The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-08-16 00:00:00

SHORT AND PITHY.

A paragraph in one of the papers informs us that a
horse rurhed Into a milliner's shop, whence he departed
" leaving his traces behind him "
A matrinuonially-inclined contemporary says that a
yid with three thoutand • year, or more. Is always an object
of Interest, because she bee so much principal.

•
"Whit are you doing?" raid a father to hie eon,
who waa tinkering an old watch improving my time,
wan the witty rejoinder.

It may Bound like • paradox, yet the breaking of
both an arosys wings is a pretty sore way to make it fly.

- -
Dr. Juhnson is reported to have said that • second
marriage was the "triumph of hope over experience."

People born with eilver .po ons in their- mouths don't
always make a stir in the world.

A learned Aberdeen naturalist gave the answer,
the ulncorn is called the unicorn because of his unique
horn. .

Father (who has imbibed a prejudice again.' liberal
ethication): "1 see 30000 been and put my sou into grammar
and jJeaphy. Now, I don't want to make no preacher and
no sea captain out of him, and theee studiee ain't no use,
Give him a practical Main.. education."

A pawnbroker having joined a temperance society,
it was remarked that there need be no fear of hie not keeping
the pledge.
The fallowing le an epitaph on the death of • young
lady engaged to be married :
" The wedding-day appointed was.
And weddirg-drew provided
But. ere the wedding-day arrived,
She sickened and she die-did..
As illustrating the humorous, Proftwor Lowell men-
tions an adverthment that caught hie eye some time since
'Wanted, by • boy, • situation in an eating-housed Ile in
used to the bioinem."
"I never saw such • cold woman as Lady is,"
said an °nylon. beauly of another, the other evening. "I
feel quite c nifident that she moot give her husband a cold
LI the head whenever she khans him."

WI, h big tears in her ryes, a sweet little girl of five
rummers Intel, "Will dear little brother Johnny Ole to-
night, mother ?" And when she was ukured the doctor
thought not, she coatlnued, while wail; choked her uttPrance,
"Poor Johot y, I hoped he would, 'cause teen I could have
him little whlte-handled ko.fe and fork

by are darned stockings like dead men? —Becanee
they are mended .

'• Take care of the pales." &c., Smith says it is the
ex-parla he has to look cut for.

A certain aristocratic lady won't take a newspaper
because tt's made of rags.

"Your dresk" said a husband to bin fashionable
"will never please the men " I don't dress to please
men," was the reply, "but to worry other women."
A wag, seeing a daor nearly off its hinges, in which
condition it had been for some time, observed that when It
had fallen and killed some one, it would probably be hung
A gentleman lately entered a shop in which books
and vario.miscallaneous articles were totals, and mired the
Amman if he had Goldsmith's Greecd. "No," said he,
"but we have some splendid hair-oil."

A illiterate gourmand says that the only line of
beauty no knows of Is a "Una" of pork.

A man advertise for " • competent pereon to attend
to the sale of • new medicine," Ana adds that, " twill prove
protitebte to the undertaker."
Whist le it we can't do very well without, yet we
turn It out 1--"rne gee. .
- -

A pillow, though not belonging to the human 'peeler,
mime under toe bead of a rational being.
A young etudent of an inquiring wind, wanta t.
Yu way, U W o r-de-a-t-..r epode Wooster, wby
R o c d.t-e-r don't spell Booster.

In the olden times- divines argued on "How many
noels can dance on the point of • needle t.' An Interesting
loqtrry a • atamar bawl° would be, "How many lawyers
Osu stand on sk pant of 1.. r

" Lewis," maid a father the other day to his delin-
quent son, I'm busy cow, but L. Wm as I can get time I
mean to give you eflegns t—'• Daisy soured( pa,"
replied the son ; I ean mitt !"
Johnny era,tolling bit ma haw he wan going to dress
and show off who he Was • mm. lib nta sued, Jelinny,
what do lon expret to no for a using When you pot to be a
r--.,We11, tit get warned, and Mame with My Mfrs
Pal"
A fond husband boasts that hie wife is so industrione
that when she has nothing else to do she YU and knit. has
helm