The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1886-09-11 00:00:00

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MANAGER, 235, HIGH HOLBORN,
LONDON, W.C.

APPLICATIONS for AGENCIES rtrviTrizt,

Crmum Fox once received a severe lecture from
his father about his extravagance, who concluded by
saying he wondered he could enjoya moment's repose,
when he considered the invnense sums he owed.
"Dear me, sir," relied he, "you shouldn't wonder at
that; but rather how my creditors can."
A Good story is told by Moore in his "Diary," of a
man selling a horse, and the would-be purchaser in-
quiring as to his leaping powers, asked, "Would he
take timber ?" "He'd jump over your head," was
the answer. "I don't know what you call that."
ROGERS, the English poet, was a man of singularly
cadaverous Eippearance. A high, bald forehead, sunken
cheeks and eyes, and a ghastly pallor made him a
marked object. One day being in Paris, he visited
the catacombs in company with Lord Dudley. As they
returned into the daylight, after going round, the at-
tendant at the entrance, who had not noticed Rogers
go in, was so astonished at his looks that he cried out:
"No, no Back you go. We can't have any of you
outside." Lord Dudley walked on; and when Rogers
overtook him and compl iined of his leaving him to get
out of the difficulty alone, he only replied, "My dear
fellow, you looked 80 thoroughly at home that I hadn't
the heart to meddle."
A WELL-KNOWN Nonconformist minister, lately
resident in Bangor, has lost a legacy of £lOOO through
omitting to make a call upon a tradesman who for
some years sat under his ministry. The minister in
question was conducting a special service, and in his
hurry to catch his train went past the shop without
calling. The tradesman who was rather eccentric,
died last week. His will contained a legacy of £lOOO
for the minister, but it had been cancelled the day
following that upon which he omitted to make his
customary call.
"Now, Johnnie, go and kiss your little sweetheart,
and make it up," said Johnnie's mother. "No I won't 1'
"Go and tell her how much you love her, and how
sorry you are." "No I won't! Pa says he got into
a breach-of-promise case by tellin' a girl that, and
had to marry the old thing. I won't run any risks,
I won't.'

TOM HAY, the comedian, suffered much at the hands
of certain budding critics, who stubbornly refused to
acknowledge the rare ability of that eminent actor.
His friends would frequently allude to the spiteful
comments made by these pressmen on his playing,
when Tom, with the utmost good-nature, invariably
answered, "Bite me! Why not, isn't hay always a
treat to a donkey I"
WIFE (returning home) : "How is this, Karl, what
made you put the children to bed so soon ?" "Be-
cause they disturbed me in my writing, dear." "And
did they allow you to undress them quietly?" "No;
that one in the corner se/Tatted dreadfully." Wife :
"That one in the corner? (Goes and peeps.) Why,
bless me, that's Freddy Schmidt from next door!"
"ONE bumper at parting," as the merry-maker said
when he ran his head against a post.
Snip this way, if you please, ladies," said the
gracious floor-walker, as he led off with a majestic
wave of his hand. "We are sorry, 'said a lady," but
we never learned to step that way."
A LADY sent her maid one day for the novel, a ITE)
Cometh Not, she Said," but the damsel asked for," He
Corn betli not his Head -


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