The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1878-06-11 00:00:00

THE
_PENNY
_WEDDING.

The Lin.liody Still Stuilmg—Ecape from Slocum Pariger
—Seeira4 l'oeuxUN--Cmiitur Ilutue—The Little Surprise.
Hang this butter busiDero !
-• • - •• • • • •

There is nothing at all of • buttery expression, so to
speak, about the landlady's face as she woks cue what is
t ooe nutter, and whether I have earthing to complain of.
a happy inspiration, as I don't happen to be in •
ppo tlOll to complain. I resolve upon laying the blame on
thet,l, and pretend that she did not utoderstand what I
ee.d, Poor girl 1 but it Call't be helped.
The 1.1344,41 y says, "1 stooges tue housekeeping comes
etroinge t., yea at dui, )Lujurt TOO Ought to leave It to
your good tidy. Oughtn't he, m.n r
This is • kind ..f w an you cannot quell with an
Imperious gE sea. On the contrary, .he laukba if you dz
her, went as lo kely a• not, giver you • nudge if lOU don't
see the joke quickly enough.
N. one wjartd credit what a confounded nuisance this
women., perpetual grinning has begun., and how persist-
ently she keeps it up. It, for butanes, I diffidently go
marketing and buy • chicken which may be a the*
skinnier than could be desired. she will ask, 'What
'night you bare given that, now, sir r and on my tell-
ing her, she will say, " That's all a chicken, that is r and
sit down and hold her sides and laugh for dye minutes.
Again. if! Nally forth and return triumphant, followed
by • boy carrying an unenabsionle fine eabbege in •
basket, her mirth is unbounded. She gathers up the
cabbage, weighs it in both hands, bange it down, and cries
out loud enough for the whole street to hear. Well,
I'm lure! If this anti a cabbage., and no m stake. Took
two on you to bring it Inoue, and no wonder r
To sum this woman up, she is perpetually, everlastingly
on the giggle, and watches my every movement in • way
that is beyond noresure exult/crawls—to such an extent,
Indeed, that ha .wing when approaching the house, and
yet Mar g, she is lying in wait for use behind a blind, I
feel for all the world as though I were making my &but at
the Theatre Royal, with the critics stumbled its front, and
have to take rare my toes are properly turned out, and
that my arms are 'staging oluily, which I &en COCISCIOUI
they are not, aud Ins banged if I can help it.
In point of fact, I don't Care how soon the week is over
sad we get beck to town, where possibly we may be left
to ourselves, and not worried quite so much.

Meanwhile the final arrangements islative to the
furnishing of the semi-detached villa (Plantagenet House,
Little Battle of Bosworth Field WNW East., Upper
litrsuletom S.W.) are progressing rapidly. The (Jirbe,
acting under my instructions (I have laid in a couple of
dozen poet-card; and drop one into the be whenever
anything occurs to mil are seeing to tiA! details, and the
tevult, if my directions are properly carried out, will be
calculated to surprise.
• •

Thank goodnens the week has actually come to an and.
sed we I. ave this very day.
Oa asking for my bill, Mr. Cheshire Cat says, "You do
make sac laugh, sir."
I reply sarcastically, "Some people weal* see more to
latish at than other ropier
• Yes," she -ay; they let lodgings. Oh ! : you
are a funny oae " sad then she nearly goes into hysterics.
It is really hardly worth noticing a woman of this kind.
so I merely tell her I should like the bill at her earliest
-.ovenware. and as sin has taken a seat in my parlour to
have her laugh out, I put on to) hat and go for a walk Lill
she bss had it.

WlO2O peeked up, and the bill Is paid. I must eenfese
that on auditing the same I was almost disappointed at
not being able to question any of the iteerpa and hirL
Cheshire receiving.pavnient passes over the odd eitlfelloo
in the total with Never mind that, or I'm our. It's
done me several sispenees-tvorth of ewd, and thet's the
truth. Ile! he! ha! ha! ha! Oh ! toy poor side." if-
ad SeMIK.R.

W. &re &etuafl od. The fly la here. The Chasidim la
on Use dooratep aliening harder than ever. And wtna&lT
I aek you ,as calmly a. I tau, " What at r
• • •

We bare quitted blocum Podger.
To the hest of my belief, the greater hut Of f'h.
inhabitants amenable to see us out of the town. and
aPPrtr• if =Yining much more plessed ive are gouts than
they were when we arrived. The boy with the cocmmut
<Ole owneinut aa wall,, I can ase, yet unsold/
dowering in the background.
"Thank &podium that's over. I gar, with & sigh of
relief aa the train starts.
"Yes," says Um Penny.
• •

•
In town M last. In the Cab. On the n'al to (TOW
Strangtenni, • rising suburb with pretentious. only up to
One rather unfinished sod • tilde damp.
At Upper Straggleton. In the Battle of Bosworth
Field Hoed. In front of Plantagenet House. " Hal°
Mere they see I That'll him ! That's bar I Hooray r
A tumultuous welcome ',wait. us ! The Gina are there
deep the doorstep in • row.
Se are te. Twins! Dews take three Twins. It M not
hvl,l,tjme. What does it mean
What are those r oaks Mrs. Penny, indicating the
Twopenny division with a forefinger ruthlessly pointed
thereat
I don't believe—indeed, On refleeltn. I am Quite
Cl!inin —I never yet have properly ex nett the Twine
tgistence.
This u, to put it mildly. rather lively.
(To he Continued.)

IHE DERBY.—Wczoissomr.

ran.

, THE DI GONOOURT FRAUDS.
A &grocery of • birp amount of property. supposed
to be Pert of the proceed.; of the great turf frauds, ha;
lOot been nude in a 'amulet manner. Prerious to the
wren of Herr a person &towering
_his deecripton
'Ailed several times upon Maws. Morrh and Co..
Portmanteau makers, Oxford-street, road made *owe
"WI Purchases lie afterwards called and left •
,P"‘,l2eateau with the manager, desiring him not
qelner it to anyone but kinteelL On Taurlay
lrg'wg. March, having had their sithintion called to
icagth of time the portmanteau had been in their
Poureeson, determined upon anartalalag tispenp.ap of
the contente. This resulted in the &moue? It
nt„tat have beloaged to one M the men—en to be
AUT—Whe wall maybe.' of the above rand. 80.
tides s quantity of wearing apparel, the poriatenteart
contained raring muntereila kir 41tioulthtlY Is atm,
grarZtY, & =lt Izt4t of lingdend =earl
Ott in gold, brides verioia• of r 7.
bie pollee have Wow pawed= prepirti•