The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1868-07-11 00:00:00

MARRIAGE OR CELIBACY?

A correspondence has been going on for some time,
in the columns of the Dailg Telegraph, on the subject
of " Marl iag,e or Celibacy," and much has been said
for and against. The following sen Ode letter, and
which appears to come from a common-sense and
practical lady, under the appropriate signature of
"A Real Help-Meet," has appeared :
I am much interested anti amused by the paper war which
Is now raging on lir, question of matrimony. My own
opinion is that the girls are to blame as much as the men.
To give you an example. A few weeks before my marriage,
a young friend, two years my junior I was nineteen , sail
to me, " What income will you have when you settle down?"
I said, "None." "None !" she exclaimed, " well, bow do
you mean to live ?" "By working together," was my
reply. "Olt," said she. "I do not mean to marry un-
less my husband can keep a carriage for me; I sheald
expect that at least." Well, I married, and we set
to work ; neither toy husband nor myself minded
what we did in order to he economical. Ile soon got some-
thing toil,, (lie is a professional man). The day we married
we possessed A:2O (coda font). lie worked hard, and I tried
to save in every way possible. I never got anyone to do a
thing that I could do myself. I have takes a door off its
hinges, painted toy stairs when they were dirty, and a thou-
sand other things that many people would turn up their
noses at. When we had been married a couple of years, toy
young friend came to stay with me. In the course of conver-
sation she tolerated me that she would now marry a man
with thoo a year. "Oh," sail I, "you are coming down In
your terms." " Yes," she replied, "it's no use sticking out
for my carriage." A couple if years ago she came again to
stay with ale, and, to my amusement, informed me
she would now accept a man ,etherwtse approved.
with £2OO a year if he offered. What a calculating way
of setting to WOlk ! My friend Is still unmarried. But
this is only one instance of maay. The girls nowadays
think they have to do nothing but dress and read novels ;
happily, there are some exceptions. Men admire girls much
tire when they can take their share of household duties
My husband 111:610 up his mind to propose to me when he
saw me washing up the breakfast things one morning when
we were a servant short. Ile thought he would wait slew
days, just before taking the eventful step. Ile did so. and
caught me a few mornings after paring potatoes. " Alt!
that's the wife for roe ; I'll propose at once." lie 110160, and
I accepted hint. I must tell you, in justice to hint, that at
the time he proposed he hail an income of £2.00 per annum,
which he unfortunately lost s.am after. I have had Sillee my
marriage to dispense with a servant for a time, aud that, too,
when I had a young baby ; hot, when a husband sees a wife
ready to put her hand tit anything, he soon finds away to
help her ; and if, it hilst the husband is fighting the up-hill
hattle of Ii e, his income proves insallicient for necessaries,
a wife can do touch to make up the deficiency.
Sly trousseau, a very moderate one, lasted me nearly five
years; but then, toy dresses were not undergoing such
constant radical chan,es in form, at short intervals, as is
now the fashion. During these five years nty husband spent
less than £lsa year on dress. How could lie be extravagant
with such a void example? There is an old saying, "When
want comes ill at the door, love tiles out of the window
but in such cases there can be no true love. My own ex-
perience is that poverty only di saws a husband and wife toore
closely together, especially where there are little treasure.
,in the shape of crying babies, who will keep their papas
awake at night. to think of and work for
We now have a gross income of £1,300. but I still find It
requi-ite to do malty things at which a "Girl of the Period "
would be horrified ; and yet I doubt whether malty of the
deolzens of Mayfair have a greater idea of maintaining their
proper position in the world than A REAL HELP-MEET.