The Press.
London, England, 1855-02-10 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

138

Sir CHARLES (sternly, awl putting his hand behind him): I didn't come
here to shake hands with Sir James Graham, but to report myself to
the First Lord of the Admiralty.
Sir JAMES : Ha! ha! Very good—very good. I wish Bernal
Osborne had seen that—what a capital imitation he would have given.
Excellent, my dear fellow, excellent. I suppose you have been acting
amateur plays in the Baltic ?
Sir CHARLES : Acting a farce, sir, an abominable farce, Sir James—
an atrocious abominable farce, my Lord—an outrageously atrocious
and abominable farce, Sir James Graham, First Lord of the Admiralty.
Sir JAMES (surprised) : Why, Fighting Charley, I declare I could
almost believe you in earnest !
Sir CHARLES (furious) • Don't call me Fighting Charley, sir.
None of your taunts, and scoffs, and sneers, sir. I understand you.
Sir JAMES (silkily) : If I am to understand you, my dear Admiral,
I must ask you to sit down and speak calmly and temperately.
Sir CHARLES (humps into a chair) : Very well, sir. Do as I'm bid.
Discipline's everything. You're on your own quarter-deck here, and
have a right to give orders. Now then.
Sir JAMES (blandly) : The initiative is palpably with yourself, my
dear Sir Charles. _ _

Sir CHARLES : Hang your initiatives and your palpabilities too,
air, if you come to that. I'm a plain man, sir, and an old salt, sir.
Sir JAMES (maliciously): Salt which we rather hoped to put upon
the tail of the Russian eagle—but Fate decreed it otherwise.
Sir CHARLES: Fate, sir. No such thing, sir. Don't talk like a
d—d wicked Atheist, sir. Fate had nothing to do with it. You
didn't want to hurt the Russians—nothing of the kind. You wanted to
hurt me, and to spoil my reputation with the people of England. Aud
so you sent me with big ships to shallow waters, and wished me to
get the ships knocked to smash against stone walls, and I wouldn't.
That's the chat, sir, as the Irish say; and Fate had no more to do with
it than my—my cocked hat.
Sir JAMES (smiling): Ah ! cocked hat. A happy illustration. The
very one, I recollect, which you used so amusingly after our delightful
dinner in Pall-mall. It was into a cocked hat that you were so good
as to say you intended to knock Cronstadt.
Sir CHARLES: Never said anything of the kind.
Sir JAMES: My dear friend, you do yourself injustice. You will
next tell me that you did not offer that spirited alternative between
St. Petersburg and another quarter, as a locality you would visit in
six weeks from the time of sailing.
Sir CHARLES : If every fellow's speeches after he's shipped his
grog are to be overhauled against him, I don't know that you would
come off particularly well, my Lord. I don't very well recollect it
myself ; but I read in the papers next day that after our Reform
dinner you got up and said, says you. " Declare war !" says you.
Sir JAHES: You are quite right, my dear Admiral, and bygones
had better be bygones. Nemo mortalium omnibus harts sapit.
Sir C.IARLES : Yon're another.

Sir JAMES (bewildered): Another what, my dear fellow?

Sir CHARLES: What you called me. I don't know what it was,
not speasing Greek myself, but I give you as good as you bring.
Now, what are you going to do for me, that's what I want to know.

Sir JAMES (pleasingly): Well, my dear Admiral, you have so
completely done for yourself that I hardly see what there is left
to us.

TERMS OF

No more to country squires to tell
How Riot Acts are to be read ;
My future task the rows to quell
Of " Happy Families" instead !

of inquiry on the deportation of Irish paupers from
England.
Mr. CRAUFURD having demanded if it was true that
the Board of Admiralty had censured aid dismissed
Admiral Napier,
Admiral BERKELEY replied that they had done
neither the one nor the other. He greatly regretted
the speech of his old friend at the Mansion-house.
He had not been, as he had stated, goaded on to
attack the Baltic fortresses, nor prevented from
attacking them, neither had he been told that the
country expected him to perform against the enemy
what he could not perform. He was grieved to con-
sider it his duty to state the high disapproval of the
Admiralty at such conduct. He complained of the
Board of Admiralty, when he should have considered
if his own conduct towards his superiors was setting
a proper example to those under him, whether it
would secure the confidence of his officers, or was
becoming in one who assumes the command of a
fleet in conjunction with our allies.
A vote on account of two millions wai then taken,
together with a few supply votes, and the House
adjourned till Friday next.

ADELPHI—A piece of interminable length—two
prologues and three agits—has been brought out at
this theatre with tolerable success. It is quite
beyond the narrow space of our columns to criticise
a drama—and an Adelphi drama—which embraces
three distinct leading periods of action, to say no•
thing of the mass of heterogeneous incidents which
compose the plot. The piece, however, was success-
ful, every character being well acted. Mme. Celeste,
first as the mother, then as the daughter, supports
her double part most effectively, while Mr. Webster,
as a morose and drunken villain, acts the character
to perfection, and Keeley, as a goldsmith's apprentice,
loving and stupid, excites much more laughter than
interest in his pathetic grief. The drama is well
put upon the stage, and the scenes of the Foundling

SATURDAY,

Sir CUARLEs : None of your scoffs, I tell you, air. I'll let the
country know all about you. Hang me if I don't throw myself upon
the country, sir. Everybody knows that a Napier can du everything,
and that on sea, on shore, in politics, and everywhere else, a Napier is
infallible. You know that, I suppose, sir?
Sir JAMES : The public is aware of the fact, Sir Charles, from
repeated advertisements to that effect, emanating from those who
ought to be best informed on the subject.
Sir CHARLES : Yes, sir ; and if you had given me the proper means
of attack, the Emperor Nicholas would at this moment have been
scratching a bear with his toothpick on the plaster of his dungeon in
the Tower. Do you hear that, sir—a bear, sir?
Sir JAMES ((tauntingly): I hear a bear, Admiral. Did you ever
hear an old canny proverb about a bad workman always finding
fault with his tools ? Not that it has anything to do with our present
business ; indeed, I hardly know what has.
Sir CHARLES : Then I'll tell you, sir. You're out in you; reckon-
ing—plaguily out—if you think I'm going to hold my tongue about
this Baltic affair. Still, if you have anything to say—do you understand
me—now's your time, sinart's the word, and quick's the motion None
of your sea-lawyer talk, you know, but to the point.
Sir JAMES : My dear Sir Charles, I really don't know that I have
anything to say to you—except--yes—you're just come to town—go
and see Robson in the Yellow Dwarf—l'm told it's the best thing in
the world. _ _ _ . _

Sir CHARLES (in a fury) : Is that your ultimatum, sir?
Sir JAMES (warming himself at there): I'm afraid that's the best I
can do for you, Fighting Charley. y the way, what a sad pity that
your deserved popularity was not sufficient to get you in for Marylo
bone ; we might have—but it's no use speculating ou the past.
Sir CHARLES (rising): Very well, sir; very well. We shall meet at
Philippi.
Sir JAMES : I think hardly. My people tell me that they don't
want to travel on the Continent this year ; the lakes, I fancy, will be
our route. _

Sir Casaiss : I'll expose you—l'll skin you—l'll scarify you! I'll
blow you out of the water, sir !
Sir JAMES (meekly): As you did Cronstadt, Admiral !
Sir CHARLES l'in going to dine with Moon, the Mayor, in a few
days, and see if I don't have it all out.
Sir JAMES (smiling): Well, he is Conservator of the River Thames,
so you'll he brothers in arms. You can tell him how you went swan-
hopping in the Baltic—ha ! ha!

[Exit Sir Cats Lao, furiously .

FAREWELL TO THE POLICE.
What should Ido here? D—n it, tbey have made a policeman of me ?—Saying of Lord
P— as often as he entered the Home-offiee.

Farewell! ungenial task to break
Sagacious tricksters projects through.
Farewell! myself I now betake
To prospects—'stead of clothing—blue.

Hospital in Paris, and the Criminal Court in Lon-
don, were both close and clever imitations
MARYLEBONE.—A new drama from the pen of
Mr. W. B. Bernard, entitled Leon of the Iron Mask,
was brought out at this theatre in the course of the
week, and with great success. It is spoken of as
being well written, but prolix.
Mils. FANNY KEMBLE on Monday evening gave
her first reading of the Midsummer Night's Dream
at Exeter•hall. Mendelssohn's magnificent music,
under the direction of M. Benedict, accompanied the
reading, which was rendered by Mrs. Kemble with
true poetic feeling. The hall was well attended, and
the entertainment, highly successful, is, we believe,
to be repeated upon future Monday evenings.

CARDINAL WIN/MAN.—In his voyage from Civita Vec
cilia to Marseilles, the cardinal and the whole of his
fellow-passengers had a very narrow escape from being
all lost. When off the island of Hyeres the passengers
were startled about two in the morning by a fearful crash,
of such extreme violence that it appeared as if the ship
was at once going to pieces. It was evident that either
the ship had run aground or that a collision had taken
place. The passengers, who were all in bed, immediately
rushed upon deck, when it was discovered that the vessel
had come into collision with a large aailing•ship, with
which she was still in contact, the anchor of the vessel
having got fixed in the bows of the steamer. A short
period of painful suspense ensued. The starboard bow of
the steamer had been stove in, the whole of the bulwarks
and the paddle-box were destroyed, and for a moment it
was thought that the vessel was sinking. On trying tht
pumps, however, it was found that the leakage was not tic
great that it could not be kept down. The other ship had
also suffered, but not so much as the steamer. After get-
ting rid of the wreek,the engineers set about repairing the
damage done to the engines, and in four hours were OA
to set one to work, which brought the vessel into Mar
seilles in the course of the day. Fortunately the weather
was very tine, or a great loss of life might have been tht
consequence, for the vessel was in a very crippled state,
and the boats would not have contained one•fourth of the
passengers.