The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1871-04-15 00:00:00

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A dinonwilate widower In Delaware, after much
reflection, evolved the following epitaph for his wife's tcmb-
stone :

" Thou hut gone before me,
To thy lut and long eleep,
Teen cannot.restore thee,

Therefore I weep ."
A young woman in Chicago has invented a new
branch of female usefulnese. ,he advertises that she will
"give lessons in etiquette, and the way of convening with
ladles, to any young gentleman who don not feel at ewe In
the soctety of the opposite sex. 1 ultlon to lovers extra."
She has been quite successful, and make. a speciality of pro-
posals In various forms.
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In Mobile, ANbanus, a man has just married his
seventh wife, a Mexican, having previously been united to
German, French. Engl'sh, Dutch, Irish, and American
women, all of whom died. lie must, Indeed, be coemopoll-
tan Int& matrimonial tastes. We ahould suppose he would
Sod It advantageous to wed at his sort venture a good family
Atlas.

lie. Gallauclet, of New York, is a very popular
preacher. The other day there was a wedding at his
church. Entered an old lady. Polite usher says " Shall I
conduct you to • seat, madam? ' "II you please, sir,"
replied the old lady. The ceremony over, old lady turns to
one of three young ladle. In the pew behind her, and ash.:
"Do you know the bride? " Young lady nye, "I do." old
lady adds : " WW you be kind enough to give her thin?"
handing the beautiful damsel • card, The Inspiriting strains
of the " Midsummer Night's ore= March" are flooding
the church, but the young lady, nevertheless, drop. back
upon her seat, horror-struck to read: "Mn. Evans, nurse,
—, East Stzteenth-street."

TrrE COLONY OF TABNANIA.—The last official
returns (which relate to the year 149.70) report •
population of 101,592 persons, and an area of 16,770,600
acres. Wheat crops oscupied 62 379 ; barley and here,
9,030 acres; oats, P 3,061 acres, and beans and peas,
4,222 acres, showing a large increase as compared with
the previous year in all the varieties f corn
crops enumerated except wheat. Grass for hay seem
pied 34,662 as compared with 33,275 acres ; tobacco,
222 instead of Irk acres, and potatoes exhibited an
increase of more than 1,000 acres, the averag. of bare
fallow exhibiting a slight decrease as compared with
the previous year. During the year under considera-
tion the colony produced 1,004,579 bushels of wheat,
208,479 bushels of barley, 772,765 bushels of oats,
78,894 bushels of peas and beans, and 34,211 tons of
potatoes. There were in the colony 22,583 horses,
95,067 head of cattle, 1,531,1E7 sheep and lambs, and
49,524 pigs.

A RATHER DOUBTFUL STORY.

114 NA; Gao tam the following story, which we may
take the liberty at saying we think le rather apocryphal:-
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Madame P., a grand-daughter of General Gudinot,
remained in a corner of her chateau while the rest of It
was occupied by the Prussians. On their departure the
commandant of the party waited on Madame P. and
thanked her for her hospitality. " Sir," she replied, " you
have nothing to thank me for. As victor you had the
power of entering my house, and you availed yourself
of it." " Madam," said the German, "I had a particu-
lar regard for you, as I am well aware you are the
grand-daughter of General Otudinot.- Madame P.
drew herself up. " Yes, sir, I am. I still keep a letter
written by Germans to my grandfather, in testimony
of his probity, and thanking him for his honour.
able conduct. Ile was at the time Governor
of Berlin. In thoge days conquerors did not carry
off clocks." The Prussian officer bit his lips, frowned,
and retired. A quarter of an hour later he summoned
the mayor of the little hamlet, and ordered him atones
to raise 25,000 f. as ransom for the town. The wretched
village did not possess half the sum demanded, and the
miserable mayor tore oil to tell Madame P. •' Very
well," she remarked, "I will be responsible for the
money. liefer him to ine:r In a short time the corn-
mandant appeared and asked for the money. l'ointing
to a closed isecretafre the Frenchwoman assured him
, that the money was there, and added, " You may take
it. I wish to see you break open my things. 'rake it."
The commandant slunk away. If this story be true,
the Germans have more bashfuiness than they get
credit for.