The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-07-26 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS

A " down-eset " juryman recently informed hie
eleven fellow Jurors, witti great gravity, that "no external
magnetism borne virtual, he would vote In the defensive."
NO tn.% IV WI made to amigo his determination.

-
A clergyman latgly said that the modern young
ladle. warn not the asughten ot them and Rain, but of hem
and tham.

A 'VAT, kre nsident of K•liwrazoo writes to • " school
boor-,' OM that he will talc* a s ;boil. as he " has
ton.ht 2 terms school and Il't n. 1.6 1 colltdie 4 pars at
detro t, niebta s and an, 26 year. avase."

•
The first woman voter in Wyoming, U.S., In said to
have been a lady of seventy, who voted on her way home
from the lancer's, going to the poll with a pitcher of molasses
in one hand and the ballot ball lathe other. She by accid,mt
p .ured the contents of the pitcher into the ballot box and
forgot to put In the ball. There was a sweet mess in con-
40411eUCe.

The elephant attached to Joe Warneee circus fainted
away the other day at the sight of a hrmk and ladder com-
p sny on the run. They fired buckshot into him t, bring
to.

One of the bluest of Bostonians, on being requested
by a rich and ',Wear young fedow for permissiin to marry
"one of hie girls," g.ve this reply, "Certainly; which would
you prefer, the housemaid or the cook?"

The latevt salutation of the Chicagoitesie, "Whet
have you been since the cow kicked

Persons in Detroit, 1.7 S., are allured by a oign
which reads Fifty centa for dinner and a omen for your
dog "

Courage without disereahnn iz like a ram with horns
on both sods—Bee-1U ea. more fights on hand wan he kW]
do Ins ion to —Josh Billings.

A Kansaa City mother-in-law lately established a
precettent by thrashing her daughter's bridegroom Immedi•
ately after the marriage ceremony.

A poem in an agricultural paper, called "Song o
the Farmer's It .7, very appropriately commences with
brothers, ho "

It is statod that in a district of tho Great Repuhlic
mosquitoes are so plentiful thst they are unable to get on •
stranger all at on.. and so they stand &mono in reliefs ar.d
wait, for their turps like customers at a barber's shop.

There wee lately residing in Connecticut, U.S., a
arid •er who had burled no fewer th.n four husbands. Toe
on y full of tt one mKrr ages was one cii d, a son, and he
also died, ae.d was gathered to its four fathers.

•
There in a Canadian neyrnpaper entitled Tht Saint
Mary North Middlesex Argus and Rtrif 10, and Lucan.
Granton, Park Hat. and Warfel, Advocate, and Lucan
Exeter Gazette. The Wsdder Advocate should be an Incereit
lug paver .414.4.

- -
A young lady at Council Bluff% U.S being in-
formed by her feller" that he Int uded to cease hls,alten
tlons, cowboted him around the room, and, as he sprang
thr,ugh the open window, told him, with a psi-Ling tick, that
that would teach him to be more careful for the f utnre uot
trill+ with a gentle and loving heart.

"Mr. President," exclaimed a member of a debat-
ing e. 01017, "our oountry'• fate looms darkling before us,
111toU, us star above the borison on which the pstrimic
manner can hang a scintillation of hope, but with ominous
hatures of foal-coming doom, gloomy and rayless as the eyes
of a tree t ad re-rched upon the topmost bough of a barren
poplar, envelope in 1111 Impenetrable fog."

" Hair butchers" is the eauguinary name applied to
barhers fly the Kansas City paper,

- - -
The New York papers challenge Chicago to beat
this, which all happened at Waterford, i to.st State :—Three
mouth. ago a wow. married t ere agroust her father's wish.
The husriand was f drgiven, and al went we I tor a week or
two, when. fallmg.ont occurred, which resulted $ll a divorce.
But the girl loved so well that the matter was made up. and
loam flier the pair again °toped, and were a second time
ma. tied.

The American bonnet at the period is a miniature
kitchen garden It Is decorated with cherries, grapes, black.
berries, little carrots, bite of parsley, long pale-ereeb beans,
mar) )ram, sorrel, and other vegetables familiar to professors
of tile culinary science.

It is no good now.a.days for a man to offer his hand
It there'. nottulg to It.

The Female Suffrage advocate, in Ohio have been
recently giving else attention to the °oboes oi the CollVelltloll
I n ...salon there ihr the revision of the State Constitution.
They hsve rucceeded in getting as amend melt engrafted upon
it provilieg that women may hold all '' spoolutive"
ffien—
that Is, they may be Government clerks, tto, and they may
also be scho,l corm, 'armlets, superb, ten., enta, trusteef, arid
proctors of charitable Institutions, she. The Convention ha.
been overwhelned with p Aitken* taxing for lea.s 8., argue,
and thst important queentori has been referred to • a wicket
committee, who are unasked in hearing arguments pro and
con. The 111111catioD5 are that a special female r,,itrage
amendment to the Constitution w submitted to popular
vole.

It le enggested that in bnildinz railreadit the rail
should be h atod red but, to that tha workmen will by them
down rapidly.

A Ptiladelphia paper Bays :—" Tee a great waete
of raw material to out ten dollars worth of beaver over tea
cents wortn of brains."

It is now claimed that the architect of the great
Wail of China was a woman. A comets would do any thlng
to keep men off of course.

See how wonderful are the ways of Nature in Illinois.
A pair of n,oss costs Just two boats of potato., and to raise
toe potatoes jolt wears out two pairs of boots.
An intoxica,ed man in New York saw two tramway
cars lan g li.ot the miser evening with red and blue lights
in front and rear. Ills fuddled brain comprehended coloured
lights, and he was heard to say to himself, ' Must be pretty
*lkb—sickly here : they are running chemists shops about
on whe.—wheels '

A boy of wont:barbs' talent for whistling placed him-
self near a sharp curve of a railway and whistled with such
realistic beauty as to stop an approaching train. The sig-
nalman, apptrently tinder the same illusion, came out of his
box and switched him off

A blushing damsel in Philadelphia had a man and a
dog up bef.re the police magistrate, to sumer a charse of
aaaault and battery on the part of the dog. When asked
what the dog did, rile said he bit her. Wean asked who's,
after condderable hesitation and blurting, she replied, .0n
the left drum-stick "

A Western editor recently penned an article about
the KII•4111 Unite Alexia, o.IUog blm the noble Russ." One
of the compotlton made tee article read noble Kum."

An amateur farmer wonders "why, on all this fair
earth the 1, rutted Is *read bottom aide up, so that
It moo be turned over with a plough berore cr,ps can be

An American gentleman once lent money to
another American e.utieman The lender says the other
nem leman elms •o him with teen in his eyes. I .all, Wny
these we. p. ' lid maid he had. mort.rege on his farm, and
wo,toti to no.row 2 0 dollars. I lent him the money and he
went sway. Some time after he returned with more town.
He said be [WM leave me for ever. I ventured to remind
him of the 200 doHars he borrowed. He es. much cut up.
I thought I would oil be hard upon him, so I told him I
would throw off 100 dollars. Ile brightened, shook, my
hand, and said, "o.d hiend. I won't allow you to outdo? me
In Ithorallty ; throw off Site other hundred."