The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1878-12-03 00:00:00

WITXO ITTIL
pan atth *illus.

—O:—
Among the coolest of cool bawls must be reckoned
the "Supposed Bpring-hasie I Jerk," who after
peering before before the magistrates, and ooatributing
share to the reduction of our En lose on the magis-
trates' clerk's salary, writes an epistle to those whom
la. has frightened, warning them against going to be
burnt with the devil and his angels.
The dredger for the Harbour, even if we get it, le
not to be the squirting one. After being total of the
wondrous saving to he got by hiring the machine which
discharged the stuff on the low land, what a diser
pointment 'tie to be obliged to recur to the dear old
plan ! Can it be the fact there are only two discharg-
ing dredgers in the world?

Supposing Mt. Canyon Leach to be sppointod
analyst for the county, bow mach of his time are we
likely to get for Weymouth? 'lts delightful of omen,
to h ere s highly superior man ret N-quarters ; but
I want to know, b-fon we settle a salary on the great
analyst, already Wasted for enrybody by tho County
Corn =item, what good we in Weymouth an by his
appointment to get?

Rot, terwio, tides, and storms, are at tie ;
It hits already out-lived its natural term, awarding to
the u.ual age of " kvaniDed," and is due "aches to
ashes, and dust to dust." But what does it matter,
so long is our officials can get in the boroh rate, pay
the aslarise, and keep the Mayor's chain and the
maces out of pawn for • glorious procession to the
psrish church LA the Pile-pier go, so long se wakes,
pace with the Government demand for new akar and
new salaries,

Oaa aay Weymouthlaa Haase bell eas, dun *a
Government pay half the expenses of certain establish
-
meat., to relates the ratepayers, how it le that the
rate. manage to keep to sash a very respectable Agate
in Ow IC?

Inspecting our nnisanc-es will soon be a pretty little
addition to our establirhinent charges, and • mercy it
will be if the now inspector is • •ottunon-sense man,
who avoid. being himself the greatest nuisance of au.
Mr. NlLltiwith that talent he haa for saying the
correct t on any subject, Pointe out that the
Inspector have to virdi 2,000 phase, slaughter-
houses, and vile places, Inspect moat, poultry, fish,
and drink. Let's hops ale tasting is not included in
the inspector's duties, or he may turn out • "jolly
good fellow," but hiy the mut to drop is on the
oentres of epidemics and infectious diseases, and to
tioke up the chokinp of drains. Nor must the
Inspector be an over-suilous man, or be may get such
• trick played on him as once riled • good old
Weyniouthilin. The tale is awfully old, but 'twill
hear repeating. A former inspvitor had an anonymous
letter, warning him that in St. ----- streeti
pip were kept. Pigs within the borough I horrible
Accordingly our Inspector dripped in "prowls.
cuously" on • highly respectable tradesman. "Dear
me Mr. - I What • ninon! I should almost
think you kept pigs I" "So I do," replied the trades.
man, ` there they are, over in that straw.' " Pigs I
air! pigs! dint you know they ore not allowed within
this borough r "Ah I but I keep than very clean,
ton can see for yourself." "Net ell wed at all, sir,"
exclsimeil our Inspector, moving towards the straw,
which being turned aside, discovered • goodly number
id the plumber's stock-in-trade, pigs of lead. Our
inspector saw he was '4l astray, and though he was a
keen jokist, for • long time he couldn't stead a hint
about the "smell of pigs."