The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1878-09-24 00:00:00

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Cuttings from tbr Comic's.

AirfEß MARRIAGE.
MIZE DATE 107111,
" Mr precious popey-wopsy, love,
I'm going out," he aottlgell,
Au.l she upon his manly
All lovingly reclined her head.
" You will not leave your birdie r
"I will not, darling, rest content"—
And then they kissed a dozen times:
"Bye-by " Tiste r Arid so hs want
THIEZ WERKS AFTER.
'My deer, Pm going out to-night
Pray don't sit up —I may be late"
She laughed • pretty little laugh :
"Oh, never fear, I shall not wait."
Then, having lighted his cigar,
Above her in the chair he bent,
And kissed her, somewhat languidly,
A single kiss—and to he went

"Irene, I'm going out to-night"—
She does not raise her eyes
From Mrs. Blankwhite's latest tale,
Nor does it mules him much surprise
lie liume an Offenliachish air,
And pine upon his coat • roes—
" I'm out " She coolly says:
"Why don't you go r And so ha goes.

TARIF

AFT.

" Yes Mrs..E7Fm.g7ini JtieF-
"Twould be • blaring if you'd stay r
I wish upon my soul I might r
"You horrid search 'What. that you My"
" I only wish I was a man,
Your insults then I'd soon nwent r
" I wish you were and not my wife r
And, followed by the broom, he went.

ASSAULT BY A SUNDAY SOHOOL SUPTAIN-
TF.NDENT.
Thursday, at the Bath County Conrt. the Judge (Hr. C.
F. D. Gaillard) guys Judgment in the case of James
Vizard it Alfred Neste, which was an action to recover
.1,50 for an assault. The plaintiff is • pups of to.
Sunday School, of which the defendant is the
superintendent, and during a school treat it WU alleged
that the defendant violently &moulted the plaintiff
consequence of the latter misbehaving himself. ?11.
evidence was very confbctiog ae to the deers,. of puwah.
meat the defendant indicted, but hie Honour considered
the plaintiff entitled to .C 3 and gave a verdict far Utah
amount with costa

PULPIT PROFANITY.
While /Newberg of culture and discretion maintain
a raver= silence in the face of appalling calamjty.
which bees the Intellect, and climb painfully with the
popular conception of an overruling Providence, there
are not a few void of sweetness or p .fritt who oy
wanton diareprd of palpable facto na oy ascribing tbs
attributes of dialxdism to are guilty of what IS
scarcely t'insuishable from fiat bla•Plmnr• An
every item; of Mr. Spurgeon's Is duly printed, chug.
late 4 and read in every corner of the globs, wisile GU
'Pedal omegas' his utterances WO riad at
In tha daily ampepses, it is rralirs

purely secular journal to protest against the public
propagation of sentiments which are • shock to
oirrality and decency, and which do grave dishonour
to the higher instincta of enlightened men. As beings
blamed with eyes to see and brains to think, we base
come to boil far more tirmlythanisimidiesiliYthe term
belief, that if we put our fingers in the firs they will be
burnt. If a commonplace law of Nature is broken or
disregarded, a commonplace catastrophe will result. It
is against such a lave that a solid body should pass
through another solid body without injuring it ; and it
Is also such a law that if two ships are steered to run
into each other, mischief will ensue proportionate to
the force of the collision. Equally as it within the
comprehension of the infant mind that the human
&ninon' does the wrong thing at times, sometimes
wilfully, sometimes saddentally.
But this philosophy, though good enough for the
conduct of the world's weekday business, is contempt-
uously flung aside by_the seventh day dabbler in the
divine mysteries. at are in reality axiomatic
truths are et*matilied by him as the philos Thy of
ignorance, and as a consequence the preacher
to prove to us conclusively hie ignorance of phiro7oPht
Mr. Spurgeon quite understands the whole antecedent
history of the calamity off Woolwich, from the original
Inception of the idea to its accomplishment, with the
intenti ins of Providence in compassing it. These are
the words of Our oracle: "This calamity was per.
mitt.d and controlled by the overruling hand of God."
"The calamity was sent with a particular purpose."
It is difficult to understand why God permits evil,"
seeing that if, Is always Master of the situation; but
it is quite certain that there is much moral evil and
great physical evil which God permits, and which He
could, ef He liked, stop." He might have interfered to
avert this disaster; "but it was His pion that things
should be am they are, and this plan was carried out
under the shadow of the Pall" 'They had to die
some day, anl they might as well die one way as
another:'' If God were to interpose to prevent such
calamities, that of itself would involve many evils."
The tendency of man to make God in his own image
was condemned by more than one father of Greek
philosophy, but to apply this disposition to Mr.
Spurgeon would be to subject onessll to an action for
the foulest slander that could possibly be devised
against an amiable and humane gentleman. How
comes it, then, than one with so large a heart is Mr.
Spurgeon can ever conceive of such a Deity as he
creates? Mr. 'Spurgeon le nominally a Calvinist;
has he dared to Calvinim his Creator? Within
the last ten days about a thousand souls hays
perished in England alone by calamities sudden and
tearful; parse* babes, maidens, alike have been
tortured to death by fire, by pestilence, by sewage-
water. The quick extinction was ice them,
ec.t.L.d more exquisite torture of slow death by heart-
break is for the thousands who mourn; and are we to
bear unmoved the sanctimoniously complacent cant
which poisons the Fountain of All Goodness with
nonsense and impiety Logic is . much beneath, as
the true reverence of humility is above, these arbitrary
manufacturers of a maglignant Deity. So limited
are their perceptions that their fall to observe their
ludicrous inconsistency in tabooing and ridiculing
"mere human reason, while all the time they are
making prodigious efforts to prop up their irreverent
dogmas by appeals to that very reason whose principles
and processes they mangle as they borrow. Az if to
prove hew certainly ossification of the heart sets in
after a severe course of Calvinistic theology, Mr.
Spurgeon in his airiest way supplements the horrors
of that fearful night by comforting the bereaved with
the thought that after all "they might as well die one
way as another," the acme of bliss being no doubt
attained by these who were trampled to death after
listening to him in the Surrey Music-hall on Sunday.
It is a reflection on the me that such utterances
should be possible in our midst. The School Boards
are doing splendid work' but, unfortunately, they
come too late for full-fledged charletans, who hide
their ignorance of the facts and laws of this world by
assuming to know everything relating to • world
which" eye hath not seen nor heart conceived." These
unacrupulous pretenders must learn the lesson of humble
reverence before the meat unknowable, even if they
cannot be made to feel the sting of resentment for the
pangs their heedless verbage has added to those already
vrrought by bereavement. Then might they come to
perceive dimly the huge wrong they do to God and
man by virtually bidding juries return verdicts,
"Done by the act of God," in these frightful
calamities. If Mr. Spurgeon should still incline to
dogmatise upon the unknown, he might pftbably
meditate, before repeating his libel on Deity, on the
desirability, in the interests of justice, of Providence
selecting a given number of our worst criminals—
!inch aa are confined for life—for its next experiment
in "sending" sudden death 'for a particular purpose."
If 600 of them social parasites happened Vibe coled
ins " coffin.ship,"and an " accidental" collbion caused
them to "depart, which is far better." we should of
course be duly grieved, yet our sorrow would be
mitigated by the comforting reflection that for once
Providsmoe was impartially providential, became 600
irreproachable and barmleer men, woman, and children
have been saved.— World.