The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1862-07-15 00:00:00

LAST WEEK'S PUNCH.

TO THE PRINCESS ALICE.

Dom to ns all by those calm earnest eyes,
An early thought upon that fair young brow;
Dearer for that where grief was heaviest thou
Wert sunshine, till be pinned where lune shall rise
And sot no more then, in affection wise
And strong, wert strength to Her who even but now,
In the soft accents of thy bridal vow,
Heard music of her own heart's memories.

Too full of love to own a thought of pride
Is now thy gentle bosom ; no CI best:
Yet noble is thy choice, 0 English bride!
And England hails the bridegroom and the guest
A friend—a friend well loved by Him who died;
He blessed your troth—your wedlock shall be bloused.

INTERXATIONAL IMPOSITION.—Tbe Commissioners of
the International Exhibition require visitors to the pic-
ture galleries to deposit their sticks, and pay • tax of a
penny for the enstody of those •Epurtenaucea. This is
another little picking additional to the per eentage levied
on refreshments, and the sale of useless catalogues. The
walking-stick dodge of these crafty Commissioners is
another devise by which they design to stick it into the
public.
Henn, You MB. 831ITII, OR Any OTRIX MAN.—Can
you tell us what's the difference between a certain
Indian idol and a jug of beer? Oh, you can't,
can't you? Well then, the one is a jug of something
and the other is a Jug-o'.naut. So now let's go and
liquor.
PRETIXNATORALLY NEAT.—Jones, one of cur gifted
composers, was languishing the other day for words for
an opera which he threatened to write. Addressing
himself to one of Mr. Panda's young men he said, "I
saw Phelps In a play that would make a good opera
book. It was called The Man of the World." Inatattly
answered Mr. Punch's young many with • pleas.
Mg smile. "That might be • winning card, you
know; for, as Seneca observes, Expurtst Pertinax
Opera."
AN OPFER TO TRX 900 TR.—Recent scenes in Ireland
°simnel Mr. Punch to make • proposal to the A mericans.
Will they make a swop, and 'give us the niggers in
exchange for the Irish peasantry? We'll throw in some-
thing valuable to make the bargain a fair one. Come,
Davis!

CHRISTMAS AT rifIDSOMMER.—During the late incle-
ment weather, an eccentric gentleman, giving • large
dinner.party, had a roaring fire lighted in the room,
roost beef, plum-pudding, and mince-pie on the table,
and caused the walls of the room, and the looking.
glass and the mantle-piece to be decorated with mistle-
toe and holly."
_ . _

Nov Or tinz BEST BRAND.—Consitiering the effect of
recent revelations of bar scandal it really looks as if the
addition of Q.C. will soon betoken to stand for "Ques-
tionable Character," instead of, or u well as, "Queen's
Counsel." If the various benehee want to purge their
inns of some very perilous stuff, which stpresentendan-
gen their constitution sadly, they sheuldtrY a few more
doses of James's powders ; but with one caution that in
future consultations as to the employment of that whole-
some drastic they ought decidedly either to say more or
to say less. Hair/Ina-half is not a good thing for bad
asses, whether of long or short standing.
GONE ASTRAY, A GENTLIMIAN.—If the Clerk of the
Weather, who has been missing from his duty all May
and Jane, to the great.disathiriaotiou of society, will re-
turn to his disconsolate office, all *hall be forgotten, and
he shall be at liberty to indulge in any antics he likes as
soon as the season is over. If he will not some back at
least he might send the key of the Wind-Cellar. If jea-
lous of Admiral Fitzroy the same shall be discharged.
Don't be • fool, hut come and blow a cloud with your
forgotten ZEPHIB.