The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1878-02-23 00:00:00

HE COULDN'T SEE IT.

"I can't see it," said Buffer, "nobody reads all
these little advertisements. It's preposterous to think
it." "But," said the editor, "you read what interests
you?" "Yes." "And if there's anythbag that
you particularly want, you look for it?" "Certainly."
"Well, among the thousands upon thousands who
help to make up this busy world of our's everything
that is printed is read. Sneer as youplease, I do assure
you that printer's ink is the true open sesame to all
business success." And still Buffer did not see it. He
didn't believe that one-half of those crowded advertise-
ments were ever read. "Suppose you try the experi-
ment," said the editor; "just slip in an advertise-
ment, of the want of one of the most common
things in the world. For the sake of the test I will
give it two insertions free. Two will be enough; and
you may have it jammed into any out-of-the-way nook
of my paper you shall select. Two bisections of only
two lines. Will you try it?" Buffer said of course
he would try it. And he selected the place where he
would have it published—crowded in under the head
of "Wants." And he waited and saw the proof of his
advertisement, which appeared as follows :—" Wanted.
—A good house dog, Apply to J. Buffer, 575, Towser-
street, between the hours of six and nine p.m."
Buffer went away smiling and nodding. On the follow-
ing morning he opened his paper, and after a deal of
bunting he found his advertisement. At first it did not
seem at all conspicuous. Certainly so insignificant a
paragraph, buried in such a wilderness of paragraphs,
could not attract notice. After a time, however, it began
to look more noticeable to him. The more he loak-ed
at it the plainer it grew. Finally, it glared at him
from the closely-printed page. But that was because
he was the person particularly interested. Of course
it would appear conspicuous to him. But it would
not be so with others. That evening Mr. Buffer was
just sitting down to tea (Buffer was a plain, old-
fashioned man, and took tea at six) when the door-bell
was rung. The servant announced that a man was at
the door with a dog to sell. "Tell him I don't want
one." Six times Buffer was interrupted while taking
tea by men with dogs to sell. Buffer was a man who
would not lie. He had put his foot into it, and be
must take it out manfully. The twenty-third appli-
cant was a small boy with a girl in company,
who had a ragged poodle for sale. Buffer bought
the poodle of the boy, and immediately pre-
sented it to the girl, and then sent them off.
To the next applicant he was able truthfully to answer
"Don't want any more—l've bought one." The
stream of callers continued until nearly ten o'clock, at
which hour Buffer locked up and turned off the gas.
On the following evening as Buffer approached his
house he found a crowd assembled. He counted 39
men and boys. There were dogs of every grade, size,
and colour, and growl and howl. Buffer addressed
the motley multitude and informed them that he bad
purchased a dog. "Then what d'yer advertise for ? "
And Buffer got his hat knocked over his eyes before
he reached the sanctuary of his home. Never mind
about the trials and tribulations of that night.
Buffer had no idea that there were so many dogs
in existence. With the aid of three policemen
be got through alive. On the next morning he visited
his friend the editor, and acknowledged the corn.
The advertisement of "wanted " was taken out, and
in the most conspicuous place, and in glaring type, he
advertised that he didn't want any more dogs. And
for this advertisement he paid. Then he went home
and pasted upon the door, "gone into the country."
Then he hired a special policeman to guard his pro-
perty. From that day Josephus Buffer has never
been heard to express doubts concerning the efficacy
of printer's ink; neither has he asked, "Who reads
advertisements? "—American Paper.