The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1869-10-05 00:00:00

AN ELECTION COMERrEE.

The Mar/porn. /Genial reports at oonsidereble length
the extraonlinary evidehoe of bribery, deception, and
perjury which the Bridgwater Election Commission is
elucidating, and it gives the follow:1:14 smart sketch of
" an }lotion Committee afa mode" : .

Throe Commissioners wigged and gowned discovered
sltting round • baited table. A shorthvxd writer it
front of them. Numvrous smaller fry of samo genus
scattored around. A number of nervous and scsr,d
old gentlemen, mostly in white chokers, and with lav,,
watch seal., sitting or standing ; and • mixed and dirty
lot of into And independents" lounging about in ali
directions. . . .

Ist Commissioner : Now thee, look sharp. Whore's
John Smith ? .

Ofliaer of Court : Please, sir. Ws ill.
let Commonionor : It doseu't please we, nod no isn't
. . .

2nd Commiesinrirr : Int mire I heard same one lanati.
he eau be identified I, for one, am foe eommitting
him to prison.
3rd Commimioner.: Bat where is Smith?

Amiens Coro : 11l or, very —paralysed. Was only
able to go to church twice yeiterday.
lit Commioioner : Never mind, we be hero for
a month. He'll be better before we go.
Nervous old whim chokored Gentlemen (with •
horror of rates) oh Heavens ! they don't mean to say
they're going to keep this game up another month.
Why we've all the tkpOOSCII to pay, and the borough
will bo ruined ! .

'Led Commissioner : I want Jones recullei. Here,
Jones, before I proceed to examine iou, let me tell you
you in in a pniitinri of terrible eril• Whether you
vrill be hung, drawn, and plarteral for high treason,
or simply sent into penal servitude for life, depends
entirely on the evidence you give. N'Jw mind, what you
told on before we don't believe. . .

1s Comnl.onor No it -Zs a dcworieht lie.

2nd Conniiiqoner: And you'll h., indicted for perjury
as sure u you've n bead on your shoulders. Don't look
like that. sir, but answer the question.
Witness (as psle as the wall) : Question, sir, you
haven't put one yet.
let Commissioner : Don't tritle with the oourt sir. or
you'll be oominitted at once. You have bees guilty of
grou oontempt in repeating the words of my brother
Commissioner. . . . .

Witness : tint pious, sir. he never asked anything.
3rd Commissiomr : I nevor saw shell prevarication in
my life. Now, do you mean to say sir—put your ban.'
down and don't use your handkerchief whilst yon'ro
being spoken to—do you mean to swear, on your oath,
that you didn't know what question was going to be
put'
Witness (reeolutely) t No sir.
2nd Conaniissioner (with unusual suavity) : A perfect
nincompoop !
let Commissioner : We can make nothing of this
witness. I think we had better retire, and ouusider the
course we must pursue with him.
The Commissioners retire.—dmall boy to Friend:
"hay Join, more sherry and ssnwitehes. [Laughter
indignantly silenced 'uy iho over].
Commissionris return ins bunch, and hug themselves
into their chairs.

••••••
Chair:MU : New Jones, we %can't wow, say more
row& on you. I see you want tap be examined. New
we .h.n't 020 mm n.
41 'mem (upplp ), The Lord be 'praised !
••••• • • • -

2n4 ~, , "nor : Hut don't think you've got off.
Your name will be sent to the Attorney-thmeral.
C.muniwitonor : Ycs, and you'll got it hot —pro.
varieatioi„ iti.hol4wg UI svillouov. mad admission of
bribery. You eon go air.
(Exit Jones).
Green (a very deliberate old gentlemen, looking over
Lis glasses, and speaking about 20 wonle a minute). I
oourt to por--init me to
add something to my test—i—mo—ny.
Chorus of Gounnissionen : Oh ! stuff, peek o' non.
101,10. • . .

(irmsn : It is very important.
Cha:rman : Oh. you think ro, no doubt.
2ml Commimionir : Bog it's not so important as the
tune of the eons.. . . -

31,1 Commt.,ionor : Your names rem, 1 t%irak ?

Coniniissioner (s,oo raw): Jolly green I think.
lat Commission. r Non. whet ii it you wart to say.
Mr. verdant -Mr. Green 1 utisan ? But Atop, we c:.n't
hear Too,
The other Commissioners : Vertainly nat.
Mr. (.mml But my reputation Im in—jurionaly
affected. . . . . .

Gemmiasionor : Yon won't be single in this
borough, Mr. Groom
2nd Commissioner : No, lots of soiled reputations
hero.
Int Commissioners: What sort of roputation had ho
got to ?
:fad Commlwionor : Pat that to him.
chairman : Whet aro you ? Aro you a dcaeon ?
. Witness : I am, sir. . .

Chairman I thought so (to hie brethren), didn't
you!
Both Commissioners : Yes, white choker—sad delib-
Crete almei.h.
Chaincan : I don't think we had better hare any-
thing to do with him (to wane.). No, we can't hem
you. 'You aeny that you ba,:ge lift)' of the money—we
closet hake,: you.
Witness : But, air, my chanaoter.
. .

Chairman : Oh, ehusekr be plowed by the breezes of
Burnt:fun. No one In Old borough has got one or
if be has now be won't have one when this inquky Ii
completed.
god Commissioner: I never saw snob a sink of cor-
ruption in my life.
3rd Ditto : It smells offensively.
Chairman : The more we stir, he.
_ . . _ . .

Impartial Bystander (from a distance): Well they are
a dirty lot and no mistske. They don't damn% to be
touched with gloved Irmos, awl I °An% say I'msar.7to
see some of the bribers exposed ; but oonsidering these
gentlemen •Te the represent ViVe• of the majesty of the
law. Ido think they might be a little more mild in
their speed), and a little moiroilignided in their earflap
Onus : And so say all of an
Court adjourns.

MUST= AT CATZNAL—At the eelebration of the
Emperor Napoleon's birthday at Cayenne, come sparks
from • squibb fell on a store of fireworks, and instantly
SD explosion occur:ed whereby twenty persona were
horribly burnt, and thirty et hers ill a less degree.
Several dertha took place on the way to the hoepital
and when there. The town is in a state of desolation.
Tag contest for the Lord Mayoralty of the city of
London has endel in the comp l •te victory of Alderman
Braley ; and, indeed, the trial of strength was tcanifestly
so hopeless for the present occupant of the civic office
(Alderman Lawranoe) that on Friday afternoon he
withdrew from the field. At that time he had polled
621 votes, whereas Alderman Bcrley had polled 1,413.
SAD CALAIDOO TIIROUOII YETRuLIIIIL—III Bordeaux
harbour, on Tuesday evening, a lighter, which was
loaded with petroleum, took fire; the flames spread to
the view's in the port ; and, before the conflagration
could be extingukhod, between twenty and thirty largo
vessels had been destroyed. Only no life seems to have
been lost, but the sacrifice of property has been
Immense.
, TIM Kildare gold diggings in Sutherlandahlre are still
being worked reniuntratively,the average earnings being
We. a day, but some make double thia sum. There are
now between 0.1 and TO at work, but as the cost of the
licensee are mach grumbled at, it is probable this •
number will dwindle down. Some old hands have
struck what they Gall a lead of gold, and are tunnelling
in pursuit of it. The metal found is in demand. and •
good poke is given for it.
Annette OF 00(11) 'MOULD Di PERFECTLY WHOLE.
dr•ve.. Me•T••• importurA .1 rho
port tot, diallow artificial 4.olourlier powder on their imp. au.
althaiTh the pr.m.tice I. t.witinool I thu eL114,..e ti mu( ii
Diu tat iirdiearily sold, to hide the browner, id iiiktrior • intry
flit.. I"' ilia To the itu4. 1f.,, A,' • ton lii
tillifi.nn pule trvugth .01•1 the:time.,
/will" art .Is. r 1•••••1 ~,,r
ELOPF.MINT raw( TUE NoliTH.—Tbo nllO tonic among
the lovers of mandril in a certain city in the north of
Ragland is the elopement, for the second time, of a well-
known danolog-mastrr with the widow of an Indian
offiCal. Thu gon tletnan, who was on •provious occasion
purmeil and brought bask, deserts it young wife and
family, and the case, which is said to he full of PkinAnt
details, will shortly be brought before the Divorce
Court.

ILICITINO BOLIN IN A 14Latrauguill.— On Wednesday
afternoon a young man named Alfred Norwood wu
attacked by • leopard in Messrs.. Bost:.ok and Womb-
well's wild beast show Irbil° putting soles of the
animals through their putormunees at Sunderland.
lie was dragged to the groathl by the back part of the
neck sail heid lir the Li.c of idiu 'mute for about a
minute before the attendants could best the furious
animal oil. Norwood, on bring released, was at once
conveyed to the infiruiary, where it wi, (unto] that his
injuries woro of rather a serious description.
Flobboviai'm PILI4. —This modicum has resisted
every 104 which Lola not
it at kuwili +twos. forth trisikiiiliarit kr, the moist
reliable remedy for Ito &m.o.:mesa. of the 'yin. MR'
Mon at the Challar ...Moll, Wheu the :kir grows ssiiiler,
owl the function+ ol lir ski,. ore reiorils.l. ..,:t•li,1121
pill. will +All on the ii,r 1101 k lake) hfr
mater tl'Y• slot e0un....,t, the .teth tor
action. A+ witenwives, ouririoks,
.4ib, liars TO every agiol 2111 i '1(.111.21te person.
inUfht. 1.,,., f btalth
tlasi Itlediduu will he .4 jirswiuua noui, eunkrrimi both
winoolel.to,Tirth-
SLIDING TIISZATESI4. LETININI Ti) A !fmusTILAIN,
lain who spoke eith for,.ign ascent, and who gave ,
the now,. of Arthur Brown, o.ai on Wedzi,vlay charged
es she ',Westminster Police.euurt, London. with having
ont threatening letters to Mr. A rn,kl, oho of the
magistrates of that court. The letters, shoos or four in
were read, and it would tao that tli, pris•o,er
unutwedb'fr;r 516 id who illeed to have keit iiiir.ed
by i.e Of Mr. Artiohni rue:ten...l deasions. tio,..pen•
...Abet for the injury was demanded, and in the aunt of
its beiug ruined Ilr. Arnold was threatened with the
ku f his life. The prisoner. who de ni• 4I that the IetICTI
wer, .c his Wa•