The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-06-07 00:00:00

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HOME, FOREIGN, AND COLONIAL

MORBID SUSCEPTIBILITY.—Mi,tre., : "How
is it you came home from your party on early last
night, Susan? Didn't you enjoy yourself ?"—Susan
"Yes, Ma'am. But the Young Man as took me bin
to supper insulted me "—Mistress " Insulted von,
Susan I Why, what did he say ?"—Susan : "Yes,
Ma'am. He asked me if my Prograni was full; and
I'm sure I never :ad nothing but a sandwich an I a
glass of lemonade, so I come away home."—Punch.
POLITE ATTENTIONS ! The, Court suit of
Prince Esterhazy Wa9 covered with pearls, and was
estimated at a quarter of a ; the Shah's is
etudded with diamond and emeralds. The tradition
runs that the ladies of those days generally contrived
to corner the Prince at the levees, and to engage him
in conversation while their confederates were operating
upon him with a penknife, and a pair of scissors. The
result was that the Prince so often returned from
Court short of his buttons that he at last asked to be
nelieved of is mission and to return home. The Shah
will find this generation improved in that respect, if
history le trae, but foe the honour of oar dear old
grannies we will write it down as false, and only to be
regarded, as too frequentky is the ease, as anecdotal sod
pour rice.

Incomz Tax.—An Inland Revenue return
shows the gross annual value of property and
profits assessed to income tix in the two years
ending the sth of April, 1870, and the sth of ApriL
1871. Under Schedule A the amount was £146,526,171
in the year 166970, and £152,463,197, in 1870-71;
under Sdiedule 11, £58,007,418 in 1869-70, Mill
£59,124.912 in 1870-71 ; under Schedule C, £85,700,480,
in 1869-70, and £38,118,540 in 1870 71 ; under Schedule
D. £178,378,696 in 1869 70, and £189,0-4 567 in
1873-71; antler Schedule E, £26,301,463 in 1869 70,
and £26,861,390 in 1870 7L The amount under Sche-
dule D includes £34,626.936 in 1869-70, and £37,422,626
in 1870-71, which ..refore 1866 would have Leen classed
under Schedule A, being for profits of railways, mines,
gasworks, canals, and other like undertakings.

"REASON IN WOMAN."' Youlw Wife :
"George, dear, I've had a talk with the servants this
morning, and I've agreed to raise their wages. They
said everything was so dear now—meat we, SO high,
and coals had risen to such a prioe, and everything
I thought this was reasonable, because I've so
often heard you complain of the same thing.—Punch.
JOSH BILLINGS ON PARTRIDGES. —The par-
tridge is also a game bin). Their game iz tew drum
on a log in the spring of the year, and keep both eyes
open, watching the sportsmen. Partridges are shot ou
the wing, and are an easy to mins az a ghost in. It iz
plum enuff to see the old bird Mile her yung brood
when dancer in near. This must be seen, it kant be
described, and make enny buddy beleave it. The par-
tridge, grouse, and pheasant are cousins, and either
one or them straddle a gridiron natural enufftew have
been born there. Take a couple of ring partridges
and pot them down, and serve tip with the right kind
ov a chorus, and they beat the ham sandwich yu buy
on the Camden and Amboy Railroad 87i per cent. I
have eat these lamentabel No Jersey ham sandwich,
and must ma that I prefer a couple of bass wood chips,
soaked in mustard water, and sink together with
Spalding's glue.

ADVERTISING PLIZZLIS. —Hoye are a few of
the advertising puzzles from the column of The Times
devoted to these oddities :
"Bp th'-Whip, mirage. Whet tired if to
be buried, let me not bleed Co death-, Imo*, but not a
lancet chivalry forbid. Oh, dowbfall of Carthage." "Right
and Will.—Trusted, and the harrier. went up, and darknese
fell. Gloom worse than ever. What Is the cause Faith
struggles." " Saturday —Silence —What do you mO5O,
Utter humiliation, and likely to cost ma dearor than you
guess Did that hasty go beyond you 1 Lot me know di.
Badly at once. If did not must repeat to Madam." it
41 toe. K —Must leave London to-day for a fortnight.
Have received no answers from you. Bouquets, Jewellery,
and letters, all returned, cruelly, with letters unopened.
Still with 57. 33. S. Pray give it up, end my solicitor will
settle what you wish to mske you happy. Acknowledge
having seen thin—Army and Nay."
TEETOTAL TATTLE. —" Don't be a fool r was
the reply of a Professor of Pillow., to a person who
asked him whethtr prosperity of the liquor trade was
not always accompanied by tightness in the money-
market. The announcement of the fact that no less
than 228,000.000 of the national income is derived from
the duty on "intoxicating liquors,' has suggested (6 new
synonym for the state which moults from the abuse of
these generous beveragee. As the Member for a
Northern Constituency and a repregentative of rational
people were conversing in a greet contigious to the
House of Commons, a working-man approached them,
walking zigzag, and enquired the way to WeAtuinsier
Bridge. 'Straight 1104 you can go," answered the
more pr. tical Member, and, turning to his companion,
'added, "That fellow, you are, Sir Wilfrid, has beet(
contributing to the lteyenue."--Punch.

- .
Tut MoDoe WOMEN.—A correspondent of
the San Francisco Chronicle writes :

"You do us grave injustice in remarks about killing
segiawl. They were killed In the light—one at leant—and
the only one killed by soldiers. They fight like devilr, load
guns, and are an dangerous as the bucks, and should share
the same fate. No squaws have been killed net of battle.
Four are now fed and protected at this camp, tale- n since the
tight was ended. They will not he hornet, though at the
lint chance they will flee to the Moines withering aid ammu-
nition. In the event Cl another fight, they woull return to
our lines to do the same thing over again. Ittoneniber, they
are not white women, but fiends, guilty of torturing and
murdering every wounded soldier who fell in their hands
and of horribly mutilating the dead. Remember the fate
of the soldier of the 21st Infantry, wounded and left on the
held of battle on the 171 h of January. The squaws tortured
him in every conceivable way all nlgnt long, until death put
an end to his sufferings in the morning. Thia they admitted
to he so during the interval employed in making peace efforts.
Don't waste any sympathy on such fiends, for it will be
possible to expect a soldier to spare one of them on the
field."

TRIBUTE TO TOM BROWN.-- In great attempts
'tis glorious e'en to fail. 'Ti. not in mortals to com-
mand rumens. But we'll do more, Sempronius, we'll
deserve it. Let due credit be given to Totn Brown, for the
Betting Bills which he has unsuccessfully introduced.
Mr. Hughes aims at the abolition of betting altogether.
You cannot wash a Blackamoor white, although, as
regards betting, you may make a clean Sweep of
It.-- Punch,

A SPECTRE SPANIEL.—The ancient Castle of
of Peel, in the Isle of Mao, was once haunted by a
spectre epaniel, of most uuspaniel like dimensions,
which, being of a sociable turn, used to come into the
guard room with the lights and keep the soldiers there
company. His presence did them no harm, for, so long
as his black body, or semblance of a body, was in front
of the fire, his companions were careful to keep their
conversation clean, and let their favourite oaths remain
unaired. Accustomed SA they grew to their ghostly
visitor, not one hal sufficient confidence in his good in-
tentions to remain alone with him • end an the Mauthe
Dog came out of the passage leading from the guard-
room to the captain's quarters, about the time when
the castle keys were taken to the officer in c .mmand, a
comrade always went with the man to whom that duty
fell. One night a soldier, rendered bold by an extra
glass or two, swore he would carry in the keys by him-
self, and if the creature followed him, would see
whether he were dog or devil. Deaf to all remonstrance,
the put valiant fellow snatched up the keys and went
on his errand. By, and by, a tetrible noise greeted the
horrified ears of the expectant listeners, but none were
brave enough to dare the dangers of the passage. At
last the soldier returned, sober enough now, and all
waited impatiently for an explanation f the mysterious
uproar. They waited in vain. The man was stricken
dumb, and in three days died "in agonies more than is
comae oi to a natural death."—Prom "Het/hounds," in
All the Year Round.

CRY OF COLLIERS' UNIONS. A fair day's
work for a fair week's wages. —Punk.
Tux CRIMINAL LAW AMENDMENT ACT.—A
special meeting of the Council of the Sheffield Chamber
of Commerce was held on Friday, for the purpose of
taking into consideration Mr. Mundella's Criminal
Law Amendment Act (1871) Repeal Bill. Mr. W.
Smith, the Preeident of the Chamber, oc.cupied the
chair. A lettee from Mr. Mundella was read, in which
he said :

" Nothing more was impeded this Session than a discussion
of the question, and that it was doubtful if that could be
secured, lie should be happy to enter fully into the ques
Mon with them in the Council, but he could not refrain from
expressing his regret that a body of employers succeeded in
obtaining the passing of such Cu Act, and that they should
still have faith in Its mischievous provisions, w !itch in his
opinion were productive of nothing but irritation and lit
blood, and tended to increase the very offences they were
supp,sed to punish or prevent."

The Council passed a resolution strongly chsapprov.
ing the repeal of the Act, and expressing the opinion
that any attempt to interfere with the operation of it
WM highly inexpedient. A petition in favour of the
Act was adopted, and the county membent and Mr.
Hadfield were asked to support it.

THE LATEST INVENTION.— Tile arrival of
Hummer cannot he much longer delayed. We shall
then probably have eome sultry days, and be glad to
go wherever we can get a breeze, and a blow. When
that time comet, no better place can he found than the
Alexandra Palace, for there "the wind is supplied by
two steam engines."—Panch.
DESTRUCTIVENESS OF GAME IN GERMANY.—
The Alipernaine Zeil,thg said that ix the uplands of
Reue, and the districts of Schleiz, Saalburg, and
Lobenstern the deer are eating the agricultural popu-
lation out of house and home. If this game is not
sPeedily shot down. says that journal, the agriculturist
will, as was the case before 1348, be driven from his
fields and forced to emigrate. The same complaints
come from other parts of Thuringia, where not only
Is the seed trodden down or eaten, but even the buried
potatoes are grubbed up by the home of the stags, and
devoured by the herd& Damages may, indeed, be
obtained for these beset, but many naturally dislike to
prefer their claim, fearing to displease exalted person-
ages ; and the comiensation awarded in such cases
is often insufficient really to indemnify the farmer for
the destruction of his crop. This state of thiugs pros
duces a want of perseverance and industry on the part
of the local population, who feel that the fruit of their
toll is in a great measure eacrificed to a sport, noble
indeed, but still a sport.

A DEFINITION. —Teacher : '' But do you
understand, Mary Jones, what 'Duty' ? "--Mary
Jones " Yes, Miss. Fifteen:tan with a white band
round his arm, as takes yer orf to pris'n."—Punch.

GRE•T FLIGHT OF Loc.l:lt4TB IN HLOBRIA.—A
letter from Boghari to the Tell Rays :

" The locusts arrived here last week in such a body as to
Intercept the rays of the sun. At an early hoar the follow-
ing morning, when those terrible insects were still benumbed
by the dew, the population, the police, and the Arab goums,
nm..er the conduct of the mayor, set out and commenced
the chase, which dti not terminate until five in the after.
noon. More than twenty-five quintals (22 !lb. each of eggs
enchant° were buried in the earth. What remained of the
winged battalion took its flight toward. MEdeah, where it
appeared two afternoons after.

A LONG IhrfriEtt.—An Italian, having a auto
here in Englande to the archbishoppe of Yorke, that
then was, and commynge to Yorke, when one of the
prebendaries there brake his breads, as they terms it,
and thereupon made a solemne lone diner, the which
perhaps began at eleven and continued well nigh till
fower in the afternoone, at the whiehe diner this
bishoppe was. It fortuued that as they were sette the
Italian knockt at the gate, unto whom the porter,
perceiving Ns errand, answered that my lord bishoppe
was at diner. The Italian departed and retuned be-
twixte twelve and one; the porter answered they were
yet at diner. He came again at two of the clocke ; the
porter told hym they had not yet half dined. He came at
three a clocke, unto whom the porter in a heat ao-
swered never a worde, hut churlishlie did Bhutto the
gates upon hym. Whereupon others told the Italian
that ther was no speaking with my lord almoste all
that dale f,r the solenine diner sake. The gentilman
Italian, wonderyng much at such a long sitting, and
greatly greyed because he ovoid not then sptake with
the archtiphoppe's grace, departed straight towards
London ; and leavying the dispatch of his matters with
a dere frent'e of his bike his journey towards Italic.
Three years after, it happened that an Englishman
came to Rome, with whom this Italian by chatince
tallying acquainted, asked hym if he kneallethe arch-
bishoppe of Yorke. The Englishman said he knows
hym right well. 'L praye you tell me," quoth the
Italian, "bath that archbishopoe yet dined ?"—From
"Good Old EtiglOh Fore," in All flit Ycar Round.

•
WOMEN Att WATCEIMAKERB.—WO(Time,t) are
that
requested to state at in the course of Miss Faithful's
inquiries respecting the employment of women in
American industries she was peculiarly struck with the
ievelopment of the watchmaking, trade. Hundreds of
woman and girls find employment in the Waltham
Factory, Maas., and in the Lady Dein Works,
Illinois. They tend the machines for cutting pinionsr
screws, and wheels, making hair spritigs, setting
jewels, to., and employers speak very highly of their
skill and accuracy. At the farewell luncheon given to
Miss Faithful the day before leaving New York, a
beautiful specimen of the work executed at the Lady
Elgin Works was presented to her by the women ern-
ployaes themselves; a scroll bore the names of the
donors, and an inscription on the watch described it as
a memorial of gratitude from American women to one
who had done so much in helping women to help them-
[wire/.

THE FLYING Blaw.—The Brussels journals
state that the burgomaster of that city, before giving
to M. de Groof permission to make experiments with
his aerial machine in the Champ de Mameuvres,
charged Colonel Liagre, lecturer on mechanics at the
Military School, to examine the apparatus, and report
on the danger which the essay might present. That
officer has since given a favourable opinion relative to
the safety of the invention. He shows that the ma-
chine is composed of two wings working on an axle, by
meatus of levers, and a tail resembling that of a bird,
to serve as a guide and regulator. They present to-
gether a soperficies of 15 metros 80 cent. (nearly 19
square yards), which is more than is required for safety.
Moreover, as the wings can be gapped rapidly, the re.
nietance to the air woul I be still further increased, and
all danger removed, provided that the apparatus re-
mained uninjured. In that respect Colonel Liagre
believes that the material used is irreproachable, and
capable of bearing a much greater strain than will be
thrown on it. The wings are of silk, and will only
have to bear • weight of 1261 b., or a little more than
two ounces per decimetre, or square of four inches, and
, which could be increased tendold without risk. The
space between the wings and the tail Is sufficient to
permit the passage of the air confined beneath the
machine, and replao-s the opening with which all
I parachutes are provided to prevent oscillation, and as
' the 'entre of gravity is two metres below the wings,
I ellen the operator is seated the machine could descend
at • very modetate rapidity, and without turning
OWL

AIFOTNIIR Paoracroa.—The rallying ory of
the New French Proindent is "fleets ft 1. Annie la
It quite original? At least a Wonder sensingent was
embodied in the exhortation addressed by the Chief
of another Commonwealth to the troops, when he
advided to put their trust in providential adaistance,
and at the same time to take the necessary care ot
their powder. --Punch.
THE OCTOPUS AND THE ACTuft.—The follow-
ing curious occurrence is said to have taken place at
Brighton (says the Era)..—The performance of Man
and Wife at the Theatre Royal wan delayed some little
time on Tuesday night in coneequence of it having
been discovered th.ct Mr. Charles Collette, who was
playing the part of Sir Patrick Lundie, was not in the
theatre. Before, however, an apology was made Mr.
Collette arrived, wet to the akin, and in a state of great
exhaustiou, lie, drecsed hurriedly, and appeared on the
stage, exhibiting no traces of the ordeal he had gone
through. It appears that Mr. Collette had learnt the
art of snake charming in India, and was explaining
the process of Mr. George Reeves Smith, the courteous
general manager of the Brighton Aptarium. Notwith-
standing the entreaties of Mr. Smith, Mr. Collette in.
ails tad on exercising hire ecience upon the octopus, and
sucifeeded in luring the moneter from his hiding place,
and C,IWO.i it to follow him round the tank. On
bending down to the surface of the water, however,
the c•eature seemed in shake off all control, and turn-
ing his snaky feelers round Mr. Collette'a neck, drcw
him by main force into the tank. A desperate
struggle ensued beneath tire w .ter. whence "Ste Pate lc it
Bundle" was with difficulty extricated by Mr. Smith
and several bystanders. Mr. Collette has since con-
fined his triwere of charming to the patrons of the
theatre, and with far greater success. We believe
that Mr. Smith, of the Brighton Aquarium, will vouch
for the truth of this.

CLEVER CRITICS !--A professor's wife, who
occupied herself sunetimes in assisting her husband in
making CIVON of kteristing objects of geology and
natural history, also for her own pleasure sometimes
made lavers and fruits of wax and other materials ;
but notwithstanding that she had become quite a
succexsful expert in this line, she found that almost
always her efforts were criticised by her friends. Once
she passed a large apple round, and stated her con-
fidence that this time she had been quite sucaessful in
her imitxtirn of nature's product ; but her friends were,
as usual, not of her opinion. One criticised the shape,
saying it would be in we natural if it were not so
globular; another criticised the colours, and said it
was better than other imitations, but she had not
quite hit that natural indescribable peculiarity which
ditAtinguishes the natural apples from the imitations;
almost every one had some fault to find. After the
apple hail been passed round and had come into her
hands again, she ate it without saying anything. Her
friends had been criticising a real apple I