The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1870-04-16 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.
Boxton, Alasmcbusett•, ham recently been v:sited by
• snowstorm, which the journals of that city pronounce a

Two leading newspapers in Portland, Me., are
engaged M a protracted gum rel about • misplaced comma.
There seems to be no other point to it.
Last year 14 000 patiente were taken out in
America , one is absolutely and seriously declared to have
been for an apparatua to prevent inuring.

A young lady who went to see Hackett in The
Merry Wives of Windsor was anxious to know which was lir.
%indoor, as she did not see his name printed on the bill.
They have a curious style of love•making out West,
for a paper there says, "The young people who were seen
feeding each other, dove fashion, over a gate-post the other
evening, had better be • little more cautious in the future."
An oratar holding forth in favour of "woman, dear,
divine woman," concluded thus Oh, my hearers, depend
upon it, nothing beats a good wife." " I beg your pardon,'
replied one of his auditors, " • bad husband does."
The New York Tribune PM'S :—" Miss Allie H.
Janeson has been appointed a notary public at Slarohalltown,
lowa. When she administers oaths and holds out the book
to be kissed, we hope no mistake will be made."

An editor, describing a steamboat, said, "She had
twelve berth. in the ladies' cabin." " Hoer horrible !" ex-
claimed an old maid, on reading this sentence. " What a
equalling there must have been !"

- -
A New Albany lover, knowing a savage dog was
kept on the premises by hi, sweetheart, took an equally fero-
cious cur with him the other night, and set the two fighting.
While the old man waa separating the animala, the lovers
eloped out of the back door.

A specialist physician thus appeals to the afflicted
" The time must cools when no angel of mercy can bring you
relief ! In no case has Dr. failed of success." This ac.
knowledged superiority of Dr. over angels of mercy
ought to drive the latter clan out of the profession.

At a temperance meeting in Buffalo a few nights
ago a lady dechired it her firm belief that it was • grave do
for parents to allow their young children to use condiments,
and inveighed against the long category of sin and crime
which may be traced back to the immoderate use of
mustard.

At Cheyne, lately, a missionary preached on a
dry-goods b. a, and his choir sat in a buggy. The horse got
frightened and ran away with the choir. Could not that
horse be brought East? It would command a large price,"
for we must observe, as our contemporary forgets, that it ran
away with the missionary also.

An Illinois upholsterer sent the following entertain-
ing note to • wok man :—" Dear Sfr,—klaving poaltive proof
that you are rapidly approaching death's Rat; I have, there-
fore, thought it not imprudent to call your attention to the
Inclosed advertisement of my abundant stock of ready-made
coffins."

The first chapter of a Weetern novel hae the follow-
leg i--" All of a sudden the fair girl continued to sit on the
sand, gazing upon the briny deep, on whose heaving bosom
the tall ships went merrily by, freighted—at ! who can tell
with how much of joy and sorrow, and pine lumber and ern!.
greats, and hopes and wit hat?"
Lent year the American internal revenue ameneore
got some funny answers to the questions printed on their
blanks. For instance, to the question, "lie'! your wile any
Income lint year?" one person replies, "Ye., one boy."
Another, " Her husband's love, and as much money from him
as she wants, but DO other income." Another, "Ye., twins
—both well; willing to be taxed for them !"