The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1872-02-24 00:00:00

• TIT roil TAT.—(From " .Representatirs Ac-
tors," by W. Clarke Itussell).—The late 31r. Mossop
always sixtke in heroics. A cobbler in Dublin who
once brought him home his boots, refused to leave them
without the money. 3fossop returned during the time
he was disputing, and looking sternly, exclaimed
" Tell me. are you the noted cobbler I oft have heard
of ?" —" Yea," says tbe fellow ; "and I think you are
the diverting vagabond I have often seen,
RATEABLE PRoBEILTY.-1110 Poor Law De-
partment has laid before the house of Commons a
return which shows that the rateable value of property
In England and Wales, on which the contribution to
the common fund" wag calculated at Lady-day, 1870,
was £104,405,304 Old the amount of the gross eeti.
mated rental in 1570 was a1tg3,3e5,84?. The rateable
value, as settled by the assediteint.ttottees in the
valuation lists last approved for 18, PA4f15.051
and the gross estimated rental £'127,691,e05. 1:100
are the totals ; the return shows the amounts, comitY
by county. 'the return includes estimated amounts
, for the few Unions not yet revised by the assessment
committees, and includes the amounts for Unions and
parishes not under the Union Assessment Committee
Act of 1862. The expenses incurred by the committees
in the year 1870-71, and remuneration allowed to the
clerks amounted together to £31,451. The costs in.
marred by Guardians in appeals against the poor-rate
In the same period amounted to £7,004.

SUPPLY OF LADOUR /N AMERICA.—The follow.
ing is an extract from a letter from Mr. N. K.
Fairbank, chairman of the Empletritilt Committee of
the Chicago Relief and Aid Seciexr; MI4 bhP, 210th

3lechanies and labourers In vat ous parts of the country
are making a great mistake in coming to this city in search
of work. The supply of labour of all sorts is far in excess of
the demand, and will be for two months to come. These
Journals which are urging these people to come here at this
season are unintentionally doing them a cruel wrong. and
adding to a city already overburdened with the destitute."
--- - •

FOREIGN AFFAIRS.—MTS. Malaprop is anxious
to know whether this Don Juan Question between
England and America has anything to do with poor
Lord Byron.—Punch.
MUSICAL ATHLETICS.--Of all the discoveries
for which we are indebted to German professors, one
just published by Professor Schmidt may claim to rank
among the most singular (remarks the Poll Mall
Ga:ette). Hearing Herr Rubinstein play at a concert,
he took it into his head to count the notes which that
famous pianiste had played by heart, and found them
to amount to 62,990, fully justifying, therefore, an
assertion previously made by the physiologist Haring
that a pianiste's calling lays about the heaviest tax of
any upon the memory. Herr Schmidt wan, however,
not satisfied with this enumeration. Applying Austrian
neukreutzers as a dynamometer, he tested the pressure
requisite to strike a key on llerr Rubinstein's piano,
and found it to be equivalent to twenty-four neukreut-
zers, which is two and onedifth ounce. The force
exerted by the pianiste in playing the 62,990-note
piece he therefrom calculated to amount to nearly 914
cwt. Herr Schmidt then intruded into Herr von
Bulow's room and tried his piano, which has a harder
touch, but which no doubt Herr Rubinstein could have
played on perfectly well. Here the pressure would
have amounted to 118 1-10 cwt. The discovery may
be of interest to pianists who are unaware how great
an effort of muscle they go through in playing a piece,
but surely it requires a German professor to draw such
lesson from a concert.

THE DIVERSIONS or JURYMEN.—A trial has
lately been concluded in the United States in a case
of suspected poisoning, which created much interest.
The four of the jury, according to the report from New
York, who asked for conviction were the youthful
members of the jury, who held out more to be
obstinate and have a little sport with the "old
codgers," as they were pleased to call the elder mem-
bers of the jury, than for anything else. With such
hilarious spirits the night could not fail to pass gaily.
After a bounteous tepaat, a game of high jinks was
instituted. A " plethoric gentleman, with jovial face
and rotund proportions, assumed the chair of state,
and before him several juror were arraigned, tried,
convicted, and punished for minor infringements of
their improvised code. Variety to the proceedings
was given by occasionally taking a vote on the subiect
of the verdict. Finally. towards morning, the sport
palled, the most obdurate showed signs of relenting,
and an ample breakfast did the business." After a
night of suspense to the unhappy prisoner, the jury
gave the verdict of acquittal, on which they had
apparently all made up their minds twelve hours
before.

A PART FOR THE PRRMIER.—It isnot generally
supposed that Mr. Gladstone has any peculiar
aptitude which, were he a comedian, wruld especially
qualify him to play Sir John Falstaff. But there is one
speech cf Falstaff's which it may be imagined that our
Premier, with certain late promotions and a particular
remonstrance on one of them, in his mind, would de-
liver with full expression :—" Happy are they which
have been my friends; and woe unto my Lord Chief
Justice !"--Punch.

SOMETHING LIRE A NAME—Mr. Punch, dur-
ing a long and brilliant career. has had the satisfaction
of immortalising in his columns many illustrious,
many remarkalle, many appruisriate, many lengthy
names, but be does not remember ever to have
incurred so large an outlay for printing ink
as on the present occasion, when he deems it
his duty to recommend his readers at once
to begin to master the whole name of the
King of Siam, as a visit from that Monarch
to these shores is not an improbable event. His
Majesty's card will bear the following inscription -
" Pra Bat Somdetch Prabaramain Taramalia
Chulalonkon Klao Pra Chao Pen Din Siam." The
effect of this magnificient name, reverberating from
flight to flight in some great mansion in the West, can
hardly be exaggerated. Mr. Punch's fear is, that
the British footman will sink under it ; that the British
butler will make it an excuse for an advance of salary.
—Punch.
TH E MASSACRE IN LA PLATA. —Tho cor-
respondent of the Scotsman at Biggar (Lanarkshire),
writes that great gloom has been cant over that place
by the receipt of the news of the late massacre of settlers
by the Indians in La Plata, several of the victims
being natives of the locality. Mr. William Gibson
Smith left the district a few years ago, and his young
wife, a daughter of Mr. David Brown, Itowhead,
Biggar, only left last September to join him. She had
scarcely settled downlin her new home before the blood-
thirsty savages broke in upon their little colony during
the night, and both she and her hsuband were 'sacrificed
to their fanatical bate. The Indians were of the Gauchos
tribe, and had been assembled from all parts by a ring-
leader, who inflamed their passions by malicious mists'
presentations of the characters and designs of the white
and by appealinoi, to their love of plunder. Mr. and Mr.
Smith were much respected in the neighbourhood of their
old home, and much grief at their unhappy fate and
sympathy with the relatives is felt and expressed.
Several other natives of Biggar have settled near
Brawl°, within 15 leagues of the scene of the mama re,
and the arrival of the next mail is waited for with
much anxiety. Mr. William Stirling, who was left
for (lead by the savages, but who was expected to re-
cover, is also connected with the district, and is a
brother of Mr. Stirling, merchant, Peebles.