The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1871-01-07 00:00:00

LINES TO MR. LOWE.
Neer throw away bootlaces inapt In twos,
One bootlace will suffice a pair of shoes.—Poneh,

ENGLISH HOMES AND HOUSEWIVES.
The recent letter of "A Frennh Lady," on "Eriglieh
Homes and Housewives," has, it is to be hoped, been
productive of some good; and as the subject is now
being so gen-rally discussed, the following letters from
the Doily News will not be devoid of interest to rnar.y
readers of both sexes :

To no who are without wives, and to whom wives appear
doubtful benefits and positive cares, there is something very
Instructive in the recent discussion and comments which
have found place in your columns. The "French Lady,"
who, on the strength of a three months' residence in Eng-
land, "alternately in the country, north and south, In a
county town, and in lodgings by the seaside," levelled her
grave charges against the women of the country which has
given her shelter, Intl a very amusing writer to begin with.
She only said what many a sensible initiate-teed bachelor
hue suspected for years ; but her observations were put
forcibly, and comprised that which we have thought vaguely,
but have not dared to utter, under the penalty of being
omitted from many a pleasant dinner patty, and losing
the pleasant relaxation of annual viiits to our country
friends. "Everywhere the same feature of English life has
frruck me," saps the candid French lady, "whether stay.
hg with rich friends, or (realigns into much humbler spheres
of life—the Incapacity of Eaglishwomen to what we French.
women c insider to be the first duties of our everyday life—
knowing Iv sr to work, to cut out, to mend, to sew, to knit,
to wash, to cook, to look nice, and make all around you look
nice even with the smallest means." The cookery question
and the household economy quest Tin came next, as did some
pretty little compliments to the "many and rare accomplish-
meets," and the "trite noble virtues" of the clan criticised.
These last were obviously thrown in as an artistic garnbh to
the rest, and did not in the leastinterfere with the Impression
conveyed that bi this c nun ry a wife is one of the most costly
and least remunerative investments smart can make, lied
any doubt remained as to the accuracy of this conclusion, it
would have lseen dispelled by the letters which have followed.
flue "English Lady" thanks the Frenchwomen "for her
m oler Ate and truthful letter," and admits of English girls
and matrons, that "they are taught to spend money, to go
into a shop to buy a dress, or a shawl, or a bonnet, but there
the lemon leaves off abruptly," and that ,they "posse's a
character for unthriftiness and carelessness in the per-
formance of house wi!ely duties" The other " Eoglish
Lady," who honestly confessed her aversion "to house-
hold drudgery and sordid cares ;" and the suffering husband
who thanked you for inserting strictures vhfch he
hoped meekly "might do much good," were also
witnesses on our behalf ; while a married man of twelve
months standing provided the element of humour, without
whish the controversy might, in its overwhelming prep
derance of evidence on one side, have become Wilt This
gentleman is blessed with an accomplished and testhetic
wife, Chosen for "moral and intellectual qualities," and
affording "a rich and abundant harvest" to her proud pos-
sessor. The latter after sneering magniloquently at choosing
a partner for proficiency in houskeeplog, lets out that he has
pin an income of three hundred a year), thanks to the female
Crichton ruling him' infinite variety in hit dinnars, and that
his comnirts are well cared for. "Wait till you come to forty
y,ar. then you know the worth of a lass, then you
know a boy is an ass ; wait till you come to forty
year!" wrote the late Mr. Thackeray ; and when my
young friend is at the end of twelve years instead of twelve
mouths of married lite, I shall be very happy to hear from
him again on the variety (1 his dinners, the extent of his
comforts, the adequacy of bin Income and the augmentation
of his nioral and Intellectual wealth. The British Matron's
tirade against "soups and stews," and the corollary that the
eating of bad dinners promoted strength and sinew, was
warmly appreciated in our sn,king room. as was the con-
fession of Ihe Anglo Frenchwoman that in France "men are
buret by the dulness of thstr womankind," and seek society
and amusement away from home.
• • -

I suppose it Is pretty much the same thing In both coun-
tries. Marriagea arranged by a functionary of State without
previous knowledge existing between the parties, weuld turn
out quire as happily and unhappily as those which are perpe-
trated now. What is called falling In love being a disease to
which ell mortals are Miele, and which only the strong sur-
vive unscathed, lam not disposed to be hard upon those
who marry and who d En't like it They have enough to bear.
These periodical complaints concerning mere surface trifles
such an cmkil g, WL111.1..3 clothes and finery, manage-
ment of servants, household arrangements and so
forth, are mere outward tokens of the radical dis-
satiefaction lurkitig beneath; arid married life borne
a life of restrictions, conventionality, and secrifice. is
naturally so unpalatable as to he only tolerated through the
force of haiElt, and only maintained through the tendency
of men to follow one another like sheep. I suppose this is
dreadful heresy. I know It will appear tubs so to everyone
with daughters to marry, and to everyone with the glamour
of projected matrimony over their eyes; yet it is the faith
of a great many agreeable, intellectual men, to whom dis-
cussions about cuffs and cookery seem straws showing the
direction of the social wind. Such men, having a pro-
found appreciation of the comforts of life, even of the
refining charms of female society (as long as they have not
too mu la of it, and can avoid it when they choose), do not
proclaim their opinions front the hour-top. They are con-
tent to act on them, and to Emile at the fatuity which tempts
men away from the sweet security of club and chamber, to
the uncertain perils and certain annoyances of housekeeping,
taxpaying, and family-rearing. There are doubtless seu-
timental and hypothetical advantages atteeding married life.
A middle-egad bachelor of my acqnaintance told me quite
seriously the other day that he wanted "the smile at home"
—BIS if It were a ninsical box or an may chair—and for-
getting that the frown at home is an equally likely con-
tingency. But my friend was suffering from a severe cold at
the time, and the wont vanished with convalescence.
Apart from an uneasy desire to be something that heti not,
and to have mmething that he has not, we, the writer and
Inspirers of this letter, are unable to admit any rational motive
furs change in life In which so much Is risked ; arid we think
It highly creditable to the honesty of "the other side" when
they come forward of their own free will to erinfess that in
the sense of perennial comfort the married state is a failure.
Fenny, egotism, and permit me to quote mine near- preeen.
tative case. I never sit down to a had dinner, and If by
some rare chance any item in my meal is not to my mind I
promptly " hack my bill, 'and an nredry Is instituted and a
report made to me by an aide and energetic committee, which
I sits for the express purpose of ensuring that my want, are
properly supplieit tam never annoyed by untidiness on the
part of domestics a button wrong, a dirty stacking, or a .
shoe down at heel would cost any one of them his place My I
own clothe., too—lt is a pet delusion "that you must marry
to have them seen after "—are I find at least as neatly kept
as those .4 the men at whose houses I visit ; and if it is
a little cheerless to he ill and alone, I console myself with the
reflection that it isdisagreeable lobe ill anyhow, and that tarn
spared all anxiety respecting the fate of others if things go
wrong with sate. Is thin set hi At lewd, it does no great
harm, and, being a (1(...t-tempered man with a taste for
order and aerate] t, whichhas been developed and strengthened
by huinigende, it may be that some young woman who is
ignorant of housekeeping, and untidy in tier dress, is the
happier for not exhibiting her deficiencies at my expense.
For though my income is net greatly In excess of that quitted
by the rapturous gentleman with the intellectual partner, I
find that by strictly spendlog every penny on thyself, and by
the exercise of a judicious economy. I am able, to rub along,
and to hold my own with married men of tone times my
means. Is this nothing, oh, young men—and will ye not be
warned?
Women, so far as I am able to judge, are of two kinds;
the 'depict patient dead... and the sharp witted sympa-
thetic companions who claim equality and want to Mare
your pursuits. The letter are the most dangerous, and give
most trouble. The firmer are only a dead weight. The
nine is a passive, and the other an active bore, and whether
with or without capacity for cooking or taste for dress, it
puzzles tee exceedingly to know what they can give in ex-
change for what they exact.
Lot the discussion between the French and the English
ladies continue, I beg. Encourage the husbands, new and
old, to give us their artiese confidence. Let us have the
details of a week's dinners and the cost of housekeeping;
the particulars of the milliner's "little account," and the
annual cost per wife. We like to hear of it all It gives
piquancy to our cutlets, and flavour to our claret. We evolve
fancy pictures rut of the smoke of cur Cabanas of the metroe's
appearance who cannot work, and who knows nothing of
housekeeping, and we make estimates other opinion of her-
self; and of the condition of her husband's mind and temper as
• he studies his Coristmas bills I NVhen it is remembered too
that there must be thousands of men, clothed and other-
wise, in their right minds, who are at this moment hovering
on the brink of proposals and of matrimony, it is not pos-
etble for us to limit the good your rest lotions may effect.
' If they save one man they will have done a noble work, and
• in lb • interest rot my fellows, and on behalf of around di ten
of friends who have subscribed cordially to every word I
have written, I am, FORTY YEARS.
i Celibate Club, Dec.

As the subject of the "French Lady's "letter Is Interest-
ing to all, will you kindly allow an English howeholder of 31 ,
years' standing to do what be feels ashamed his younger ,
brethren have not done—i e , speak one word for our ladles?
The 'French Lady's" remarks are doubtless founded upon
facts which she has met with during her three months etay
with us Let us hope that wherever they are applleable they
may be taken in good part and thus furl' the kindly intentions
of the writer. But what my thirty years' experience teaches
me does nut altogether harmonize with the conclusionl drawn
by the French Lady" from less than a quarter of a yenta
observation I must say elm appears to have been unfortu-
nate in her English acquaintances I trust that when she has
stayed a little louger in our country she will see more of our
English housewives, and think more favourably of them.
Now, through thirty years of more than ordinary riche
eitude, beginning with an income of £5,000, brought down by
sudden reverses, for a time, to not quite ; rg
the, ugh toil on my port, but chiefly through the thrift, man-
agement and accomplishments of my wife and daughtery
raised to what is termed a comfortable theme, I honestly
arture the French Lady" that there has been neither
waste, disorder, nor rags in my household, nor even a same-
ness in the dinners ; and though now, happily, none of my
housewives need take active part in household work, yet
during the illness of our cook the last few days, no one
could have detected her absence. My rooms arteornamented
with paintings and carvings both the handiwork of my
homer/rtes. Many of the former have stood the test
of public exhibition, and have returned to their nails
upon my walls with flying colours. My wife herself
educated our elder girl., and they in their turn educate
their younger brother, and sisters They mate most of their
own dresses, all the shlrte of the household; they visit the
poor regularly, each hating from five-and-twenty to thirty
poor homes wider her especial care. They Mali and read to