The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1877-05-08 00:00:00

GOSSIP OF THE TIMES.

This happy week we toss up our caps for our readers
and I feel like Shiba,' the sailor, when he had tipped the
Old Man of the Mountain off his back, for the Mayor has
tempered justice with mercy, and we have no Council
meeting, no squabbles o'er the extra seats, no quarter-
hour talker, no sewage, and no--" Happy the people
whose chronicles are dull," that is, dull to those who are
looking out for other people's berths, and who want to
find a hole in their neighbour's coats; but "sleek-headed
men, and such as sleep o' nights," will devote an extra
coin to Sunday's offertory, and be ten times as merry in
their families, because impudent Bath won't be able to
chuckle over our local Parliament for the talkings of this
week, and even Portland sv..n't be able to say—" Look
at your Town Council before you laugh at our Local
Board."

The Councillors who long for the blimful immortality
of seven columns in type should ruminate during their
happy recess on the debate in Parliament last week,
wherein it was shown that even the eloquence of senators
is not so acceptable to the people as general news. The
London dailies one after another, are "cutting down"
their long reports of Parliament, and even Hansard,—
which might be supposed to represent what here we
might have stuck against the wall—painting the "talker,
talkee," of would-be senatork—has to "hint at the
possibility of his enterprise being abandoned." So we
learn again—" Fine words butter no parsnips," "Talk
doesn't pay."

How they did talk at the Congregational Association
meetings Two pages of the Tebirerrs were devoted: but
what were they among so many One bit that couldn't
go in was "The Kew reserving his paper till
the conclusion of the meeting, found there was no time
to read it." (Laughter.) Other papers of reverend gentle-
men on a former occasion suffered the massacre of the
innocents, and the epitaph on them at the Conference
was "loud laughter." go I may laugh too. Reverend
gentlemen who reserve their speeches to the close of the
meeting, had better drop them altogether, as the House of
Commons does its late lambs. When a meeting closes at
nine, and the object has been good, I feel incl Med to give
, half-a-crown; for every five minute's delay, my enthusiasm
gees down about a penny a minute, till at five-and-twenty
minutes to ten, I consider the balance is due from the
society to me, and the plate gets little or nothing.
Spoken after nine at a missionary meeting should be
Sped far every minute.

It void be WNW, lb fine 'thew reverend gentleman
than the arab= et ear rifie corps.
lrunk fern. Rifleman form :
Rowly, be ready, to meet thesatorm,"
Won't be kepolar if it it to be a storm of fines that is
to fall week rime for endangering life are well
aril wiper ; bet Sus fee set attending drib a after you
Uwe bell far Illiplaliilla number ie rather too fine.
arli=
vet think of dizresinittie tag;
111$ 111 I Cutheisalurrmatir ITT .
, wk. al I meet ravir=
1 adt to or we
eir-ioat who Op lir i prirites be
way omit loft
. —.--.
solhaartist .142tii
Mouthing and li4W
Toossoortiapolloir ham to
at tido pistil to a pad thing