The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1870-06-25 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A new dictionary defines chess as a humane substi-
tute for hard labour.
. .

" Every in in his own angel," is the way the new
dying-machine i 3 announced in Now York.
- -

In New Y, r'. h I deist extravagance is eahl t 3 be
the tetting of Ammonds in the teeth.

A Charle ton paper beads its fashionable intelligence
" Oar Chignon'

Five New York ladies are declared to have sailed
for Paris, by the last steamer, to have thew faces enamelled.
A Yankee nut West Pays, if "time is nnney" he is
willing to exchange a ltttle of his f n. cash.
- -

A gportivo gentleman wants to know when that
Anglo-Maton race," which tine much talked about in to
come off.

A correspondent who has been Phaved "by the
active, tiny, gentle, and soft nand of a woman" says he likes
It—that a woman is natural barber.

An emigrant wagon passing throngh Rochester,
Minnesota, the other tlay, bore the quaint inscription, "Don't
Inquire—North Pole or rout !"
New Harmony, Indiana, claims the champion
coquette of the North-west. She h..ts cancelled eighty-saven
engagements.

„
Mr. Ward Beecher's recipe for making coffee is no
suggestive as it is Beecherish "The best way I know of to
make good coffee is to go to the principal hotels, restaurants,
railroad eating-houses, &c., and ,ogeertain just how they make
coffee; then make it as they don't.”

Daring a dense fog a Mississippi steamer took a
Igniting. A traaeller, anxious to go ahead, came to the.un-
perturbed mansgsr of the wheel and asked why the boat
stopped. ''Too much fog can't Nee the river" "But you
can see stars overhead "Yes," replied the urbane pilot,
' but till the tiller busts we ain't going that way." Tamen-
ger went to bed satisfied.

A Sioux who wishes to compliment the Quakers Nisi
named himself atter William Penn, which he translates Bill
Quill.

The following conundrum waa cooked twenty minutes
to mace it sufficiently hard: What is the difference between
a dulkey and the only empire in South America? The one
brays well ; the other Brazil.

•
An Illinois reporter, in describing a gale of wind,
says : A white dog, while attempting to weather the g‘le,
was caught with his mouth open, and turned completely in-
side out."

A man in New Hampshire has become so used to
matrimory that on the occasion of his marning his fourth
when the minister requested the couple to stand up, he
said—ire usually sat.'

It was said of a very handsome woman whose feet
were immeme :—" She's very pretty, but she upsets. C All-
plettly the ordinary system of measurement by proving that
two feet make a yard."

During the delivery of a lecture by Mite Dr. Mary
Walker in Kal sat, a taw days ago, a precocious South in the
audiet.ce cried out, "Are you the Mary that bud a little
lamb ?" " No," was the ready reply, " but your mother had
• little jackass !"

A New York paper) encolrages the young by the
example of a youth who formerly lived in a hovel, yet,
with only his two hands and a crowbar, enteled a jewellery
store, and now he is living in a large stone residence in Sing
the State prison)."

THE STORY OF A MUFF - Some young ladies and
gentlemen who were takii g advantage of the floe sledging in
the interior of this State not long since, in attending a
tiou, surpri,e, or wedding party, or something of the kind,
were obliged to sit three on a seat. One of the seats contained
two gentlemen and one lady. Tmt gentlemen of course would
not allow the Itily to tl.ke an exposed seat; she therefore
sat in the nrAddle. As the night was extremely cold, gen-
tleman No 1 (rattly passed Inn hand (a remarkably small
hand by the way, into the lady's muff. Al the muff was not
very capacious, the lady quietly removed one of her hands
from the same. In a few moments she felt a movement on
the other side, and found gentleman No. 2 attempting to
pass his Muni into tile muff on the other aide. She torn
quietly withdrew her other hand from the muff, and allowed
him to do no. What took place in the muff afterwards abets
unable to say. But each of the gentlemen privately reported
to a small circle of Mends how warmly the lady had retnrued
the pressure of his hand in the nmff, while the lady as pri-
vately reported to her friends the magnificent sale the had
made of both gentlemen.