The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1878-10-08 00:00:00

Cuttings from thr Condo.

DILZAWS.

I • The hero dreamed three times that he saw • tremens
in an old tree. He was • town traveller, and lodged
with a well-to-do old gentleman (suppose we call him
Smith), who regarded bio as above suspicion. He
finally, after dreamin.f the same thing thrice, pre-
vailed upon Smith to &company him to the tree.
The town traveller pointed out & large oak tree as the
one he saw in his vision. It was apparently sound at
the trunk, but about twenty feet up • limb had been
broken off. Mr. Smith did not altogether like
humoring what he supp aid to be a superstitious
whim, but the town traveller seemed to have so much
coofidence in his vision that he offered Mr. Smith
one half of the spoils if be would help him to cut down
the tree. He did so. When the tree fell there was •
rattle of coins near where the limb had been broken
off, and • small hollow was found there. By a little
chopping a large cavity was discovered, and ensconsed
therein were "loads of silver." Both seemed to be
wild with delight, and on counting up found the heap
worth about £lBO. The town travellir expressed his
unwillingness to carry off so much silver in his pocket,
and inquired where be would be likely to get gold or
notes for his share. Mr. risnith, having considerable
money in his house, immediately transferred to the
town traveller 1:90 in paper money, and took damp ,
of the entire bulk of silver. Wonderful dream I But
Mr. Smith narrowly esimPod_ persecution for being
found in possession of counterfeit win.
TRAVELLER TOO BONA TM& —DINE, Pedestrian: "I
should like • glans of beer, Misils, please— " Land-
lady: "Has ye been travellin' by rell ? Pedestrian:
" No, I've been walking—four milts." Landlady:
"Na, us, nee drink will ony yin get hers, wha's been
pleasuriseeekin' o' the Sawbeth Day I I"
UNIETICTIM GRATUITT.—Waktor : "4
sir, hut I think you've made • mistakeli.lCdin
halfpenny r Old Gent (grandly.) "Oh deer no—not
at all. not at all I I never ce lass I"
CHELP.—Profeemor Tait • contemporary been,
engaged in developing for og-signalling purposes a
form of apparatus producing intense sounds with great
eminAiny of driving power. His mechanism is devised
to uce an effect analogous to that of • drum,
which is one of the most economic of noise-producing
Instruments. But has Professor Tait thought of a
Iligleiland piper or • six-months-old baby? As far as
d the object is to make it o as fax as
Poerlb=r of there is exceedingly sflcacloua, and
ought to do well as a fog-signal.
Tun MORM. Leetion.—" And lastly, but not
'easily," wroth the good mother, as she came towards
the end of the protracted homily she had been deliver-
ing to her first-born; "remember this great axiom,
my son, 'Never put off till to-morrow what you can
do to-day.'" " Yea, Ma, dear," replied the dutiful
eon; "then let's finish up the plum-pudding to-night."
Bountiful° IN THAT.—Poor little Tom Harftppe
esys he always gives Mrs. If. her own way, because it
Is the only thing he has to give bar.

THE WALKING TOUR.
A 8U1L544402 OPIRITTA IN TEM smarm

_
Character,: Trotter (a pedestrian) ; Chawles (his
friend).—Rally Porters, Simple Villagers, Country
Bumpkins, Captious Cabdrivers, Wily Innkeeper, dm
—Scene Id —A Railway Station. Railway Porters
and Captious Cabdrivers &wavered. Enter a trait,
exit (from train) Trotter and Chawleg, attired as
walking tourists with knapsacks and big hoots wen-
Oete.—Chawies : Well, here we are at last! Come,
'l'rotter, say I—l think we'd better get tioci our way ;
there's lots of time ere suneet.—Trotter : Yee, hooray 1
We'll cover twenty miles this very day,
to-morrow--starting, take it easy—
And ev'ry other, if it please ye;
And then, when the week's holiday is o'er,
We shall have tramped two hundred miles and MOM
(Captious Cabdrivers make gestures of derision.)—
Duet : Trotter and Chawlig :
Off, off! Let us start.
For us no lumbering cart,
No coach or shay.
Away! Away ! I
Hume ! 1!
(Exeunt at five miles an hour).—Cherni of Captious
Cabdrivers and Railway Porters :
Look at them! Away they gook
A turning out their precious toes.
They calls it pleasure, we'll be bound;
But where, oh, where's the pleasure found?
(Exeunt mockingly.)
Scene 2nd.—The fifth milestone. Enter Trotter
and Chewing' dejectedly at three miles an hour.—
Trotter: What! Only five rm sure that can't be
right—Chawles : Confound these horrid boot*, they're
beastly tight. —Trotter : I say, my friend, I think it
would be best to light a pipe and have a little rest.—
Chawles : We will, we will! I wish we bad some
beer.—Trotter Alas! alas I there is no public near;
the inn where we're to stay is miles from here. But
see, some natives come I Chewles, let's inquire if
they'll our knapsacks bear for us for hire.—(Enter
simple villagers and country bumpkins.)—Ballad and
chorus.—Trotter (entreatingly)—
Stay, simple villager, and say,
As you are going our way,
If you these burthens light will bear
With gentle hand and melons care.
Chorus of S. V.'s and C. 11.',: New, caw, naw, naw.
—Chawles (beseechingly) : Oh, country bumpkin, what
duet salt
We will your kindnemi well repay
With ale and brandy, porter, gin,
With lowly copper, lordly tin.
Only but help us to our inn.
Chorus (as before) New, new, naw, new,
. . . .

Haw, haw, haw, haw!
(Exeunt chorus deriding, followed by Trotter and
Chawlse limping at two MOM an hour.)—Sosna
An inn parlour. Trotter and Chawlas discovered in
slippers, dreamed, fatigued, and ill-tempered. —Trotter:
"Ewes you that first proposed this horrid walk.—
Chawles : Nonsense I 'Twas you.—Trotter: Oh,
rubbish, man I Don't talk. I've got two blisters, one
on either heel.—Chawke : I wish you knew how dead
knocked-up I feel.—Trotter: All your own fault.
Cl/AMIN : It isn't.—Trotter Come, that's clever I
Chawles : It isn't true.—Trotter : Then, Chawles, we
part for ever I—Chawlas ; 'Tis better so. "rig time
that we should sever the old connection, Trotter.
Yea, we part.—Trotter: I wished ni nest been fool
enough to start.—Chawles : That I e'er came is bitter
self-reproach.— (Enter Wily Innkeeper.)—Wily I: Are
you two gents • going by the coach ?—Trotter and
Mbytes (excitedly.) The what, the which, the why,
the where, the who I—Your tidings overwhelm um,
that they do I—Trio and Finals —Trotter and
Chawles: Joy I joy! Our task Is o'er.--The oosch
will soon be at the door.-oh, gleeful new.! Oh,
tidings glad I —Wily I: I fear the gents is mad, mad,
mad I—Trotter No more will I be cross or med.—
Wily I: Mad, mad I—Chawles : No more the festive
hoof 111 pad.—Willl:roMaerd, mad —Trotter:l Glad,
glad I—Wily I: iI mad I—Chawles : So glad !
Wily I: So mad I u and Chawles fall on the
neck of the Wily Innkmarn.nd weep tears of thank-
fulness.) Tableau and