The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-07-03 00:00:00

,ARD.

before', with a prolixity which nothing could check,
and a monotony that sounded like the eternal ticking
of a clock. At length, he made way for a fanciful
figure, a sort of compound between a howling derveesh
and Jim Crow, who went through a series of unnatural
gyrations and contortions to the music of some un-
known instrument more frightfully ear-piercing than
a cat-call. Anon we were lifted into the air by an
unseen genie, and plunged into a hot-bath, which, by
some ingenious mechanism, was so constructed as to
surround the council-chamber of our native city, and
therein we were compelled to swim slowly round,
listening all the while to a protracted debate on the
weary subject of the Annuity-tax. Suddenly we were
transported far away into central Africa, over Saharas,
and among turning sand drifts and whirling pillars,
from whose approach red-maned lions galloped, with
an appalling roar, to an ancient temple in the City of
the Sun, at the gate of which we were met by a cour-
teous griffin, who laid his claws upon his heart, assured
us of a cordial welcome, and requested our attendance
at a banquet of fricassed Arimaspians. Presently, in
strode Odin, armed with the hammer of Thor, and with
one tremendous blow reduced our friend the griffin to
pulp, and possibly might have done the same execution
to ourselves, had not Freya interfered, and desired us
to pledge her in a draught of mead out of a scull,
marked and numbered after the lively fashion of the
phrenologists. Then there was heard a loud whirr of
wings above, and with a shrill shriek the Scandinavian
deities dispersed into fetid smoke ; for the roof opened
above our head, and down came swooping Jupiter
horsed upon his eagle. Right jovial was his air as he
politely desired us not to discompose ourselves, for he
merely intended to amuse himself for an hour or so by
looking on at a dance of the demigods and heroes.
Instantly the scene was changed. The temple was
transformed into a modern ball-room, splendidly lit up
with an orchestra in which Apollo, who looked re-
markably-like Monsieur Jullien, presided; and in a trice,
amidst the unextinguishable laughter of the gods—
for the whole hierarchy of Olympus was there—Her-
cules, Achilles, Julius Caesar, and Napoleon, dashed
like maniacs into the intricacies of the reel of Houlakin.
Then there was a call for a song from Homer, but no
sooner had the fine old bard uplifted his voice, than
the two peacocks, which stood on each side of Juno,
set up such a scraighing, that every god, goddess,
and demigod, bolted with their fingers in their ears,
and we, in our attempt to escape, fell plump down a
draw-well, and landed on the back of a crocodile.—
Blackwood' s Magazine.
OUR OUTPOSTS ON THE TCHERNAYA.-011 the 25th
I rode to our outposts on the Tchernaya, and after-
wards completed the circuit of the position. Descending
from the plateau by the Woronzoff-road with a com-
panion, we crossed the ground where the light brigade
made their memorable carge, to the low heights be-
tween the plateau and the Tchernaya, leaving behind
us the hills from which the Turkish outposts were
driven in the affair of Balaklava, and which were now
again occupied by our Ottoman Allies. The plains
were in every part covered with luxuriant herbage and
flowers, varying in character with the ground, the
lower portions being ,stimetimes moist and filled with
marsh plants, while a shorter growth clothed the
upland slopes. At the base of the low heights, which
were now occupiect by a French division under Can-
robert, six field-bhtteries were posted, the heights
themselves were covered with the French tents, and
bowers made of brandies ; and the guns in the Rus-
sian works above the ruins of Inkermann tried vainly
to reach them with shells, which, for the most part,
burst high in air midway. A dell in the midst of
these heights led to the road along which we had
marched from Mackenzie's Farm. The bridge by
which we had crossed the Tchernaya was uninjured,
and on the further side the French were constructing
a tete-du-pont or earthen work, the faces flanked by
parapets for musketry on the hither side of the river.
We rode along the bank, which was lined with
Frenchmen and Sardinians fishing, and who appeared
to have good sport, pulling out fish something like
trout ; one soldier caught a carp of a pound and a
half. The meadows here, though they must in win-
ter have been deep swamps, contained the re-
mains of many burrows where the Russians had
bivouacked, the branched roofs of which had
fallen in. At a neighbouring ford several hundred
French cavalry were watering their horses, the men

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in their stable dresses, with carbines at their
backs, while a strong picket, fully accoutred, was
drawn up beyond the river to proteet them from any
sudden descent the enemy might make from the oppo-
site heights, where a few Cossacks were occasionally
visible. Close by, on the opposite bank, is a tall
conical hill held by the Piedmontese, who have here
their advanced post of light troops, dressed in green
tunics, and hats with bunches of green feathers,
like theatrical bandits, and armed with short
rifles. The back of this hill forms, with a steep slope
opposite, a narrow gorge, where a pretty stone bridge
spans the Tchernaya, and from this point branches
the aqueduct which used to supply Sebastopol. Be-
yond, the valley widens again into meadows sprinkled
with trees, and tinted glowingly with flowers ; in some
places knolls are so covered with purple, red, or
yellow, as to look like great nosegays. In the midst
of a grove stands the village of Tchergoum, with its
large octagonal tower, and up the road behind it a
Cossack may be seen sauntering towards some of his
comrades who appear on the heights, and occasionally
fire at those who advance furthest from the outposts.
There are plenty of Russian burrows here on both
sides of the river, and the Allies in their advance made
spoil of abundance of arms and furniture, which they
disposed of to visitors, one of whom was offered a
piano a great bargain, of which he was unable to
avail himself, as it was rather too large to put in his
saddle-bags ; while in another quarter a post-chaise
was for sale. Had the same purchaser got both, he
might have taken home the piano in the post-chaise.
—Blackwood's Magazine, for July.