The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1870-04-23 00:00:00

iIOTHER.

The letter of " A Neglected Wife • has awakened a
ve,y sad echo in my ewe heart. 1, too. I,ve my husband
very dearly, and have the bitter sorrow of known g that he
cares nothing for nee. We have inet with • reverse of cir-
cumstances, cud 1 hare dove with the bared necessaries that
he might have at least some of th .0 comforts to wh-eh he
has been accudorned. I keep hie bodts, and I try to be to
him all that a good and loving wife can be, an -I )et he has
not scrupled in ins moments of pension to raise his hand
against me. I, t.. 0, have known what it was for my hies,,and
to pay that attention to others whidi should have been de-
rot"' to his wife. and I have also known the bitter agony of
being toll by my hush tnd that he never loved me, but that
his whole was and in given to thin day to a lady to
whom he was etigsget: years ago. Let it comfort " A Neg-
lected Wife "to know that there are for more miserable
bangs in the word than herarlf.— Yours, &c,
ANOTIIER NEGLECTED WIFE.

Will you permit a few words of advice to "A Neg-
le :ted Wife,' froin a wife of more than thirty ye Ira, and the
mother of worried daughters Do Lot hope for a complete
and constant return of your affection. Horne PI not nearly so
linpurtant to your husband as to yourself. It is wise to
Lee early the certainty that yon must find the greater part
of your own happinem Sry umbel?. If you ha: e chil-
dren they will occupy your affections, perhaps for life. Never
" sit up' for your Mohan I, and never inqu:re where he has
been ; if he tars unasked make no angry remark, hut, if pos.
sible, tell him 3 our occupations In his aosence, as c r Ily and
as rally as you c 01, remembering you are engamil to stand
by his site and not behind him. Many a has hand grows in-
different. because his wife neglects her duty to herself, lest
she should be called selfish. If you have had a good vatuca-
Ii cultivate some spswal part of it tvirch newts tm home
encouragement—history, social And political, drawing and
patting; teach youracif some modern language, singing,
gardening, even In it raw-pots; vatting the skis and poor,
not as a me niter of any church or society, brit for yourself.
Stoke it a may to yourmlf so glee a fixed t me daily to your-
self alone, and you alit find you Sri lually memmeind;ff,resit
I, what will be otherwise a fearful shadow on all your
powers and ftlMre lit awl, ehould lou be happy enough to
recover any part of ,our hitsbano's affection, you will rejoice
In it fully, and value it at its true worth.—Youta, &c., M. 11.

I have often wished you would write a few words
straight at the hearts of hush ends who, either by thought-
lessness, indifference, or neglect, devote many a Miring wife
to a life of unhappiness; hit I dared not write of what
niight s-em to you imly thee floontetited cry of a woman. A
loving wife will e.idure so niu,i in silence. Hard words,
tlmughtless or contemptuous coldness. may, acid do, some-
times make her heart rise in momentary rebellion; but she
will never complain to relatlons—she will to the very last
uphold her husband, sent wish him to stand well in the sight
of all. It is, then, only through a public medium that good
can be done us.

We must honour and obey our husbands—yes. Indeed, that
is a pleaaure to a wife. She a ill think no menu e too great
for his happiness ; she will fling herself wholly and entirely
into the "gulf of his nec.sities," and only &eh for a little
love, a little consideration, in return. Believe me. you can
do much good by a few words for wives who are linked, not
to brutes who would raise their hands against a woman, or
who would act with systernat'e cruelty, but only to men who
forget to be kind—for:et to be courteous—forget to show the
love they feel ptrhaps.—Yours, to., ONLY A WOMAN.

At the time of my marriage I occupied a very humble
nooltion in life; and, although possessing no very great
business qualidcations, I had some small amount of pluck,
aid ,tarted with a determination to push onward, and have
done so with a reasonable share of success, and now occupy,
for a working Mall, a very Taut position, with an income
sutticient to procure all the comrorts that can he wished for.
But, In consequence of my wife's ideas being very far in
advance of my station In life. and, as a result, havii,g become
acquainted with people having double arid treble M, income,
she has become dissatisUed with her home; and, as I cannot
entertain her friendA in a manner suitable to her whhes, the
life she leads me I have not the skill to describe—but it is
something awful to contemplate. Although having hut a
small family, this constant straining to keep op false ap-
pe.y.mog has Arnr,st, beggared me. Although my Income Is
considerably above the lowest amount liable to taxation, I
am positively In a worse position than many lower-Class
workmen.
• •

lam always TlN:Omit with a gloomy countenance and short
snappiah synch. Always tired, and often una ell, there Is
no rest or peace at home. %I v wants are negle ted, sod re.
monatranees timateil with &fling, la the midat of all my
misery, I have never like the husband of your tint unhappy
wire, dmerted my home for private visittrg or puhlic amuse-
merit. I C d.fileutly heli,Vo that more mlaery Is canted by
vain, thoughtless women than by neglectful nueigu,da in the
lower and upper middle claase'. In 1..14 caw s where fami-
lies live above their means, the vanity of the wife is the
cause; and woe 10 the wre:clasd husband who dares remon-
strate ! Yours, dm.,
A BROICKI-SPIltrrED UUSBAND.

--
A great deal Is written and said about "neglected
wine." Have not our dear husbands quite as trincb, or even
more, to complain of than we have? hey take ns as we
are, to work for, and tiny do work hard for our cantor's and
enj .yruents. They are responsible for all our form, debts, if
we have ally; uti.l how many of thtm, alter nicking our
homes pretty and comfortable, as 1... r as Iles In their power,
hereto put up with ill temper. 11l health, bad dinners, weak
tea, and dislike to smoking' Depend the husband. are as
good as the wives—l know mine Is; and whenever we
quarrel it is I who provoke, and my dear husband, has ever
a kind w, rl and a I,,ving smile. We wives will worry about
little things; we wives do not study our husbands enough;
we wives fancy we want more money, more &mug., more
devotion than even the best and most devoted of husbands
can give. Let us alter, ant there will he very few neg-
lected win,., hilt ninny more happy homes and bright
faces.—Your, A- • .
A WIFE WHO SEES THINGS Ili A RIGHT LIGHT.

l'sfy opinion is, as a wife of many years' standing, thyt
If the little comforts of a husband were more studied at
home, he would feel much less Inclined to go elsewhere to
seek them. Of coin,ce there are exceptions, as some men are
morally had hot the generality of them, I feel convinced,
are not no. any more ihso the women. Let a woman only be
as agreeable to her own husband as she is to others, and she
will always find him aDIiOIIII to remake at home, rather
than leave her for others that he does not in reality care
the least shoot. The tint years of a married life are always
the most difficult to get over; but lie blind to some faults,
and let your husband find a cheerful, happy home and a
loving ails, and he will never he wishful to leave it or her.
My maxis, was always that my heishand should find nothing
elsewhere that ha cA odd not have at home, and It succeeded.
—Yours. &C, AN EXPERIENCED WIFE AND MOTHER.

I have read with a feeling of deep inter°, t the various I
letters that have appeared in your oduinnami .`
iic,irbhiesa
iitoiands ,Il,oiNtgl..ted Wives." Al a wife of but tour years'
Standing, niay I be allowed to express a few (minim s on the
subject I cAntiot help thinking that much of the neglect of
which wives complain—anti husbands too—is occasioned by
their lacking appreciation of and sympathy with their hits-
hinds. Many a husbane li. I believe, driven from his home
night after night, not exactly by his wife's unkindnes' s hut
because he feels that his occupatimis and hers have ant bug
iii common that she would not listen whh interest if he
read aloud, nor care for the tuth,f. ere of converse on which
he r wild with pleasure engage. Itsitearl of m 'king hint feel
that his pretence Is a P'y aid cmf.rt to her, at-rich A she
would fain have him rest ludb holy &IA mind alter the fatigue
at toil of the d ;y, she actually by her indifference delves him
oin her, and MI his return greets him with a volley of re-
pro felies I believe this is, ill many mer, the came of
estrangement bete rein husband anti wit-; and lit oily
this, but I have seen loving husbands wounded and degraded
by the wile's treatment of Ms friends. Shoubl he in ex-
pectedly bring in an old com;lanion to dinner or tea, inn-trail
of there being a he-try welcrtne from Ins wife, there in in
her manner a positive want of cutlery and kind-can, even
in the guest's preset; co. And why? Merely because she bas ,
been put a little out of her way. Such things make a husband
lose ail confidence lathe woman he bas so highly hono,red
as to choose her above all others to ;Jac° his home; and how
cut we wonder if, instead of seeking her uunpany, he should
look fored 4ment elsewhere? Ido not wish even to suggest
that the Neglected Wit° is one of these kind of se, men ;
but I believe that most men, unless they are utterly depraved
and hirdened, mny he won ever by I've and sympathy.
Those neglezted wives who have n,ver tiV-I what this