The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1876-03-04 00:00:00

AMERICAN HUMOUR.

A burglar who was found under a man's bed in
Philadelphia excused himself on the ground that he was look-
ing for his dog.
When a Chicago paper commences an article by
saying, " An idiotic newspaper in this city," dt.c., several other
papers take it up as a personal hit.
A man from Chicago, when asked by a Saratoga
waiter what he would have for breakfast, replled, "Well, /
rather guess I'll just fin') my lip over a chicken.'_ - -

- -
A Missouri jury, in the case of a man found with
ten bullets in his head, decided that "he had been shot or
met with some accident in some manner not just now known."
A man in Weston (Missouri) fired in the dark at a
man who was stealing his corn, and the next day the county
sheriff was around with his arm in a sling.

A young mars advertises for a place as salesman,
and says he has had a good deal of experience, having been
discharged from seven different warehouses within a year.
In Virginia, when a young lady declines an offer
to convey her home, the lover asks permission to sit on a
fence and see her go by.
"Stricken down in the prime of life" is what a
Mississippi paper has to say on tne death of a man of eighty
An American editor, speaking of spiritualism, says,
"We don't believe in any medium except the circulatine
medium,' and that has become so scarce tat our faith In lib;
shaky..." '
. .
"You Meairelaatics, replied a Broad Way clerk
blushingly to a lady who asked for garters. •
Mark Twain, lecturing on the Sandwich Islands,
offered to show how the cannibals eat their food it any lady
would lend him a baby. The lecture was not illustrated.
A Yankee editor cheerfully remarks :—" The frisky
flea, the gramnivorous grasshopper, the musical mosquito,
and the pugnacious fly are leaving for their winter haunt."
"Sad thing to lose your wife," said a friend to • a
TermOnter, who stood at the grave of his spouse.—" Yes,
mostly sad," responded the bereaved man; " but then her
'clothes fit my oldest gal."

- . -
The prudent young man does not now visit female
friends without a witness, and when one of them breathes a
tender question he replies, "No, dearest, it can never be,
but I, will always be a brother to you."
A 'youth, and maiden. of New York played croquet
to *determine whether she should marry' him. He won.
Chicago has a female sexton, and she is charged with
reserving all the best graves for the young men.
It is F atisf actorily demonstrated that every time a
wife scolds her husband she adds allow wrinkle to her face!
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A farmer in Cambria County, Pennsylvania, having
the deed of his farm in his vest-pocket, hung tho garment
on the fence, while at work in his field, and a cow coming.
along, ate part of the vest and the deed. The question in
that vicinity now is :—"ls that cow a freeholder, as the
title of the land was duly vested in her?"
The Sacramento Herald says the Californian pri-
soners who are dropping off one by one "have the pleasing
assurance that every vacancy here below is but another
recruit added to the great army of pioneers above." And
the Bee comments in this way?—" That is very pleasing;
but is our contemporary certain that its last word Is the
right one?"