The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1874-03-21 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS:

" Matchlem maid," was the way a presumptuous
young man addressed a lady of a very uncertain ego.
An Indianapolis beggar goes about selling his wife's
wedding-ring to buy bread for his children, lie has
already sold 75 of it.
A contemporary bays, if a woman wants to get her
name in the newspapers aa "beautiful, fascinating,
and accomplished," let her elope or otherwise make a
fool of herself.

A New York paper, prior to the more recent and
convincing proof, suggested that Dr. Livingstone had
given out a false report of his death to avoid another
call from Stanley, having heard that the latter was in
Ashantee.

A California paper, having obtained a new cub.
scriber, records the startling fact in a half-column
article headed, "Still another I Our course indorsed
by the people."

There is a story of Judge Grier, which everybody
delights in, how he set aside the unjust verdict of •
jnry against an unpopular man with this remark :
"Enter the verdict, Mr. Clerk. Enter also, ' Set
aside by this court.' I want it to be understood
that it take, thirteen men to steal a man's farm in this
court."

The following advertisement appears in a Canadian
paper : "Will the g.utleman who stole my melons
last Saturday night he generous enough to return •
few of the seeds, as they are a choice variety ? "

A Chic .go lawyer told • jury that he seemed to see
a band of white-robed angels hovering abut the head
of his client, wha was up for horse-stealing. The jury
brought in a verdict of guilty.

lit jackass on Colonel-Sekien's place in Miry Brook
kias the whooping cnigh. It has its coughing spells in
the night, and were it the only sou of a greatly beloved
king it could not have a more attentive auditory than
that which bounds out of the twde in the neighbour.
bond on the occurrence of a paroxysm.

An American paper says :—" A mysteriotus
Pennsylvania couple clasped hands across a grave at
midnight recently in • lonely cemetery, while an un-
known minister married them." Here iii • subject for
a melodrama; to give finish add Hashes of lightning to
the extent of sixpence•worth of material.

A Rhode Island newspaper prints the following
amongst the marriage notices :—" In Thompson, Gt.,
November 20th, by the Rev. W. L. Blood, Rufus
Brig to Sarah L. Greenleaf, of Auburn, Maas., after •
long and tedious courtship over five years,"
AN INDIANA ROMANCE.—She couldn't see it in that
light. She didn't want to many him, and he was
bound ehe should. They both lived a couple of mile@
from the city, and near neighbour.. She refused to
listen to his courting, and he grew desperate. So he
went off to the West, and while out there persuaded •
friend to write a letter saying he was dead, and asking,
as his dying request, that she might, if ever she went
out that way, stop a moment and toss a weed or per-
chance a flower on his lonely grave. This was tenders
but it didn't take worth a cent; and she wrote
back a letter to the friend saying that if he
had any consideration for her feelings at all to
send her the dead lover's watch and chain, his
money, and all his valuables. To carry out his plena,
the deed man sent home his brass jewellery and other
effects, and she immediately proceeded to don the
trinkets and start to singing school with the chosen
" feller" of her heart. On their way back home the
pair were startled by the apparition of the loot lover,
clad in ghostly white, but with the old lineament@
intact. The young man tied, but the girl stood still,
and putting up a paw which resembled an elephant'.
foot, naively inquired if the ghost wanted to be kicked to
death by a mule. To which his ghostship retlied : "Be-
loved Jerusha, hey I come all the way home to find
you false ?" You bet," replied the fair one, laughing
heartily, for she had discovered that it was really the
person of her dead lever. The fellow had played •
nice game, and followed his goods and chattels back to
the land of his nativity very quickly. The damsel was
so disgusted with the other for running at sight of the
ghost that she immediately began preparations to
marry the ghost.