The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-02-22 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A Nevada man drove twenty-eight miles to attend a
funeral, but reached the house to thi.d the deceased alive
and recovering Re therefore brings a suit for 20 dols.
damages.

They'd been sipping mineral waters, and as they
wended their way along the avenue she said, "I just wish
that every one of those moonbeams was silver, and I wish
that you owned the moon and I owned the earth; and I wish
that every one of your hairs was silver, too; and I wish that
you'd plait 'em across from beam to beam, and make ever so
many ladders, and make it convenient to visit one another;
and I wish, too----" "There, there I" he interposed, it
that's the effect of wishy-water on you, I wouldn't advise it
as a steady gargle."
A new Idaho town is named Onegirlia, because
there is only one girl there.

_
Despise not small things; the largest corn is always
found on the smallest toe.

Man wants but little here below; but a woman
wants most everything she sees her neighbour have—except
her tooth•brush auu youngest bsby.

_
He was kneeling at her feet and saying, " My pre-
cious sweet, life lingers to me as a petunia, streaked with
glorious golden frettings of a soul which know.th no love
so-" "On, Henry " said she, "that's the correct card."
"Have you eau de cologne?" asked she. "No,
ma'm," replied the New York druggist: I do not keep scents
at all," She said he didn't look as though he did.
A Pennsylvania girl waited a whole year before
bringing suit for damages against a man who kissed her
without warning, and the crushing verdict of one cent
damages took her breath away.

They have a phenomenonin Kansas who can whistle
and laugh at the same time. They are quite proud of him
as the first development of musical genius in that region.
Re has been giving concerts in a tent, and the doorkeeper
shoots everybody who stands outside trying to hear the show
for nothing.

"Formerly one sermon converted 3,000 sinners,"
said an elder in a sermon recently ; "now it takes 3,000
sermons to convert one sinner."

An advertisement in a New York paper offers board
and lodging "for two persons of some refinement but no
flummery."

A delegation of Mormon women ha 4 just waited on
Mrs. Haves to enlist her sympathies on their behalf. It is
said that all their arguments interestt d her until they urged
upon her the undeniable fact that when a man had ten wives
he was lees in the way and not so much of a nuisance to one
woman who was his only wife. They even suggested that,
If that entire delegation belonged to Mr Hayes, Mrs. H.
would never be interrupted in the perusal of a new novel—
but what happened afterwards is not known, except that
three or four switches, manufactured in Utah, were subse-
quently found on the floor in the ladies' reception room at
the White House.

Rev. G. H. Crawford, a Methodist preacher in
Camden, Me., could not continue his ministerial labours by
reason of impaired health, and, unwilling to become a charge
to the church, set himself at the task of self-support, and
regularly.tvrice a day delivers milk to customers about the
village, formerly carrying it by hand, but latterly on a
wheelbarrow, or when there is snow, onu sledge.—. Echo.
There were 2,597 births and 1,646 deaths registered
in Loudon last week. Allowing for increase of population,
the births exceeded by 16, while the deaths were 128 below,
the average numbers in the corresponding week of the last
ten years. The annual death-rate from all causes, which in
the three preceding weeks had been equal to 261, 26 2, and
26-5 per 1,000, declined under the influence of higher tem-
perature to 231, a lower rate than has prevailed in any week
since the end of November last. The deaths included 20
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