The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1882-12-12 00:00:00

WIRINGS FOR THE "TELEGRAM."

Iti.er a hurnihg qu such I. aeed on all side,
• tbl very "we y u g wau wh • bus .tarLoi t..
t e.p.to.on the omatti .1 the ant rtunet t
W..... the pre eat Led I..miuetou ha I each paindi
c' freo * el 13. tdport. waoy )ran a. 40, he wa
w.. .. Mr. Baillie (ockrane the bonoutable youth
▪a. teeented to ain each mine term. N
rt.., you know) is intro Mai as the Ho,,
C am asked why tbe cart I. place
et oe ifle tow.w,anti whether the caudhla.• is a n.tural
An a I pied am, of the 11141t..ilieeht lord ?
Ins g... 1 it quiver., 1 caoshot tell. but respecttuby refer
)"c t. n....1e oh d, an.. jib- lather —• 'went
.30 ...W.' you that the Can 11.1. t., has got a f.th.o
!I c .no .t ted—g . to my lord—there :-
a th n.t like eettiug thew Wogs trom headquarters. I
.or only had it al I " ,ount are boa
• nue *chitin gee •tue.s, aud MOON have grate...
thru... n thew."

I, 3 hill: °II pr-ifri v..- of another ;testi-man i•
a TosatiMe which, to .11 11144. o • -

.6 —.V•peirlo.olY WHOM VP. jobaChlnot
1.4,41, form ol taolitiC •l sorech. The lio-xprol•
e .1•,, d Were himself tie M g
t s 1; at .6. out col Mae held, amby dec- ire. 111 -
; I .t t are the rimet to blame who base
lw .1: •t the I.lrd Pll/11, a ol waurea him, with awur-
an, the tu ridicul aid. that he must be rimmed
U.etiV,el.l,4l4l.lpott.

It may he conaiderad a ~.r uc-ful trait in the conduct
01.111 In deuce I T..t y ••ii .hourab.e,"
I t ..In the a run atrihga, •t 61 d• up at • palitivai
11,,I11..: at .1 att. mi I. I. Cr I tller the acti..n of tte.
1.11,r .1 .I.lthinia• ration. It may 11-• a gracetu act, b.t
I tad t • a., it. Flom a ur.te pro: Mad ihdividual such
cuiticomi oil. ht I, .ve had euulno weight—but it matter.
little. t,-i.retty N. wh hada new little a one,- c.rrectlN
outilitt 1 t.• Metway, an the Tory friend. preeelll
hal the nellle bat to put auy tilleath,olll to Imo
at the eu,ee of the opeech, AS the .1 um lellow'm
ihd.mited that h • could not hive uttered
as.dhar e,,1 ia.youd Ma mere dyne I speech, had the
er alth of the la .iev, or a 'vat 10th. Houle, depeudial
eu it.

Coclerane—or. to epeak correctly. Lord Laming-
. ,
at ,s4an auterestlil itelletattal, and as "
Ilele as le- proved himself to be when be steUre •
h Pula eslierionces ot Brian .rt nese.y bait ..
tertury Tb Who remember Mr. C
a: dist ti,,,e—sssal there are a few whq o:ll—ssy that
31r. atal Ltd La sin,toll are precisely th
Awe iou 1u..; 14,y ',ars ad.. he knee how t
Wra un Ile leering. it tier burgesses ; 1112 e thw•
as.. h.. vs-lc-4 • .irnil ir •• ito lite" eotnew..a
egret -fit • v lit as WI. ton's supporter* are 0..•
!suss Th.. (whet ni the yntlt g aepirant had aena
ei...u.h t know th r• a• s peer . f toe real., he ha.
rigut to interfere in pro..ncial politic-. • . he eAtteuted
" 4.1n4 the sympathetic " Even the
Levu, f t e Troy paler. were t..ucheill by the very
at. c -;,oh ..1 a sery new lord, who. oc asionally
r.. riii se forth • I.riny tear, rcalled hr mind
tie to Ltd he nsel a set y wane relative drowned
• hit intimately blq,lailtiott with and eilla
✓elate.; t. acen,, of the bluest inn noblest blond; that
the men of litidport were noble 100 ; &het tre weir ..nee
toetuber fur lirlibrort, and he eboult expect them to
'return his von a member ? What deafening cheer.
trues arinounastnents raised from wane of the Con-
servative things, whilet many of the wiser one,
woodere,i what there was t . cheer about. But what
did it muter, for, long am a cheer could br raised,
wh. reed I 'lcily that there bad been an " enthusiaetic
g?" besides a few cheers w..uld Merritt.
yr itk with confidence I I.ord Larniugton has gone
away. t retung at 'one future 'lay with • herter
age-. b tbAle he delivers I last week. M. w.. c .neere.l
I. tiler .ilway vaunn in an open awl airy eg,ri.ip., in
veiny reo ec• in r., Tt.ehle and livelier loins use
in which the anrthy eralletnan wait ushered Irian a
m.ddening ceoed in the 1..1e of Wight.

" I am Sir thsel-.
Aod w.. I op. ni lip. but no do; hark r
Ye• ! after a few line. of poetry, and • deal of proi
talk, he 14 whtc I 11 Il.k to the ni.teo 01.. chockdo:
with the coutictioo that " Bridisoct it as safe se a
'us..,

flow ha. Wartnn offended ? The local Tolima can't
or w at answer—indeed the very nor I " Wart .n.•
which no' . i.w .h .rt mowing .i..ca enchanted them
abo..• n•w virile. th.on Wednes .
You 11 •n.. vim il dare to breath- his Dome. S. my
ro.aft wao not very vie . I the mark, when on M.
W :1..'. Yiteti..ll I pr. ph. eied that out t..e Liberal.
hut Ow Toth • would pr vs they bad mad- fool. ..t
theur.el,es awl the town. Wto-n Mr.
it waot argued that '• Ilridport dirl not ward
a mai. Si ii ii, mey ; it ve dried a in ,n wigs opeetli-
- ! they pit Infe.•l,—..prech en..ogb
t• I ..4 itt a rl. son ra uslimatratioo•—aud yet Wartoir
ea- rad ti.. 01.11 after aI. The lw•t I. the poor
'r.ri..• we.r. "Al .1-.1, en I Iniin that poor Wart. 0
indeed, and they are now voting" Warton
a had. %V.I. ' a .rest writer once " Fools are
the game ebb:6 frads pur.u.." So the Tories want
ne riled man aft.r Ii! Th.o again. in spite of
Mr. Walton befog the most 'bedfast brewer's friend
th 4 fret free:A the Conntion... the to. al brewer ht.
I rpalten hirepeasestatlmb aid promises to support
the •• h movable" hey in his n•on. When this
happe •it Is lri.rh time—if only fr lb" oak..
lekei,de—t., stem the flood of beer and spirits at
electrons.

Toon; liaillie'e pledged adherent, are rath,r
elem.. he I a. t. loopagating the neceioary report.. 1•41
to ihr..ine of the candidate. as, eke, the e•ete.
u ade to the workinitm ames at the 1.4
I i. reos .nobly fe.red Owl the " clam." will
L.. lake them withuut • pinch f .41. Th. Toriee
ar, 111 all .A.,ed as to the fixod salmi!), hi.
al all. a+ him. Seteeeee tol I me in couldeime
a cince that it was " "vet £l2O a year." nn'l
Yr-ferdn. an individual, well venal in the Wynne.,
ry Aiooedatiote, declared that it exceeded
£_,oo; Lot with • knowing wink h. added "And
Watt. n—if you remember—had £30.000." I may
lore .tat, that the grammarian haa this time wisely
(Miami 4.1 mention of £l.OOO for the poor.

I ,!on't like to say much of the infinitely aelect
v-'inue awaiting the arrival of •• My Lord" and his
at the railway station. la I.lls not lres.nt on
""-asion. but •. I was eye-witness to the .leper.
.4 the latter fr in the '• Greyhound" on S dor-
I. bia.neng. I meat say that I no,iced but little
"thuviasot ovir the " ta,entetl youtia inan." Of
..• ,r. ba Ito he accompanied to the station by
!le relief. (why, it aortas that no move c.n sa/ely
" wade with•ut the betr•misker), a, d as they left
dt}:e hotel they were merely stared at by half-a-
ft Iffseniles, the braving of whom yelled out—.
QUE., rte."

Apropos of " Rani for ewer," the words must be
trwriNy discordant to the ears of the busy a ram-
=Mao. On the evening of the Tory speeches •
crowd of boys serenadad the Greyhound with—
" Vol. I Vera Vol. for Mr. Kali,
Tarn old Cockroach out of •Aro."

It was too shocking to bq borne. The tall man
rushed madly at one of the boys, who, to the 'dad, a.
tion of the crowd, dodged bow roust the corner, tee said
corner greeting our tail friend ao affectionately that he
fell, m-aaure t his length ou the pavement. his slouch
hat roiling far out of reach, and the small boys Raffl-
ing round him meanwhi.e.

Wonted youn„i Ingo," gentlemen ! The
candidate looked miserably nervous ; the Tones could
not resist a hearty laugh at suet) an astonishing
announcement, and the Liberals followed snit. "Be-
longs toe good fsmily," gentlemen ; yet wore roars,
in wh.ch the great man did not j In. and the .on
edged a trifle nearer his mother rho speaker of these
eul.eristic sentitneuts wiw expected every worneut t
floe property, geotleme., ; right in the eye of
the sun I tart him at £1,000; any advance

PRIVATE THEATRICALS.—A NEW AND NOVEL
'MAMA ENTIILED POLITICAL DIPLOMACY.
It, inc Azt ;by Dm auto.... of Lim Mmie Saud Box,'
" rue Imams Heaves" and otber ttk Vino 110•ei1let.
No. to Mearml : Ant .111 yr mmily be produced in
Loudon during thl ptes ill vacation.
CHARACTERS
Mr. Tiekelur Thermion : Lnd Somoingtoo, and the
II in. Coekro too Daly.
:mono Small, but comort this sportment in Claphant•
Table and three Cltelte. ceutre ; 11. eaumter
rePluts t. a &id01...26:4, Tuwmton discovered seated.
(Eottir Small Pig..)
Ng• (announiug/ : " tn. honontble Cockrans P-P•
Palm, and L .rd Shaepawtou r
Iteration Own, in el.rml: '' Whit I you shadow el
aroduthriatmlrh....vedthkeyiriunisotivin
ttl:e.tutrim I Go
icu On tmad brut sly
buttons.
(Rut Page.
But I roust estopose myself ! Ah ! they coins I'
Eater L S. : Followed elm. ly by the Ron. C. I).
bard S. • 004 morning; air—l have the honour to
.44.... M.. ThWerton, 1 usliture I Allow me, sir, to mint-
duce my son F'
few...ton * • "Vu, dotter ine,my lord Glad to me you,
young man. Hole • your Ma I Wool you be seated r
H 4i. C. D. : •' ml,, tu..mmak )04 I •
riteteriola : " )161 I atlt. my lota. to 1111111 t I am in-
tel... d tor use honour oe ti. omit I"
Lit S. (oltdes: ' T It mu, hi ovtroae I out with it I
Wool ou moth .re you guts ring 6,04 t 1 (aloud) esek.
my sou, watt:tom.. tnat.ers, my dear Sir.'
.ou. Ll. (tretuun.s.y) : " Ine lammt is, Mr,
Memnon, 1•I•1--
Theartou ( Sr mat c ally : "Will you t•s•ake a glass ol
/ (muds.) I t6ust nell reluse lor
mall Iktre to .. t to the t Otero doe. the filett lank
ItUttooll eauuutyet li. oreeeu
. table,-
Hun C. D. : ' roan, you. toy good sir;
Tawas ton dumdum soutl.'oi): rh la 111 tbu Join me,
ow I A much ii avtoor.uno- bittuds ru.toudr).
liou. C. I). "1 am obboed—but I'd rm.-4.l"er not, I
s.ouhl sats..-ese. I w.arsdno to ..y, sir, that Pa's objec,,
md mine la calling lit, ern at s dne a•ani cool*
went COOl4l be arrived at stint rodent to Brigports. You
MO We've been dam
Thwarkm: Oa yes! I Imo, all rib rut it. I rtosived
copy of toe Briiport rekgrain • Get moronism acne, an
if Med You 1101 • Welly • C 0.., p t 0.,, mid (fear. 111 kteettile)
a .w, us.ste tne, yousiskter. I 14. ky be a" pohtt.cd babe,'
est by say brow mad blnetim, 111 to .kt it hot ice Mow
&Moon' woes Deli yet. Yogi LIMY will Shire, WY 11`.01
Or, but by Proe.dur... sod all bbbbb da oily sins, I suall
nave you on tlte lap I 11.0 done you, otr, and you, no
WI, to timpani on ass atlett one 01 my people—my
U sov.d people, and LIOW oleZe you ItOlt to
"Build Is. It to in hut den.
Tue Tnetaltto in him bali.''
I majors you, round (Jo kr .ecti, Bin, away ambition; by
4.1 'llt let, I etoill it Li' y tut who—
LndS. : "1 pros you, monster yourself, sir. YOU haw.
.ot let Uthltd—..
Tuwaton: "Sir, I have beatd euonoh I Woore'. the
...word that wool,* tit,* to nett& kor smelt . taut—but b
my amuse.. rue lec.i.tois, u.y led: lb. .1 cto s rw,Brto-
o o 411 hame duskd mane leee—ut in •—duped th up
aod not Use. I ..11•• may adumer• taors-1
• lb it ...Own to tomtit tuvten(at, UtioW Raped upon t 0.,,
C., an ••••(•01,41 elteoUe ))
Lot. S : 'itw,uhi mu. besot, I assure you; besides,
ou.y yoo g 4 kV lletUd 0 s hes down:el you, and
01,101 h • mi. prt y..uo o k .4412 bele."
ilium ton ('tot in. Iteum): "By Wave., you lid,
41i. By my b tod•ua, you *emu we
L S. :. ' I ,lo not.'
la wertou : "Forgotten by the =shiner I Tiara farewell,
s mos I .retralr, all my iitrodosetts—(to sane; Wreath then
hr ortm..tr.„ 'On. my I Ile, be Mout...) Curses, not
o .d, bit dem" I etlsl simmlL daseess, but use non.; ye.,
a tier would I be a dog, mid boy at tn. UlO4ll, thm such
in arrant rmward—s telt a demner. I—l woo 44•0 rep,.-
muted browtts Intsrests in Me Met f svi.heriug scOru,
with ~tire as my WeeloCel. it kel &eel led. ant by tdm, too,
loin, hour Vol tt.umpb I. to. much. Hoid We, in) lora ;
Cents my quavering 11411fite. U.ekreaett—l die, I the r
(Surieas modiy.)
lion. D. D. lis alarm): "Stir yours.lf ; bo calm, and
limos t f•&4011. Our prop wal s•on, sir, rr.un.
we silt utak. yodels ..net adequate t the honorarium you
ricotta tor your rtprestatation to. Hoot.;
sssiguses We ritcure a bje-tleCtion—ure hind. (Ps and
• taint bops on lima • mote, but, if you nMase.oar macaws
tt . "general" 14 hopeless in kitd."
row.rt (revimutil:"Al,' I oadmstatid. Gum* to-
111.rfore. C ykrowk. Guam to-morrow, my lord. To-kty
.ite Derr. ere auricled awl Uttar 11114. roottiontow we wilt
a,. watt eta b. klOUtl. Aud waft leave utaun lone se
on, • 0 &owl 141130 and Impotent couclurnon. It oin upon
Ulla: 1..0e on rout Co.oll.ll4ll—WOret.
(Heal drops on trible.)
(Eat Cockroach and L rd S. in blob glov.
Orchestra: "U., door w .41 CA4 tne motter bar
Confute.
•
Luaus Libris.