The Press.
London, England, 1855-01-20 00:00:00

JANUARY 20, 1855.

WHICH NEWCASTLE?
The want of fuel is very severely felt in front by all the troops. Is there no owl in Herscles ?
le Nsweastk exhausted t—Ttstes, Jan. 14,1865.

Yes, forsooth! hut which Newcastle ?
That on Tyne or Under-line,
Or the one at Clumber Castle?
We can vouch for this Newcastle.

This Newcastle, gentle querist,
Is exhausted, as thou hearest;
All its surface coal and coke,
Long has vanish'd into smoke,
And the small-coal it can raise
Flickers,—how unlike its blaze
To the Pitts of former days !

This is not the coal to lighten
Looks of gloom or homes to brighten,
Driving► chill, corroding damp
From the cottage, Court, or camp ;
This is not a coal that throws
Radiant heat o'er winter snows,
That struggles with encroaching frost,
Revives the numb, restores the lost,
And kindles up the hearts of heroes
When sinking to their several zeros.
If other sources fed the fires
Whiclt of old rejoiced our sires,
And supplied a conquering nation's
Bonfires and illuminations,
This will only steam and smoulder
As we colder grow and colder.
Never shall we fully warm us
By a festal blaze enormous,
Never hold victorious wassail
By the light of this Newcastle.

VOLUNTEERING FOR THE FOREIGN
LEGION.
A WHITEHALL LIBRETTO.
[Enter VoLuNTERn for the Foreign Legion, tastefully attired in blouse and slouch cap.
Deposits carpet lag, and address., O'MULLIO kN, MO, B.]

Aut—" The Red, White, and Blue.
VOLUNTEER.
Oh! Beeler! now bleese swill you show to
A soldier by guilders inspired
The probber War•ofice to go to,
Where Voreign Inlistmints is hired?

150, B.
Oh ! then 'tis myself can't acquaint ye—
I think 'tis ne'er one o' the two ;
Can't ye go to the devils that sent ye?
I'm bothered till all's black and blue.
There's one round the corner behind there,
There's t'other right over the way;
But what sort of business they mind there,
Neither clerk, scout, or porter can say.
And faith, if you're only so diver
As this puzzle to find your way thro',
You'll be able your way to diskiver
Right into Sebastopol too.

[Exit VOLUNTYER to the Minister of War's Um]

VOLUNTEER.
Oh ! Portaire ! Portaire, can you tell,
Will a soldier, bound to sell
To the best account his wares,
Find a purchaser up-stairs?
PORTER.
It ain't in my line—l cawn't indeed.
P'raps they'll tell you overhe-e-ad.
[V,

aseencis to the Arai-floor.]

VOLUNTEER.
Clerk with Times and back to fire,
Migb•. a man of-arms inquire
Vacancies, and what's the pay?
CLERK.
No, he mayn't, it's o'er the way !
Read on, Jones ! " The snow is passed ;
The tents can almost stand the blast ;
Nothing decisive since my last"

VOLUNTEER.
Mein Gott! It must be here, I swear!
They told me here right over there !

CLERK.
Come, get along, and you take care
You ain't locked up for jabb'ring there.

[Vournm toff down and main assaila 160, B.

of

VOLUNTEER.
Oh ! Beeler upon me have pity ;
Where's "here " and " there," tell me, I pray?
150, B.
Och ! that I were back in the city.
Move on wid ye out o' my way !

VoLusr€Eu (exit soliloquising).
If "here" is " there," it must be plain
That " there's " not " here "—l'll cross again !

LEWers War•efice.)

PORTER.
I say, hold hard ! hi! hollo ! you!
I thought I said you can't go through.

VOLUNTEER.
I will, tho' the Lord May'r said no ! •
CLERIC (entering).
Oh! Ah! I see ! You—oh !—ah I—oh !
Yoti d better walk about a week or so !
And then indeed we'll—that is—perhaps, we'll try
To which department you are to apply.
[Exit VOLUXULER tearing his hair, and swearing he'll go through Prussia to the Czar]