The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-07-24 00:00:00

SUPPLEMENT TO THE LIVERPOOL STANDARD

rule others.
Labitual discontent.
misfortunes, there
• a young lady to
man in clover mar-
Arish clerk said on
he water—it smiles
as the man said to
a.
the boy said to his
said when he was
due.
grave is but a plain
'iered.
less value than the
_lion, and to dislike
Litman nature.
,ends to encourage
ifferent, and telling
you.
think themselves
with them. -
to his " all round"
horse at an empty
most of the castles
the foundation.
lion made one of an
found that all the
ies, and succeeding
good gracious me !
Lk ?" said a gentle-
Why," she replied,
place."
to stain the cheeks
;ill reddens portions
\t?d with the "upper
in a balloon forty-
important aphorism
.ually impair a man's
Tything should be
,ts should be printed
i of the human spe-
no one can discover
REVOLITTION.—The
, the sovereign, the
she people.
among the worst of
stagnant and too
:s which constitute
ipole what it would
view to exclude the
said to have replied,
i, asserts, that when
Le as when a lobster
immediately, and

lcs to you," said a
~11411v11 All • , - -" for what have said in
tat hat ' said the conscious witness, " but just
Fo VT,r,,t sq"
.4k D, to el 17* --BY an advertisement headed thus, the
\ettlt• tjlied'ieen. invited to purchase " The Deep-Toned
tilitot,Jets to concert pitch," for is. 7d. in postage
'tirt ktk 'lll,ll, °4 who remitted the stamps received in return
Laktklelit4ti„L‘tvhisti.
;N. 11(t Otrorde Hungarian war, a
.recruitwho was going
10,ethad
Dear:seihaftertshoav ng 1 li the cuts,
u fl the enemy. An old
ttitlel4lt4l% ttitlL Never : mindec the parrying; only you cut,
411('Y dkl! ParrY."
ntia tniti 4PRlsnmircs.—l had a good specimen of de-
tlint4jekb.4lY stay in this city (Cincinnatti). I sent-for
.4o
to measure for a coat, and he returned for
ick h en
" `°•hi,a a Proceeding was not republican, and that
Lin /riA.lin CaptainCro; Marryatt.
4kalt-i;slig a field came in contact with a donkey
o'll4a' Nt4l)4 daylight hideous" with his unearthly
N,i,,llliettne.4"l3od a moment in astonishment. Turning
to
,r'% e eilraPtured with the song, he remarked—
h„Nkt‘jo ar that bird has for music, but he's got a
ve It °ik!t°o4elxt•E
"11%-iltttllt TiZ Gout
—An alderman called,, on Dr.
6,11 es a k CIWIllg dialogue took plate : Doctor, I
'll' of ta'''„eek. "h_b,cla to the out ; what shall Ido to arrest
BWategr and a ton of anthracite three
the one and carry the other up three

REMORSE is the echo of a lost virtue.
DANIEL DANCER, the miser who possessed an annual in-
come of £3,000, after wearing his old hat thirteen years, was
prevailed upon to purchase a more decent one from a Jew for a
shilling; but, instead of wearing it, as he intended, he sold it
to a servant for eighteen-pence, and was highly gratified by
clearing sixpence by the transaction.
A LIKENESS NOT LlKE.—Gilbert Stewart, the celebrated
portrait-painter, is said to have, once upon a time, met a lady
in the street at Boston; who hailed him with—" Ah ! Mr.
Stewart, I have just seen your likeness, and kissed it, because
it was so like you." " And did it kiss you in retnrn ?" " Why,
no." " Then," said Stewart, "it was not like me."
OBJECTS OF LlFE.—Live more for others than yourself,
and do not think that the end of talent is to make everyone
miserable about you. He is the best philosopher who wipes
away most tears. It is the curse of genius to torture others
upon its own whimsicality, as boys do cockchafers on a bodkin,
merely to see the unhappy wretches spin.—From Home
Thoughts.
DR. JOHNSON ON SLAVERY.—BosweII and Johnson were
conversing upon the subject of a planter who so flogged his
slave that he died. The doctor thundered savagely. " Well,
but," said Boswell deprecatingly, " I have always held the man
with a black face to be a connecting link between a man and a
brute." " Sir," said Dr. Johnson, rolling his huge form from
side to side, " and I have always held the man with a black
heart to be a connecting link between a brute and the devil."
A STUPENDOUS HALL.—It is believed that the largest room
in the world under a single roof, and unbroken by pillars or
other obstructions, is at St. Petersburgh, Russia, and is 650
feet in length and 150 feet in breadth. By daylight it is
used for military displays, and a battalion can conveniently
manceuvre in it. In the evening it is often converted into a
vast ball-room, when it is warmed by sixteen prodigious stoves,
and 20,000 wax tapers are required to light it properly. The
roof of this structure is a single arch of iron, the bars alone on
which it rests weighing 12,830 pounds.
HORSE TiaLs.—The tail of the horse is considered an em-
blem of dignity in Turkey, from the fact that a Turkish army
once lost its standard in battle, when the leader, to inspire
the drooping courage of his men, cut off the tail of a horse,
hoisted it on the head of a spear, and rallied his force to vic-
tory. As a reward, he received military promotion, the em-
blem of which was a horse's tail. The rank of the owner is
known by the number of tails he is allowed, the highest
being three, and the officers are called " Pashas of three
tails."

THE TOBACCO QUESTION.—Suppose a tobacco chewer is
addicted to the habit of chewing tobacco fifty years of his life,
and that each day of that time he consumes two inches solid
plug, it amounts to six thousand four hundred and seventy-
five feet, making nearly one mile and a quarter in length of
solid tobacco, half an inch thick and two inches broad. Now,
what would the young beginner think if he had the whole
amount stretched out before him, and were told that to chew
it would be one of the exercises of his life, and also it would
tax his income to the amount of two thousand and ninety-four
dollars ? _

LEFT-lIA.NDED COMPLIMENTS.—Curran used to relate with
great glee a mishap which befel a Roman Catholic bishop who
went up to the castle to adulate the lord-lieutenant. The
Roman Catholic opposition had been neutralised by promises
retributively unfulfilled for nearly thirty years. It seems one
of Lord Cornwallis's eyes was smaller than the other, and had
acquired a quick, perpetual, oscillating motion. The addressers,
who had never seen him, had elaborated their compliments in
the country. His excellency was on his throne, in high state,
when Bishop Lanigan, of Kilkenny, at the head of his clergy,
auspiciously commenced :—" Your excellency has always kept
a steady eye upon the interests of England"—the room was in
a roar. Never," said Curran, " did I hear its match, except in
the Mayor of Coventry's compliment to Queen Elizabeth—
" When the Spanish armada attacked your Majesty,they caught
the wrong sow by the ear I"
KIND BUT SIMPLE. Two sailors, one Irish, the other English,
agreed reciprocally to take care of each other in case of either
beinc, wounded in an action about to commence. It was not
long before the Englishman's leg was shot off by a cannon ball ;
and, on his calling to Paddy to carry him to the doctor, ac-
cording to the agreement, the other very readily complied ; but
he had scarcely got his wounded companion on his back when
a second ball struck off the poor fellow's head. Paddy, who,
through the noise and disturbance common in a sea engage-
ment, had not perceived his friend's last misfortune, continued
to make the best of his way to the surgeon. An officer ob-
serving him with a headless trunk upon his shoulders, asked
where he was going. "To the doctor," said Paddy. " The
doctor !" says the officer ; " why, you blockhead, the man has
lost his head." On hearing this he flung the body from his
shoulders, and looking at it very attentively, " Why," says he,
" he told me it was his leg."
SLANDED.—SIander is a gift exclusively human. So little
of mere animality is there in it that it is practised only in the
fullest perfection amongst the most refined and civilised of the
human species. A commonplace person slanders only his
enemies, and that, too, on the strong provocation of rivalry, or
some other powerful and pressing interest ; but to fashionable
idlers slander is daily bread; and there are never two or three
of them gathered together but it is the staple of their ordinary
discourse. If it were requisite to give an accurate definition
of what constitutes polite conversation, one might describe it
as turning wholly on persons, and never venturing upon the
discussion of things. Go into twenty fashionable drawing.
rooms, or boudoirs, and in nineteen of them you will find the
theme of discourse to be neither literature, politics, nor science,
but the merits (that is to say, the demerits, for the absent are
ever in the wrong,) of some person who has just left the room,
or has otherwise incidentally been brought upon the tapir,