that men set to work to et 08
passage through the snow, and soon liberate ,00
prisoner, who accompanied his friends down to
INCOMBINABLE ELEMENTS.—First 3,; 4
cap.-
dent: "What are you sighing for, Jack ?”---11,0;
ditto: "Ugh! I was thinking of that infernal C". 11
try Cram to-morrow, and what a deuced prett9 b-
s,,w in Gower Street just now! . "—Punch. 30
SEARCH FOR SHAKESPEARE'S PAPERS."-/ ty
Halliwell, in his lately-published "Illustrations 0 e
Life of Shakespeare, said that the last chal the
finding Shakespeare's papers was to search behif
panellings of the old house of Lady Barnarn4lir
grand-daughter and last lineal descendant of T'g,tpll
speare (says the Academy). This house is Ahlityer
Abbey, Northampton, which belongs to Lord AI
stone' and is tenanted by Dr. Thomas Prichsrcid
Mr. Furnivall's instance, Lord Overstond poro",,
Prichard have most kindly given leave that the
,°-800,
may be made this season, at such time and 111 10'
manner as shall be convenient to the tenant. lb°
Halliwell has generously undertaken to be,arbv
expense of the search, which will be condueteattjeoc?
architect under his direction; and if success S
his enthusiastic endeavours to exhaust every P°B tb
chance of discovering traces of our great P°e"
result will be only what the seeker deserves.
.
A HINT ABOUT SLEEPING.—The peril-110
habit of breathing through the mouth while 01°,40
or waking is very hurtful. There are many' Pe's",/,it.,
who sleep with the mouth open and do not kn°,oo
They may go to sleep with it closed, and awalf,eeci 0°
it closed; but if the mouth is dry and Parc' ore,°
waking, it is a sign that the mouth has bee
ll 0/0
during the sleep. Snoring is a certain sign ~1,010
habit should be overcome. At all times, excell'Aroli
eating, drinking, or speaking, keep the mouth PretV
closed, and breathe through the nostrils, all
with a firm determination to conquer. The PO
are the proper breathing apparatus—not the La° it
THE COMMISSION ON THE FACTORY a
,„4
a conference of teachers of the East Lallc.,gtr,
Elementary Teachers' Association, held at AcerTgill3
on Saturday evening, a resolution was passed deco",
that experienced teachers ought to be appointed f
Royal Commission to inquire into the workilg,ko
factory and short time acts and that the vi
Teachers' Association should take steps to securkei
same. The new provision for half-timers to 0;001
alternate days was condemned, and the require_,lrt
40 per cent, of scholars to be presented above Str,
4 was declared impracticable. A memorial
Education Department was adopted.
slrd
THE CHANNEL TUNNEL.—After an a
tion of the maximum tariffs proposed to be pr(
by the company and the documents relatiie tot
liminary survey, the French Parliamentary COll3 boo'
have expressed an opinion that the concession ° cof
be granted with this proviso—that, if the tunne'a
pany lowers its tariffs, it is not to increase thou d 111
until after a lapse of five years. On the other
stated that the English are prepared to push th° A
forward actively, and that they think it call
pleted in seven years. They propose to lay doireitt
lines of rails instead of two; and are in favour jii
formation of a French company, the object heel
avoid international difficulties. They offer, 111490
to supply all the funds necessary-200 mil11:0m
francs or mote— on condition that.the Governra,f
not interfere, and that the enterprise assumes
commercial and industrial character. il3
A SUMMING Ur !—TheParliaments of the J
dare thus defined by a New York journal publis
French. Versailles Assembly—an assemblage Of /14,
men, so anxious for the good, of their countryte
are not afraid of injuring her in their lesl--k"
Napoleonic axiom, trop de ale. The German.,
stag—a class of students who often quarrel v"
professor, but always obey him. The Englisl
meat—excellent manufacturers, who have 1(
given up working for exportation. Hmigardl
ber —hussars turned shepherds. American
—rare fellows with the pistol, Italian Cl
Garibaldians in session. Spanish Cortes—fl
absent. Honolulu Parliament— not more -
than the others.

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HEALTH OF SCOTLAND.—The
ral is able to present a favourable return for t
of February in regard to the eight principal
Scotland. The deaths registered declined fl
in December, and 3,564 in January to 2,737
ary, this last number being 67 under the
average for the last ten years, allowance
for increase of population. The deaths ol
under five years of age constituted 41 per Se'
total mortality. The zymotic (epidemic al
gi us) class of diseases caused 17 61per cet!l
whole mortality. Scarlatina continues to
_ _

ReOstra'

beim

ot:d
t.
5,1

decline, there Lieing but 140 deaths from it,
cent, of the month's mortality. There wire
from smallpox-8 in Aberdeen and 4in Pais]
deaths from inflammatory affections of the r(,
organs were 775, or 28'3 per cent of, the v‘i,
tality. Besides which there were 320 deaths
sumption, or 117 per cent of the mortality,
were also 136 deaths from whooping cougl
deaths from croup. There were two suicides
_
inter]

frollit;
Ii
a. 01

deaths caused by the direct effects of 1,
The death of a widower, formerly a 'night
was registered as occurring at the age of 1`
The births in the month—viz.' 3,264 showecio
but the 588 marriages were 31 under the •
average
A FANCIFUL WASP'S NEST.—At Ann(
the residence of Joseph Clibborn, Esq., near
the gardener lately found a strange-1001/
suspended from a slender branch of an appi
was nearly spherical, about as large as an
sized cannon-ball, and was streaked all over wilot
briatest colours. He soon discovered it was for
nest, but for some time was puzzled to accOrneol
prismatic tints and singular formation. .41-`,l so
the problem was solved. Mr. Clibborn hit"
time before, procured a quantity of lo"
" shavings " of different colours—red, blue'
yellow, and white—which he flung over hi-,.stor,b„
berry beds, to protect the fruit from the Aboocid
birds and insects. A colony of wasps:, inøty
being "warned off," made frequent volts offty/
coloured streamers, and, with singular ingen,
clueing the paper to pulp, soon carried it torkYo ec.llool
construction of their nest, which quickly gfftie
the united efforts of quite an army of 4," ,gorre
artists. The most wonderful part of the" olotiV
the regularity, of those undulating lines of.se.
they were carried around from side to3ool
curious nest has been preserved intact, sou_lgito
an object of much interest and wonder to
Anner Mille.—Gardener's Magazine.

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