The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1862-03-04 00:00:00

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lifaccabe, the mimic, defines rheumatism and goes
thus—To be screwed up in a vice as tight as it can
possibly be screwed: That's rheumatism. Give it one
screw more : That's gout.
• thrifty wife wonders why the men can't manage to
do something useful. Might'ot they as well amuse
themselves in smoking hams as smoking cigars?
QUISTION YOB • 'ABATING 80CIZTY.—Is an icicle,
hanging from a rogf, upside down or right side up?
Why are blacksmiths confirmed sinners? Because
they have hardened vices.
MOBIL SIGNBOARD.—The following was put upon the
door of a house occupied by a father and son—tbe
farmer a blacksmith and barber .—" Barnes and sun
blacksmith and barbers work done hear, honthuing and
shaven sod hare curled bleeding teeth drriwin and other
ferary work, all sorts of spiritus likers akording to the
late commercial treety. Take notice my wife keeps a
Aro& and also leeches reei in and ritin and all the bother
lathed langwedges and has assistants if required to teeth
horritory sowin and llatthewmatiz and other fashanable
divurshuns."

What living creature bu a beard without a chin? An
oyster.
"There's nothing like leather ris an old saying, and
true. It is the sole support of man.
Mice Prim, haring once ungumdedly declared in com-
pany that she always set her face against whiskers, no
sooner became conscious of the awful confession than
she swooned away.
Miss Wyndham, the well-known actress, who, it will
be remenihered, figured so notably some Hate since in
a ease in the Divorce Court, was on Saturday married
at Kensington Church to Captain Henry Raring, son of
Henry Baring, Riq., 11.1°. for Marlborough.
A ninon is Newport possesses an extraordinary
goon, which is now fall grown. It has four legs, four
wings, two tails, and two backbones. Two legs are
used after the manner of VOSS in general, for the pur-
pose of locomotion, but the extra limbs are partially
tucked under the wings, so as to be as little inconvenient
as possible.
We have heard many a little beauty haughtily assert
that " all the world could not bny her," when she knew
in her own heart the day was fast approaching when
she would very willingly allow some one to give her
away.
Pigs, it is mid, when attacked by an enemy, arrange
themselves in • cone-shaped body, presenting the
apex of the cone to the foe The ancient Romans,
in drawing up their armies for battle, adopted this
form.
__ _

" My brudders," said • waggish darkey to a crowd,
" in all affliction, in all oh your troubles, dar is one
place you can always find sympathy." " Whar triter 1"
shouted several of the auditors. "In de dictionary l"
ha replied, rolling his eyes skyward.
A PRACTICAL ANSWII.—In the course of an
examination last week of the children taught in tb•
national schools of one of the out townships in the
borough of Bradford, the inspector put the question,
What kind of town is Bradford r After a short palms,
an intelligent child, whose eyes twinkled the while,
answered, to the no little amusement of the examiner
and those who accompanied him, "Please, sir, it's • very
dirty town." _ _

TM NATIONAL Dial.—Tbe Alowey•lifnrket Review,
after publishing several articles on the National debt,
gives the following table which shows the accumula-
tion during each reign from the commencement. The
long reign of George 111, ought to be for ever
memorable, if only on account of the stupendous addi-
tion which was then made to the National Debt. In
fact, it may almost be said that the debt wu entirely
created daring that reign :
. .

Amount
Years. of debt. Internet
1688—Nationa1 Debt at the Revolution.. £684 213 E119,8/16
Inman during Wm. 111. s reign 18,102,882 1,175,488
1701—Debt it the Am:melon of A one . 12,787,415 1,21.5.1814
lowan during her reign 28,408,2 X 1847,811

171.4—Aresseloa of (loom I. 86,176,460 3,083,135
Increase of priuoiFel and deers's@
of interest during his reign . 16,248,403 .702,401

1727—Aoeoseirin of George IL .. 52,528 828 2400,934
Inereene during UI reign 49,490,095 1,2154141

1700—A040mSon of GOMM nu. 102.014,018 8,876,275
Increase during KW reign 732,888,842 27,778,474

11110—Accession of George IV. 834,900,909 31,336,749
Decreame during bls reign 60,090,983 3,020,813

1830—Aocession of Willient 1V... .. 784,903,99719,325.990
Increase during his reign 2,726,117 1,211,397

1837—doceas1on of Victoria . 787,629.114 19,637,883
Increase of prineipaisod decrease
of iutertst daring 22 years .. 17,519.440 ngiscom

18G—Lest data in Lord Oodorlch's
Bsturn, No. 443 . 1116,078,564 18,204,200