The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1878-06-01 00:00:00

311tiscellanetill nicitigentr.

HOME, FOREIGN, AND COLONIAL.

ANOTHER BOAT VOYAGE ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Another boat voyage across the Atlantic from America
is shortly to be attempted. The destination is Paris,
the object being to reach the Exhibition. The boat,
which is only 19 feet long, will have no bowsprit,
but will carry a lateen and square sail. She will be
named the Nautilus, and her owner, Mr. A. W.
Andrews, of Beverley, Massachussetts, intends to start
on his perilous journey about the Ist of June. He will
probably be accompanied by his wife.
"A FLOWERY COMPLIMENT." - Mister Twiggs :
"This is how it is, Miss; some flowers are like
some people—plant 'em anywheres, and they'll grow
Beau-ti-fat I"—Fun.
HORNLESS CA.TTLE.—A Denver cattle-breeder,
William Clark by name, has bred a herd of horn-
less cattle (from horned cows and horned bulls), and
he claims for them the following merits Horns
were given to cattle to be used in fighting—to enable
them to defend themselves against dangerous enemies.
For this purpose they are of value upon wild cattle.
Domestic cAttle have no valuable use for them. 2.
The horns upon domestic cattle are need mostly in
goring and injuring each other. All injuries to
animals are paid for in their diminishad growth, or
diminished flesh, or increased amount of food con-
sumed. 3. The expense of growing the horns is equal
to the expense of a like weight in meat, and they are
good for nothing.

ROPY.—It is not generally known that the rigging
of a ship is manufactured entirely out of sailors' yarns.
—Judy.
A NOVEL WAY OF FIZIMITENING ROOKS. —The
Americans have a curious method of frightening away
crows from a newly sown field. They make paper
cones some four or five inches long and wide enough at
the larger end to admit the head of a crow, at the
bottom they place some seeds, the inside of the top
being coated with bird-lime. The cones thus prepared
are put lightly into the ground, the top level to the
earth ' • the crow is soon tempted to plunge in his head
after the seed, and upon withdrawing it the cone ad-
heres to him tightly. His aspect, with the fool's cap
on as he blindly flies hither and thither among his re-
lations, frightens them so much that they almost turn
pale ; at any rate, they fly off with horror depicted in
their countenances, and a chorus of poor Karr, the
white devil has got him at last, and so they are never
seen agaifi in the same field, &c.
-

CANADIAN ARBlAMENTS.—Despatches from Canada
in the American papers received show that extraordi-
nary activity is being displayed by the authorities of
Canada in view of any attack upon the Dominion.
Four guns have been sent to Yarmouth, and four to
St. John's with ammunition, &c. A battery of artil-
lery is being enrolled at Yarmouth, and three Govern-
ment steamers have been provided with rifled guns
and ammunition. Important instructions had been
received from the Colonial Secretary, at Ottawa, by
the authorities at Montreal to distribute arms and
ammunition to the Volunteers along the American
border, and hold a large force in readiness. Four
gunboats armed with 32-pounders, and manned by
twenty-four gunners each, had been ordered to the
St. Lawrence. The citadel of Quebec has been sup-
plied with formidable weapons, and everywhere the
note of preparation was being sounded.
HAVING HIS WORK CUT OUT.—The new Pope has
we hear, received at the Vatican a special messenger
from the Sultan of Turkey, commissioned to convey.
to Leo XIII. the Ottoman sovereign's congratula-
tions, and also "deputed to adjust all differences
between these two distinguished personages." He
will have a tough job if his errand means all it says.
—Judy.
ADVENTUROUS CONVICTS.—As a gang of convicts
were returning from their work at Portsmouth
Dockyard Extension one day last week, three of the
gang broke away and ran in the direction of the lake,
into which they plunged. They swam out some dis-
tance until they reached a boat, into which they got,
and, having stripped, proceeded to amuse themselves
by taking headers, laughing heartily at the officers
who were watching them from the bank. They were
surrounded to prevent any possibility of escape, and
after bathing to their hearts' content they swam
ashore•and surrendered. They were immediately
handcuffed and conveyed to separate cells, to await
the result of their adventure.

DISASTERS AT SEA. - Twenty-nine British and
foreign wrecks were reported during the past week,
making the total for the year 602, or a decrease of 266
as compared with the corresponding period of last
year. The approximate value of property lost was
£2;9,000, including British £179,000.

CRINOLINE AGAIN !—The World remarks.—" What!
are we threatened with crinoline again? Mankind
will surely be ready to recant all its complaints on the
subject of scanty dresses at this dire menace. Too
certain is it that our ladies tell us that, with the con-
templated revival of short dresses, crinoline is a neces-
sity. Woman, it seems, must have either length or
breadth, or else she would look all bonnet and boots!
Which shall we choose, my brothers? The snaky
train that lies in wait for our feet, or the steel bars
which the middle-aged tibia so well remembers?
Well, whichever evil we pronounce for, we shall pro-
bably get the other." _

ONLY THEIR WHEY.—The correspondent of a con-
temporary, writing from Asia Minor, describes the
inhabitants of that part of the world in no very flatter-
ing terms, and declares that the "milk of human kind-
ness is unknown amongst them." Yes, but he should
recollect what a number of them are Kurds.—Judy.

A PATTERN FOR ENGLAND.—Lygoddium peltatum,
one of the most beautiful of climbing ferns has be-
come so popular in the cities of Connecticut ferns,
indoor
decorations in a dried state that it has been found
necessary by the Legislature of the State to pass a
special law for its protection. The offence of wilfully
destroying or taking away from the land of another
person "cranberries, creeping ferns, shrubs, fruit, or
vegetable production" is, under the provisions of this
law, punishable by a fine not exceeding 100 dollars, or
imprisonment for a term not exceeding twelve months.
A NARROW ESCAPE.— Seven boys had a narrow
escape from drowning at Farnworth, near Bolton, on
Sunday evening. Being overtaken by a storm, they
ran for shelter into a culvert which conducts a portion
of the sewage water at Farnworth into the reservoirs
of the paper mills. A few minutes afterwards a
heavy volume of water rushed through the culvert,
carrying the lads off their feet and washing them a
considerable distance. Two of them were taken out
almost lifeless, and the others would have been
drowned but for the exertions of two men who saw
them enter the culvert.
THE BILL, THE WHOLE BILL, AND NOTHING BUT
THE BILL. —Seven thousand Sepoys at Malta will cost
John Bull (see Supplementary Estimate) i',748,000, i.e.
£lOO a man. Black draughts come expensive!
"Throw physic to the dogs !' said Macbeth. Throw
money to the dogs 1" says Britannia.—Punch.
MUMMY POWDER !—Mayfair says :—" The Austra-
lians have a superstition that they must not remain
on a station where their dead are buried. As civilisa-
tion reaches them they begin to dislike moving, and a
squatter one day tried to keep a useful black on the
premises by 'cremating' his dead Lubra, instead of
burying her. The black fellow accepted the com-
promise; Kitty was burned, and er ashes, wrapped
in paper, were placed in the medicine-chest. Soon
afterwards the Squatter fell ill, and Mrs. Squatter
went to the chest and administered a powder which
she found there with the best effects. Later investi-
gations showed that the packet was marked poor
Kitty's dust.' Mummy powder may have been whole-
some after all."
AVERAGE PRICES OF BRITISH CORN.—The follow-
ing are the average prices of British corn for the week
ending May 25, as received from the inspectors and
officers of Excise :—Wheat, 51s. 2d.; barley, 395. 61.;
oats, 265. sd. per imperial qr. Corresponding week
last year :—Wheat, 68s. 6d.; barley, 375. 9d. ; oats,
28s. ld.
A HARD CASE.—Enter Young Husband, who
throws himself into a chair, and exclaims—" What!
Toothache again, Maria? Ido call that hard upon a
Feller Why, you had Toothache when I left this
Morning! And here have I been at Epsom all day,
with the jolliest lot o' Fellers ever got together in one
Drag, and won a pot o' money, and had no end of a
jolly time, and I did think I should find something
cheerful and jolly to greet a Feller when I got home!
And there you are I—Toothache again! I do call it
hard upon a Feller—precious hard! "—Punch.
PIGS IN THE UNITED STATES.—The American Com-
missioner of Agricultnie gives the following as the
number of pigs in the United States from 1870 to 1878
inclusive :-1870, 26,751,600; 1871, 29,457,500; 1872,
31,796 300 ; 1873, 32,632,050; 1874, 30,860,900; 1875,
28,062,200; 1876, 25,726,800; 1877, 28,077,100; 1878,
32,262,500.
THE TRIUMPH OF VIRTUE OVER VICE. The
Pictorial Wm ld tells the following :—" The poor
fellow who writes paragraphs for the newspapers and
who, in a different way to that described by Thackeray,
almost succeeds in living on nothing a year, is the sub-
ject of many a good story, in which the ridiculous and
the pathetic are curiously blended. One of these cha-
racters was blessed by Providence with children to the
number of about fourteen (when the tale is above
twelve, one or more is of no consequence in a story)
and had naturally a rare struggle to keep all these
heads above water. Friday arrived, the cruse was
exhausted, and the man made one last effort to provide
food for his fourteen hungry little ones. He wrote an
account of the inquest concerning a horrible murder
and suicide, and dropped it into the box of the only
newspaper that then paid on Saturday for work done
on the previous day. Having thus sowed the good
seed he departed, but there came by the devil in the
shape of another hanger-on to the skirts of the press,
who plucked up the good seed—that is, he hooked
up the M.S. with the aid of a bent wire. The
startling paragraph was very soon copied, and the
copy, with the writer's name at the foot, dropped into
the same box. In the morning came the troubled
father to draw the half-crown that was to keep the
wolf from the door until the Monday; but he was met
with the answer that Mr. So-and-So had contributed
that paragraph and had been paid for it. Away he
rushed to the thief and roundly accused him of the
deed, but the rascal maintained that he was present at
the inquest, but in the back-ground. Nothing of the
kind, cried the outraged father; 'there was no in-
quest at all; I invented it myself because I was so
infernally hard-up.' fableau—Triumph of virtue over
vice. You pay your money; and as to which is
virtue and which vice, it is purely a matter of
choice."

A " HARD " a man guilty of theft when
he." steels" his breast ?—Judv.

THE PARIS EXHIBITION.—There wese 111,296 per-
sons admitted to the Paris Exhibition on Sunday, and
of these 103,138 entered with if. tickets. On the first
Sunday after the opening there were 67.800 if. tickets,
on the second 78,900, on the third 85,700, so that on
each successive Sunday the admittances have been
more numerous. The first week, from the Ist to the
7th of May, gave 201,600 f. ; the second, from the Bth
to the 14th, 252,400 f. ; and the third, from the 15th
to the 21st, 302,400 f. ; that io to say, an increase of
50,000 f. a week.
CLUB SMOKING-ROOM.-6 30 p.m.—Octogenarian.
"Let me offer you a light, and save you the trouble of
getting up !" Youth. " A—tha-a-nks ! So kind of
you l',—Octogenarian. "Don't mention it! I always
make a point of being civil to rich young men who
smoke and drink sherry just before dinner ! "—Youth.
" A—why ?" Octogenarian. "'Well—they might
perhaps mention me in their wills, you know! "
Punch.
AN INDIAN VISITOR.—On Friday last there arrived
in London a young Indian Prince, the Maharajah of
Kuch Behar. He is making a twelve months tour
of Europe, and after two months' stay in Loudon will
visit the principal manufacturing towns of England.
He is accompanied by his guardian, Surgeon-Major
B. Simpson, and Mr. H. St. John Kneller, his tutor
and joint guardian. Two cousins have come over
with him, with a view to being educated in this
country.
HARD TlMES.—Someone is going about saying that
this is a world of change. How is it then that so little
of it gets into circulation ?—Judy.
COMPETING IN BEAUTY, AND IN DRESS ALSO.—
Women never seem able to regulate their ambitions
(says Vanity Fair). I have seen a woman who when
dressed plainly and simply shone among her fellows a
bright particular star, and who not content with this
has allowed herself to form and endeavour to carry
out the project of competing with all London, not in
beauty only, but in dress. She did not reflect that to
vie in the putting on of apparel with women of un-
limited allowance requires at least an equal fortune;
and above all she did not reflect that her chief charm
lay preci,ely in that modest simplicity which she was
so anxious to abandon for rich trappings. The event
proved that she was wrong—for people instead of ad-
miring her beauty, which was undoubted, took to
criticising her dress—and so she lost credit for her face
because she had elected to seek it for her gowns,