The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1876-04-22 00:00:00

A RINKLE.

A FALLEX skater badly bruised
Lay fiat upon his back and named
(Ile posture's good for thinking):
"How well," he cried, " fellow feels
Who tries, but cannot wo his wheels—
The weal and woe of rinking."—Fun.

AMERICAN HUMOUR.
A Mississippian, in bragging about him wife wound
up with the declaration, " Why, she'd make a regullar high-
pressure steamer, she'a such a talent tor blowing up I"
_

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A Now York gentleman is blessed with fifteen
danthtera, a'nd he is lo.king about for fifteen laely young
men to bless each of them with a wife.

"Do you lik9 novels r asked Miss Fitsgerald of
her backwo3ds lover, " I can't say," he replied; "I never
had any; but I tell you I'm death on possum."

Mr. trudhowmo, in the decline of life, wait talking
with his nephew, to whom he related stories of his youth.
"But uncle," suddenly exclaimed the young man, "what
struck you most during your life?" "My dear boy, it was
your aunt I"

-
A Detroit journal gays an old man of that city has
played ninety thousand games of checkers. What a
checkered career that old nian must have had.

"In the absence of globes, how do you illustrate
the shape of the earth to your scholars?" asked a committee
of a school tesuher in Illinoia—" I shows 'ern my head,'
was the r.ply.

The people of Wyoming don't know whether to call
their female judge a justice's of the peace, or a ju.stioe of
the pieces.
The following composition has been turned out by
an American sch lar aged nine years :--'• A boy without a
father is a norphen, without a nv,ther a double norphan,
but is oftenest witianit a grandfather or a grandmother, and
then he is a norphanist."
A man in Indiana, on returning home from a busi-
ness Journey recantly, found that his wag, during his
absence, had rafll-d all the furniture and departed and the
sheriff arrested bins for allowing gambling on his premises.

i
It is stated that in a certain district n the far West
mof criitoes are so plestilul that they are unable to get on a
strauger all at once, and al they stand round in relays, and
wait for their turns like customers in a barber's shop.
A Yankee down-east newspaper says, "Without in-
tending to be personal, we feel bound to declare that if our
postmaster would resign, many timid persons would feel
safer about their money letters.

An American paper quite in a tiff says—" There
seems to be no end to the number of planets in the solar
system. Five new ones were discovered last year."

The Yankee who wrote to the State Board of Agi
culture to ascertain what was best to plant tn wet land, was
ayourably imprussed hy the answer :—lt was "teaks.

- -
A Western preacher discoureed from the text, "How
old art thou?" and the next day about one.third of the
women of the clngregation called to tell him it was Hone of
his businew.

A mother, who had with her a little daughter, was
examining the figure of a horse on a tombstone, and wonder-
ing of what it tvas an enAlem. There was nothing to explain
it in the inscription "Mamma," said the little one, as they
moved away, "I shouldn't wonder if she died of the night-
mare.

An old detective at Troy, U.S., says—" If I deeired
to train my son lor a dirtective, I would tint make him a
newopaper reporter. Drat, beyond any other nn,iness is the
businees that makes stupid men smart, ordinary men able,
and capable men brilliant; amt what an experieneel re-
p ,rter cannot doted is not Iv rth &tenting.'

A Californian ed tor lately purchase.' a donkey, and
another editor. in the genie !wittily records the circum-
stance as a rent tikable instance of Bettpcwseasion.

A California jury, in a suicide case lately, retnrned
the following verdict :—" We, the jury, And that the de-
ceated wee a fool"
A jary was -brought inio court, in order that one of
their number might be iOstructed on the followit,g point
of taw :—" If I b,-I,eve that the erldence war one way, and
the other eleven be iev different, dues that juttity any other
juryman in knocking me down with a chair r. She Judge
sue reredin gencral terms.
Tee Chicago Post claims to have zLfti&tonal staff
a lady Of cxueorauary enclitics. The edifor says he "never
knew Roy one whit could write situ equal ea.e upon so
)clogular a range of topics • with inforreauon so d 'act in
I " Whereupon an curious contemporary asks the Post
wily it never pubilaies any other article&

FaAticto-AminibArr.—A bill has been intro-
duced in the Paris Chamber of Deputi s fcr ruaLing
a grant of 10,030 francs for the purpose of sending
working men to the Philadelphia Exhibition. From
men thus 'franked abroad we shall expect a franc