The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1878-06-04 00:00:00

RULES FOR CORRECT RITAKT_NO AND POLITE

OONvgRATIoN

Instead of saying, Ii to too you," say. "I am
very sorry you have come.
'intend of "He nu a man notorious for his
benevolonoe, say, 'if. was • horrid old ecrew."
Instead of saying. "I am going owe the bridge," my,
"lam not snob • fool."
Imbued of flaying. " He Is remarkably handsome," say,
"Dvi you ever me such • perfect fright r
Instead of saying. '' I oily want two shillings." say, "I
not., much motley as you an loud me'
_. . . .

In;t7wl of saying, I !rad tatbar hare your company,"
gay. "I greatly prefer roar room."
Indead of asytog, " you and 1 the battle try," say,
"Let you and me the battle lbw."
Instead of s.yisj, "What Marti/NJ tea'" my, "What
wretched Mug r
_

Instead of wing, " I maggot ths Dermal, of Ins dory,"
my, "What s cram r
Instead of saying " Hem logs his honourod head." say,
'rhos' rain his lyingitongne.,
humid of sating. "1 hops somebody IU pug kfies in
claims," say, " I hope no on* will find him out of them."
Instead of wing, "I knew it proclaim to your telling
say, " A pinch fa stele mews.
lust2ad of miring, "A married pair," my, "A camas of
gorse.. _

laited of nyisi. "I said. says, 1.--hold your league.

ESCoURAGEIERNT FOR THE ARMY:

Nil-
A yunifarm workne tut i olds the pallageum of
poroohial economy. There mama% be no disc-rimer
nation between the wictinin of miefortun and the
Paupers wot am come to porYerty through wice and
unprovidenoe. If so be a man ave left his wifiand
famaly cbargabel on the Parish it don't Glossily a pin's
ad weather be was snaohed away by Sodding Deth or
the Caul of Dooty. Porochial economy proibbits the
Gentians to alow one set of Paupers any luxorys or
comforts beyond south.,. They mustn't do no more
for cony on em than keep 'em from Starreahun, and
they can't do no less for none. 'rood never duo to
treat Paupers like other °fenders and diwide 'em into
clause, and for there to be a Foot Clam of Paupers
like there is of Minsplemesniants. Sitch a hinvidous
distinkshun am that hair wood be the Thin End of the
Wpm. The Fust Class Paupen wood bitneby get to
be Pensioners, in door and out, the latter smokin their
Gigots and 'Pippin their clarrit, wilst has for the
fritter, at this tinie of yore we shad werry shortly
be hadwertisin for tenders to supply 'em with lion and
No. yer honour, the principuls of
poiP=economy ',quires all Paupers wotsomedever
to be treated as beically wishus, and witch they at.
These here then, yore honner, bein my centiments,
hi shood in wares be the wery last puaeou to jine in
the cry ow aid it hie for the pore wives and children
of the men wot's ben not of the Returnee into
the barmy bon through loss of their fathers' imploy.
Went throw'd on the parrish not for to be granted
suffishant houtdoor r lief wot with the Garment
alowance to kepe 'em out of the wurkna, be& en it is
and ment to be a palse of penisl manetenence. Wen
the men left the barmy and jined the Reserve, and
marry'd, and so on, they know'd wot the?' Was Sabel
to, and their wives so wel. So they ain gr* no rite
to complains notsomdever, nor no more dam to any
extry consideration than bother. u. So wen i says
rather shard %wood be advisabel to make rum
Huai difference in favour of them they've left behind,
yer honner, i'm share you'll unit* me of *Yin bin
swdooced from parochial eaallomy by any tort of
pittifull and morkith feline. No. no, yer honner ; but
' wot I feels is this, wot the conaequens mite bee of
can such economy in their cau strictl7 hoot.
elir whams and fathers has left their omes and
ockipeahons if necesoary to fite for their country.
They won't fit* praps with all the sperrit they mite if
they *dill to think their country aye aloud their wisest
and children to be dray eo moony abendon'd Paupers
into the workus And then they may say to their.
selves wot fools we ems ever to banter the harm, and
the fissure at all, and bother men inclined to list for
fnCmay take waren by their exam* not to
it, witch ain't by no means the tort of exam*
we means to set by the porochlal economy of drivin
abandon'd Paupers into the work= as a rool. A
werry hexoellent root, but there's no roots without
issepshuns, not heron the roots of porochial economy,
tho' the ixepehun to the ahoy honly prunes the roof.
But Ducts must wen the derv'. drives, hand has to the
Resurve menu's destitoot wives and children Pm*
arra& our vriesst coarse would be to make a Luepahon,
no as not for to push porochial economy too fur for
public safety. Witch, lusted of 'aria, it would be
penniwies and poundfoolish in the end. Cause wy,
arter all, in the long run porooltial and public
hintereste is the same. It won't pay for us to set the
works' agin the barrlcks, and for the Releerin Officer
to withold Meat so as to Materiar with and frost,-
rat. the Recrootin Sarjaat. Worry sorry to say en, as
yu may suppose, but that, Onner'd Sir, 'ood be too
bad for even your Obejeat Uinbl. Beadle,
Mama.

P.S.—Wives, 6d. • day each, children 2.11--Wrial
°unseat make it up snuff to keep 'em out of the
Ouse' wen the necessaty for so doin is hobvius even to
the werry porochial autherritiss theirselves Wot
must be the comeliness to the British harm; of the
warksa pittin for to he named the British Sojers
Indignant Wives' sad Ohildrens' Axil= 1' Still, U
possabel, spare the raltpayers.