The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1861-06-04 00:00:00

II idtings from Pundj.

A DEBIT OarraucttoN.—(D'lsraeli Aabiled as a
London cotiermonger, riding is a donkey cart )—to
(Lord Palmerston' al &lip, Mr. Gladstone, aa tàe
Gentleman me the Bar, and Lord John' as tiger, in a
finet.rate tarn-oitt.)—" Shan't get out of the way, I'd
like to upset the lot of yerr

FASHIONABLE OBSTBUCTION.—The enormous ampli-
tude which female dresses have attained to is productive
of peculiar inconvenience to pedestrians in haste, walk-
ing through fields and lanes. Owing to the present
width of skirts, it takes • little woman five minutes to
get through a great gate.
Tug ADVANTAGE OF STUTTERING. —A young author
(we will not mention names) has the lining of his hat
completely blackened with ink. The wonder was bow
the spoke could have got there, because authors do not
generally carry their inkstands inside their hats, when
a Wag present, who stuttered (and if he hadn't stut-
tered, he could not have made the joke)
that 'probably it might be the result ofulirr-
IT'S Jun LIRE THEIR CONCEIT !—" Women," says •
litersry Hermit, "might have some reason to be proud
of being the more beautiful half of the human race, if
the other wasn't so confoundedly ugly."
A DARE istimar.—Would the Herald's College be
kind enougli to inform us whether "Black Monday,"
that we so often bear spokes of is any relation to the
"Mare Friday" that was so attached to Robinson
Crowe? Being both of the same complexion may
possibly bring them within the pale of such • proba-
bility ? However, their disporitiona are certainly very
different, for schoolboys, who, as a class, generally
evince the greatest love for the Mae "'richly, do not
hesitate to express their profound hatred for Black
Monday!
SHALL CRUMBS OF COMFOET.—III &WM to • ques-
tion from Lord 13erners, Earl de Grey said that the
, reason why those who were entitled to the Delhi prise
money had been kept out of their share three years and
, a half, was because the Government had been unable
I "to complete the rolls of accounts." This will be
1 great comfort to the poor soldiers, to know that be-
cause the rolls are not ready, they are to be kept out
of their bread. In the meantime they may starve—
Government cannot help it—the rolls must not be
hurried! We little thought it took three years and •
half to make • roll—and it is not ready yet! We will
cooclude by putting the following sum to the Indian
Office —"if: it takes four years to make • rat, how
long will those who are entitled to the larger prizes,
such as • quartern loaf, have to wait'?" In the art of
"cooking acwrunta," Government sadly neglects the
baking department.

LINES BY A COCKNEY.
Addressed to a yowl, Lady, bus dropped by some mis-
take iato Mr. Peach's letter-bor.

Sweet hanpl, whom I met last have
Hat 11r.. Harthur's 'op,
1 'ope that you will give me leave
A question now to pop.

I mind me now when in the 'all
Your arrive w .5 hannounced,
You hashed me to hadjust your shawl,
Hon which with 'aste I pounced.
Then heavr to your Ma you ran,
She anxious to be gone,
I 'card 'er call you Mary Hann, •
Or helms 'twas Mari-hon.
Mow, Mary-Hann'. name I 'ato
Has much as Betey-Jane,
I mold not beer to link my fat*
With such a 'orrid name;

But Mari•hon I like as well
As hang name I know;
Then, hangs', I implore thee tell,
post spell it with a Ho?