The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1859-10-11 00:00:00

Yarictics.

PATRICK AND PRILIIT.--‘• Patrick, the widow
Maloney tells me that you have stolen one of her finest
pigs. Is Oat correct or not?' " Vie yer Honour."
" What have you done with it "Killed it and ate
it, yet Honour." "Oh. Patrick! Patrick ! when you
are brought face to face with the widow and her pig on
judgment-day, what amount will you be able to give of
yourvelf when the widow accuses you of gosling r
Did you say the pig would be there, yet reverence?"
"To be sure I ' "Well, then, yer reverence, I'll
say, ' Mrs. Maloney, there's yet pig.''

CHRISTIANITY IN - The missionaries in con-
ference with the Bishop of Victoria have under conside-
ration • plan for locating in the district cities a native
deacon or catechist under the supervision of an itinera-
ting European missionary. The Rev Canon Stowell
narrates the following discourse by a Chinese tailor with
reference to the relative merits of Confucinsism,
Budhiam, and Christianity ; " A man had fallen into a
deep dark pit, and lay in its miry bottom groaning and
unable to move. Confucius, walking by, approached
the edge of the pit and said, 'Pour fellow, I am sorry
for you; why were you such a fool as to get in there?
Let me give you • Piece of advice; if you ever get out
don't get in again." I can't get out' groaned the man.
A Budhist priest next Cann by and said,' Poor fellow,
I am,very much pained to see you there; I think if you
could scramble up two-thirds of the way, or even half, I
could resell you and lift you up the rest.' But the man
in the pit was entirely helpless and unable to rise.
Neat the Saviour came by, and, hearing his cries, went
to the very brink of the pit, stretched down and laid hold
of the poor wan, brought lout up awl maid, 'UO and sin
no wore." It must be admitted that this alleges 7
. _ . • . „ .

powwow the merit of nsuch unginality, while the 11111-
Nicety et its detail. readers it tally of general Dumped
MOIL

MHAVING EITATUTI. In a Parliament held at Trim
by John Talbot, Earl of iihrewsbery, then Lord-Lies-
tenant, slum 1447, 26th Henry VL, it Ina teacted
" That every Irishman must keep his upper lip shaved,
or elae be used as an In.& enemy." The Irish at this
time were much attached to the national foppery of
wearing sanatoria*, the fashion then throughout
Europe, and for more than two centuries after. The
unfortunate Paddy who became an enemy for his
heard, like an enemy was treated; for the treason
could only be pardoned by the surrender of his land.
Thus two benefits accrued to the King, kis ensure were
diminished, and his followers provided for; many of
whose darer:rats enjoy the confiscated props"' to
this day, which may appropriately be desigeated hair
breadth esters." The effects of this strati berme so
alarming, that the people submitted to the English
revolutionary Timor, and found it more reverent to
resign their beards than their lands. This agrarian law
was repealed by 11th Charles 1., after wasting 100
years.—Nefes rod Queries.
CLSOPATILA'n NICEDLC IN • DITCH. -.111 • ditch at
Alexandria there Is lying OW of the greatest curiosities
in the world It is the property of the British nation;
but the British nitre in genera does not seem to Dare
about it. The ease is different, however, with more
sections of the Burk publis who par through
in their passage to or frogs India or Australia; tie
majority bring away a portico d this
euriosity, it being
nothing more nee less than Cleepstra Needle. There
it lies in a ditch, the butt end id the shaft embedded in
the earth. The last time the writer saw it (not very
long ago) a Briton was sitting upon it, beaching or
enough of the inseribed stone for himself and fellow
travellers with a hammer. The writer expostulated
with his brother Briton, and reminded him that that
wonderful relic of bygone days did not belong to him,
but had been handsomely presented to the British
nation, and therefore belonged to it. "Well, I know
it does," ho answered, " and as one of the British nation
I mean to have my share." An officer of the Bengal.
Engineers, who ass coining home on sick leave, pro-
tested that the removal of the Needle to England was
not only feasible but comparatively, an easy teak.
"Captain (now Admiral) W. H. Smyth, of the Royal
Navy," he added, "one of the most scientific officers in
the service, who was out here for many years surveying,
on his return to England represented to the British
Government that the Needle might be essay removed,
and at a ooiupsratively smell ewe." Mehemet All geas
to ebe British this Needle, and to the Irma gm obe-
lisk now in Paris. The latter was than npvertis ofSOO
miles from Alessadria. The Prima at ones est *0
work to remove *az gift, &ed, great as the difileidlY
warn, they memo phased their trek paintly, end see the
obelisk up in their hernial CRY of Par* wham Ii
adorns the Palace de Is 00600 Ids.—Dis Ail the
Year Bowel.