The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1872-05-25 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A western
the moon" poet calls the dew the 'perspiration of

--
Boston a total abstinence society has been started,
which announces as its object " total abstinenue from med-
dling with other people's affairs."
-••- • • •

A facetious keeper who was taking two convicts to
gaol, nh,n the train stopped called out, Step out, gentle-
men, fifteen years for reireelnuent."
• • • • •

A young man asked a young lady her age, and she
replied, "6 times 7 and 7 times 3 added to my age will
exceed 6 times 9 and 4 as double my age exceeds 20.-.
The young man said he thought she looked much older.
An American authcr has reason to beliesd that
whenever the wages of the mechanics are raised to eight
and ten dollars a day the workmen will not oome at all,
they will merely send their cards.
- --• • • • . .

A cool critic calmly °beery m of a singer that "even
as she sings she becomes transf gured before you, and her
form rises to a rare and bewildering beauty, that scarcely
Rap.sel himself, were he alive again, could adequately
paint."
• • - -.•-

A gentleman recently married in Chicago preeented
his bride at the wedding with the original transcript of one
of the first despatches ever sent over the first telcgraph line,
from Baltimore to Washington. It was the announcement
to the lady's grandmother of her birth, and read, "Only a
girl !*
- •

-
A young man rode ten miles in a railway carriage
with a pretty girl, one moonlight night. *Rh the intention of
popping the question, but all he said was, "It is quite moony
to-night." "Yen," she replied, "niuchly." And there wasn't
another word said.

A Massachusetts' judge ham decided that a husband
may open a wiles letters, on the ground no often and so
tersely stated by Mr. Theophilus Parsons, of Cambridge,
that "the husband and wile are one, and the husband is
that one!" _ - -

Avery good and characteristic story is tola of a
Boston lady who obtained an introduction to the Pope.
Etiquette requires that the party thus honoured should bow
low upon hended knees when his Holiness apyears. Evidently
our New Etigla.id friend woe ignorant at or ignored the
custom, for she walked bravely up to Pius IX.. grasped him
by the hand, and said, "My dear sir, I'm delighed to see
yon; how doyou do?" " American !"muttered his Holiness,
as he slightly inclined his venerable he .id and moved toward
a group of Italian ladies assembled in the centre of the salon.
CALICO BALL.—The Irish Benevolent Society of
Ottawa gave, the ether night, a grand calico ball, under the
patronage of the Governor-tieneril and Lady Wirer. All the
Pates present were dressed strictly In calico, but, on account
of the showy bright colours and rltce trimmings, their
dresses looked quite as handsome and gay as if they were
made of the multi costly materials. It Is customary after
such balls for the Indies to give their calico dreams to the
poor, yvidch lea very good way of dlepodng of them. The
proceeds of the ball will go also to the poor.
VEGETABLE HISTORY.— The strawberry is one ov
nat.'s sweet pets. She makes them worth fifty cents the
first she makes, and never allows them to be sold ate mean
price. Its fragrance is like the breath of a baby, when it
Brat begins tew eat losaingers its flavour is like the nectar
which an old-fashioned goddess used tew leave in the bottom
of her tumbler when Jupiter stood treat on mount Ida.
Ther is many breeds of this delightful vegetable, but not a
mean one in the whole lot. therrya are good, but they are
too much like sucking a marble, with a handle tow it. The
man that can eat strawberry'a besprinkled with crushed
sugar and bespattered with sweet kream at somebody else's
expense , and not lay his hand on his stummuck and thank
the author ov strawberry's and stummuks, arid the phellow
who pays for the strawherrys, iz man with a wo,o-ou

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