The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-07-17 00:00:00

MRS. GRUNDY'S ADMINISTRATIVE REFORM.

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MRS. GRUNDY is about to set her house in order. So, after
it has been properly cleaned, and painted, and papered from
top to bottom ( which, of course, Mrs. Grundy is to pay for,)
she is resolved, once and for all, upon having quite a new sys-
tem of things established and maintained in her establishment.
She will no longer allow her house to be the scandal of the
neighbourhood. The following are a few of the Reforms she
has set her heart upon :
I. The door to be closed every night at eleven.
11. The mistress of the house to have the exclusive hiring

of the servants.

111. Nothing but cheese for supper !
IV. No more breakfasting in the bed-room—whether a
person is ill or not !
V. No more soda-water to be sent for early in the morning t.
VI. The page to be exchanged for a footman.
VII. The footman to be not less than five feet six, and in

livery of course.
VIII. The children's dresses no longer to be paid for out of
the housekeeping-money.
IX. Nothing hot to be brought up from the' servants' dinner
for luncheon in the parlour—not for anybody ! no
matter who he may be !
X. The breakfast things to be taken away every morning
precisely as the clock strikes nine.
XI. The cook before going to bed to bring up, every night,
the key of the larder.
XII. The cribbage-board to be locked up on Sundays.

XIII. No whistling allowed in the drawing-room. -
XIV. No invitations to be henceforth accepted, unless the
name of Mrs. Grundy is included in them.
XV. Mr. Grundy, for the future, to pay for his own washing.
XVI. All letters to be opened by Mrs. G., for Mr. Grundy
should have, and moreover he says he has, no secrets
from his wife—and if there are secrets in those letters,

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he cannot object to her sharing them with him.
As soon as the above reforms are carried, others of a still
more stringent nature are contemplated.

THE NEW PURCHA.SE.—BLANCHE (who dotes upon horses).
" There, Frank. Isn't she a pretty creature ? Papa gave her
to me this morning. She is so good tempered ! And what a
nice head and neck she has ! Hasn't she now ? She's quite
young too—and such a beautiful mouth ! Now, what do you
say, sir, eh ?"—FRANK (who is so absurd)-: " H'm ! let's
see. Pretty creature ! Good tempered! Nice head and
neck ! Young ! And a beautiful mouth ! Why, I say, you
make a capital pair !"
A LITTLE WHITE FLAG.—It was to be expected that the
Russian, officer in command at Hango Iyould justify the mur-
der and 'the capture of the men or the Coisacii. Therefore,
Missian, goverument: assured :time the' flag of truce
hoisted on the occasion was " only a little white flag on a
stick." Well, it was a white flag : even the Russian officer
does not deny that fact. The question would seem to be, in
the Russian mind, the dimensions of a flag of truce. How
many yards of white bunting or linen constitute the sanctity
of such a flag P " The crew of Lieutenant Geneste's boat"—
says the Russian poltroon—" was caught in their own trap."
Since the wolf in the fable devoured the lamb for muddying
the stream, there has never been put forth so atrocious an
excuse for atrocity committed, as by this Russian bear in com-
mand at Hango.

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