The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1868-02-18 00:00:00

TEAL OF LEXICON.

Patrick Lennon was tned for treason-felony in the
Commission Court at Dublin on Tuesday. Constables
were examined, who identified him as leader of the
party who took some of the police prisoners and
attacked the barracks at Stepaside and Gienenllan. The
jury, after ten minutes' delib, ration, returned a verdict
of guilty. On Wedneedsy be was indicted for shooting
at B,rgeant Belly, with intent. There were several
discrepancies in the evidener, and he was acquitted on
that charge. On Friday Baron Deasy sentenced
Ls noon to penal servitude for fifteen years for treason-
felony. The prisoner, in an impotent manner, remarked,
" I expect to me the Government upset before that.*

1 INI A X !TINE.

A great number "of .14; ia-u-s-live left Cork RUCS
Mackay's wrest. It is suppoeed they era afraid he will
tarn informer. . _ _

Patriak Mu'lady, who woo arrested in London on
enerieion of being concerned in the murder of Sergeant
Brett, 1,8 been again remanded by the Ilanehmter
mogmttatl.

Varieties.

Snarom. Orsees—Arehbishops.
A new way to per old debts.—Setile 'em.
A PRINCIPAL Rrroarderno VESTNINT. —The cloak
of religios.--Jady.
The Bishop of Cape Town is for the future to be called
Dr. Will-By-Force.
Tnz Gam(c) BErome THI Hoses—The Bill of fare
at,. horse banquet. —Pam
Let the slandered be comforted; It is only at fruit
tnes that thieves throw stones.

The best way toyet .lon y with people who are "set up
by pride" is to upset their pride sod them too.
_

-- A, Evrerr.—A sporting gentleman lately ran his bead
against a doorpost. We have not heard which won.

True politeness is as far from affecting gravity in the
company of the merry as from laughing in the presence
of the serious.

How is it that men have tech a horror of being
brought to shame here, when they profess to believe
that their unrepented sins will bring them to tar greater
shame hereafter?

AninaL FOOD. —An Ignoramus had been sick, and on
recovering war told by the doctor that he might take a
little animal food. "No, air," said he, "I took your
gruel very well, but hang me ill oan eat your bay mad
rata."

A cynical old bachelor, who firmly believes that all
women have sons, thing to say on
.11subjects, recently
salted a female friend, " Well, madam, what do you bold
on Ibis queation of female suffrage."—To him the lady
responded, " Sir, I bold my tongue!"

MULTIPLYING Witonott. —First old boy (reading).
"The wife of an frith laboneer presented him with three
children at • birth. What d'ye think of that, sir?
Second old boy. Shameful. sir, shameful I Fenianiam
in its very wont form r—lrdy.
110131•FLESE AND TSINIIING/I. —Waster of the Rona*.
'Pon my life, it's too Ind I This is the second time
cook's forgotten to take the shoe, off. I'll discharge
her this very night. vi., etc. Elderly gentleman
(affected). You haven't got snob a thing sa • tumblerfu
of pale brandy in the room, have yon? —Judy.
Tturhta.—Prome editor says that the destiny of th
worli often bangs on the smallest trifles. A little
"miff" betweeu Charles Bonaparte and Ida love Letitia
might have broken off • merrieso which pee birth to
Napoleon and the battle of Waterloo. Suppose • little
"miff" had taken plane between Adam and Eve! What
then?

OR ACILUM.—The following conversation ow:erred
between • boy and bis teacher :—" Whet does your
father do when he site down at the Uhler He asks
for the brandy-bottle."—" I don't mesa that. Wal,
then, what doss your mother do when you nit down at
the iiiekr - ..8b• says she will wring our necks If we
spill any grease 011 the floor l"
'

, -
CANDID.—A young lady, in (*cannily with a right
reverend prelate, consented, alter a long and soy re•
aistanee, to be led to the piano. She played and sang
so badly that the auditors hesitated to express their
thank.. In this strait his lordship brow, an__.4 crossing
the room, said, with his sweetest .mile, "Thank you,
Mies —, very particularly. Another time when you
say zou can't sing we shall all know how to believe
you.
An amusing story is told Pays the London 'torn*.
pondent of the Manchester (uardian) of the first teeny
at diplomatising •innag the Yankees by our new
Minister at Wuhington. Before quitting London he
met an American gentleman whom he did not recognise
as a member of the ultra•Republiean pain'', and to
whom be praised Mr. Johnan highly for his admlnie
trod... vigour and skill. Finding no response, be
modified his tone, and said, "At all ornate, all mast
admit that he does wonders for an entirely self•made
man." "It may be so," was the rejoinder; "bat, if be
be salf.made, I will say that it relieves God Almighty
of a grave responsibility."
"• • •

TOO GOOD TO BE Tnuc—A justlyesteensed contem-
porary concludes Its report of the proceedinp in Bank-
ruptcy in the OWN of )fr. Robert Short Waters, the
Earl of Mat teebury's late steward, with the following
singularly appropriate transposition of matter, evidently
belonging to the report of some sait in the Divorce
Court ' The cruelty Irsa proved, and the (burl pro-
nounced a decree of judicial eeperation." No sash luck
for poor Mr. Waters, In hie protruded and ruiners'
tussle with the Earl-King of Raster Hall, Judy fears.
Well, she can only wish that at no very distant period
the :gas Watery may soceeed in slipping through the
We's fingers, sod that his lordship's
aitsteeratZtd holy hands may be all the whiter from
the leashing be may gee
A PRACTICAL APPLICATION (IP THE ERUPTION