The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1868-04-21 00:00:00

rarittins.

Tam Serarr 01 THE Aos..—Gla.

Ax &mime Taarir.—A lady's walking-dram
Tun nrrracwor.—k canter will eve you ruddy
cheeks; • decanter will give you a ruddy nose.

-
DIGOORY says he always respeets old age, except
when some on' cheat. him with a pair of tough
ohickeaa

WALKING PIIITILEXCP. —Pompon' Teacher : "Now
then, scholars, what Is the pestilence that walketh in
&dreier r—Thin Little Girl: "Please, sir, it's fleas.*

wiliness spoke of a particular person as haring seen
him "partially clad."—" Was he not quite nude r'
asked the examining °mined. "No," replied the
witness, "he wore a pair of spectacles."
A MARIE TO Quiz AT. —Lord Townsbend has gone In
so madly for the proud 'position of premix chevalier of
servant girls, and has done such strange jobs in that
capacity, that be ought to be styled the ldarquis-of-all.
work—Fan.

d DILIMML—WhIIe a country parson wss preaching,
the chief of his parishioner', sitting near the pulpit, wu
feat Weep ; whereupon he said, "Now, beloved friends,
I ain in a great strait ; for if I speak too softly those
at the farther end of the church cannot bear me,
and 11l talk too load I shall wake the chief man In the
pariah."

Tee NEw Brrt.“.—Old Swell (who ls entertaining
his tenants): "What wino have you pot on. Tomkinsr
—Butler : " Tho Twenty•foor, Sir Old Swell:
•• Why, oonfound it, that's the oldest wine in the
cellar :" Yea, sir, which I natoral thought
you'd las to get rid of the boldest fast r—irim.

WArraD TO Know.—The oolour of the mind's eye.
The flavour of the MO of bitterness. The gigot a piece
of ohalk. The weight of a load of sorrow. Is it murder
to drown your sorrows, or to kill time? Is it bigamy
for. married man to become wedded to his opinion.?
Is it deerrtiou of family for • mazi to forsake his evil
ways? Is it 'gelds if yen bury yourself in thought, or
another yourself in grief
I Bra YOUR PAlLDoll.—David Crockett happened
once to be present at an exhibition of animals In the city
of Washington, when • monkey seemed to attract his
particular attention; and he abstractedly observed, "If
that fcllow had on • pair of spectacles, ho would look
like Major Wright, of Ohio." The major happened to
be jug behind Crockett, and tapped Davy on the
shoulder. Turning round, Davy very formally remarked,
"I'll be hanged, major, if I know whose pardon to ask,
yours or the monkey's."

Joan BlM.incle on Curia —lt is reel singular what •
man-killer and woman-killer the god Cupid is, for one
of his heft. He is pictured on paper about the miss of
a foneyear.old fat boy-baby, with a pair of wings about
at large ea • boss butterfly's. and is armed with a bow
and arrows, that might possibly answer to kill bumble-
bees at four mom. This little fellow has bored more
game with Ms wooden Auteuil/ irons than all the Mot
Mut has ever been ballt can brag M. He has in his
quiver innumerable arrows, wine few of them dipped in
genuine lore, and feathered with good asses; but most
of them would seem too trifling taw be at an dangerous
If I hadn't with my own eyes noticed him at work with
Mem both at male and female game' both sitting and
and seen the many dad shots he has mid.. I
ham beta at sum mine for the lasi taw @mons few
wake Ms manoorers where I have happened tee be,
end tie following reokord is a faithful history of this
little ehap's him Ben Slocum, aged nineteen years,
weighed about 100 pounds, and a good eater, at
rombewwoperrolith4dejob:weiwnyglai:te"dtheeTußacmahlthiednwasaaT.foutrhcklClFeslarwatesnd"Fmrnieunn"firoor'warel:l4,jhutreaayounn:f
daughter of 1. 8, Freelove, Esq., who ocial=y big
siudhhnoatidlohFrenthel:PiaablryFndre7vertltuanrunsegdbnihyntlidahrfr.g.PerudJaie.ohnool!tviß.:::::tlzalllejushimaa4l:Httlie:
Iskii:oliainibedid.editigoLbdtyd.c...dis:Bbeaforimlebtallit:;thylitlarehy..oo4..rbyttolbuirshwa:lskimu.k4u,drydannia:ds:b.b.;e:z:
sweetest smiles darted across the counter. BD2
Fenton'. No. 7 patent leather =lnd °entomb'
lived
wily an hour, in greet agony. attor &Loa wan° ang•
pies at Widow Stebbia's. 'mak Kantor, mined Mr
Life. by
_s. bleak belabors! with an mope stripe Is IL
Willie Wharldemame, by the WOK of Jemmy Joao%
velveteen, end the Slaide of bat ham% man.

HOT WATER APPARATUS:
-
re"ai===pai:
.3 •T• swimatahmums
*-- *I, . ro ilk sp Mt
IMIA
'ea
7 142m'
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f
It it:: 0:111G71,
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me Mr I
tat
i
riagi it -41
=3.4 iiii: • ,
amptir.44l
' ••
••.. ". wpm WI. , • • ,
.. ,
421.,..
isi
*war
ii 4
, " A '
T JONES & SONS haw: the largest stock
1
" • oi HOT WATER PIPES with all cooneetwellp
Wrought sod Cast Imo Cylinder sod Saddle Boilers,
CILI2OOII %ilea, Portable Boilers. &a., and will be
b.Ppy to forward prime for the Name either as the
wharf in Loudon, ordellreted to any Balm Bbakir
or stopping Port iri thallOtaximekm•

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