The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1883-05-15 00:00:00

A HARD @RIND.

A hand-organ man was In Ming his war up • surburhati
Wait yesterd.r. when a by met lyre and asked : "How
many tunes do you play?" "Z.zteen shun is—olce,
scheest tunes." r plied the man. fivher us fond of
music. but he is late deaf," conCnufid the hoe. "Oh
tat in.kes no difference, I make • him hear." Tn., tor
lei the way u$ the .teiet to where a plaster bast .4 Sr
Isaac Newton had been seranged in a hay 1.10,10.. to 1.. k
like • living man, and the Italivi .pit on his haul and
began the crank. He gromd MIL all toe WOO, in rotati.e,
and thm began at the bottom and ground back ..n t
scale till he had g. t all the tunes in V.e ram t of the b z
again. The m.n in the hay worl di in't move a bar,
ani the (Wien dew a long le, all and airhed " Puny
wear ninseek —make a him hear coin " He ran eight
tunes, sat then threw some gravel at the window. Tn.
boot didn't even work it. • urn, and the Italian leased the
organ oath. fence and loudly sang:—
'0 who vball. Oinks of ma some mow,

When I am far
The raven other tune. were rattled &I at • lively pace,
while the men c meted. whiatied, kicked on the fence. and
eproutagsid dog fight, in order to attract the deed WM'.
a' tention. ''Sing louder—play herder" calla the bty
from the nett erect corner. The grinder 11.01(0,1 e brace
for hie feat, unbuttons I his wed, and the way he roared
brought out the neighbour. by the ea dm. He It. pt hi.
eyes on the beet and gave no heed to the crowd, rural the
organ box was emoting hot when he let up on Ye grind.
Resting the mimic on toe ground, he hasped over the fence
and got • moans look at the •irtifn. Hie quiet grin Wad
into • look o woe and mieety sod morder, and getting his
eyes on the boy with the red nett*, be ran him four
streets and under a carpenter's shot,, before a still, email
voice whiaperwd that he had better hold on.—iesertierraw
Paper.

"lELiTI7IO'S POWDISR." SO celebrated and preeely
unv4l.d in destroying Boos. FLZSS, Borrues, Monis,
and all insects, whilst quite hermiets to dowesioc
s eell everywhere to 61 and lc tics It is clean in use.
All furs sod woollens shot' d he well powdered before
pottier swey. B•ware of imitation,.
Moos CgrriifiCATlll.—lt is no vile droned staff.
pretending to he made of wonderful foreign roots, barks,
on, sod pulls I op by In bogus cell Hirai. of pretended
intraculons cures, but a eimp'e, pure, eff.,otive medleiee,
made of wellanowin valu ibis remedlee, test forni•hes Is
own certificates by its curse. We refer to Hop Bitters,
the p oo.t sod beet of medicines. 8e Advt.
SNO[INO. —Tao Mall no, walk,us fogetSer—one
smoker, one an admirer of Him! Jent "C noterblset "
" Wfa.t are you satoklur A cigsr—ciu't you
"I mean bow much did It cost "In ciente" "Alt?
How loos hen* you been smoking r "About 30 y.sru"
Ah.us 30T15,51 Why, with te money you have spent
on cigars you cull hen- bought use of the finest houses
on the avenue b.re r "Don't you smoker "Ii I never
have smoked." "Then ehow me your boon.

OCT OF HIS ZIAIIIIST.-0a one oc lemon Lord Hillis was
&musics his company with an account of a sermon he had
beard in a church in Italy, in which the priests reletyd
the miracles of Sr. Anthony, who. when on ehipboard, ,
attrrlted the Ashen by his preaching. so that in order to
listen to tin. pions discourse, they bold their heade2ut of
the water." "I can well believe the miracle, said
Erskine. "Ho. so " W ben yuar lordship. was at church
thy* wey u least ono het out of the water.
Tao anecdote to related by Hr. Barnum In ilinetrafion
of the axiom that drinking as habit that grows—'• lot
winter two of my elephants began shaking with chills one
morning. Toe keepers ran down into the Tilly,. sod ot
.tx gallons of whisky. Hatt& returning, three gallons
men given to each olephset. fertanately it cured them
They liked the artiSdal warmth it superinduced. Next
mornlnt, when the keeper rem» to them. he found bosh
yiy9bsute ybaktog :th sa.pht and 111%16. 'No, yen doll I
Ibe shoutei, you ere well enough to-Jay, and they it .pped
'behind."

lIIPSOTED RAILWAY SIGNALLINO ST NIGHT. --To • recent
Aircueslon on D,loonisno. or colour bl.wines., it •a
pahlirly statrd thsta new sys'ens of night rad eay e goal.
Ifni would be shortly introdur4l, by which necidents
ressltinA from the inability of the enzine-driyer to di.
tinguish a red from a white light—s visual defect mom
common than is generally suppoesd—would be rendered
an imperlbill,y. Mr. James Cleminson, the railway
spgineer, and Mr. Andrew W. Toler. 3olot inirenton of the
now 'foram, prop.. now( at night the ord nary
semnphore signal, with the difference that the trots or
point re IBM to be boxed in and illuminated so so to pro.
duce bends of float; their position as by day, and not the
odour, s coiffeur whether the line is blorkei or clear.
HOLLOWAY S OINTSIXT AND PlLLA.—Diseases of the
shin. ringworm. searyy. scorbutic ertagetioDs and swelliturs,
sore he oda. and the most inveterate shindies*. tm which
the human frame is subject, cannot t s treats4wlth amore
rlrsjaawfiiretiacabe. soreferctiatrilx"onallec.eattlat9tOttbrustadatod
purity the blood, that those (Weems Ire stoic, eradicated
from‘he system, and a lasting cure obtained. They are
equally 'efficacious in the cons of exam 'tattoos, burns,
melds, glandular swelling*, ulcerous woo. Is, rheumnioiwn
and costrarted and stiffened joint,. Them* medicines
opiirete mildly hut surely. The aural in-et od by them
ere not temporary or epplirent 'opty, but complete and
oteiroatoent
. .

;ling many boon there la no Imd," nid tb•
Preacher, and, had he tired in these days end been •
frequenter of Madame Ttisand'a famous exhihition. he
might &Bohan .11 thet of coning many portrait sued-ds
there is no end. Hardly • week pawn thatecion new and
interesting flaunt is not eddy] to thus already gint,tm
rolleotion, whlet has now quite outgrown its present
which wII therefore, be moved shortly to more
ei.nliVe lb' I.kost addition to the calories' ie
• life-sin model of Lord Charles Berea° d, the salient
captain of the Condor, whose name wee • houanold word
during the Kg:rutin campaign, .0 esker woo for hie
; ',hicks little gonhost CO Oe siege of Alex snarls, the
kiruiree slgnal. ' Well doe., Cmior r The flaws
stands in the &gentian ww-noop, among the rt'mr
celebrities of that " police overatien." It is en ego-Vent
likeness, and tho frank, dalbtaa, ClLlol4ik. e;rueesion is
reslie d -

—hck POW+ is • EOM who Iliieer
limited an °pp rrtunity, or put off for to-morrow the joke
that oats be dons to-day. Going down the street last
Wedneedey be wee accosted by a little nervous man who
had an itupeditneat to his speech. fieid the Wander—
" 0-an you Wall ma w-where I can tv.es% 84-eam• t-t-tin
r With much pleasure. sir," replied Jack, who
realised the position at once, and having directed his
interlocutor to the shop of • neightruirtng ir rnmoneer, by
• somewhat oircolous rote, hurried off to the coot by.
abort cat. Noe the ironmonger wee having his dinner to
a little hark parlour, but when Jack entsrrA the premises
he came forwmd triskly, bowing and rubbing his hands
trnSches r In that peculiarly servile manner that Is sitar .0.
ic of the British shopkeeper. "Do y-roa t,t4k
t-r. r saki Jerk, assuming • stammer. "Oh, ye., sir •
certainly. s lit
ir." ''-grgood long on. r "Yee, sir: a sus. de* • w..ity eatharp points "Yee, :
short point" " W-wall then, sett on 'any, had
till I c-0•11 solo," Driving! "giv,4 hi. order..- jhar
thought it prent to retire at ono°, as thee...re
heavy article, within OW ecosi. of the proprir-t re
bands. The old man had hardly roolati down and retorned
to his meal—whith had also coo'e t down unpleasantly—
' when the " real Simon pure " entered the shop, end main
the ironmonger came f ',eh, "wishing hi. h..d. with
iheiribta some in imoerceptihte water." "Do y•TOU
vuoicer said Use little man, reickily the door was
4.1.4„..50 t ,r 4 „looms, enocesefully ayol4-4 she rimer
=izreiglit ared tbe ;emote hurled it him. An SO the
ne by eke deal* la ferret/Mona weeds, the
prisms says &at they "ma boo much on soft," rid "lie
fa ad gobs tO cittOpllolol ntAto =As duals."