The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1880-10-16 00:00:00

glisattancous .nteltigtnte.

HOME, FOREIGN, AND COLONIAL.

THE BURIALS ACT.—The Bishop of Oxford, speak-
ing at the luncheon held in connection with the re-
opening of Hungerford parish church, referred to the
Burials Act. His Lordshipssid he felt sure the clergy
would look upon it as the outcome of a series of
struggles. There would have been
.no Burials Act
required but from the fact that Dissenters existed,
and he exhorted the clergy therefore so to use their
personal influence among. their friends and acquaint-
ances that they might gain the goodwill and fellow-
ship of those who thought differently, and who were
at present outside the Church. He asked them to
act with forbearance in asserting their authority over
those persons who desired liberty in such a matter.

THE DISASTER AT NAINA TAL.—" S." writes to
The Time 3 :—" On the arrival of the first telegiam
relative to the Naini Tal disaster, from the 'Army
List ' and other sources records of some of those who
lost their lives were given to the public ; but one of the
• prominent sufferers, beyond his surname, has as yet
received no notice. The Rev. Alexander Robinson,
chaplain of Moradabad, who lost his life by the second
landslia, was on short leave of absence from his own
station?' Not sheltering in the Assembly Rooms, with
zeal and.energy he joined the "working party" and
perished, leaving six young and motherless children.

- THE JEWS.—According—
to an estimate of the New
York Journal of Commerce, the number of Jews in
the world slightly exceeds seven millions, distributed
as follows :—Russia, 2,621,000; Austria, 1,475,000;
Germany, 512,000; Turkey, 100,000; the Nether-
lands, 70,000; Great Britain, 60,000; France' 50,000;
Italy, 35,000; Spain and Portugal, 4,000; Sweden
and Norway, 2,000. There are half a million in the
United States, of whom about 70,000 live in New
York. In Asia there are about 200,000, of whom
20,000 are in India and 25,000 in Palestine. Nearly
100,000 reside in Africa, the bulk of whom are to be
found in Algiers.
A MODEST REQUEST.—Mary. "Oh, if you please,
ma'am, the young person next door, her sister's
husband's cousin, ma'am, is down below, and he says
would you have any objection to me calling the young
person over the wall, 'cause followers ain't allowed at
her place ?"—Judy.

BRITISH WOOL TRADE FOR THIRTY YEARS.-With
the British Trade Journal of Oct. Ist was issued an
admirably executed chart showing the total weight of
wool shipped to the United Kingdom, the amount sent
through the United Kingdom to other countries, the
weight of foreigu and colonial woolsold in hoate manu-
factures, the principal source of importation, and the
amount from each, the value at intervals of the export
of woollen Manufactures, and the average price for
unwashed Australian wool—all for thirty years, from
1850 to 1881 inclusive. ,

THE VOLUNTEERS AND SMOKING.—The following.
circular has been sent to all the officers commanding
regiments of Volunteers in the Northern Division:
—"Assistant Quartermaster General's Office, York,
September 27, 1880.—The Lieutenant General Com-
manding has noticed with regret instances on the part
f Volunteers of the improper and unsoldierlike habit
of smoking in the street when under arms, and pro-
ceeding to the places of assembly of their regiments,
and also when walking in uniform. He trusts that
commanding officers will endeavour to put a: stop to this
practice, and point out to those under their command
that they shoniti conform to the regulations applicable
to the 'regular troops, which forbid smoking in the
streets--Queen's regulations, Section vi., par 37.---By
order (signed)--R. B. GILLESPIF, Assistant Quarter.
master General.

MARK TWAIN ON (J-ERMAN.—Mark Twain says that
some German words are so long that they have a per-
spective. Observe these examples : Freundsthafts-
bezeiglingen, Dilettantenaufdringleitclikeiten, Stadt-
yercdnetenversammlungen. These things are not
words; they are alphabetical processions. And they
are not rare. ,One can open a German newspaper any
time and see them marching majestically across the
page, and if he has any imagination he can see the
banners and hear the music, too. They impart a
magic thrill to the meekest subject. I take a great
interest in these curiosities. Whenever I come across
a f?,-ood one I stuff it, and put it in my museum. In
this way I have made quite a valuable collection.
When I get duplicates, I exchange the,m with
other collectors, and thus increase the variety
of my stock. Here are some specimens which I lately
bought at an auction sale of effects of a bankrupt brie-
a-bric hunter: Generalstaatsver•rdnetenversammlun-
gen, Alterthumswissenschaften, Kinderbeavahrung-
sanstalten, Unabhaengigkeitserklearungen, Wickler-
herstellungsbestrebungon,Waffenstillstandsunterhand-
lunger. Of course when one of these grand mountain
ranges goes stretching across the printed page it adorns
and ennobles that literary landscape, but at the same i
time it is a great distress to the new student, for t
blocks up his way ; he cannot crawl under it, or climb
the
rib
over it, or tunnel through it. So he resorts to The
dictionary for helT, but there is no help there.
i
dictionary must draw the line somewhere, so t leaves
this sort of words out.

NOVEL ANTICIPATIONS.—The Sour Gooseberry.. By
the Author of Cherry Ripe.—Between Two-Paving
Stones.—By the Author of Under Two Flags.—
Photographed at the Creation. By the Author of
Taken at the Flood.—Old Boots. Sequel to Dead Aren's
Shoes.—Walk to Skye. By the Author of Run to Earth.
—The Black Bottle.—A companion to The Love that
Kit ls. Punch .
CURIOUS EPITAPHS.—In an article on " Curious
Epitaphs," in Chambers's Journal, the writer says
"The epitaph on the driver of one of the Aylesbury
coaches was so managed as to bring in the coaching
terms journey, whip-hand, way-bill, account, drive,
stage, and 'shew you the way.' Lord Byron is
credited with an epitaph on an old neighbour of his
near Newstead
John Adams lies here, of the parish of Sonthwell,
A carder, who carried his can to his mouUt well ;
Ho carried so much, and he carried so fait,
He co)ild.clrry.no more, so was carried at last

For the liquor he drank, being to much for one,
He could not carry'off, so he's now earn-on.'

"When the celebrated General Wolfe died, a
premium wa I offered for the best written epitaph on
that brave officer. A number of poets of all descrip-
tions entered the competition, and among the rest was
one who addressed his communication to the editor of
the Public Ledger, as follows
'He marched without dread or fears.
At the head of his bold grenadiers;
And what was more remarkable—nay, very particular,
He climbed up rocks that were quite perpendicular.'"

"As 'ITHERS SEE us."—The Chinese Ambassador,
who lately visited Great Britain, has recorded his im-
pressions in a diary; and these furnish interesting
and instructive reading. We may there find out a
good many thiugs about ourselves that we did not
know of before. Perhaps the richest morsel in the
whole book is the diarist's views of British colonial
and foreign policy (says the Court Journal). "It
would seem," says Liu-Ta-jen, "that to get posses-
sion of trading stations all over the world, for the
advantage of her commerce, is a principle of British
policy; but, being unwillinc, to face the expenditure
which the maintenance of large garrisons at many
points would involve, the British at last hit upon the
expedient of telegraph wires and steam vessels. The
French invented steam vessels, but the English
brought them to their present state of perfection.
Thus, by means of rapid communication, the English
effect a great saving of military expenditure—an ex-
cellent device. But Russia intends to extend her
seaboard to the south at the expense of Turkey, and
should the latter Power succumb, the Russians will
come down the Red Sea like water from an upturned
jar, and England will not only have to watch over the
safety of India, but to maintain large military garri-
sons at Aden, and all the stations on the South-east.
England will then have to be on the qui rive in every
direction ; she will not be able to secure the safoty of
so many stations; and she will be in the position of
the crouching wolf, who if he moves forwards, treads
on his dewlap, and if back, on his tail."
THE AMERICAN WHALING FLEET.—A despatch
froLa New Bedford, U.S., states that news from the
whaling fleet in the Arctic ocean is of the most cheer-
ing description. The fleet appears to have been very
successful from July 14 to August 24, and most of
the vessels are reported full. There has been no such
whaling since 1875.

VOYAGE OF A MADMAN.—A curious adventure is
reported from Port Hawkesbury, Upper Canada. The
schooner J. H. B. has arrived at that place and landed
an insane man, who had been picked up at sea by a
vessel, the Apoline, and transferred to the J. H. B.
Captain Miller, of the Apoline, reported- to the master
of the J. H. B. that on the 6th ult., when about 40
miles off the Magdalen Islands, an object was sighted
in the water, which, on approaching, was found to be
the insane man in -a small boat. - The boat itself was
half full of water and in great danger of sinking.
There was sib oars in it, and the man was navigating
it by means of a plank. He made a statement to the
effect that he had been about four days and three
nights in the boat, and had travelled a distance of
200 miles. He was handed over to the authorities.
TABLE-BOOK.--The most useful book for the table is
one from which you can always take a leaf.—Punch.
THE SEAHAM RECORDS .—A letter has been received
by the Mayor of Sutherland relative to the late
colliery explosion at Seaham in the following terms :
"Will you kindly receive one guinea for the widow of
Michael Smith, in memory of poor little 'Mick,' which
affecting incident of the explosion seems to have gone
to the heart of-everyone. I also send you a guinea for
the widow of that real hero who when exhorted to save
his life replied with such unselfish devotion, 'Nay ;
I'll stay with the lad."—lt is stated that Mrs. Smith
has refused £5O for the tin bottle on which the touching
message was written.
PARIS MARKETS.—The Paris markets contribute an
annual sum of about 13,000,000 fr. to the municipal
finances. The halles or central markets produce
3,657,000 fr. ; the cattle market of La Villette,
2,310,000 fr. ; the slaughter-houses, 3,000,000 fr. ; the
bonding warehouses of Bercy and the Quai St. Ber-
nard, 2,520,000 fr. ' • weighing fees, 34,000 fr. ; the
Temple market or Paris rag fair, 200,000 fr. ; the St.
Germain market, 116,0001 r. The love of flowers is so
generally developed among the population that the
flower markets yield no less a sum than 105,000 fr.
The ham and gingerbread fair, which lasts only a few
days, is set down in the estimates of receipts for
36,000 fr.

AN AWKWARD PREDICAMENT.—When a locomotive
puffs into a country station without..brihging with it
the anticipated first, second, and third-class carriages
containing the passengers friends and acquaintances
are waiting for on the platform, it is quite natural
that something like a panic should ensue and alarm
be depicted on every face (remarks the Evening
Standard). At the railway terminus of Provins,
in France, this occurred a few evenings ago, when
the eight o'clock train from Paris, or rather the engine
belonging to the same, came slowly to a standstill in
front of the company's servants and a bewildered
public, who were for a few moments utterly at a loss
to account for the absence of the expected train.
' Happily this momentary alarm was quickly dissipated;
no accident had occurred ; the missing train had simply
been forgotten at the previous station,. Longueville.
Here the carriages had been unhooked, and, owing
to some singular piece of absent-mindedness, it had
been forgotten to hook them on again, so that when
the customary signal to start was given the engine
moved away, not "bringing its tail behind it," but
leaving it stationary. One can easily conceive the
astonishment of the passengers and guard on finding,
after the whistle had sounded and doors were shut,
that the train remained motionless. The engine-
driver was quite unaware of this singular oversight
until the truth was revealed to him by the anxious
questions addressed to him at Provins, when the for-
gotten train *as speedily fetched from Lvgueviile.
ART-CLASS.—lnspector. "What is a Landscape
Painter ? " Student: "A painter of Landscapes."—
Inspector: "Good. What is an 'Animal Painter ?' "
Student: "A painter of animals."—lnspector. "Ex-
cellent. "What is at' Marine Painter '?" Student:
"A painter of Marines."—lnspector: Admirable !
Go and tell it them. Call next Class." [Exeunt
Students. ]_Pun
HEALTH AND LONGEVITY OF THE JEws.—Dr. S.
Gibbon, medical officer of health for the Holborn
district, London, in his report for the past year, states
that whatever may be the cause, there is no doubt but
that a Jew's life in London is, on the average, worth
twice as many years as a Christian's. The Hebrews
of the metropolis are notoriously exempt from tuber-
cular and scrofulous taint. It is very rare that one
meets with pulmonary consumption amongst them.
The medical officer of one of their large schools has
remarked that their children do not die in anything
like the same ratio as Gentile children- and in the
district of Whitechapel, the medical officer of health
has reported that on the north side of the High-street,
occupied by the Jews, the average death-rate is 20 per
1,000, whilst on the south side, occupied by English
and Irish, it is 43 per 1,000.
THE BETROTHED.—EIder Sister : "You should
make friends again. It is absurd for an engaged pair
to quarrel."—Laura: "Well then;let Edgar say the
first word."—Edgar (with a lively recollection of the
recent tiff) : "Yes, so long as you have the last you
don't care."—Fun.

WHAT WE OWE TO WOMAN.—The following is an
extract from a speech said to have been delivered by
Mark Twain at the Correapondents' Club Dinner,
Washingten :—" Mr. Presidelit,—l don't know why I
have received the greatest- distinction of the evening,
for so the office of replying to the toast of 'Woman'
has been regarded in every age. But lam proud of
the position, because, sir, I love the sex—l love all
women, sir, irrespective of age or colour. (Laughter.)
Mean intelligences cannot estimate what we owe to
woman, sir. She sews on our buttons, mends our
clothes, confides in us, tells us whatever she can find
out about the little private affairs of the neighbours.
(Laughter.) She gives 118 advice, and plenty of it ;
she gives us a piece of her mind sometimes, and
sometimes all of it. (Laughter.) Wherever you
place woman, six, she is an ornament to that place
which she occupAN, and a treasure to the world. . . .
As a sweetheart she has few equals, and no superiors.
(Laughter.) As a cousin she is convenient; as a
wealthy grandmother, with an incurable distemper,
she is unspeakably precious. What would the people
of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce,
sir, perfectly scarce. (Renewed laughter.) Then let
us cherish her, let us protect her, let us give her our
support, our encouragement, our sympathy, ourselves
if we get a chance. (Laughter.) Putting jesting
aside, Mr. President, woman is lovable, kind of,heart,
gracious, beautiful, worthy of all respect, of all defer-
ence. Not any here will refuse to drink her health
right cordially, in thi goblet of wine, for each and
every one of us has known, loved, and hon iured
the best of them all—his own mother." (Great ap-
plause.)
A WAITY MATTER—Lady (engaging Footman).__
You are clever at 'fable ?—jeamees, .Ma'am.—
Lady.—And you know your way to announce ?
Jeames.--Well, Ma'am, I know my weight to a pound
or so; but ra hardly liko to say to an ounce I—Funny
ir A representative of
the
'ttEelTately:attended the "blue grass
fair," given at xliCiEnc Gnus
ingto
h. n Ky., and was so impressed
Le _ a
with what he saw, that immediately
telegraphed his
paper as fo OGFazie'
SlTc7's..
'Rows ;—" A simple Kentucky girl is a
rival in any passage
of arms feminine; and that a
half-dozen will rout twice that number of Iteauties at
any watering place is a matter of notoriety ; but here
they are by hundreds, the flower of every county in
the fine old State, and of every type of beauty; the
stately blonde, the petite brunette, and that unique
mixture which flushes and pales and sparkles, and
eclipses both types. Languid, but brilliant ; perfect
in figure as in face; soft-voiced, with that peculiar
correscante tone which takes the best-guarded heart
by assault, the Blue Grass beauty is a woman to lead
a man to the scaffold if it lay in the way of her caprice,
or into the lion's jaws to rescue her glove or the rose
from her bodice as in the olden time. Titian painted
just such fruity flesh, such tints and half-tints and
transparent tones of colour; just such curves and
lines ; faces framed by jetty tresses, and such as
might have been clipped from the golden fleece. I
may be permitted to observe that they are not alto-
gether innocent of the arts of the toilet. But the
mobile dimpled mouth, the friendly arched eyebrows,
the delicately-balanced head, and ah ! such lips such
eves—black as night under their drooping lid's, but
giving up ablaze of light when lifted-'--are quite above
considerations of complexion,"