The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1878-11-02 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A Troy man has lost a canal boat, and a local
paper suggests that some Syracuse girl took it for a slipper.
Josh Billings reflects that if a man is on his way to
the woods to commit suicide and a bull suddenly gives
ckase, the chances are that he will run for his life.
When an artist climbs over a fence to get a nearer
view of a handsome bull-dog, he must take the chances of
sketching the dog, or the dog's ketching him.

"Lunatic fringe is the name given in New York
to the fashicn of cropping the hair and letting the ends hang
down over the forehead.

A Nebraska paper devoutly "thanks heaven" that
at lesst one paper has been found that has "the honest,
old-fashioned good sense to say angler," instead of "votary
of Terpsichore." It sounds old-fashioned, but—there's
something wrong about it yet, we think.

- Happy couples in some - American towns proclaim
their approaching nupitals thus :—" With the loving consent
of their parents, W. H. and S. T. herewith announce their
betrothal."
At the close of a concert, says a New York paper,
while a young gentleman was struggling with his hat, cane,
overcoat, opera-glass, and his young lady's fan, all of which
be was trying to retain on his lap, a suspicions-looking black
bottle from the overcoat pocket fell on to the floor with a
loud thud. "There," he exclaimed to his companion. "1
shall lose my cough medicine." There was presence of mind
for you!
A Cincinnati journal says in making your choice of
a nice young girl for your wife, proceed prayerfully, quietly,
calmly, and cohsiderately, to find out her faults and foiblts,
likes and dislikes." If he marries the girl beforehand he can
get full information, then it is too late. Let him be contented
that abets a" nice young girl."
The joking at the expense of the large feet of the
women of Kentucky is carried on with a ferocity of draggers.
tion that is astounding. Here is the latest: A young lady
from Truckee, who is visiting in Reno, met with an annoy-
ing accident this morniag. In coming out of a store she
turned to make a laughing remark, and unthinkingly got her
foot sideways in-the doorway, which is only six feet wide.
There it stuck, and not until a crowbar had been vigorously
used was the foot removed.
A New 'York lecturer on chemistry said :—" To
Illustrate how elements, that are perfectly harmless in
themselves, May become destructive by combination, take
the case of a gun and a small boy. What can be more harm-
less than each of these when alone by Itself? or what can b 3
more dangerous in combination? (Great applause.)
A heated lover wrote a letter to his inamorata last
week, beginning "Sweatest." She will be a sister to him
hereafter— othing more.
"THE BUSINESS END OF A MULE."—In San An-
tonio a negrb was found lying dead within six feet of the
business end of a mule. The jury found no difficulty in
uniting cause and effect.
THE GIRL OF THE TIMES.—He didn't pile up the
agony high enough When I give my hand to a wooer, I
want the proposer to call upon the gods to witness his deep
devothm to me. I want him to kneel at my feet, take one of
my panda between both of his, and with a look that would
melt an adamantine rock to pity, to beg use to take corn pas
Edon on his dreadful sufferings; and then I want him to end-
by swearing to blow his brains out on the spot if I did not
compassionate his miseries.