The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1874-11-21 00:00:00

AN EXPEDITIOUS MARRIAGE.

A Cannelton (Ind.) justice of the peace has lately
performed a matrimonial feat which entitles him to
the kind regard and business consideration of every
pair of closely-pursued and hotly-pressed lovers in the
world (says a St. Louis paper). Cannelton is one of
Kentucky's convenient Gretna Greens much the
better and safer for being in another State, with the
sweet-flowing Ohio between. A pretty little Ken-
tacky girl was loved by two brothers. She was not
to decide between them, and left the question
with themselves to settle. They met one day on the
way to the house of the lady, and commenced
the argument of which was the best man in the old
Kentucky style of " off with your coat and at
it." While they were discussing their relative merits,
and both getting very tired of the debate, another
young fellow who had no fraternal rival slipped into
the house, told of the disgraceful scene in progress
between the brothers, and asked the young lady to
split the difference and get rid of the ruffians by taking
him. The picture be painted her was so bright that
she took him at his word, and both hastened to get
out of the State. They hied them to the river, and on
the way engaged a holy man of Hawsville to come
over as quick as he could and bring his wedding
ceremonial outfit for their everlasting benefit. He
agreed to skiff over the river in a shori time, and told
• them too and be as happy as they could until he
came. They crossed over to Cannelton and hasten...l
to procure the necessary wedding document by the
laws i 4 Indiana made and provided for each
Dentures. They got it, and were walking hand in
• hand just outside the gates of Eden. There was
just enough fear of pursuit to make it likely
for their young hearts, and cause them to tremble
a little on the brink of blessedness. They came to
Castleberry Bridge, over a rippling stream which was
too wide to jump and too deep to wade. The bridge
was undergoing repairs, and a large portion of the floor
was torn up. They stopped and looked into the gulf
below through the bare beams. They gazed over to
the Kentucky shore and saw a boat full of men rowing
across with steady stroke. Pursued! That was the
tint thought. What was to be done? They would
perish together rather than be torn asunder. Hand
in hand they advanced one step nearer the gulf, before
taking the fatal plunge through the gaping bulge
beams. A moment more and they would have been
safe from pursuit locked in each other's arms at the
pebbly bottom of the stream. They heard a voice
cry : " Hold! rash impetuous children." They looked
up and saw the smiling face of Squire Patterson
like a rising sun on the other side .if the
bridge. They knew him in their calmer, happier days,
The young lady was on the most intimate footing with
the squire, and she very naturally took the position of
spokesman. She hallooed across, "Squire, marry us
quick 1" at the same time pointing to the bust advanc-
ing with now audibly splashing oars. The squire took
in the situation in a twinkling, and shouted, "All
right; send on your papers." The young man picked
up a handy stone, and, tying the licence to it v.ith his
handkerchief, flung it across, while the young woman
was crying at the top of her voice, "Here they come!
They are ready to land. Do it quick, squire !" The
squire did it quick, and shouted the marriage
ceremony across the water, and bridged the yawn-
ing chasm with safety for those two willing hearts
and young lives so very near the brink. He ended,
"I pronounce you man and wife. Go and tell 'em
what God have joined together let no man burst
agypder. Young man, tie a dollar to another dornick
and heave it over." That little matter was all settled
nicely, and the young couple breathed again. They
were married and proclaimed man and wife so quick
that it made their heads swim. They could now dare
life and brave all the world, especially the eager pur-
suers who had landed from the boat. They turned
towards the skiff passengers with proud defiance.
and suddenly came to their sober senses. The boat
brought over the holy man of Hawsville, whom they
had engaged to marry thew, and his party and the
young couple felt a slight colour of shame in their
• faces.—Pictorial Worq.