The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1867-12-24 00:00:00

a bristmas Storks.

A NICE MINCE PIE; OR THE MERRY MAIDS
OF NIDDLERRX.

Mr. Howard Jones—a py bachelor just three-an&
tardy, the proprietor of a pleasant villa and a
retty
•eccine left him by a maiden annt—wee
p 3
ltzing Frfb*Pt his twentieth waltz, decidedly
Wa
thethed and flurried with champagne. Tall and wall-
] cejnying brilliant health, he was bashful esi •
nim
bebe, in • lady's presence. Good-natured, neitfaer
bright nor stupid, his unfortunate timidity made him
efee3 duller than be really was. Frolicsome girls
wit they felt an inclination te give him a push, to
eet him gomit• And yet he longed to pay his oourt
to many a fair one, though he never could mininion
the courage to do so. And so, like many other
.."erds, he resolved at last to make one deeparing
rlunge. Ile would conquer his shyness—and he bad.
It remained to be seen whether the care would be
permanent
It wee early in the morning (a quarter past elm)
the 2-th of N-v-mb-r, Ih6- [a greater precision
in our dates would be indiscreet], that Mr. Howard
-Junes was thus recklessly waltzing, with high-
cd,ured cheeks and excited brain. His partner at
the time was a Mdlle. Petiteet a charming French
blonde, not more than eighteen, who had learnt
Engl,sh in her convent school, and whose parents had
erased the Channel to fulfil an important oommercial
minion. French people never travel for nothing.
trnerlling for travelliog's sake is • thing unknown.
Petitoes seemed excited too, not with chain-
pasue, but with her situation. Mr. Jones had
otientled her notions of etiquette by talking—re-
markably oonfidential talk too—during their welts.
In her own country, she might have manifested dis-
pleasure ; but here, as she afterwards observed to
her friend., '1 supposed I must do at A-r-roceie as
oiler people' does_ at R:r-rome,.'

A knot of pretty girls, on the foremost seats, were
whiapering ea they watched Jones's ph(' nominal per-
formances They had all pleaded fatigo • that waits,
for the sake of comparing notes toget her. Chaperones
and wallflowers posted behind, leaned furward their
elaborately decorated beads to listen. T heir carimity
was roused by what they could not hear, aed din
lee understand. Something was eviditutly is the
wind ; it was the duty of duennas to find est what
'I have beard that it never rains hut it peen,' said
a nameless young lady whom her fries de addressed
as 'Goody.' and whose individuality we snit not
further particularise; ' but I never bew such an
instance as this.'

' I thought he was serious, though it was very
strange,' pouted Laura Leeson, a sweet little cherub,
.-areely seventeen, promising, however, to become
the very duplicate of her honoured mamma, now fiat,
fir, and forty. 'At first, I really Munaght he was
serious; but from what you say, hennas*, he many.'
' Abominable !' angrily ejaculated Mies Stephens,
threatening to vent her rage in the destruction of a
"ountifuflyrmhroidered bandkereniet. ' Shameful!
Trifle with our feelings in that way!'
Poor Sarah Stephens was the most indignant of
the group and the loudest in her cries of injured in.
nocenoe. Nevertheless, she was not the youngest,
but, as it happened, the very ceir ens. There were
rumours that she was three-stud. thirty—people will
utter such shocking calumnies! When pleased (not
always the case) she looked *l.c-end-twenty ; when
displeased, older than we &re put in print,.

'l'm sure I cannot nod erfitand it!' said Nash
Lonschampe, almost whim peeing as she stooped her
tall at figure to confer Witt her friends. '1 was
not astonished at what he 'said to me; because—be-
cause—no matter what. But that he should say the
some to other girls aa w sa—l'm sure I asablot com-
prehend it.'
'S. dear! Noboe,y believed you would,' Miss
Toachwood sharply and abruptly observed.' This
young lady, a baron it's daughter, bad lost both her
parents in early Kit !hood, and bad consequently ac-
quired a habit of deciding for herself in spite of
governennes and 'die beads of 'Establishment, for
Young Ladies (T..imited)." Norab cannot under-
stand it! But North never promised to set the
Thames on fire. Perhaps one of three days, dear
North, try, especially if Mr. Jones will offer to
help you.'

t be unkind, Emma; it's very annoying.
You twos me becasse you Cr. annoyed yourself.'
Not. I, indeed,' replied Emma, laughing. 'lt is
ton ri &colons for that. A woe young gentleman is
Mr. Howard Jones! To offer to five different girls
in the course of one bell! Assuredly, as Goody
'arri, it never can rain but it must pour outright For,
I will bet my diamond brooch against Mrs. Pinch-
beck's porcelain cameo, hero coulee another rival,
and consequently favoured fair one Number Six l'
Mr. Howard Jones advanced with Iddle. Petitose
an Ms arm, to restore that young lady to her
mamma's protection. Then, with an unsteady bow,
he retired.

' Well, what did he say to you, ma obere?'theother
girls inquired, without giving her time to resume
Immr.leat.
moo Dieu, Ido not know; I cannot tell. Be
was verse ; quill original; Dotting but
mocentricity Britannique.'
' Did be ask, ma cher., if you like mince pie?
'Slims Totichwood significantly and poled', inquired.
' yak :he invited me to lunch off mince pie
at hi villa to-morrow after mid-day. He told me,
"So many winos piss you eat before Ch-ristreas,
so many happy year shail you have." He said he
should like to eat mince pie toider wit me every
day of dam long happy year—
' The wretch ! gasped poor Sarah Stephens,
frantically waving her emoroidered handkerchief,
which auto her what the fan is to tbe Spaniard, the
knitting-needles to the German, the pipe to the
Turk. 'Th. traitor! he said the very rms thing
tome.' . • . .

'And to me too!' ingbed :Corals Longohamps,
But I should'nt wonder. after all, if he was think-
ing of me when he wished to eat mince Meal the year
round.'

.....
'Silly girl!' exclaimed Miss Touchwood. You
are not • winos pie, nor anything half an artistica).
Don't you see be's • wooden cuckoo-clock, with only
one song to sing on every occasion? And be hoe been
woand up too tight,' she archly added. 'The wheel.
!sunk in bis bead lain • hum'

_
'But dis winos pie, madeentoiaslles, about which
you make an much talk' Mince pie—what is dat ?'
the fair Patitow, greatly puzzled, inquired.
' Don't you know, "little Laura acclaimed in
astonishment. 'Why mince pie is apple., and beef,
and curranta (what you cull "raisin. de Corinthe"),
and suet, and salt, and sugar, and al.nonds, and—
. . . . .

Dat most be verve nestes intrupted the
Polito's, with a viable shudder running through her
pretty frame.
' Don't forget the brandy, dear,' Norah gravely
added; 'nor yet the Nialage raisins, nor the candied
citron, nor the grated nutmeg—'
' Rot all dat mixture shell be ver.ree pashas
indeed,' pertinaciously objected Mademoiselle.
'Oh no, it hut,' Goody explained. 'On the
contrary, it's very nice ; especially if you make it
before Stir-up-Sunday,' and stir it up well every
Sunday afierwards.'
' Aunt Mary, however,' Lora said, ' uses tongue
instead of beef ; and she also puts in ground ginger,
and cloves, and braised oorriabder seed.'
' And grandma flavrurs with pineapple rum,
Madeira wine, and orangeflower water,' chimed Miss
Stephens, forgetting her griefs in the increasing
interest of the minocepie formula.
'As if her grandmother could possible be alive,'
Miss Touchwood slyly whispered to Goody, 'unless
she has survived to be a hundred and fifty I Ask
her what her great.greatirandma flavours with.'
' Miss Pinalow's mime pies for the charity child-
ren,' said Norah in • subdued tone of votes, as if
commmunimting some important secret, ' have
carrots, and lemon.juice, and common grocers' plums,
and orange peel, and albspios, and beef dripping,
and breed crumbs, and treacle, and chopped liver,
and ginger wine for economy's "she, instead of the
more expensive articles; and really the children
enjoy them much.'
Poor thing, ! Ignorance is bliss,' the lively Emma
ejaculated. ' Rut you have forgotten the essential
and indispensable crust, which ia to hold the various
ingredients together. Norab, with her usual clever-
ness, wouldest about making pies without pie-crust;
but their are things which cannot be dispensed
with :