The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1876-01-15 00:00:00

AMERICAN HUMOUR.

A man has started apaper in the State of Maine, to
be issued " occasionally ;, ' which is a great deal oftener,
the editor says, than he shall be able to get his pay for it.

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A New York girl thinks t about time some young
fellow proposed, as she has been bridesmaid eight times, and
has been tantalized enough.

A Yankee editor cheerfully remarks :—" The frisky
flea, the gramnivorous grasshopper, the musical mosquito,
and the fugacious fly, are leaving for their winter haunt."
A Canadian Volunteer has been fined twenty dollars
for wearing his military trousers when off duty. He said he
had no others, and the price of a better pair was five dollars.
The two arguments availed nothing.

A woman in New York lately attempted to hang
herself, but several neighbours rushed in and cut her down
before any harm was done; whereupon the disgusted bus..
band declared that "some folks had better stay at home, and
not mealle with other folks' affairs."

At a woman's convention a gentleman remarked
that a woman was the most wicked thing in creation. "Sir," was
the indignant reply of one of the ladies, "woman was made
from man, and if one rib is so wicked, what must the whole
body be? "

A paper in Southern Illinois regrets that it went to
press 'one day too early to record the death of John Bates."
This is not quite as cool as the paper which said, "Just as
we are going to press, John Smith is being run over by the
cars."

An Indianapolis genius has coined the verb "to
hence," and the noun "betweenity." Ile would not be
forced to hence far from his present position to be a be-
tweenity himself, his immediate neighbours being a fool and
an idiot.

The following letter of a St. Louis girl to her be-
trothed tells its own sad story :—" Dear Jack—Our engage-
ment is off. I hear that your father's brother raarrled a
woman whose uncle belongs to the Teetotal Bang. It's too
awful for anything. I return a box of bon-bons. I have
eaten the bon-bons in memory of you.—Yours truly, POIII,IA
SHERI-DAN."

At &It Lake the other day a young lady from the
interior entered a store, and called for a pair of stockings.
The clerk politely asked her what number she wore: "Why,
two : do you suppose I am a centipede gal ?"
A Cineinatti editor remarks :—" If in our school-
days the rule of three is proverbially trying, how much
harder in after life do we find the rule of ono. Re had only
been married fourteen mouths.

The chairman of a vigilance committee, which had
been appointed to duck an obnoxious citlzen, in lowa, thus
reported to his fellow citizens:—" We took the thief down to
the river, made a hole in the ice, and proceeded to duck
him; but he slipped through our hands, and laid under the
Ice; and, as he has been there over eight hours, it is sup-
posed he is drowned."
A witness being called upon to give evidence in a
court of Connecticut, respecting the loss of a shirt, gave the
following:—" Mother said that Ruth said that Nell said that
Poll told her that she see a man that see a boy that run
through the street with a shirt all checked, check, d, checked;
and our gals won't tell stories, for motner has whipped them
a thousand times for telling stories."