The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1884-08-26 00:00:00

A NOVEL SKETCH OF WEYMOUTH.

It is often instructive, arid sometime, amueing, to
see ourselves as others see us, and • eerie. of n toe on
Weymouth published in the Sporting Tina, which
rejoiries in the a Iditional title oi tue " Pork 'Us,"
may prove entarraihing. Hth.ugh we aliould not care
to hold oureelves responsible for the absurdities
therein expressed, nor the questionable towte dis-
played
"Few places do more to make the visitor comfort dile
than Weymouth. Almost the lind sight one i.e. on
binding is a large inestiptiou—Cutter Tsniporanco
Hotel. We naturally du. We always cat a temper-
aims hut .1. A house when, there is • butUe awl
'loggia. department is good en iugh for us. but for the
iniaguided the above advice is most excellent. Theo,
again, Weymouth poseesaw a bnud which at intlictiog
annoyance is gated bayou 1 mat baud.. But does it
swoop down on the unwary visitor mid blow en hien
bleats of discord into his ear, end drits him to drink
and • diehououred grave! n it ciareludy placards the
town with the whereaboura of its playing. From 11
to oue it ajil say it intends to play at lailsombe
Regis, and from six to eight at Weymouth. flies at
11 o'clock may the lie combo Regis' Leo be sees leaving
their hournisl with late toakete to picnic in ler-off
porta of Weymouth ; while at six toe Wei moutbiaus
all go off to ter at Aeloombe Regis. It is little
politehemi like this that macre, visitors come t. 3 • t own
twice. But above all, lair:ON, in what the inhabitants
insidered ;mint timer,' they erected ait ,toe of
George Ili. to cheer Hinman.** up, and when Liaise
got a un worse they coveted this statue, and lik.o wise
• lion and unicorn, with gilt, an i the effect midureth
I auto this day. You are feeling very Li.
You Bear is pouching you like • ate-am hammer ;
your letters are doleful reading ; your *nand wine.
that the girl you love most accuse very j oily, and is
always about with the man you loathe most ; your
editor wilted for copy at once; your irbiLlC can't
uuderstand how you lett him without settling ids
account ad JOU pearlare<l, War reminds you of the
exisitonos of unit:Hato ; and then you °um* Upon i..ia
stetue. and at its sight you forget health, love, work,
and dent, and sit down and rear es heartily as it you
heist • ciao le the world. Tunes who abuse this
etalus have never known trouble. We hadn't been
five minutes ia Weymouth, hal not walked • hundred
yard. on its beautiiui esplanade, had but just gt•ncsd
at the prim Georgian houses encircling toe drive, had
hardly smutted toe bright blue waves which came
tumbling in on the yellow sande, had icortelly tomtit the
outline of the rotting downs on the left of the bay,
when a magnificent inspiration dished aaruir us, salCl3
• one as Mit comes to • great genius ouOe ha • Watteau.
" We, • mere sporting journalist I' we add to our-
selves; "we • more audible: of paragraphs,
we will yet sheer Faigarni the*. in us she
heaven-born poet, and will show
trtr: •
his old gentleman first." We approach
veassrableduulung siergyinais and realm ked :
"It seems to it , sir, that, o .oadertng the nature of
it. scenery, thus place might wed b, coil ii the
Englieh Maples." The elderly divine took nil his
!Emoted«, wiped them, and put them in their sae.
He then rung us warmly hy the Land and said :
" Young man, I have libel here fifteeu yesits. 1 hare
hosed sine tbuusaud nine hundred mid h 1001) -0100
idiots mak* the very identical rem rag you're just
male. I always mud that the Wu toqusandtu oliut
would be my deato. You are toe ten thoulaudth
I die happy ;" so saying be lay down on his
Eqpt on the siihd., crossed his hands, and with • glad
emit, left for his ling bums. Weymouth protects it,
toetpath from it, ones with little pints and Hirai's,
the latter of which dangle about six inches from the
ground, and Sr. admirably adapted for sending the
unwary face first into the rued. This hal given riee to a
new euphemism. Is Fieetestreet they ask," Does he
go out and see men often ?" lip weei, 'Disc be
denim round and melee things skip ? ' lo the county
of Kent, "UO, he go up street?' And when a man
of Kent goes' up street he gecerally c'toes down in
somebody else's hat on a ehutter ; but at Woyuomth
they ask," Has he got • brokeu nom'?" ''When oo
get to Weymouth,' said the Shifter toH ~trio," 'rood
you go to the White Horse," sal Moho' repeated
this to Master, who said, "Oerteinly we will, for,
whatever may be Shifter's errors on a racecourse, on
booze he Is sound." And two men tqrued not into the
Marine, and passed the Victoria, no I hurried by the
Gloucester, nod tarried not at the It 'yid, nod partook
of naught at the Imperial, but strode on. '' Right
for the White Horse!" they aile -J. "Go on," was
the reply, and beneath a broiling ono, on &dimity rood,
those two walk* I. " there will be some marvellous
tap id beer here," gasped Master, voloi I as if be
had lurched into a shower bath with all Lid clot:row
on. "Shifter knows good beer," but B. Ail]. could sot
answer, for hi, tongue was glued to toe roof ut his
mouth with thirst. But on they went, till they acted
again whathir they were tight. " Perfectly,"
raid the stranger; " but I shouldn't advise
you to g' any farther, You coo see it
better from here than when you are ClOlO by.
Look on the green side of that hill—you see dog
out in chalk an quest:len status of Go ag., 111.
That's the White if KV, " " What, ain't it a pub'
yelled two men, " Pub !" said the stranger, in lig-
nantly ; " why, Ws the finest monument in Gorier."
And then two men sat down by the road-aide, mid
they cursed the Slitter fit, and they cur rod the Stutter
jumpy, arid they cursed the Shifter boeki: g, and they
cursed the Shift. r fielding, und they c ailed the Shifter
donating Into Short'', and they cursed the 13 sifter
being fired therefrom, and they cursed the Shifter
with principal., nod they cursed the Shifter with
choristers, and ten they ctawle I bock on all four.
to Melcombe Regis sod beer.
Religion goes very strung down Weyhrouth way.
When you go out to Lathe before breakfa4 they are
singing hymn, in the open air; walk d own the parade
before lunch, and you hear hymn,; turn out between
tea and dinner, and you hair hymn. ; and go out
after dinner you will find that they en, still singing
hymns, beneath lanterns stuck up on p des on the
shore. Everybo.ly tarries a hymn-book, and is most
generous in proffering you his or her half, and to
ate Master and Blobbe sharing hymn books with
two fat women in rii,ty black ant chanting
would bring tears to the eyes of • profermed atheist.
This singing and preaching are all very well for grown-
unipnlar
tt:,l es; t bduot. seen mro
and ugh on theo
to hy children,
whinorr:
when, instead of being harassed about their future,
the poor little mites would retlier be paddling about
In the sea, and getting wet through, and spoiling their
clothes, and growing well, and being ha opy, and having
a good time. Very diff remit was the conduct of (amigo
.who used on • threatening day to have a piece
fall of practical fun and jollity put up at the theatre.
and oollect all the children off the sands and go and sit
with the kiddyking himself, and enjoy their laughter
as mach se they enjoyed the play. A goo! old man
was George 11l Albeit, it is farbioosible to run him