The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1878-06-04 00:00:00

THE PENNY WEDDING.

It Rains a; rii;c4n—gd-gerfa-II;); Moots
!dm Penny brings down bar Nearilework —Tbs
Secret Mart !

It is possible that under conditions even las favour-
able than one's honeymoon that dlocum Podger might
be found endurable—as long as it didn't rain.
The rain fells steadily, swelling the puddles in the
middle of the road, drifting with a ireary sound
against the window-panes. A water-pips close by
communicating with the roof of the house keeps up •
constant dribble, which Ills • dismal thing to W.em to
long at, • time.
Yrs. Penny has brought down some needlework. It
Is • blue cloth petticoat, and she is sewing • button on
It with • businas-like air.
. . . .

-oi-e7actiy uy ;6, but this act on the part
of Mrs. Penny strikes me as singularly unsentimantaL
Mut says, "I must do something. and threads a
media .

I tihe • seat upon the sofa by her side. She moves
in inch or two, posibly to make MOM (Of me, only
there is plenty of room. I take the hem of the petti•
ooat in my hand, and she palls it very gently, but
bard enough to pull it away; and says, " You maul

WYK..
Than we sit gamily for a tims, and thou I put my
arm round her wart, on which she gins my hood a
prkk with the noodle—a good sharp pitch, which
make, me cry "Oh I"
On which she says, "I hope I didn't hurt you." On
which I say, "No ; it's nothing!" feeling bound to
treat the matter thus, though it aches for an hour
afterwards.
In the memewhile Mrs. Penny goes on sowing oaths
button, altar basin placed her work-basket between
us • and I go on looking on at a respectful distance, and
altogether It is no! quite atgay as it might be..
It is my firm hupreseion, though I do not care to
mention it to Mra Peas) (oa the third day of ono's
honeymoon ono scaxosiy wishes to go into them hied
at details), that that of a landlady calmly
Wpm herself to our food in the most barefaced fashion,
though eke ham gone out of bet way to provide us with
lays which are suppoded to lock everything up safe
and sound.

A mumiTu point I. the fresh butter. To say that this
frognieut of • (punter-pound in any way resembles the
quarter-pound scarcely touched that left our breakfast-
table is simply preposterous; but it would most
meuredly be so said, and sworn to for that matter,
were I to speak to the landlady about it.
Upon one thing I am, however, quite determined.
I 'KU prove the dishonesty of this landlady beyond
doubt, and I will—if I may be pardoned the phrase,
which I admit has somewhat at • melodramatic tars
--ling it In her teeth I
The proem asesseary is • simple one. With an
each as you get • row al instead of the
sham warm work
akin be speallatireVerlieWee See bee Ws

cat. If whin th• batter is ass& broaght forth Iran
its oapboord dot sooret nark is still then, ft is to be
ItiMossd that a robbery has oat bias committed. We
shoU see

Hers it is at last, and here is the butter I Now,
upon my word this really beets anything I seer came
acmes I _ _

I Ni only has • great lump of butter disappeared,
but I'll be banged if them are not a lot of pin-marks
all over it, apparently imit.stinee, or I might rather
call them iu. csriratures of those I made.
Naturally I can't stand LW*. I give the bell a great
pull. The landlady is dishing up the dinner and sends
up the girl. In a voice of thunder I demand to know
who has been at the butter, and she says she doesn't
know, but will inquire.
Whilst she has gone to do so, Mr& Penny COMM
down, and asks what is the matter.
"Nothing: my dear," I reply, "but it is really too
dlognioeful I '
"Rave they been at it again? sh• inquires.
"At what?" I leek, supposing, of course, she does
not know what I am referring to.
"No," she continues, without waiting for
rmiimply,
th " e marks are just m I left them. It's all ht."
"Rave you too marked the butter, then?" gasp.
"Ye.," she says; "I bad • bit of bread-and-butter
when you were out, and marked it afterwardii."
"But I had the key.,"
"Oh. I found that.'

Is it poosible for a woman to be too practical, I
wonder? It seems to ink: on one, this notion at
marking the butter the third day of ! b000rooToo•

Here's Lb. landlady now, and we grinning thia time,
She looks very serious, and wants to know what I
mean.

A CLERICAL VIEW OF TEMPERANCE.
At the annual dinner of the Exeter Licensed
Victuallers' Association. held on Monday evening, at
1 People's New Loudon Inn, Exeter, the Rev. J. Ina*
' rector of St. Glare. replying to the toast of "Th.
Bishop and Clergy of the Diocese." said that everybody
ought to wish to see the Church in • state of
prosperity, and to see the
.bishops and clergy doing
their duty, attending to their congregations, consider-
ing their wishes,aye, and their prejudice", too, and
ministering to the wants, temporal and spiritual, of
every member of Christ's body committed to their
charge. Now, that was what the Bishop of Exeter
did. The Bishop of Exeter was a man with whom he
did not agree on all subjects, and h• wee most
thoroughly hmetiml, for he didn't take • drop of wine
even for his stomach s sake, which they knew was quite
contradictory to Scripture. People told them that
hotels or inns were the castles and mats of drunken-
ness. Why,there never was • greater 'lender enunciated
In this world. Did the hosts of well-conducted hotels,
did the hosts even of the majority of hotels, wish to
encourage drunkenness on their premises? Why, there
was nothing they detested more. He wanted to know
why the licensed victuallers, why the trade, was to
be attacked. Whet for? Why were they, the gentle-
men present, to be subjected to the insult of
having • lot of milk-and water fellows getting up in
the House of Commons every year and proposing slot
of resolutions just as if they were thieve', rogues, and
vagabonds, and every kind of wicked thing under the
rum What had they done to deserve It? He un-
hesitatingly said they had done nothing to deserve it,
and that it was a gram attack upon them. (Chasm)
One might as well attack the chemists because they
sold too much opium; or this keepers of eating-houses,
beans° some people gormandised and made them-
@elves • good deal more ill by eating too much than
they did by drinking their hone t port and cider.
(Laughter and cheers.) And then the Acts of Parlia-
ment to restrict the hours. Whet did that mean'
Why, it meant the encouraging of private tippling
instead of open purchasing. It meant that the rich
man could go into his club, or send his butler into his
cellar to take his bottle of '34 port, and enjoy it like •
man— (langliter)—and he thought be was better em-
ployed in so enjoying it than the Bishop of Exeter in
going to teetotal meetings, and trying to nee the
organisation of the Church—parishes, rural deaneries,
archdeaconeries—for Mai:luxe of supporting a
party my, for it was better. (Hear, hear.)
Thank God, be was • and should be for
ever! (Roars of laughter) But he was disgusted,
thoroughly disgusted, to see the way in which
It was attempted to prostitute, and to dawned&
and to pollute the organisation of the Catholic
Church of England in ita parishes, in WI rural
deaneries, in its archdeacmuies, and in its dioceses, to
fester an attack upon a set of men, the limes
victuallers of England, who were able to hold up their
heads against 28 deans and 28 bishops of this country,
and not loin by the commis-Won. The speaker con-
tinued, that the outcome of all "this wretched teetotal
organization wee the doctrine that it was sinful and
wicked to take a glass of wine," and he said he
supposed the persons who made such a statement had
read their Bibles. He concluded—l thought that all
God's creations were to be taken, and eaten, and
drunk with thankfulness and moderation. I also
remember—and this is the teat word I have to say to
you, and I don't care how many archdeacons an
rural deans go and get up meetings for Church
Temperance Societies and the re of it; I don't care
how many doctrinaire and latitudinarian bishops
fulminate charges full of the grommet platitudes, and
most intense folly,l care nothing for that —I remember
that I am to preach the Gospel of our Master, whose
most signal miracle was not only to beautify and
adorn the ceremony of marriage, but also to ma into
existence, out of time feeble element water, a large and
beneficent, and massive, as we might deem it. supply
of the richest and most pare and generous wine, so
that it excited the wonder and admiration, or, at
your predecessor at the marriage of Cana in 0•1111••
the governor of the fast (Aim ause.)