The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1874-07-18 00:00:00

A SINGULAR MEMORIALIST.

On Sunday anus" having the appearance of an artisan,
and who represented himself to be a shipwright, residing
at Uxbridge, made his way to Windsor Castle, and first
accosted one of the sentries, informing him that he
desired to forward a letter to the Duchessof Edinburgh.
He was referred to the officer of the guard, and
thence to the commanding officer at the barracks, who
sent him to the borough magistrates, and final'y
he found himself with Mr. Hayes, the chief superin-
tendent of Police, who, after listening to his tale, con-
sidering that he was one of those eccentric persons
who are frequently endeavonring to obtain interviews
with menoers of the Royal Family, advised him to
return to Uxbridge, and kindly paid his fare. It ap-
peared that the man was anxious to present the follow- From a parliamentary return just published we gather the
lug letter to the Duchess of Edinburgh, relating to the following particulars :-
court-martial on Admiral Randolph, who was honour- In the year ending the 30th of last September there
ably acquitted on Saturday :-- were in England 2,522 common brewer., consuming
"To her Royal Highness Marie, Dnchess of Edinburgh.- 39,443,682 bushels of malt; in Scotland there were 75,
Illustrious lady,-Mayhap you will pardon an humble ship- consuming 2,570,501 bushels; and in Ireland 74, con-
wright, who this day dares call your attention to a court- munine 3,519 790. There were in the three kingdoms
martial being hell at Plymouth during the past two days on -.- I.
a generous, circumspect, and distinguished Admiral in 99,061 victuallers, consuming 7,510,485 bushels; 40,701
which another gallant young officer, Captain Adeane, ex- persons licensed to sell beer to be drunk on the premises,
Galatea and Nareissus, is implicated. In the year MP eon:smiling 3,682,183 bushels ; and 3,042 pers no licensed
the Russian corvette-ii I remember distinotly-Demmitz to sell beer not to be drunk on the premises, consuming
/masks:: went on shore and was compelled to put into 458,993 bushels. Of the victuallers 18,686 brew their
Simon's Bay disabled. At that time Commodore Ran- own beer, and of the beer sellers 8,572 do so.
dolph unshipped her guns sad stores, which were stored
In Her Majesty's Dockyard, while she was drawn 'l 'here were in all 59,194,089 bushels of malt made, the
up to the patent slip, amid extreme difficulty and danger, duty charged being I:8,027,408 ss. sid. The quantity
for examination and repair, at the aide risk of the aforesaid of beer exported from England was 526,481 barrels ;
officer, who declared to the Russian captain that, aboulti from Scotland, 51,216 barrels; and from Ireland,
she become a wreck, be would replace her to your great 2.915 barrels. The total value of the whole being
father with another ship. Humble as I am, having £2,385,306. Of this the greater part went to British
travelled, served, and angered, I am the man known as
' Little Chips,' who was ordered to 'Bann up on her side and India. New South Wales stands next, then the
see what she is made of.' She was then thoroughly repaired, United States, Victorja, the West India Islands
and launched with more difficulty than drawn up, though British, the West lA.ia Islands Spanish, British
the ship bars snapped again and again as carrots. To en- possessions in South Africa, Peru, British North
dean our to picture en idea of the risk attached to that launch, America, and Brazil -in the order we have named.
another British shipwright, your humble servant, with six Of the continental nations, France took 9,343 barrels,
strongest men of the Russian crew, brought two screws
muter her forefoot, while the rest of her men rushed fore mid Germany 7,360, Belgium 4,877, and Russia 4,622.
aft her decks in order to shake her, while others used a hilk
of timber as a ram on her bow. The position in which
Admiral Randolph is now placed must be thy salient apology PROPOSITIONS FOR JULY EXAMINA-
for thus daring to address you as the daughter of All the I
Russias, and throuxh you. I trust, my beloved Sovereign ! TIONS.
lady. I have the honour, tke , PETER GRIBBIN, ex Woolwich I Given, Fleet-street, at 4 o'clock, p.m.-To find the
and Portsmouth Dockyards and ships Pearl and Bareo,sa. shwiy.
address, if required, Peter Gribbin, boat builder, post office,
Given, eleven big women inside an omnibus-To find
Windsor."
room for the twelfth.
1 Given, a bottle of claret, a bottle of soda-water, a
lemon, and sugar-To find the cup.
IGiven, an upper box at a theatre-To find any one
.
Now that the "tourist season" is commencing, we cool enough to use it.
think that we may do some service (says the Pall Mali Given, hot roast pork To find an appetite.
(G, iven, the Royal
Given, next month-To find any one in Town.
Academy-To fin d your umbrella.
Gazette;-at least, we may try to do it-by recommend-
. ti.
ond the Old Kent-
lug managers of railways to issue their tickets in an
road.
expanded form. The wretched little bits of pasteboard Glven, Shepherd's Bush-1
at present presented to the public in exchange for heavy ,
Given, a list of the theatres-To find anything but
pay menh:of money are not only liable to be lost duringa
month of touring-a contingency which may be avoided French plays.
by care, and for which the holder is responsible- , Given, Rosherville-To find a happy day.
but to be snipped away by railway functionaries in the Given, Sloper-To find your pocket-handkerchief
course of his peregrinations. The continual cry of afterwards.
Given, Wimbledon-To find a cool place to smoke a
"Shiny your tickets," followed by the process of
snipping, reduces after a time the narrow dimensions of cigar.
the ticket to a IninilunM of tangibility, and effaces all Iliven, twopence-To find a better comic paper than
its recognisable properties. A correspondent, urging Juni". - Judy.
this matter on our attention, writes:-" I fell in
last year with a man who was proprietor of a
first-dass ticket for a 'circular tour,' through South
and North Wales. One-half of his tieket had
already been conti.cated, no that only a wretched bit
of card that a shilling would nearly have covered re-
mained to him. And this miserable residum was
gradually being snipped away into nothing. Between
Carmarthen and Bangor (to speak within the mark) it
was snipped nine or ten times. The owner was a mild,
lymphatic sort of gentleman, and all his pleasure
seemed to be marred by an increasing dread lest the
whole of his ticket should be snipped away, and that
on his return to London he should have nothing to
show. There was very little of it left at Bangor. Now
pasteboard is not dear, and the issue of larger tickets
to tourists would not surely ruin the shareholders."
THE DERBY MEMORIAL STATUE.

This terminated the proceedings, but the company
remained for some time crowding roiled the Statue
and admiring " the bronzes that relieve the pedestal,'
which are certainly not the least interesting portions
of the " Memorial.'