The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1863-01-06 00:00:00

LAST WEEK'S PUNCH.

A PROBLIN POlll AN ORTZOLOGIST. Statll the
mesons connection that exults between a merry-thought
and a fonoy•bone.
NOBODT COMING To Woix—The difficulty which
-massy young ladies experience in getting married is
mainly owing to their obetinascy in wearing hoops. The
Aids persiet too long in sticking out.
The BueTurr Woitex is Loin:alt.—We know INT.
On Boxing evening she gave a cabman Pigpen*e for
driving her a mile all but eleven yards. Would then
woo more like her

Aar A POLOG T roa Sta °comas Garr.—(No joke /0?
the Predit.)—Wby do we feed our convicts so well ?
Why, soar's, that they may show forth the fruits of
good living.. . .

MATLIIIONIAL N•VlDATlON.—Courtahip is a ship that
goes at the rate of so many lovers' knots an hour, sod
the faster it goes ths sooner it noshes its destination,
which is. of coursa the United States. where • blessed
Linton, free from all discord sod the prospect of future
quarrelling or separation, awaits the happy couple!
( Written by a rest Lover.)
A HOILNIDIALti'D LOGIC. —Curtomer : "Why, yea
don't cell that a bunter, do you r—Dealer : "Well.
I'll tell you all I know about the 'ores. Had him down
tram 'Orneastle Fair last week—put Jitnmey on him,
would'ut 'nth • yard—put him in the break, wouldn't
-draw a bounce. Now, the 'ova never could have ham
serrated for nothing; se he must he • hunter."
N7/1 OF Brian. Itarristi.—The familiarity which
characterises the massage rapped out by the spirits in
communication with a medium, Is equally explicable on
the supposition that they are familiar spirits. The
medium who represents them to be spirits of deceased
persons otherves little eermnony in their invoothion.
That is not wonderful, What medium can be expected
to be particular to • Shad.?
Tag Cgothr or OngAcg.—Sinoe our teat publication
the crown of Greece beis been offered to, and refused by,
the following distinguished individuals :—Mr. Spurgeon.
Hs decline on the ground that his own congregation ii
larger than the population of Greece. —Mr. Paul Bed-
ford. He declines on the ground that he mutat bear
to be sepanthed from Mr. Tool.; but if the Greeks will
choose two kings—nnutely, himself and Mr. Toole.—"be
will speak to Um governor."—Mr. Gladstone. Ho
declines on the ground that ha intends to be Prime
Minister of Eogland.—Mr. Co., Finsbury. He declines
on ths ground that be does not understand Latin, and
dose not wieb to live in Atha—Mr. Elloadin. He do•
dines on the ground that it is extremely difficult to
walk the narrow and dangerous course which is marked
ant for Om individual who will be raised to the elevated
nod perilous position.—Sir George Grey. He declines,
bathos. he understands thth Greece is full of brigands,
whom Is. might be salted on to punish with a severity,
repulsive to his nature. —{ Any further offers and refusals
shall be published fa a anoplemect)
" Paine AND TDB NSW TS•ll.—Ths cartoon in
this week's Puna rettreacoth Old Father Time in the
set rif promoting 1e63. in the shape of • baby in long
thethes, to the merry philosopher of Fleet Street. The
latter coutomplatea the infant through his spectacle.,
sod nsys, "Ha! • very An• balmy indeed—but if I'm
to to godfather I hope he won't kick lap oath • row as
the last one did." Jody, in bearing away the tan.xruy,
looks at the babe over her husband's shouldsr with •
hid motherly expression, wishing it the best pougbk
luck, no doubt.