The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1879-05-27 00:00:00

PEBBLES AND SHELLS.

With the return of sunshine and shower, gravity
and gaiety, bathing. promenading, billing, and
cooing, and all sorts of greenhorn nonsense, is it not
• fact that the swallows and martins have paid • visit
to their old haunts—the precinct' of the Golden Lion?

When not web-footed, • poor bird could always
ensure a lolging in any tree ; but to be • web.foot,A
bird—and yet roost amidst all competitors of the
feathered tribe in creation is a marvel; yet such is the
case so long as we have Webb and Son In our midst, who
can not only paddle their own canoe, but also roost es
high in the public tree of estimation as any of their
mpeen.

Paddy was eating an onion and s Owe of bread-
and-cheese the other night, near the Guildhall ; but
be did not fail ta accept • drop of eye-water ate
neighbouring pnb.

That consequential party, who continually persists
I n going into Noir Trinity Church during divine
service with squeaking boots, evidently does not go
there for his sole-salvation.

Yea, he has been and gone and done it. There is •
rOW in the house—the old house at home. The
venerable sire does believe in Mn. Girling, and the
weather taking up floe, he is expected to go ere long
to the only abode of earthly bliss—the New Forest, to
" taste and try before you buy." Probably there will
be more than • newspaper report at the end of the
summer.

"Is there to be an election?" There are several
vacant sesta—that is vacant seats along the Esplanade.
When the seats are replaced, shall we have better
members to fill them? Probably new writs will be
leaned from the Home Office, in St. Edmund-street, to
fill the vacant seat. with greater dignity than they are
sometimes filled during certain late sittings outside the
house. Our "boys in blue" would do well to look
more towards the " blue" wave at night. rather than
to the grey frontage of the terraces of the upper ten
—who, ten to one, if asked on the point would say—
" Let the writs go forth at once."

No wonder that with nodding head and with
grievous-looking face, the preacher should make each
touching allusions to a member of hut contregation.
His fair and fashionable c mgregation lamented the
shortness of life of their departed companion, but there
was more grief exhibited by the popular preacher than
by his large congregation. Let us not grieve I

St. Nicholea-street sometimes is • perfect park.
minion; and • conflsberation of the curse of Babel.
There woe —, discoursing on the merits of Mrs.
Girling's teaching; then there was praising not
"from whom all blessings flow," and singing—" We
won't go home 1411 morning."

No more nisi...trap in the Local Parliament Chamber;
no more penonalities ; no more quarter of an hour's
grace; no more per•onal sweats before the race begin.;
no more building castles in the air; no more rushing
In where angels fear to tread; but a huge picture
presented to the T.C., painted according to ey •ry man's
fancy, embodying the character of all the T. C.'., and
the ideas of nobody. Underneeth which, in gilt letters,
wlfl appear—" No More."

The Weymouth Cricket Club have usued their
programme for the coming aipa.a. Beginning on the
31. t of the mouth, they will play against the
Melconabe Regis school at Weymouth, and end the
season by playing the sherbornitee on their on
ground at Sherborne. May the fates be with the
handlers of the willow and the throwers of the ball of
our spirited Weymouthiane !

If a stranger wishes t:
have
Imenaiyallof atm
Wnney in hie
po=7.lhernye 'tot phlig o.n CopUnsel,PAY his way, and
be able to walk a chalked line.

A filth in the frying-pan. Not that altogether—
much more, for the other night as the crew were rowing
across the placid bay voices—almost enchanting to
the promenaders along the esplanade, were heard sing-
ing -" See four oars with feathered spray," when all
at once the strain ceased, the gallant local aquatics
returned to the jetty in silence, when the captain
and hon. sec. both retired, leaving the rest of the
crew t,, ' paddle their OWD canoe !'

The Government are preparing another surprise!
Rut not more surprising, "Dark Lantern" thinks,
than the one he met wi•h on the shore the other night.
It was a letter to this effect:—" Dear John,—The old
Earl of Weymouth holds out bravely—the old man
has to co on crutches, which, though crotchety and
rotten at the bottom, bear up the gouty old chap as
well so can be. He was very bad this last winter, and
grave fears were entertained that the old man would
not survive the Christmas festivities, but he did. Dr.
Morgan was called in, and it was proved by that
eminent borough doctor that his Lordship was
dangerously indisposed, and he recommended a change
of clothing, in order to make the Esrl appear some-
thing like he used to be, when the belles of fashion
paid their suit and service to him in their moon-light
promenades I The prescription was duly written out,
and the clothing ordered for his Lordship, and now
that the rain is over and gone, and the time of singing
of birds has coma, his Lordship still complains, he
is 11.4 Po ruddy as he used to be, fora daub of white
here and there disfigures his once frank and open
countenance. Madame Rachel has been called in;
but, instead of making him "beautiful for ever," has
left blotches on his weather-beaten countenance, and
has caused his Lordship's parade to be almost silent
Yet, with sunshine and the continual drawing-rooms
of the Empress and the Premier during the coming
season, the Earl hopes to hold out his hand to all
comers. But, oh lit is a fearful sight to see the old
nobleman with his broken ribs and gouty feet—with
pieces of • Al...3ck's porous plasters sticking about
him to keep the wind away. May the Empress cheer
and the Premier never displace him. 'Poor Pile-
pier 1"
D/.11 Lawn's.