The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1874-04-04 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A New Orleans thief returned some abetracted
clothing that pixived too small, and wrote to the owner that
he would wait for him to grow.
Indianopolis boasts of a versatile divinity student
Who preaches in English, prays In Armenian, slop in Turkish,
and holds his tongue in eleven other languages.
' "

Under the head line " Miscellaneous Crimes"
Chicago paper announces the election of officers of the Mt
Louis Board of Trade.
The monthly nurse, irreeenting two little strangers
(twins) to a father for the fleet time 18 it," said he, blush-
ing, " to make a choice, madame?"
' - • '

• o•
Smith, the American poet Inore,•`••. lately wrote of
lance at his college as follow. Tlse rosined half of the
horse travelled merrily over the Intestines of the agile at,
evoking music to which the impatient loct tripped gaily upon
the floor." _

----
Parents with twins might take a practical hint froni
the fact that " Chang and Log " in the Siamese languago
mean right and left .

An explorer of Africa, on being congratulated, at a
reception In Washington, on his safe return from his perilous
travels, said :- -'• fih, its nothing to get safe through Africa
hut what I feel thankful for is, that I didn't get killed on my
Journey from New York to this city

- .
A Chicago editor who receives large supplies of
original poetry offer, to publiab it it paid nine dollars per
line.

-----
A San Francisco editor thus addressee an Oakland
brother :--You wallapus, you lethyodorulite, you bogus
haummehrysos, you- you ilaklander ."
An American gentleman recently purchased a dead
whale, and wrote to the editor of the local paper for in
formation how tro preserve it Fie was advised to "Put the
whale carefully into a gime bottle, cover it over witk,spirits
of wins (strong whisky may do), then cork and seal up.__

They have sunsets—something like sunsets, in Nobld
County, Ifinneesta. A resident writes :—" Our indescribable
beautiful sunset scenes come as near representing the opening
portals to the celestial republic of souls beyond as anything
my vision ever beheld."
- - -

One of our "born poets" some short time since lost
his wife, and in his grief giving up all worldly hopes and joys,
had his manuscript verses interred with his departed earthly
treasure. This is • rare instance of common sense and
lucidity on the part of a poet, and an example to the rising
manufacturers of manuscript which it would be well for them
to take to heart. If any one of them has not the chance of a
special occasion like the above, he can inter the paper
written upon is any back garden, and to a considerable
depth, it is to be hoped.
A Yankee paper " bursts into song" in the following
atrocious manner I told you a story, about Mr. Bone,
and then my story begun. Flow his beautiful daughter, saved
Mr. Reeves from the water, and now my story's undone, for
Boris hasn't any daughter
- -

An Illinois- edito-r thus sarcastically speaks of the
marriage of a professional brother in Indiana "He stopped
upon the hymeneal platform, adjuated the fatal noose, and
was swung it into that tinsilent bourne whence he can never
return save by the Indianapolis or eonnecting

A Western editor says that he will to put
down the cause of drunkenness. "As the cause of drunken-
flees is generally supposed to be strong liquor, he will no
doubt put it down without the least trouble," remarked his
rival in his next Mime.

A gentleman out West tried advertising for a wife.
It worked to a charm, as usual. Be says he has received in
answer to his advertisement, 794 letters, 13 daguerrotype
likenesses of lediee, two gold finger.rings, and 17 lociu of
hair.

An impertinent editor warns nu that " the battle is
not always to the strong." But that editor allowed on a
certain occasion, when a man was after hhn, that the race
was to the swift," remarks his rival

A Niamachuseetta girl announces, through the ad-
vertising columns of the local paper, that she " takes this
method of informing a certain young man, that the next time
he desires to gaze upon her forty.flve mortal minutes without
winking his eyes, she will consider herself highly favoured if
he will close his mouth, and not sit there likes young robin.
awaiting the parent bird."
An lowa gentleman recently shot a poatmaster fat
refusing to lick a postage stamp for the amiable and accom-
plished shouter.

A band of Ohio women gathered in front of a law-
yer's office by mistake, cud prayed and tang a long time.
against the use of spirits before they learned that the " spirit
within sold law. It Is calculated that their prayers will have
no fuller effect than that, having ascertained the lAMIOII of
some of the " leading ladies," the lawyer inteads to bring
actions against them

A Yankee editor and him wife were walking out in
the bright moonlight one evening Like all Yankee editors'
wives, the lady was of an eiceedingly poetic nature. and said
to her mate, " Notice that moon how bright, and calm,
and beautiful !" "Couldn't think of noticing it," returned
the editor, " ter anything less than the usual rater. dollar
and Ilfty cents, for twelve lines."

THE BLACK WATCH.— Mr. Macrae Moir gives
the following particulars respecting this famous regi
ment : The " Black Watch' is an appellation given to
certain armed companies employed to watch the high-
lands of Scotland. The term black arose from the
dress of this species of militia being composed of tar-
tan of a dark colour. In 1729-30 the companies
assumed a regular form. They were mix in number,
three companies of 100 men, each being commanded
by a captain, and three of 70 men, each commanded
by captain-lieutenants. The body was raised chiefly
from the loyal clans Campbells, Granta, and Munroe.
The whole of the companies in 1739 were formed into
the 42nd Regiment, under the Earl of Crawford.
PUBLIC INCOME AND EXPENDITURE. —The Go-
vernment balance-sheet for the year ended the 30th of
September, 1873, and the 31st of December, la 3,
has been presented in a Parliamentary Paper. The
total income for the year ended the 30th of September
was £77,428,998 17s. 2d. The total expenditure was
£75,202,230 13.. 6c1., leaving an excess, after deducting
the expenses of fortifications, £2,216,768 3s. Bd. In
the year ended the 31st of December last the income
WWI £77,712,676 15e. bd., and the expenditure
£76,216,186 is. lid After the expenses for fortifica-
tions, the excess was 1,496,490 13s 9d. The balances in
the Exchequer at the Bask of England and.** Bank
of Ireland on tho 31st of Dosombor loot wore £5,98,63,
161