The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1869-01-16 00:00:00

The following letter which appeared in the
7thyrup4 a few days since has naturally evoked
numerous replies, mid as the " fastness " of our young
men is now-a-days increasing, it Inlay Crete a good
purpose to give a few f the many letters which have
resulted from the somewhat terse epistle from "Tuna's
rather ;" and whilst some of the correspondents con.
Miler the sire culpable in not implanting dilferent
ideas in his son's wool, others exculpate theiniielvt, by
eensiiring voting ladies for making themselves on-
approaehalle by their extravagant habits and their
',Lability to disrourse Collision sense
ifoo you not think that the young mat, of the present day is
a very selfish fellow 1 If you don't, I do. You chtfienge me
to the proof You shall have it. 't here's my son tom. Just
turned twenty. Ile is In a commercial house, tool draws
yesOy £l5O. lives at home, has the run of good house, his
own MOIL and two servants to answer his ring. Tom break-
fasts, dines, and sometimes sups at home. Everything is Moue
for him—even to his washing ; and now-a-days, with shirt
collars, cuffs, and white pocket handkerchiefs, to get up
•• nobby," the laundress's 101 l is a considerable item. Id
course, you rationally con...hole that the letura for all this
parental and maternal care is great ? Not 3 la of it; not
one farthing reaches the heals of the house from
Is sore, be provides himself with toAgery "
.elothe- ''tiles"
(hats), and "crabs " hoots); slot 1011011 he does It: I,lli
for himself he thinks he does sell hut Tom surely writ,
presents to his mother :Wit to Isis sisters? Oh, no he is too
"downy " for that. Stop, I err one Christmas lino, he
presented to Ids mother half-a-dozen pocket handkerchiefs
worked by the nuns in sonie unknown nunnery, which he
declared were invaluable 1 think the price was Is. 64 for the
lot ; and his two biggest sisters got each a silver thimble ;
and sometimes Tom's extreme generesity lowlands Min too
launch out a bob " to his younger brother to keep In his
pocket when hens at home from school for the holidays. As
for the LIZ'S a-year, it all corn on I'm, toil I am glad
,of
course to iind that at the close ol the year I am aid called
upon to "shell 'nit"la " liver " for the " snip's' bill. A
dear h limit of mine had a 1411 presented bins at the chose of
IstlS for three " full gn own ' hats his son Jack between
twenty and twenty-our) had " stuck up " In six months.
My wife, observing Lind deploring TOM'S habits, wonders
what he does with his salary—what [Jemmies of nearly £3 a
week. Simple woman ! she forgets the habits oof young men
are not now what they were two-and-twenty years ago,
when she gilded from single blessedness to married happiness
and had tOOO3llllOllOlB housekeeping on the mine yearly sum
her son mow spends squanders is nearer the mark on his
'individual wants Tom must smoke choice cigars ; "
his glass of sherry : have a •• spin" at billiards: lounge at
0101008, aol 110011 illto tllO music-halls to hear the 60 new
song or see the last new ballet. Besides, he must ocea-
ancient .• tho " a cab ; 'buses are very "slow " and a
" bore, and TOLII 03111111 t smoke a " WWI" lot such 0011-
veyance- -a ilallBllm is the I,,rreet thing." Walters, too,
come in for a fair share of Tones spare cash. It 01" nubby "
to ties a " tanner "to the waiter. These are a few of our
Tom's eccentricities. Ills mother gnuubles and argues with
lout he declares that Thu, Dick, and Harry It as he
does. They draw the wilne "acre's'," spend it is themselves,
anti " shove" their legs under their governors' '• male gum), "
—that is, live at the expense of their parents. And yet in
society they are each and all considered highly respectable
piss, i'u.etsnt tin a minute, honest to a fault, in bell
at good time, and always bland and oldigiug. Titus mother
declares that woes she was in her teens--oless her, she was
a llarling then !—young men made friendly calls at her
father's house, spent a feW hours in their society,
took her to a stall at the theatre or for a quiet walk
round the squares, or to see the shops • but now, alas !
how changed are the Toms, and Jacks, and harry,,' 'true,
the girls I have two—sweet seventeen and nineteen' sonic-
times go to a box at the theatre ; but then they are accom-
puned by their father or their mother; true, they walk t"it,
but it is with those of their 0011 see: true, they go to parties,
but it is only to mix with girls and old married people. The
young men are away enjoying themsekves after their own
selfish fashions—they are at their casinos, their music halls,
their loildard tables; Mae. s W here sisters and " female
friends- Mere are 110 sweethearts now'a'days dare not he
1001. TOM, and Dick, and Harry, are chalking the ends of
their cues, and sneking their •• weeds," and doing" their
sherries. whilst the girls, of whose welfare they should
naturally be anxious, are dimmed to the forced security of
the bur walls of home, pining, pouting, fretting, anti
fidgeting, with no other companionship than those of their
own sex, and " What is louttor to butter ?" Need we wonder
then that young women complain, as they do, of the titter
selfishness of the yo. ttttt g man of the day? Need we wonder
that grown-up people arrive at the saute conclusion 1
New, sir, I Disk I have established my ope 'r assertiron
—though a bold sine—that the young man of the present day
is a very selfish fellow. Should he 10 SO? I think not. If
Ito is so inclined, should he be suffered to lapse into selfish-
ness? I think not. I should like to know if the experience
of other parents with growmup sons and daughters tallies
with that of Tom s FATHER.
PS. The words its Inverted commas are my son Tom's—
not mine.

The following ate some of the replies to the above
letter:—
Will you allow me, with reference to the able letter from
" Tom's Father," in your paper of to-day's date, to make
the blushing statement, that the II gentleman ill optestion,
in my opinion, has ho right to claim for his •• pattern child-
the honour m hang a representative of the 6' young 111,1 of
the clay." It appears our old friedl has not been mccessfiil
In Imaging his saga up to be a respectable meniher of society.
I should suggest that if iv out four or five years ago (rl.ni
won fifteen then his father had thought more about the
subject he writes about now I say " writes." not thinks"),
he scull have been spared experiencing what he does expe-
rience, and the pulthe the knowledge of It. As it is,
should sooner advise pour old pa to weep secretly, Ulla opt
to let the world at large know what a disagreeable •' snob "
his Tom has grown up, shortly before the letter alluded to
Closes, we find the remark, "Need we wonder, then, that
young complain, as they do, of the utter selfishness
of the young 111311 of the day ?" Those young women who
complain at. the selfishness of the " young man of the clay"
are worth gut'l as little as 111e1111/1,1,44 the sidle sex
whom the if; but ill spite of all the " ISISII" we
have read Lady about the " girls of the period," and now,
at the opei,iea of the I,:atte against the ''young men of the
day," I can safigy say that the utterly gloomy and exagger-
Mot views only refer ti certain exceptions which we meet
with or 1,, tic cr555 them are thousands of respect file
young fell,,cl wh. work for and look with hope for the
happlutas ot married life ; and. thank l/ml, they will find
What they w.mt, every one of them There is an equal
...her of girls who do not complain shout selfishness
bee11.•ll Oh* are too selosh themselves, who will make the
live. 0,l their busbami, happy ones. Let old pa look °lit that
T 0111.6 two biggest SiSicrs deserve respectable hush:vets,
and his 80115-ill law will Coll vitwe him that he was thoroughly
mistdien in comPering his Tom " the young man .d the
day.--1 am, Sir, youtw, ike,, ANTI-Bosn.

Although the letter from “Tain's Father " in y ne int-
pres,ion it-day contwns much—ti a touch—truth. I ven-
ture t. th nk that when he states that the young man of the
present dm selfishly neglects the society of young ladies, he
is going rther too far. f, a, a clerk with a salary of s:150
per annum. solely &pendent npon my lie ii and hands I,
my living, sh,mbi very much like to see the father—.'
or anybody else's—wln• would let me take his daughter (to
use his own words. '•
i.e a inlet walk roand the squares, or
LA see the shops." No, no the young Imly of the present
day would. on my proposing to tUBa, run upstairs, under
pretence of putting mi her Imunet, and ask her loather ii
hot any expectati. OUR. In short, in et antn:m with nil, in my

,
•en et novel p•.s! i••n, • am almost debarred from any-
.' • t'.l t:". t*
thing like intimacy wit ri ) 0.. rig ladies ~1 birth: and education
on a vir I it!, ray OWII.- 1.111, eir, )tpura, Sc.,

To3l'S FICIF.NIr,

The author of the letter in your impression of yesterday,
signing himself "rent's Father," appears to me as much to
hlasie U. lair" selfish" son. It is a father's duty to corn ect
IC son instead of allowing hint lemon in his careless ex-
travaginacies. If the son aloes not print by the warning, it is
Vie father's duty—if Inc be a father—to resort to other and
more expediint methods. Many sons keep their own
house—as the father little more than silLo per
annum ; why should not this si an di, the same RS his parent
I say it Is the father's faub.—iloping that anther fathers who
do not allow their sons "to 'hove their legs under their
governor's mahogany" will agree with me here, !remain,
sir, yours, &C., CORRECTION.

tar correspondent " loins Vither " has no doubt drawn
a true picture of his own particular subject—he has given you
one type, of perhaps a large class, of the juvenile males if
the Isuisian Pardon me for offering you another,
no less true, thou4h widely different from his. My son Joe
is still what the law is pleased to call an infant, he earns a
salary of only a hundred glli ll eas a yeor ; he insists on pay-
ing his mother for MA board and washing, continually makes
his sisters handsome little presents, intik his own •• tiles, togs,
and crabs," and gives sundry plum-poddings to slivers poor
old nien and women, and ragged little boys and girls, at
Christina,. It is true he 41” es not suck cigars or indulge in
calms, and he prefers the library of the London Institution to
theatres and taverns. 5, I think you will agree with me
that there is a marked difference, boil. niental and moral, as
well as physical, between youthful individuals of the genus
hoino.—li ours, &v., Jog's FATHER.

"Tom's Father" has not only not given information respect-
ing the swamies., selfish, and extravagant fops—which, with
his son, are the exception because, to the intelligent and ob-
servant young men, they are too well known, pitied, and
contemned ; hut I think he has compromised his duty as a
parent by allowing such things as he complains of to exist
openly In his house. Laxity of just iliscipline appears pro-
minent in .• Tom's Father's" complaint. I cannot conceive
It possible that "Tom' would have bees so utterly regardless
of parental rule to presnme and carry out his" downy"
caprices, if, with paternal love and practical admonition, his
follies and undisciplined immdses hail been daily challenged.
The responsinilities of parem s are terribly increased by the
knowledge of the OilliSSiOnd&lld commissions of their clihdren
and nothing can justify the ielingidshing of that kind and
powerinl check ,maile stringer by love which daily practice
and precept untiringly work Follies and vices ioail before
the kind, firm word and look, and though their influence
ma) 130 stronger to children cf tender age, still infants in
Oi " TOM'S " age cannot resist it, neither would they
act at home or alwoad like "the young men of the age."--1
am, yours, &c., E. C.

Having some considerable knowledge of the " young men
of the day," through being a mother of several sons and
acquainted with variotie families consisting of grown-up sons
and daughters, I can c.onlidently affirm that " om's Father"
is perfectly correct in all his statement.. The young men of
the day are selfish to a degree, and not one in a ilozen takes
the slightest pleasure in ally ainneement in which ladies can
participate. As to acting the gallant to their own sisters,
that is a thing that never so much as enters their heads—or,
lilt does, their engagements— witness ones, of course—ale
too numerous anti pressing to allow of their acting upon it.
Thus they ignore the robligatiMlS they are under for the many
sisterly kindness., ay, and even sacrifices, received. What,
then, are girls to do ? Undliers will riot Imre themselves
with sisters' company, or Introduce friends who To rhaps
would. Ladies cannot appear alone, consequently they are
reduced to the little society Colitain.d within the "four walls
of Inane." With regard to marriage, the first and perhaps
only thought on the gentleman's side is concerning the lady's
money matters, her mural worth awl fps,' qualities being of
no consideration in comparison Who, then, pities the Diall
who lhnu,ls that he is less happy in the married state than he
imagined he would la., and that if his wife brought him a
small manse, she can waste awl spend a large one, and make
her husband mist:table )ours, 3,:e ,
A Morn Eit of A FAMILY.

Is " 'tom" to be censured for having £3 a week to spend in
his own pleasures and fineries I Certainly not. Tone's
fattier, in order to teach him the value of money, should say,
" Now, 'Tim, you must {my for what comforts anienoalno-
latheioti poi have ill my house. You must conform to ce-rtain
regulations and pert orni elnties which you may some day
wish to enforce in a house of your own." We educate our
tolls in matters which enable them to earn money, knit we
often forget to teach them how to save or invest a abtilinra.,
Clint I apprehend that train such neglect of parents thiens.intle
at estraviegant spendthrifts perambulate tier streets If
"Tom " and all such had only half their a year to is-
horse ill tiles. toggery, and crabs." they would learn to
ecoliiolllLie their fends : and " tanners" tr• welters, aml thoing
the grand with the smoke and the Ilan. 111 l winolil inner WV),
at increased intervals, as the depth of the 10111 SC Wollid
always, lie their intelligent guide to spending their 1111 l hey. I
know tattier. who receive littarterly payintrita (tom Sollel
t., /Mt-nt ill supporting their lmincs, but really m
invest for them, and so lessen their meal,., of coutractil.t:
extravagant babas Of comae such men an " Timi " came,.
marry with-wit large " icrewt ;" awl as competition lii
eeneeially in ".1,•..1.4" SAM:, WM.,/ ac great aenne
manufactured geanls, ['it'lr chance id obtaining •' hi-any
Screws" are very remote, ,111.1 they are compelhal to settle
down as linchelont, with thanks to their parents for not In-
culcating habits td economy, and tcwhing them when piling
the simple art of saving mt duly. lam, Sir, yours oh tliently,

"Tome Father" has Ireen permitted, hy your kind indul-
gence, to air hia domestic troubles in the column 4,1 your
Inhaler journaL Will you itill.lly grant me a small space to
rally to him ?

'.71'.011" /1.1,11118 to tie a very sad .log. and is doubtless a
Sohirteof flihicil 41111.,yatit eto his initid•US parents To judge
by the expressions in Inverted commas he is rather slangy.
Hie manic hall and casino proclivities denote hint fast, and