The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1869-11-09 00:00:00

VaTittito.

A Nona rorivii—A Pose. DOOR
CLIILICAL VACAXCT A sermon ! Judy.
NSW Poste under Covemment. —Telegraph poste.
All Early Clo(th)ing Aasociatlon.—A baby•linen shop.
WHAT metre is bust for • Talent/net—Meet her by moonlight
mine.
Starts ENOUOU.-110W to plow, the plige—give them plenty
to est.
HCANDALOCS—A Candle that wants snuffing out— The
Edmunds ...casuist.
FROM Somr.asersimaa—Why Is agriculture like • rat 1—
Itecsuse its .annin.
THO SHADS" Or BYRON—That which Mrs. Stowe Me tried
to cast over his memory.
AT AlOlllll, Pituvaaa —Boys will be boys. This Is 11011/8010.
Dew. will he men -if they live long enough.
Mires° the ri,rht nail on the heal. —The tack to go upon for
Mo..r who wish to make money, is of course • tin-tack.
I'ARIIO,O CHI POTlM—Every yams. his own pope Mena to
Ac i.e maxim of sissy clergymen of the Church of England.
—Punch.
"AT. UmuiT! How is Tom r—Judy hears that the Rev.
Mr. Ilushand has ....."'Cr to Rome ; but If they arc going to
admit hushasids Into the Papal Church, how about the celibacy
of the Clenry ?
How to no rr.--Mrs. Nantaneer: What you've got to do,
Amelia, is to keep the whip hand of him, and If he jibs.
tighten the curb I soon tamed mine she,, I took him in
hand. !Poor Mrll. Mildnasy look. up at the portrait of her
Geutlenian, and wonders how he is going to begin.]
Excrasioxist (from Salt Lake): Give me through tickets for
fifteen grown pennons and thins-nine children. New Ticket
Clerk (from Massachusetts): If It's • school or an aselumn, we
can make them cheaper to you. -Excursionist (indignantly):
Sir? Its my own private faintly, sir!
An ASCIIOIIOTHI TARIM PAII..T. In his speech Exeter,
Arelnimeon Freeman said that "he hausl newspapers bemuse
iwy were such foible thing's. There were ic inewvapers in
SL Polars time, or he would have hated them too." Judy can't be
expected to know an much we 1611 Areildtlaron but surely St_
Paul Ins too much of a gentlenim to hate anything because it
was feeble? If she is wrong -well, ths Archdeacon is well off
in not being one of St. Paul's conteniporaties.
Dasogivattos sr ANALoOT.—Objection has been made, by
certain sympathies,s to the sect of persists named Rata/hits, to
that wont as applied to distingubh that sect. lt is passible to
conceive one which would be 111.. re distinctively definite. This
sect appears to be no other titan that origin .lly founded by
Dr. Posey. There is s very deckled method in their doctrines
and practices. Instead, therefore, of Itimalids, noontime we
call parson. and permits of this denomination Piney=
Methodists? .

Tun Gam Wm.—The good silo ehould reeemble three
ti inge, which three things she should not be likc. First, she
ohould reeemhie • anall—a/way. keep within her own b 00..;
but she should not be like • snail, to tarry everything she has
upon her back. denotwl. SllO should rceemi.le AU echo—to
speak when.ahelle epoken to; hut khe should not be like an
echo, alwaye to have the Wet word. Third, the should
reeemble • town.clock.—alwaye keep In good time and
regulatity ; but she should not be Ilk., town Wont, to speak no
loud that all lb. town may hear her.

nlitumons ix iiaix nowin."
Ennui, ill-temper.
Dolor ,far niente, Ise:Mesa
Decolielte, half undraned.
Othnneurn digninne, haltpay.
Regniseat ir.zee, he loft. (good) fortune.
On dit
Ruse, • inelmile.
Mug in urbe, • cheated bumpkin.

THE HISTORY OF A HONEYMOON.
FROM TOR DIRIIR OF TIM 11116 AND IMUDIOROOM.

fin- Monday. Londlon.—The mod important entry !have
ever made mode! The greatest—the grandest rpoeh In illy
life: at 10.30 ant. I was married !! houlnen/r white tulle.
(Veil given by Aunt Jane). Cried • deal, but so happy. Dear
darlimpest John, and looked so noble In his blue cot!
lie -Monday. Was tied of, at 10.30. Shucking dull altair—
er, leg -Church and bad champagne. Glad I stuck out about
the settlement..

Sue Tursday. Tenby.— Ikautifill morning: sunshine—
birds singing dear J ohn—hsepy e the dav Is bong.
lie Tuesday. Came doell here net night. lied hotel —bed
dinner. Place looks better by daylight ; but I should ray
dullish. Poor Nclly! not much to any for herself.
line-- Wednesday. Dear, &Hinged John! ec kind and
thoughtful. After breakfast cent out exploring all the ruins ;
eo intereding, and limning toi J,hns arm—so 11{00.
lit- Wsdassday. Tolerable Ineeklast. Went out with
Nell) to see " the ruins," and she quite walked toe off my legn
.% folk 'Wolof t lug. ' ruins" are to be sure ' lied no him
!I • V.'s wigked so much ; took fay an. all doe way back.
11-- TA yak; y. tin:morning wentina.dri, ing 14 ith John.
Aft! r more ruins.

111 -Thurs.:ay. Uri% ing. Wiggly aluggi‘h /14 rt nt pony.
Ruin.o .a;n ; really can't stand any more of 'cm. Beginning
to raln.

Sitx—Proday. Raining heavily. Nothing to do. Dear
.I.hu seems fidgety, poor fellow. I should think this foothill
pk.ee wl., o it rains.
Ifs Raining like the deuce. Dreadfully dull.
Sony hamil • Vr4.l to say for herself; and the rine lit even
worse than the cigars.
Sini—Nuturdap. Still raining. John Is quite dull, and
downit seem to talk to one touch ; It really seems as if he
were at tting tired 01W What is to be door!
Ili Saturday. Can't stand it any longer. Neily I. quite
tirrrome motnetitnex Suggest going tack to town by 3.56
espres, She agrees at 'net. hurrah what an wraps!

CONSEQUENCES OF THE CONGR IFELIRE.
Di. Pl' SIT has not kit his bed since he me lii tire papers the
antiountement of the trovl d'llire to the Dean ainl Chapter 1,1
Exeter. He ha. resigned his Canonry and Professorship, and
his passage is taken for New &Mi.& The °Moves and mew
of the vowel by which he will mil hare had to undergo • searth-
big examination in sound churelitsauship ; and It I. understood
that the second male who failed In his itcchiscii, the ship's
cst who broke down in the Articles, and two common seamen
proved by their ,itvis confosbni to be coloured to. young persons
holding Dissenting views, will be discharged. the vessel mils
lore LisnrissA lint in gniint to that port from Oxford, Dr.
Fumy will mate • considerable dam', to avoid Rugby
Junction.
Lown Miarrirascar does nothing but wander up and down
Runhill Field. Burial Ground, ,rwWing the Inscriptions on the
tombs of eminent Nonconformists. He has expn,sed his deter-
MiliAtion flower to enter Eerier Ilall sgain, unless the Directors
change lie name. OINI of Mt upper servants, whom liStees
husband took a proinli.ent part in the typersphital prelates-
Don Ifuoy4 and Reviews, having declined to Medge himself
to withdraw from further communication with his brother-in-
tow, hal meek ed notice L.l dioniwal.
The Dosii of Ripon Illr. 11• Neile) never goes beyond the
precincts 14 the Liesocry, except on Solidity'', lest he should
me photographs of Dr Temple and Dr. Peary in the shop
windows. Ile has felt it to be his painful duty to decline social
inters:ouro with those lasolllon whose sous are being miumted
allughy.