The Press.
London, England, 1855-04-07 00:00:00

THE PRESS.

APRIL 7, 1855.

may have helped to rouse him from his Star• Chamber dream and
remind him that he is an English judge of the latter half of the
nineteenth century.

Some amusement has been created in the metropolis by the
lecture on the English poets, delivered at the Marylebone Institution
by Sir ROBERT PEEL, who seems bent on gaining for himself notoriety
without much caring of what kind it be. According to the opinions
expressed by him, the present invasion of the Crimea is to avenge the
crimes of the Empress CATHERINE, who had murdered the Khan of the
Crimea in 1769 !

THE CABINET EASTER HOLIDAY TASKS.

♦ FRAGMENT.

Palmerston sat in the Premier's chair,
Lansdowne and Molesworth and Grey were there,
Many an Earl's bright star did glister,
But Vernon Smith was the only Mister,
The rest were all Lords of high degree--
In sooth a right Whiggish company.
You might search about you for many a week
Ere you'd find such a nice little family clique.

Lansdowne's tales of ancient Whigs,
" Wild bloods unlike your modern prigs ;"
Pam's stern maxims, grave and sage,
And quiet dignity of age ;
The deep thought of my Lord Carlisle,
Vernon Smith's unstudied smile,
Cranworth's subtle legal sense,
Argyll's winning diffidence,
Granville's proud patrician air,
Molesworth's unaffected stars,
Panmure's promptitude and readiness,
Grey's undeviating steadiness,
Cornewall's light wit, Charles Wood's acumen,
The unknown worth of t'other two men,*
Contributed to form a coterie
Not the least pompous, dull, or pottery.

The Premier rose :—" My Lords (quoth he),
And Mr. Smith, attend to me.
The Easter holidays are come,
Some of you will, of course, go home.
Good. Easter is a time of year
All should observe. (Good Hobbes, don't jeer.)
But to avoid a fresh jobation,
Such as we caught the last vacation,
When all the papers made such bustle,
Abusing me and Lord John Russell,
I must forbid all random speeches—
You'll say but what your leader teaches.
And first, t• set a good example,
Of my own change I'll give a sample.
I'll go to Romsey, and entreat
For pardon, standing in a sheet,
And holding in my fist a candle,
That foes may have no further handle
For calling me " a worse than Arian."
(Molcsworth, don't laugh, you Nothingarian.)
My Lords, and Mr. Smith, I grieve
Lord John's in Austria on leave ;
His absence we must all deplore,
You very much, but I still more.
(Charles Wood, you're really too provoking ;
Why need you laugh? lam not joking.)
If he were hero I'd send him down
To make a speech in Bedford town ;
And to the Bristol Athentnum,
Where folks are always glad to see him.
And in this speech I'd not permit
Lord John to boast or brag one bit ;
Lord Somers' name should not be uttered,
Nor Bedford's ducal house be buttered ;
Nor Agincourt, with bland facility,
Be claimed as won by Whig nobility.
He is not here, but you that are
See ye say naught of peace or war.
If country neighbours ask with wonder
Of this or that official blunder,
Just shrug your shoulders, hint the sin
Rests with those out, not with us in ;
Tell them to freely vent their spleen
On Newcastle and Aberdeen—
A living ass, you know, 'tis said
Is better than a lion dead—
And as I've saved you all"

But here
Some words were whispered in his ear.
" The Presence I—Ye3, I'll follow you.
My lords—and Mister Smith—adieu."

* Lords Canning and Harrowby. The former is, I bcliere, Pobtmaster•Gbneral,
What on earth is the ether ? Dbes in 7 one know ?

329

THE LATE bIARYLEBONE LECTURE—" AN
EVENING WITH THE POETS."
(Freely Reported in the Manner of the late Jonathan Swift.)
To the savans sage of Marylebone, quoth the Admiralty Lord,
What " a channel for expression" (loth " sublimity " afford ;
And useful, too, to liberty you'll very often find
Of poetry and politics a gentle dose combined
(I beg your pardon, Mr. Bell, the allusion's undesigned).
Just see how " Rule Britannia" will a Briton's courage raise,
Though " Nelson and the North," I fear, don't suit us now-a-days ;
And as Napoleon's corning let us not forget the praise
Of the little ehaunt he loves to hoar they call the " Marsellaise."
And now you see these foreign chaunts a gauche man might omit,
But I wish, like Longinus, to describe and be a wit.
Passing Shakepearo by, and Milton, and the famous epics ton,
We are driven into politics, willy nilly, once again ;
For the dullest must perceive that, when my lecture's got so far,
The next appropriate subject is of course the Russian war.
And as, to Lord Pam's great content, I spoke lately of the Poles,
I must again express the hope your liberal breasts consoles,
That we'll have a Polish Diet making rows and war once more
When Austria on the subject kindly ceases to feel sore.
I speak this as myself, " Snug the joiner," you perceive;
For to hold his own opinions each Minister has leave.
And now, as all the poets through I have got so speedily,
I'll tell you how I once was nearly foundering at sea,
And how at Barcelona were " six bullets at my head "
As Byron says so properly, " And why not lead to lead ? "
But now, as at the Admiralty " a second life " I'll lead,
To rush into such dangers I shall never more have need.
And therefore, of myself as I have nothing more to tell,
I only wait the vote of thanks—Come, wake up, Jacob Bell.

THIRD DESPATCH FROM THE GREAT
PLENIPOTENTIARY.
TO THE RIGHT lION. THE VISCOUNT PALMERSTON.
VIENNA, March 28.
MY DEAR Loan,—l write in an extreme state of agitation, of which
uncertainty forms the largest element. lam not sure whether, to use
the vulgar phrase, I have been and done it, or whether I have nobly
asserted my reputation as a true British statesman. Anyhow, I have
shut up the Conference for the time being.
I told you that, for reasons, I had a good deal given up the
management of the discussions to Baron Bourqueney, partly because
I fancied that the others understood his French better than mine, and
partly because I wished to come in with effect, and with a kind of
bang, when the knot should be worthy of the god.—(Hor. Art. Poet.)
Baron Bourqueney completely understood my views, and it is
due to him that I should say that he acquitted himself with great
ability, suavity, and caution. He acquiesced, with a frankness which
evidenced great tact, in all the smaller propositions put forth by
Russia, and, to a certain extent, countenanced by Austria, but he never
allowed himself to be led into undue admissions. For instance, when
Count Gortschakoff remarked that it was very cold, the Baron imme-
diately allowed thatisuch was the case ; but when M. Titoff added,
craftily, " Certain armies find it colder in the Crimea," and Count Buol
(with less reservation than he ought to have shown) added "No
doubt," the Baron instantly replied, " We will hope that our men keep
up a good fire." The Count at once saw that his discouraging hint
had no moral effect, and that the allies were firm.
The negotiations upon the third point were commenced with a
gravity worthy of the occasion. All felt, though no one said, that our
conference was now reaching a crisis.
The formal phrases of the article having been read, Count
Gortschakoff bowed slightly, and said that " it seemed all right," to
which M. Titoff, who speaks English abominably, and delights to jest in
the language, added, "And tight." These two words convinced me,
my dear Lord, that the affair was up. The Russians would never have
permitted themselves this levity had they been addressing themselves
to business in earnest. But I still maintained the arrangement be-
tween myself and the Baron Bourqueney ; I sit next to him, and
the kick which I gave him as an intimation that things were going
wrong must have been more In accordance with the emotion I expe-
rienced than with the forbearance due to an ally, for it elicited from
him an impatient expression, to which I need not further advert.
The Count Buol looked at the Baron and myself with an affecta-
tion of pleased surprise. I met his gaze with a stern expression, the
Baron, more used to artificial society, with a designedly hollow
smile.
" And when," said the Baron, politely turning to Count Gortscha-
koff, " may Toulon expect the pleasure of beholding your Imperial
Master's fleet in its way to the Baltic or elsewhere?
" I interfere but little with the Admiralty," returned the Count,
carelessly, " add they never tell the anything."