The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1858-11-16 00:00:00

Varitticl.

00)10111/TRA1'IVO MAXUII.—Lord lama, in a een
venation with his prdiner one day mid, "George, the
time will soon come when a man shall be able to carry
the manure for an acre of land in the of him waistcoat
pockets i to which the prdner replied, "I believe it,
sir 1 ,but he will be able to wry all the crop in the
other pocket."
Whet very bad practice was the eomet son.leatly
guilty oil Tale.bearing. Why have we meson to up.
pose that it licked relnentent el ationas? ireaues it
wee seen oonstautly in the company of a Urea Behr.
Too Now BAILLIM—In a town not many miles from
the Clyde, where a hatch of municipal authorities wee
sleeted lut week, one of the moo Manisa padded the
other day, for the Ant time, on the bench, Oat el the
earliest 0111011 brill/111 before him wee that el a servant
girl who sued bar iiilarma for her wages, which were re.
Nod on the ground that ilia bail allowed o fermata
natirrel to pe from It. a
ge.The worthy magi..
tate, ater tearing the perils., saki, "That, ilthough
the lase wee miybe to blame for leaving 11111 sage door
open, yet the millirem wail 1111111 to blame nor km, for
the eon hie ellppet the beast's whip, me that It masa
Am awe,"
DirrlnULVllle or A Faction levonino,-11 has been
btorolly amounted In letter aid peitiphlet, rebsoiently
dellialme4 on hustings and at bottomed, that an army
of 101,009 mat ootiW be treneported la 19 houye from
Peri. to Cherbourg, The.. who know the 16941111 es tal
french railway. mltilit have mope doubt. as 10 the eon.
veyenee of seals a body In 'ugh liaie with the means at
6atellietiliZr4llil oltiwtari,u:rtiolluthne, le!..elyilideoluivigiti
ip the Camp de Wire, or at the gales oi the yard,
, the question arleea—how are the/ to reach et 'home
of Migland 1 The SUIIIIVeII and Measure de twines
are depleted by gnash water. as leaping aid aging
on board Alpe, and earrylny them by a grand charge US
bayonet. I but we are not milled upon to believe that,
Ilk. the .ante a ad, they eon snake a imirailloth pa..
miii of the channel on their imamate, They taut
be troiniparled i and how? A undred Ilioneaud men
would require NM 'hip. of Amt.. NU power for thew
waves alone beside. tune. fur the gun. and bursa, Cal.
Waling thirlitrerenee of burden and the impoesibilllg of
oollesting SU many large Ve11411114 it may be anutned that
RV of one elms Ind the other would be required 1 and
thio we believe to be a supply which 14 naval and marl.
time resource* of granite would not be equal to at ens
start liven lithe' oaold be furnished, where amid
they be disposed of at Cherbourg? The Rade had the
beano could not hold them—so that the epees alone
would eompvi the embareation of inch a body to be a
plemmeal affair, even supposing the nemesia mean.
available.
1)ioloq WITII A BlellOP.—One of our lading pre
Isles not long ago invited to his hospitable lelealoo in
London a country motor, an old friend, from of the
remote province.. Tlie simple.minde4 pin +man moo
about Ao'clook, having a notion thet he o old era's
about the dinner hour. loon after he had taken hie seat
tea wee brought round, "Well," thought the rector,
" this Is hero -living, at as,, rote 1 If I bass Irnown I would
have had a hertsteak at a shop-house4f ore I mute a
but I hardly sambaed that a bishop w dine el one
o'clock. lilt a feet day, I wonder?' Re drank his
tea, however, and said nothing. About hall-past T
o'clock his bedeendle was placed in Ilk hind, and he
we. oonduoted to Ma eleepinc room. ( " Call you this
London?' he soliloquised I ' why, I eionld have fared
far better at 011verton 1 I 'should hay had nay eomfort-
able mutton shop and any glans of rat 9 o'clock, and
I should have been in bad at 10, wel fed and contented.
But here I am, halfatarved in the itha of splendour—
asorry as a hunter—almost ady to devour my
lantt, like the boa «metric ha, ha I and where
il
everything looks lo grand. Well dm furniture won't
make • man fat. Give me su nal Mingle and you
may take Inc gilding." Soliloquiog in this fashion, he
, undressed himself, polled ov his ears hie cotton
, nightcap, "with a teasel on the p," a. the song say.,
' and crept into bed, coiling hitnèlf on comfortably, and,
being or a forgi',Virlif temper, h ti forgot hie troubles,
and sank into is drat sleep a sweetly as • " christem
Mild ." when, lo I after a e bells begin to ring, and
a smai V/i
knock at his door r units through his room,
and • voice is heard saying, PDinner is on the table,
Sir." The old gentleman awda. in considerable oonfosion
not knowing whither it w 4 to-day or to-morrow, and,
according to the most ant Ma amount, he appeared
shortly after at the dinner hie, though in • somewhat
ruffled condition aa relat.o his warerobe, and mentally
in • base of uncertainty to the day of the week and
the meal he wee eating.
THR VALHI OF FRU a BRAOrT.—Who dares set
our children copies sayi that "Beauty la of small ac-
count compared with oodness?" Tear the loaf out
wherever you see au profanity. Beware of putting
such felsehoodo into pybooko, 0 lancita and 5.--
diens l Lord Eldon as deprived SWIM Of you the
custody of children r lees offenoes. Write, op the
, contrary, in your hes oopinerplste, for trauseription by
our innocenta, that ' Beauty li the beet gift to womao"
—provided a won,a be a lady, by whieh, of course, I
ft.
mean somebody w family is well-to-do. Beauty,
under our exist' Chriatiao went., is a bin.
drone. to depend i for whM ems lady likes her
rover:um to be 1 tier than her daughter, or her maid
Se
to be prettier thin herself? and to the poor girl, no
doubt, the posimOon of a charming fare is, under our
Christiau arrangsmenta aforesaid, a cure* bestowed by
come maillgnanilfairy, prolmireas of wino lovers and
the reit of 17elatoormy, But, deer and rcicimmtaill•
woman, lawfully married wife, down upon your knees
morning anti 6 ning, and thank Providence if you have
beep made b,ttiful, or have reason to think so.
Thank Pruvi4noc, I repeat to you, for a gift that has
saved or will vs you two-thirds of the mthatione which
snake up life If you only knew he value. You think
you do 1 Ithl,wito the Queen of tihebe *emplaned to
noloimin he ontpliall haa not been told, It won
your hue d, 014 you know quite well, though ran
pretend to hink that amompliehmenta, emetneee, high
brooding, d all thet were your real theme dial
he meal you far your beauty, and would tell yeti oc,
but for ono which I will not betray, Anti It la by
I
your bea that you keep hiiii-1 won't alozateat,
we are I that you know—but &Weave, fret.,
Eere forgiving, enduring, I tell you, edam, %hat
au re a plain woman you would be treated lit.
di rent winner, The plain ORM all are, Some
know A, but are too vein to my co—oorne don't know it,
but Ibis tree, If en Nor woman said to a husband a
quartir of the utiulmeall things that you my lie would
vr,V::noyluelng.tearntiltlN tir",;"d"t".ll%
your huebann to met up the other iunorning2ine quietly
mowing a cheek for it as the raw young villa* 1)1a.
meting nthelottery going to the Hottentot' meld, In
&Meer r an footman' Mend, that of mores he ahould
acme aotilleatlon by filth—lt would be mend beck to
ler with i a growl if the man were a gentleman, aid an
oth lilt. were a mob, If else wrote him, he being
away, the threleu ad amity helot that yen' waste the
other day and whieh you would hardly have Nen at
MI het 'that you wonted money for a
(whereat she sent hint Id aide. of &Mir errissts,
'Althorn* and snarling atuft, out at a re
10 Med, and very good Mole for t. Cater
table.talk at the tiountrphoues), .1.. woold
have had a brief eatrael from the counterfoil, of his
%Meeka fur the year, and IA intimation that alle world
have no more money till Chiltern's, when he meant le
sopnorrrttio:mit,en.hthem!ligin. Itosnmealit
r esulll wi
real
4„
4,
sul i
pills,
ier Ihte:blo.6::s wore.,t w
iliiiiinenoughl A
e 6 ano
orT
hti
ahuaene eo:oiwoW:nhisi
myll i Cott
.6, M't eu tearsl t
withering in her eyes, diiiippointment elottillng the fai•
Imes, perhaps emUrramment at Ma ontiduet living the
the playful anther and the Mule return for yore rude.
nem, when you ought to have a box on the ears. That
la why the party is given, the opera boa taken, the viali
to Brighton worded, and when you Bend your half
sulky letter for money, then, as Mr. Tennyson

-
" Thi hoe gene Me Pam wow.
" And gives the abeek•book to hit headA"
Bs thankful, too, for your small mercies—yew small
small band, well toot, 511111 talk, bet, above all.
dew woman, be thanktel that you haw eel see it glom
teem Which & mon of avenge senalbility Apes Oct Bite to
me la discontent or dleteles."—fte Gerelimat tow, tor
November.

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