The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-05-10 00:00:00

A SEASONABLE QUEST.
WHERE is the Mayflower?
Gone on pilgrimage to America in search of the Spring.
—Punch.

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

The ladies hats at Saratoga are worn end aft, tipped
up and tipped down, wrong side out and foreside to, with
crowns and without, with puffs of hair poked through.—
Saratoga Gazette.
They are BO delighted at Santa Barbara when some
stranger makes his appearance there that, the other day,
when a drowned sailor was washed ashore with twenty-two
cents in his pockets, they put it in their papers : "Another
distinguished capitalist settles among us."

'The distal portion of the metacarpal of the right
wing of a small pterodactyl has been discovered in the
Atlantosaurns beds of Wyoming. This is the fl -ist indica-
tion of the existence of pterosaurian remains in the Jurassic
formation in America. Provisionally, the name Ptero-
dactylus montanus has been given to this new specie"
Fur. her information can be had by addressing a letter to the
beds of Wyoming.

It seems that even the bees are being taught by the
Yankees to adulterate. Some parties at Chicago took the
trouble to place a quantity of glucose at the doors of their
hives, and the insects actually made use of it to sophisticate
their honey.
"How shall we train our girls?" asks an exchange.
Train 'em with about twenty- wo yards of black silk, if you
want to please your girls. A silk ve.vet train would also
make 'em happy.
The other evening a lady was all dressed ready to go
out, when her husband, wearing a beaming smile, entered,
carrying a small package in his hand, and said, "I have got
a surprise for you, my dear; a lovely little present." "Oh I
how nice! " something orig,nal—an ornament for the
hair. Just sit down and let me arrange it. Now shut your
eyes until I tell you to look in the glass. You remember
readibg about that French lady making such a sensation by
wearing a live beetle?" "Yes, indeed; is it something
alive ?—how delightful 1"" Well, this beats a beetle all
hollow. Its just the sweetest little live mouse—" The
impression gained by th, experiment was such that the
husband says he shall not try any more Jokes with his wife—
women don't understand jukes.

A Chicago verdict : "We find him guilty, but not..
very guilty." _

10;1ng mother said—" If you take some of the
,castor oil I'll let you go to the circus." "flow much ?" he
cautiously inquired. "Oh, only a spoonful, just a spoon-
ful," she replied. "And you'll give me some sugar besides?"
he asked. "Of course I will—a big lump" Ile waited until
she began pouring from ihe bottle, and then asked—" And
you'll give me ten cents too?" " Yes, of course" "And
you'll buy we a shoo fly kite?" he went on, seeing his
advantage. "I guess so." "N., kite—no ile," he said, as
be stepped back. " W ell, I'll buy a kite," she replied, fill-
ing the spoon up. "And a veloclpf de ?" " think a
it." "You can't think no castor oil down me," ha ex-
claimed, looking aroinid for his het. " gere--I will, or
I'll tease father to, and I know he will. Come, now, swallow
it down." "And you'll buy me a goat?" "Yes." "And
200 marbles?" "Yes. Now take it right down." "And a
coach dog ?" "I can't promise that." "All right—no
dog, no lie" "Well, I'll ask your father." "And you'll
buy me a pony?" "Oh, I couldn't do that. Now be a good
boy and swallow it down." "Oh, yes, I'll swallow that sttlff,
I will," he said, as hetiapped on his hat. "You may fool
some other boy with a circus ticket and a lump of brown
sugar, bat It'll take a handrea-dollar pony to trot that
caetor oil down my throat."