The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1881-04-19 00:00:00

Mthinituts.

IMPROVED DRILL •ND DIROIPL111.—" Eyes Right I "
but no Lashes.

Tug evening had been consiyiaL "And sow, reatle,
men," said the chairtu.to, " porn..
THI following story is going the round of the Lawlor
oress : Lord liedesdale, somewhat shabbily droned, se Ii
hiA wont, recently went to see the Foreign Minister is
business. Knockinc at the door. he was reoslyed by the
footman, who, without knowing who Redesdele wins
informed him curtly that Lord ()marine was net 8111
home. " But look beret" continued the flunkey, "just fa
and get me a pint of arf.and.'arf, will you ? " precludes
a jug. "Certainly," replied Lord 8... and, the
sway be toddled after the beer. Bringing it he
handed it to the footman, who first of all took • rag**
pencher, and then Lord It., politely dskilinityr the Oat
A a drink, quietly remarked, 'Oh, by the way *rift
/our master comes in tell him that the Earl ot Redeedeie
:Ailed to see him !"

Dounta oft Quirts '—Scene: Flset-stasietleet of
Anderton'a Hotel (Midnight. Hansom cab discovered
'lining up and fare alighting).—Fare How tnuab?—
Driver (aside): He looks a green 'l3. I'll charge him
tiff. (To the fare): Five shillings, sir. —Fare : Only live
billings all the way from Charingiross, and so late M
tight too. Cabby, you must be making some mistake.—
!)river: No, sir. I likes to be reasonable when I meets
jenTman. And I knowed you wee one, sir, when yes'
ailed me.—Fare: Well get down, cabby, and heal" a
ittle drop to warm you; you need something this sort of
weather.- Driver: Thank 'ee, air. I just will We dset
wed 'ap u •ir. (flabby
dights.)—Fare : Well. now, i c
willw tell you what I will
to with you. cabby. You seem a decent fellow, and r.
ikely to be a good customer to you. I'll just race you to
die next lamp-post whether I pay you double or quite,
.nd I'll give you ten yards start. —Driver : Right, Mr.
fon is what I calla a good sort.;-(Both tako up their
viiitions, and the fare cries '• Go, and cabby starts off
it the top of bis speed, and never once looks round till he
eacbea the next lamp-post, and when he does he finds
hit his fare has also raced an fast as ever he could—ia
opposite direction !) —Driver (five minutes later):
Kell, I am Wowed I—(aud he was, for he hadn't sem
wough breath to call "Police.")—Cuckoo.
lilt PuWER OV A CAKPST TAC/L—Now, sir, let us
oo• at rt oarpet tack. \Vint is more common than a
urpet tack ? and yet what a remarkable amount of Wad
ilwer there is in it! For yeaze it will stay in one spoç
notionleas as death, and a person would not even give it
thought ; but place it in the bottom of • chair. and let
20011 i. man sit down on it, said whet will it do? Why
ir, it will lift him up 15ft. high and throw him the whole
lngth of the room, and make the house shake, his wife
cream, the dogs bark, and the police come; and yet
her, is not one man in a dozen who has any idea what
•irpettack can do when its power is brought into play.
rile keen eye of science looks beneath the surfaes of
biog., and is continually making new diacoveries. Take
ice chairs, and in one place • tack, and the first maa
4,110 comes along will sit down in the chair which has the
ack in it. People doubt this, but it is so, for this reason
I MAU is a vast magnet and conatanUy charged with
•lectricity, and the tack also is el , therefor* the
atraction between the two is great