The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1876-11-04 00:00:00

AMERICAN HUMOUR.

A Wisconsin editor speaks of a wind which "Just
sat on its hind legs and howled."
A Yankee editor, recently married, states editorially,
"We are living at this moment under absolute despotism."
An Oregon town got on a land-slide recently and
deposited itself in another county. And now the dishonest
residents of that peripatetic village coolly refuse to pay taxes
on the ground that they don't belong to that county.

When a Bcston girl breaks her engagement with a
man, and her friends expostulate with her, she only has to
say his views on the theosophtc doctrine of cosmogony are
loose; and they realise at once how impossible it is for any
true woman to risk her happiness with such a person.

The neatest style of fashionable pantaloons in New
York is described as "a light grey ground, with the Castle of
Heidelberg in dirk blue on one leg, and Mount Vesuvius
vomiting forth fire on the other."
One San Francisco paper in the morning reported
the sad death of a deaf and dumb girl. Its evening rival, not
to be outdone, gave also her last words.

A Kentucky paper contains a report of a recent
wedding in which • the bride was not particularly handsome,
but her father threw in seven mules, and the husband was
satisfied."

An eccentric old Yankee, who lives alongside of a
graveyard, was asked if it was not an unpleasant location.
" No,'' said he, "I never jined places in all my life with a set
of neighbours that minded their business so stiddy as they
do."
A Minnesota youth struck a horse with a gun to
make him'ko. The horse, three fingers, and the gun went
off so quickly that nobody feels quite c,anpetent to say
which started first.
As the rain falls impartially on the just and the
uplink so the pale moonbeams, that lend inspiration to the
lovers vows, creep through the cracks in a hen-house and
show the midnight naturalist where the best pullet is
roosting.
A New York paper says that the middle-aged lady,
ot respectable connection, "who never nursed a tree or
flower," has gone South to marry the blacksmith by whom
"the east link was broken."
A New York millionaire gave a testimonial to a
chiropodist which testifies that "several years ago he success-
fully extracted several corns from my feet without pain, as
also members o my family, and they have not returned since
that time.
A Yankee down-east newspaper says, "Without
Intending lobe personal, we feel bound to declare that if our
safer
about
their oeuldmorneselyg-u
resign, many timid persons would feel
f

"lye heard, captain," said an English traveller to
the csptain of a steamer running on the Upper Mississippi,
"that your Western steamboats can run in very shoal water
—where, in fact, the water is not more than two or three
feet deep !" Two or three feet deep! 'exclaimed the captain,
in tones ot withering contempt; "why, we wouldn't give a
On for a boatout here that couldn't run on the dew on the
grass !"
The day before the Hell Gate explosion a gentleman
called on General Newton and besought him to give him a
front seat for his motherin-la,w, regardless of expense The
old lady's eyes, he said, were not very good, and he should
not mind how dangerous it was so long as he could get her
a good place The p.eneral, who is a married man himself,
shook hands with him warmly, gave him a pass, and the
applicant withdrew with tears in his eyes.
A American Editor wants to know, in the first
place, why dying is called "paying the debt of nature,"
secondly, when, bow' and where babies and grown-up people
got into nature's debt • and thir,ily, whether an enlightened
miexattoetieonosfof
c7ncghreasscrsehdoitorard.
bile()
at.; mamedendos tehotit
ear
,rciitotb-
and progrestive age will continue to submit to the merciless
rol
liguro, and comp., bog to opraproini" .

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