The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-07-24 00:00:00

ESSENCE OF "PUNCH."

LES " ROGUES " DE L'ANGLETERRE.—Our Red-Tapists.
A SUPERFICIAL PHILOSOPHER.—EIectro-Plato.
ONE WHO ALWAYS SPEARS COLLECTEDLY.--A Tax-
gatherer.
SHOE BRIGADE BOY (to Old Gent, irascible from gout,
which has settled in his feet). "Now, sir ! did you want
your shoes blacked ? "
NOTICE OF MOTION.—Lord John Russell. To move an
humble address to Her Majesty, stating that the House of
Commons is half inclined for a vigorous prosecution of the war.
MIND YOUR LETTERS.—In the Panopticon there is written
up, over several apiaries, " Never kill a Bee." A facetious
Country Cousin says, since the advice is intended for Cockneys,
it would be much better to tell them " Never Murder a H."

- ...
THE GREATEST CITIZEN OF THE WORLD.—The most per-
fect, most universal cosmopolitan, must have been Old Fuller,
for go where you will, you will meet with Fuller's Earth on
almost every Soil.
THE NEWSPAPER BLlGHT.—Already the blight is telling
upon the trees and suckers of knowledge—the Cheap News-
papers. At the time of our going to press, the Farthing
Manchester Rocket had been quenched in a gutter, and the
Halfpenny Leeds Volcano had ceased even to smoke. The
Billericay Butterfly was very feeble on the wing, and the
Penny Guinea Pig, or Warrington Whole Hog at its last
squeak.
SENTIMENTS FOR THE BOUDOIR.—FairIy cutting off the
wings of the butterfly—such is the attempt to define love.
Love is the only tyrant whose laws are obeyed without mur-
muring. The woman who succeeds in making a fop love her,
prevents that fop, to an equal extent, from loving himself; the
preference is not a very flattering one. Love is about the only
passion that has the power of making a man change his cha-
racter or his dress. She is the most beautiful whom we love
the most ; and the woman we love the most is frequently the
one to whom we talk of it the least. The melancholy of a
disappointed lover is like the dead light that burns over a tomb.
Love is fed upon the lightest pastry—Friendship upon solid
beef. To give to those who want est un plaisir—to give to
those we love est un bonheur !
REMARKABLE BANNING OPERA-TIONS.—It is said that
Her Majesty's Theatre is about to be opened as a West-End
Branch of the Bank of England. This, indeed, would be an
illustration of the meeting of extremes ; for what can be more
opposite than a ruined theatre, and the wealthiest banking
establishment in Europe ? The locality is undoubtedly one
from which notes of the highest value have been issued, but it
will be a somewhat novel experiment to send forth Bank of
England notes from a spot where those of Grisi and other
celebrities have acquired their currency. If business is to
commence immediately, the Bank-parlour will have to be made
up of a set-scene, and the directors will possibly have to meet
in the " sacred grove " of the Druids ; while the issue depart-
ment may be carried on through the openings in the " cut-
wood "of the Sonnambula. We hope, for the sake of the once
_spirited proprietor, that the rumour we have mentioned is
founded in truth, for he could not get rid of all his old scores
more successfully than by converting his theatre into a branch
of the Bank of England.