The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1868-02-04 00:00:00

rarittirs.

le
very... 7 to be offended vith the poor and week.
Give • wise mut health, sod 14 wil, wean
everything e 1...
Wig AND WII•IL —M•rr, &Pllli Ijll. Thirty yeere
hence she will be u pretty as ever.

A doll cley end an empty petite*, and Wine in love,
affect n non's 'pints m-nt eerion-le.

Josh. Blimp may.: "To bring up a cliild in the
way I e s'inuld go, travel that way yourself."
"Yoe &se a little bear, madsm," said her own
" Brute" to a belle at an evening pert,.—' Sir !"
exclaimed the diamayed one. —"About the shoulders, I
mean."

A Weymouth editor, who, with a single boy, does all
the cork of his AU..., says he does not know how
he eon shorten his expenses, unless be cats off the
boys' legs.

A Li ST ATE SW AM.— An advertieement
announces a letter from Earl Russell to the Ri4ht
Non. Chichester Forrevone on the state of Ireland.
Who is E^gland's in et notorious man of letters?
Surely Earl Rumen. —PwarA.
A French wit says that the gibbet is a @poems of
flattery to the human ra,e. Three or fonr limns are
hung, fr,sm time to time. for the porpoise of nuking the
rest believe they an, r,rtu,oe.
Two milor• were sitting on the gunwale of their
shin dinkier vort,—" This is meat and drink,"
said Jack; and he fell overboard while he was drinking.
—"Now you're got wishing eel lodging," coolly re-
marked Tom.
A Ni. ADVFATISTWO METIMIL —An Ohio paper mu-
tains an advvrii•ment of an enterprising tradesman,
who, at the end of it announers Ministers supplied
with goods at cost price. if they agree to mention the
feet to thvir congregations."

A Qoaker gentleman, riling in • earring. with •
findrionarle I oly, cited with • p,ofnai, n
heard her ii.mplain of the cold. :Shivering in her I.oe
bonnet and ah•wl, ea light ria • cobweb. ah• "zelaimed.
" What shall I dn to aet warm!"—" I really don't
know," replied the Qaalter, et. "onles,thee should
put on. new hr. a.t pin."

Tut Got.DEn Acs —Mr. Trnnyson. our popolsr Poet
Lamvate, t hner from • firm of w.ll know pnhliehers
the -urn nt LI 000 for twelve short pa ms. This is in
harmony with the poet's own nt,eranoes on the subject
of E u. d
and

The poet In • ullen clime Iran born ;"

Every moment, lightly ghaken, ran itself In golden aandn."
—Judy.

THZ THISTLZ FOR FRT.—It is said th•t ws hays
scotched the snake of Fenisni•rn, not killed it. Wass
pity thst we e•nnot Scotsh ite!snd rattor wore, erd
then ti Pre would he 110 such snake at the Fenian to
want killing —P 'ON

Sr RTIr4G FCCLEMASTICAL INTWLLIGINC7.-04/1141CCIII.

lion of New 13,•h0p fr NeWal.—Thit merry little •ffair
*ill come if hote. C•n't m•nage it on the ola
gr,und °I account of the wit horiti,i being too downy
Vs., tip will be given to the kno•inn once at the Mitre,
L•mbeth. Information as to the time end place to be
obtained he the fanoy from the editor of the Guardian,
the Mimed Teeter, and other bite eoehriattioal oporting
Joanne.* The eoloor• of the day ean be now pnrcbseed.
Caere* Tiniss.ofßee. Pork's the word.—Putica.

A clergyman asked a Croy fellow leaning against the
fens where he expected to go when he died. "If I
can't get along any better than now," said be, "I shan't
go nowhere."

" What do you mean by • eat and dog lifer said a
husband to his angry wife. "Look at CAIIO and Kitty
ulesp on the rut together : I wish men Heel hall u
reue.ibly with Vieir Stop," ...id the lady:
" tie them toip tbsr, and see how they will agree."
AIIifIRDITIVI OP HUNAN LIII.--Not to go to bed
when you we sleepy, became, it is not a c.ert•in how;
to •tansl in water no to your knees fishing for trout,
when you can buy them in a clean, dry market: people
of exquisite sensibility, who cannot bear to meson animal
pat to death, showing the utmost attention to the
•iriety and ahundanee to their tab'es; th• heir of on
•WariCioni uncle paying him the compliment of Liu
dupeit mourning! the lovely widow of a grnal old man
wearing we'd., wid the gay survivor of a rich old threw
beint particular in the choice and displii• of him weepers ;
to bny horse of • near relation, and belisve word
he says in praise of the snim•l he in duirous to dispose
; to toll a man hospitable who hie vanity by
displaying his service of plate to his rich neighbours
frequently, hut who is never known to give &dinner to
any one rsally in want of it.

A capital story is told of • recent Church Rate riised
in K. nt. A leading farmer of the parish having refused
to pay, the olatrehwardens reaolved to make an
ezainiple of him. A summons Ira, therefore talt.n out
against the fariner, and in dos course a warrant ol
distress lodged in the hands of the officer, from whom he
was informed he might en pant a visit in • day or two. One
farmer armordingly took the precaution of removing
from his yard •Il the stock which it would be incon-
venient ta have sold enter each disadvantagemm
circumstances as a Church Rate auction. A sow
hanpening to weeder into the premises, was. however,
suffered to remain. end the bailiffs and police hauled It
off in triumph. The animal was presently sold fur
about a third of its 'aloe, and the churchwarden wafted
upon the farmer with the trillinit surplus that remained
after tirdootiog the rate and the costa "I told you,"
said he to the deliniuent, " I atoold be obliged to wake
an example of you; this is what comes of disobeying
the law " "Ah f" replied the farmer, "they'., sold
Tour old sow, so you had better keep the balanos."
No need to picture the chagrin of the honest church.
warden, who had thus "made an exampl' of himself.

TIT FOR TAT
We were two children In one house,
She w s aa meek aa the mildeet moues,
The time had come for a midnight spike
When we were over our jokes and wine,
She mattered hone-hair chopped up Sae.
0! the girl sat lair to see!

She laughed, well.pleseed with what she'd draw
She played the dreadful trek fur fun.
The time hid rune for • midnight wee !
lay awake! And ateuek • match,
Fur didn't the horrible horse-hair aerateh.
0! the girl was falr to see !

I made a no.! I laid a snare !I
And crept quite softly on the st•ir,
The hour had comm. for. midnight agree I,
And after dinner from her bed
I stole the pillow for her head.
0 ! the girl ea. fair to see !
I tack the dredger full of flour,
The pillow powdered for on hour
The time had c et* for a midnight epres!
I hated her for her cru I eel,
She trued her tresses piping well.
0 ! the girl WWI fair to see !
She slept MTerlei) all that, night,
But sv..ke up In a dreadful fright ;
The time had come for a midnight none !
When hdr awake she neared the glass,
She uttere I naughty words, alas !
0, the girl was fair to 'se!
She brusti'd and comb'd her floury heed,
" 111 never get it out," she said,
The time had come for a midnight spree !
MY deep revenge shill n.d forget.
I think she may be brushing yet!
0' the girl was bur to eee ! —Pb..
PRATING A 11.00 D. - aro told of the pronto ceder the
Fismbletion Hills. Yorkshire, that "they are very
superstitions and &lofty. say their evening prayers aloud
that the Devil may hear them and they be safe for the
night." No., in Math Ado abort No/anyt. Let It.,
flo,ne 1, there is some reference to say rig prayers
aloud :

" Renedlet.—Well, I would von dld ilk. mu
" Ilargaret.-80 would not I for your own lake, for I here
many ill qualitiee.
Rene —Whio le one !
. .

muir ) my prayerialoud
" *4n.—l hvo you the better. The Minn my .17
AMC." - .

---
Dees this custom no. prevail elsewhere is Great
Britain. er is there any mention of it in oar GM liters-
tare ? From "Notes end Queria."
FATE AND IFIGTJBE&

Lquis Phalli.* ascended the
throne of Treace lo 1830.
1330 1830 1830

ILonia Nspolio was pro.
Entwror in 1852.
1852 1852 1852

E FA I

I i 4
I 1 1
z k
i i
.5 Al

0 9 9
g. Ia &
4 2
.2 :I

1848 1848 1848
Louis Plsllip• adic•tod is
11148.

1 1169 ma ises
Query: Rawer Napitia
ia 11110.