The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1864-07-12 00:00:00

88.165

Varitttro.

It usually fallsout that Mae who seek otheridestrice-
lion find th. Ir owe.
When do we feel most for oar fellow erestarce! At
Christmas; blind males buff.
It is much better to be esiled over-liberal limn we.
; the first, good me will applaud ; the lath w
even had men will condemn.
Life in the springtime is hissts all its forms—life
with • 'v.l4 breath in it, life with a song in it, lif•
with a light in it.
Adversity, hie winter weather, is of ere to kill
those vermin which the MIDIDICT of prosperity is apt to
produce and nourish.
Abstemiousness and frugality are capital Waken..
They give a handsome interest, old never distommee
a draft drawn upon them by their humblest customers.
Why is the letter e • gloomy and discontented yowl!
—Berson, though aver out of health and pocket, it
sever appeere in spirits.
We eltou'd give as we would receive, cheerfully,
unlckly, and without hesitation, for them is no grate is
a benefit that sticks to the fingers.
There are three modes of bearing the ills of life; by
Indifference,whieh is tip most common; by philooploy,
which is the mot ostentatious • and by relights, which
• the most effectusl of the three.
. - . . . .

Itememlxr that It is. lied fact that revenig,lieer-
ever sweet, coets more than it is worth.
There is a salutary censure sad there Is envenomed
praise.
Actions are a higher ground of honour than any
speech. IN not life weight er and nobler this word.!
Good prayers," said an English &vine, " never
come weep hg home. lam sun. I anal receive what
what I ask, or what I should ask." .

A con (..id an Irishman) is the house men lives In
when he is dead.
_ _ .

_ ._--
" You have not shared thia morning," maid the
masa. to the oyster. "I shave ix bed," was the
oyster's reply. rtroking down Ai beard.
"My character, en.," said au aldirman, who hsd!
cleared him•elf from a charge of hribeiy, " is like my,
boots, all the brighter for blacking."
A military definition of • kiss would be a report at.•
bead.quarters. _

11•MTKII TOMIreB TUT roe Al:A.—Cousin Pierson,:
" Well, Tommy. And so you like your little friend'
Philip, do you; end how old do you think he is r
Tommy : " Well, I don't exactly know ; but I should
think he wee rather old, for he blows his own noes r
Culls roe Hoormo.Cooon.—The Courrier de Pas •
de Calais mentions several instonees of the owns of
hoop ng cough b 7 Inhalation of the repent* evolved by
the lime use 4 to purifying coalins. It affirms that
ton or three visits to the gm woike have usually proved
sufficient.

AlllatlOCll OF MIND. —Dr. Tbomu (Bishop of Salis-
bury) forgot the day he was to be marri4 and was
surprised at his servants bringing him anew dram A
gut stinging him on the the doctor stooped end
scratched the leg of a gentleman who stood neat to
him.

CHAIGIL—A lady who was very modest and sub-
missive before marries. was observed by a friend tones
her tongue pretty freely after. "Thor. was a tune
when I almost imagined it. had none." "Yes,"
said the husband with • kith, "but it's very long slue.
" A little more animation, my deer," whispered Lady
B— to the gentle Busse, who was walking languidly
through a quadrille. "Do leave me tomanale my own
business, mamma," replied the provident nymph • "I
shell not dance my ringlete oot of curl for • siss:risid
mem." "Of course not, my love; but I was net aware
who your psrtner was"
A Sootchnuin having hired himself to a fanner, bad li-
chees. set down before him, that be might help himself.
After some time the osa.er said to hint, "Bandy, you
bake • long time to breekfast."—" In troth, master,"
said Sandy, " • cheese o' this sire is nee sae moo sates
sa • may think."
There is • landlnrd In Bootee who is in the habit of
placing an extra fork beside the plies of such boarders.*
have not paid promptly—being an intimation to "fork
over" likewise."

A little boy, un coming home from • certain shine,
where he had seen • man playing on an organ, mid to
his mother, " I wish you hed been to church to-d.,
to see the fun—a man pumping music out of an old gag-
board."

--
Hoene Tooke, when asked by George 111., why kw
never played at cards, replied—" I comsat tell &lilac
from • km..."

A PA IDONABLI NUMMI. —A butcher of emir
eminence was in company with several ladies at a game-
of whist. when having lost two or three rubbers, ass
of the ladies addreering him, esked, "Pray, sir, what
are the Oak.' now?' To which, ever mindful at his
occupation, he immediately replied, "Madam, the base
rump I cannot sell lower than tenpenre-ballpenny a.
pound."
_ . _

r-f- -Nice Sous= Bivea•og.—Cold tea, favoured',
with lemon, and with • doih of broody in it, is an
inteellent berme,s for hot weather; but the tea should
he properly mid., and not allowtd to stand until it
becomes rash; damns, no milk muslin need ; boiling
water should be poured n the tea, end allowed to
stand for shoot flee minutes, then poured into ajag
eontainins the died lemon. When cold odd • oaf
glom of brandy, sod sweetest with sugar ocoording to

—irom Dihdia had • artap near Boxbill, to ebb*
after hie theatrioal labours, be was del.ghted to retire
One stormy night, after Mr. and lire. Dibdia had Imes
In bed some time, Mrs. D., being kepe awake by tbsp
violence of the weather, aroused her buslmel, exWat•
in,. "Torn, Tom, get up " Whst for?' sal4 be,
" Doo't you herr bow very bad the weather is?" "1.
It," replied Dibdiu. half asleep, though he amid as.
help panning, " Put • peppermint Invents out of the
wiadow, my dear, it is the best thing in the world for
the wind."

Best POWIZ. —Wealth, we are told, is power; tallest
Is power; and knowledge is power. Bat there is •
mightier force in the world than either of thess--m
power which wealth is not rich enough to pushes.,
nor genius sutras enough to refute, nor knowledge Irian
enough to over.reach. nor authority imposing enough
They ell tremble in its presence. It Is troth.
—the really most potent element of moial or individual
life. Though treed upon tke billows of popular com—
motion, or out in the seven•folA farness of perreintion,
or trampled into she da-t by the iron heel of power,
truth is the one indestructible thing in this world that
loses in DO 000fiiety suffers from no misusage and abreolh.
and maintains its vitality and completeness after every
assault.

yean ago, at the theatre in Dublin, Mn. Glyn,.
• now actress, made her Ant appearance in the
character of Lady ToirV, when three ladies of feabion
in the stage-box y insulted bet, by talking
loudly. coughing, The actress is greatly dis-
tressed, stopped, and at length burst into tears. and
retired from the stairs. The ladies, unabashed for •
moroent, enjoyed their triumph. But • meat uprose
ensued. and •Go oe, go on !" wu beard from all parts
of the hues, when a young collegian suddenly jumped
upon a bench, and exclaimed to the audience: "My
friends who mit around me are determined the play
shall not go on until those three drunken gentlemen in
women's clothes leave the stage-box.* This addresser's
universally m pleaded, and bang followed by a shower
of oranges sad apples front both pilleriet, the ladies
retired in the unsold eschasioo, amidst the yells and
hisses of the spectators.
Ax 014/1017011ABLI Qnsertort.—An old gentleman
who had dabbled all his life in statistic; said he never
heard of but one woman who insured her life. H.
amounts for this by the singular fact of one of ths
questions being. " What is you .I,r
A little boy, while writhing under the tortures of an
arts, was told to riCe up and eske a powder his mother
had prepared for him. 'Powder I powder' said be,
raising himself on one elbow, and petting on a smile,
mother, I ain't • gun."
He who is determined to make for himself a name In.
the world, or even to robe himself to a respectable
position in life, and gain the esteem of hie neighbours,
most go to work with his whole heart.
, It ii said that Bing William IV. declined to lake his
secood name. Henry, bearing of an old propbeel that,
as Henry VIIL bad pulled down masks and
Henry IX. would pull down bishops and belle.
DRAM Arimin in your Anal hoar, all in the broken
spirit fades and die.; fancies, thought, driving& re-
joicings, even thee the night-dower of faith may still
bloom on, refreshing with its perfume in the led
darkness.

All things in the world are in theeneelres good ; but
when we propound them as the presto.* and highest
good that we it peat setidection from, this turns them
all into vanity.
A very heautif al Jewess at • party lately was numb
annoyed by an impertineat fop. At length be asked,
tauntingly, "And you meter eat pork, Mae ma. r—
" Never, air r she replied. "Oar religion towhee se to
avoid everything swinish; you will, therefore, ranee
my declining any further eonverettion with you.
Two countrymen visiting the menagerie of the Jardlst
des Plantes in Paris, and, coining to the **bank OW et
them stolsigned, "What is that r "wlky that's the
elephtht, to beams," said a person sding by. "Oar
that's the elephant," mid the countrymen • then
turning to his oompimion, he added. in an undirtess,
"But how stapitt these people are—they feed hint by
the tail r

reettscitnie I drowned Englishman, plain • piece of'
reset beet under Lis no.* so Illthlasn, a gilj et
Poise.: • Sixwebmen, • hail-peony ; a Welshman, a
few Inks; • Fnitchtnan, • pinch of snuff ; a Bsmaiard,
some rrech blood; oti old maid, an offs: of mania.; •
Yankee, attempt to pia hi, poakets.
or
WHAT

U. 0.
The above enigma, which should be studied aad
practised by all, we saw posted in one tbe windows of a
store tbe other day. That no one may lose the mau-
ls( slit, we give the explanatioe : "Hand over what
routine."
RAIIOO, • LA MODI.—On en oression when the
late Doke of Demoahire wag moompanied in his
, by • visitor to dine at the Duke of WellingtooTt
visitor called the &Meatiest of the Doke to his footman.
`r he closed the door, and mid "Your servant is
drunk." His Grace took no notice. but oo siring hie
orders UN nett dsy, be desired • look earrioge to be
Adored from a livery Motile for Mr. J
This esporms not of soonudrolism has man permitted
to hi —to deceive women. When we consider bow
he has availed himself of the privilege so created by
indeed owe may symnithise with the advocates of
ermaan's rights who point out this monstrous wrong.
We bare read of that wretched woman of old. whom
•-he pica. Pharisees were for stoning incoatiseelly ; bat
a. dosee bem that they mid, any eatery espied Me
POP whew,, imaosess4 la the crime. Where was he?
II: so doubt, asd eery In mind. sad regalingtOMll
Meads over • bottle with the history of his
mosses.— Tiischtrep.
lIIPOZTANT TO YOUNO Lamm—All girls who
would be happy wives, and beloved and reseeded
mothers, be real, be sensest in everything ; let yoar
.einciples be trek tolerate no sham. sad the euperstrao
Ilse yea shall build therms shall he animate with
year spirit, when yea have laid dome this 140, and
takes tip renewed minima is soother world. la
marriage, who would not rather take to his heart a
maessing, think* apirit, tolerating no
sat thee of uprightbeas, having reheat faith, "wing
sympathy, and naive esefalsem, se the only weapons
for the daily crones, perplexities, sad mammies%
rather than • /ippon, idle, ignorent girl, who, mow
than help her mother to lighten her harries of sere and
nazisil. IN just the make-weight of the earth, and to
beep bar there, for this mother dine* thinks, "the
starry her ?"

1.