The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-10-25 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

When a Brooklyn boy sees a young lady who has
improved upon nature by the appliances of art, and whose
face is a picture fresh from the hand of the painter, he
nudges his companion and shrewdly exclaims, "Jim, she's
only a chromo.'
"What is editorial courtesy?" asks a Southern
paper. Why, its when a Southern editor is caught stealing
chickens at midnight and his brother-editors kindly allude
to the matter as a "strange freak of a somuumbulist.,.
Josh Billings says, "The mewl is a larger burd than
a vise or turkey. It has two legs to walk with, , and two
more to kick with, and it wears its wing. on the side of its
A minister out in Oconto, Wis., went on a strike a
few Sundays ago. The congregation assembled and waited
anxiously for him. Be didn't put in an appearance. A
messenger arrived, however, with a note from the pastor,
stating that Divine service would he suspended until the
congregation purchased him a suit of clothes so that he
could appear in the pulpit decently clad.
A monster, yellow as orange peel, has spread terror
in Barks county, Pa. It has the shape of a human being,
about four feet high; arms with two fingers on each paw,
formed like the talons of a chicken; feet without toes; eyes
like those of a cat; three crowns on its head, about slit
inches high; body naked and yellow. Its genus is unknown.
—American Exchange. —lt is probably a canard —American
Register.
A rough North Carolinian, going West with his
dozen children and two dozen dogs, went on board a
steamer at a Kentucky landing, and his first question was,
"Row much will you charge, cap'n, to take us to St. Louis?
"Will you go on deck or in the cabin?" queried the cap.
tam. The Carolinian hesitated a moment, and then, with a
sigh over his own self•sacrifice, replied, " Wel, cati'n,
lived in a cabin
.all my life, sad I s'pose the cabin'll be good
enough for me.'
A popular concert singer, advertised to participate
in an entertainment in a 3lissouri village, excused her
absence on the ground of having a cold in the head; the
next day she received the following from an admirer—
" Thiz is gauze graze; melt it and rub it on the brige of
yore noz until kured. I luv you to distraxshun."
An American deeply smitten with a girl was smitten
by her in return when he proposed. The blow and the
scornful refusal awoke ire in place of love. His revenge was
to propose to her mother, who accepted right eft, and now
that girl is under his parental rule. He enforces her atten-
tion to household details in place of gadding about, and he
peremptorily forbade all male visitors the house, saying that
the girl was too young to think of marriage, and that he
would not have her fooled around. He has been married
several months, and yet, contrary to the usages of the
country, he has as yet made no application for a divorce,
and ills believed that he will continue to remain united to
the mother until the girl conies of age and he can no longer
prevent her from getting married. The young woman is
pining away, her spirits are gone, and the monster triumphs
in his hideous scheme of vengeance.