The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-05-17 00:00:00

Utisallan eo us ilitiligentt.

HOME, FOREIGN, AND COLONIAL.

THE CONSERVATIVE CO-OPERATIVE .TORE.—Mr.
Bull: "Your prices are too high, and with all your
mixture you rarely have anything I want. I have
serious thoughts of going back to the old Liberal
shop."—Pun-
JAVA VOLCANOES.—The latest accounts from Singa-
pore state that the volcanoes in both the eastern and
the western districts of Java were in full activity. A
broad river of fiery lava was flowing from the crater
of Smeru down to the southern coast, illuminating all
the neighbourhood at night with its ruddy light. The
Gedeh mountain was ejecting an enormous amount
of cinders, which were completely covering all the
surrounding district,

PLEASANT AND COOL.--Dear Punch,—l am BO
astonished to hear my visitors—comparatively few,
strange to say, for, the time of year—abuse the
weather! For my part, I copsider it particularly
seasonable. I have been here in this den longer than
I can rememb3r, and never felt so comfortable, except
occasionally at a rare Christmas like the last, which
doe-n't yet seem over. The bracing temperature
make me feel quite in the latituiie of that region
whence I derive my familiar title of the Polar Bear.
( Thalassarctos maritimus. )—The Zoo, May 8, 1869.
Punch.
EQUATORIAL GAME.—Herr Karl Bock, who, at the
request of the late Marquis of Tweeddale, has spent
eight months in exploring the highlands of Sumatra,
has returned to Padang with a rich collection of
natural history specimens. Among other living
animals he has secured a specimen of the capricornis
StaaaVrensis, which is peculiar to the island. It is a
species of mountain antelope, rarely met with, and
only among the most remote and almost inaccessible
peaks. Herr Bock was travelling in Lapland in the
autumn of 1877, under the 71st parallel of north lati-
tude. The autumn of 1878 was spent by him under
the Ent parallel of south latitude,
THE OTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT Fr,—Pater-
familias (loq.). —We've been passing through a period
of depression. Bread has been cheap ; coals compara-
tively cheap; most necessaries of life, except meat,
and even most, luxuries, cheap. In the meanwhile
we've passed through a period of depression. Now,
they say, there seems to be a turn of the tide, business
reviving, and some dans of a beginning of better
times. Urn! I suppose that will mean a plaguy rise
in the price of everything I—Punc4.
A SIAMESE EMBASSY. —The lovernor of the Straits
Settlements was some time ago sent on special
mission to the King of Siam to present His A9at
egY.
with the insignia of the Order of St. Michael George. The King has been CO deeply
to send a
moved aln
by this
act of courtesy that he has determined.
special emba-sy to England to bear to .
Queen the insignia of the highest Siam
IleeroMrdaeire.styTthhies
e_Triesystad iii_stainohgaukisahread.
memembahsesrysti f t othceor
se iisatmoefsteh rneoeboi thy
vangse, Pra Naleara,Phet4 and..t."llraundAnviereTtoeyhwi%iviel
attinthit br' riliquiro'is —Ai
r .
get out on their jotinfel" e'strlY in AP

A SAD CASE.—TotAI Abstainer. Oh, Shuffles
Shuffles! Intoxicated again! Do you know the
place where drunkards go to? Shuffles. Coursh Ido
plas'h where they—(hic)—cansh get mosh
for their monish—(hic).—Judy.
THE LONDON ENGINEERS' STRIICE.—ReIief pay was
given on Saturday to about 420 society men and 61.0 of
their children, and to 310 non-society engineers and
370 of their children—in all to 730 men and
980 children, which shows a diminution On the
strike-roll as compared with the previous week of
over 50 men and 90 children. This is accounted for
by the fact that each week a number of men on strike
obtain employment in shops where the old rate of
wages is paid. The money expended for the week in
strike pay amounted to a little over £550, which brings
the cost of the strike to the men up to the present to a
sum exceeding £lO,OOO. Monday (12th) commenced the
fourteenth week of the strike.
SUNDAY 01"ENING AND DRIINKENNESS.—Under the
above heading, The Times publishes the following
letter :

-
Slr,—As I see it stated that there has been an increase of
drunkenness in Birmingham lately, notwithstanding the
opening there of the town museums and libraries on Sunday
afternoons, I beg to say that the exact contrary is he truth,
as the official returns for 1878 show a decrease of drunken.
ness in Birmingham of 876 cases as compared with the returns
for 1877. Considering the increased vigilance of the police
and the large annual increase of population-10,000 per
annum—l can but regard these figures as highly encouraging,
and I much regret they reached me too late for quotation on
Monday last in the House of Lords in support of my motion
for Sunday afternoon opening of national museums in Lon-
don.—Yours. faithfully, TaintLoW, 42, Upper Grosvenor-
street, London, May 10.
--- • • •

RETURNING HOME.—According to information in the
Messager d' Odessa it appears that 40,000 men, 2,600
horses, and about 400 transport waggons will be con-
ed, about the 15:1 of May and the 15th eif June,
by the Russian Steam Navigation Company's vessels,
from Bourgas to Odessa and Sebastopol. The
remainder of .the army will take the direction of Reny
by the Bender-Galatz Railway. The Golds states that
the return movement of the troops has commenced
and that the evacuation will be completed by August 3.
WHEN TAICEN.—Lady (to rheumatic Old Woman) :
—"I am sorry you suffer so—you should try galvanism.',
Old Woman: "Thank you kindly, mum; be I to
swallow it or to rub it in? "—Fun.
A " SELL " FOR BARII3I.—A neat " sell " is told of

I

Mr. Barnum. He was staying at a certain hotel,
when one of the group of men who were chattering
together proposed that they should have a race to a
fence some hundred yards away, and that the last
man who touched it should undergo a penalty not
wholly unconnected with the purchase of champagne.
Barnum declared that he could not run, he carried
too much weight, and was not in training; but a
I
much more ponderous old gentleman declared that
he would try, and Barnum therefore consented also,
thinking at any rate he could heat "the nineteen
stunner." They made a fair start, and Barnum
was astonished to find himself leading, in spite of
weight and bad condition. He continued to make
play at length ahead, and suddenly the peculiarity of
the fact that he should be beating young and active
men flashed upon him. There must, he felt, be atria
somewhere; so, on reaching the rail, instead of touch-
ipg it, he turned round and watched the various rivali
in the race. No one else, however, touched the rail,
and the wily showman saw through the catch. If he
had touched it he would have been "the last man" to
do so, as none of the rest would have done it on ant

account

PORTBAlT.—Facetious Friend (to Artist) :•-•
"And this is poor Tom Smith, is it? Dear, dear.
dear 1 And I remember him such a handsome, jolly;
looking chap only a month ago 1 Dear, dear, dear 1'
—Fun.
MAN CAUGHT BY A SHELL.—" Es= Lucius"
writes :—" Captain Doughty, of H.M.S. Crocodile,
told Col. Leathes some most, interesting stories about
_ _ _

the magnificent shells that abound in cOral reefs, etc.,
in the Great Indian Ocean. Some of these shells are
over four feet in diameter. On one occasion a sailor
belonging to H.M.S. Magpie jumped overboard upeo
a reef of coral, having about three feet of water over it.
He put his foot into a large open conch shell, like 0
monster oyster, which closed upon the poor fellow'e
foot, and although several men who went to his assist'
ance tried their best, they could not get the monstet
shell open again or remove it from the reef. As the,
tide began to rise, there was no time to be lost, so 0
last they agreed to get some large crowbars from the
ship, and by degrees the shell was broken into piece
and the poor man's foot released, which, however, we
so terribly injured that it had to be amputated by the
surgeon of the ship when he was taken on board.
This ;hell was probably the giant clam, ot Tridatlo
gigas. It is not infrequently used as fonts or to coo'
tam n holy water in Roman Catholic cathedrals on the
continent.—Land and Water.
Too NEAR HIS FIGURE. —On one occasion, whet'
General Butler was in command at New Orleans,
Colonel up in the Red River region made applicstloo
for a furlough, which was refused him. Soon after,
the Colonel left his command without permission aIP
went to New Orleans, where he was arrested and P?,
in irons as a deserter. Upon an intimation that P'
wished to make an explanation, General B. had Wel
brought to his headquarters. "Well, sir," said W,
General sternly, "what have you to say in explanativ
of your conduct?" "Well, General, there are ten',„
Jews up yonder who have some cotton they want 51"
get through my lines. First they offered me 500 doled
which I refused. Then they offered 1,000 dole., tbel
5,000 dols., then 25,000 dols., and at last they offere",
100,000 dole.; and I tell you, General, they were et
ting so near my figure that I thought I'd bet?,
leave !"—" Editor's Drawer," in Harper's Magazr.
for May.
g
AVERAGE PRICES OF BRITISH Conn.—The loiloyesf
are the average prices of British corn for the we'd
ending May 10, as received from the inspectors g .
officers of Excise :—Wheat, 40s. 9d. ; barley, 30s.
oats, 21s. sd. per imperial qr. Corresponding We:,
last year :—Wheat, 525. 4d.; barley, 40s. 2d.;
255. Bd.
MA;
MARCH OF EDUCATION. —Newsboy : "Pall
Globe, tand—"—Old Gent: "Any news, my, befla
—Newsboy: "Echo, Sir, or Evening Stan—
Gent: "But is there any news this evening?
boy "You want me to give you a Pressee, do 5T„,,11',0
Shan't ! " [Exit.]-01d Gent (to himself) : vecal
me! A ' Precis '! This comes o' those Sell
Boardsl"—Punch.
I;
THE RECENT COLD WEATHER.—The Times ‘.ll tbei°
weather article) remarks If we attempt to dieeoli
some reason for the unusual continuance of easter„il
wind this year over Western Europe, it will be feemo,
primarly in the abnormal prevalence of high heto
metric pressure in Northern and low in Soutlie,h
Europe, and the passage in an easterly or sow:t
easterly direction of numerous depressions across
south-western districts and France. In this veal ro
cold air of Russia"and Northern Europe generalist, Pp
been drawn rapidly over to the United Kine°loo
bringing with it a great deal of the cold of the reg fte
whence it came. . . . Perhaps there is one boll aj
thought suggested as we consider the long perio,„
cold through which we have passed, and it is thle',l,
Unless the year 1879 is to be altogether exceptioo,4
we ought to be able to look forward to a warns
07.
summer. Forecasting for so long in advance is, hos
ever, somewhat unsafe. Many undertake it 100
rashly, and it is noticeable that among the man,' e` tie
do so almost every possible feature of weather iO4Ol
phesied by either one or another. The °rano
reader forgets who said this or that, and when.d
season comes generously says, "Well, 'they' se's
would be so." • • 00
A SAVING CLAUSE.—Scene: Dinner party, alloa
finish of second course.—Mr, Host. Oh, Mrs. Moe
could I assist you to a small piece more fish? 'Ls!'
Brown (who has been raised above her original ertee
tion). Oh, no thank you, I'm quite satisfied, least"
as regards the fish.—Judy.
ENEMIES Or TELEGRAPHY.—An official report v.,
Sumatra states that frequent disturbances EDY
graphic communication are caused in that islaoii'sse
elephants. During the three years 1875 78 there...,
been sixty serious interruptions traceable to this
As an instance, the report says :—" On May 25,
the Mnara-Dura-Lahet line was completely destrtge
for a length of three pauls, and the wires and ieler°
were hidden away in a cane thicket. All the reset
executed during the day were regularly destronlle
night, and this for three nights running. Besides roe.
systematic hostility of the elephants, the nuellE6'
tigers, bears, and white buffaloes make it bottle the
cult and dangerous to keep an efficient watch O'gle'
telegraph lines where they pass through thick P1;0
Both the greater apes and the little monkeys seetsiog
regard the lines as set up for the purpose of off° otii
them the opportunity of practising special o'o' 00
exercises, swinging from the wires, breaking thteo'
carrying off the isolators.
eal‘e,
SIGNS AND SQUALLS.—We learn from the Abney' 01
that the Sun in May is in Gemini—the Twine' IP
late it has been impossible to see him anywhere. boo
sojourn with the celestial infants, however, mai I
accounted for the late squalls.—Punch.
11 1.1
STAMP FLIRTATION.—The stamp flirtation
follows :—Stamp on the left corner, upside dordigto
love you ;." ditto crossways, "I love another;
straight up, awl down, " wish to be rid of your 0/00.
poodence 'at the bottom of right corner, croso,,ttoo
"o ;" ditto, upside down' " Yes ;" on leftso
corner, "Do you love me ; "ditto upside down, yO9,
displeased ; " ditto, crossways, " I wish to hateo9;
acquaintance;'' on right corner, upside down,
ship ; " ditto, straight up and down. "I am eng!e'reer,l
ditto, crossways, "Who cares ; " left bottom
"I am vexed ; " ditto, upside down, "Write e°
ditto, crossways, "Good-bye."
THE AMERICAN AND CANADIAN FOOD D.• 0.0
There was a marked increase in the arrival!
stock at Liverpool last week from the United flee"
and Canada, when contrasted with the prevfou°. per
though in the supply of fresh meat there vestral
. ceptible falling off. Five steamers reached the AbA 1,0
bringing 370 head of cattle, 2,368 sheep, an'ol
pigs. Five steamers also arrived with fresh
their collective consignments amounting t.„° l'
quarters of beef, 1,529 carcases of mutton,
dead pigs,
" BRINGING HOME THE MAY."—Old 7 001 a
'Few fl were, but plenty showers!' Ugh
the old poets either pulled the long boy
--
wrong bough. 'Ye twig I"—Fun.
A
UNDERGROUND Tralioßatms.—There are
u le'
plaints of the destruction of subterranean concl h te
in England by rate, fungi, and an insect whie'rpose'
graph engineers seem to believe created on paoa
Wires suspended above ground are an eyeser,tele ,tc
source of considerable danger in towns, and "-viol
damage from wind and thunderstorms; and it a wit
be a pity if they could not be carried undergreelnee ei
safety. In countries liable to hostile invasioe, 'ee
posed to observation they would either be destrolth
utilised by the enemy. F.e• this reason, and wi t
eye to the revanche, the Germans have resolyek
intersect their country with a complete netvill
communication, if possible at once invisible 01thrt
accessible; and it is expected to be complete ltr ti
years, one half being already finished. WrPene11
711
whole work is executed, the German Empire
crossed by two great main dables,' stretching etil
Riinigsberg on the north to Strasburg in the 1313,
and from north-west to north-east between
and Ratisbon, crossing at Berlin. Three other -
linen will also combine to connect the chief f(,
And centres of the 'commerce anti inclueN '„nji
aiutry. The total cost will be about a mumon
half eterling,—lron,

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