The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1871-10-21 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

Diamondg to the value of 90,000 dollarswere admired
on one woman at a recent Saratoga ball.

It is at the approach of dinner-time that we feel most
sensibly the " emptiness of things below."
A San Francisco editor thus addresses an Oakland
brother-.—' Von wallamis, you ictbyodorulite, you bogus
hammochrysk,s, sOU—y a Oaklander
A number of American married Mies have clubbed
together and =reed not to dance round dances with any
but their own husbands.

A woman at a revival meeting in Ohio said she found
her jewelry lulls dnumingherdown to a nameless place, and so
gave it all to a younger sister, who did not mind wearing it.
" When a distinguished American dies," sail a
shrewd and sarcastic ,d,server, not if Ong ago. " Ins min kiring
friends and countrymen inunetliatcly reAolve to build him a
magnificent monument, and then—they shalt build it:'
TRUE TO NATI'RE. —An ingenious American toy fo
children is a small steamer, which esplisles by machinery
scattering the passengers in every direction.

• - ••
A Man .I.nt—Elder Knapp, the great revivalist
of religion down in Arkansas, Is hen about to baptise a new
convert, called .lit iii a 1.4111 VOice• Does any one know any
reason why this man should tint be baptised ," and to bli
sarprise a long specimen of en Arkansas traveller shouted
ill response, "See here, Mister Preacher, I don. t want to
interlere in that 'ere lotsioess d yours, but if you expect to
get the sin all out of that okl cuss you will have to anchor
hint out in the river over night."

How TO WRITE LovE-LrrrEns.—An Arnerienn
paper gives the following reply to a supposed 'correspond-
ent :—"There is no stated rule for writing love-letters.
You should write MI foolseap paper, awl bear on as soft Its
you can, rising words of such burning love that they will
Merle on the point at the pen. It is also advisable to sling
In a hunk of pathos occasionally, such as, • Dearest Augustus,
I love yon with a love larger than an elephant ; I think it
you every day, and hyawl by, when the days grow knger, I
shall think of you twice a day.' It is also well to putt an ink-
blot in the corner, with the observation, 'marling, I kissed
this spot ; ' or 'I hove a sigh In this vicinity."
THE FATE IN ST I oar. von THEM !—Some negroen
that hind mastered the Irish brogue played a trick upon a
boat-load of immigrants, who were so eager to set had on the
soil of the New World that they had left the ship before
their companions. " An' are ye just over, boys I. said a jet
ldwic African, in the richest possible brogue awl with the
warmest interest as he bent over the wharf, where he and
his contraries were working. The strangers regarded him
with a look of mingled astonishment and terror, while one
of them found breath to inquire, "Air' how is it that yore
black t" "It's the Ordinate, boys, it's all lii the climate,"
was the answer. "Ak, how Inc dbl It take." sold the
anxious spokesman, "to Blake you this colour F' " Three
years, an' niver a bit longer." " Thin, beda.l, boys," Fold
the Paddy to Ins countryman " bedad, boys, let's go
back : it's too soon to Is, devils entirely." They preferred
restraining, notwithataakiing the clutriu tit being early devil&

A FEW PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS.
On Mr. Fulton's proposition for a bridge across the
Channel, a gentleman writes to The Times
.4 prop°, it the proposed road across the Straits of Darer,
Imagine 3 ship miming for the Downs in a heavy sea and
a heavier gale of wind front the south-west, sa under close-
reefed topsails or perhaps bare poles it suppose her " hose-
to" with a flood tide under tier, causing her to make con-
siderable " lee way add to this difficulty a dark night iu
winter, with a hurricane of rain or sleet, so as to render the
seeingthe length of the vessel, or one-half thereof, an utter
impossibility, how in the wrl.l would her navigates be site
steer for the proposed ape as in the roadway, and get
" tifionzh with facility ;" and of what avail would be steam-
toga is such a case?

Tugs do hot usually lie eilt at sea to look atter jolts in
hurricanes. simply because it II Mud not pay to have them so
knocked to PiCeVA.
11:It stonier either would attempt such openings outer
such • ircuimtantas r

What would become f the ship and the bridge? Why
both would. in all prebability, ome to grief ; the shipwould
drift against the bridge, the former would tO her masts,
capsize, awl go down, and the bridge sould be damaged, per-
haps partially 4!r6t0.y,..1 aol last, though not least, what
would be the fate Id the unfortunate clew?

It happens occasionally that, °win to adverse winds, 3,10
or 4uO ~ail of ships collect in the Downs, and on the first
favourable change they all start together, and not unfre-
quently are again driven back bi their oil anchorage. How
would Mr. Fulton provide for such an emergency? Why his
bridge must be all opening,
It Is quite clear that this gentleman Las never given his
proposition sniticiont consideration.