The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1885-03-31 00:00:00

ODONENTB

Amor Patio : Tao Kaquimang thinks Ware is no plias
like home.
Wben you lose your breath don't &sae it : you'll notch
lisa nor by standing sill.
„Antridlng ths valuer ;K..Ammlufn Onsbington sneak.
"lowa weerns of loaned. Rho never could
bring herself to say L nt. lii. painfully sulker. you know.
Pe, asked young Jobanle Jirphlf wlent is • d•t•ult•r
Re la • mao that lo••• money the. does not belong to
blra, my son, replied Mr. infield,- And nil" is. "'La-
cier. Ono who bang. Into it.
K.ng K•laksna, of the lisuelwlch Island.. cannot help
being a dont Ulan. IT.. reason imbrued Is that his
ancesnors ale sn naueb missionary In their time that It
work-4 Into Weir syetem and was transmitted to their
Asseendante.
A batter mei one of hie debtors peas him by in the
street without eny tic .snittan of his existancr, and '
b cams as ma i as—a batter. Cones Ike
fellow he says. be might whoa I bow to him, hare at
Lunt had We decency so lift my bat
-

_
This to the time when the farmer
8 to hp his chimney's blase.
And talks with the elf. of his bosom
Of the goat old bygone de's;
While th• tois struck son of his neighbour
Bite in asiotticr room
AA talks t it. (armor's clactltt4 r
Of the splendid days to c me.
•
How do 10,1 Ilk* your bser Hag blues, Cdrasonbeek
'slit • friend to Viet indivtinal when ttp-p met on the
street. Fir rata I aa.trarld Crinisontrisk. Any life
down there I Lots of It hut it is ell coufloed to the
chaste.

Signs : Main den L when. Berlin. A countryman
&Polies to a studtat to direct him the short St way ti the
police station. Just rho into the Jeeell,r's shop ant.m
the road. Irak up a Ma mind bracelet, then walk straight
out, sad von will got there In a fest minutia
Jone--Tes, air. iii. mightr hat a to collect money jolt
now. I know It. Smith—lodesd. Hero you tried to
a Meet and (mid I J.ne.-01 no. Smith-11.w, then,
do yen know 'het tummy 11 'WWI to Coil•Ct I Joao.—
atomise several poopio have tried gi no tact of me.

RICYCL% DUOS.
A ptomain' ride,
A suit.. •e,
A bruimd and battered form.
A leaching girl,
With flying curl.
Help. ths 'meter so forlorn.
A month of e.lm,
To nimil an arm.
Rt• n 0,,. that charming dams.
Gay Cup.d'a dart,
P C) ol.r. heart,
And kindled loris bright dams.
Mr. Winks-03.1nm' ins I There is a young coup'
looking at that vacant houm next d tor. and they're got
a baby—looks awful erre% too. Um Winks—Rorrors I
What shall wa do I Cat we scare tmim off soma way
Go tall than ths roof leaks and the walls ars damp. and
—trll them the last tenant died of smallpox. I'd like to,
dear, but It wouldn't do. Tim landlord would for
damag... Oh I mercy bat lotnething most he dote,
Mr. Winks, baton, they dectida to taiga It. Oh Ido think
of sinittlitne. I beim It. Ran down to the piano and
slug • Sw•et Violet'
. .

eieieeisle-e—Zas being performed In a provincial
city, and the closing act sac ti wailers the death of the
heroine trom poison, administered by ber lover. The
end approached, wh..n the lover said: I have forgotten
the vial. Kill is. with a platol or • doteor. whlepired
the actress I bays neither. Kill me quickly, for the
nadir's°, is impatient, sbe exclaimed. Au inspiration
seized hire: and se aim turned ho revs bet a kick. She
faltered acid fell, exclaiming—l die by the band of the
poisoner. It was an effective climax.
I am going to keep • diary ; won't you kindly tall me
how to begin It? Lily—Well, to tell you the honest,
nude truth. W. we doe t know mach about thin matte,,
but we have seen several young ladiee' diarim and they
all begin Got up at eight o'clock played the piano one
boor; went into the kitchen and watched mother dean-
lug the Move ; want down to Mabel'.; Mabel le horrid
took. nap after dinner :an tired out; Olaude called in
the .natal; I sin so happy. Odour I

NOW TO TREAT • GUEST.
Give no more to every guest
Than hen able to dlaest ;
Of,. him always of the prime,
And hot little at • lima.
jr,sin ufkaer—Tat Ira e very mated nis OsleOf nil cid*
iseloibt. wasn't It! Its me. 701 nm dresaid, and
.ppirently well to to. Not • het like the ordinary
suicide. Second ofilar—l don't gee anything! very
mystecious about it. It @track me that it wag a very
ordinary cuss. Bat there was nothing toted on him to
indidati tba Orel' of the deed. ON yes there was.
Wbetwulif His marriage catificate.
So you like it'. Ammon I V-s. mother. I love him.
R. Ii e . efier my nwo heart. I am afraid, par
daughtar. that be 0001 care much tor your bean I
thigh ha is after yo r father'. mon... yoinap
Illinoislan—Y n hive wor• Wiliam S.altespearia
plays, of aura lifwaartan—Ooe or to of them only.
Illlnoialan—Well, vast do you think of Shakespeare no
a playwright! Missourian—l took upon him as a Adolf
Oran.