The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1884-12-27 00:00:00

CUTTINGS PROM AMERICAN PAPERS,

A. Mormon elder has taken an annual bridal trip
for the past five years, each time with a separate
bride.

"I th:nk it's outrageous," said Mrs. Sparrowgrass,
"Here it says in the paper that St. John has been
nominated for President. It's bad enough making
fun of live people, but when they begin Jugging in the
apostles, it certainly is too much."
The use of the editorial "we " still largely prevails
in the south, as will be seen from a remark in a Ten-
nessee paper: "If we escape the hog cholera this
season, there will be a large surplus of pork this
winter.' Pray what is the avoirdupois of the editor.
Amateur farmer (showing pet Jersey bull to a
friend from the city, who obstinately persists on stay-
ing on the other side of the fence) : "He's perfectly
gentle, George.' See him come to me when I call
him." Friend from city: "0, yes, he does that all
right for me, too; the trouble is he doesn't mind when
I tell him to go away."
"Did you read those horrible stories of the Arctic
sufferers living off of each other?" asked Mrs.
Lumply”of her husband, "Yes, I read all the par-
ticulars. "Dreadful, isn't it ?" "Oh, it's nothing
when you once get used to having people live off you.
I used to kick when your mother, and your sister,
and all the rest of them came to live off of me, but I
have got so used to it now that I never complain."
A Dakota editor advertises money to loan. Some-
body has paid him a month's subscription, and he is
putting on airs.
"What is the big corner in pork I hear about ?"
asked Laura wross the cheery tea table. "The big
corner in pork," replied Tom, "is the ham."
The girl with soft grey eyes and rippling brown
hair, who walked all over your poor fluttering heart
at the charity ball, has just finished a crazy quilt
containing 1064 pieces of neck-ties and hat-linings, put
together with 21.390 stitches. And her poor old
father fastens on his suspenders with a long nail, a
piece of twine, a sharp stick, and one regularly
ordained button. . . _

When aTielegraph dispatch states that during a
cyclone tombs'.ones were carried out of a cemetery
across the street by the wind, we don't know which
astonishes us the most the strength of the wind or
the lying ability of the man who sent the dispatch.
It appears, however, that none of the coffins were
blown out of the graves. -

Jones: "See -here, Smith, I don't like to hurry
you away from the boys, but you are a married man,
and I am afraid you will have trouble if you stay with
us any later. It is nearly midnight." Smith: "Oh,
don't worry about me, I'm all right." "But you said
Mrs. S., nearly took the roof off when you got home
after midnight." "Yes, but there is my danger this
evening." "Won't she be awake ? " "Oh, she will
be wide awake enough, but my eldest daughter had
her beau with her this ()ironing." 'What difference
can that make? " "A very big difference. She will
have all the clocks two hours slow."
A certain Israelite has his dwelling and place of
business in the same house, which is quite a small
one. There were several customers in the store, 'when
his wife, who is a very affectionate oreature, called
out from the next room: "Oh, Schon, my dear
Schon, come to dinner I A shade of rage passed
ever his Hebraic features, and going to where she was,
he seized her brutally by the arm, and with a
maiignant voice hoarse with annoyance, said:
"Rebecca, does you vant to ruin me in my pishness ?
What for you call me dear Schon yen I vants to be
known as cheap &lion ? Do you vant to have dot
peoples lose confidence in me ? "

R.R4MW

FIITITRE 'POLICY OF THE DISESTAB
LISHMENT MOVEMENT.

The following circular has been issued by the
Society for the Liberation of Religion from State
patronage and control:
"2, Serjeants'-inn, Fleet-street, E.E.,
December, 1884.
"DEAR SIR,—In sending you the subjoined reso-
lutions, which have been adopted by the Society's
Executive Committee, I am desired to submit for your
consideration the following facts and suggestions: 1.
The next general election will take place under condi-
tions which will render it the most important which
has occurred for a lengthened period; inasmuch as the
passing of the Franchise Act, the Redistribution of
Seats Act, and the Corrupt Practices Act will, it may
be expected, increase the political power of that large
portion of the community in which the strength of
the disestablishment movement mainly lies. It will,
therefore, be possible to adopt with a hope of success
a bold and decisive electoral policy in many places in
-which formerly it would have been altogether im-
practicable, and more especially in the new county
constituencies. 2. While educational work among
electors should be carried on with increased vigour,
the society's supporters should promptly exert their
influence to secure the selection of candidates holding
their views, and able to advocate them with effect; or
failing such candidates, to obtain such concessions
from others as they are entitled to demand as a con-
dition of their support. It will often be easy to
secure at the first electoral stage what may
afterwards be difficult of attainment. 3. It should
be remembered that at the last general election
the advocates of disestablishment refrained from
pressing the question, lest it should interfere with the
success of the Liberal party; and that during the
existence of the present Parliament they have
abstained from independent action calculated to
embarrass the Government. The same reasons for
maintaining such a policy cannot now be properly,
urged. Other political questions of pressing import-
ance having been dealt with, the way is clear for
dealing with the Church question, in regard to which
public opinion is fast ripening. If the present oppor-
tunity be lost, we may have to wait long for another
equally favourable. 4. It has always been the
policy of Liberationists to act as far as possible with
the Liberal Party, and it should be their policy still.
Therefore, separate action for the purpose now in
view will, in most cases, be less effective than efforts
to work through the various Liberal organisations.
Those who constitute 'the backbone of the Liberal
party,' and do a large share of the work of such or-
ganisations, are entitled to urge that a great reform
to which they attach supreme importance should now
form a conspicuous part of the Liberal programme of
the future. We shall be glad to receive from you
snggestions calculated to further the object of the re-
F oluti on s and of this circular, as well as information rela-
tive to action in your own locality. On behalf of the
Executive Committee, I am, yours faithfully,
"HENRY R. ELLINGTON, Chairman."
Resolutions of the Executive Committee: 1.
flaying regard to the fact that the bill for the exten-
sion of the Parliamentary franchise in the counties
has now become law, and that the bill for the re-
distribution of Parliamentary seats will probably be
passed in the coming year, the committee are of
opinion that the time has arrived when the question
of disestablishment may be resolutely pressed upon
Parliament, upon the constituencies, and upon the
country at large, as one which demands early
legislative settlement. 2. They are further
of opinion that, as early in 1886 the enfranchised
classes and the new and altered constituencies
will be called upon to exercise their electoral
rights, energetic measures should be immediately
adopted by the advocates of religious equality for
securing, in every case in which it may be practicable,
the choice, and the return, of candidates favourable
to their aims. 3. The committee will themselves
forthwith take steps for giving effect tA., the foregoing
resolutions by action both in Parliament ani in the
constituencies, and they urge their supporters
throughout the kingdom to consider without delay
how they may best advance the movement in their
several localities.