The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1871-04-01 00:00:00

AMERIUN HUMOUR.

A Washington reporter in commenting on the de-
mocratic character of General Sherman's receptions, rays .
" Any gentleman with a paper collar and mitten, on can go

A Kentucky town has a lauching club, which de-
clares its belie! that frequent cachnmation is essential to the
preservation of health, and that association is productive of
this essential.
A recently married lady lately consulted her lawyer
on the following question—" As I wedded Mr. Smith for his
wealth, and that wealth is now spent, am I not, to all intents
and purposes, a widow, and at liberty to marry again?'

- -
According to Josh Billings, it is very- dithkult
tew kalkulate upon success, unless a man sets up f,,r a
phool—in this department I have known hundreds to cut-
eeede, contrary to their expectashuna
—• ••

•
The polite way in which the Americana put matters
evidently la exemplified in the! °Rowing statement —'A little
negro gentleman, wanting to attend his father's funeral,
asked the schoolmaster for a holiday to go a-black.berrylug.'
A fashionable New York lady of rather at-
tenuated figure, while in the hands of her dressmakers be-
came alarmed at the spaciousness apportioned to her bodice,
and declared thatehe could never wear It, and the silk had been
wrongly cut. 'Pardon me, mademoiselle," said the module;
'the design ts quite correct; the fitting is exactly as it
should be. I have made your arms, and now I must bring
you up to it !"
SOMETHING. LIKE A 11011 SM—A man in Wisconsin
advertises his horse for sale, and thus discourses :—" Thou
canst trust thy labour to him, for his strength is great. Thou
caned bind him with his baud in the furrow he will harrow
the valley after thee. He will gather thy seed in the barn.
! His strength is terrible, in which he repiceth. Be pswett:
Lhe valley, and wsketh proud in his speed. Ile mocketh at
! fear, neither turneth his back from the hobgoblin. Lo' how
! he inoveth hls tall like a cedar : his sinews are as cubit?. His
bones are like strong pieces of brass—yes, like bans of iron.
He eateth grass like an ox: behold ! he drinketh up a river
and trusteth that he can draw up Jordan in his mouth
Who can open the door of his face? yet thou mist approach
him with a bridle. His teeth are terrible roundabout. I
will not conceal his parts, nor his power, nor him comely pro-
portions,
' N. is gentle, bets kind,
And his tall sticks oat behind.
And I want to mil him tor something I can pay my debts

EPITOME.__OF_NEWS,

BRITISH AND FOREIGN,
The Queen's birthday is to be kept on Saturday, the
`2OCh of May.

Thirteen hundred marine torpedoee are now in course
ot delivery at Woolwich Areensl.

The yield in New Zealand of gold for the year 1870
shows an_increase of 20,000 or OV9r the preceding two years,

•
The Emperor William of Geramny completed his
seveuty•etth year on Wtdoertiay the ..!2utt of Starch.
. _

•
Laid Sunday the Rev. i'harlee Voyaey preached to
a crowded congregation In the ettertan Church, Newcastle-
cu-rPte.

The Emperor Napoleon and the Prince Imperial
gave the London Stereoacopie Company a sitting on satur•
day. Both, It la stated wore looking remal kably well

- - -
her Majesty held a Drawing Room on Tuesday, at
linekingham Pelee. The Prlnueas Louts° cud the Slar,pds
of Lorne were presented to her Al Welty _
- - - - -

Earoll aldeVallt. the huabafal or M George
Sand died at Subside, in the departmeLt <1 the Lot et-
Garonne on the Bth of this month. He wes 76 yean old.
-•- • -

The Registrer-Creneral estimates the population of
South Australia at the end of Ib7o at 151,146, showing au
Increase of nearly 5,000 to the year.

'-
Alias Am §y e gwick made the Princess Louise a
present of a pair of white dove. in a cage decorated with
white satin bridal favours and [lowers.

"It is said that an addition to the family of his
Royal Highness the Prlace of Wales may be expected early
In June."—Court Journal.

Volunteer troops, organized in accordance with the
terms of the law just passed by the National Assembly, are
to he enrolled in the provinces and sent to Versailles.

It has been announced by Mr. Robert Baker, her
Majesty's inspector ot factories, thu Gcod Friday will be
enforced as a holiday this year In all works under the Fa.-
tory Acts.

The Dover Young Men's Christi= Aseociation have
rescinded the vote by which they excluded Punch from their
reading room, bye majority of '2", to

- - -
A League (of Churchmen) le about to be formed,
and the miner a Iligh Church layman) hasoftered the sum of
£lOO as a nucleus, for bringing &built the disestablish.nent
of the English Church.

A Boston young lady keeps in her portmonnaie
pathetic appeal to the light-lingered gentry, In which the
sufferings she would endure if deprived of her money are so
feelingly presented, that the puree has been returned to her
Intact on three 0008Ai01211.

The Birmiughatu corporation, having received an
injunction to refrain from polluting the river Tame, are about
to undertake new sewage works for supplying farmers around
the country, at a cost of £376,00.

The Scotsman states that the ex•Eniperor Napoleon
has been hi personal communication with the managers of
the London newspapers which have always been devoted to
his fortune.

Wilhelm, the•compoaer of the celebrated " Watch
on the Rhine' is lying dangerously ill at Schmalkalden. Last
week he received a stroke of paralysis, and at present Is, if
not in a hopeless, at least in an alarming state.

The Manchester Examiner is informed that a speci-
men of the great ash-coloured " shrike " or " murdering
pie," has Just been shot near Stanchest°r. The bird is rarely
met with in cultivated parts of the country.

At the Liverpool Police-uourt on Tuesday, a mob of
90 inebriates had to answer for their misconduct. One
woman of 33 had been 67 times convicted of drunkenness,
and a girl of 16 was fine d for a seventh offence !

It is reported tbat Sidi Itfokrani, an Arab chieftain
at Constantine, has declared war against France. lie Is re-
ported to bayed ,000 troops, and to be at 25 leagues distance
from Algiers.

A ludicrous but exciting and mock.heroic scene has
occurred in the Superior Court of Quebec. A powerful and
probably effective appeal was made to the Court by the fair
defendant In a divorro suit tainting in the arm, of her
advocate.—[ rills would hardly do in London.]

A Glasgow paper mentions, as a proof of the pops'.
lartty of Mr. Carly.e in that city, that the booksellers have
ordered so large a number of "Samos Rasartus," with which
Messrs. Chapman and Hall's cheap Issue begins, that at
present the publishers can only supply net one.half the
demand.
A telegram from Stockholm announces the serious
illness f the Queen of Sweden Her Majesty ha been
suffering for souse days from a slight affection ,)f the lungs,
which is now attended ny high fever and restlessness. The
King of Sweden's illness has also taken an unfavourable
turn.

The old adage that " a woman cannot keep a
secret" msy as well be set aside as false and libellous.
!loot A young girl of John, :Sew Brunswick, recently
married, leaving the bridegroou in total ignorance of the
fact that she we. worth four millions of dollar, tuber own
right. Young ladle, should always do this.

A man who enlisted for a cavalry regiment turned
out to he under the regulation height. It was proposed to
enrol him in an infantry regiment, but he declined to serve.
For this he was taken before one of the Loudon magistrates,
who, however, discharged him, or the ground that, having
enlisted for the cavalry, he had a right to refuse to join an
infantry regiment.

- -
h appears from a parliamentary return recently
Issued that thirteen general officers and colonels of Ro3al
Artillery have retired on £6OO a year during 1868, 18i9, and
1870. During the same period, two general officers and
colonel, of the Royal 'late Indian) Artillery have retired on
pensions of £450 and £7lO respectively.

Twelve thousand persons engaged in the cotton
trade met at Oldham on Saturday, and passed resolutions in
favour of ceasing work at noon, instead of two o'clock, on
Saturdays, threatening to regard the proposed change as an
accomplished fact, "so far as Oldham and Its neighbourhood
are c.ucerned, by stopping at the time named on the fah
proximo, with or without the consent of employers.

Sir George Jenkimon's return ol the murders com-
mitted In England and Wales in the ten years between 1861
and 16711 has been presented to the House of Commons. There
were 26 In 1861, 28 in 1862,29 In 1863.32 In 1864, 20 in 1065,26
in 1566, 24 In 1867, 21 In 1668, 18 in 1869, 15 in 1870 ; total,
239 Of these murders 44 were committed by women, 400!
wnom were executed, two having committed suicide.

Malta Menlha Kyoden Paden Woon, Secretary of the
Hifi; of Burmsh, with Moung Mhew, of Me MaJest)'s
household, Moung (Jung Thou, of Me gody-guard, and Wow-
Zeray, assistant secretary, accompanied by Captain Sprye,
had the honour of being received on Saturday by the Prime
Minister and Mrs. Gladetoue, at their residence in Carlton-
houswgardens.

Dr. Karl Heinrich Schultz Schultzenetein, of Berlin,
one of the most eminent botanists in Germany, was found dead
In his bed on the morning of the 23rd. lie had been engaged
at his desk until past midnight. The deceased, though In
his seventy-third year, was remarkably active, and was a
lecturer on physiology as well as botany in the University
of Berlin, with which he had been connected !duce 1822.

They have strange chambermaids at Shepherd's
hotel in Cairo (says a lady traveller;. The one who waited
on our room, and attended to all the various duties of the
calling, even to the making of beds, was a Frenchman dressed
as if for a dinner party (white vest and dress coat), and
having the air eta refined and educated gentleman. It was
really embarrassing to accept his services in such a capacity.
Olie of the ladle., on arriving at the hotel, rang for the
chambermaid. Ile very politely replied, in the best English
he could command, " Madame, I am she."

•
A meeting of the Managing Commitcee of the
Captain Relief Fund was held at the Mansion-house, In
London, on Monday; the Lord May-or presiding. A report
was presented, showing the manlier In which It was proposed
to distribute the Fund. The amount required was about
£60,000, and of this nearly £54,000 had been collected. The
report referred to the fact, that the widow of Captain Bur.
goyne had generously declined to receive any grant from
the Committee, thus cotatrinuting in effect about £930.

A good-looking and well-educated gentleman (29),
with capital, wishes to meet with a wife, wassailing means,
and willing to share the management of a first-class hotel.—
Address, In confidence," dtc. —" Gentleman '33 ,with means,
wishes to form the acquaintance of a yoang lady, with a view
to matrimony means no object ; enclose carte, which will
be returned; the strictest confidence will be observed.—
Address," dx.—Advertisements in the Manchester Examiner.
Several curious computations have been made con-
cerning the suns of five milliarc:.s. Our gentleman has dis-
covered that if the amount had to be paid in sous It wJuld
take many thousand years for a single person to count out
the coppers—that, in fact, if Adam had commenced the
operation when at the age of sixty-five, and had lived lute
our time, he would only just have terminated the labour of
handing over the war indemnity to Count Bismarck.

" The Spanish nation is longing for rest, and the
excesses of the Paris populace at this crisis, acting as an ex-
hibition of drunken political lielothm, must have a sobering
effect on the Spaniards, who have too often given the world
the warning spectacle of a similar anarchical Intoxication
France is holding up the ruhror to Spain, and bids her
choose between an Amadeo and an Assi."—Leader in 24e

At the Cheater Amazes on Monday, Mr..) ustice
Mellor referred to the unsatisfactory character of the cider.
der. There were nearly fifty cases—two of murder, six of
rape, and many cases of violence; out of all these cases only
one prisoner could read. Ouch a state of things would soon,
he hoped, cease to exist, by the beneficial operation of the
Education Act. uhurchmen and Dissenters had been afraid
hitherto to educate, for fear the boys would learn the creed
of another sect.

The newest device in the hands of Young England
Is called " lusmarcles whistle." It ii very simple ln Its con.
struotion, but terrible In it. effect. An old tin can, or cup,
la the bash. A hole Is driven through the bottom, a cord
inserted, and fastened by turning a knot on the end. Then
the cord is ruined, and the "infernal machine" is complete.
Hold the can In one hand, and draw the thumb and linger
of the other hand rapidly along the waxed cord. The result
I. the most harsh, hideous, rasping, demoniacal, unearthly
sound that ever grated on human ears.

On Sunday afternoon, a fire broke out on Chiped
burst common, occasioned by the gorse catching fire.
Dense volumes of smoke attracted large Lumbers of
spectators, among whom were the Emperor Napoleon,
the Empress, and the Prince Imperial and Mien-
dants. the Emperor took a lively interest In the
extinction of the fire, and even assisted personally In en-
deavouring to prevent Its spreading After busoing about
an hour the gorse for some space in front of the fire was cut
sway, and through the united efforts of some of the gentle-
men and labourers in the neighbourhood, and the aid of a
fire-engine which came up at the finish, the fire was got
under. A considerable space on the C 312119011 was, however,
burnt.

An Inquest has been held at the Middlesex Hos-
pital on the body of Mr. timalhnan, a member of the Royal
College of Surgeona It appears that deceased, who was
well-known in the prof edition, was discovered dead in his bed
on the morning of the 24th inst. For some time past he had
been in the habit of taking morphia to induce sleep, and on
Thursday evening, In last week, he retired to restratherearlier
than usual. Next morning he was discovered dead in bed.
By the bedside wae a bottle which had contained hydrate of
chloral. it was shown that the deceased eve. In a very dilapi-
dated condition, and could not live any length of time.
The post-mortem examination showed that the internal
organs of deceased were in such a state that he could not
live long, but having taken an overdose of hydrate of chloral
while in a state of great weakness, for the purpose of ob-
taining sleep and relluve pain caused hts death. the Jury
returned a verdict of Death from Natural Cause..

The Judicial Committee of the Privy Council bad
the Brighton ritual case before it again on Saturday. A peti-
tion was presented by the Rev J, Porches, for what was
practically a rehearing of his case, he having been condemned
for certain Ritualistic practices. The Lord Chancellor, three
ex-Lord Chancellors (Westbury, Chelmsford, and Cairn., the
bishop of London, and Sir J. Colville assembled; and •goodly
attendance of clergy formed the audience. The Lord Chan-
cellor was about to state the opinion of their lordship on a
preliminary point, when the Solicitor General pointed out
that the petition was to her Majesty and had not been
referred to the Court. Lord Westbury upon that remarked
that there was nothing to be said except ••Take your petition
back and go jour wsy." This was in substance what was
done, and their lordahips adjourned.
A correspondent of the Pail Mall Gazette states that
Cam, Liddon, preaching on Sunday afternoon at the Chapel
Royal, Whitehall, spoke of the Emperor of Germany as the
hero of successful hrutality."—To this 'Canon [Add. replies
(In the Pall Mall C:azette, correspondent Is
mistaken In saying that ' Canon liddon, preaching yesterday
afternoon at the Chapel Royal, Whitehall, spoke of the
Emperor of Germany as the "hero of succe.sful brutality." '
was discussing the influence of good and bad ' ideals ' upon
national Life. And after stating my belief that the 'ldeal'
which the First Napoleon made popular in France had been
among the greatest of her misfortune., I went on to express
a hope that ' Frederic the Great, perhap. the first of all the
heroes of successful brutality in modern Europe, whose
memory had been for awhile buried at Jena, might not have
risen with the victories of his successor, again to become the
•' Ideal" of the peoples of Northern Germany. What I think
on such a subject doss not matter much to other people;
but as you have Inserted the mistake, I shall trust to your
courtesy to give me an opportunity. sorrecting it —I am
sir, your obedient servant, H. P. Mdom—London, March
27th,"