The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1865-03-07 00:00:00

PICKING-8 FROM "PUNCH."

Lrrertairr Iterithcrosnos--A Cambridge undergra-
duate is informed that Pale-on-tology has nothing to do -
with the works of the author of the Evidences of ;
Christianity.
JESUITICAL DEFINITION.—(By a Student of Stony-
hurst.)— A Severe Order. —To be flogged to-morrow. .
THE FAIRIES' DIOCESAN.—Bishop of Elphin.
"THE GENTLEMEN OF THE LONG ROBS—Baby-boys
before they are shortened.
ART v. NATl:MS.—Sitter : "Oh, I think this position
will do, it's natural and easy." Photographer : " Ab,
that may do in ordinary life, ma'am, but in photography
its out of the question entirely l"
POLICIII—What tune would a person whistle who
had been stealing milk?—" Robin Adair, eh ? ( Bobbin'
is dairy / / /)
THE SECRETS OF THE PRISON HOUSE.—" Dr.
Brown, the principal of the Bloomingdale Lunatic
Asylum, in New York, when giving evidence on a
recent trial, stated that Alder's Orman and English
Dictionary, which is used as a standard test-book in
most of the colleges in the United States, was written
by a person of insane mind in the Bloomingdale Asylum.
He also added several other college text-books were
written in that asylum, and that one of the leading
newspapers in New York is principally edited in that
institution, the leading editorial being written three or
four times a week by a person of unsound mind under
confinement." Punch knows now why "Uncle Sam"
has always persisted in saying that we didn't under-
stand his institutions ; so will all who have read the
above; but "Uncle Sam" has only been partly right,
for though Mr. P. did not know that any of the New
York editors were under restraint as lunatics, he has
long thought that more than one of them ought to be.
A WARNING TO YOUNG LADIES.—Never set your
heart on • doctor. He can only love by fits and atarts.
A CASE IPOR Lawson AND CO.—The attention of
the United Kingdom Alliance is directed to the sub-
joined announcement which hay appeared in the papers:
—"Contract for rum for the Navy.—Her Majesty's
Government has accepted the tender of Messrs. Henry
White and Co. for • further supply of rum to the ex-
tent of 6.5,400 gallons." From the antecedents of the
United Kingdom Alliance it may be hoped that they
will see the necessity of sending a deputation of teeto-
tallers to wait on Lord Palmerston, and remonstrate
with him on allowing the Admiralty to encourage the
liquor traffic, and provide sailors with the means of
indulgence in the consumption of ardent spirits. If
they are only true to themselves, they will not be re-
strained from taking this step by any apprehension of
being contemptuously bowed out, and of Incurring
t public ridicule anew by a fresh act of conceited folly
and impertinence.
, THE UNMANAGEABLE ISLAND.—In order to settle
the Irish difficulty, it has been proposed to abolish the
; Church of Ireland as by law established, and to estab-
lish the Roman Catholic Church in its plane. The
; consequent* of this proceeding would most likely be,
E that the Irish Papists would all immediately turn
Protestants, and that the Irish Church would be as
great a grievance to the Irish people as ever.