The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1883-03-10 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

Never marry for wealth," says an American
authority on life, &c., "but remember that it is just
as es,sy to love a girl who has a brick house with a
Mansard roof and a silver•plated doorbell as one who
has not anything but an auburn head and an amiable
disposition."
In New York, a short time ago, a Western editor
war met by a friend, who, taking him affectionately
by the hand, exclaimed—" I am delighted to see you;
how long are you going to stay 7" "Why, I think,"
said the editor, I shall stay as long as my money
lasts." "How disappointed I am," said his friend ;
"I hoped you were going to stay a day or two."

_
When an Arizona cowboy goes into a newspaper
office to demand satisfaction the editor always explains
that the assistant who wrote that article "has just
gone out to kill a man, but will be back in a few
minutes." The cowboy never waits.
A little American girl when asked by her mother
about suspicious bites in the sides of a dozen choke
apples answered, "Perhaps, ma, they may have been
frost-bitten, it was so cold last night." The mother
retreated.
An old lady who had purchased a new bonnet re-
ceived it on Saturday. Not long after she was missed,
and her absence was so protracted that the family
became alarmed about her and instituted a search.
After looking the premises all over her daughter found
her in the chamber sitting quietly with the new
bonnet on. The daughter exclaimed: "Why, mother,
what are you doing here? "—"Go along down," the
old lady replied; "I am only getting used to this
thing so that I shall not be thinking about it all the
time in church to-morrow."

A new Hampshire man tied a four-pound stone to
the end of a cow's tail to keep that member quiet while
he milked her. After they got the fragments of teeth
and blood, etc., out of hi 3 mouth and put arnica and a
bandage on his jaw, he stated that he should never
repeat the experiment as the end of the tail naturally
hit as hard a blow as he cared to endure. •

"There goes a nice lady."--"Yes she seems to be
so very modest and quiet."—" She is that; and she's
just the kind I'd-like to have for a wife."—" How's
that ?"—" Why, they say she goes to bed regularly at
nine o'clock every night and sleeps until her husband
gets homa."—" Is it possible I Why, that's remark-
able. She is unlike any other woman I ever knew or
heard of."—" Oh, I don't know—you see she sleeps
before he gets home so she can lecture him the re-
snainder of the night"
4 Boston gentleman who had been at great expense
o adorn his gardon pith statuary, vas much chagrined
recently to hear an old Man froth the couotr7 say to
his wife, as they gazed upon the statues, " ties see
what a waste, Belinda I Here's no less than six
scarecrows in this ten-foot patch, and any one of 'em
would keep the crows from a hve-acre field."

DEATH OF A FAMOUS RAOEHORSE.—A Daily News
telegrantl from yienna sags that the famous racehorse
Kincaem, who wt:,s never beaten in any race, has been
shot with its foal, ha-4% b?pñ taiei il of I.Anders,
It wcfn flftY:four ra s,bt w isaerY witldrawn from
the turf, because it could not carry all the extra
weight put upon it. Ten thousand pounds were
several times offersd for Kincsem, whose merits were
discovered when it was too late to enter it for the
Derby. Kincsem was considered superior to Kisber.