The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1870-04-23 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

New York Pchoot children now carry loaded revolvers
for reit-protection.*

The man wh.) brought eighty-seven ladies to a ball
in Birmingham, Pennsylvania, received the prize—a gold
watch.

- -
There are thirty murderesses in the Michigan
penitentiary, many of whom are said wo be "positively
beautiful.

A youthful belle named Fanny Joy has just married.
She was a thing of beauty, but had no desire to remain a Joy
for ever.

S ni ungenerous biped has a patent medicine to
m4ke a fellow rise early in the morning. A Ii months old
baby can beat it

The Yankee papers are asking their readers to re-
peat the following reply :—" Anti .he stood in the arbour
welcoming him in"

A New York draynaan owns a horse so thin that a
knot h tied In It tall to prevent hie body from slipping
through the collar.
-

A lady eX-elli—tri her extreme love for diamon.le and
other precious stones by saying, '' They are the only bright
things on earth which never lade." .

C-hbkene are taken at the box-office at Brigham
You, g's theatre, and change is made with eggs. Of course
the drama witnessed is Fowl Play.

A young holy in Philadelphia advertises that she
win dive 30.00 dollars to any respectable young mau who
will marry her.
'

An Indiana paper reports that a young lady in that
State was rec.ntly licensed to marry two gentlemen, and
adds that she m rio only one !Amoy. The paper does not
sMte which one that was, but IL must have been the one she
did not marry.

A QmkereFe Raid recently to a friend, in reference
to the Quaker formula of marriage .• It is true I did not pro-
mi,e to they when I was married, but I might as wal, for I
had to do It."

One of the reigning hello; of New York was heard
to remark that she did not think It compensated one to go
to parties and be intr, duced to a lot (.4 small boys who
should he accompanied by the .r rurses, as they did not
know how to behave at the supper table.
- -

- -
One of the 1304.,n preach.rs sa)a : " I have great
hopes of a wicked man slender hopes of a mean one. A
wicked (11411 may be converted and become a pre-eminent
saint. A mean man ought to be c mverted am or seven
times, one melt after the other, to give him a fair start and
pit: him on an. equality with a bold wicke man !"
- - - -• • • •

,
One of the modern specimens of fast ladies who wish
to be men, in some respects, has been reading law. She Is
now in agonising doubts as to her being a wife. She says,
marriage is the greatest lottery in life," and as "lotteries
are illegal" the inference is harrowing.
- -

The young women of Lewiato;n, New York, have
formed a Society pledging themselves not to Icb.s any man
who uses tobacco, sad the young men have formed a society
pledging themselves not to lault at a young woman who
wenrs false hair. As a consequence marriage liceuCes are not
In active demand.

The presantatirm of a diamond ring to a Cincinnati
actress, the other l!ay, gave a sifted reporter of that city
the opportunity for this remarkable outburst : " it was a
trill cc tribute from an humble admirer of the noble drama
to a Willi:tut beacon upon the shot tower of histrionic
genim."
An American paper gives the following reply to an
Imaginary correspondent :—"There is no stated rule for
writing love-letters. You should write on foolscap paper,
and hear on as soft as 3ou can, using words of such burning
love that they will sizzle on the point of the pen. ills also
advisable to sling In a hunch of pathos occasionally, soon as
• Deare,t Augustus, I love 3ou with a love larger than an
elephant's; I think of you every day, and Wand-hoe, when
the dna grow longer, I shall think of you twice a day' It
Is also well to put an lank-blot in the corner, with the obser-
vation, Darling, I kissed this spot,' or, • I have a sigh In
this "
• •

S ,me years ago a Lazy Man's Society was organised
In Philadelphia, and one of the articles required that no
man belonging to the soc,ety should ever be in a hurry. If
he violated this article he was to stand treat to the other
members. Now It happened on Mime that the village doctor
was seen driving post haste through the streets to vi=it a
patient. The members of the society saw him and chuckled
over the Ilea of a treat, and on his return reminded him
of his fast siding. and violation of the rules. " Not at all,"
said the doctor, determined not to be done ; "the truth is,
my horse was determined to go, and I felt too lazy to stop
him." They did not catch him that time.