The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1862-04-22 00:00:00

LITERARY EXTRACTS.

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THE PROSPERITY or Fooes.—" In your presence and
out of it," continue I Mr Clare, " I have always main-
tained that the one important phenomenon presented
by modern society is—the enormous prosperity of fools.
Show me an individual Fool, and I will show you an
aggregate Society which gives that highly-favoured per-
sonage nine chances out of ten—and grudges the tenth
to the wisest man in existence. Look were you will in
every high place there sits an Ass, settled beyond the
reach of all the great intellects in this world to pull him
down. Over our whole social system complacent Imbe-
cility rules supreine—snuff., out the searching light of In-
telligence with total impunity—and hoots, owl-like, in
answer to every form of i•roteste See how well we all
do in the dark ! One of these days the audacious
assertion will be emetically contradicted, ard the whole
rotten system of modern society will come down with a
crash." " God forbid !" cried Mr Vanstone, looking
about him as if the crash was coming already. "With
a crash !" repeated Mr Clare, " There is my theory, in
a few words. Now for the remarkable application of
it. . . . My rich cousin is a booby who thrives on
landed property; he lias done something for another
booby who thrives on polities, • who knows • third
booby who tin ives on commerce, wino can do something
for a fourth booby, thriving at present on nothing,
whose name is Frank. So the mill goes. So the cream
of all human rewards is sipped in endless succession by
Fools. I shall pack Frank off to-morrow. In course of
time he'll come back again on our hands like a bad
chilling; more chances will fall in his way as a
necessary consequence of hie meritorious imbecility.
Years will go on—l may not live to see it, no more may
you—it doesn't matter ; Frank's future is equally
certain either way—put him into the army, the church,
politics, what you please, and let him drift; he'll end
in being a general, se.bishop, or a minister of state, by
dint of the great inothrn qualification of doing
nothing whatever to deserve his place." With this
summary of his son's worldly prospects Mr. Clare teased
the letter contemetuonsly across the table, and poured
himself out another cup of tea.—Wilkie Collins's "No
Name," in Dickens's AU the Year Round.
Hi KREPS A CARRIAGE.—There is nothing like
carriage. The more ponderoua and easily-looking it is
the better. The more grotesque the coat of arms
peintel on the panels the inset likely it in to excite
respect. The head of a beautiful child would attract
no notice; the face of a demon, on the contrery, " fierce
as ten furies, and terrible as hell," would be looked
upon with reverence. There is nothing, however, in
general, which is better for securing respect than the
head of a boar, a badger, a unicorn, a pinther, or a
lion. A lion with a ',air of wings, and represented as
flying through the heavens, would, I venture to say,
pave the way for an introduction and cordial recep-
tion in the most aristocratic circles—Vanity Church.
THE QUEEN OF THE GISPIES.—We had the gratifi-
cation of meeting with Esther Blyth, the Queen of
the %ides, and being "presented" without ceremony
by a friend. Esther I. began her reign some six months
ago ; and, as all the Borderers know, it has been any-
thing but a reign of peace. When her majesty's
royal father, El ivid 11., died, her royal brother declined
the throne, which she at once clahned. The late
King, however, was desirous that the Princess Helen
should, after his death, be proclaimed Queen in the event
of his son's refusal to reign, and although Helen was a
younger sister a number of the tribe were anxious to carry
out the King's wish; but Esther hal also her
loyal subjects, who fearlessly proclaimed and
at last triumphantly crowned her, and the day
of her ceronation will long be remembered
by the people in the district of Yetholin. Blood ran 80
high on both sides that at one time Qeeen Esther had
to leave the royal palace for personal safety, and the
palace had to be barricaded. The sisters had one per-
sonal encounter, in which, we are told, the Prineeas
Helen "got herael' weel licket." At Faalen-even, a day
on which gymnastics are held, and a foot-boll played in
the village, a final struggle was expected to be made for
the cross n, and even the aidof Queen Victoria's subjects
was solicited for that day by both parties. Queen
Esther did the genteel, and called personally on inost of
the farmers in the district for their " best wishes" in
her cause; and she succeeded so well in this way (for
she is a respectable, well doing woman), and gained so
many from the opposite camp by her good sense and
liberality, that the leaders of the Princess Helen's army
gave up their cause as hopeleas.—Once a Week.