The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1872-01-06 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPER.

"Coffin parties" is the latest name for fairs in Alas-
sachusets.

An Indiana groom kissed the bride so loud as to ex.
tort?, round of applause from the congregation.

In New York they call red hair, "Schenectady
colour—Schenectady being, as every one knows, a town a
little beyond " Auburn."

A young gentleman, speaking of a.ypung beauty**
fashionable yellow hair, e:illed it pure gold. 'lt ought to be,"
said a bystander, It looks like '24 carrots."

A young student wants us to tell him if W-o-r-c-eu-
t-e-r spells Wooster, .Izy It o-e-h ester don t spell Rooster.
We give it up, as we are not engaged in getting up diction-
aries.

In a book purporting to contain oommunications
from the departed, a spirit called 'Flora' reports herself
as having found a room in heaven) coloured "dark rich
crimson, shaded from black up to shell-pink."
An American paper says that a Mr. Perkins has in-
vented a compound, which he cans" Concentrated Essence of
sublimated Spirit of Steam." A person has only to put a phial
of it in Ms pocket, and it will carry him along at the rate of
fifty miles an hour or by merely swallowing three drops
when you go to bed at night you will rise at any part of the
world you may choose.

The Helena Daily Montana Herald, in view of the
approaching leap-year, publishes a list of eligible old bache-
lors in Helena, and follows with thirty or forty genuine
names of citizens who are in the main, it says, 'in a good
state of preservation." The daring editor proposes to sup-
plement the list with another, of " all the old 1113idS and
misniagable young ladies in

The following is a literal copy of the list of goes-
tioos proposed for discussion in a Far West debating club:
—"Suligeets for Diskuslihu. Is dausin morello rung? Is
the reading of fletishus works commenilible ? Is it neces-
sary that fermills shod rescuer thorough literary education
(Jet femaila to take part in politikesi Does dress conatituta
the morrel part of wimmin ?"
_ . _

An American "soot" was boasting to a grocer of the
cheapness of ten pounds of sugar he hail bought at a rival
shop. " Let me weigh the package," said the grocer. The
donkey assented, and it was two pounds short. The
"coloured gentleman" looked perplexed fort moment, and
then said innocently, "Yes, but while he was gettin' de
sugar, I stole two pair of shoes."

. •
In the advertising, eolums of the Nor York Sun, in
1855, appeared an advertisement as follows :—" Extra-
ordinary Phenomenon.—The wonderful curiosity, the New
Hampshire 31,immoth Girl, weighing over 600 pounds, and
still growing every day. It tokeg 151 yard,: to make her a
dose. She measures 6 feet 6 inches round the waist, 9 feet
round the hips, 3 feet-across the shoulders'' Now-a-days it
requirts 22 yards to make a dress,fur a medium-sized woman.

• • •
At a church of "colour," near Albany, the other
evening, the minister noticing a number of persons, both
white and coloured, standing upon the seats during service,
called out in a loud voice, "tilt down off them seats, both
white man and colour; I care no more for the one (lan de
odder." Imagine the pious minister's surprise on hearing
the congregation suddenly singing in short metre—

"Ott down off dem seats,
Bolt white Man not colour;
I cares no more for one man
Titan 1 does for de odder.''

ARKANSAS FLIES.—They have large horse-flies out
in Arkansas, hut the people are intelligent and full of re-
aources ; and the farmers out there have lately comes game
on them that is likely to discourage further emigration of
this kind. They patiently watch the varmint as he wrestles
with their animals, and after the horse has becomedlisabled
by loss of blood, and lays down in the furrow, they jt,st har-
ness the " fly " up in the horse's toggery, and keep right
along with the ploughing. There are people so incredulous
as to doubt the truth of this statement, no doubt. There is
no pleasure in writing for such people, anyway.
- - - • •

- - -
During the American President's stay at Pittsburg,
the ladles paid their respects to him at the Monongahela
House. A gentleman Introduced a very pretty girl, but
added, playfully, "She is a democrat, general.- The old
gentleman kissed her on both cheeks, adding, with great
glee, "1 always kiss the democratic ladies twice—there are
so few of them. Why, had it not been for ladies I should
not have been where I am. I owe my success to them."
"General,- said a gentleman standing by, "I wish you would
appoint me chairman of the kissing committee." "Colonel,"
replied he, "don't you know the old saying—if we want a
thing done, we send our man to do it ; but if we want it
well done, we do it ourselves."