The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1878-04-27 00:00:00

AMERICAN HUMOUR.

There is " style" among the ladies of Alaska as well
as anywhere else. They grease their noses with a mixture of
oil and coal-dust, and the blacker the nose the more stylish
It is.

-- --
The editor of a Virginia paper was asked by a
stranger "if it was possible that little town kept un tour
newspapers." And the reply was, "No ;it takes four news-
papers to keep up the town.'
"I curie to ask your hand," said a lover to his St.
Louis sweetheart. " You ask a (Teat deal," replied she ;
and he thought so, tOO, when she dually succumbed, and
gently laid in his a nestling, soft, white paw, two thirds
larger than a goose.
Nashville has a club of rejected lovers. One of the
rules indicts the penalty of expulsion upon any member who
visits the lady who once rejected him.
An American farmer sent to an orphan asylum for
a boy that was smart, active, brave, tractable, nroropt, in-
duAtious, clean, pious, intelligent, good-looking, reserved,
and modest. The superiuteudent wrote back that unfor-
tunately they had only human boys iu that institution.
An Ohio gawkey saw, for the first, a school-girl going
through some of her gymnastic exercises for the amusement
of the little ones at home. After gazing at her with looks of
interest and commiseration fur a while. he asked a boy near
by, "if that gal had fitsr —" No," replied the lad, contemp-
tuously ; "that's gymnastics."—" Oh, 'tie, hey?" said the
verdant; "how long has she had em
A New Yorker advertised an umbrella which he
had found, the other day, and a morning paper sent a re-
porter to interview him, and gives the puolic all the points
about the Extraordinary man, -
The editor of an Illinois paper thinks that fishing,
as a general rule, dosen't pay. Ile says, "We stood it ail
day in the river last week, but caught nothing—unti/ we got
' home."
Tweraty•eight years ago a Buffalo man said to his
wife, "Miranda, I'm going down to Tim's after a bed-cord."
That was the last seen of him until the other day, when he
entered the house with a bed-curd, and said he'd mend that
bed now.
A lawyer arose in the,midst of a case at*Chicago, the
other day, and said, "May it please the court, there's a tight
out-doors, and I ask for a short adjournment." The court
went out with him.

Aunt Jane having read in a Chicago newspaper that
a champion hoatniau would row a rival for two thonsand
dollars a side, wanted to know hoW -thatiy sides the rival
had.
The citizens of a town in Virginia feel a little
cold towards a husband whose wife fell down a well, and
who rode three miles to borrow a rope, when there was a
ladder long enough for the purpose against the house.
A Yankee editor, who speaks with the air of a man
who has discovered If new fact by experience, saya that the
way to prevent bleeding at the ROBS is to keep your nose out
of other people's busineas.

- -
"how is your establishment run ? " asked a Western
editor of an Eastern brother, at whose presses he was look-
ing.—" By Water-p,wer." " Dow is yours run f"--" By the
same power," replied the man from the setting sun, " but
we take it pretty much in our whisky."
A Winconsin paper publishes an appeal by a young
lady for a situation as teacher, in which she says, " I was
tahlicate:t in one of our leading Female Seminaries, and have
toy sertitlkates, and so feel it my duty to teach somewheres,
and If you can assist me pleaze rite and let mono, and tie get
reddy at oncet."
An urchin of seven years went into a barber's shop
in New Yora, and ordered the barber to cut his hair as close
as shears couid do it. He was asked if his mother ordered
it that way. "No," said he, " but school commences nelct
week, and we've got a schoolmistress that pulls hair."