The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1864-11-22 00:00:00

PORTLAND AND THE PI:MIL A NDER4
STRANGERS : THE LAM : A MI ALL
TEA PA RTY : AN ANGEL AND A VMS&

Top o' the Ilia, Portland.
MAR DICE- Fonglre toe for not writing sootier.
If you do not ounsider that a sullicieet apology, you
may go to litlbrigitan. I have an indistinct recollec-
tion of having promised to write to you about what
Portland was like ; and now, entre nous, here you
are. Well,then,this Portland.as a cockney would my,
is,according to "Constable," ap island; but he made
a small bit of a iniatake; for, although there is water
enough around the istaied.yet there Ins pebble ridge
called Chesil Bank, on which one can walk from
Portland proper to Jericho if he is in the humour.
I need say ni.thing about the stone quarried here, as
every one, from Pontius Pilate down to the present
Premise, is aware that Westminster Abbey, St.
Paul'a,the new barracks at Alderabott,and a hundred
other 'Algoma are built with it. The Portlanders
are a tidyl smock-frocked, industrious, not-to-be-
Ilneerecl-M., Dort of people, with almost oriental
manners and customs, and having as great an antipathy
to strangers an if each were • Japanese demi° in
his own right. Hence it is, I suppose, that every
new arrival has to take out his diploma through the
ordeal of aryammitent and if he • shim
fight," the Wand (?) in twenty-four bourn becomes
too hot for ; if, on the other hand, he is of a
pugnacious temperament, and takes a blow coolly, re-
turning it warmly, he is accounted • good 'on, and
takes bin place in the ranks of artisans, or labourers,
with ea mach cheek as if he lived hers all his life-
time. The ladies-the darlings-ere at far as lam
a judge-you know I am no mean one-Ismatiful ;
yes, I say it esophatiaally, beautiful, lovely, be-
witching, heart-breaking. They, as a general rule,
have been served out with fine, hottest, ipso
nanoes, steeple-foreheads ; ores as beerit&legly blue
as the water that surround* these; cheeks (although
the weather is cold) with the roses chasing each
other about, noses like the ancient Greek,; and the
Iduckieat little pouting mouths, the most pearly teeth,
the loveliest vermillion lips, and the most exquisite
dimpled chine I ever beheld. They dress as do the
beau monde ; are acing to every new wrinkle given
in " Le Follett ;" and 'tis one comfort, at any rate,
that no matter in what society you may mix,
maitrais home is esehetted. (Jo to • soirie-ask •
young lady to take a glass of wine with you, to be
sure ; to dance a cutillion, certainly ; to sing, imme-
diately ; and in one word and a half I fancied I woe
soineelmrs else than iu England the first evening I
spent in Portland. Ali! I was near forgetting. At
• small bit of a tidy tea-party I met with an angel)
(Now, Dick, don't laugh like a dear fellow!) I did.
I spoke to her; I danced with ; I smiled upon
her; I pull'd out my twenty.sovereign • &noon' at
least a dozen times in ea many minutes! I hem'd ;
I bawd ; I coughed • I frowned ; I spun yarn._
every iagatelle I could think of-I Immune morose
and amiable by turns; I wan tinil aa a mile.
stoos now ; anon as communicative as Sir Boyle
Roche • listened to the " Groves of Blarney" by
an " Emerald twig"-to which, by tbe way,
be did ample justice - sang an impress/4n
stave niverlf ; an! ui,l all and evi rything in my
power to conciliate ibis "fairest of the fair." As
you know that lam an " adept at yervilication," am
poor Byron lariats when he wanted the einohintents
of Poet !Aureate, I fancy 'teen better than tell
you about it to give you the verse. The "air" is •
beautiful one! " Ceilleen Nlarourneen."
06 ! Kate, darling Eat,', why when first I beheld yea.
Uhl,. le eve, staidly throb less i• lore at first sight?
Or why did I try to tint one who esielled you
On inemory's table.s leite I ly delight!
Ah! esis sob- V. seuet, 110 tare did I seer
Behold with such ..wsyoneris, sash it',.elnr.ss thins,
And I ne. tUy yoeed that never. Oh! Beyer !
Snould I reggae CoOkit.l.llBlt until jog were mine.
This effusion passed on brilliantly. I was the Noe
01 the evening, one said. I was Cowpeeresuscitated
another. That! was Alfred Tennyeoe 'Rev ; butes I
intend to write to you weekly, you will eerily
remember that I mu, yours always,
PHIL FOGAP-
To Dick Drowsy, Weymouth, Dorset,
14th November, 1b64.