The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1869-09-21 00:00:00

tittrature.

THE MATRIMONIAL AGENT.

The one imposition, on a grand wale, which flourishes
in Faris, nnreetroined by the law, is the Matrimonial
Aceorf• this can understand the Immures field it has
,t; cn to it in • country like Fenner, where tnorrives are
for WM* affairs if the purse than of the heart, and
where every female servant, end every shopgirl, even,
sores up ter 'dot' so her only chance of obtaining •
partner for lift-. The most important of theist agencies
heel out their circulars quarterly to all the Aowarnea
d'ofores in Prance; end an °street from one of these
documents, that has accidentally come beneath our
notice, tle-frres to be given fin rbatio,
9 entertain the conviction, monsieur, that in your
neighlforl ood—or at any rote •moog your connections
—you 101 l either know or chasm. to hear of certain
young ladies nun may happen to he placed in the
embarrorieg position of nut being able to contract •
suitoble metriese, either in accordance with their ta"tea
or their just preteseioes. I venture, therefor'', to d'r
my•elf the plower' of forniehing you with an ett,me
of them actual and gloriously disposed parties if whom
I have the honour to be the intermediary.
9. A foreign prince, well known to the bight-et
circles for his irreproachable manners and agreeoblo
pliusiognomy. He ii thirty-four years of age, Awl boa
I.nin eight hundred thousand to • million francs of
int time, with carriages, bargee, fro.
' 2. A magistrate, thirty-fire years of age, and with
on income of a hundred thousand francs.

•--
'3. Several doctors, twenty.fivo to thirty.firo vein
of age, and possessing incomes ranging from twenty to
fifty thousand franca
I. Numerous menhantr, lea., from twenty-five to
forty years of age. with 41,01110 A varying from twitity to
thirty thourand franca.
.irp. Some "renti.ra," from forty to fifty year. of
age, and with from thirty thousand to a hundred
thonsand francs income.' .

This circular, enrions in many reapeeta. has, however,
nothing novel about it. It would boned:emery that one
shinlil never have looked into a French neirspapet to
igiodc the various temptations to which these high
prie.tx of Hymen make • point of incessantly exposing
all who happen to he single.
The iiiitronnnial agent, with whom just now we are
more particularly concemc I. invariably Las on the books
of hio liatablithment all that can be wished for, and
everything, more war, would appear to be of the very
beat. There are blonde, and brunettes, 'bort and tall,
stout and thin ones, of high birth or high connections,
and of both sexes. He has. in feat all colours, ell aiaea
nil shapes. and all qualities. The prier, moreover, is
not absolute ; he will permit us to bargain with him,
although he does not neglect to inform us that hit
extensive connections assure an incontestable sup. riority
to his articles over thove of other establishments. His
clienbile be informs us, comprises the fide of society
only. . _ .

The originator of this singular avocation bas retired
in the fortune and the honours he termed from the
successful pursuit of it. but his successors, uho continue
I, 'preach the scriptural doctrine lot Increase and
multiply, do not appear to have been equally fortunate
In mating their client., for one sees the same advertim•
meat constantly repeated. 'lt is desired to marry a
young lady, possessing thirty thousand franca a year, to
an individual of an honourable profession. Fortune Isis
consideratinn than strictly moral oor.dnet.'
The advertiaement occasionally varies., and one Is
enabled to make • selection from a thousand francs a
year up to two hundred thousand, from aged fifteen to
aced seventy. Addnss. post paid, No.—, Avenue
Mont•igne.
One day, it representative of that common class of
youlig men who exhaust all their patrimony during the
first few years of their liberty, presented himself, over
head and ears in debt, to one of these nistrininnial
agents. having ei.me to extricate himself from his
cliftioultiss liy uniting himself ton pretended dowry of
tbs.., thousiind francs a year. a modest and probable
enough dowry. After a few preliminary explanations,
the agent asked him, sceerdiog to custom, for two
hunili,l francs for espenses, at which the disabused
suitor .hruguod his aboulalera and naively observed
•Is it likely, I ask you, that I should think of tying
myself to a wife if I was in possession of • couple of
hundred francs?'

N, replv Geoid he made to so pertinent an °lnnerva-
tion, and the nanotiation, ma a matter et warm, tell to
the grnund.
_ .

Ric' holier, who have lost everything need a dowry to
refill ti vir time, and • nurse for their rheumaticus.
They notice one morning in the newspsper, between the
• Eau de melisae des Carmen' and ' Miachisee silent:Mu:
o coudre,' an advertisetuent of a lady wishing to marry,
and who is handsome, young. witty. asildasa. and
amiable, and, best of all, who I. ballaateed with thirty
thouiand (moon a year. Address (as usual) No.—,
Avenue Montaigne.
At !cast One individual out of the thousands who read
the advertisement will be certain to think this the v. ry
thing to suit grim, end will make • point of writing to
the address indicated. Two days afterwards an answer
arrives. With a trembling hand he opens the envelope,
lend with palpitating he.rt devours the reply, the
put portlof which, however, will simply be. that 'affairs
of tit. nature cannot be diecusaed freely by 4:erre.
p He is begged, therefore, to favour the agent
with a call at No. —, Avenue llontalsne, and he rhea'
rcceive. further information. In conelusion he is vmture.l
that, having been the first to re-ply to the advertieeurent,
a prelrrenc, will be accorded him.
bureau of the agent at the address indicated
mit to he in • very Anew hou-e, all the window, eif
which look into the atreeits. A footman In beery
e would•be leeidegro,ro into a magnificent
il•ai furnished with exquisite State, and the open
folding-doors of which parmit him to *ere on the right
and -,u ti e le-ft what appear, to he • suite of •olcn.lid
sratinvnts. Everything breathes of love and marriage;
pica of Watteau's Ikle of Cytherea and Veronere's
31 a-nage of tans, with kindred subjects, adorn the
wal!e. The timepiece, is ournioanted by an amatory
• plierd and shepherdess, above whom hover a pair of
hint and casing doves. The candelabra are formed of
t of Hymen, Cupids gambol in the angles of the
crung, and the tabres are covered with books, all
I.- ring of the one eternal subject, from the love of
*oz. la to the loves of plant.. And as If to complete
the picture • o nide of pretty children, • Cupidon and
• Peyche, in knickerbockers and crinoline, me playing
ti.on the hearthnag. _ .

A bell ring; And soon the agent makes his appesranee
with ihnomerable apologies for baying kept Lit visitor
!dealing the numerous affairs be km on Land
a. hi. excwo. At the conelusion of this exordium he
um..s his brows with an embroidered cambric band-
triad. f; then rings the bell and orders • Mode of sonp,
which is served to him in a silver bowl by the servant
to :inswered ti.e door. The agent expresses surprise
at is performing this duty—asks bim when
I'. in-, Jo...ph, and Francois are, to which the
lee ie rrplie., without • momeut's hesitation. that
V,it hint Le. gone to the bank, the locoed about the
box at the opera' and the third upon the btisiaess of
M. lot 'orate, who called yesterday.
How aliould the visitor escape being dazzled by such
appeszatioes—for they are appearanem only'
the ..ne Uottnan he has been being Pierre, Joseph
From; tie, ani himself, who, is feet, dues everything.
The foregoiag is the prologue; now COMMODOOS the
Con' 4iy.
The agent: lioo.ieur, will you kindly explain the
object ot your visit I'
"I hue Galled upon, the visitor produrs the letter he has
rteeivfil, aud the Mille time bands the agent Lu, CMS',

Ss, ing
*1 ha.l the honour as you will remember. of writing
in you on the subject of the advertisement an the
"Figaro' of Weduesday Last. When can Ibe presented
to the lady ?'
Excuse me, but you proceed a little too fast ;
allow me, first of all, to ask pia a few question& HA,.
)ou any professions r
• No.

' -Any f orlon. ?'
' Nothing to speak of: but I have good expectationa.'
• I•n.pb I How about your antecedents?
' You are at liberty to make any inquiry you think
requisite.'
And to the conversation proceeds, kept up by the
agent solely with the object of measuring the precise
degree of intelligence which bit visiter—soun to be bill
victim - imamate., and to satisfy binned what precau-
tions it is neeemary sliAld be taken no that he may note
he too much comprosaieed, in the event eg• nub. quent
explosion. Suddenly he rims end produces a book of
photographs ; refers to the Index, and opens the volume
at a particular page, where hu pointe out the portrait
of • handsome young lady, whore attraction+ he highly
ettols. His visitor Gannet resist admitting these rub-
girt to to be merited.
A moment of silence now rime+, during which the
pair eye each other. The convers•tiou is resumed by
the agent, who says, with an air of perfect frankness—
' There is no need to go beating about the bush; let
or come at 0••• to tbe point. In the creel of scary-
thing being astlidactorily arranged, any terms will be
Sr, per met, upon the dowry,'
' That is fair enough.'
' Payable, mind, when you receive it.'
'1 am perfectly agreeable.'
And in truth it would be the height of Ill.breeding to
ref ice to pay inch • slender COMlDienioll, asked so Dour.
touristy by a man who procures you a fortune, of which
you mend no ;neatly in need, and, at he assures you, a
charming bride, who, though not an object of equal
seem-ity, is still a treasure in heirelf. The affair is,
therefore, nettled; but before proceeding further, the
agent regilllit4 to be iusured again•t liii elpensee for in-
quiries, u'essolles, wider*, Sc,, which seems reasonable
enough. The eis vary according an the suitor is
more or less credulous and the +lowly largo or ssu'll• In.
the premise instance, the agent &eke three bunts-ea
francs. ' For another couple of hundred, he odd°,
• you may beeotne • subscriber to my establishment for
an entire yew, which will give you the run Of it, Sall
confer on you the right rd being presented to all the
eligible Ladies I have on my books—and I have them
mounting up to sixty thousand franca—within that
period, lentil you seemed in ranting yourself.'
The gull in the pre-cot in•tsnce, brine s• mercenary
as he is simple, pays the five hundred femme, and
receivee in exelienge for his money a ineruteandum,
upon
stamped paper, setting forth the conditious of the
migagement, and for reeler.. ring which he is charged
another ten franca. Our would-he lientilict now awaits
with juvenile ardent the moment when the brat inter-
view it to take place.
lii a day or two be receives a letter from the agent,
making on appointment to present him, at No. —,
A venue Hunthigne. It is needles to say that be
Otero-, himmlf with scrupulous care, bestows the eittire
'Horning, in fact, upon his toilet, and calls to ntind
all
It. 140111 graceful compliments that be has beard ad-
d...root to iontheon the stage. HI. part duly rehaareed,
I. hastens to the appointment before the prescribed
toe, and it ushered into the drawing-room.
lb airent Li awaiting him, and giros him a few hints
rrepectieg the young latly's tact..; she is musical, of
evovo• as getwoologigt, and manages • throe-wheel
y•l''riee-le very gracefully, he is told. This will guide
him in his selection of subjects for oonveriation.
The lady soon after arrives, escorted by her aunt, and
I. Nun I to emitter all the ezpoetettons rathal by her
pirtratt she glances modestly at her expected lord sod
meter, displays • pair of pretty feet i eeping
beneath
luettish petticoat a* ohs gathers her robe a queue
a
so- unt bei while meting hone% converges charmingly
way, ',nee, and intlerd is altogether
Ischiatioe. Pre aunt, too, Now a very Dim sort of •
P. rime, aid not too strict &chaperone. In due coUtel,
Its bAcirVUsW to an aid, anal the laalls Form

out.'

to take their dermrturs • when the duce proposes to the
agent to escort them, but finds himself restrained—it
vroald be indeliaits at this early period of their as-
qstaintanoe, he is told.
TMs however, is not the true remota : the fact is, the
ladies do not leave the house, and it is important the
dupe should not know this. Niece and aunt are hired
at so much • day, are clothed and boarded into the
bargain. nay hove every description of toilette ne-
cessary to their transformation provided for them, end
are cf fair or dark complexions, and quiet or coquettish
in their attire, according to the tastes of different @lir nts
—the aunt, it sh ould be mentioned, has • suppositions
'dot' of her own, sufflciintiv large to tempt the cupidity
of the unwary. This facility of being one individual
to-day and snot her to-morrow is not without its advan-
tages, is ease the dupe should lodge any complaint ;
for he would fail to describe the women socurstely, cud
the authorities, would feel themselves embarrassed at
thP outset.

Every time that mime and aunt are about to be pre-
sented to a client, the footman sets the door-bell ring.
ing with a bros rn; whereupon the agent announces to
his visitor that they have arrived. After the first in-
terview, be insinuates, mildly, that it would &deem°
the negotiation if they were asked to accept of • break.
fast, 'as at table one speaks more freely, especially
after • glass of champagne;' and volunteers to use his
powera of persuasioo to induce them to aceept the in-
vitation. •If it ran be managed,' he adds, 'you can
then very well offer to escort them home.' The agent
gives the dupe to understand that the breakfast must
take place at No. --, Avenue Montaigne, and proposes
to provide it for four people for sixty fr•nes: 'which is
dirt cheap,' he observes ; 'but ash. has the wine or his
cellar he does not drive bargains with friends.'
At breakfast the table is covered with solid cold
dishes, in the English fashion—a large joint of roast
beef, a ham, and a otberb turkey. The ladies partake
of the horsofiesseres only and the aide dishes, rind firmly
refuse when either • slice of beef or turkey is offered
them. It is the same with the 'sweets,' simply because
the principal dishes have, like themselves. to be served
up 'gain to other subsiribers to the Matrimonial Agency
, in the Avenue Montaigne.
linter one pretext or &pother, they manage to leave
the table before the conclusion of the repeat. One of
them find, herself indisposed, or the mutt has an ap-
pointment with the family notary, or, as • last resource,
the agent desires a few minutes' important conversation
with the dupe, who at any rate does not se* them home.
After their pretended den/mums, the agent, while as-
suring him that everything is progressing most favour-
ably, delicately insinuates that before proorreding further
It in absolutely requisite to send to his native plow
to obtain prceise Information not only respecting
himself Lot his family and connections. The guardians
of the young lady insist on this course being Oaken. An
early day is appointed to arrange the preliminaries, and
on going to the agent's, the dupe finds the lady and her
aunt there—by the merest chance. In their presence
• clerk is summoned and the necessary indications
drawn up is riling.

The cl;ilisexpene.seeand time, together twenty francs
a day, for say a week, as two days will be eonsumed in
travelling. with eighty francs for railway sod diligence
fate, will have in be paid. lb. client hesitates at this
•new drain upon him, whervupon the anal, in the most
natural manner in the world, volunteers to bear hall
the expenses, and, to set the dupe an example, pro.
duces her purse an elegant knitted bead one, and
hands the agent her share. With the view of paying
court the dupe &du ires the purse; is informed—am I
Indeed besurinised—that it WWI made by the niece, and
the acceptance of it is forma upon him by the aunt.
wbo win listen tons refusal. As iron must be bsateh
while it is hnt, the clerk Is to start once, and the client
pays his hundred and ten franca.
A. the w,rk devoted to the inquiry is drawing to its
close, the dune loook, in at the agrncy to hear it there
is soy nes,. Tie ladies aro not there on this occasion,
but the agent is. and he takes care to 'mind him of
tbo purse, and the necessity of making • suitable
eeknowledgment. which, under present circumstances.
the mote handsome it is the more, be explains to the
dupe, it will he to his advantage, for the elm*, be takes
ears to inform hint, will in ell likelib cod succeed to
her sent's fortune. With the view of not bring thought
mean, the dupe resents the lady with a diamond ring
worth two hundred and fifty trams, the stone of which
remounted as pin for the agent, will PUY° to duals
future dupes.
. . . . . .

Clonally by the time the weok has elapsed the clerk
in reported to have fallen ill in the country ; has met
with a sunstroke, or been put between wet sheeto,
acoording to the 'town of the year. His illness lasts
four day., for which another eighty lianas have to be
prod, as it will look exoredingly mean to ask the aunt to
boar her share of tha trill,. The lure's pursv-strinp
are, Own fore, again unloosened, though ell this time
the clerk has not only been perfectly well, but has
newer even qraittod Patio.
At length the cleat grows impatient, and speaks out:
whereupon the cont unmet' an sir of profound
sadness, and announces to him, with marked motion,
that he has had a narrow escape: that his, the agent's,
vigilance and foresight have saved him from a
great noiolortnne, for he has disooverepl that the paternal
parent of the young lady, respecting whom there had
always been • mystery, had been guillotined for murder.
Her own poputation, too, is whispered against, that her
pretended fortune is equallT doubtful. The dupe, sur-
prised and horrified at this revelation, though regret-
ting the money be has paid, cannot het congratulate
louparli that this is no more, and feels grateful at hi.
escape. Ile was paid altogether about • thousand
francs. The gains lo played out no far as he is con-
cerned, but he only retires to make way for some one
else equally merceuery and equally foolish. London
Socitly.