The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1865-08-29 00:00:00

Cortropontence.
A LAST WORD AbOttT TEtE RAVALENTA
131dTANNICA:

To the Editor&

---Irrown says the British Constitution is naturally
so strong and so enduring that it explains why it
has so long resisted all the quacks and leeches
that prey thereon. However, as it grows in age
and strength, it required, more care and nutriment.
The Bernlento Brstannica, with its ball hot, will
certainly diffuse life and health throughout the
whole body, For the present, the Middle and
lower Otis ate Father uticared for or unattended,
and it is a great pity in this enlightened age.
Well, that reminds me of my own pudding:
its ingredients are very good, to be sure; but,
without the cloth to keep them togetner, it
would come to a wasteful meas. Thus, without
the ball hot, the representative pudding ends in
a confused waste of resources and means, instead
of being a support for all.
Brown took me the other day to the Anglo-
French Exibition. There we saw and heard that
classical workman Coningsby, who, some months
Aga, declared through the FOAM that the Working
Illafteti did not dare for ant itfaini. But peopli,
whispered around t 111—" That fellow ain't no
workman at all. He ain't a Coningsbuy but a
Cunning sell; for, if learned, be must kuow
better; and if a fool, he is the tool of the artful
dodgers of the Times."

We also met there an intelligent foreigner who
could talk English pretty well. He called
himself a Republican as many exiles do, and
spoke with admiration of our beautiful and well-
balanced rule of three, with its checks and counter-
weights like a well-regulated (flea-work. liroirn
looked at me, and 'll thought directly of the
checks and weights that still press down the
majority of our people, with a balance in favour
of the minority. Then Brown asked Lira from
where he took his information about England.
He answered, of course, from English newspapers
and reviews. Now, it is but too true that the
British Press has generally been in the habit of
overpraising our free institutions, free elections,
and free meetings (even the Daily Telegraph
since it has grown Such is the way we do
stir foreigners Who take for gospel Whatever is
printed in England. They dislike their rule of
one, and naturally think our rule of three must
be better. Poor foreigners! more to be pitied
than blamed in all their changes and vagaries ;
for we are to them a treacherous light, a Jack-o'-
Lantern, a Will-o'-the-Wisp, do. Then our new
friend asked us if all our elaases were represented?
We ansWered the ifpfter and a portion of the
middle clainea Were. He Was quite stunned, and
said—" How can a penny represent a shilling?
But," he added, "at least you have the ballot,
which is as good as millions of electors !" We
replied we had not, like the fat dog who asked
about his freedom of action. Thereupon the
intelligent foreigner was "flummoxed," and ex-
claimed—" Oh! I see; you cannot rote as you
please; your majority must be bought and sold;
your election is an auction." We could not con-
tradict him. But the intelligent foreigner was
quite flabbergasted when we told him our sailors
and soldiers were still flogged, and our schoolboy!
and apprentices were often dined. hereupon he
shrugged his shoulders—he swore by the Styx,
the Egyptian Cat, and other unchristian deities,
twisting and twirling his own stick as if in
retaliation be was lik mad, —when he came
to himself again. "But, at all events," says he,
"you have a free press ?" So we have, rejoined
we; but it has not been able yet to break the
cat and the cane, nor the clutches of the Income-
tax. In fact, a free press is of little sae without
a free election—vie., the ballot.
At last, he added - " Have yoii not, alter all,
tile right of meeting in any numbers and of
petitioning ?" Indeed we have, but we are like
a flock of unrepresented sheep, meeting and
asking not to be fleeced any more, or made mut-
ton of! Talking of sheep I am reminded of a
new fable.

" Once upon a tithe, the sheep, *Athens, and
rams, with the steers, oxen, and bulls wanting
to limit the power of a lion (king of beasts), who
used to eat them piecemeal (that is, 1 suppose, a
piece at a meal), and being told that the wolves
enjoyed free institutions, resolved to introcitice
the latter. But, alas 1 they found themselves
eontinually fleeced and preyed upon by a large
pack of wolves whom they dared not resist; for
those wolves were of noble origin; their ances-
tress having been the wet nurse of two great
plunderers—Romulus and Remus !"
. . .

But, to return to our cat, and come to the
scratch again. Brown says England treats her
defenders with a claw, and leaves the mark of
Cain not only on their brow, but Aliso on the
backs of her boys and apprentices. She is still
the land of promise, for she is that of Canaaa
she is almoSt te land of milk and honey, for
she is that of chalk and sugar. Only the ballot
clan scrateh out such claws out of the British
Constitution. Let us agitate then to prevent
wheals, vouls, boils, and mortification!
May Brown tickle John Bull out of his drowsi-
ness and infatuation! My husband makes me
I ibollytiolcle with his politics—yet, at the end of the
day, he molhirsasosnd mys--.." Let us rest and be
thankful 'that we are not worse to-clay. To-
morro* the gOod times will be Coming. Mdmmott
and gammon shall be curtailed and the cat
abolished. We don't want scarrifying, cutting,
or blood-letting, but simply a little purging.
The little ball hot will cure all! Good morrow,
Tom! Good night, Molly. !"
MARY BROWN.