The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1876-05-20 00:00:00

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Mr. Gladstone's sympathy with labour hadainiffilrted
him, during the enforced idleness of Opposition, into a
model wrking man (says the Globe). We live in days
when literary work is sometimes disparaged. "He
preaches a sermon a week"—says the Northern Farmer,
drawing a. rathpr dis idvantageouf3 cOlatrast b'itweenthe
curate and himself—" but I have stubbed Thornaby
Waste." Mr. Gladstone both preaches and stubbs.
After settling certain Hometic climb's in his
study, he passes into open air lifd and fells a
beech tree. A local paper is very exact about this
beech ire, which was 13 feet in ercumfarence,
weighed nine tons, and "contained over 200 ,
cubit; feet." These measurements did not in-
dwe the woodman to spare either the tree or himself.
Six hours' work. '`in a thoroutzh business-like-manner,
and quite to the satisfaction of the purchasers," pros-
trated the bsech, which was afterwards sold to some
timber merchants. 2 It was Sterne who said that every
man should plant a tree, write a book, and leave a son
to succeed him. But the ex-Premier's taste has
alwa)s. been rather to pull down than to plant. His
activitY is not, however, without precedent;
for Cincinnatug ploughed, 'and Warren Hastings—ac-
cording, to Lord Macaulay—anticipated the labours of
the Acclimatisation Society. Mr. Gladstone has,
before this, shown his versatility for_ office by holding
different posts at the same time, and he may now, per-
haps, consider himself in training as a possible Com-
missioner of Woods and Forests.

. _
MERIC Al 4 iHUMOUR.
,ro
. An Indianopolis reporter calls .tbe late unsuccessful
printers' strike in thst city "a typographical blunder."
There is a publican in New York so remarkably
stout that he retails his shadOw at fdipence a pot.
"Came to his death while being hit on the head with
a long-hsndied stewpan in the hands of his wife," was the
verdict in a recent case in Illinois.

-- • --
Jonathan Briggs, .of New York, has a memory so
long that he is obliged to tie it in a knot to carry it about
with him.
A journalist says that the girl of the period prides
herself on "being no Larger round than a candle.'' What
he means is that she has a taper waist.

In Indianopolis, a etarving vagrant is engaged in
selling bis wife's wedding ring to buy bread. His average
sales i,re twenty-five rings per week.

A. citizen of Chicago recently found it necessary to
publish a csrd to the .effect that "he had not come to an un-
amely end 14 committing suicide."
A disconsolate gentleman in Chicago advertists that
the thief who stole his well-bucket and 'rope will oblige him
by coming and taking the well, for which he has now no use
,
coroner's jumrendezed a verdict that
a Man whose body was found in the river came to his death
by a blow on his head, which: Was given before or after
ro
There is a =Min Massachusetts so straitened in his
circumstances that he is obliged to get ht waistcoats made
at a lunatic asylum and., there is another who has lived so
long in the State of O hi-o, that he can't pay'anybody.
An Irishman and a Yankee met- at a tavern, and.
there was but one bed for them. Oa retiring the Yankee
said he did not care which side of the bed he took ( Pdhan„li.,
said Pat, "you may take the under side. .4 •10,i
Mr. Disraeli's recent speech on Central Asia is said! d
to be regarded in German semi-official circles .as affording
evidence of the frendliness of Great •Britaiu tOwards the 11,1
alliance of the three Emperors.
Airtiveller stopping over night with a Texan farmer
whoee estate was miles and miles in extent, said to him,
"You must havo begun life very early to accutnulate such •
an estate as thls."—" Yes," replied the farmer, "1 bdgari life
when I was a mere baby."
Brigham Young is a director of the "Utah Southern
Railroad, and has a family pass The road, however. insists
upon being notified in advance when his family wants to
travel over it, that they May place More rolling stock on it. '
The other day (says a New York paper) we noticed!°'
the following warning stuck tip in ft ferry-boat :—".Passengetlit
are prohibited from leaving the boat,till made fast to the 1.
bridge." As we drove on, after reaching shore, we came to
a bridge over a small stream,, and learned irom,a conspicuous ,
placard that "Persons must .not cross, this bridge while in,,,'
motion." • , , $1
Important question discussed by a debating society!
In Mile/ankle :—" Whether an -untidy woman with a sweet'
temper is to be preferred to a tidy OM Vitik a sour temper
The controversy, according, to, the, ,laet
~report, was ,stilf
raging, and no vote had been taken. ,
• He was taken sick in the night, and his young wife
In 'her youthful ignorance, made two inu•tard'plastieri,linidt
,Amt one in front and one behind. He was a well-bred man;
and merely said that he realised the secret of the sensation
pelt by a well mustarded sandwich.
American special correspondent on his way to' 1
tb Philadelphia Eabihitiun, crossed the ;Pasaic Falls and
writes, thusly of that liquid :—" iho Pasfajc- VallS we. vary
'high. 'At night the moon silver's the rot log, writhing toe- ,
rent, which, plunging,ffils the chasm almost to its top with '
a roaring, snowy cloud of foam. The huge black pines stand
with bowed beads and drooping arms in the masaywrtittist;
1 and far below in the dim basin the white waters rush from
the embraces of the cataract with a saddening wail. Do not
iron the bridge 'without an umbrella,"
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