The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1883-06-09 00:00:00

FATAL FALL FROM A BRIDGE.

A fatal accident occurred last Saturday afternoon
at Shirmars-bridge, about nine miles from Castle
Douglas. Mr. Joseph MlVilliam left town by train
at three p.m. and alighted at Parton Station to pro-
coed t,9 a friend's house at Irontnacannie Mill. The
day was warm, and it is conjectured that he at
down on the side of the bridge a,Ad ombalanced him-
self, falling on the Atones in the burn and injuring his
head so severely that he never rallied. The deceased
leaves a widow and family.

CUTTINGS Fnom AMERICAN PAPERS.
"Always Save a Kiss for Mamma" is the title of
the latest song, In the case of papa, however, it
would perhaps be better to save a couple of ham sand-
wiches and a bottle of beer,
A sovep-yesr•older, with the punster's mark on his
brow, at dinner, asked hio inoter 17/130 was ip a jar
on the table. "Pickles, my son," was the reply,
"Then, mamma, please pickle little one out for me,"
came with stunning force from the child, and the
mother fell over the chair and fainted,

" Sag, Jim," ezclaimed one young American t
another, "when we grows up don leu be pirates, but
les join the rainstrels, an' have our pictures took life
size.

Why don't you eat like you do at home ? " said the
rural bridegroom to his bride it the table d'hAte, as she
nibbled this and tasted that in her embarrassment ;
"them folks over there don't pay no more'n we do, and
you are a goose to be afraid.'?

A gentleman was talking to the owner ola ferocious
bull-dog, and asked him the question: 'Do you think
your dog would become fond cf a stranger?" "Yes,"
replied the dog fancier, "if he was raw, but he wouldn't
if the straogor was cooked."
"Woman's rights!" exclaimed a Philadelphia map
when the subject was broached "What more rights
do they want? My wife bosses me; our daughters
boss us both, and the servant girl bosses the whi)le
family. It's time the men were allowed some
rights I"

The edifice in which the coloured church in Austin,
Ark., worshipped, having recently been invaded by a
flood, the minister established himself on the house-
top and his audience attended in skiffs. By this
arrangement the regnisite tke-yawl•ogy was adminis-
tered to the floating population of Austin.
" Oh, dear;" exclaimed little Ella to her doll, "I do
wish you would sit still. I never saw such an uneasy
thing in my life. Why don't you act like grown people
and be still and stupid for awhile."
At a young ladies institute in America the pupils are
put through a domertic course, somewhat in this
style ;—" Would you prefer an iron to an earthen pot
on your kitchen stove ? " "now would you expend
two dollars if you had a rick husband and six children
too young to work ? " "How would you make bread?"
One of the classes recently unanimously answered,
"With flour and yeast."
A Cincinnati clergyman was once forced to say to 4
congregation that persisted in depositing buttons In
the contribution box :—" Brethren who wish to con-
tribute buttons will please not hammer down the eyes,
for while that process does not increase their valu3 as
Goin it does impair their usefulness as buttons,"

A telegram from Berne states that a terrible storm
of hail broke over that town on Tuesday afternoon.