The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1882-07-25 00:00:00

ebbs anb CIO'S.

A certain section of our tradesmen—Chose highly
respectable individuals whose duty in life it is to see
people don't give themselves too many 'airs—will, it
I. possibie, have, like the Liosnied Victuallers, to form
a Trade Protection Society, for I loam that an opposi•
tiou of rather a formidable nature has arisen in the
town.

In some foreign lands, :Aline and Japan, I believe,
for insuunn, ties female element in the hair-dresaing
profession is rather a strong one. Souse years ago a
suggestion was made that it would be by no means •
bad opening for the ladies un-employed in this country.
It, however did not come to anything; but upon the
axiom that nothing is as likely to happen as the improb-
able, it is quite possible this ancient town and cJunty
may be the means of resuscitating the idea.

My reasons for hazarding thie conjecture are these.
A few days since • well-known iudividual fell into the
liana of • modern Delilah, only the Delilah of old did
not perform the clipping operation herself, but this
one did. And in response to her seducive whispering,
how much better he woull look if he had ad that
natty hair off, &c.—the late Dr. Kansaly'a lion's mane
could not be compared to it—be agreed that his hirsute
adornments should be sacrificed, and the fair be
should be herself the one t perform the deed.tt
there was a nice lobster lea; and then, "the poor old
man" was placed in • /11103 easy arm-chair; and
then—but, I must have • fresh paragraph for this,
for here comes the agony

Then .be went out and gr audit la a delicate little
instrument, I forget the technical term for them, but
Ills what gardeners use for clipping hedges. There
wasn't much fault to be found with it except that
perhaps it wu decorated with a little more rust than
was absolutely requisite. Then, the work of destruc-
tion commenced ; I am told by an eye witness it WWI
really painful to look at. Off came the grand old
beard, the whiskers were reduced to almost an apology,
and at the conclusion of the performance upon his
cranium, the innocent might have fairly offered him-
self as one of the sandwich men, who with clue
cropped heads, walk about the streets of London,
drused as convicts, and distributing noticu of a play
called "'even years penal servitude." The finishing
touches,l had almost forgotten to etate, were artistically
effected with the household scissors. You would
hardly know him now, and he up himself he has
felt light-headed ever since. Now, then, who's the
next customer?

TROSB who have the misfortune to be compelled to
travel in some of the bomereet and Dorset Railway's
old c niches will feel an excusable envy when reading
the following. which I extract from Truth :—When
the German limprese travels during the mummer, her
railway carriage is protected against the heat in a
very ingenious manner. Its roof is covered with a
layer of turf, which is watered frequently during the
day. 'the rays of the sun, of c rue, cannot penetrate
into the carriage, the tenants of which find themselves
almost as cool as they will eventually be when resting
for ever beneath the sod. But I should like to know
what foundation " Libby" has for believing
Impresses will hereafter be any cooler than ordinary
sinners. Please explain, you clever editor of Truth.

ENGLISH JUSTICI DON'T Seem to differ much in
principle. whether administered in Alexsuidria or
Poole. Iwe that at Alexandria persons arrested and
supposed to have been guilty of looting, when set free
(that is when they have been declared perfectly inno-
cent). are " cupped" over the left ear. In Poole, a a
man is charged with an offence, and the evidence is so
overwhelming in his favour that the Bench of worship-
ful magiatratee is compelled to dismiss the case, he is
let off on paying Me cons. That is the Poole version
of "cupping over the left ear"

Tee POOLE DETACHMENT OF TEI SALVATION AILMT
ia, I bear, about to have another leader. Captain
Reynolds, I believe his name is, ham received orders to
skedaddle. There wee a farewell feed at the Tem-
perance Hall on Monday, and the " thank-God Lam-
saved " soldiers made a most vigorous onslaught on
the tea and cake. Alter that there were varioua
experiences related, and the sisters and brothers who
spoke declared that whatever they had done before
their conversion they would never, oh never, do it
again.

Of course, all who differed from the army, were
sossigued to everlasting torments. Captain Reynolds
was especially strong upon the point. In fact, to quote
from "The Comedy of Error," he was, as Dromio