The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-10-04 00:00:00

`-.1.. istellantous fliettigatct,

HOME, FOREIGN, AND COLONIAL.

Pitmen AND EXAMPLIL—Great Grandpapa. "Oh,
Indeed! you *an lick your sisters at lawn•tennie, can
you? Well done, my boy! But beware of self voncsit,
and never brag. Why, I could lick Oferybod. at lawn.
tennis, when I was your age—or oould have done if
there'd been any lawn-tennis to play I I was the best
cricketer, the beat fencer, the beat boxer, runner,
jumper, swimmer, and diver I ever came across,
either at school, or college, or after; and in classics
and mathematics I beat 'ens all clean out of the field!
As for riding, no one ever toughed me; or dancing
either; let alone that I was the handsomest man in
the county, and the best-dressed, for that matter; be-
sides being the wittiest and the most popular. Ay,
and such a song as I amid sing, too I And yet a more
modest and unassuming demeanour than mine it's
never been my good fortune to set eyes on, man or
boy, these fourscore years and ten—for I'm all that,
my boy, and more, though you'd never believe it, to
took at me I--Beware of selfoonecit, my boy, and
never, never brag 1 "—Punch.
TER Homo or Loans—The fees received at the
House of Lords in the financial year ending the 31st
of March amounted to £32,503 16s. Yd., of which
£1,877 12.. 10d. were Judicial fees, £30,566 19s. 9d.
Bill few, and £59 4.. "fees on the introduction of
Peers."
EXPENSES OF FOETIFICATIONS.—A statement show-
ing the expenditure recorded to March 31, 1879, out
of the moneys issued out of the Consolidated Fund,
for the expenses of fortifications, Its., has been issued.
The totals for the various places were as follows :
Portsmouth, £3,060,888 141.83. ; Plymouth, £L477,496
ss. ; Pembroke, £305,848 2s. ; Portland, £460,476 165.;
Gravesend, £320,745 lls. lid.; Chatham. £274,005
is, 3i.; Sheerness. £389,528 13s. 4<1.; Dover, £293,844
16s. ad.; Cork, £193,861 lie. B<l. ; providing and fixing
iron shields, £403,632 lls. gd. ; incidental expenses,
works, £156,598 se. 3d.; experiments, £15,237 As. lid.;
surveys, £23,524 4s. 9<1.; legal and other incidental
expenses, £26,025 153. bd. ; total recorded, £7,391,713
143. 7d ; balance of expenditure of financial year,
1878-9, not brought to charge on March 31, 1879, say,
£3,309; total, £7,396,022 148. 7d.

THE "Mir Lovolionvii."—Bargossi, the Italian,
who styles himself the "man locomotive," has just
performed a great feat. Starting from Montpellier,
on foot, at four in the afternoon of Sunday, the 21st
Inst., he arrived at Bordeaux at the same hour on the
26th inst. The distance 13 520 kll. (325 miles), which
he thus covered in five days—an average of 65 miles
per day. This pedestrian performance is well-nigh on
a par with the greatest efforts of a like kind of
Weston, the Amerioan, especially when it is taken
Into consideration that the latter, during all his six
days' walks in London, had a smooth and beaten track
to walk upon instead of ordinary roads, as in the case
of Bargosei. The latter, it may be remarked, wins a
bet of 3,0001 r, by his exploit.
WHY ARP ALL CURATES CONSERVATIVIS.—Becauee
a Tory is more than half way to a Ree-tory.—Punch.
TRH SUPPLY OP AMERICAN AID CANADIAN FOOD.
—The following were the consignments of freak meat
and live stook landed at Liverpool during last weak :
Montana, 830 quarters of beef and 325 carcases of
mutton; Helvetia, 533 quarters of beef and 59 carcases
of lambs; Bohemian, 195 quarters id beef; City of
Montreal, 130 quarters of beef, 100 carcases of mutton,
and 50 dead pigs; the Germania, 660 quarters of beef
and 200 carcases of mutton; the Pembroke, 210 live
cattle, and 1,326 sheep; Bohemian, 318 cattle, 838
sheep, and 336 pigs; Quebec, 262 cattle, 206 sheep, and
88 pigs; Palestine, 204 cattle and 214 sheep • and the
Lake Nepigon, 134 cattle and 950 sheep, being 3,738
quarters of beef, 625 carcases of mutton 50 dead pigs,
59 camases of lambs, 1,128 live cattle, 3,034 sheep, and
424 pigs. When compared with the previous week
there is a perceptible decrease in all classes of food,
though the reduction is more noticeable as regards live
and dead sheep.
00317STITION IN 1211 IRON TRADR.—A few days
ago a oontraot was decided in Heleingfors for 16,000
tons of rails for the use of the Finland State Rail-
ways (says the Estaing Slenwlarol.) The keenest com-
petition was shown to swans the order by the largest
English, Belgian, and Rumianrailmakers, Eventually
the contract fell to Herr Krupp, of Ewen, out of a
list of twenty-five tenders. In this list three tenders
were for iron rails at £5 28. 6d, per ton delivered in
Finland. The other tenders were for steel rails, and
Herr Krupp's price, being the lowest, was atcepted at
£5 2s. 3d. per ton in Finland. His price for fish-
plates was IT per ton and for screwed bolts and nuts
au) per ton. Essen is about the same distance from
its shipping port, Rotterdsen, as Sheffield is from
Hull, and the sea freight from the Dutch port would
be a little higher than that from the east coast of
England. Therefore, in respect of cost of carriage,
the leading firms tendering were about equal. a,
TRVl.—Jones Bays it is not a very good delnition of
a coffin to Gall it the house that a man lives is when
he is ifead.—jegiy.
CONGREGATIONAIa Surento.—" O. R., writes to Tha
Tian .-81r,—A great improvement in congrega-
tional singing was effeoted by the compilation of
"Hymns, Anelent and Modern," whereby a parti-
cular time was amodated, once for all, with a parti-
cular hymn. Could not some similar plea be adopted
with regard to the Psalter. Had each psalm its own
peculiar and appropriate chant, well known to all
Churchmen, a greater interest would be felt in singing
and people solid go to church to join in the service,
and not merely to hear it performed by the choir.

OLD Pinnt Moxxv.—Paper money ofrcalated in
the American Was of Independence is still to be found
in the United States, carefully preserved as a relic.
One old note worth ie. Ed., issued in 1771 and used
for the pay of the soldiery, is owned by a family in
Albany. On one side is a square containing a ring
which in its turn encircles a oornuoopia, very rudely
drawl; and engraved with the representation of a poor-
house, while beneath is inactibed the motto adopted
by Benjamin Franklin for his copper coinage, "Mind
your buiiiness." A circle of thirteen rings with the
names of the States which at that time composed the
Union occupies the other side of the note, and in the
centre are the words, "American Congress," and
'We are one'
THB RILL OBIBINAL MOWING•MACHINK.—Time.—
Fun.

PRRSENTING TFIBI WRONG CARD.—Daring his visit
to Paris, a distinguished German professor presented
himself at the house of a well-known lady to whom he
had sent letters of introduction in advance (says the
Court Journal). When the servant opened the door
and rec,ieved his card, she conducted him to the
boudoir and told him to be seated. saying, "Madame
will come immediately." Presently the lady entered.
She was in deshabille, and her feet were bare, oovered
only with loose slippers. She bowed to him carelessly,
and said, "Au, there you are—good morning:" She
threw herself on a sofa, let fall a slipper, and extended
her very pretty foot to the professor. He was naturally
completely astounded, but he remembered that at his
home in Germany, it was the custom sometimes to kiss
a lady's hand, and he supposed it was the Paris mode
to kiss her foot. Therefore he did not hesitate to
imprint a kiss upon the fascinating foot so near him,
but he could not avoid saying, "I thank you, madame,
for this new method of making a lady's acquaintance.
It is much better and certainly more generous than
kissing the hand." The lady jumped up, highly
indignant, "Who are you, sir, and what do you
mean?" He gave his name. "Then you are not a
chiropodist?" "I am charmed to say, madame, that
lam not." "But you sent me a chiropodist's card ? "
It was true. The professor, in going out that morning,
had picked up the card of a chiropodist from his bureau
and put it in his pocket. This, without glancing at it,
he had given to the servant, who had taken it to her
mistress. There was nothing to be done but laugh
over the Jae.