The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-09-20 00:00:00

A FAT MEN'S FESTIVAL,

Down at Dorlon's place on Gregory's Point, says
the New York Herald of the 14th ult., where the
Norwalk River enters Long Island Sound, a peculiar
atmospheric phenomenon was observed yesterday, as
it has annually been for 13 years past. The air sud-
denly became surcharged witn a savoury aroma that
made coasters smack their lips and landsmen hurry on
their "Sunday go-to-meeting " clothes. There was fish in
that odour,and fowl,and green corn,and sweet potatoes,
and spices, all intermingled, but pervaded throughout
by a flavour of clams. It meant that the Fat Men's
Association were down for their annual bake, and that
edibles in that section were going to speedy havoc. The
feeders came by the ton. There were waggons from
New Haven with creaking axles, and horses that
Bergh would have pitied; carry-ails from the interio
that for the nonce became carry ones, and trains with
engines that snorted from fatigue. But it was the
steamer Laura M. Starin that had the hardest work
to do. She was freighted with the New York and
Jersey fat men, and the wonder is how she held together
on the trip. Happily there was no mischance, and
pounds of adipose humanity beyond calculation were
put ashore, and.waddled and floundered around and
made merry in a way that only fat men are capable of.
It was a cure for dyspepsia to see those rosy faces glow
and those mountainous cheeks heave when their
owners said funny things, or enjoyed other people's
funny sayings. Every one also seemed to be hungry,
and in that savoury atmosphere there was good cause
for it, and good prevention too, as witness the contents
of the larder 75 bushels of clams, three barrels of
sweet potatoes, 1,500 pounds of fish, 4,000 ears of corn,
1,400 pounds of lobster, and 1,000 chickens. The fat
man had a solemn duty to perform before they began
the still weightor task of demolishing the roast.
Officers had to be electede—men who could maintain
due flesh and dignity the honours of the club. They
went about it in a business-like way, and elected as
president William Perkins, of Waterbury, Conn., who
lacks four pounds of 400. He took something known as
"the chair," beamed cordially on everybody, and all
the square inches of his countenance were snffused
with blushes when M. G. W. Bradley, the retiring
Incumbent, who tips the beam at 312, stepped up to
him. This gentleman bore the baton of office, a large
crooked staff, with the names of the presidents of the
fat men blavned on it. He presented it to Mr.
Perkin 3 with a suitable address, and the new head
of the club, rising, told the members how highly he
esteemed the honour, and promised to return home
and labour hard to increase in flesh and appetite. Then
the following gentlemen, with the appended weights,
were made vice presidents c—H. D, Busch, of
Floboken, 411; Patrick Murphy, of Saugatuck, Conn.,
278; J, F. Wheeler, of Saugatuck, Conn,, 275;
W. B. Sharp, of Danbury, Conn., 216 ;
Andrew Hull, of Danbury, Conn., 220; Theodore
M. Amsdall, of Albany, 220 • William Werner,
of New York, 220 ; A. W.allace, of Rridge,
port, Conn., 220; William H. Risley, of Berlin,
Conn., 225; James Hillender, of New York, 225;
and J, A. Kerr, of New York, 227. Among the other
colossi were James Covert, who tips the beam at 300;
Charles S. Warren, who ig 18 years old, and brings it
down at 279; A. Kling at 320- R. Si Roy at 297;
p. M'Correaek at 308; and James Norton at 353.
, Suddenly there was a concerted movement in the
gathering. A volume of steam was rising from the
bake; then there was a clatter of plates, and
he assembly broke wildly for the dinner table.
How describe what followed that banquet ; how
mammoth mortals moved with difficulty; how
they would joke end dance in spite of conse-
quences, and how they footed it neatly in the
lively quadrille, while the platform groaned and the
very earth quaked I It all passed off happily, though.
Not a cloud marred the occasion, except towards the
close, when there was a demonstration in earnest. An
agent of an anti.f at concern had come upon the scene.
The rash man fell a victim to his folly. They mobbed
him firet, zed then made him swallow his samples. He
disappeared soon after, and all hands went away with the
conviction that he was abaorted by his own compound.
Tha number of buggies broken wig not eomputed, but
It was noticed that the Lanra M. Starin never lay so
low in the watew ae she did on her trip home last
, night.

SURGERY IN SEASON. Couching the skies for
Cataract.—Punch.
NOT hicuipeD.—A young girl of the Canton
Schwyz called on a registrar of marriages, and in-
quired as to the cost of an official betrothal (putting up
the banns).—" Two francs," answered the registrar.—
"That seems a good, OA" remarked the applicant.
"But never
.mind. When must I come ? "—" To-
morrow morning, at ten o'clock." Exactly at the
hour named the fiancee, gayly dressed, put in an
appearance, but to the registrar's surprise, quite alone.
He asked her to take a seat, thinking that the other
party to the proposed formality would 80011 arrive.
After waiting half an hour the registrar grew im-
patient, and inquired of the young lady how soon her
betrothed might be expected.—" lyly betrothed ?" in.
guired the fair candidate for matrimony, in a tone of
indignant surprise. "I thought he was included in
the two franca 1"