The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-08-23 00:00:00

SHORT AND PITHY.

I a man gets up when the day breaks, can he be
said to have the whole day be. T., him?
Ile who has plenty of brass can generally get it off
for gold.
"I'll give you the slip," as the gardener said when he
promised a friend a CUtlii,g.
Why is the world are a piano ?—Becanne it is full of
flats and sharp..
A poor fellow who was compelled to pawn his watch
said that he " rai.ed" the money with a lever.
A story it told of a tavern-keeper by the name of A.
S. Camp. The painter, hi painting his sign, left out the
stop,; so It rent "Tavern kept by AS Comp."
The other day a tailor sent his bill to a magazine
editor, lie was startled • few hours afterwards by its b,ln j
returned with the note appeal ,ed, " Your manuscript In
respectfully declined."
" How much did be leave?" inquired a gentleman of
a war, on learning the death of • w-ealthy citizen Every.
thing." responded the wag ; he didn't take a shilling with
him !"
"Tie strange," muttered a young man, as he stag-
gered home from a supper party, "how evil communicationu
corrupt goal manners. I've been surrounded by tumblers
all the evening, and now I m • tumbler myself !"
Never attempt to form an opini in of a Woman by
her sighs.
A bachelor friend compare. a ghirt-button to life,
bream° it so often hangs by a thread.
at Oh, mother." sold a little boy, as he stood looking
at • lake by moonlight, "see how the moon sprinkles down
on the water !"
" Mre. Miffin," said a visitor, "Emma has your
features hut I think she has got hr father's "
ow I see," said the '-dear little F. nm ; " "it's because I
have fatber's hair that he has to wear a wig,"
A negro, passing along the street, wan astonished to
hear a voice call out, "flow dye Marta Mango ? ito it 3,
no snowball ' and, on inking, observed It preceeoed frtmt •
parrot in a splendid gil . cage. "Alt, Massa Farr tt!" said
de:key, you great MIMI here—yon lib In a fol,l house now:
bat me know your fader very well: he lib in it. bush."
" Good morning, gentlemen," said a ticket-collector,
on entering • Wittily carrtsge. No or. responds I, "Beg
pardon ill have said toe lunch," he thereupon added. "I
withdraw the last expression."
A provincial actor who wan addicted to the nee of
the " flowing b iwl" was pointedly alluded to as • living
specimen of the mellow drummer.
If you want to talk heavy science, say "protoxiele of
10 dreg.," instead of "Ice." it sounds loftier, and not one
man In a thousand will k. ow wilet you mean.
"I always Ring to p 1 ase myself," said a gentleman
who Na, lituninbig a Woe it comproy. '• rhea y oil and taut
at nil difficult to please, sat) a ht,y who wit next him.
M. Prndhomme, in the decline of life, wits talking
with his nephew, to whom he etleted stories of his youth
"Bat, uncle," suddenly solstitial the youog man, " wrist
attack yon mmt during your life?"' My dear b 0 , it W.
your aunt I"
The following brief odic:tiny occurred at no Irish
railvsad ststion :—l'lissei gar : ifov long will the neat
train be " Porter: About six carriages, your honour, is
far as I knows, and au endue be comae."
" Di I the def en tont appvtach the plaintiff s seriatim?"
ioquirt ii an attorney, in a cato of mama and hattcrY, the
otter day. "No, air," was the reply , "he went at 'em With
a poker
Alphonne (who hue had an attack of mother-in-
law); Proodeau, madam., it Is not ze troubl.z it your
daughter Is my wife !" Not ! It is because she ill Lot an
orphan when she Is married to me "
An ea or. in correcting an error of the press, says:
"Our account of the thunderstorm last week contained-a
slight error: instead of hailstones aw large as pullets,' read
bullets.'"

In an adverti.ment by a rail way c. tnpany of some
uni•lalmeit goods, the letter I" Mopped from the word
" lawful," and It reads nor, 'People t, whim these packages
aro flirfutvl are regutsited to Come to: ward and pay the
awful charges on the lam..'
An ignorant honneniaid who had to call a gentleman
to dinner found him enigagsd In using a tooth.hrush. " Well,
Ii he coming t'• sant Mg lady of the house, when the strvant
returned. "Y-., 1114.1101, directly," wag the reply
," hoe Jtst
sharpening his teeth."

Sir Peter C ,st•, Aucuendrsne, has bought • picture
',tinted by Sir Noel Paton. Ti e polluting, which ts tniltled
•• Ookol I and the Ellemaids," Is at present being trial hited at
E Ilubursh . . . . .

The payments made in the Coorta of Probate and
Divorce in the year ended the 31st Nierch leas were
£177,563 7e. 54., and the fees received 136,731, making the
expenditure £40,777 7e, Id. over the recelpia.

AN INTERESTING DEPARTMENT IN
THE VIENNA EXHIBITION.
The following l au extract from the letter of the Special
Cm:respondent of the Daily I &graph at the Vienna Exhi-
bition :

Amongst the many splendid illustrations of the pro.
green effected is. modern civilisation during the last ten
years that are exhibited in the Palace of Industry and
its grounds, none is more replete with human interest,
or more remarkable for its completeness, than the dim
play of mechanical appliances incident to the mitiga-
tion of the sufferings caused by wounde and sickness to
the victims of war. The pavilion marked with the
red cross, in which all that science and ingenuity,
stimulated by philanthropy, have discovered, per.
(noted, and alapted to all emergencies, for the allevia-
tion of the hurt soldier's torture, and the cure of those
dise3ses that are generated by exposure, irregularity
of habits, mod excessive fatigue, is collects d and
arranged for public inspection, elands between the
great dairy and the Gallery of Amateurs, near the ex-
treme eastern confines of the Exhibition park ; and I
will venture to artnert that there is no annexe of the
whole gigantic chow more worthy of a visit. Under
considerable difficulties, broth of the positive and ne-
gative sort, has an absolutely exhaustive collection of
hospital paraphernalia, ambulance matJriel, field
cooking apparatus, and train-hospitals been brought
together, chiefly by the untiring exertions of Dr. L.
WitteLshefer, the ed-tor of a!eading medical periodical
published in Vienna, to whom Baron de Schwarz.
Senhorn delegated the onerous task of organising an "ex-
hibit," the establishment of which was, oddly enough—
for reasons too numerous and not publicly interesting
enough to be given here—regarded with disfavour by the
Emperor himself, by foreign Governments, by the
surgical profession, and by the very manufacture of
the objects to be exhibited themselves. In the central
division of the pavilion are set out, carefully and in-
telligibly labelled, all the chirurgical instruments and
implements used during and after operations, every
sort of bandages, with models illustrating the modes
of their application, mechanical limbs simceptible
of almost lifelike motion by simple arrangements of
springs, cheats f materia for field ambulances that are
triumphs of packing, and specimen medicamenta in great
varie.y. Terribly interenting are two cases of fractured
human hones, the one showing the smashing effect
prmineed by the blunt needle-gun hulkt, the
other the splitting rending injury inflicted by
the more pointed and sure swiftly propelled
l'hasnepot bolt. There may be seen, too, in another
corner, a few if hardly photographs of face aril head
wounds, peculiarly difficult to deal with—contrasted
with portraits of the sufferers after their disfigure-
Did. ts had been patiently dealt with by eurgical science.
In oils of the wingn are exhibited stretchers, litters,
operating tel and beds, field kitchens, spring chairs,
couches and beds, surgeries and dispensaries on wheels.
and a hundred other ingenious contrivances for bring-
ing help and relief to the wounded rsr sick man with the
leant poroible delay ; in the other are several complete
hos ital trains, from the rn iimantary Hamburg rail-
way ambulance, unventilated and forlorn of every
comfort, to the magnificent " Service des
Weenie" forwarded from Pad., containing every-
thing imaginable for the accommo iation of the Fick
and wounded, as well as of the medical, surgical, and
culinary staff attached to a noble locomotive hospital.
This French train is • rolling marvel of cunning con-
trivances for e arnomieing space, maintaining thorough
ventilation, avoiding oscillation, securing independence
of the outer world, reed bestowing upon everybody
carried by it, whether patient, surgeon, or atten-
dant, a maximum of physical ("unfold. The kitchen
and reFtaurant are admirably arranged ; the former
carries in its four corners the supply of fresh drinking
and cooking water for the whole train, in so aptly
shaped and aitoated metal reservoirs that they take up
no appreciable room whatever, and at the name time are
quite easy of access. There is an officer's tabie in the
restaurant car, as well 119 one for the men, provided
with excellent glass, cutlery, and china ; the cook and
waiter sleep in the kitchen, the wards b in, entirely
devoted to the patients; and the surgical staff in Is
separate car, which contains the offiks, dispensary,
hoe aka' stores, spare stretchers, instrument cases,
extra bedding, &c Each surge m has • senarate room
to himself, infinitely better furnisbe I and more corn
fortable in every respect than any State cabin I ever
yet occupied on board a steam packet ; and the berths
for the wounded are luxoriotmly fitted up, whilst
the ventilation of the wards is simply perfect. Not
far from the French train stands the Prussian
((overnment pattern) railway ambulance; very
solid and practical, like the field dispensa-
ries, also sent in by the War Department at
Berlin, but sadly deficient in many of the cumfortn and
all the luxuries that distiuguinh the Parisian invention
from all its rivals. Germany, Anntria, Spain, Italy,
and England exhibit Feld ambulances of oifferent
patterns, and Baron Monday has supplied a fulldr4z-d
model of Ma is-proved field ambulance, which, with
one or two slight modifications, will, I hear, probably
be adopted for this army by the Imperial Royal War
Office. Italy also contributes two specimens of her
service field kitchens (on wheels), one equal to cooking
ration, for 2,509 men and the other for Loo). The
larger of the two can be easily drawn by two horses,
and the smaller by one.