The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1870-06-18 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.
A clerygyrnan in New York offers up prayers for
the Legislature or that State, which he says is " disposed to
repeal even the Ten Commandments."

The select men of Connecticut town advertise a re.
ward of twenty.live dollars for the return of a stolen hone,
"with the body of the thief inside.

Since the death of Noah Wehiter one thoneancl elang
words have become a part of the language el America. A
sad result of his demise.

A young speculator, having married a very homely
girl, the possessor of • large fortune, declared that It wasn't
the face of hie wife that struck him so much as her figure.
A Missouri town is raising money to buy a tomb-
stone for • man hanged for horse.stealing, who has been
found innocent.

In Wyoming there in said to be grave discussion as
to a bellies their female f edge shall be called J eaticess of
the Peace" or " Justice of the Peaces, "

A sporting young lady says:—" If the course of true
love doe. never run smooth, why don't they water It, and
roll et regularly so many hour. • day, until they get the
course so smooth that any donkey can run upon It I"

Kit Burn% the present fam'eng man oi Water•street,
New York, is said to have a yoke •' like the Ming of a 118 W,
and when he laughs It resembles the agony of • door-hinge in
want of oil."

A man having been brought before a Dutch justice of
the peace in Albany county, on a charge of having four wives,
the astonished magistrate exclaimed, " You let dat man go.
If he life oft four wives he has punishment enough. I lila
mit only von, and data more'n I can shtand !"

A young man, who had been narrating some of his
own wonderful exploits to a crowd of loungers one day. was
thus rebuked by an old eoggeramong the listeners Young
man, slut you aahamed to talk so when there are older liars
on the ground?"

There was a carious fatality in the reports of the
ball,on accident at Rock Island. According to the Sew
York Democrat, Mr. Haven, when he fell, went through
the roof of the summer-house, injuring him internally ; and
according to the Evening Poet, the unfortunate man came
down like Darius Green, " passing through and injuring a
summer-house and himself."

Among the curiosities found on the tombstones of
New England, are the following to be seen at Burlington,
Massachusetts .

" Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder;
She buret whilst drinking a senility powder.
Called from this world to her heavenly rest;
She should have waited till it effervesced."

An American gentleman, getting bald, tried to find
some genuine bear's grease. Ile failed, and directed a bear
beast to be hunted and shot for his use, regardless of expense.
It was in vain to remonstrate that the bears were shedding
their coat and out at condition. The gentleman believed
this to he a swindle; so a bear was shot, and he used the
little grease that was in him. In a week the gentleman was
a, bald as a gun-barrel the varmint was shedding himself,
and had nothing in him but hair.shedding

The following reply has been obligingly given by an
editor of much experience to the question how to write a
love-letter :—"There Is no stated rule for writing love-
letters. You should write on foolscap paper, and bear on as
soft as you can, using words of such burning love that they
will yule on the point of the pen. It I. also advisable to
sling in a hunk of pathos occasionally, such as, "Dearest
Augustus, I love you with a love larger than an elephant's; I
think of you every day, and by-and-by, when the days grow
longer, I shall think of you twice a-day.' Ills also well to
put an i k blot In the corner, with the observation, 'fins-Hug,
I kissed this spot;' or. 'I hove a sigh in this vicinity.' "