The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1869-03-30 00:00:00

Varituts.

FArrerot, Syn.—Magid:mins Clerk (swearing
witness) : " Kiss the book. Mr. Jolter." Mr. Jolter
(ezemplert Old Peasant. "sever beas Wore tko
jo.tioen in bin life:" " Nos, non. I bowl a-goin' to
kun nobody 'cep* my °led worn.."

LITTLE BOY BALLOT.
Little Boy Rau, come blow me your horn,
Many now lova you who laughed you to morn
Where's the marl boo who we. ordered to keep
Under the hustings. tea swleept
Bribing sod bantam bats wallah! him now,
And CalAnat Maulers are patting Fla po•,
Rid dng him bring out hi. musrcal boa,
That beton the notes of the popular von.
"No lan. Nut, APPLY."—( A F00t..)-11o;d : "If
you please, nia'm, I wish to bravo immediately."—
Meares' : "Why T—Maid : "When I took the phew,
11111.431, I was not &wore that muter wee Irish—my
friends would never forgive me If I took service In an
Irish family."--Mistrms: "But you same to as front
the Marquis of Ballymaloney's : " Yes
ma'am • hot his lordship was never at home while I
was there."
_

-I-31-.4W, GLORY. Attitudinal—Five million pounds
voted last session for the Abyssinian war! Three more
millions to be voted immediately by the present Parlia-
ment, and how much besides Robert does not know,
Tbs Income-tax pay..rs bad better make op their minds
to be fleeced altogether to the amount of £10,000,000.
For all these millions we Imre tv show the captives of
the late Theodore. end • quantity of glory. 0 glory !
what millions have been lavished in thy name.

A Parry Porr ro Astithicit.—Tbe National Steam-
ship Company have °frond to the Postmaeter °oilers'
to rne lane sloseiees with ramilerity one.. week from
Liverpool to New York, charring one penny per ounce
for all letters, In order that the Put Offiee might be
able to reduce the °bergs to the public) to on penny
per half.onnee.

MIASMA fIOININAN'a mode of direst importation and
supply to the public through Agents, of tea free from
all artificial facing Domeier, is found very advantageous
to oonsueners, as uniform good quality, and real cheap-
ness I. thereby ensured. Sold only in packet.. For
hot of the Agents In this locality Yee advertisement
DialINEllB, NOlalB 111 Till Ken, kc.-11,wy pervons
imagine it useless to try any remedy for these complaint..
This is en error. For many years Dellor's Eateace for
Decfacss has been need with unquestionable efficacy.
It bee oared many, and
launder., easily applied, and canape no pain. Sold in
bottles Is. lid, each, by Mr. A. J. Evans, eheenist,
Dorchester; Mr. With...., (Meanest, Weymouth; all
ehemista ; and the proprietor, John Pepper, Rif,
Tottenham Court.roed, London. A bottle safely by pod
or 18 stamp*. _ _

_
A Cum roe Ocmuni.—Deilar's Plasters never fail to
give instant relief and speedy cure to all hinds of corns,
bunions, Ac., of whatever standing. Them plasters not
only remove pressure, but soften and extract the root
of the corn. In reducing enlarged toe joints, 'heir
effect has been marvellous. (Sc. testimonials). Price
134 d. per box. itold by Yr. A. J. Evuis, chemist.
Dorchester ; Mr. Williams, chemist, Weymouth; all
ohemiste ; and the proprietor, J. Pepper, 237, Tottenham
Court-Toed, Loudon. A box full by post for 14 stamps.

LUXOSIANT LIND BMA UTIIO4 RAIL—Mrk 8. A. Allen's
World's Hair Rvetarer or Dressing fails to quiekly
restore gray or farad hair to ha youthful colour and
beauty, and with the first application • beautiful
fragrance is giveo to the hair. It stops the hair from
falling off; it prevents baldness: it promotes Inauriant
growth; it causes the hair to grow thisk sad ;
It removes all &idea it contains neither oil nor dye.
In lard bottles. pries six shillings Zylobalaaream
(Kra S. A. Allen's) far excels any poniscle or hair oil.
To those wham hair is naturally dry, requiring frequent
dressing, its cheapness and great value will be proved.
Its eery i.e on abildieres hair will lasers an abundant
and botintiftil supply from youth to o'd age. In large
bottles, price three shillings. Sold by, most chemist&
and perfumers. Depot, 26d, High Holborn, Donlon.
ADVICII TO MOTUILL Are you broken of your rest
by • sisk WIC suffering with Um pain of cutting teeth?
Go at ono* to a °breast, aid get • bottle of Kra.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup. It will relieve the poor
sufferer immediately •' it is perfectly barmier ; it
prrluoss natural qinetalesp, by reliving the child from
pain and the little cherub awakes as bright as •
button." It hat been long in use in America, and is
highly recommended by modioil men ; it is very pleasant
to take; it soothes the child; it sonata the game,
allays all pain, relieves wind, regulates the bowels, aod
Is t 6 boot known remedy for dysentry and dMrAcna,
whether arising from tmthing or other camera Be sur•
aid ask for Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup, and ma
that "Curtis and Perkins. New York and Landon," is
ea the outside wrapper. No mother should be without
li. Sold by all madielue &mien at U. 144. per bottle,
London Depot, 206, High Holborn.

HOLLOWAY'S PILLS afford iestant relief. Indigestion
ems rise to • large Mars of the maladies of mankind:
It °cessions wom miseries thee the looter knows name.
for. Indigestion springs from may come, over which
Holloway'. pill. mereirs the most perfect eontrol. They
sat al cues on the stomash, liver, bowels, Lad kidoeys,
and correct their torpid, detective, or disordered
functions. They restore the waiving appetite, idrensiben
the feeble stomach, sad Imre Wee dyspeptie sick-head.
ache, and maoy aseralme teruseale. They meal every
organ to • true nom of its duties. Holloway's pith
hem with futility cured mese of bad digestion which had
misled for a long time and bellied randy reedisal skill.
They are reliable remedies ter all varieties of isdigsstiou
Volt BLANC—The oelebrsted blunt, the late
Albert Smith, and to relate that In the last efliage it.
ha reached the mom', of Moot Blanc (Mammal, which
may be said to be is tbe aloud.), he found it, to his nu,
prise, posted over with Holloway's placards, sad Cs-
°mend that this orarmeet and pills were there sold, In
large quantities,. at a little grocer's shop. "After-
wards," said be, when I went to Mina, there again
Holloway stared me in the fees. If I went into • house
to purchase any trilling &Aids, I was immodiately slaked
If I did not want some of Helloway's pills. At last I
become so annoyed with r.çlililoeaof those impertinent
*pities, that I exoledasad. • Hoeg the fellow end his
pills too! I wish be wee be in ROTIR•Kong, or In
some wanner place." Oh! but,' said • shopkeeper, ' I
keep two old French missionaries travel/lug for
Holloway In different ports of Mina, main bin
medicine, with their direetioes to Mines% and their
sale is immure.' After this hieideot I seriously began
to (MACAW' myself, to know if I Waked Ill; hut to my
entire satisfestion, I found my fate and feelings pass
master well ; but Neill I scald not hale seprensieg meow
Rhona t at the wonderful eaterptise of this ma, who has,
by hil indeatry, made Ids same se onivenally known to
the four misers of the earth ; and I emiluded that there
certainly meat be some estreordisery virtue in his
matelots, or they would have exploded years ago,
the best of things soon ow themeless oat whereas
these two medians' sperm to have taken a firm bold
of nearly the whole Inman rice." We don't presume
to say aims than is any portioslar mystery Most either
Holloway's pills or his ointment, but that he has been
fortunate *aeries to offer to the public two eery metal
istsdishesa there ma b., so &set. His theory spews
to be that Use blood is the faulted& of Id*, sod that
this living laid is every moment usilergeneg shanp,
and that *bosom is beet adapted to preenree its parity
mast, of eosins, be the means also cif esaimreing health.
That Holloway has, by • leaky hit—whether by Moose
or otherwise—dismerered sert•in iogreet.ote admirably
adapted to acoomplish this end, moot be pinsay
OS We have heard that all (tholes* of the liver
eloossoh yield to the Inflames of Sle'pilis —adt that we
bwo ever triad them, nor Is there any desire on our
part to do so se we have • porthole, aversion to an
Ida& ot medieine. Oar worthy father died at the ripe
ap of &Jolty dive, sad sever took • dose Is his Ile, sad
ea hope to do the sasea—assien Trearifir.

DereAmity

Timmer'
Dorchester
Olorstoo

WanWm
Pooh, Jana
Bentham*"
London