The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1859-05-10 00:00:00

Yarittito.

There is • man in Louisville so knowing, that the max
who don't know their own minds come to him for ii.
formation on the subject.
Man carries under his hat • private theatre, wherein
is acted a greater drama than ever is performed on the
mimic stage; a draws beginning and ending in eternity.
Wanted, a decent pretext for plunging the nations of
Europe into the losses, crimes, miseries, and horrors of
war. Apply at the Chief Office, Paris, or at the Branch
Establishment, Turin.—All the Year Round.

•
A juror having applied to the judge to be 'Reused
from serving on amount of deafness, the judge said,
•' rould you not hear my charge to the jury, sir ?"
"Yes ; I heard your honour's charge," said the juror,
" but couldn't make any sense of it. He was "excused."

Though an habitual valetudinarian, Moberg relied
almost upon the temperance of his diet for the re-esta•
blialiment of his health. " What use do you make of
our pliyaiciau ?" said the King to him one day. "We
chat together, sire," said the poet. "lie vves we his
prescriptions, I never follow them, and so I get well:,
OYSTERS AND MlLl.—When too many oysters have
been incautiously eaten, and are felt lying cold sad
heavy on the stomach, we have an infallible and imme-
diate remedy in hot milk, of which half • pint may be
drunk, and it will quickly dissolve the oysters into a
bland, cream jelly. Weak and consumptive persona
should always take ths after their meal of oysters.
The Duke of baxe•Weimer, when in New York,
went one evening in • hackney•cosich to • party, and
the nest day was called upon by the driver for his fare,
who sake,' the Duke whether lie was the wean he had
driven the night before; and, on being answered in
the affirmative, informed him that he was the grant-
non that drove his., and that he had come for bis half-
dollar.

Kaye Mr. Thackeray, in "The Virginians," "We are
alway fur implicating Heaven in our quarrels, and caus-
ing the gods to intervene, whatever the " uodus " way
he. DOeb Broughton, after pummeling and beating Black.
lift up a black eye to Jove andthank liiin for the victory!
And if ten thoudand boxers are to be lo heard, why not
one? And if Broughton is to be graceful, what is Black
to be ?"

HABITS or GREAT )Lea,—The Duke of Wellington
might often be seen at the Senior United Service dining
on a joint ; and, on one occasion, when he was charged
fifteen-peuce instead of a shilling for it, he bestirred
himself till the odd three-pence WAS struck off. The
motive was obvious; be took the trouble of objecting
to give his sanction to the principle.—One of Lord
Byron's odd fancies was dining at all sorts of odd out-
of-the-way places. Somebody popped upon him in a
coffee-house in the Strand, where the attraction was,
that he paid • shilling to dine with his hat on. This he
called his " hug-house," and lie used to boast of the
comfort of being covered at ineal-time.—ltr. Pitt's great
recreation, afterrthe fatigue of business, was stealing
into the country, entering into a clean cottage where
there was a tidy w ~,,, an, and a nicely scoured table, and
there lie would eat bread and cheese like any ploughman.
lie detested routs, and always sat down to plain dia-
luers. He never ate before he went to the House of
Commons ; but when anything important was to be dis-
cussed lie was in the habit of taking • glass of port wine
with a tea-spoonful of bark in it.
"SHIEWIIEcEED SLAWEN."—In a speech at the Liver-
pool Amphitheatre a few evenings since Mr. Norden
toll the following story :—When in Staffordshire,
a very short time ago, four seamen Catlin to the door—
at least four men who represented themselves as seamen
—and said they were in great distress, having been
shipwrecked off Hull. I went to speak to them, as iny
sympathies are, and I hope they always will be, with
seamen. (" Hear, hear,' and applause.) As soon as I
saw them I knew that one was • seamen; bat, as we
say in Lancashire, I saw with half an eye that ilie other
three were" hail, fellows, well met," picked up ou the
road. I said—" lam very sorry to bear of your acci-
dent; what vessel were you wrecked in r 'They said—
"The Elisabeth." I told the seaman to stand where he
was • I told the first of the other three men to go 10 or
15 yi;rds to the right ; the second to retire 10 or 15
yards to the left; and the third man to stand off in the
front. Well, they could not tell what I was after, end
I went quietly up to one and I said, "lam very sorrY
to hear of the Elisabeth being host; what was the cap-
tain's name" "Jones," was the reply. I went to the
next, told him I regretted the accident, and asked the
I name of the captain of the Elisabeth. " eaftn
Brown, Sir." I went to another, and I mid, BY
good friend, I am exceedingly dixtressed on Per
account; what was the name of the captain r
Cat-
tam n Smith, Sir." (Cheers and laughter.) I mo.
"Come here, men. You are • pretty set of fellows
here to go and sail in the ship Elisabeth, and to have
three captains. You might well be lost and deserve it
too," (Lighter, and great cheering.)