The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1865-11-21 00:00:00

" hitutiok has charms to soothe the sayij bloat."

My show drew like • six.oz-te•rn. Ai I was dim-
kanting on my exhibiehon in my yewsnally dowry stile,
praisin up my moral wax-wark figgers, an' on my
onekaled oollekshun of savij beasts, all brought to that
perfickshun of yomility as makes 'ern as harmliss as A
sackin' babe onSmn, who shod cum along but a elderly
lookin' person o' the male perawaslinn.
Bee he, "Mister Ward, yure the happist of men
Hein. Well may the world envy ye. Yer show is not
onny moral In its tendency, but interlsotly elevatin.
Yer Dame 'll be handed down to our posteriors in
grateful feeling of remen.branse. And yer hey rit a
book." "0 that I had rit • book, Its bin my life-long
ambitlOn to have my name handed down to posteriority
in the annals of fsme," "Every man has his fort,"
see I; "what may or fort be r I' e dun 9ammit fn
the abuser bizness," sea he. "Didn't yer fine ft dick
putty aloes to for fingenir see 1. "Its laity stioky
stuff." "Ibis,' sea he. 'Mush dun in ths shag/01nm
in Weymouth ?" I sit. " lididlen," sea he. "I've
heerd," see I, "that the onny way to kip up the
konstitoostom in tins air sitty is by suokin shtigsaT
allelic" Finites be didn't had like this ere goak, I
turn'd the tionversasbun, ale pored • little lie into the
wooed I'd maid.
Ile lookt kinder &mails at this, an' I tickld 'i'n under
the ribs a bit, to use • figgemtif ezpieshun. The
upshot of all was, he Lit if I'd except his keerd. I
lookt at it and sid it was II invite to the Mare's dinner,
"I air rayther partioklar," seal, "bout the kumpny 1
mixis in," lorans I, "I shed lose all morril inflooensonto
the mines of the paple, if I was ony wane keeht in She
kumpny of blaggarda" See he, "Mr. Ward, I see by ,
yr book pare • man of strong virtoo. I swore U, yr
nidn't leer of no contamminatin inflooenses at m•
dinner. They will be all born jintlesnen as air thair."
"Its a bait°, sea "U paternise my show and lie
help et your dinner. "And inebbee," see he, with a
wink, "when yu prent another addiahnn of yr book,
yu'll Jilt put in a kind of addender, that when 10- visited
this grate silty of Waymuth, yu'd the honner of dinin
with the Mare."
The dinin saloon at the tavern was lit up likes
pains, Taller candles was dispenst with, and in thin
stied was glass hod* Lumen gas, and sparktin away like
din:tends It brot to my mice my wife's brite eyes in
my koortin das, The 2 things was so user alike. As
for the kumpny, they air did look like jsotlemen.
Hadn't I node difrunt, I shad ;stuck 'em alnor show-
men from the grate Hnighted atafte4 They was all so
oordy•L They seem'd to hey no polerticks no prin-
steles. They was like wun man. To see 'em shake eaeh
tither by the ban, and larf and gook, yu'd never bleeve
they'd b-long'd 2 the 2 grate* opposishan fackshuns in
the &aft. But such is life. •
Arter we'd tunk't in all we wonted of miter's kum•
forts, a chill o' horror ran'd threw my veins. That
they was-2 figgers slippin in the dore way and down
dna/ to the wall 011 ther toss, like a kat about to sees
her pray. I'd sin bled red Injins in ther wild atait—
I'd sin the ferosbni nigger, but the goatlike betas that
" met my wondren gaze," as the poit see, warn't like
these are: dad they be Italyin Bandits, or Use Pope's
mimerys, thaiken wen we'd around ourselves in ttre
flowen bola they'd murder as in sole bled, an rob us of
our spine ? "Take care o' yer pockets cittersens,"l
o:churned quite astral, 'pon whieh the cumpoy staird.
I pinted over my shoulder to the 2 strange individoola.
'Thay air be as harmeleu as dues,' sea my rite han
nabnr. " What's theribiznere in this air ono arable sernbly,
then," I ext. "0,"-aes he: "our mair haven a itch for
roP_PTisritY, thay air via' to skratoh him a bit."
' Her they got long finger nab.?' I inkwird "I was
spekin in a urger," sod my ;Aber *gin, larks, "Thay
air B the press." "Air they all the presses yn've rat
in this air sitty ?" I Mat venters' to ax. "Nosed he,
but these be the moast faithless."
I mooed a bit. Presently I sat if this air was the
way they treated the Press in Grate Britton "How?"
he inquired. Sea I, ".Gittin 'em to cum to prase yer
really relisens admit givin 'em a dinner." "Moistly,"
he sea, 'the Press dines with the kumpny, but this
was 2 grand for the Press. We shad be letten ourselves
down. But they've had dinner," continerd he.
"They've bin down stares lielren the plates and picken
the bosses that was took from the table when we'd
dun." I etaird. My Iran, seeing this, continered
"These 2 Presses'," mid he, "be like spanyels. The
moor they are kickt the more they'll fawn and lick yer
hams and lice. The other Presses be moor injependent,
an we didnt invitem—they oodn't pickup our nets."
I set and limend to the speeches. The more I heard,
the more my feeling becurn pressed down. end I ever,
by moral swayshun, hap to sivvilize cm! Twos my
mishan however, and I'd try.
IsymLby they had the manners to drink my helth.
What a gloryus oppertunitty to give toy fast morril
lesson and pint the rode to vertue. As soon as the
hollerin had nest, I Tie upon my fit. The Press lookt
like 2 stuk pigs. It had such • effect onto their nerves
irritability that all the time I was *akin they sot like
2 statoota. They evidently lost all self-command, an
oudn't take 1 noabe. For the gidanoe of Eater Agit, lire
rit tha speech myself. I'll guy it in ur nut edishan, for
to be *warned is tabs damned.
A. WARD.

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