The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1884-12-27 00:00:00

A VILLAGE ENTERTAINMENT.

The school-room had been prettily decorated with
wreaths and banners, and though some of the latter
had obviously done duty at a recent Conservative de-
monstration and, patriotically if somewhat inappro-
priately, called upon us to "Stand by the Peers "
the general effect was festive and inspiriting.
"Dear—ah—friends" (he had very nearly said
"Dearly Beloved Brethren ! ") "we are met—sh—
here this evening "—and so forth. Thus the rector in
his most paternal style. His speech need not be
given in extenso, though it called forth warm ap-
plause from the closely packed audience, who (such is
the force of habit) had at the beginning settled them-
selves in their places with the half-sleepy and wholly
dutiful air of expectancy which characterises them as
a congregation on Sunday at sermon-time. A popular
man' the rector, though not a brilliant speaker, and
his little jokes with the audience, every face
in which is as familiar to him as his own, were as
successful as if his hearers had never heard any of
them before. For alas! no one is altogether perfent,
and the good rector has one not uncommon failing.
He is given to repeating his sermons and his stories.
Our programme had been carefully arranged so as to
take in all the available talent, and as Mr. Taffy, who
keeps the general shop, was known to be a first-rate
hand at the violin, while the schoolmaster modestly
admitted an acquaintance with the flute, it was decided
that a concerted piece to begin with would at once
display our local capabilities to the best advantage;
the rector's wife obligingly offering to play the piano
accompaniment. The music was severely classical,
and it went off very well. To be sure, the effect was
somewhat marred by slight eccentricities on the part
of the flute, which did not always come up to time,
expending its powers in a wheeze when it ought to have
produced a shrill blast, and sometimes breaking
into the upper register in a sudden and startling
fashion; but, on the other hand, the instrument came
out strongly in the tremolo passages, which brought
tears into the eyes of everyone. Mr. Taffy was in
great force, and the way he made his arm work in the
scherzo was the theme of universal admiration. The
accompaniment of the rector's wife wouldeave been
simply perfect had she not been so frequently put out
by over-zeal on the part of young Bolus, who chose
the most inopportune moments for turning over the
leaves, and once brought the music to a complete
standstill by upsetting the book altogether. Never-
theless, the audience were highly
,pleased with the
performance, and cried " Angcore ! with such hearty
persistence that the last movement had to be given
over again.
At this point the Squire and his party entered the
room. The Squire had just dined, and struggled
gallantly with a yawn all the evening. Young Mr.
Acres looked rather bored, and no doubt would have
enjoyed himself more over a game of billiards rod a
pipe at home; but the ladies interested themselves
thoroughly in the proceedings, and frequently en-
couraged the performers with their plaudits. Young
Wursel's lyrical powers are celebrated all over the
country side, and so we had secured him to sing a
comic song, the choice of which he stipulated should
be left to himself. He was received with rapture ;
and when he rumpled his hair as a preliminary, the
audience went off into shrieks of laughter before he
had oven opened his mouth. Such a song it was !
There were fifteen verses, and every verso ended
with an interminable " Fol-de-rol " chorus,
which was taken up with tremendous gusto
by the audience till the school-room rafters
rang again. The song, which was said to be Mr.
Wursel's own composition, related the adventures
of "a bowld young man," who had some diverting
experiences in his courtship of a certain "Mary
Ann ;" and was warmly appreciated by the farmers
and their wives, who langlied till the tears streamed
down their rosy cheeks. Such deafening applause
followed the conclusion, and such stentorian shouts
of " Angcore !" that Mr. Wursel was forced to re-
appear, which he did, with a well-acted simulation of
extreme modesty, and presently dashed off into "D' ye
'ken John Peel ?" which raised another storm of
enthusiam. Then Mr. Dionysius Cope, the curate,
gave a reading of "Mrs. Caudle," which was, perhaps,
the greatest surprise of the evening, for the curate,
who had hitherto been known to us only as a retiring
young man with mildly Pan-Anglican proclivities,
suddenly developed an amount of humour and
spirit which no one had given him credit for; and
when he gave Mrs. Caudle's immortal utterances
in a high falsetto he fairly brought down the house.
Mrs. Cope, who followed, was painfully nervous, and
labouring under what the French call " une belle
extinction de voix ; " but she got through " Robin
Adair" fairly well, considering. The feature of the
entertainment on which we chiefly depended was the
glee-singing by members of the choir. Mr. Cutts, the
butcher, has a sonorous bass organ which came out
with telling effect in "Who will o'er the downs ?"
Mr. Hyson, the grocer, taking the tenor parts and
conducting energetically, while young Perkins put in
a rather reedy alto. Our prima donna assoluta is
Miss Cutts, who has a remarkably sweet, though not
very powerful soprano. Much more powerful though
not so sweet, is the organ of Mrs. Jowler. She, how-
ever, has her partisans, who pooh-pooh Miss Cutts, and
call her a "chit of a thing with no more voice than
a mouse." On the other hand, the Cuttsites
maintain that Mrs. Jowler's voice resembles the shriek
of a locomotive whistle, which, indeed, it occasionally
does. Little Miss Tucker, the dressmaker, is not
strictly-speaking a contralto (real contralti being as
scarce as real tenon), but her mezzo-soprano did duty
very fairly in the contralto parts. The blacksmith
made quite a sensation in "The Charge of the Light
Brigade," which he recited in a tremendous bass voice,
and with an amount of martial energy which was
electrifying. To hear him describe how Cannons to
right of urn; cannons to left of urn; cannons in front
of urn; vollered and thoonderd !" made one's hair
stand on end, and it was a positive relief when he
retired, mopping the perspiration from his manly
brow.

_
Miss Bellairs is the acknowledged beauty of our
village, and is engaged to be married to Mr.
Flamingo. They sang "The Naggletons " in a way
which might seem to bode portentously for their
future relations as man and wife; but which evoked
appreciative cheers from Farmer Wursel, who is sup-
posed to be rather under the plump thumb of his
buxom " mimus ;" so that when his loud " Brayvo
was heard, everybody laughed at him and laughed
immoderately, while his comely spouse smiled a
conscious smile and grew more rosy than ever. Next
to the farmer's wife sat young Clinker,
who is understood to be courting Miss Polly
Wursel, and from the way in which she
exclaimed "Do be quiet !" it may be feared that
he took advantage of his position to press his suit and
his fianc4e's hand at the same time. On the other
side of Mr. Wursel his elder daughter, Susie, pre-
tended to be unconscious of the presence of Mr. Sam
Buckle, the saddler, who, however, greatly scandalised
old Mies Primm, by whispering in Miss Susie's ear
whenever he found an opportunity.
And so the performance came to a timely end.
The poor of the parish got a good five pounds towards
their Christmas cheer; and we all went home to
supper, highly pleased with our evening; the general
opinion was that no London concert could :have been
more completely successful than our village enter-
tainment.--.T.P.A. in Illustrated London NeWB.