The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1878-12-17 00:00:00

soNNzr.

Composed by • Batchsr in the Arrlcultural lIoIJ. Donal:lbw
th. 1/013
lisrth has not anything to show more fair;
Non. but • fool, prime head, could pais thee by,
Model of massive, meaty majesty;
This creature rpm cloth like a garment W•it,
Tbe beauty of the shambles—to chair;
found, aitnbliona rump, sirloin. •hin, a mfr, and thidk.
Clod, chuck, neck. brisket, rib.-0. gettald
If of the .bow this beast should be my thank
Beal to the very heels! It would be cheap
Ken at three figures such a beast to kill;
Neer saw I. never telt, a frame so dorP
All ripe, Arm flesh for lack, or pot, or grilL
And what • top I Upon it •nu might sleep.
Yu; mighty beast, my shop-front thou shalt fill.

From

- -
A TOUT FOR TRX TIM& —May John Bull DOUR 13•CORIO
John Bully.

A Socotra in the Ritualist Ranks who won't obey hbi
Supoior Otheera—Private Judgmiint
Ton DIF7IIIIEPPCZ /47W11/01 RITUALISTS AWE/ RATIONA•
urrs —Only literal Tim one are Lautudinarians—ttle
other Attitudinariana

Tag Nawirar WAT OF PUTTING 12.—Piat leeperiros—
rust Justitio.
TIMM UST 13111tVANCL —Elowie•Rpler (indignantly): "Ii
our °groused Counthry always to be in the Minorite"
Kr. Flansgan I O. WM ber% he the Lladon Peeper%
that among these Glasgow 11.olt Shareholders, ultras
liagUnd and fkotland are largely intbereete% Oireland Ia
only rignsinted by a bemeetll Too. Karr r

"POST INUITEM r
"Poet equit-m *edit Atrs Cur—Hors.
To ride the High Hone ie delightful, of murals
Tor • rider of awl abundant r«ourcie;
To deo,' • hich to BEN w odd be idle.
No bungler is he whom • .by or • shock
Is like to unsaddle ; a skill ullsr Jock
Never bundled • whip or • bridle.

The Steed appears thoroughly tamed to his hand,
For • burst or. wait ssrewtly under command.
Responsive to "ffoup-Irs 'or' Steady r
The Rider, light-handed, and firm in his seat,
Is • rare one to follow, a bad one to beat,
And for every emergency ready.

And yet Airs Cum sits somewhere behind.
A menacing atwitter, though duAlr, undefined,
With clutch like a storm-cloud impending.
Alt, where might that rider not rid• to and what
Might the pace, and the prises, not be, ware it not
For that sorrel, faced Spectre attending I
Grim-jowled, unrelenting, he hangs in ths Inert
Tenacious as wolf on the track of a deer—
A gruesome and bothering bogey.
Not angry defiance, not negligent lea%
Noe howling nor yowling avails to shake of
That solemn and spectral old fogey.

And now that a critical tarn looms in sight,
With knee-grip on saddle and teeth clenching tight
The Rider gisue heed to his going.
For grim Agra means mischief, of course
And how It might end. if tLat wettlesolue horse
Should chance to take fright, there's no knowing.
REQUIRING :-
Adulteration.
Auction of Livinga
Braces.
Butchers' Bills.
Circulers.
City Churches and Cbari•
ties.
Dirty Street,.
Hume-Rulers.
" Loaded" Silks.
Long Credit.
Lon, Roars.
Long /Speeches in Peril/b-
-oost that lead to nothing.
[And in "Local Perlin-
ments.—lap. and
n.
The victory of General Roberts Mae very pat for the
opening of Parliament. Nothing oould have been luckier
for the Government; and had it been possible to have
purposely created tbe doubtful feeling as to the General's
whereabouts which prevailed for several preceding dayss
it would have been • piece of most 'Secure—though, of
come. unprincipled. political strategy.
Could not the "whips" on either side have arranged
nutters without summoning of Parliament / A postcard
to each member. with • question on the heck of it to
which the recipient was desired to tutu= • monosyllable
answer. "Yee or no might surely have sufficed. The
" Farness" and "Noes" might have been totensd. and
Hamra Adams and Hart Dyke lumber compared notes and
satisfied themselves as to how • division would
li
might have announced the fact to their leadersr,n
settled the matter by sending the figures to the Mom
" Government by postcards" would be a 'malty oar-
Minis,. but then is not Jingo Government also striking
original t One thing is tolerably certain, we thinl4 .
Gladstone would bays readily accepted the verdict of the
postcards, seeing in their nee an implied compliment to
himself, who has done so much to popularise them as •
medium of correspondence.

itiertru

[CATION."
Loug Sermons.
Metropolitan Hallway
peril&
Out-Soor Statures
Peri.totlx—tbe Tscs
p .
Poor Incembenta
Seml-Pepery.
Short Zalle.
Seine
Stimulants.
Strikes all round.
Thick Caen
Thin Shona

People who go Into business by the side of men who
bare a large business built up by constant ad
end never advertise to the extent of a shilling, bovfirdltnent
upon the drippings front the neighbouring sanctuary. are
Ilk. the boys who go to a pigeonehooting match and try
to get the birds that get sway from the regular sports'
man.
The Vim, for so Vies-Chancellor Malins is dnialted
by the profeedon, is accredited. we are persuaded un-
justly. with • rather smart Pan slot. Speaking of the
number of judicial decisions revered on appeal, be said:
—" It is an 111 wind that blows nobody good- When
iIMIIIB fall out, honed men get their own. Whim judges
differ. the lawyers get more cods."—[We don't believe It;
'tie aa ill bird that fouls its own nest. Whence do the
judges come /—Sarrse and Targrans.]
It was " Romeo did Juliet," and the hogs hugging scenes
was on. Said he to her—his wife--(they were audience);
" My, bow I envy Romeo." " And I, Juliet, dear," she
murmured_ Then there ens • lull.
The latest invention in connection with coffins Is this
" Collin Torpedo," which blows to piecesanyone lifting the
lid after it has been filled with one of these explosives and
screwed down. The inventor asserts that hereby body-
snatching will be stopped- Even so, but what of the
body

" Purist thee r wrote • young man to his girl, " forget
thee? When the earth forgets to revolve; when the
stem forget to shine ; when the rain forgets to fall; when
the flowers forget to bloom; then, and not till than, will
I forget thee." Three months later he woe courting
another girl, with a squint and ten thousand pounds.
The wife of a suburban man is troubled with wakefulnele,
and frequently Iles awake for two or three boon alter
ping to bed. Her knehand told bar the other night that
If she would jest imagine a flock ef sheep going through •
narrow Sate._ and count them in her mind, she would soca
fall aaleep. When he woks up be did not kaowbew long he
had been asleep. But he did know that kis wife had
reached out to the washstand near the bed, imMe.
dish, and knocked him on the nose with It
quietly be asked her, In as few weeds a5c.51.111a.--Aat in
the name of seven! Atop she meant. " ," said the,
"I was counting them 'Abdul and I mos•
have gone to sleep, for I __ nee old black ram got
the gate and would not is; sae ' pass through, and I
had just picked ups stone sae **(id to break lsis head
when you woke me up." '' op a stone and broke
his head ' Nothing of the sort; but picked up that 'mo-
dish and mashed my mom" She takm opiates now
Instead of counting ahem

*iAti

pthen

"

7ress

--- •
The Wirt report is, that Parliamsat mill he limbed
ia haulm Yaw Ws won as I moat Plitifr
isisat bin bus thy isessl Mini Is lie mums
all ma,

Mr. Secretary Creel is a very decided man, and very
difllcult to he persuaded that he has made a nustake. If.
bo ...am. be perseveres in Li. 'ideating of putt ut..
Winter Circuit into tie the old Burin; thicitit.
with civil as well as criminal Wainer, and of beginning
out'.. Met n.r of ll,lary Time, he will prove Limited as
wilful vi wrong. Tie .agm cull. t twos
are not VI be ;trooped—will useupy fourtwin Judge.. the
glicalrer port tif there furs month at lerra, cot Selrieral for
a longer periwl. How. them, are the Coyne at Westatin.
it, to ha worked I Including four J. leas of Appeal. and
the one Tice-Ctanerllor, whole to be a Judge of all work,
web two twenty J whim ton seven Cir.mlta, an 4 tit In ail
the C turta in L adon, except the Divorce Court. The
ellect of the Autumn Circuit on the work at Westminster
hal been sulltiieuilrlbaril on suitor.. (ruin the enforced
absence of Judges and a/AWL What will it be In
Jsnuay nt II Mr. Seeretary CCM{ will not hoer TIMM I
lie no use trying to burs the Judicial candle at both
each.

Frost " Whitehall R•e;ett

11, ?ClAlid puhlic +Wens from L a circuro-
dmcd which will .ecount forth. AcclmM I .m of Um
ay•ralm Rusitn la • private boom of the rills lypo
not very fat from Gamlen Town is • printins office whrr•
• Imo. nuinhar of Renal in p4l,licatioot at. priutml, the
compocitors being It aaitn wonma.

Tat heathen Madras/me of the fem.,. variety require.
ODA of two remedies fur Ler complaint, , missioaary
or p iliceuson. Oaa of these daughters of Ere gsve birth
to • female chi I, which was seized with convulsions.
/bins couvinced that this phenomenon might be referred
to S tishfc al 11^ri lb. fad mother pr•iceeded I. icr.
the wretched to ant sil over with • rellot Iron hy way
ot cxsilltg thl evil spirit. She suomeedal in accomplish.
log ha crime of manslaughter, and I hops to hear by next
Inal that she has bean made on ,0 staple of.