The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1872-09-21 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

One of the we-tern railroads has a female locomotive-
tngiuter of the beautiful blonde order. She makes the spark.

A prudent match-making mamma gave the hollowing
candid advice to her daughter :—'oh, marry the man you
love, girl, if he Is as rich as Crcesus."
A New York paper, in a fit of revolutionary enthu•
slum, says, "Hurrah for the girls of '76 r A New Jersey
paper says, Thunder ! that; far too old! No, nu! Hurrah
for the girls of 17 f'
Au experienced chemist wserts that the manufacture
of wine is so reduced to a science that grapes are gradually
being dispensed with.
They bad a concert in Salem (U.S.) recently in aid
of the Sdciety for the Freventhai of Cruelty to Animals, and
to attend it thisty-sOOOO persons rode at one time in a car
drawn by only one horse.
A ssilor, looking serious in a chapel in Boston, was
asked by the clergyman if he felt ally change. Whereupon
the tax put his hand into his pocket, and replied, "Not a
cent !"
A Detroit grandmother repeatedly dreamed that the
body of her dead grandchild had been stolen from the grave.
The grave was opened, and, sure enough, the child had—not
been disturbed.
An inquiring citizen of Madison, Ind., thrust his
fingers into a horse's mouth to see bow many teeth he had.
The horse closed his mouth to see how many fingers the man
had. The curiosity of each was folly satisfied,
A politician, in writing a letter of condolence to the
widow of a "country member" who had been his friend,
says, '• I am grieved to bear that James has gone to
heaven. We were bosom friends, but now we shall never
meet again.'
The misery of being called upon suddenly to make a
speech was pot over by a mathematician, who delivered
himself in this fashion Gentlemen, a morbid desire for
originality prevents me from saying, This lathe proudest
moment of my Me,' and it does not occur to me to say any-
thing else."
Says Josh Billings, "There ain't but phew khan
stick a white handkerchief Into the breast pocket or their
overcoat without letting a little bit on it stick out—just by
acksident." First catch your hare, Josh, before you give your
. ,d

experience of it.
An American paper says Letty Rough will never
lecture any more in public. She has made a permanent en-
gagement. Ills name is Gregory. Letty lectured last winter
on "Popping the (location," telling boast ought to be done.
Gregory did it This illustrates the advantages of the
scientific education of women.
Here is a poetic paragraA from a wegtern news-
paper .—Wanted, a brave-hearted man, who has buffeted the
' storms of life, and did not tremble for the issue when the
troubles came ; MUHL be relined and respectable, Middlie
aged and discreet
" Wilt thou leave me in my anguish,
Groping ou through life alone?
Shall L weak and trembling, languish, •
With no arm around me thrown?"
Address Widow, at tlds office.
It in quite astonishing, says the New York Tribune,
to find a man 113 years old hanging himself as William
George dill at Rochester, 111., last week ; fur since death at
any • ate must be close at hand, the troubl9 of a rope, or
finding a place of suspension. and adjusting the halter seems
to be hardly worth taking If we have any reader who is PS
years old we advise him tube patient. What little is left of
his mortal coil will shuill, itself oil soon enough.
A VALE OF TWINS. —ln Mobile there are twins who
cannot be punished ler any offence because neither can be
11, entitled. Recently one of these young ladies put to flight
two dug-catchers and a policeman. In court she proved to
be her si.ter A policeman accompanied her home to arrest
the other, but on arriving could not tell which he had
brought and which was already there, and went away sorrow-
ing without either.