The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1869-01-16 00:00:00

from his general behaviour one is serflike-I-Y-6-8-a hiii-dowd
S 3 a cad. lam very sorry for "Tom's Father," but I hope
for the credit of poor humanity that he is not warranted in
twitting up his son as a sample of " the piling man of the

-
, •• Toni" is very selfish, indeed, In his pecuniary, domestic
arrangements, but th re I think paterfamilias Is in no slight
degree to blame. All fathers who cannot afford that thud.
sons should squander all their earnings 011 themselves should
come to a distinct understanding with the young man at his
first start hi Ida that he should take a shore alequate to his
means and their requirements lii the household expenses.
Nothing is more pernicious to a youth lii his early career
Vl:in having the command of such means as will lead hint
Lao expensive habits, of which it is not afterwards easy to
C ure himself.

" nn's Father" seems to leave " Tom's" mother to to all
the " grumbling and arguing ; " but she, pour woman—if she
is like nit,. teen mothers in the score—although she may feel
herself slighted by •• tom's" neglect in the matter of those
highly-valued moderately expensive little sottorni rx, hi the
shape of Christmas and birthday gifts is only too willing to
overlook the faults of her boy, and is scarcely the proper
person to form the basis of what ought to be a thoroughly
business understanding. Why don't " Toni's lather "
" grumble and argue" himself ?-1 enclose my card, and am
A lotNG MAN or TIIE Dar.

The letter of "Tom's Father," this morning, gives also the
lecture of too many NO.. My eldest, " Frank," 21, might
hliake hands with "Toni " as his own portrait, with the
exception if any generosity to the " maternal." Frank has
two shters, 17 and i 0 ; hut it Is not the correct thing to
ese,t them and myself to the Botanic or Zoe. That is the
,ov,-rnor's department. As to introducing any male 11-tend—
on mi fellow does that to his sisters or mother—where
girls are, it would lie thought he wanted to get them
married, Si, that, except at a hall, they are unattainable.
We then get the conventional call, or in many cases card,
and see them no noire till the next is given. If they call mi
Frank he sees them alone and so rare is such an event
that my youngest son, a child of seven, came running to
the drawing room one day with the agounding news that
brother Frank had brought a live friend home. Yet he
follows lint the custom or had manners of the day. I can
.mly think with a shudder of what one's grandchildren are
to be when I are what one's sons are.
AN OLD-FASHIONND MOTHER.

I think "Tour's Father" has not so much to complain of
after all for the fault lies—l strongly suspect—more at the
father's than the soil's door. If " Tom's Fattier" had incul-
cated into his BOWS mind when young those principles of
eonitimy and gratitude the absence of which he now laments,
I venture to think " Tom " would in reality have becoine a
respectable member of society and a dutiful sou My "old
man," when I was young,, did this; and though speaking of
myself, I llon't hesitate to say it now bears fruit. I draw a
salary much less than does '• Tom," yet I should scorn to
"shove my I,gs under my governor's mahogany" without
paying for so doing. I also Plllll fly'' toggery ' complete, and
have, besides that, a little sum put by against a " rainy day."
I 1111 IlOt play billiards, rarely "cab it," and very seldom
smoke for my "sweetheart" tells me she considers it a
most disgusting habit.
I really pity •• Tom's" sisters: for if they are looking for the
companionship of young men of their hi...tiler's stamp, they
will Owl they will make niost miserable husbands. lint, sir,
.if tins I feel convinced, that, if the "girls .4 the period"
were to nmee domesticated than they are, we should
trot have lit wait long before we saw a gmid thistly of the "fast
young men of the period" reformed and beeollllllg really and
truly " youig men of the period ; " for I repudiate the sweep-
ing allegations Ilia& by " Tom's Father," alai counsel hint in
future to mourn ill secret tire omission of a duty rather than
blaze abroad the effects of such omission.-1 am, Sir, yours,
the, A YOUNG MAN OF THE PERIOD.

I consider "Tom's bather" has taken a very exceptional
view of the "young men" of the present day. I have no
doubt what he says in reference to his IM,II Non is perfectly
correct, and for whose errors he himself is to blame ; but, at
the same time, that should not be the atandard by which to
judge all young men. Speaking for myself, my h.come is
considerably less than " Tom's ;" yet I can always manage to
keep up a respectable appearance and pay my way. Cer-
tainly, I seldom indulge in sherries or cigars, which I con-
sider needless extravagance. When "Tom's Father" alludes
to "young men " as selfish, in not taking their sisters to
theatres, etc., he should consider. the habits and ideas of

" young women "of the present day. I know many girls
who would "soul," any young fellow unless he was in a
position to carry out their extravagant idea's—which very
few are—and thus it debars young men front the pleasure of
ladylike society, which any sensible fellow wcUill prefer to
music-halls, casinos, etc. ; for the entertainment provided
at such places is Indy in accordance with the snobbish "
ideas of young men such as our friend " Tom " must be—
that tall we are to judge by the remarks of his respected
parent, who, let us hope, will see the error of his ways is,
lowering every young man to the same level as his inesti-
mable " Tom."—l ant, Sir, yours, tte., VAIRPLAY.

Being myself one of the abused "young men of the day,"
under the impression that an 'pen confession is good, I feel
compelled to acknowledge that Tom's Father" has ad-
miniatered a straight blow. lamin a wholesale firm in the
City, and my income amounts to £250 a year, out of which
—I regret to own it—l do not save one shilling; but there
is certainly this to be said, that I have not the pleasure of
putting my legs under the " governor's mahogany," for the
simple reason that the told man won't allow it. Tom's £l5O
is, therefore, equal to my £250 since it coats me over .E. 150
a year for bulging, washing, and boarding. I live in the
suburbs, my omnibus, therefore, costs nie tis. per week ; the
remainder of my £250 is got rid of much after the same man-
ner as Tom's, namely, in choice cigars—average price ad.
a-piece —Bans ins, liquoring friends, and pupping into music
halls and casinos, and occasionally put a stray sov or two
upon a favourite racehorse. Then there are the hosiery,
tailor's, bootniaker's, and other bills demanding payment
every now and then, which ,by the assistance of the governor
have to be met. This is an unvarnished truth of how one
man gels rid of a good income, and thousands of City cltrks
lead &similar life tontine: and the revam why these "young
men of the day" do not get married to " girls of the periml "
is because they think as I do, that it will be only making bad
worse. —I am, Sir, yours regretfully, Atm Titurn.

I certainly cannot agree with "Tom's Father," and fear he
must have taken a somewhat distorted and overdrawn view
of the case. Nevertheless, lam fain to admit that there are
sonic such Individuals as the precocious "Toni " - juvenile
swells, who roam the streets, having no better occupation by
which to kill time, and boys of titled parentage with well.
filled purses, but empty heads. To deny the fact that there
are such young men would be absurd, but to the credit of
young Englishmen he it said that they are eonsiderably in
the minority. "Tom's Father" complains most bitterly of
there 'wing no sweetheart, how-a-days, but I would ask if
that is the fault .4 the y • melt! Is far the greater
number of ease, F say decidedly it is not, but is owing to the
young women--" the girls 4 the period "—whose notions
:old habits erect such a description that semi de anti educated
limn are compelled to keep at a fair distance to avoid ilaVirig
:t mass of sentimental nonsense continually drummed into
their ears. . . . .

111 course, due allowance must be made for the frivolities
,d the weaker sex ; but even the "last ' )oung 1.01 ..annot
but regard as I.H dish the ridiculous and extravagant manner
in which the ladies dress their heads and b. iCS. There is,
beyond a qu,tion of doubt, very great rosin for improvement
in both the young men and maillens of the present day. But
until the Litter alter, or at least modify many of their whims
and fancies, I imagine there will continue to be is laxity in
lovers ; for men prefer associating with individuals of their
own class rather than listen to the small talk of Madame
Kaehel's dolls ; and HI awithstantithg that they consider there
leisure enjoyment in smoking a peaceful pipe at the club or
nmsic-hall, to paying their addresses to women whose
thoughts and views are so diametrically opposite to their own,
contend that " the young man of the present day is not a
sehlsh felbw."—Yours, &a,

I am very glad that " TOM'S Father" has opened the
subject if the " young men of the day," because I am sure
that ventilation will prove that we are not no had an painted,
and that evirn if we were, the remedy lies with papas and
niamanni. Take my case for an instance. I'm not so extra-
vagant as "Tim ' by a long way, aud an. in business in the
'lily ru Dry own aceoinit, and ear ' g xlfie to .E2IFO a year
now, with an increasing business, and should very well like
to have a good wife at home to cheer me on my noel
, hint—
out this is osr gib:Vallee—how many mammas would give me
one id their daughters who was pretty, clever, and domesti-
cated ? Very few indeed. I should he passed by for some
one, never mind how Silitabiii In other ways, who had a
certain income to keep the d ughter in the style to which
she has been accustomed. Let "Trim's Father" awl mother
consult itnki try and let us have the same chances of a good
helpmate as they had, and they will strike at the root of the
evil. Teach their daughters something useful, so that a
manner of man like me can aspire to the luxury of a wife ;
this, although there always will he some like "loin," they
will very soon be very few indeed —lam, Sir, yours, evc.;:..

, .
AIM
I entirely agree with "Tern's Father" that we "young
men " are indifferent to the society of sisters awl "fern de
friends." I must say the girls of the present day are much
too conceited with themselves, they are too tiff-hand, and
their " 'minutiae" are too monstrous in their behavit air. If
a "gentleman" pays any attention to a "girl," the "mamma"
immediately thinks there is a chance to get her daughter off,
and pays hint such devoted " attention " that he directly
"smells a rat," and eventually "slicers off," not caring to be
drawn into a "match." Or if he should take one of his
"female Mends" a quiet walk round the squares, or to see
the shops," the fact of being seen Is immediately construed
Into so ontething serious, and it Is directly retailed front mouth
to mouth that "so and so must be engaged." Now, surely a
young man might be allowed to walk with a girl without
acing " spooney." It is really a serious thing for a limn
of my age—not quite twenty.two—without great means,
to be drawn into an engagement with no immediate
prospect of marriage. I can assure "Tom's Father" that,
when I am In a position to enter comfortably into house-
keeping, I shall at tone look out for somebody's "big ulster"
and settle down, which is my most cherished with. Now,
sir, I will give a brief sketch of myself. I have stated my
age ; no matter my business - -it happens to be a profession.
lam "no fist" at billiards, and do not care to play. I pop
into the theatres at" hall-price" time, either alone or with a
"ilium. ' But I much prefer taking "female friends," and
" doing " properly. I like to see the "latest ballot" at the
music-hells, and I think it quite necessary to do an occasional
"bitter" at .1 oe's or elsewhere. I AM not an inveterate
, amoker, but when I smoke I "do cigars." Cabs Ido not care
for I net a member of a gymnasium, and therefore prefer
walking. lam fond of athletics and manly sport.; but,
above all, I prefer the society of the ladies, either at home,
. at musical, quadrille, or croquet parties, arena promenade.
So that you see, Sir, although no doubt classed under the
! head of "the Young Man of the Day," still I may not be as
selfish as "Tom's lather" would lead the world to under-
am, Sir, AN EDGBASTON YOUNG MAN.