The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1878-06-01 00:00:00

AMERICAN HUMOUR,

The Chicago Intclligencer says :—" Within five
minutes after the alarm was given our reporter was on the
ground." A rival paper observes :—" We have little doubt
of it, if he.gave the slightest provocation to the foreman of
the Engine Company."
The Cincinnati Enquirer's Essay on Man is in one
canto, as follows,—
"Man's a vapour,
Full of woes;
Starts a paper,
Busts and goes."

An Indiana barrister, writing home from New
Orleans, dwells with evident gusto on the generous dimen-
sions of the drinking glasses used in the saloons of that city.
He says it made him feel at first as if he were drinking out of
a churn.

The latest is from a city merchant, on account of
the bad times, but to reckon up how many apples Adam ate,
he thinks that "if Eve 8-1 let 4-2 induce Adam, it must be
admitted Adam 8-0-1 let 8-1-2-4-2 oblige Eve. Total
801,202,334.

. .
The American Rochefoucauld says, it is true that
unravelling the cord of man's existence you will generally
find the entanglement begins just in the 20th year part and
that it turns out to be a true lover's knot.

A young fellow who was recently committed to gaol
in Portland, Maine, for an assault, sent a pathetic appeal to
the judge, in which he said :—" I have onley ben married to
months, & I haute had My Honey Moon yet, this is the first
time I ever was in goal or errested. If you will Consider my
case & let me of on a fine I will return to My Darling Wife.'
The stern decrees of justice were carried out, nevertheless.

A negro in Columbus (Georgia) dreamed that he
found five dollars at a certain place in the street. Ile went
to the spot next morning, found one dollar, and now he
accuses the ghost who told him to go there of stealing four
dollars.

A very Daniel of a judge lives in Memphis. He
came to judgment the other day in a case about a goose.
This graceful fowl fell into the river, and it was rescued by a
man and brother nigger, who claimed salvage from its
owner, an Italian. The latter wouldn't pay it and produced
a persuasive pistol, whereupon the coloured person
marched off with the goose and got a warrant for assault.
Then did the goose's owner take out an answering warrant
for the goose. The judge, perplexed, fined both of them,
and kept the goose himself.
A gushing Yankee orator wanted the wings of a
bird to fly to evt ry town and country, to every village and
inlet, in the broad land; but he looked small when a naughty
boy in the crowd sang out, "You'd be shot for a goose before
you had flown a mile"
"Suicide now within reach of all—kerosene only
fifteen cents a gallon," is the joyous announcement of a
Milwaukee paper.
- -

- ---
One of the old blue laws of Connecticut said, "No
one shall run on the Sabbath day, except reverently."
imagine a man just out of church pursuing a flying hat
reverently before a high wind and in the presence of an
interested congregation.

. -
The St. Louts Journ,al says that Boston is Chicago's

The manufacture of paper from wood has reached
the altitude of perfection in Canada. A tree is cut down
and shoved into one end of the mill and five minutes later
there is a neighbour at the other end to borrow the paper.

"TROOPING THE COLOURS" ON HER
MAJESTY'S BIRTHDAY.
The Daily Telegraph of Monday gives the foliowing in-
teresting description of the ceremony of " Troopin,, the
Colours, which took place in London on the celebrat'en of
the Queen's Birthday :

" There is a strange fascination in the music of a
military band. Directly the notes of martial music
and the even tramp of a well-disciplined regiment are
heard in the distance, an instinct of interest puts work
aside, and idle folks, mixed up with the industrious,
run off to enjoy a merry sight. When our soldiers
change quarters, when our volunteers go marching to
the Park, sightseers seem to spring up from the
ground and out of the very stone, as in the days of
Deucalion and Pyrrha. This rule never fails.
Every morning the advancing or departing band at
St. James's Palace is escorted by a careless crowd.
People appear when the music plays, coming
no one knows whence, and disappear when the
instruments are silenced, no one knows whither.
It is natural that on a Queen's Birthday this in-
evitable instinct should be materially strengthened by
a clearly-defined and as clearly-expressed martial
attraction. This is the day for the soldiers. They
are up and stirring early in all the barracks around the
kingdom on the May morning on which this holiday
is kept. The best uniforms come out from the lockers,
the result of all the polishing and pipeclaying of many
weeks has to be brought out in the full glare of the
sun, the chargers are groomed with particular care,
and wherever there is a garrison both sexes of sight-
seers combine in a tacit assurance that they 'doat
upon the military.' But there are no prettier parade.
grounds in the kingdom on the occasion of her
Majesty's birthday than the noble space in the
St. James's Park facing the Horse Guards, and
there are few sights so animated with solid dig-
nity and picturesqueness as the fine old ceremony
of trooping the colours' by the Brigade of Guards.
A nation more ostensibly military than our own would
find it difficult to match this time-honoured cere-
monial, whereat the flower and pick of the Household
Troops pass in array before the Royal spectators and
salute the flag under which they serve, to the spirit-
stirring and ever-moving sound of 'God save the
Queen. We will not stop to inquire why the martia
spirit of London was more excited than usual on the
occasion of the 59th bilthday of her Majesty. But it
was so. Every year the same ceremony takes place,
the troops are marshalled in a long line, the bands
play, the staff with their nodding plumes escort
the Commander-in-Chief to his position at the
saluting-point, the favoured places of advantage
are taken at the Horse Guards windows, the
privilege of admittance between the lines of
sentries is eagerly demanded, and a parade of scarlet
and steel is contrasted against a pleasant background
of fresh spring leaves. But it seemed to be a very
special ceremony on Saturday, and no black clouds
that ever threatened new spring bonnets capable of
being spoiled would have kept the ladies away from
the military show in the Park. Somehow or other
there seemed to be a fixed idea that the soldiers were
to be admired. They were not going away, no fare-
well had to be taken, the band would play to-morrow
at St. James's Palace, and the Wellington Barracks
would hold their own; but still everyone seemed to
desire to gaze upon the military, to admire the grace
and exactness of perfect military formation, and to
be stirred with the strains of martial music. It
is always a sight of which any Englishman may
be proud, and on this occasion all the Englishmen
present deserved to be proud of the sight. It must be
distinctly remembered at the outset that this is no
mere military display but a careful rendering of an
honoured and honourable ceremony. The critics who
attending the parade, comment upon paucity of
numbers and diminished establishment, upon small
companies and failure in strength, are unintentionally
committing themselves to error, for the very
good and simple reason that those who are entxusted
with the management of the ceremony are deter-
mined not to overcrowd their stage. The show does
not profess to be a display of all the Guards in
London; but it does declare that it is a show
of as many picked companies of the bat-
talions of Guards as can be conveniently stretched
from the new Foreign Office building to the tumble-
down old Gun House, now occupied by the Director
of Military Education and protected by an obsolete
cannon. The 'trooping of the colours is a spectacle
pure and simple, and in order to accommodate the
eager crowds of visitors it becomes necessary to
diminish the military strength. If all the possible
Guards came on to the parade-ground the public could
not possibly be admitted to favoured positions, and so,
if there is to be any blame in the matter, the sightseers
must blame themselves. . .

'lt was about the most unpromising day of a very
unfortunate and cheerless May The ladies cer-
tainly dressed with defiant recklessness. They seemed
to say that if the day was not fine it ought to be; and
what was the use of all these tender spring colours,
these leaf tones and russets, these embroidered para-
sols and buttercup bonnets, if they were not to be ex-
hibited? Regardless of colds, and despising such ugly
disguises as waterproofs and macintoshes, out came
the ladies to scan the open parade with their opera-
glasses, and to listen to the military music. They
perche I themselves in a grand stand on the Admiralty
wall, and waited for the sun, so very shy and bashful
this morning, they filled the windows of all the Go-
vernment offices, and they stood bravely on the cold
and sticky gravel, waiting, in hope of fine weather, as
early as nine o'clock in the morning Gradu-
ally the crowds poured in upon the surrounding scene.
In the distance over by Birdcage Walk there is heard
the sound of an advancing band. Through
the green trees is seen a moving mass of scarlet. The
gorgeous bandmaster advances, marking the time with
his gold-knobbed staff, and the Grenadier Guards
march upon the ground, to be formed into a splendid
line of scarlet right in front of the Horse Guards, but
as far back into the Park as space would allow. The
Grenadier hand retires to join its musical companions
in the sheltered corner under the Government wall.
. . . . The Grenadiers once formed into line, there is
now some excitement at an opposite corner. From
the direction of the Mall the sound of music comes
this time; and above the people can be seen white
plumes of horsehair and the gleam of the cuirass.
These are the Life Guards, with their band, come to
increase that splendid patch of colour over against the
Foreign Office.
"The weather looked at its very worst when those
who luckily stood in the Admiralty corner were
favoured with the first sight of the advancing staff.
On they came between the lines of soldiery, prancing,
and curveting, and jingling with chain, and sword,
and spur. Eager eyes followed the brilliant staff, and
selected the special objects of interest. The Crown
Prince of Prussia, in his white uniform, was easily
recognised. So were his aides-de-camp. The Duke
of Cambridge, in Grenadier uniform, and the Duke
of Teck, were next observed. All the members of
the Horse Guards Staff were there—from Military
Secretary to the most Acting Deputy-Assistant of
the Adjutant-General; but where was the Prince
of Wales? The Princess of Wales and the Crown
Princess of Prussia, with the children, had long
ago taken their seats at the Horse Guards' centre
windows; but where was the Pzince of Wales? for
whom a hearty cheer was ready as a welcome after hiS
return from Paris. The Prince of Wales was not
present, that was quite clear; but few knew then
that his Royal Highness was laid up that morning at
home with a severe cold caught in this treacherous
May weather. But it is time to begin; so the
Bandmasters seem to think, for up go the staves,
and, as if by one instrument, is heard the first
few bars of God Save the Queen.' The pro-
ogue to the ceremony of the day is the inspec-
tion of that admirable line ; so the Duke of Cam-
bridge leads the way, accompanied by the Crown
Prince, and followed by a reduced staff. Such an in-
spection could not be otherwise than satisfactory ; for
such a line, so symmetrical and so well matched, was
surely faultless, and there is very little delay in getting
back to the saluting point and proceeding to the cere-
mony. All is in order. The Duke and the Royal
visitors rein their horses by the side of the flag.
The ' colours ' are escorted far out into the
square, immediately opposite to the assembled
bands. On comes the music in slow time, and
strangely falls upon the expectant ear the some-
what too modern melodies of 'Les Cloches de Come-
ville,' and 'Le Petit Duc.' Was it not possible,
some thought, to select for a slow march, and for so
classical a ceremony, some tunes with a less modern
ring than those? It was too solemn a time at this
moment for a suspicion of levity. The quick march
came better with the fine old lilt of the 'British
Grenadiers,' and now followed the ceremony of troop-
ing. When the bands had cleared away, and the
colour company was in possession of the square,
out in front came the young lieutenant —he
was called an ensiign in the old days—to receive
the treasured colours. As the colour-serjeant
advanced, out flashed ail young officer's sword,
and he saluted the roll of crimson with vigour
and alacrity. Having saluted, he accepted the
trust, and with the band playing its merriest tunes,
the colours were taken down the assembled line to
receive the homage of the Grenadiers. All was not
over yet, but down came the rain anil up went the
umbrellas. The day seemed hopeless at this moment,
and the prettiest sight of all was nearly marred. This
was the marching past in qu'ck and slow time. Grand
it was to see the Life Guards advance in perfect order
and wheel without the slightest confusion at that
favoured Admiralty corner. On came the Foot
Guards, marching like one man, the bands play-
ing merrily the while, and the eyes of the Duke
and the Crown Prince firmly fixed in critical in-
spection of every company. The salutes were
given the quick and slow march past was accom-
plished with complete regularity, and then when
the officer in command raised his voice to the words
'Royal -•alute,' out came the kindly sun and caught
every bayonet as it flashed, making a glitter as of
silver. There was no more to be done but to march
(II with the colours to St. James's Palace, the bands
still playing, to the delight of the crowd. The birth-
day ceremony was over, and the bonnets were not
spoiled after all.
As there are various speculations concerning the
origin of this 'trooping," held in such veneration by
the officers of the Guards, it may be interesting to note
a pod story which accounts for one very important
movement. The custom originated with the Prince
Regent, and dates from a time when revelry
of an extensive kind was carried on at the
Thatched House in St. James's-street. The
captain of the guard had the privilege of entertain-
ing his friends at a cost of about £23 or £26
a night, and one of the most constant visitors at this
'feast of revelry and flow of soul' was the Prince
Regent himself. By way of jest the future king
thought fit to invent a military movement to test the
steadiness of the officers, who, after a night's
debauch, were frequently not .so well 'set up'
as they might be. The movement thus inaugurated
was the slow march,' that led to pretty much
the same ' trooping ' as we now see in the Park
every Queen's birthday. Those who could undergo
this ordeal of Thatched House revels overnisht
and slow march in the morning, were, doubt-
less' the favoured guests of the Prince Regent at
the Brighton Pavilion. Had the Prince been able to
see, on Saturday last, the perfect wheeling of the
escort for the colours, he would have known that a
great military exercise has sprung out of a usury jest.
Whilst on antiquarian topics, it may be well to add
that the only time the serjeant-major ever draws his
sword is to salute the colours after they are handed
over to the officer to whose charge they are confided,"