The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1875-05-22 00:00:00

SELECTED ANECDOTES.

Bow, Wow !—There is a story told of the officers o
a British ship dining with a mandarin at Canton. One
of the guests wished a second helping of a savoury
stew, which he thought was some sort of duck. Not
knowing a word of Chinese, he held his plate to the
host, saying, with smiling approval, "Quack, quack,
quack." Imagine how his countenance fell when the
host, pointing to the dish, responded, "Bow, wow,
wow !"
THE DUTCHMAN'S CIDER. —ln the small village of
B— in the state of Pennsylvania, there lived a
Dutchman who was famous for making the best cider
in the neighbourhood, and was equally famous for
keeping it; and as yet no person but himself and family
had been permitted to taste the good stuff. At last,
one of his near neighbours said he was determined to
taste it. Accordingly he went to the Dutchman's
house, and entered into conversation with him con-
cerning his crops, &c., and by degrees led him to sneak
of his cider. He then said to him, "I understand you
make very good cider?"—" Yaw," replied the Dutch-
man. ' Hans, my poy, go bring a mug full." Hans
soon returned with a mug brimming full, and handed
it to the Dutchman, who drained it to the bottom in
one draught; then turning to his astonished visitor
said, " Dere now, if you dosh not dink dat goot cider,
joost you schmell te mug,"
OBEDIENCE OF ORDERS.—A naval commander in the
reign of Queen Anne, was ordered to cruise with a
squadron within certain limits on the coast of Spain.
Having received information that a Spanish fleet was
in Vigo, beyond his limits, he resolved to risk his per-
sonal responsibility for the good of his country : he ac-
cordingly attacked and defeated the Spanish fleet
with uncommon gallantry. When he joined the
admiral under whom he served, he was ordered under
arrest, and was asked "If he did not know that, by the
articles of war, he was liable to be shot for disobedience
of orders ?" He replied with great composure, that he
was very sensible that he was, but added, "The man
who is afraid to risk his life in any way when the good
of his country requires it, is unworthy of a command in
her majesty's service."
FRENCH TRUMPETER. —ln the war on the Rhine, in
1794, the French got possession of the village, of Rhin-
thal by a very curious ruse de guerre of one Joseph
Werck, a trumpeter. This village was maintained by
an Austrian party of six hundred hussars. Two com-
panies of foot were ordered to make an attack on it at
ten o'clock at night. The Austrians had been apprised
of the intended attack, and were drawn up ready to
charge on the assailing party. On perceiving this,
Werck detached himself from his own party, and con-
trived by favour of the darkness, to slip into the midst
of the enemy • when taking his trumpet, he first
sounded the rally, in the Austrian manner, and next
moment the retreat ; the Austrian; deceived by the
signal, were off in an instant at full gallop; and the
French became masters of the village without striking
a blow.
FINE RETORT.—One of the finest retorts on record is
that made by an English ambassader to a French king,
of whom he asked the release of certain Huguenots
who had been thrown into the Bastile for their religion,
"What would your master, the King of England, say
if I sued for the release of the prisoners in Newgate ?"
said the king. The answer was ready : Your majesty
may have every one of them, if you will claim them as
your brethren.'
A CRUEL FRAUD. —At a California fair several bottles
of strained honey were exhibited, when a man put a
bottle of castor oil with the test. Several old ladies
sampled it, with the same result. The opinion of all
who tried it was, that the bee who laid it was a fraud.
One old lady said, that even the bees had got to cheat-
ing now-a-days.
THE THIRD EARL OF DERBY.—Edward, the third
Earl of Derby, who died in the reign of Queen Elizabeth,
lived in the greatest splendour without any dependence
on the court. Camden says, that with his death the
"glory of hospitality seemed to fall asleep ;" and
Hollingshed and Stow make the most honourable men-
tion of him. Ho offered ten thousand men to the queen
at his own charge, to suppress the rebellion; and
among other things "deserving commendation, and
craving memory to be imitated, Hollingshed enume-
rates " his godly disposition to his tenants, never forc-
ing any service at their hands, but due payment of
their rent: his liberality to strangers, and such as
showed themselves grateful to him; his famous house-
keeping, and eleven score in check roll the number of
attendants in pay as menial servants] never discontinu-
ing the space of twelve years; his feeding especially of
aged persons, twice a day, three score and odd, besides
all corners thrice a week, appointed for his dealing
days; and every Good Friday these thirty-five years,
one with another, 2700 with meat, drink, money, and
money's worth. There never was a gentleman or other
that waited in hisservice, but had allowance from him,
to have as well wages as otherwise for horse and Man."