The Press.
London, England, 1855-03-17 00:00:00

262

even that little trifle makes them feel dyspeptic.. They'll
starve soon ; what can be the matter? A. glass of cool
ginger pop with ice would be refreshing, and soda water is
still better. It is too early for wine, and at any rate it's
heating, besides being unsoriptural.
Some of his remarks upon women are
clever :
Clack, then, you see is natural to them : talK therefore to
them as they like, and they will soon like to talk to you.
If a woman was to put a Bramah lock on her heart a
skilful man would find his way into it if he wanted to, I
know. That contrivance is set to a particular word ; find
the letters that compose it, and it opens at once. The
moment I heard the Gaelic I knew I had discovered the
cypher—l tried it and succeeded. Tell you what, Pilot,
love and skill laugh st locks, for them that can't be opened
can be picked. The mechanism of the human heart, when
you thoroughly understand it, is, like all the other works of
nature, very beautiful, very wonderful, but very simple.
When it does not work well, the fault is not in the
machinery, but in the management.
Of all people in the world the Americans are
the most squeamish ; but our author is much
of the opinion of Dean Swift, if we recollect
rightly, that the nicest people are the nastiest.
Innocence should not be painted with down-
cast eyes and a blush, but with open gaze and
serene aspect. We like the honest plainness

of this passage :
There is a horrid sight of hypocrisy now, more than
there was a hundred years ago : vice was audacious then,
and scared folks. It ain't so bold at present as it need to
did to be ; but if it is forbid to enter the drawing-mom,
the back staircase is still free. Where there is a will there
is a way, and always will be. I hate pretence, and, above
all, mock modesty ; it's a bad sign.
I knew a clergyman to home a monstrous pious man,
and so delicate minded, he altered a great many words and
passages in the Church Service : he said he couldn't find it
in his heart to read them out in meetin, and yet that fellow.
to my sartain knowledge, was the greatest scamp in private
life I ever knew. Gracious knows, I don't approbate
coarseness, it shocks me, but nervous sensibility makes
me sick. .1 like to call things by their right names, and I
call a leg a leg, and not a larger limb ; a shirt a shirt, though
it is next to the akin, and not a linen vestment ; and a
stocking a stocking, though it does reach up the leg, and
not a silk host ; and a garter a garter, though it is above
the calf, and not an elastic band or a hose suspender. A
really modest woman was never squeamish. Fastidiousness
is the envelope of indelicacy. To see harm in ordinary
words betrays a knowledge, and not an ignorance of evil.
His philosophy of a kiss is capital :
It tante a thing ever to be forgot. No language can ex•
press it, no letters will give the sound. Then what in
natur is equal to the flavour of it? What an aroma it has !
How spiritual it is. It ain't gross, for you can't feed on
it ; it don't cloy, for the palate ain't required to test its
taste. It is neither visible, nor tangible, nor portable, nor
transferable. It is not a substance, nor a liquid, nor a
vapour. It has neither colour nor form. Imagination
can't conceive it. It can't be imitated or forged. It is
confined to no clime or country, but is übiquitous. It is
disembodied when completed, but is instantly reproduced,
and so is immortal. It is as old as the creation, and yet is
as young and fresh as ever. It pre-existed, still exists, and
always will exist. It pervades all natur. The breeze as it
passes kisses the rose, and the pendant vine stoops down
and hides with its tendrils its blushes as it kisses the
limpid stream that waits in an eddy to meet it, and raises
its tiny waves, like anxious lips, to receive it. Depend
upon it Eve learned it in Paradise, and was taught its
beauties, virtues, and varieties by an angel, there is some-
thing so transcendent in it.
How it is adapted to all circumstances ! There is the
kiss of welcome and of parting, the long lingering, loving
present one, the stolen or the mutual one, the kiss of love,
of joy, and of sorrow, the seal of promise, and the receipt of
fulfilment. Is it strange therefore that a woman is in-
vincible whose armoury consists of kisses, smiles, sighs,
and tears? Is it any wonder that poor old Adam was first
tempted, and then ruined? It is very easy for preachers
to get up with long faces and tell us he ought to have
been more of a man. My opinion is, if he had been less
of a man it would have been better for him. But lam not
agoin' to preach, so I will get back to my story; but,
Squire, I shall always maintain to my dying day that
kissing is a sublime mystery.
Here we part company from Master Sam.
A selection from his books would contain
more philosophy than is to be found in a
volume of metaphysics, and more humour than
in all the jest-books from ancient Joe down
to modern Punch.

London

Thirty Years of Foreign Policy.
Longmans.
Palmerston in Three Epochs. By Washington
Wilks. Pp. 63. London : Freeman.
[Second Notice.]
WHETHER it be accounted a merit or a fault in
Lord Palmerston, we must admit that he has
exhibited great suppleness of conduct and
opinion in the various stages of his career.
No governing principle can be detected in it
Even on the vital question of the extent to
which it is justifiable to interfere in the con•
%erne of other States, hie opinions hive often