The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1882-08-15 00:00:00

TIM LAIDWIIIIA saws

The distance between lowland and Ireland Ls new
increased by another League.

" " AT W MMUS) PALL
Having paid yer respects to Mr. Pam, yen Laken the
parth to your rite and you conlee in aboatiO betablic to
what I feels inclined to call about the thillesseb wuadur
of the World, reckning Happy Itioasteisal Garden, so
about the twelf, and that is the wandurfullest Grot Oh !
in Yourrope ! I saw at ono, by his DIM noyform and his
solleni deatuener that Mr. l'uffem is a masa tne strictest
weramity, or I should have been incliaed to dout him wen
he told me it was all bill bye lady, and that it coet her
Jest tifty thousand pound ! It memos 10 .1 money, but
if ills all bill of preaus stones mruffem says, we
knows as diamonds and them sok al things does run into
• lot. However, be that as it may, I quite agrees with a
rather er.sited Koster Monger who said, with miler
ouneomaary rigger of langwedge, that with that Grot
! for hi. crib and them perch ponds for his fish in, be
li .ouldn't want any other pair-o -dice. Ali I them', some-
thing like Fish Ponds them is, why, Mr. Puffem acshally
told me, with that aolletn look of his, that sumtimee the
Fish ia alutuping about, and a-splashing about to th*:
extent, that you'd think as there was a lot of boys a-bath-
ing there! And he looks at you so serious that you can't
carp at his Fish stories. When he's crammed you full of
Fiala, then he begin. about Poacher,. Something like
Poacher*, too, them iv. Why, the fast thing as they
voached drecly he war appointed, but before he had his
new Unyform, was all tho led off the roof of the Grot
Oh! That wasn't bad for • beginning. The net thing
as they poached wasn't eggs, as I naterally tort when he
asked me to guess, but abut 36 chosen of lostifial white
Water like" Anil 'buck of their hartfillitc,a in getting at
'tut. As the lilies we, iu the middle of Lb. !Ake, they
stripe theirselves to their akins for fear of wetting their*
salves, and then boldly plunges in up to their nem in
water, and higher than that, and carries 'em ashore,
hoping to sell 'rue at the Market price of four shillings •
&wain. But a eye waa a-watobing on 'eut ae they couldn't
see, this' he bail hi'. new Uoyform on, and the Perham
wised 'ow in their nopertectoil condition, lit:rally catch.
'em in the naked far, which of course they couldn't run
away, and the awl ii veu4eauce of the 1.,r cones down
on 'em to the extent of twelve aniline,'

Irmul AM.
AN eNGA‘TNYUL INSTITIMMML

At Belfast an 01.1 M.Olllll. maned Loazhiran. has been
granted a cumin ins .i4itinst • workhouse olficisl, who
knocked two of her teeth out, when oho ILO I ''lt was
rather too bad that she should ha treatod in such a man-
ner, after having been hi the workhouse lw twenty sin.
years." We should think it was too b.ol (two teeth too
bad) to behave so tow. who has hoes. such a good
customer. The idea alter patronizing the establishiumit
tir that length of time, on thou to be insulted ! Why,
they couldn't have behaved worse had the woman been a
esestal acquaintance.
T/1/I ISONT UV THING WAITERS HAVE To Per .1. WITH.
One Of the Good Old School.—" What the deuce is
that nasty-looking mews, waiter?"
Waiter.—" Great delicacy. sir; our chef's just made a
big bowl of it, sir. There. trollies, anchovies, olives,
i
cold chicken, all sorts of vegetal is it outyooutMi
sauce. Wonderful, sir! I thought you ihioit like a
plate, sir."
0. of the G. 0. B.—'What's it called?'
W.—"Hussian salad, sir."
. .

0. of the G. 0. :a.—" Oh, you rascal ! Confownl your
isoolence, to dare to bring we anythin.; tonnected witb
that counts 7, awl aak me to eat It! 1.1 have you know
rut &Tory, ak. Call the manager. you—"
[Uwe hauguago uutit for stilloatika

"HEATING'S FOWOKIL" se celebrated and perfectly on.
rivalled in destroriug Sims, FLEAS, Bewmett, Norm, and
all Insects, whilst Quits harmless to domestic animals, le
sold in 61 and la. tim by all Chistaisth It la clean la see.
All tura and woollens should be well powdered before
putting away. Beware of intitetioas.
/ovum TO Nrivenat -de‘m you broken In your rest by
• sick child sawing With the pale of cutting teetlilOo at
once to • chemist andget a bottle of Km Woistaw's
rek
lioorome &mac It will relieve the soberer issinedi
.g4dy. It le perfectly harmless and tto HIOSOS••• it
produces natural quiet sissy, by the child from
pain, and the little cherub • " as t as a buttes."
It soothes the child, It softens gums. altar..Ml
yawns wind, regulates the bowels, sad is the ._knesee
✓emedy for dysentery sad diarrheas, whothet arising from
peething or other camels Mrs. WicAloses seething,
Syrup Is aold by Medicine &sten everywhere at le ltd.
per bottle.
HOLLOWAY'S FILIAL Enfeebled Existence. This
medicine embraces every attribute required in a
mod dommilo remedy; it overturns the foundation,
deems lai Iby defective fool and impure air. In obstroo-
ions Of colitOstiolls of the liver, lungs, bowels, or any other
mime Gems pills me especially serviceable . ad eminently
monistic!. They should be kept in readiwas in every
family, as they are a morticing without a taut! for young
persons and (boo of feeble constitutions. They never
cams pain, or irritate ihe omit sensitive nerves, or most
tender bowels. Holloway's pills me the best known
purifiers of the of the Nowt end the beet promoters of
absorption and ascretion, and remove all peudsoons sad
oboogious particles from both solids and fluids.
Toe attention of Ladies is called to REMITS'S Paws
Banc which has tom, since its introduction, quite un.
au:pared as • Laundry Blue. It now commands WA
Largest ask In the world, owing its success to its bril.
barmy of colour and delicacy of tint. It can be obtained
frore all Wooers, Oilmen. de.
Tomsk, um Tneyntims. Ladle, playing lawn
tennis, violins the monk or othsrwlae exposed to the
worotung ram of the sun mod heated partial's of dolt,
will dud Rowlands Kalydor most cooling and refreshing
for the face, !marls, and arms; it medic-One sunburn. bsa.
!reeky.", an, allays the pain and irritation mound be
miegulto mid gnat bites, and prodoose • beautiful sad
delicate conseksion. Sold in two siege Rowlands'
MAEYSIAY Oil pitmen. the hair falling og during hot
weather. Rowlands' Diocto whitens the iamb, Sold by
chymi.ia, perfumer,, and Imisdromera Bay only
Rowlands' articles.
A Cum. —T., au who me suffering from the error' and
Indi4ocetions of youth, nervous wesknese, early decay,
lam id' mamboed, ika, I will send • receipt that will SILOS
You. Free of Charge. This great remedy was discovered
by • noiselcioary In South Africa. Send a sell-addreased
envelope to thd Rim. Josaro T. Dow, Station D, New
York Oily, U.S.A.
TeILOAT AY/MOTIONS LED HOULSESSENL.mAII sullert,s
from irritation of the throat sad Marmara will be mores.
ably surprised at the Illuoss relief &darted by
the me of " Brown't 4f3Ochlll Truchs. These famous
~. Kende: has noir 7 most respectah4 chemist& in
Plitiaztr/Vi- I Per bax• PeePle troubled with a- . • 'hot add," oe bronchial ad °Mint try them too saw S• similar troubles, if ellottin
. eigto Progress, result I. serious Pulmonary and Astrunatie
timit. See that the words " Broires Broachial
am on the Government Stamp around each box.
-.ismaired by Jong L Baown and Shen, Boston, United
StateL &myelin depot, removed to Xi, Yeseiegdon•
reed. Loudon.
iiiigroL A 8-8-14—E 8 .

- - - -
aatunicAßLE PROSECII.TION BY A BOARD OF
GUARDIANS.
At the Bristol Aeolus on Tuesday. Andres, a sweep, and
Paltninst=demestic servant• were charged with an.
splring 10 don their child, wberelyo it became charge-
to the Barton Reel Union. The girl bad • child
no doubt silk. mats prisoner, and the two took it to •
woman, and gays it out to board at St. • week. when
aaa Pay eat not kept up the WOn,bO took it to the Union.
Th. Nina. prisoner bid given • false Beale and wrong
addreer The Hon, B. Coleridge., for the man, swore that
Ihtie woman had not exlinosted all the money paid to bar
whet obi took the child Op the Delon. sad lie said her
pier, eras not Ls the witasea's box; trot it wee net shown
that onions; was the father of the child in the dock ; for
the woman it was oontailded It lied not been shown that
she bad wisps. The jury found the primmer* guilty. Rio
Lordship agreed that a distieetion should be made. an
Paggingtoa might be ,nua..d to hare acted whir the
influeace of Andrea. Tea harmed leder
_Andres to a
ntonaunt; latietawient with hretlirLabi:lstal
Ma Ip. a