The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1868-05-19 00:00:00

HAY MARKETS.

Ilwrarrin.D.—Moadow bay, r. 3 ss. Od. to £4 10s. Od.;
clover, 10s. Od. to EIS 6a. Out ;and straw, £1 lOs Od,
to El I6s. Od. par load. mall "PV%
CONSERLASD.—hiIIedOW bay, . to £4 10e. Od.;
slaydr. 13 10s. Od. to Its 10.. 01; and straw, £1 10.. Od.
Cl Ids. Od. par Wad. A fair trade.
WRITICHAPOL. Meadow tiny, £3 Si. Od. to
tes. Od.; slower, ES 15i.0d. totS 104. Od.; sad straw,
41104.R1 les. OIL pit load. Dared steady.

A OLLSLIMAN, riding through Chiswell, saw a board
with "Thus Cottage for Sail" painted on it. As lie was
always ready for a pleasant joke, and seekg • woman
in front of the bowie, he stopped and asked her, very
politely, "when the cottage was to nil?" "Jest as
...on as the man come, who can raise the wind," was the
quiet reply.
POPTIVG SRL QIICEITION.—" Mary, dear, oorild you
lathe your father and mother, gni trust your fate with
one who, though poor, would devote his life to your
happiness r—" yes, Charles, oh ye.."—" Well, thew,
I'll speak to my friend Tom Waldron about you. He's
going West. and would doubtless Like to make snob an
arrangement with some one." Charles barely escaped
the broom-task by a precipitate flight.
Tag Rganow WAT.—" Sir," said a fierce lawyer,
" do you, on your solemn oath, declare this is not your
handwriting ?"—" I reckon not," was the cool reply.—
"Doe, it resemble your handwriting?"—" Yea, sir, I
think it don't."—" Do you swear that it don't resemble
year handwriting?"—" Well, I do, old head."—" You
take your solemn oath that this writing does not
resemble yours in • single letter?"—" sir."—
"Now, how do you know!—" 'Cause I can't, and never
eould write."

A P P•kr.vsit.—The following lively bit of
iron-examination took place in the Court of Probate
and Divorce, in • nue for divorce on • wife's petitiou,
on the ground of cruelty. The petitioner mid she
never swore at her husband—he could swear bud
enough himself—(laughter). She had never assaulted
him exeept occasion regaired—Daushter). She meant
that she neier streak Lim except in self-defence. She
waa not in the habit of drinking whisky in her tea—
she preferred whloky neat—(renewed laughter). She
never threw • pot-lid at his head, but she had scratched
his face. All the quarrels were clamed by the son calling
her "a drunken, idle old woman," and other IMMO.
The petition was refused.

SLEEP OFF TIIY BEER.
Song for Li undithey Weather.
Be sleeps below To thy doll tense
The hawthorn'. Wade, That toadstool, rleat
Where dalnlen µTow 01,1.1. Ito offence.
His head i told. Sleep off thy beet !
There let It rent,

Until 'Us clear,
Ay, that were heat:
Stony of/ thy beer!

On bed of green,
With eat's-eyes spread,
Of sapphire sheen
With silver bleat,
Where stiteherorte white,

Wad cr.sambilltpeer,

All wart thy brow
t snail doll creep
ruhlt, for thou
Art fast .deep.
And ante explore
Thy failure. queer.
Snore on, oh, snore!
Sleep on thy beer!
'II. Sunday morn,
The tell, ring out,
Not thee to warn;
A tenipeet's shout
Would have no strength
To pierce thine ear.
Stretched out at length,
Sleep .5 thy beer!

ri;e7n;L:l;;;;;TrltreT-'
Maw off thy beer !
The blackbird Any.;

warm;
On tiny wing.
The h..vcring warm
Around thy none,
Thou .tot not hear.
What bleat rennin!
.

Thou art • eight
That tells • tele.
Thou didst, laat night,
Hare too much J.
On mows for down,
Soft pillow, here,
Thou drunken clown,
Sleep of thy beer !