The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-06-26 00:00:00

,EMENT TO THE LIVERPOOL STANDARD.

A CITARACTERISTIC ANECDOTE.—One day when the two
young Grand Dukes (Alexander and Constantine) were play-
ing with several of their comrades in one of the halls of the
Winter Palace, they suddenly made so great an uproar that
the Emperor Nicholas, having heard it from the seclusion of
his closet, ran forth, out of all patience, to call them to order.
The Emperor hastily opened the door of the hall; but, at view
of the scene there passing, he paused in astonishment at the
threshold. The Grand Duke Constantine was violently hold-
ing Alexander bent under his knee ; he had passed round his
neck a scarf, which he was pretending to draw tight ; his com-
rades were eagerly helping him, whilst Alexander, simulating
despair, was crying : " Pardon !" " What means this game ?"
cried the Emperor. He soon learned that the children had
wished to represent a scene in the history of Russia—the
scene indeed of the death of Paul the First. He addressed to
them a severe admonition ; telling them that it was not per-
missible to represent so odious a deed; he then placed Con-
stantine and his companions under arrest for having made the
heir to the throne play the part of a victim. As to this latter,
guilty of having cried " Pardon !" he was sent to prison. "A
Russian sovereign," said Nicholas to him, "ought never to
ask for pity."—From " L'Enzpereur Alexandre II.," par
M. Leouzon-Leduc.

" TONGUES IN TREES."—Nice observers of nature have
remarked the variety of tones yielded by trees when played
upon by the wind. Mrs. Hemans once asked Sir Walter
Scott if he had noticed that every tree gives out its peculiar
sound. " Yes," said he, " I have ; and I think something
might be done by the union of poetry and music to imitate
those voices, giving a different measure to the oak, the pine,
the willow," &c. There is a Highland air of somewhat similar
character, called the " Notes of the Sea Birds." In Henry
Taylor's drama, " Edwin the Fair," there are some pleasing
lines, where the wind is feigned to feel the want of a voice,
and to woo the trees to give him one. He applied to several ;
but the wanderer rested with the pine, because her voice was
constant, soft and lowly deep ; and he welcomed in her a mild
memorial of the ocean cave, his birth-place. There is a fine
description of a storm in " Coningsby," where a sylvan
language is made to swell the diapason of the tempest. " The
wind howled ; the branches of the forest stirred, and sent
forth sounds like an incantation. Soon might be distinguished
the various voices of the mighty trees, as they expressed their
terror or their agony. The oak roared, the beech shrieked, the
elm sent forth its deep groan, while ever and anon, amid a
momentary pause, the passion of the ash was heard in moans
of thrilling anguish."
THE STUFF THAT OLD LONDON WALL WAS MADE OF.—ln
1841 an excavation for sewerage was commenced at Blackfriars,
and the workmen having advanced without impediment to the
foot of Lambeth-hill, were then stopped by a wall of extra-
ordinary strength. " Upon this wall," says Mr. Roach Smith,
" the contractor for the sewers was obliged to open his course
to a depth of 20 feet, so that the greater portion of the struc-
ture had to be overthrown, to the great consumption of time
and labour. The delay occasioned by the solidity and thick-
ness of this wall, gave me an opportunity of making careful
notes as to its construction and course. The foundation was
made in the following manner :—Oaken piles were first used,
and these were laid in a stratum of chalk and stones, and then
a course of hewn sand-stones, from 3 to 4 feet by 2 feet and 21
feet, firmly cemented with the well-known compound of quick-
lime, sand, and pounded tile. Upon this solid superstructure
was built the wall—composed of rag and flint, with layers of
red and yellow plain and curved-edge tiles, from which it could
not be separated by force." Many of the large stones which
were worked into this ancient wall, evidently had formed por-
tions of buildings of still greater antiquity, being sculptured,
and ornamented with mouldings, which denote their prior use
in a frieze or entablature of an edifice ; the magnitude of which
may be conceived from the fact of these stoness weighing in
many instances upwards of half a ton. Whatever might have
been the nature of this structure, its site, or cause of its over-
throw, we have no means of determining. The probability of
its destruction by the insurgent Britons, under.Boadicea, sug-
gests itself.

LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE.—In the year 1769, two little
cradles were rocked in two very different portions of the
world, one, in an old castellated mansion in a wild part of
Ireland ; the other, in a small dwelling in an obscure island
in the Italian Sea. "What possibility could bring these two
districts of the earth into connection ?—the Castle Daugan, in
the county Meath, and the dwelling-house in Ajaccio, in
Corsica ? In the one cradle lay Napoleon ; in the other the
Duke of Wellington. While one of these names grew great
in Europe, and the conqueror of Italy was acknowledged as
the greatest of captains at the age of thirty-four, at the same
age all India was filled with the glories of the Other. A few
years passed on. Divided still by half the globe, the one
advanced his triumphant march from one end of the Spanish
Peninsula to the other, and the heart of England answered to
every step of his progress ; the snows of Russia for the first
time presented an insurmountable obstacle to the other's
career ; and, at last, while the whole world hung in hope and
terror on the scales, the destinies of the two cradles were
accomplished, and the tremendous meeting took place upon
the field of Waterloo. In our own village streets, or country
lanes, may be running, at this moment, boys who, when they
grow up, may have great influence on the fate of kingdoms—
Arkwrights or Watts, to double the national power, or
Chathams or Peels, to " shape the whisper of a throne." He
was a wise old man, the German schoolmaster, who delivered
his lessons with his head uncovered in obeisance to the future
doctors, governors, councillors, and generals, who might be
sitting on his benches. At the concluding years of James's
reign, Pym was upwards of forty years of age, but utterly
unknown ; Eliot was thirty-three, and also undiscovered ;
Hampden was twenty-nine; and Cromwell himself twenty-four.

[JUNE

VARIETIES.

11' r
LIGHT LABOUR.—Preparing for an illumilla440
-hea
" IT'S ail round my hat," as the hypocrite said
on mourning for his wife. Pi'
THERE are now 267,091 milliners in Englan(l. ,1"
very ungallantly, calls them the " army of vanity. ,reBt
A COCKNEY being told the Megatherium was ot Ireir
that eat trees, said he was himself uncommon fond
WHERE IS FANCY BRE(A)D ?" Tell me whereis r:j,‘,;P:ter
—Shakspearian Song. Answer :—" In the baker s-01,
"MY HORSE, SIR ? Why, I'll wager it to stand AiA
than your horse can gallop ! '
° ri
BRICKS AND MORTAR.—A couple of British art #
with their cannon.
A GRUNTER.—" This is a regular soze-wester,
said when blown overboard. Ole
THE VIRTUE OF PROSPERITY is temperane
of adversity is fortitude. 480
THE fellows of a college wished to have an
chapel, but the proctor put a atop to it. ,130
THE poor fellow who " couldn't hold his 0 ve,
into a worse difficulty by trying another's.
WHY are the reinforcements before Sebastopo et 4
born baby ?—Because it is the long looked-for succ°,,ife
A LADY describing an ill-tempered man said' 01
smiles but he seems ashamed of it."

ONE of the most appropriate names we know o' sly'
Mr. Yocam, who performs most of the marriage ee
Appleton, Wisconsin. t the
A BRUTE, who is enjoying his "six months at
deoo4
mill, for beating his wife, tries to explain awaYlul,
by declaring that he was simply "dressing a /Tiff
QUOTH PATRICK of the Yankee —`• Be dad, 1`03007j
away on a dissolate island, he'd get up the next
go round sellin' maps to the inhabitants." . estlA
ONE GENTLEMAN said to another, who havirl6. r"; 50,."
his health by a diet of milk and eggs, took a wiTe' •11 61'
been egg'd •on to matrimony, I hope the yoke ‘l.l
upon you." ,„„ thr ;tli.
ien:AiNatgTayenuo,dinucaaNtit:tih:blue-stocking having, in a passion' er
:usttolbreanoccdo,lmn aknrldhiesmrp-Eanitii;enrse..lyhion:agll:7..oo;
black liquid, some atrocious wretch declared that
George, the fact is, you see, you're such a 1'
rot*.
gent.: Yes, Julia, dear, but then r4ti „
supply the goose with such lots of saYuocue.,linosir astol;;
DRUNKENNESS.—Some of the domestic evils (4 tit
fe
ness are houses without windows, gardens will' Wit
fields without tillage, barns without roofs, childre
of
principles,clothing,
s morals,artln or manners.dence
photographic art i
—" A ladyglast
week had rplri
by a photographist, and he executed it so well that
Ir .„
preferred it to the original."
al _a *co is Slldef
MEXICAN MILLINERS.—A stranger l
in
_,
the appearance of the milliners' shops, where twel:lt._`"
oftgi eerueff 5
stout men in moustachios are employed in mal.s
gowns, caps, and artifical flowers.
REFLECTION OF A GENTLEMAN "in the Pen'ool
James's Palace—" I wish I were in the place of mYoder
man, outside my carriage, with a bunch of flowers At
nose." honest
To oNE who said, " I do not believe there is 0n,.1.1t oaeoor
in the world," another replied, "It is impossible at
should know the world, but quite possible that Ole to'
himself." lkf
LUNACY AND LONGEVITY.—Lunatics live pro•-rtabc,
good old age, and one of the proverbs upon wIIIIO4Y
itv
founded is, we suppose, the old-established truism io'At
vessels last the longest." ‘`..eri
A RIGID STEEP.—It is related that a coachta-d'snolla
a mountain in Vermont, was asked by a timid 11-pied„
was steep on the other side. "Steep!" exclal:l3,s
" chain lightning couldn't go down without a dr"„ '44 r
BARNUM'S LAST.—The indefatigable Bartin'itlo'4
favoured the prodigy-loving public of New York- sst; tic:a
nouncement of a new marvel, i.e., the " infant fsiles
old, covered with hair, and has already a fall 1414
whiskers !"
THE DIFFERENCE.—GIasses reflect without 0141,11:ee:1 ito;
talk without reflecting. That's the difference be,Loe ,
and glasses. The difference between a carriag'ean'l-dtpe I
carriage-wheel is this—one goes best when tired,
don't.
little
BOOK YOUR EXPENSES.—There was not 0
sense and business discrimination in the Yanhe;p ;01
who, happening to see his son take from his till ti
pay for a cigar, exclaimed authoritatively, " Boo"
book it."
BAGGING THE CRIMEA..—Mrs. Partington, on r0.:4
it was likely our troops would sack Sebastopol if thei
it, observed that she didn't know how they woillabag,
manage to bring such a strong fortress home in a
that if they did it would only sell for rubbish ! la
LORD BACON used to commend the advice of,l,
man at Buxton, who sold brooms. A proud, 13,', tit#
fellow, came to him for a broom upon trust, to who do/
man said, " Friend, hast thou no money ? .1300.( nit
back, and borrow of thy belly. They'll ne'er 141
again; I shall be dunning thee every day."
~„1.,9
IN 'BB, when the Queen went through Temple-J1;130o!
Fleet-street, the lawyers were ranked on one side, ,
companies of the city on the other. Said Mr. 10'5'.04'
lawyer who stood next.him, "Nov, observe the coartlt
1p
they bow first to the citizens, they are in debt ; if 1
they are in law."

~':~
~, , ,

I:,

Co), •
kbah7GAL CAND01:111.—" Oh ! I've no patience with
.my
bat raY dear. He's such a Silly !. Would_ ..you_beheve
40„,__ He s.vent to the Town-hall last night to hear Mozart's
4,'ar, and he Put a quantity of wool into his ears, because
11, of of catching cold."
kek;t:l, a.vsn FOR SALE.—The following advertisement
i.
_,ln an American journal :—" For sale, a good husband,
`ttl;44•lln sound and kind in every sort of harness, especially
046, .
''
'4 cradle He He is of handsome figure and action,. stands
ill. lie without tying, and can trot his babies an hour
'",,,!farn?,e is also a smart traveller, and in every respect a
T1,,k,1,5' beast.
"
plate sA- LEVEE?—The word is derived . from the court
;,t'ail 4 a.t which it was the duty of certammnoblemen to
r„:%late4eting' at his getting up and haiid hi his clothes,
The
le,eVeree tug his stockings, another his shirt, &T.
ti pa' to , ‘was given to these assemblages from the word
''L areas e' IP,. In the evenings they attended to_ assist him
estieheriltiese gatherings were called couchee, from the
tlIeR:1'1111111111114 iloBfV°edoenbettere was the following inscription, in
kllctipi,``ge wait :—" You will find at Trtlmhatue.it7
yolui,
rinkh viell, tl Wine, provided you bring them
oh the spetcraost serve for a description of human life—so
A 8 PrOdeacaDon the temper that events are met with, and
again them.
tatid.,,Tko, e that foresees and provides agai
4titl'ate r0.:14/IDED YANKEE GAL advertises herself as a
Siker liaa, wifedom, as follows :—" A 28 years of age,
1 ' brat understand the 'lkit teb,°fth, ale nor a ' singing angel,
-U
tte, lit I edding-slice. Am in no hurry about marrying,
TabtaericuaTd
_like to find my partner as soon as thirty-
'lli th 41TI3Loitt, ofhotel at Brighton entered, in an angry
. *at, e 81, of an
Itl, eftA" 10 i.,,ping apartment of a boarder, and said, " Now, sir,
''' 'll etilln7,PaY your bill, and you must : I've asked you for
tl'Atli tilt 44, and I tell you, now, that yiPociu-gdeorn,'t"ljeuasvte
pmu3t,
'51,4111%,,1'i1ir4).aY it!" "Good,"____, of it ; I'll stay with
1,141:,
,'/Ig 4,,, / make regular agreement
At „ ~,s_r Ire!
'4o4,4oik.s"°e E has been told.nby_oCn,roker as one of the haepd-
bvlQl',S (4,1
.ever heard. Fe el who had often
.teas
.•41 ',,Ntkble•''' Ineffectually it would seem) for subscriptions
''l;V't k,andertakings, was one daydi_ .telling him that he
sc,lolZViali
tehecteure:sne"eAir nndg y. d you ask it fora sub-
-1 " No, I saw there was
bight:,kilt red Plied the other, " it was so like you."
(i) "as merry at niety-five; Cato studied Greek at
tb Lus arl
/L be? 0/4 ,e 8 Kemble did the same, or rather brus i
l'lt b *lie 'Areek, when he was nearly as old as Cato;
who declared
gokme lck,kll still older, merrily replied to. one
IN ',at anetwell, that, " at eighty-four, it was well that he
I••`rhap,;; and there was the Countess of Desmond, who
• the
1, Lived naerriest of all, for she
L lo„ Arid
~I 0 the a
of a hundred and ten,
qn 'lts A "led from"from cherry-tree then.
),lie ~, 4314,„ a fall
tTllapavz !he schoo''' ..T ScßooL.—A little incident occurred
iille,„teset°llh reia;! In West Lyn!), s the News, which IS
to ' a.llll*-' ask ea ;Pg. One of the sclsses was reciting, and
,the _ ered „ a little American girl who the first man was.
*lth nezt stll'Elat she did not know. The ques,,tiAondawm-asapiru,t,
Ilecl al:l),,arerit°.T., k Irish child who answered, _ Adam, sir,
o,u
1,..1111.(,;Le__el so ..4„,14..f..acti0n.7"1.4" said the first scholar, y
ztance-5......-r3,11 about 1,t—he wasn't an Irishman I"
.
„IN d than la Manners," says Burke, " are of more im-
'44 the Pend. rrslrs• Upon them, in a great measure, the
ti,lalt-„en • ibah•ne la fo hes us but here and there, now
'`11i10:1. deb antra arwe what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify,
Itl. .7,'111, iii,—, barbaris9r refine us, by a constant, stvdy,
At,, 4hey -easible
i,-erdi gil,e „ Operation, like that of the air we breathe
._%e. tig to 44 tneir whole form and colour to our lives.
441qqal l'tl ir •
IY 44444' they aid morals, they supply them,
4 4.74140 bkßuisTlYlßtshem.
" e following is a useful hint t.o
Seclestewila offer viva.v reports to the bench :—There is
I Oia(111 between the advocate and witness. An acute but
,11). 111 It thlte once remarked toaa jury, " The counsel has staitdo,
i 54 qat 14' alld I believe that. A counsel has no righ
, , „,__ tliraki
'Tti t:anerden, itl. , or "hat he believes ; but s.ince. he has told
kat, , believe hinr belief, I will tell you mine ,
_that, were
t ,k4allci3,l, at
yo,
iaii)::l acquit his client, he would be the first
tleE:lgelt° Et NZ! 234vih CROCKET.—He once . visited a
14tiileularl:hideoatlausington, and pausing a moment before a
Ile hileruiler- M--- ,FP''',l,lleY exclaimed, " what a resemblance,en
ille ye._ . and, to his 4,1 e words were scarcel3, spoken.iNh, _
k ,
...,) man whorn Le etsit,hrnent saw standing at his side
V the gallant colonel artunente'cl. " I beg your pardon," NI I known you were'nea-r‘r'nld not have made the remark humble apology- for-n,- 41e, and lam ready to make t 1 T,
g first at the insulted nYie,„Lardonable rudeness ; but
Ything but lovely, and tf;;-'t of Congress, whose face
him—" hang me if I carat
. elo you or to the monkey."
humble
tethe animal he hadcocato-
-11 whether I ought
:V!!llit„..4,_DlD CONFESSION.—Among the traditions of West-
titian, is one of a certain Sergeant Davy who flourished
il.kiriZ
stenries back, in a darker age than the present. He
i•,‘,4,pine d once upon a time, by his brethren of the coif, of
ll 01'; il graded their order by having taken a fee in copper;
q°,4,1141"1,1.nig solemnly arraigned for his offence in their corn-
litekoal,l, appears, from the unwritten reports of the Courts.
Ira r "I Pleas, that lie defended lurnself by the following
.'er.° Cfoc.;nn and voidance :—" I fully admit that I took
'it frog C.---• 3 and not only one, but several, and
`1104::1:,1. him in copper, and
..,„ ees in copper, bu . fees in silver; but I pledge my
Fl 4 'oat I never took a single fee from him in silver until
iRC't all his gold, and that I never took a single fee from
aopper until I had got all his silver—and er— and you don't call
"etradation to our order."

HURRY AND DESPA.TCII.—No two things differ more than
hurry and despatch. Hurry is the mark of a weak mind,
despatch of a strong one. A weak man in office, like a squirrel
in a cage, is labouring incessantly, but to no purpose, and is
in constant motion without getting on a j ot. Like a turnstile,
he is in ererybody's way, but stops nobody ; he talks a great
deal, but says very little ; looks into everything, but sees
nothing; and has a hundred irons in the fire, but none of
them are hot ; or, should one of them be hot, with that he
only burns his fingers.
HINTS FOR HOME COMFORTS.—A short needle makes the
most expedition in plain sewing.—A leather strap with a
buckle to fasten is much more commodious than a cord for a
box in general use for short distances ; cording and uncording
is a troublesome job.—There is not any real economy in pur-
chasing cheap calico for gentlemen's shirts. The calico cuts in
holes, and soon becomes bad coloured in washing.—Sitting to
sew by candle-light by a table with a dark cloth on it is inju-
rious to the eye-sight. When no other resource presents itself,
put a sheet of white paper before you.—People very commonly
complain of indigestion : how can it be wondered at, when they
seem by their habit of swallowing their food wholesale to forget
for what purpose they are provided with teeth.—There is not
anything gained in economy by having very young and inex-
perienced servants at low wages; they break, waste, and destroy
more than an equivalent for higher wages, setting aside com-
fort and respectability.—Enquire Within.
EXALTED PROMOTION OF AN IRISH WlDOW.—Seedy
Mahomed, soon after his elevation to the throne of Morocco,
about the middle of the last century, was desirous to complete
the defences of Fez, and knowing the superiority of the
English in engineering, he applied to the English government
for the aid of some person skilled in the art. The request
was acceded to, and an experienced sergeant of the Sappers
and Miners having been selected as a fit person, was placed at
the disposal of his Majesty. Seedy Mahomed received him
with much kindness, and alloted a house for his reception.
The sergeant continued in the service of the Sultan for some
time after lie had completed the works at Fez, and at length
died, leaving his widow without issue. After his interment,
the widow, who was a pretty Irishwoman, sought an interview
with the Sultan, in order to obtain a pension and the means
of returning to her own country. His Majesty was much
struck by her fair and comely appeatance, and treated her
with condescension and benevolence. That interview resulted
in the poor Irish widow becoming the Sultana of Morocco.—
Conolly's History of the Sappers and Miners.
PARODY oc THE SPEECH OF BRUTUS.—( By an American
Editor.)—An editor " Out West" thus adapts the oration of
Brutus, in an appeal to his non-paying subscribers and
patrons :—Friends, Patrons, Subscribers, and Advertisers—
Hear us for our debts, and get ready that you may pay ; trust
us we are in need, and have regard for our need, for you have
been long trusted; acknowledge your indebtedness, and dive
into your pockets, that you may promptly fork over. If there
be any among ybu, one single patron, that don't owe us some-
thing, then to him we say —step aside: consider yourself a
gentleman. If the rest wish to know why we dun them, this
is our answer : Not that we care about cash ourselves, but our
creditors do. Would you rather that we should go to gaol,
and you go free, than you pay your debts, and we all keep
moving : as we agreed, we have worked for you : as we con-
tracted, we have furnished our paper to you : as we promised,
we have waited upon you : but, as you don't pay, we dun you.
Here are agreements for jobwork, contracts for subscription,
promises for long credit, and duns for deferred payment. Who
is there so mean than he don't take a paper if any, he needn't
speak—we don't mean him. Who is there so green that he
don't advertise ? —lf any, let him slide —he ain't the chap
either. Who is there so bad that he don't pay the printer ?
If any, let him shout—for he's the man we're after. His name
is `Legion,' and he's been owing us for one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, and eight years—long enough to make us poor
and himself rich, at our expense. If the above appeal to his
conscience doesn't awake him to a sense of justice, we shall
have to try law, and see what virtue there is in writs and
constables.