The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1859-08-16 00:00:00

Varittitz.

" That's what I call capital punishment," as the her
said when his mother shut him up ia the dome mama

Ail editor, at a dinner table, toiling asked it be would
take pudding, replied, in a ft at alnaraetion, "Owing to
a crowd of other matter, 1 am anabie to Ind room for
it."

When 1)r. Lucas, a unpopular man, 'matured on
a speech in the Irish Parliament, and failed altogether.
Grattan mid, "He ram without • friend, and sat dowu
without an enemy."
Harmless mirth is the beet cordial against the eon.
sweeties of the spirits; wherefore jesting is not unlaw-
ful, if it trespameth not in quantity, quahty, or season.
Ma. Srusosos's LAST—Mr. Spurges*, in presehing
at Norwich last week, indulged in some of his charaMei -
istio humour. "Content," be said, "mad. our csio
run over, while discontent knocked the bottom out •
The story which had recently appeared in the 7:
about his having a large fortune left him was a eons t•
hoax ; if he were to have a guinea for every false
told about him be could build his great chapel very soon,
and probably 'have enough left for a cathedral or tw,..
. . . Christian men sometimes fell terribiy foul
of each other, like the two English ships which Weed-
sided each other for hours in a mist without knowing
that the British flog WU flying at their magnet& T,.
lasy man was one of the biggest sinners on earth; it Le
did nothing else, he broke one of Ckid's greates cow-
! inandinenta. There was • very strict Babliateris•
gardener who was very bard upon his matter shout hie
! observance of the Sabbath His master mid to him,
! "Why you break the commandment yourself:*
" How ?" said the gardenel, "I don't work on a Bun-
, day!" "No," ouoth the master, "loot on any other
, day. Just repeat the commandment." The gardener
i obeyed, and when he came to "sir days shalt Uwe
labour and do all that thou haat to do," hie master
•said "There, stop there; that ia as musk a pert of the
commandment as that the seventh day is the Bah-
-1 The stickling for eseleriest dilater
' Cons was as absurd as if a by man about bleationua
bread were told by • Churchman, "No bread like the
tin loaf," or by an Independent, "NO Weed like the
cottage loaf," or by a Methodist," You mesa eat twists:*
The hungry man would my, "Give me MOON breed, and
I will settle the shape afterwards." It jars somehow
upon the feelings to am the copious reports which the
country papers give of Mr. Spurgeon's "sermons," aopi•
oust) inded with " laughter*"

•• Notursand Arf."—There are but fey Wiliam 'rhumb
naturr'. beneficent product. do not results onus et the appll-
MIK. "fed to adapt thou for our me; art, idattid wow
hr employed to haw% to merchotdise • Jlettriesse odes ir
A.diiv its deject,, for the extra profit Uie obeelset suet be
taken from the eumnoner. Tea ekuonallaes apsoei. proverbial
for desterity, onnerqurutly It Is 001 end that
uomst 0, i, "poi highly fluid Or coloured, la emir to
mkt the er~e• a mune appear equal te the bre ; this
custom, while alionling with profit to the setter, ihkeds the
consumer mud ocaulomu Peedmitmmmut and low alwiraiwilli
arid Ce.. London. %horsier,lpwl Tot leitheatemiow alp foodsfai
ses if milare, keying entirely to the tataiemelerigli
!Tooth.,
for then aorta haring no brows ism _ me
allow peed not needing to be dat, Zab," ,
of powdered colour. The of Asserts kw Be
In this paper.
Buffoon's airman UM I.ll4L—Milli Welk miLlost
diptisertte.-80.• throat, with Male or berbeeneesea'
twisty yeses ben trued with the mien peemodle TM •
degree at moo ter awaissfires ed
treatment. The ewes We bin go niu.elNmi•
ffillaarolll, that It wee the new
comaistlter at man items b the iimaLl
threat, itch& be be the seems has
bum the era. dhesee.llo doeNegMUleeS
eareehleho ilegewegt ellmegest
ieg
g nue el Idoereogg liesei.

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