The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-10-18 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.
Amongst the sentimentals recently published is a
ballad, which begins

"Who will come above me sighinc,
When the grass grows over me V"

We can't say positively who, but if in a rural district it may
probably be the cow.

A Chicago man's nightmare turned out to be the
shadow of h s wile's foot on the bedroom wall, instead of an
unearthly monster with five horns.

A Minneapolis painter received an order from a
restaurateur to paint a sign with the word "Oysters" in
various langua es, SO that a man of any nationality might
understand that that was the plaee to get bivalves. The
painter went to work and made the sign read, " American,
Dutch, Norwegian, and French oysters."
Oa the wall of a railroad-station in Indiana is posted
this notice —'' Loafing in this room is strictly forbidden and
must be observed.

A society for the suppresion of slang has been formed
among the pupils of the Girls' High School of San Francisco.
Said a reporter to one of its members, "Your object is a
praiseworthy one. Do you think it will succeed in eradica-
ting conversational slang ? " Said she, "You bet!"

"Where have you been, Caesar?" "Oh, Bah, I've
been down to Mr. Pashpull s!" " Where ? There isn't any
such name." "Why, it's written up on de door, cap'n. One
side ob de door it says 'Push,' and de odor it says 'Pull.'
Ain't dat Pushpull ?"

A woman went to a circus in Terre Haute, Indiana,
accompanied by eleven children, and when a neighbour
asked her where the old man was, she said he was at home
taking care of the children. Another neighbour called at
the house, and seeing the old man trying to amuse nine
young ones, asked where the old lady was. He said he had
let her go to the circus with the children.

No man can go down into the dungeon of his ex-
perience, and hold the torch of truth to all the dark
chambers and hidden cavities, and not come up with a
shudder and a chill as he thinks of the time when he under-
took to talk politics with the deaf old father of his first
sweetheart, while the girl was present herself.

A Detroit citizen, who was doing some marketing,
had his attention attracted to a boy about twelve jean of
age, who seemed anxious to get hold of one of the many big
water•melons piled up in the market It seemed like a good
chance to sow a seed in the lad's mind, and the citizen
beckoned the boy, and queried, "My son, would you like to
steal one of those melons?" "Yes, sir," was the prompt
reply. "You would, eh? lam sorry to hear that. If you
should sted one of those melons, my boy, do you know what
the result might be?" The lad scratched his head, surveyed
the pile again, and answered, "1 'spect the plaguy thing
would be green all the way through!"

A Southern nigger, arrested with chickens in his
sack, dealared, "Do man dat put 'm dar was no fren of
mine."
A Washington belle is thus pleasantly and enthusi.
astically described by an American correspondent. "She if
a lovely girl," he says " with satiny hair, very pure com-
plexion, sea-shell-tinted in the cheeks, and enough of the
family nose to give character to her f ace. There is not a
curl or a crimp, nor a sign of an abbreviated look about her,
but the bands of her pale, luxuriant hair brushed smoothly
back, and done up in a Greek knot, fastened with a tortoise-
shell comb. She moves with willow grace and looks and
walks the gentle, unmistakable lady, the breath ot peace
upon her lips, the shine of an undisturbed quiet in her starry
eyes."

A scene of much patriotic and commercial interest
is reported from the locality where the United States gene-
ral is chasing the Indians—when it is not the reverse way of
the thing. The general came up to a farm where a poor
German was crying as though he had been Just perusing
Goethe's Sorrows of Werther, or Bans Breitman's Party.
"What's the matter, my man," exclaimed the general.
"My pantaloons, general.' 'Well, my man, much kicked,
oh! not a hole In them, I trust?" "No, general, the
Indians has sthole twelve pair of my new pants." "Sorry
for your loss, my man, but haven't time to talk about it
now. If we can catch up with these demons we'll atop
their devilries for good and all." "Yes, I know, general, I
know," eagerly whispered the man, hanging desperately to
the officer's stirrup, "but when you come up with the
Indians with my new pants on, for kracious sake, general,
tell the soldiers to shoot high!"

An American naturalist, while investigating the
causes and effect of the poison of a wasp-sting, nobly deter-
mined to make himself a martyr to science, and accordingly
handed his thumb to an impatient insect he had caged in a
bottle. The wasp entered Into the martyr business with a
great deal of spirit, and backed up to the thumb with an
abruptness which took the scientist by surprise. He was so
deeply absorbed In the study of remedies that he forgot to
make any notes, but his wife wrote a paragraph in his note-
book for the benefit of science, that the primary effect of a
wasp-sting is abrupt and terrible—and such words