The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1873-07-12 00:00:00

AMERICAN CUTTINGS.

The following question is now being discussed before
the Bunctown Debating Society :-•••• Can a big man ache
harder than a little one I"

An enthusiastic Yankee editor, speaking of a new
prima donna, pays: "Her voice Is as soft as a roll of velvet,
and as tender as a pair of slopahop pantaloons."

- -
Young lady physicaus are multiplying throughout
our country, and as a result, It Is said, the young men are be-
coming more sickly than they used to be.
- - -

A Jefferson County farmer has named his pet ram
Eugene. He calla him the modern Eugene, A ram.
A puzzling question is about LI be discussed by the
Chicago bar. It to, " What may a lawyer not do for money "
A Chicago paper rays of a contemporary that "It
has eoutiled Os circulation. Another man takes a copy
. . .

--•
A reporter who attended a banquet in New York
concluded his description with a candid statement that it
Is not rilitinctly remembered by anybody present Who made
the hut *each."
- • • •

Smith, the Amezican poet-laureate, has done the
following for fourpence

'I and not dy to Ortum.
With pinches fit for Bain',
When the wavy koru is gettin' wipe,
And the candidate. are trestle';
When swage meld I. phrylue,
&hlk.ry nate Is thick,
Ow ! who wad think of dytni,
Or even gettin' alck r LO
We have often 10,k.-d for a sel • •. that would
Clearly explain it A Western paper fondly 'applies the
want in this histatifnl 'ltalie—. You might at well try to
shampoo an elephant with a thimbleful of soapsuds as to at
tempt to do hotness and Ignore advertising."
. „

'the title of s book we observe is, " Wag she en-
gaged ," We of course hare no personal knowledge of the
ant.j,et ; hot, on R•120.1+1 principles, we Amadei*, that It was
not htr fault If she wasn't.

It rained the other evening in Indlanopolie, and
there was an entertainment. A young gentleman said to a
young Inth, 4. Poi I have the pltasure of protecting you
wit) toy umbrella? Said she, with her lovely, roan., rx-
prePslve eyes looking full into hie, Put up your derma old
. .

A We4tern wiper, describing the Mut of a young
orator, se)s :—'lie broke tte ice lelicttuuly with his open•
lug, and was almost Immediately drowned with applause."
A Maesschneette paper tells of a coloured woman
who had been lately converted. but was so untutunste as to
fly into . passion over the misdoing. of one of her neigh-
bour's youngsters. liar mistress rediarked upon the Inipro-
lwiety of ouch conduct it. the vise of one ab ui to Join the
Church and received this frank response —"I: have
'soerienced relleion, an' l'se guise to Join a Church ; but,
Ws. Bole, ill trash dat nigger Inlet."
-

A her- keeper in Virginia city, Nevada, peete tip the
following " regulations" by his bar—' Drink plain drink.;
buy them at thin bar; eat a light lunch: PsY coin for what
you get ; drink light hut often; ask at your friend* to
drink ; don't beg toothpick.; don't try to spar the bar-
keeper • keep six shooteri uncooked , don't steal the daily
paper., be virtuous, and you will be happy.
- - -• •

There are to many thieves in New York that they
prop.e to form a •miety to reform some of their number,
and thus prevent them ',mitten trim being ruined.

The editor of the Peekshill Advertiser has received
the following note from • resident of that town Mr
E Murk—What did you print my family meters in your
paours for It is none of your bisneas if my wife did have
twins 1 psys f.,r them and you nits your head pinched you
had better tend to ye' own billies. Is the advice of 6--
L—."
. .

Th.«, wild man ham been caught once more, this time
In Titus county, Text!. 0, course ha eats nothing but raw
meat, and he barks like a dog.

•
In the South.west it to said that when the members
of the lesislet-tre with to d •scribe the effects of lynching,
they aneak of a man " kleckg at the United States from the
end of a tight rope."
A Titusville man, being jealous, askesi his wife to get
him some poison. She oheyed, kit him to tale it, Molted
through the keyhole and saw him pour It out of the window%
Then she came back and he began to die for her benefit,
kicking about and making a great disturbance Then *he
said she would die too, 'notched up and drank off the rest eff
the poison, and alter he bad called In all the neighbours
and fur physicians, she told Mat that the poison ram
liquorice water.
-

•
The Detroit papers have discovered a new method
of driving army the organ grinders. Every day or two they
have a small paragraph like On :—organ-grinder. in
Memphis make about ten dollars a day."

Anion broke a chair over his wife'e head a short
limo ago When he got to gsol, and the clergyman under-
took to talk with him, he displayed a good dud of penitence.
He said he was very sorry that he had permitted his anger to
obtain the mastery of him and to suffer him to do such an
act, because it was a good cheir, one of those good old-
fashioned Windsor chairs, which Yu an heirloom in his
faml y, and he knew he never could replace It.