The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1875-03-06 00:00:00

SELECTED ANECDOTES.

APT QUOTATION.—The poet Longfellow on one occa-
sion was at a dinner-party at which Nicholas Long-
worth was also present. Some one remarked to Mr.
Longfellow that his name and Mr. Longworth's
started out alike, but made a very dissimilar ending.—
"Yes," replied the poet, "and it only affords another
proof, I am afraid, that worth makes the man, the
want of it the fellow."
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JERR,OLD'S. CONTRIBUTION !-A gentleman waited
upon Donglas Jerrold one rooming to enlist his sym-
pathies in behalf of a mutual friend, who was con-
stantly in want of a round sum of money. "Well,"
said Jerrold, who had contributed on former occa-
sions, 'bow much does want this time?
"Why, just a four and two noughts will, I think, put
him straight."—" Well," said Jerrold, "put me down
for one of the noughts this time."

"SEVEN KNOTS AN HOUR !"—Lord Norbury was
celebrated equally for his wit and his severity as a
criminal judge. At one time, as • a special commis-
sioner appointed to try the culprits in one Of the Irish
rebellions, he had in course of a sitting convicted a
great many. "You are going on swimmingly. here,
my lord," said a counsel for the prisoners. "Yes,"
answered his lordship, significantly, "seven knots an
hour."
ENQUIRING AFTER HIS • ACQUAINTANCES !—When
Judge Hale, who had been a fierce swash-buckler in
his youth, sat in judgment upon one of his former boon
companions, he took advantage of the retirement of
the jury to ask the culprit in the dock sundry ques-
tions touching their old associates. "They are all
hanged, my lord," answered the knave, "except you
and me."
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DOCTORS TAKE NO REMEDIES.-Dr. Carrabns, whose 1
death has attracted some attention, was a very mijtty
man, and several of his bon mots are now floating about
the Paris press. On one occasion be was called to
attend a; very pretty actress, and after duly feeling her
pulse and looking at her tongue, he pronoun Ced that
marriage was the only cure.—" You are single, are you
not, my dear doctor r she asked.—" Yes, madame;
but doctors only prescribe remedies, they do not take
them," was the rejoinder.
THE CLOWN AND THE POET.—When Lord Byron
frequented the green-room of Drury Lane, he occa-
sionally met Paulo' the clown, whom he guessed, from
his name, to be an Italian. Paulo was English not
only to the backbone, but to the very roots of his
tongue, Paulo being merely his none de thedtre. His lord-
ship, thinking to please the interesting foreigner by the
dulcet sounds of the language of his native land, ad-
dressed him in the purest accents of Tuscany. Paulo •
was amazed, and wishing to reply politely to his noble
intyrrogator, a,nswerid---" Yes, For—l mean, my lord
--very likely; just 416r.0ta Ilia lordship, parositin,
mistake, wished him "Good night," and walked away.
"Old 'nn," said Paulo to his pantaloon, pointing to
the retreating figure' with the well-known black cloak
gracefully disposed to conceal the unfortunate foot,
see him ?" Yes."—" Lord Byron—poet."—" I
know." Paulo placed his mouth close to the panta-
loona ear, ancl whisßared—" Me4l7-ae, al batter 1

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