The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1871-03-28 00:00:00

SMIFF AT MONTMARTRE.

THE HEIGHTS Or MONTYLITIS,
BUM THE 8.1.171.1.
Mi putt Sie,---1 do not think the war-horae in
"Job" ever had a keener *mum of smell for hotly than
I have. Like thet wonderful qieulruldid, 1 have a
faculty for saying " El., wronerei I hear el rho
chance of • tight ' • and, what is more, of peeking up icy
" Gladetono beg, and bushing off to the scene of
actien. Al you know. for months 1 followe.t the
fortunes of the contending hosts in the late war, awl
only yielded to the seduotive induonc,s of Mrs. rniff
arid domesticity, when my iron frame had well-nigh
succumbed to the rigours of the campaign,
But I soon tired of • life of inglorious ease. No
honours won in 1110 wordy wars of a parish e.etry, or
wounds received in a contested eleeti rn for the Clapham
School Board, could satisfy me. In vain I ire d to
quiet my restless mind by bivouacking on edit nights in
my back garden, and making raids on a neighbouring
hemrooet. My lendable endeavours to parody the
incidents of active iervioe, produced noting but
rheumatism and actions-at-law. I wed a 'sinew. d,
sleet on a tent-be ',teal, &auk " gee', .iver a. heat
• .1112111 in the in attin.r. to wake up the servaate, awl
blew a bugle at night-fall, till I wee indicted for a
nuisance; but all to vain. It was not enough. Like
the Minstrel Boy, ie the song,l longed to bang the in-
expressible* of the civilian on the tronscrs-tree, end tobe
off to the wars again.
Just at this eriais—when I thought seriously of eff r-
ing my servioes to the sable Jo-dc, or of leaking the
figtiting which, bedeve, is always going on to some parts
of South America—Paris fell, and peaco soon after fol-
lowed. What followed, yea know as well as I do.
The citizen .oldie' of Paris resolved on retaining their
arms. They had cannon and mitraillcusei, and they
would keep them. And thereupon they withdrew to
Montrouge, and La Vallette, and Belleville, and prepared
to defend these aristocratic quarters to the last. Al a
citizen myself, and as • ratepayer of an oppressed suburb,
my heart leaped towards these brave men. I imme-
diately mule up my mind to go to their help ; and,
having insured my life in the" Aosidentel," and cont.
mended my wife and children to your care, in a letter
which you will get ill fall, go I did,
Here I am, then, once more, in the atmosphere I
longed to breath. My reception was moat enthusiastic
No soener was it known that Phlander Small had
arrived in the Republican camp, than the order,
"Stand at ease," was passed on in vernacular French,
and we adjourned, by sections of companies. to the
neighbouruag wine-shops, to drink to the happy meeting.
rrs result was. that I was not up to much that evening.
Ibis next morning I was made full corpora of artillery,
sod at ones placed on guard. It is a rather mono-
treous occupation. But the feeling that lam assisting
Ins, great movement makes me patient. My uniform
is int nice. The blouse doesn's fit, the kepi is many
'ices too big for me • the musket is very heavy. But
what,( I Aria
? A not maintaining the Republic),
keeping up the supremacy of the National
Guard, tad trying to exact perpetual pay of thirty
sous • der ? So I pace up and down by my guise. and
try to laok as if my boots did not hurt me fearfully.
lam off guard now for two ho nri• Fur Ike ark. of
effect, pies** imagine it, writing this by the light of •
lanthorn on a drumhead ; DA it happens, it is by the
illumination of a rusbliebt on • barrel ; but, never
mind. I feel intenaely warlike ' • but, the worst of it is,
I don't think there is flinch chance of a shindy. I
believe lots of my ciorpalent comrades rejoice in this
fast. I must coulee that, sines General il' Amiens' de
Paladins arrived, our ranks have been very
thinned. An idea has got abroad that he means bog-
nee ; and not even • chance of thirty sons a day for
ever is sufacieut to make some of our civic heroes risk
Yesterday, too, we had another severe diminution of
our numbers, caused by an assault in fore, by the wives
of the married men whore we nunde:red amongst us. I
was on duty at the time, and I must own that I felt
not a little centurion and fear when I saw the female
phalanx climbing the heights. A momentary conside-
ration assured me that Mrs., &miff could not possibly
be among the number, and I breathed more freely ;but
still 1 felt inclined to turn, and run from the advane-
hug Amason'. But, on they came, and, in another
minute, were swarmiug amongst the tents. I was
hardly prepared for the general alacrity with which the
imsbaeda concocted to return home with their spouses.
I suppose they considered it a choice of evilm Talk
and huger-nails are not fatal ; bullets awl bayonet.
thrusts are. So they went off to their doineetic
hearths.
I think I ought to have laron made something more
thee eorporel. I didn't expect I s'muld have to walk
up and down by a lot of cannon every night, while the
staid-officers were carousing at the wine-shop, sail gain.
hung on the pevement. But, the fact is, we all of us
want to be talkers, We ell fancy we VI, re born to
Mainland. I shan't steed it iinch loner, though. If I
knew how to do it, 1 would my battery, and
hand them over to the authorities. They would be
bound to make me a 61as-liententuf,
All in at the very least.
y geerd—al a corporil, I have three wen and a
alder me—sire wth 111 e, and rho rash
Ittpublicois of Belleville liad bettar beware hew they
tilde with a paramount claim of a oisinopolitan celebrity
like myself.
I often wonder. as I pre, on my weary and
ezeructating way, whit we shoal,' du were They to
attack us. Al far as lean tell, by putting my arm tutu
faw UlUiLtel 04•10 a ender my care, they are not
l oaded. I am sure, if they are not, no one here knows
how to toed them. It is very perplexing with these
breeehloselers to know what to put in first, particularly
when the enemy Is charting -you. I never troubled
myself with such petty details • and I shan't begin now.
I only hope the amault on iontinertre will not be
made while lam the corporal on duty. I never wish
to die on the hattledield, unless it be • Brigadier
-
General, or a Lientenstit-Colonel—any fellow, pretty
nearly, can die es • corio,ral. I have rent in a.protett,
and shall resign, unles, I vet a staff appointment meow
1 un summoned by a beastly bugle t, keep guard
amain. I mentally said, Blow the bugle 1" but On
reflection, decided that was not • wise secctroFhe to
make, so I withdrew it.
Tat NI'S MORNING, lIIIRAFINAST BIVOUAC.
I ahoold have told you I left Clapham secretly. Mrs.
Sea thought I was going Loth* Vestry Halls e•••• 1146
sae begged ree—blaea her heart l—not to belate for
dinner, as it wee my t•IOULII• Ini4t pork gad &FPI.