The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1870-11-05 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

An Indiana girl has jetst gone to Salt Lake to be
one-sixth of a wife.

The popular coloured ink for writing love letters
now is violet, because it fades no Room
Marriage makes a man and woman one; but the
trouble is to till which of them is the one.

A Prussian beauty of Blairsville, Indiana, consumed
twenty•seven glasses of beer, without winking, in
honour of Sr lan.

Every plain girl has one consolation—though not •
pretty young lady, she will, if she lives, be a pretty
old one.

Trying to do business without advertising, says an
American paper, is like winking in the dark; you may
know that you are keeping up a powerful winking, but
nobody else has any idea of it.

Cincinnatti brings forward a woman who raises four
feet of hair on her head every three years. She has
gathered forty-eight feet of the article since she came
into the market.
A poet asked a friend what he thonaht of his last
production, "An Ode to Sleep." You have done
such justice to the subject that it is impossible to read
it without feeling its whole weight."

They toll a bell in Winchester, Indiana, every half
hour, as a signal for the inhabitants to take their
quinine, _

_
A Miss Lucy Lee advertises in a Mississippi paper
that she is of good birth and education, and is willing
to marry an editor, believing herself able to support
one.

An Albany damsel asked one of her fellow-boarders,
a stylish dry goods clerk, at the breakfast-table, "Why
is your moustache like my back hair?" He blushingly
gave it up, when the answer caused him to blush still
more:—" Because it's all down"

The New York Post printa the following news items :
"Young ladies should not go rowing with gentlemen,
unless they are capable of managing a boat. A lady
was upset in the water recently, and a dress costing
sixty dollars • yard was completely ruined. The lady
was drowned.

tisys the Psalmist : "tie maketh my feet like hind's
feet." A negro preacher read it "hen's feet," and
proceeded to say, " dat a hen in de henroost, when it
falls asleep, tightens ita grip so's not to fall off. And
dat's how true faith, my breddren, holds on to de
rock."

A minister in New Hampshire lately astonished his
congregation by praying for rain in the following
fashion :- "0, Lord, we pray for rain! Not a tearin',
drivin' rain, such as harrars up the face of Natur', but
a drizzlin', mozzlin' rain, such as lasts all day and pretty
much all night."

A congregation in Wisconsin was almost driven to
the brink of despair, one Sunday, in consequence of
the unexplained absence of the pastor, when the sexton,
rose in his seat with awful solemnity and said, "There
has been a duplex arrival of the mail. Oar worthy
shepherd has two little lambs added to his flock.
Twins, brethren, twins. Let us pray."
. -

An editor in New Jersey recently published • long
, obituary notice of an uncle of his who died out in Aue-
trans and left 400,000,000 duls, to his only nephew.
The intimate acquaintances of the editor regard this
story as the preliminary measure of &carefully-devised
scheme to get trusted for a couple of winter under-
shirt. Persons who have such articles for sale are
warned not to give credit to any editor who tells such
a story uuleee he has with him the dead body of the
uncle, with the money in the pantaloons pocket of the
corpse.