The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1865-10-10 00:00:00

Corresponbentt.

THREE GREAT JUGGLERS IN THE
CABINET UNMASKED.
_

The other day when our French guest, hear-
ing we had only one elector out of 20 English
monk, said our shilling then was as good as a
sovereign. Perhaps he meant that these few
electors did actually rule England; or, may be
that our Representative Government was bank-
rupt, and gave only one Shilling in the pound.
Brown says our handful of unprotected electors
does not rule England any more than Themis-
tools's' nursemaid did formerly rule Greece. As
that great warrior used to say, "I rule Greeoe,
but my wife rules me, but she is ruled by my
boy, who is ruled by his nurse; so it is my boy's
nurse that rules Greece." Well, we know that
this is rather ldtehen's staff, and that many an
English cook rules grease.
Was I not right when I said we are very de-
ficient in gumption, mensuration and arithmetic,
in spite of our physical advantages over our
neighbours? Far from being logical, we are
rather zoological in many respects, and not very
different from our ancestors in the middle ages.
For instance, within one county we may tread
on two or three other counties. Dorset has some
patches that belong to Devon, some to Somerset,
and even some to Wilts or Hants, and so on to
John o' Groat's house, for most other counties.
These things, with the 16 different bushels, seem
to have been devised to attach the ancient villains
to the glebe of their parishes, but are • disgrace
and an impediment in our days of railroads and
electricity.
I By the last return of the Income Tax, as clear
' as mud, it appears that there were only 153,120
parties from £lOO to £2OO a-yes?, and only 41,592
parties from £2OO to £3OO. Fancy not quite
200,000 families just above want. But it is for
this paltry result that a sort of inquisition and
confession has been enforced in free England
for squeezing labour to its very core.
And what a wastefulness in most our houses!
The remnants of our meat would feed many poor
people in such times as these, when provisions
are getting so dear. Now, saving becomes a
bounden duty, and ought to be enjoined from
every pulpit and platform. With the bones and
gristle we can make excellent broth and soups, and
with the fat dress vegetables so as to treble their
nutriment. I knew a strong navvy who married
a fine Dorset girl, and, of course, they multiplied
very fast, though the pay did not; but the wife
had a neck of frying potatoes, cabbage, turnips,
and what not, with more fat than butter, so
that a few mutton ohops or rashers of bacon
made the whole family thrive upon a few shill-
ings. Thus they saved their bacon. Our waste-
fulness reminds me of Bean Brummers improvi-
dence. Instead of paying his washerwoman, he
said to her, "1 only want a few articles every
week. Let your husband and brothers wear all
the rest of my linen." The washerwoman liked
the bargain, but poor Bean Brummel at last was
found starving in a ditch near Calais, and relieved
with the brown bread of a_Freneb soldier!

Here is a good idea of Brown—he intends
forming free classes at his Mechanics' Institution
in History, Arithmetic, and Geography. He will
show that England requires Reform more than
ever. For she is now Sire times more populous
than she was at the time of our glorious revolu-
tion of 'BB, and that her population is doubled
since 1830. Therefore what was good for the
young gander cannot pOssible now suffice for the
overfrown goose. Brown will show that the
Parliament was triennial for several years under
Queen Anne; but under her successor, George
the first, who could not speak English, the
Palmerston of those timee, Sir Robert Walpole,
easily persuaded the Parliament to prolong the
House of Commons to seven years, as three
years' purchase was too expensive, and not enough
remunerative in patronage, places and pelf
Thus, you see the covenant plighted after the
!firkins revolution became MOW under a
Geraian dynasty, and the Parliament has ever
wince been septennial. It was that Robert Wal-
pole (who partook of the nature of Robert le
Diable, and of Robert Macaire) first said that
.every man had his price, and that every elector
could sell his vote if he chose. Open voting,
therefore, bee ever since been considered ex-
ceedingly bandy for rulers.
Then Brown will show by the map of the
world, that Russia and North America can at
any time and opportunity invade the British
possessions scattered everywhere far from the
metropolis.
Likewise Brown will show the simplest
-way of arriving at uniformity of weights and
measures. For there is just a congress to meet
t Trance,
about • uniform copper coinage for
Italy, Belgium and Switzerland. This
is the ;mall end of the wedge.
r since Walpole, there have been bold
mi in the Cabinet, like the Brothers Daven-
They all hate the Ballot, which alone can
them. I recollect seeing a good caries, '
' the artful Ring Louis Philippe directing
lehind a screen his premier niers, (as
ewer as either Walpole or Palmerston,) to
perform illusions before the French people.
‘l3lentlamen," said he, "here arethree cups (repro-
Melting the three powers) imported from Ragland,
and a WI representing liberty; one, two, three,
I nem reuses, and oounterpess. Presto 110 and
one cop, and the Ball has
- totem's.

Ever

sa—y7B;it7ons ne-ver-s1;1111:4 slaves." I wish be
had added—and never flogged nor caned! Last
week there was a new infliction of wheal and
woe on a boy's bark, whose DAM is Lambert,
or Lamb hart, at a school named Whitgift or
Whip gift, making two victims, as the School-
master was fined. But it is the system that
must be abolished. lefmd, I don't object to •
box on the ear, or • out or two on the hand for ,
very bad behaviour, as I serve my own children,
lr.t I as. decidedly both evens and adverse to
awn panishraset and bask-hiding. No eat but
qfor garrotters, cagght to be the charter of our
• t