The Press.
London, England, 1855-09-01 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

Simpering Smith is engaged in laying in and trying on a new
stock of waistcoats, lemon-coloured gloves, and patent leather bottines
This graceful young statesman is also endeavouring to understand
Mills's " India," and has written to King Bomba to assist his cram in
defence of Torture.

OSMYN AND CALED.
NOT BY JAMES—BUT BY VERNON—SMITH.
Vernon, who fills the Indian Throne,
With ifiefficient sway.
All night dreams oflice from him flown,
But wakes to rule at day.

Russell, poor man, at Rodbrt; held,
From friends and office torn,
In dreams the Seal of State will wield,
But wakes obscure at morn.

Morning to Smith restores the crown,
And makes poor Russell sigh ;
Returning night throws Vernon down,
To raise Lord John on high.

Ye statesmen—'tis a curious myth—
Your judgment please to own :
Pray tell me, is Lord John a Smith?
Or is our Smith Lord John?

KING WEATHERCOCK.

THAT day we visited the Palace of Hearsay, wherein dwells the sham
King Weathercock, who, with a goosequill and a large army of types
and metaphors, does think to rule the whole kingdom of Papermany,
and to order and direct all matters in the war between the Angles and
the Great Bear. We saw there many of his officers, a scurvy lot, and
divers studies and exercises whereby they did flt and prepare them-
selves, when the Greek Calends should arrive, to undertake the
government of the Angles.
Some there were who tried to make black both white and black
and neither, all at one time, and much they got by it.
Others out of less than nothing made great things, and sold them
at so much a sheet.

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their difficulties to procure sustenance must prove
immense, if not altogether impossible. From all
these facts the gallant officer infers that the besieged
are in a most perilous condition ; and concludes by
declaring that the allies have only to continue their
work of perseverance, and the issue can no longer be
doubtful.
The Russian journals contain Prince Gortschakoff's
official report of the battle of the Tschernaya. The
prince admits great losses. Amongst the dead were
Generals Read, Weimann, and Cverwiky. The prince
attributes the defeat to the too great impetuosity of
the right columns of attack.
The division of the army of the east of France,
under General Lafontaine, is about to embark for the
Crimea.

Accounts from Rutschuk affirm that between 8,000
and 9,000 Turkish troops have left the Danube for
Asia.

The Austerlitz, French line-of-battle ship, arrived
at Kiel on Thursday. H.M.S. Sanspuriel had also
reached that por, with vast quantities of munition,
and warlike stores for the Baltic fleet. Three more
English bomb-vessels have arrived at Helsingfors,
defects in their construction rendering it necessary to
send them back to England.
A letter from Warsaw states that the Grand Duke
Constantine has paid a visit to Sweaborg since the
bombardment, and made a minute inspection of the
fortifications.

The overland mail has brought intelligence that
the troops destined to form an army of reserve in
Upper Egypt will commence embarking for Suez
about the middle of September, and it is expected the
force, amounting to nearly 10,000 men, will be con-
centrated above Cairo, at the latter part of October.
The regiments to embark are—the 14th Light Dra-
goons, Bth Foot, 64th Foot, and 86th Royal County
Down, from Bombay; 10th Foot, 27th Enniskillens,
and 52nd Light Infantry, from Bengal; and 43rd,
Monmonthshire Light Infantry, from Madras. In
addition, nearly 1,200 irregular cavalry have volun-
teered, and it is understood their services have been
accepted.

Mr. Betts, of the firm of Peto, Brassy, and Betts,
states respecting the Crimea, that since the formation
of the line it has been doubled, and is now being ef-
fectually drained and ballasted for the winter work.
General Simpson, in reply to Lord Panmure's
inquiries as to the condition of the line on the 19th
ult. states :—" The present railway is on the best site
thet can be obtained and when effectually drained

SATURDAY,

One did peer and squinny out of the hack of his head into the
middle of next week, and wrote down the marvellous things he saw
there.

Others did pass all their time in making a strange sort of
machines called Leaders, whereby they did many wonderful things ;
sometimes turning wooden sheds into stone forts, the which they did
utterly level, smash, crush, and destroy, with showers of sharp sen-
tences, good similes, notes of admiration, and the like paper-bullets ;
and did so utterly blur, blot, and smutch them out, that if you looked
at them in the dark you could not so much as see the place whereon
they stood.
Others, to show their bravery, did mouth and make faces in the
dark at valiant men fighting their battles on the other side of the
world ; and again did lick awl beslaver the bodies of the same, as soon
as they were dead.
Others did hold for true both sides of a contradiction, and were
paid for defending both, and all the While did believe neither.
Others did sit all day long gaping and fly-catching, with empty
pockets, in horsehair wigs, and told us that this exercise was exceed-
ing useful for the ruling of kingdoms, the conduct of armies, and the
administration of commonwealths.

One did cook figures in a huge rot, whereby he wade one dozen
into a gross, and called it Our Circulation.
Others, and these were lazy, good for nothing knaves, did prate
often of their own purity and honour, showing how, at one time, when
their pockets were full, they did nobly refuse for a bribe of fivepence
to say that which was against their own interest, and the like.
Some were painted all over eyes, wherewith they saw all things;
everything else went in at one ear and out at the other.

I saw forty cartloads of briefless banisters lurking behind a
screen, where they were at it, ding-dong, scribbling deuce knows
what, and making rare work of it, and all by hearsay.

Many did fully publish and sell to the whole world the secret
counsels of the Angles against the Bear, whereby everybody grew
wiser, and nobody was hurt but themselves.

There were some who with short aphorising did explain every-
thing to everybody, so that all grew learned in a trice, and would must
fluently talk to you of a world of things, the hundredth !Art off' which
would take up a man's life to be fully known ; pursy traders did preach
and write on the art of war, which they had learned by hearsay in the
counting-house; dull priests did prose of geography by hearsay;
sellers of cheap pencil-cases maundered of gunnery, and the like.
Oh! the rare sight that it was !

And they did all eat their own words, a baker's dozen at a time,
and many got no other food. B.

and ballasted, which is being done, will be quite free
from floods." Lord Panmure has sent out 150 more.
carriages, to replace those which have been in
constant work, as they require it from time to time'
A letter from Berlin states that Count de Nesse'.
rode has addressed another despatch to the Russian
embassies, in which be reiterates the willingness of
the Czar to accept honourable propositions for peace
and recommends that no opportunity shall be ne-
glected of reminding the Cabinets to which the am-
bassadors are accredited of the pacific intentions of
the Russiap Government.

Much discontent having been expressed in Paris
at the high price of the necessaries of life, the
Moniteui• has published a table of the rates of meat
and bread in that city compared with thoSe in Loti-
don, Liverpool, Brussels, Antwerp, and Amsterdam,
from which it appears that the articles above named
are lower in the French capital than in any of the
other towns.

The King of Denmark is about to leave Copen-
hagen on a visit to the King of Sweden. It is a pri-
vate visit only, his Majesty travelling under the name
of Count Danner; the Countess Danner will accom-
pany his Majesty.
The King has sanctioned the alterations in the
fundamental law, and on Wednesday the Premier
presented the collective constitution to the Copen-
hagen Landsthing, accompanying it with a two hours'
speech. He stated that, if the measure were re-
jected, the whole Ministry would resign.

The subscriptions in Spain to the voluntary loan
exceed sixty-five millions of reals, and it is said to
be in contemplation to extend the time for subscrib-
ing to it. The interest on the debt is to be paid
very shortly.

Cape papers have arrived to the 23rd of June in.
elusive, but they are entirely destitute of interest.
A banquet with a very superb testimonial of plate
was given on Thursday night to Major-General Sir
J. M. Frederic Smith, R.E., at the George Hote
ls
Portsmouth, as a parting souvenir on his quittinf
that borough for the Camp at Aldershott.

THE QUEEN has been pleased to appoint th..
Right Hon. Robert Lowe, m.v., to be her Majesty's
Paymaster-General.