The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1874-12-05 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A Chicago man wants the thief who stole his well.
bucket and rope to come back and get the well, as it is of no
use now.
A Louisville dairyman has been fined for not putting
enough milk in his water.
A married couple in Springfield have not spoken to
each other for years. The man boasts that he has the
happlest home in the country.
A New Orleans merchant having striven in vain to
find a burglar-proof safe, now hangs a card on his safe-door,
saying to all corners, "Don't waste your powder; the key is
in the drawer."
A young lady of Logan County, Kentucky, has ad-
vertised for sealed proposals for her hand and hi-art." Ills
not stated whether she will take the lowest "tender."
One of the sufferers by a late railway accident was
rushing wildly about, when some one asked if he was hurt.
.No," he said, "but! can't flud my umbrella."
When a Philadelphia critic wishes to be very ex-
pressive, he compliments a dramatic star by saying that she
shines like a brass tack in an old hair trunk.

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"Stricken down in the prime of life," is what a
Mississippi paper has to say on the death of a man of eighty.
In giving geography lessons down East, a teacher
asked a boy what State he lived in, and was amused at the
reply drawled through the boy's nose, A state of sin and
misery."
An Eastern editor, speaking of a brother contem
porary, says that he must be a believer iu hydropatby, for he
Hes in wet sheets.
During an irksome delay of two hours on the Troy
and Boston Ilailroad, the other day, two young men, Just to
kill time, proposed to toes young ladles respectively, and a
clergyman being at band, were married on the spot.
AM ssachusetts tradesm.ri says "A na.n whole
owing me a little bill, said he would call Mot week and pay
mu if he coo alive lie still appears in the street, but, as he
did not call, it is naturally supposed he is dead. and Is walk
Mg about to save funeral expenses."
- A ftfissouri judge delivered a unique de ,th sentence.
He Raid to the candidate for the gallows If guilty, you
richly deserve the tote that awaits you ; if innocent, It
will be a gratitleytion for you to feel that you were hanged
without sue', a crime on your conscience ; in either case you
I will be deliveredfrom a world of care"
• "

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Josh Billings gives some advice ton young lade as to
how she should receive a proposal -.—rou ought t.. take it kind,
looking down hill, with all expreshun about half tickled and
half scart. After the pop in over, If pure luvyer wants tew
kiss you, I don't think I would say yes or no, but let the
thing kind ov take its own course.
A member of the Arkansas Legislature, who goes
for economy in public expenditure, in speaking of an ex-
travagant appropriation, indignantly exelainie.l, " Gentle,
men, talk about' adequate compensation of public servant.'
Why, sir, during the late war. I was in thirty-seven battles,
was wounded thirteen times in the cause of the South, and
the entire pry I received was thirty dollars in Confederate
money, every cent of which I gave for 000 glass of old rye

During last week the mean temperature at the
Royal Otaerratory, Greenwich, was 52 degrees, or 8 degrees
below the average. Ike highest day temperature in the
shide was 434, grass on Saturday, and the LAtestp.t. night 25
e- Frnisy As ,hoeing the vffect of tb,..,..c7 -rather
up. 0 the nontslit.), It Indy I. statati that AUL, of
odagewutula treat all coos" which in the f.tg. "e.k.
fog the I,lth November avenged only 44, hove rhea in the
past, two weeJni to 73 and St respectively , the latta number
Included 13 ol persons aged 0 start and upward&