The Press.
London, England, 1853-12-31 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

THE NEW FAUST.
(OUR OWN CHRISTMAS PIECE.)
Containing all the Passages suppressed by the Lord Chamber lain.

DRAMATIS PERSONA.
Musatntotis, who may be considered the type of "the People," according to the
Liberal idea of that body.

PERSONAL IMP ERSONALS.

Glom (gond, and the other thing), FAMILIARS, SPIRITS, losr. FATII, STALL-
xzErzas in Vanity Fair, APPARITIONS, PHANTOMS, NEBULIZ, and other
Impossibilities.

DATE {lst December, 1852.
Sczwz—ln, under, and over London.
TM or ACTION—UntiI the Reader has finished.

SCENE I.—THE NETHER /ETHER.
CHORUS of well-disposed Cizxn.
Sersi•Choo—A new year is dawning.
The passing year dies,
When 'neath the clouds' awning
Morn shall arise.
As we know from the heaven
The sources of light,
From the Bear and " the Seven'
The secrets of night,
We augur for mortals
Outworn with the past
That Hope's rosy portals
Are open at last.
ilmt4Phon.—O'er the earth and the ocean
Strife is supprest ;
The waves of commotion
Are sinking to rest.
The pulses of faction
At present are still'd
In a snake's stupefaction,
Benumbed if not kill'd.
To mortals our Chorus,
As usual, portends
That the new year before us
Will make them amends.
The Terrestrial amino replies front a !nicer and more nebnlaus :one :
Your carols I find
Of a fanciful kind,
As I watch o'er mankind
Incessantly present
(Though the absence of togs
Makes the prevalent fogs
More bracing than pleasant).
Unless they are aided,
I'm fully persuaded
Some peril is near.
But trust my acumen
And zeal, and no human
Has reason to fear.

The tsr,;CPS Cell,4'.

CA very unrighteous kind of SPIRIT, who has been hiding behind a cloud and
taking stuTeptitious shorthand notes, comes forward.]
UNRIGHTEOUS SMUT (laughing).
All very fine, with your cadences and choruses,
But very pretty mischief-work I'm proud to say before us is.
For Faction and false " Progress " (a title not to ftighten meant,
The original is Humbug) may work some small enlightenment.
The People, as we call 'em, are just now in condition
To undergo our treatmant with the Destinies' permission.
Ha! (looks down) something seemed to tell me that the horn• of fun
was ripe,
And there's my friend Mundungus, the People's perfect type ;
He's looking quite bewildered, and he's not himself at all ;
Most favourable symptoms—so let's open New Year's Ball.
Simko—vent, doom

SCENE IL—LEICESTER SQUARE.
[The Great Globe swells hugely up to the stars, and the minarets of the
Paneometbington stand out clear against the cold sky. Several exiled
patriots me seen at windows of hotels, taking off their shirt-fronts, in
for bed. Enter MUNDtI4OtI4, dressed like a smart Cockney.
t with three days' short, stubbly, yellow beard. in token (4 his having
joined the moustache movement. is perhaps a little excited, and
inclined to talk to himself.]
My heart misgives me. In our social state
There's rank disease ; yet our attempts of late
To remedy have only made it ranker,
Till I doubt which is worse—the cure or canker.
I had a dream which. for a dream, was glorious,—
Of peace, philanthropy, fraternity victorious.

SATURDAY,

Farewell, I said, those antiquated things,
Priests, nobles, Three per Cents., policemen, kings ;
Farewell the marriage tie, the awe parental,
The merchant's profits and the landlord's rental;
Farewell each law that free desire infringes ;
The world shall move on bran-new patent hinges.
Thus did I dream, for this I saw arrayed
The torch, the dagger, and the barricade,
And all those agencies of which " the tottle "
Must not omit JOHN MITCHEL'S vitriol-bottle.
Yet all in vain ! As lam fate's recorder,
The world, I grieve to say, pronounced for " Order."
Order—which means no cure for the disease,
But simply soldiers' pay, physician» fees,—
Older, which, if we "wait a little longer,"
Makes old-world principles a little stronger,
And, to control our aspiration, brings
The welcome safety of established things.
Climax abhorred ! of all our plots and pains,
Thus no result, no novelty remains.
Survey mankind from China to Peru,
Gospel to guano, there is nothing new.
If baffled Freedom tends her altar fires,
'Tis only thus---

An ex•Trinmvir and ex-expectant rresident pus before Mrnurrove, inhaling
penny pickwieks.]

Thus only she aspires.
Seditious eyes, that glare from sunken sockets,
And hands (not clean) thrust into puckered pockets,—
These are her legacies, nor these alone--
[A Brougham, containing a certain Russian lady, drives rapidly past.]
There rides the envoy of a northern throne,
The agent unattached, the go-between
Of NICHOLAS and his " cher ABERDEEN."
Her Cossack footman, whereso'er she stops,
Surveys with greedy eyes the glittering shops ;
Thinks what a place would London be to spoil,
And grieves that gas has superseded oil.
[Two Oratorisns pass, bracketed more st4o.]
There go the youths of whom the Pope makes handles,
To cross their vacant brows and light their candles.
For such results our patriot brains have toiled,
For Czar and Pope our patriot schemes are foiled.
I blush and fear.

Voice below the pavenient.—Who fears to speak of '4B?
Who blushes at the name? .
Alfundunglle.—Who the devil asks thus late ?
Voice.—Your servant, sir—the same.
[At these words a paving•stone is slowly lifted, and a head appears, gradually
drawing a hotly after it, which approaches Mundungus in the approved man-
ner of a Corsican Brother. The apparition explains] :-
1 fun a noted Constitution-mender,
A very old political offender;
l've not a card—my name's Diavolini ;
I'm poniard-manufacturer to Mazzini.

But to expedite matters we will dispense with verse, which Alexander
Smith has made unfashionable in partibus infidelibms. I have heard
your soliloquy. I sympathise with your lament, and I come to show
the consolation which awaits you. If you will descend with me you
shall make acquaintance with some of the affiliated. They are not so
l►lack as they are painted. [lllundungua hesitates.] The road is not so
I road or easy as it is described by the moralists ; but a warm welcome
awaits you at the end. It is a leetle foul, but I see you wear galoshes.
Don't be uneasy.

Lifundunipts remembers .Irun•lunga and tho Mundunenli; but en influence like
that of the Ancient Mariner constrains him. He descends with his con-
ductor. As his gossamer vanishes the paving-stone is self-replaced, and a
few minutes afterwards Mr. Wyld, having locked up the Great Globe for
the night, takes his stand upon the spot, and projects a commercial edition
and new arrangement of the stars. I

SCENE 111.—THE SEWERS.
[ SPIRIT hurries MiIiDrICOVE along.]
Mund.--1 don't half like these tunnels underground ;
If thaw comes on, or rain descends, we're down d.
Spirit. —Fear nothing.
Alun(l. I'm as firm as any rock—
But [uneasily; hang these rats !—they bite like one o'clock.
—l'llsend them off. L' To the Rats.] You Peelites, please to go
This is not Downing-street, as you should know.
[ The Rats take a Westminster sewer, and rwn down squeaking.

—But what's the reason ?
spirit.— Reason is an Ogress.
It's quite enough to know we're making Progress.
lismi.—That's true ! Get on ; we spurn all rule and fetter.—
I wibh that Thames, though, smelt a little better.
They dire into the rirer headforemost.

Il