The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1878-02-16 00:00:00

Itlisrellaneous

HOME, FOREIGN, AND COLONIAL.

"Nor QUITE THE CHEESE! British Farmer.
"What sort o' cheese do you call this? Full o'
holes !"—Waiter. " Grew-yere, sir."—British Farmer
(suspiciously). "Then just bring one that grew some-
where else ! '—Punch.
AN INEXPENSIVE FORCE.—The World remarks :
"A volunteer is no longer a volunteer when he is
paid. It would be well for their commanding officers,
who came from all parts of the kingdom the other
night to the United Service Institution, to bear this
well in mind. The Government allow each available
volunteer thirty shillings a year ; with this he is sup-
posed to furnish himself with a head-covering, a tunic,
and a pair of unmentionables. Some pleaded for a
greatcoat, some for a few shillings a day when he is in
camp, &c. ; but if a greatcoat, why not boots? and if
he is paid in camp, why not his omnibus-fare to at-
tend his drills in London? We must not draw the
line too tightly. Undoubtedly the Royal Commission
they have asked for will be granted. It would seem
incredible to any other country that a well-armed
well-drilled force of about two hundred thousand men
could have been sustained so long at a cost of less than
a man per annum."
A WORD TO THE UNWISE.—The next financial year
begins on the Ist of ApriL Those who have underpaid
their income-tax, and other uneasy people who send
postage stamps and halves of Bank notes to the Chan-
cellor of the Exchequer, will kindly make a note—a
bank-note if they like—of the date.—Judy.
STRANGE DOINGS ON VALENTINE'S EVE.—In a cer-
tain part of Norfolk it used to be customary to de-
liver valentines on the eve of the 14th of February,
instead of on the latter day, and the following method
—which will, perhaps, seem to our readers rather a
strange one—was adopted: As soon as a favourable
opportunity presented itself the door of the hou•-e for
which the valentine was intended was stealthily
opened, and then the little missive—curiously enough,
tied to an apple or an orange—was thrown in; a loud
knock instantly followed ; and be or she who was the
bearer of the packet then hastened away. The people
in the house were usually on the alert for these knocks,
and on hearing them immediate search for the valen-
tines was made; and it was in this way that the latter
were invariably delivered and received. It is said
that sometimes, for the sake of fun, a white mark, of
the size and shape of a letter, was chalked upon the
doorstep, and those who were the authors of this trick
would at a convenient distance watch the persons in
the house as now and then they made vain attempts to
pick it up.—Little Folks' Magazine for February.

THE LONDON MASONS' STRIKE.—No change of any
importance has occurred during the past week with
reference to the masons' strike. There still remain
something more than 600 names on the strike roll, and
on Saturday all those on the roll received their strike
pay of 18s. each with is. extra for each wife and for
each child under the age of 13. A considerable num-
ber of men came to London during the past week,
chiefly from Scotland. The Masons' Strike Com-
mittee have sent back some 50 or 60 of these. The
American masons still in Loudon, it is alleged, are
making application to be sent home, but the commit-
tee decline to spend money for this purpose. They
also E.ay that the Germans are not likely to do them
any further injury, and they will take no further
trouble to send any of them back to the Continent.
It has been stated that the Isuilding firms which were
paying 10d. an hour had reduced the wages to 9d.,
but this is denied. There are still 1,400 mamas work.
bag ty,t this TinK4l

RUSSIAN SECURITIES.—Turkish Bonds.—Punch.
FEMALE ADVOCATES OF WOMAN SUFFRAGE.—It is
related that Senator Conkling was waylaid in the
corridor of the Senate the other day by a large group
of female advocates of women suffrage, and was
forcibly entreated to permit them to appear at the bar
of the Senate and plead their cause. Mr. Conkling
said it would be setting a precedent under which th.e
Senate could not refuse_ to allow any one with a peti-
tion to appear at the bar and argue on the subject.
Mrs'. Hboker said :—" We represent 8,000,000 of
citizens of the United States who: are basely defrau,ded
of their rights. You are a man who have your righto,
and we ask and demand of you that you help us to
get ours." Mr. Conkling said he was always glad to
help the ladies in everything. Then some twenty of
them in chorus said, "Give us our rights." Poor Mr.
Conkling nevertheless stoutly refused, and gradually
edging his way into the Senate with very low bows, at
last disappeared within its doors with one very pro-
found bow.

HINTS ABOUT A FISH DlET.—Authors do not diet
themselves properly, lam convinced. The quality of
a man's work depends to a great extent upon wliat he
feeds on at the time he is doing it. "After years of
study devoted to the vbject," writes a gentleman who
believes in his own brain capacity, "I discovered
that the very best incentive to brain-work is fish. But
let not the reader run away with the idea that any
fish will do for any work. On the contrary, a poem
written on codfish and oyster sauce might be excellent,
a sermon written on the same would be idiotic. If
you wish to write a good drama, turbot is the best
fish; for poetical work, and comic, sprats; serious,
codfish and oyster sauce; for a romantic story, boiled
soles ; for a leading article, whelks; for sermons,
periwinkles. For writing essays upon pure or applied
sciences I have always found bloaters the best food.
No man can do anything on salmon, unless it was to
make his will or write an actionable letter to his
enemy

THE SNEEZE AT THE WRONG MOMENT.—There is
one experience which always comes as a crucial test to
man's moral nature. The wise man tells us there is a
time for all things, but to have two things which are
externally opposed to each other occur at the same
moment is very perplexing. To sit down at a dinner -
with a choice company is delightful; but just who*
you have filled your mouth to its utmost capacity to
feel the stealthy approaches of a sneeze is utter despair.
Human nature knows no profounder depths of gloom.
It is a fearful combat, and to say that the whole man
is wretched and wishes himself a thousand times dead,
or that he had been attacked by the leprosy just before
your invitation reached him, is but feebly to express
his condition. Sneezing is a delight when you have
time to enjoy it ; but that intrusive sneeze which will
occur at the wrong moment is the despair of science.—
New York Herald.
A Sum IN PROPORTION. —Not one of the orators
who opposed the Vote of Credit brought forward our
old friend, "the thin end of the wedge." Yet he
would have been strictly in place. Given £6,000,000
as the thin end of the wedge, required the money-
equivalent of the thick end ?—Punch.

THE SEWING. MACHINE AND THE STRAW HAT
TRADE.—Machinery for sewing straw hats has of late
been largely introduced in the local trade at Luton.—
At a trade soil*, the other evening, given by Mr. E.
Stratford, Wilcox and Gibbs' agent, to 500 persons,
the story of the adaptation of the sewing machine to
the trade and its increasing use was greatly applauded.
Mr. George Hunton, one of the oldest manufacturers,
attributed Luton's prosperous trade to their persever-
ance and readiness to avail themselves of mechanical
"aids, and foreign materials. He exhibited a variety of
bonnet shapes in vogue during the last forty years,
from the tiny bonnet, a mere fillet of straw, fashion-
able a couple of years ago, to the great coal-scuttle
bonnet our grandmothers wore, and deemed hand-
some. Mr. Charles Mees, one of the leading
machinists, expressed his opinion that it was by
using machinery Luton alone could successfully com-
pete with Continental firms, and maintain its posi:
tion as the seat of the straw hat and bonnet manu.
factory,

DEATH OF A MISSIONARY.—The Rev. R. Duff, a
popular missionary, whose labours in India in con-
nection with the Free Church of Scotland Missions are
well known, died at Sidmouth, on Tuesday. Dr. Duff
was looked upon as the pioneer in the Indian field, and
indeed he was commonly designated as the "prince of
missionaries." He was one of the first scholars of the
day, a capital linguist„ and employed himself in pro-
moting the translation of the Bible into the various
Hindoo languages. After thirty-four years in India,
Dr. Duff returned to Scotland in 1863, and ever since
has zealously laboured in the interests of the Free
Church. He occupied the Moderator's Chair of the
Assembly on two occasions.
THE HIGHER EDUCATION OF WOMEN.—Learning
how to walk in French boots with six-inch heels.—
Punch.

CATTLE DISEASE.—During the past month two
beasts and 23 sheep suffering from foot and mouth
disease, and 14 sheep suffering from sheep scab, were
landed in London from Ant werp, Boulogne, Ham-
burg, and Rotterdam. Under instructions from the
Privy Council they were all slaughtered on landing,
as well as 152 beasts, 3,007 sheep, and three pigs—
healthy animals brought over in the same vessels.
No cases were detected in animals brought from un-
scheduled Countries.

ARMOUR PLATES.—On Sunday and Monday large
quaatities of armour plates were despatched from
Sheffield for immediate shipment for Austria, princi-
pally in order to complete the armament of the
Tegethoff. Some of these plates are fourteen inches
and others nine inches in thickness. The consignment
in all amounted to several hundred tons. There are
also large lots of Government and other plates of ten
and twelve inches in thickness for the English War
Office, mostly for the Sheerness defences. In both
cases the orders have been completed with as much
despatch as has been possible.

A Mom's EmiGRATION FROM LIVERPOOL.—The
officers at Liverpool have just issued the returns of
the number of emigrants who left Liverpool last
month. During that period 66 vessels took their de-
parture, having on board 1,959 persons. Of these
1,197 were English, 15 Scotch, 247 Irish, 363
foreigners, and 137 whose nationalities were not
known. Their destination and numbers were-1,496
to the United States, 230 to British North America,
79 to Australia, 76 to South America, 79 to the East
Indies, 11 to the West Indies, 6 to China, and 32 to
the West Coast of Africa. The figures of last month
are 150 in excess of the previous month, but are below
those of January last year.