The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1871-03-25 00:00:00

AMERICAN CUTTINGS.

The two-headed girl are being exhibited in Philadel-
phia They is eighteen years of age and waltzes together
beautifully. She are twin sisters.
Sylvester Smith wae lately wedded to Lydia A.
Smith, by the Rev. 11. A. Smith, at Jacoh Smith's, in Smith.
villa, Smith county, lowa. Twentpnve persons were
present, all Smith but one, and he was a widower who had
xrried a Smith, and mu looking out for another.
They complain in Cincinnatti of the church expenses
at fashionable weddings. The newest and molt beautiful
church in the city makes out its bill thus Item first, the gas
bill ; item second, the miniater, organist, sexton, and usher
fees ; item third, covering carpets ; item fourth, warming
church ; total, 300 dollars.
. .

An Am' erican's notion of his Government is: " If
anybody had met Christopher Columbus In the middle of the
Atlantic, and told him he was In the act of discovering a
country that would ultimately fall Into the hand. of such
an administration as the present, he would have gone back
home and stayed there."

A moonatruok Yankee has expressed his over-
burdened souL the pale uiellow light of the " soft silvery
moon" inspired him with poetic climbers. lie is genius
Hear him . .

AU hall thou glorious moon,
Bright as a new tin pan
Thou fairest, purest, roundest source
Of bread and cheese to man.
Continue thou to roll and shine
Like bands 1 waggon wheels,
For dad and I are going out
To try and catch some eels.
A " personal " in The New York Herald a week ago
stated that If "John Smith, formerly of,l'hiladelphla, would
call at No. —, Blank-street, be will hear of something to Lis
advantage." John called. There was about two hundred
and fifty of him—and he has been calling at the rate of forty-
seven per day ever since the '' personal " appeared.

•- - -
An Ohio paper thus deecribes an effort by one of
Ohio's Legislative orator.:—" Mr. Acker, the eminent horn-
smoggier, thrilled the Monte on Saturday with one of his
mod majestic efforts. A short-horn reporter describes the
scene as indescribable Ladles on the hack seats were obliged
to climb up to the bait of the chairs to escape the torrents
of eloquence and things. Tne speaker was so charged with
the electricity of eloquence that his sharply.pointed spike-
tall goat frequently stood at an angle of sixty degres s, and
trembled like au aspen. The orator most of the time re-
sembled an Irresponsible victim In galvanic elippers. He
reared and plunged and squealed like three hundred pounds
of petticoata on her first pair of skates. '
A SCHOOL BOY COMPOSITION. —Doge sire vary use-
ful things there airs several different sorta of it 'go thaire
I. the Newfound Land Bind Howe and the Pinter which
Is a very soulful dog in catching birds some doge sire very
good for watchdogs while others airs good for oath In but
to Mahout and do nothing sum of them bite those sire the
best watch dogs of all Ow how plesent it would be to be at
home and see Brother and his pet dogs to see them pla and
scip a bout the yarde I am fare from home an cant see
Brother and his pet dogs but of all the dogs the Rat Talreider
Is the best of all a dog bite is very danjerous Porn teatime
have been bit by them It makes sum foalkea sic that has
Lin bit Peen just remember when a dog bit Pap It has been
• bout fore years. ago The end.