The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1876-01-29 00:00:00

AMERICAN HUMOUR.

A Philadelphia woman swore that her husband's
conduct was enough to irrigate an angeL"
A Chicago man has fitted up a fiddle to run by
steam. And the horrified neighbours are looking about
for some contrivance that will enable them to run by steam.
A New York paper tells us that a favourite hotel is
to be kept this season at one of the watering-places "by the
widow of Mr. Jones, who died last mummer on a new and
improved plan."
A hatter in New York advertises that "Watt's on
the Mind" is of great importance, but what's on the head
of greater.
A bon New York blew off a part of a finger with
a pistoL7he other day. A remarkable coincidence is the
fact that the pistol and the finger went off together, although
not previously acquainted with each other.
In a store in Fulton-street, New York, is the
placard. "God helps those that help themselves. But God
help those caught helping themselves in this store."
When you go to Kansas and hear the young ladies
speak of "flipping toes," don't let it alarm you They are
only referring, in the native tongue, to dancing.
A young man at Niagara having been crossed in
love, walked out to the precipice, took off his clothes, gave
one lingering look at the gulf beneath him, and then went
home, His body was found next morning in bed.

The latest in the way of self-praise, is an Indiana
editor who played a few tunes on an old banjo under his
office window, and then thanked the serenader in his next
issue for delightful music.
A lady in Louisville, Kentucky, was robbed a few
nights since, by a man who secreted himself in her chamber
until she had retired. The box containing her jewellery and
that containing her rouge were just alike and the thief took
1 the wrong box. She looked pale on discovering her loss, but
' her colour came again the next day.
I
1" A coroner's jury in Illinois, in rendering a verdict
as to the death of a young man who had been shot, gave it
as their opinion that "the fatal wound was probably in-
flicted by a gun or pistol." Very probable.
A Western orator, warming with his subject, ex-
claimed, "There is not a man, woman, or child, in this
house, who has arrived at the age of fifty years, but has felt
this truth thundering through their minds for centuries !"
A California paper announces that there is a woman
In that State who is 107 years old, and adds, "Her parents
can point to her with pride as a sample of their success in
raising children."
' As an early morning train stopped at a station on
the Harlem Railroad (United States), an old gentleman with
a cheerful countenance stepped out on the platform, and in-
haling the fresh air, enthusiastically exclaimed, "Isn't this
Invigorating?"—"No, sir; it is Fordham," replied the con-
scientious guard. The cheerful old gentleman went back to
his seat in the carriage.
A Chicago political essayist once published an essay
entitled, " Does Protection Protect?" The Cincinnati
Inquirer, treating of the detectives of Cincinnati, asks,
1 " Does Detection Detect ? " And now'the Louisville Conrier
'1
inquires' " Juts Election Elect
1 A Yankee musical critic thus speaks of a prima-
; donna :—" She had, and, we suppose, still retains, a magnifl-
cent voice for a fog-whistle. Its compass was perfectly sur-
prising. She would shake the chandelier with a wild whoop
that made every man instinctively feel for his scalp, and fol-
lowed It up with a roar that would shame a double bass."