The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1876-01-18 00:00:00

TO THE ELECTORS OF THE COUNTY OF
DORSET.

To the Editor.
Grenthtite , Her bloat Gracious Majesty the
queen having raised your late esteemed member
Uerard Sturt, Esq., to the di4nity of a peer of the'
Realm, his seat as your representative in Parliament
has thus become vacant, and I therefore beg to offer
myself to you as a candidate for your suffrages for
that most honourable and eligible post.
My family must be well known to you all, holdinz,
as they have done, public_posts even before the Flood,
and I flatter myself that I am closely connected with
every Peer of the Realm, and Member of the
Commons. As I have at different times contested
every (smutty and borough in the United Kingdom,
you must be aware that in politics I am • Liberal.
Conservative-Radical-Republican, and you will, I
apprehend, give me credit for always having been
consistent.

i'S-I;;lii—not, however, if you do me the honour of
electing me as your member, confine myself strictly
within such a limited sphere of politics, but shall
reserve to myself the right to exercise my own judg.
ment on any measures (but short measure) which I pay
consider likely injuriously to affect the interests of my
relations. "1 would cordially support" any scheme
which would tend to alleviate the burdens of Local
Taxation, strongly advocating myself a system by
which all taxes should be gradually but ultimately
entirely abolished, and the amount which has been
already paid in local taxes refunded to the Rate-
payers.
I shall oppose any measure that may have for its
object the " further endowment of chapels or churches,
or any scheme of secular education," believing, as I do,
that by educating the masses we directly conduce to
the cnme of forgery.
The Burial Bill question, so much agitated by Mr.
Saucepan Morgan, being so grave a subject, is not one
which ought to be discussed at this gay ant festive
season; but I have no hesitation in saying that I ..h4
support any bill which may have for its objert the
more expeditious interment of old rich relative, sod
mothers-in-law. . . .

" I have always been of opinion that the honour sad
interest of our country are best served by our Army,
Navy, Reserved Forces," and Horse Nlarineo ; but
shall oppose any measure which may be brought forward
for the purpose of recruiting our Army by vOuutory
conscription, or for drafting infante into the itifostry;
al I also shall the appointment of washerwomeu tl
command of our iron.tubs.

With regard to the Game Laws, I cannot but think
they are capable of being amended to the satisfaction
of all, and for that purpose I would strenoudy sup-
port a Bill by which the present exorbitant priee of
partridges could be reduced, and pheasants and hares
brought to the tables of the honest poor, (if there are
any). I consider it the duty of the Imperial Parlia-
ment to provide, at the expense of the State, public
preserves, wherein'at a nominal sum the poor spite.
man, now known as "the poacher," could indulge in
his favourite pastime; and should I have the honour
of becoming your member I shall consider it my duty
to press the matter on the consideration of Parliament
"I have always been an advocate of the principles
laid down in the Agricultural Holdings Aet," but I
should be strongly In favour I,f some further Bill
being brought forward by which turnips and Inangel
wuz4re could be grown as !aro as cider casks, and
the fields could be set on end and tilled on both sides.
Believing, as I do, that the Farmers are an ildused
and unfortunate class of men, I woul,l pled;e myself,
conditionally on my obtaining their support, to bring
,in a Bill before the very next Parliament, having for
' its object the construction of a monster barometer by
which the seasons, and, especially the weather, may
be duly regulated, as I am of opinion that the late
bad harvest, and (li4aAtroue floods are mainly owing to
the late Liberal Government not having taken the
matter in hand.

Should i,—th-nnt4ll your kind support, obtain the
object of my ambition. I shall endeavour to advocate,
to the best of my ability (which I can assure you is of
no mean order), the passage through Parliament of
any measures for the abolition of the Income Tax and
Malt Tax, as also the Tax upon Tobacco and Snuff,
and all others which by their homogenousness, irra-
tionality, and conglomenttionness, and general want
of reciprocity. may tent to the propagandism of to
much conglutinative prolixity, which is deprecatory to
the dtpufication and immutability of this vast
Empire, on which the sun never sets, and the peram.
bulations of the tax gatherer never cease.
I have the honour to be, Gentlemen,
Your faithful Friend,
TIMOTHY HUMBUG.
Hypocrite Hall, Sycophant Park.
From Shcrlo,r.c Joternol.

A IlErritto MAN 13110T.—Ort Wednesday evening, shout
ten o'clock George Underhill, a gentleman of independent
means, living in Avenue road, Ilirminghaiu, shot a betting
man named Parke, in Stevenson-place, in that town.
Underhill wu very drunk. Ile was arrested with the pistol
in his possession, three chatuherd of which were loaded.
The injured man was taken to the hospitil, where he
has since died. Underhill seemed quite unconscious
of
_what he had done.

WRETCHED DF.TU OF A 3114 ER. —At Tiddenham, near
Chepstow, the dividsional coroner for Gloucestershire has
held an inquest on the body of Edmund Trotman„ who,
with his brother Lewis, was the owner and occupier of
The Hoe, a dwelling without windows, and with nine
acres of land. The dwelling had long been barricaded with
a high wall, and the rooms were supported by upwards of
50 props. The interior was a wreck of misery, rags, and
filth, a cask alone serving the purpose 4 a table. In-addi-
tion to the land the deceased had £lOO. in the bank. The
brother, who was in rass, under threats of imprisonment,
gave evidence stating that Edmund died during FridaE
night last, and an hour before his decease he "gabbed
and made some sort of noise. D. King, of Chepstow, gave
evidence to the effect that although deceased suffered
from chronic consumption the condition of his residence
waa in itself enough to accelerate death, and a verdict in
accordance with this statement was returned.
. _

FATAL RAILWAY ACCIDICKT.—On Thursday afternoon an
inquest was hell at the Infirmary, Salisbury, before Mr.
G. Smith, the City coroner, and a jury. .in the body of
William Pearcy, who died from injuries he received on
the previous evening on the London awl South-Western
Railway. It appeared from the evidence that while the
9.40 luggage train from Yeovil was coining into the station
the deceased came from off the platform and passed
through a line of carriages on to the up line juit as the
train was passing. The engine caught him as he
endeavoured to cross and knocked him down. Ile was
carried to the Infirmary, where Mr. Riggs, the house
surgeon, found he had sustained severe injuries to his
right leg; the muscles and calf were all torn, the knee'
joint was open, and the thigh-bone broken, awl the left
leg also was broken above the ankle. Ile expired the
same night about twelve o'clock, the immediate cause of
death being shock to the sy4ein. The jury retumedja
verdict of " Accidental death."

AiIrEMORIAL CARDS.—
IVA- The friends of deceased person' invited to
inspect a variety of MEMORIAL CARDS, embossed,
cameo, or plain, at the Aim of this paper, 8, High
West-street, Dorchester; or at 7, Bond-street, Wey-
mouth. Or specimens will be sent by pest for selection.
WS Embossed Cards, with name, slates, ages, and a
verse of poetry, or text of Scripture, supplied for :la