The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1876-06-24 00:00:00

AMERICAN HUMOUR,

The people live uncommonly long at Vermont.
There are two men there so old that they have forgotten
who they are, and there is nobody alive who can remember it
for them.
A New York paper gravely observes that the suicide
of a farmer, which it notices, "Is singularly strange inas-
much as he his not been in the habit of doing such things."

A Florida paper boa a?,certained that a healthy
alligator can eat severs negro children in the course of seven
hours, and not display any symptoms of disquiet.
. A New York boy, to conceal it from his mother,
placed alighted cigar Inirriddly in his pocket, where he had
a lot of gunpowder.- None of his clothes will ever do for him
again.. • • - • •
The proprietor of a young ladies' academy in Illinois
has utterly ruined his business by causing to be inserted in a
large number of,papers a picture of the building, with two
girls standing on the balcony with last year's hats on their
-
The editor of a Chirtagn rianer tops the question in
his columns in this public fashion :—" There's a certai. 61,1
In this town Who can carry our housekeys for life it she'll
only say the word."
p awakeninge
iAt
yt aa rmeac
neannwt,
tfinerre i
ai
estiaa.olMste itllhette au ,
populace,
okie
being
pul
at
eche eo,n
fownern sedl nyo fhe p
t the
e rsuddeno.
screwed his leg on
backward
dpraepseenettaeedtothemastongiosihned and awe-struck
opposite
neighbours a n
tne le of a an g in tw
directions at once.
Twenty-eight years ago a Buffalo man said to his
wife, "Miranda, I'm goirg 'Jowls to Tim's alter-a betheord."
That was the last seen of him until the other day, when he
entered the house with a bed-cord, and said he'd mend that
bed now.
A fashionable. lady
.in New York, reading that the
Hoosac Tunnel cost nine hundred, dollars a yard, declared.
with emphasis, that she'd have "a dress pattern off of that
piece, if her husband didn't lay up a cent for the next two
years."
The following is from the New Yorlz Graphic
• "I'll go get a gift for my fair,
For she dresses decidedly dowdy;
Her hat is more banged than her hair,
And she looks very much like a rowdy."
A sharp little girl in Chicago got out of patience
with her bastful lover's backyvardreAs and so brought
matters to a favourable climax by saying to him, "I really
believe you are afraid to ask Me to marry you, for you know
I would say yes."
A young lady who entErei a New York 'music
shop, ana asked -the yobng man in attendance, "Have you
Happy Dreams?" was astonished when he replied, ";Co,
ma'am. I'm mostly troubled with the nightmare." He didn't
know why she went out so hurriedly, and slammed the shop
door after her.
A Eennsylvania youth, on receiving a severe horse-
whipping from a ,young woman whom he had jilted, rather
congratulated himself Oen otheratisei remarking that it she
treated him so when they were not married, it was impossible
to tell what he itould have suffired.at her hands after mar-
riage.
a railroad accident, and
,ifcaytaolulynikniYa
raendkue Yankee, who bad been reported
as Aa
mn enng etrhgee
writes Lo the editor, saying :—" I tell you I was among the
was a ss p
lbeenc
da
Inas e.
ornms at Inwt
taoyns
afterwards reported asmot among the unfortunate 'company,tinemjuvreed",ratbauthithemryealsivoinagi didn'ttiee
and
naturally."
possessing a "religious charaCter" ." fine moral A Chicago " gentleman 7.wbo advertises himself .A 5
distinc-
tions," desires a boarding-place where "his pions example
and exemplary conduct will be apprefiated and be made
able as. an eguivalent for board." Alas for the needful
.
appreciation of such a character I.
, locAal politics, at aotrakmceoept,tpnerg tfitgliejitlgATlgheely.
Udine*
turning against him, exclaimed witka magnanifnous iir, "I
wash my hands of the business. —I gueps they, need. It had
enough," 'shouted an inverthaent OPP°llePtt -
coppersmiths who