The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-11-15 00:00:00

Misallantous

ROME, FOREIGN, AND COLONIAL,

CHLTRORTABDI3.--Tbree of the Bishops have dis-
tinctly advimed- their clergy not to enlarge their
churchyards. The Bishop of Lincoln, who says that
400 churchyards in his diocese ought to be closed,
advises this course; the Bishop of Peterborough
"trusts that churchwardens and clergy, instead of
providing additional burial ground—an additional
loophole ready for their enemies—would take advan-
tage of the new Act ; " the Bishop of Ely says, "I
Most earnestly pray both clergy and churchwardens
to lay aside all idea for the time to come of enlarging
their churchyards."—The Times.
' REVISION OF THE AUTHORIZED VERSION. The
Revisers of the authorized version of the New Testa-
ment met on Tuesday in the Jerusalem Chamber for
their 93rd session, and sat for seven hours. There
were present the Bishop of Gloucester and Bristol
.(wl‘o presided), the Deana of Westminster, Lir.coln,
and Lichfield, the Master of the Temple, Archdeacons
Lee and Palmer, Canon Westcott. Principal Newth,
Professors Hort and Moulton, and Prebendaries Hum-
phry and Scrivener—in all 13 members, with Mr.
Troutbeck, the secretary. The company were engaged
on suggestions on the second revision of the Epistle to
the Hebrews.

WASTE PRODUCTS.—The value of a cab horse in
Paris which, from accident or age, is no longer useful
for harness purposes is estimated at 68f., apportioned
as follows 13f. 60c. ; hair, if. ; blood, 6f. 30c.;
nails, 12c.; shoes, if. 80c, ; viscera, If. 60c. ; tendons,
30c.; intestines, if. ; grease, 4f. 98. ; bones, 21. 30c.;
flesh, 35f. The ultimate destination of the skin is the
tan•pit, the tendons are used for glue, the feet for oil,
:the bones for animal black, the blood for Prussian
'blue, while the horseflesh finds its place as a piece de
resistance in the cheap restaurants.

" SOCIETY SMALL TALIi "-" On the young lady's
:exclaiming, 'How well these rooms are lighted ! ' the
young man might reply, 'Yes, by the light of Beauty's
eyes, and yoti are lending your share, which is not a
small one, to the general illumination, the brilliancy
of which is almost too dazzling to a poor mortal like
myself, to whom it is well that moments such as these
'are brief, else the reaction would be destructive to my
peace of mind, if not altogether fatal to it. "—(Young
Peter Piper has got his lesson well by heart, and is
only waiting to begin, for the lovely Miss Rippington
•to exclaim, "How well these rooms are lighted!"
which, unfortunately for him, they are not:—Punch.

ANOTHER PENINSULAR VETERAN GONE !—Another
of the very few remaining Peninsular veterans has
passed away (says The Times, in its Obituary of the
, Bth inst.). Lieutenant-General William Crokat was
born Lear Edinburgh in the year 17,8, and obtained
his first commission early in 1807, in the 20th Regiment
of Foot. Having sailed with his regiment in July,
1808, he landed in Portugal, and took part in the
battle of Vimiera, the advance into Spain, the disas-
trous retreat on Corunna, and the battle before that
town on January 16, 1809. In the summer of the same
year he was present in the ill-starred expedition to
Walcheren, and was for a time disabled by fever. He
was not s gain called into action till October, 1812, when
his regiment was embarked at Cork, and after a 15
das s'voyage arrived at Corunna. He was present during
the campaign of 181213, and at the crowning battle
of Vittoria, on the 21st of June, 1813, and was very
severely wounded during the desperate fighting that
ensued in the passes of the Pyrenees during the last
days of August. Subsequent to the peace the 20th
was ordered to St. Helena, where Captain Crokat
witnessed the death of Napoleon on the sth of May,
1821, being the original of the "Officer on Guard" in
Stenben's well-known engraving. Bringing home the
despatches announcing the Emperor's death, he there-
upon obtained his majority, and subsequently passed
several years in India, where his constitution was
, farther impaired by the climate, and about 1830 he
, retired on half-pay. After several years passed in
Italy, Colonel Crokat returned to Scotland, where he
has spent the last 35 years in shattered health and
unobtrusive retirement, dying in Edinburgh on the
6th inst.
ONE ABIDING CAUSE OF COMMERCIAL DEPRESSION.
—The flatness of the Board of Trade.—Fun.
WORSTED FACTORlES.—According to the recent
official statistical returns of the worsted industries of
the United Kingdom, it seems that in England and
Wales there are 214 worsted spinning factories, em-
ploying. 35,836 hands; worsted weaving factories,
257, employing 27,073 people; spinning and weaving
factories, 126, employing 52,810 hands;
enumerated, 39, with 2,147 emplo)es, Total factories,
636; employs, 117.866. In Scotland the number of
factories is 55, and the number of hands employed
13,012. In Ireland, 2 factories, and only 47 hands
employed. Grand total, 693 factories, and 130,925
persons employed.—Wool Trade Review.
A HEALTH TO FAST LWERS.—Our Absinthe Friends.
—Punch.
CHEESE MAKING IN AMERICA.—The Mark Lane
Express ear :—" A short time ago, when American
cheese was selling at extremely low prices, there was
, a great outcry about the helplessness of English
makers attempting to compete with it, and some people
said that nothing but a duty on foreign cheese
could save the home industry. But sensible people
saw that the prices realised could not possibly pay
the American dairy farmere. According to the
report of the New York State Dairymen's Conven-
tion, there is no proat in making cheese at preeeat
prices. The estimated cost of keeping a cow for a year
ranges from 15 dolts. to 35 dole,' and of labour about
7 dole, per head, and the cost of manufacturing cheese
125 dole, to 2 dole, per 100 pounds. The total ex-
pense per cow is about 40 dole., leaving not far from
7 dole, per head on an average as profit, out of which
must be taken the cost of carrying milk to the cheese
factory. The conclusion reached by members of the
Convention was that not one dairy in twenty had
during the past year paid expenses. The remedy pro-
, posed was to make more butter and less cheese, or re-
, duce the number of cows kept."
I TANTALUS.—Irish Waiter (to Commercial Gent, who
had done a good of business already). " Brikfast.
Yessir. What'll ye have, yer honour—tay or coffee?"
—Commercial Gent (hungry and jubilant). "Coffee,
and fried sole and mutton cutlet to follow ! "—Waiter
(satiricalla ). " Annythin.g use, sun !"—Commercial
Gent, "Yes, stewed kidneys. Ah ! and a savoury
omelette! " Waiter. " Yessin Aneything—"—
Commercial Gent, "No, that will do—"—Waiter
(with calm contempt). "And do ye expict to foind
the likes o' them things here? Sure, ye'll get what
yez always got—bacon and iggs ! "—Punch.
MATTER OF FACT.—It is a fact not PO generally
known as it ought to be that, although England has
produced a large number of poets, Ireland has pro-
duced MOORE.—Judy.
IS TRADE REVIVING ?—Perhaps the best answer to
this question, so far as the "hard goods" of England
are concerned, is found in a comparison of the exports
to America dtuing September of the last two years
(says the Engineer). America, it has been frequently
said, is the key-stone of England's business. The
remark was made before the country had the good
, sense and commercial enterprise to look for other
markets; but it still holds good to n very material
degree. If business in the States is languid, the trade
,in Britain is far from brisk. Now that things are
looking up across the water' there is a more healthy
"all round " feeling here. American writers affect to
regard .recent statements in regard to the export of
iran to their markets as exaggerated, but the Board of
Telt& returns are conclusive on that point, as well as
in regard to finished goods. in September, 1878, the
total weight of pig iron, bars, rails—iron and steel—
hoops, sheets, plates, tinned plates, cast iron, old iron,
and steel, amounted to 11,526 tens: in the correspoud-
ing month of 1879 the weight was 86,587! This is an
enormous increase, and, wilat is equally important, it
continues, and exists along with decided signs of ha.
proveigent in other quarters. Descending to details, it
is Olin .that the% roost perceptible increase is in pig
iron', old iron, and‘rails. Pik iron has increased from
14500 to $2,000 tons; rags from 34 to 8,431 tons, and old
'iron
from 289 to-26,540 totis. Evemitem, however, is
improved, so that trade may be definitely declared, to
haveraimi in 4 veay uuateirsl degree.
,

Po u THE WAR Orriou.—Aceording to the Articles
of War it is death to stop a cannon ball. This seems
to be a matter that wants looking into.—Judy.
NEWSPAPERS FOR OUR SOLDIERS IN AFGHANISTAN.
' —Captain James Gildea writes from 20, Stafford
-
terrace, Argyll-road, Kensington, to The Times :—"I
have much pleasure in announcing that the Peninsular
and Oriental Steamship Company have liberally
offered to send free to Bombay any parcels of news-
papers, magazines, or periodicals which may 'be con-
tributed for the use of our soldiers in Afghanistan, and
I have little doubt that the Indian Government will
undertake the transfer and forwarding the same to
their destination. As such, however, cannot be re-
ceived by the company in small parcels, and as they
must first be assorted and packed for the several divi-
sions of the army, I have undertaken to receive and
do all that is necessary in this way. There will of
necessity be some small expenses for packages and de-
livery to the company here and any help kindly sent
to defray these I shall be glad to receive, acknowledge,
and account for in due course. All parcels should be
delivered free at my address, and I will only add that
' illustrated ' papers are what are most appreciated,
especially among the sick."
THE SURNAME OF THE ROYAL FAMILY,—The
Whitehall Review says:—" At dinner, the other night,
the conversation lapsed, as it sometimes will lapse
with the best of hosts, into questions hardly dis-
tinguishable from conundrums. A celebrated his-
torian was present, and I put a question to him which
I know has puzzled a great many people at different
timer—' What is the surname of the Royal Family?'
Guelph, of course.' That is the usual answer,
and it was the historian's. I ventured to sug-
gest that, although the Royal Family are
Guelphs by descent, Her Majesty's marriage with
Prince Albert of Saxe-Cobourg must have the effect
which the marriage of a lady has in all other cases,
and that the surname of the present house must be the
Prince Consort's, But what is the surname of the
Prince Consort's family?' Simple, but staggering.
No one knew. All guessed, and all were wrong. I
happened to have looked up the subject a few months
ago, so I knew that the name was Wettin.' Of
course no one had heard it before. Everyone smiled
at the horrible idea ot the Guelphs being reduced to
Wettins ! The point was referred to Theodore Martin.
You are quite right, said the graceful biographer of
the Prince Consort. Wettin is the family name of
the House of Saxony, to whom the dominion of
Saxony came in the year 1420. The King of Saxony
and the minor Princes of the House are therefore all
Wettins ; or, in German, Wettiner."

ON HORSES LYING DOWN.—I do not know why a
horse should not be as much rested and benefited by
lyina• down as any other four-footed beast (says the
Southern Planter). A horse often sleeps standing up,
and so does an ox. I know that it was claimed for a
grey horse once, as a special merit, that it would not
lie down unless its stall was well littered; consequently
all expense of bedding might be saved, as no doubt it
had been. Horses are peculiar about lying down. It
seems as if they knew their helplessness when in
this position, and were bound never to expose them.
selves to danger. Although many may be lying down,
every horse in a stable is on his feet at the slightest
noise. It is, besides, almost universally regarded and
universally true, as a sign of ill.health, if a• horse is
found lying down in the daytime. I have recently
cone to the conclusion, however, that if horses are
perfectly easy in their minds, they will take as much
comfort in lying down as cattle do, and I can point
to one stable, not my own, where spirited, well•fed
horses may be seen lying down at almost any hour
of the day or night, and it comes from the perfect
confidence they have in their groom.

AVERAGE PRICES OF BRITISH CORN.—The following
are the average prices of British corn for the week
ending Nov. 8, as received from the inspectors and
officers of Excise :—Wheat, 50s. 5d.; barley, 40s. Bd.;
oats, 21s. 6d. per imperial qr. Corresponding week
last year :—Wheat, 395, Bd.; barley, 395. 7d.; oats,
225. sd.
THE WESLEYAN THANKSGIVING FUND. —D uring
the past week the treasurers of this fund were able to
make a seventh payment of £8,300 to the treasurers
of the several connexional funds named below. The
amounts paid to such funds, so far, reach an aggre-
gate of £58,100, distributed as follows ;—Foreign
Missionary Society, £11,900 ; Home Missionary
Society, £5,250; Education Fund, £9,800; Schools
Fund, £8,400; Sunday School Union, £2,100; The
Children's Home, £3,150; Birmingham Theological
Institution, £17,500. It is expected that another,
the eighth, payment will be made this year. The
total amount promised reached £190,567.
IMITATING BUCKSTONE.—In days of yore, when
lively young men used to imitate poor Buckstone—or
try to do so according to their ability—the famous
comedian went home from the theatre after
the performance on a certain occasion, when his street
door had been painted a brilliant colour and grained to
represent what oak would have been if the enthu-
siastic painter had been called upou to make designs
for the trees of the forest The paint was not dry, and
to Mr. Buckstone's horror, he found reclining against
the door a slumbering gentleman, not nearly so sober
as a gentleman ought to be. Buckstone shook him
violently, and observing the impression of elbows and
shoulders on the paint, let out at the intruder, "How
dare you, sir, go to sleep in my doorway, sir? Get up
directly and go home. You ought to be ashamed of
yourself! Look what you've done, Do you suppose
I have my door painted for drunken rascals like you
to lean against. Get out of my doorway directly, or
else I'll call a policeman !" The man staggered to his
feet, gazed at the irate comedian without recognising
him' and observed contemptuously, " Well ! I call
that an uncommon bad imitation. "faint a bit like!"
and he lurched down the street, never suspecting that
it was not an imitation of Buckstone, but Buckstone
himself.—" Rapier," in the Illustrated Sporting and
Dramatic News.

SURPLICES NOT NEEDED.—TWinity•fOtlr SiINAS will
make a quire.—Fun.

Tux SUPPLY OF AMERICAN AND CANADIAN FOOD.—
During last week only one steamer—the Illyrian—
arrived at Liverpool from Canada or the United States
with live stock. She came from Boston, and brought
197 head of cattle. This number is exceedingly small,
though it is over a hundred in excess of the previous
week's figures. Not a single head of live sheep came
to hand, a circumstance that has not happened for
many months past. The six steamers which arrived
with fresh meat brought 4,188 quarters of beef, 900
carcases of mutton, and 100 sheep, which was not
quite up to the preceding week.

ANOTHER COFFEE TAVERN.—A new coffee-house was
opened by the Mayor of Birmingham, Mr. R. Chamber-
lain, on Tuesday. The house has been erected at the
expense of Miss Ryland, and the management has
been undertaken by the Birmingham Coffee-house
Company. Adjoining the coffee-house are seven
cottages intended for artisans' dwellings. These also
have been provided by Miss Ryland, and the total
cost of the buildings, exclusive of the site, is about
£3,000,
THE PROFESSOR AIM HIS DOUBLE.—The Daily
Telegraph narrates the following :—" Those curious
personal resemblances which are not uncommon have
given rise to the popular belief that every man has
his double somewhere in the world; and n- super-
stition exists in Germany to the effect that he whom
ill-luck shall bring into contact with his " Doppel-
gauger " will do well to prepare himself for death as
such a meeting portends a proximate passage over the
Stygian ferry to both parties concerned. It appears
that the double of an eminent Professor of Physiology
at the Berlin University is a hairdresser, whose shop is
situate in the immediate neighbourhood of that insti-
tution, and who, well aware of his likeness to the
learned Doctor, carefully copies the latter in dress,
bearing, and demeanour. A few days ago the Pro-
fessor was walking homewards from his lecture-room,
when a gentleman, entirely unknown to him, stopped
him in the street, saying, 'Follow me to my house. I
want you to cut my hair ! ' The amiable Professor,
one of whose principles of life it has always been never
to withhold from a fellow-creature any service that it
might be within his power to render, meekly accom-
panied the stranger home, and there addressed him-
self to the task thus imperatively prescribed to
him. Forlorn of professional scissors, he picked up a
pair of shears, used for cutting paper, from a writing-
table in the dressing-room to which he was conducted,
and, with this implement, proceeded most conscien-
tiously to cut his victim's hair down to the very roots.
When he had cleared about half the skull of its hirsute
covering, he accidently stuck the point of hit shears
into the scalp of his patient, who, springing to his
feet in great pain and wrath, exclaimed, 'Can't you
take care, what you are about? Do you call yourself
a haircutter?' 'A haircutter replied the astonished
sage. certainly not. lam only Professor B—, very
much at your service, as you perceiva

SPELLING REFORM —lt will be allowable in apos-
trophizing this year's yield of grain, for England at all
events to write "thou Soiree," in regretful allusion
to halt a loaf being better than no bread.—Judy.
DIMINISHED PRODUCTION.—At the request of the
Trades Union Congress Parliamentary Committee,
Mr. Frederic Harrison has written a note on the letter
recently published by Lord Justice Bramwell on the
question of "Diminished Production." His lordship
had argued strongly against a proposition that the
proper method of improving the position and wages of
workmen was to diminish production, but Mr. Harrison
urges that no such proposition has been laid down by
any responsible body of workmen. In the discussion
which had taken place on the subject, however, it had
been agreed, especially with reference to the cotton,
coal, and iron trades, that where production had been
vastly in excess of demand profits must continue to
decrease whilst they kept on increasing the excess.
The latter was a sound doctrine, and the only one
maintained by workmen.
THE BATTLE OF WATEELoo.—Brussels now possesses
a national diorama representing the battle of Waterloo
(says the Court Journ2l). The visitor, after ascending
a narrow staircase, finds himself on a circular platform
some five or sir yards in diameter, in presence of a
vivid picture of a scene which occurred sixty-four
years ago. Near him are some English sharpshooters
ambushed in the corn, firing at him with their
muskets. The front portion of the wheat is agitated
by the wind, which is bringing up some heavy black
clouds, casting a sinister semi-obacurity over this
part of the field. In the distance, through a curtain
of smoke, is seen the Prussian corps d'arfnee, com-
manded by Blucher, which is debouching from a
wood to decide the fate of the day in favour of the
allied armies, while Napoleon yonder, on the hill,
in the centre of his guard, thinks it is Grouchy
arriving to support him. At the visitor's feet are
cannon with broken carriages; wounded and dead at
the edge of a stagnant pool. On the road lie trees
broken by cannon balls, and some companies of the
Guard are seen marching forward on the Ohain road
and then the red lines of the English uniforms. In
tne fields several battalions are advancing towards the
English. Quite in the distance, against a sky reddened
by the Betting sun, a group of horsemen can be dis-
tinguished—they are Wellington and his staff. Every-
where smoking cannon; the wounded, g roaning and
dragging themzelves across the dead in order to
escape, if possible, the fate of their unhappy com-
rades— dead for want of timely attendance. The work
has been executed by M. Castellani. who is a Belgian,
although his name is Italian, He was under fire
eleven times during the Franca. German war, and is
therefore well qualified to repreeent the epieo'!es of a
battle, since he has seen them and participated in
them.

INNOCENT AMUSEMENTS.—VirhiIe several o' the
American journals are indulging in the hamaless re-
creation of attempting a spelling reform, others amuse
themselves with the discovery of odd words and ter-
aroen leads the
wvoaragn winiththtehEe
nstgaliste
men t;
m nat t itohnast.
and sevicion. Another writer adds the parlous word
language ending in 0i.0.n, namely, scion, coercion,
there
ostration. A third, after a long interv
ternecion,
in Turkish
LINL —A new departure
Concession
Al, trots out in.
OFF THE
Coercion.—Punch.
Some time since a
A LITTLE DISAPPOINTMENT .
L-
and nailed up
policy for Beaconsfield & Co.—from -to
number of Boston lawyers invested m
__
at their desks a sign reading that they w re very_ buoy
then, but would see the visitor later. One day s,
withered up old man entered an office, gazed sttiptdi7
around, and at last inquired, "Can I see the lawyer
for a few minutes" He had a book under his arm,
and that settled his case. His eyes were directed to
the sign, and, after reading it, he turned away, saying,
"Well, if you're very busy, I won't stop. It Was
a case where there was about £40,000 et stake,
and—." But he was out in the hall by- 'that.
time, and he didn't seem to hear the invitat a ta...
come back. The lawyer, vexed and annoyed, tote
-
down the sign at once,. 'and hoped the 'old. man 'initht
return. Sure enough, he entered the office next-daY,
and, not seeing the sign, he sat down and asked,
"Very busy this morning!" "Oh, no—plenty of
time," was the reply. " Sure, I won't annoy you?
"Oh, you can't annoy me at all. I shall listen to you
with the greatest of pleasure." "Well, then " said
the old man, as he slowly undid his book, "I'd 'like to •
call your attention to this 'Life of Napoleon." It is .
said that the engravings alone coat £40,000, We are .
selling this book at—." The lawyer grew .qutte
white around the mouth, and asked to be excused for
a moment. He put on his hat, and went down for a
ride on the omnibus, calculating to be gone just two
hours.

ON THE Luen.—What ig even better than presence
of mind in a railway accident ?—Why,to be absent
altogether.—Judy.
THE POPULATION OF HONOLULU.—The Cells=
taken last year shows that the population of Hono-
lulu up to the end of December was 57,985, being an
increase since 1872 of 1,088. The statistics show a
rather singular change in the balance of the popula-
tion by the introduction of Chinese Maur. The
number of Chinese at present in the population is
5,916, and their increase since 1872 was 3,978. The
total number of foreigners (833 were British) was
10,477, being an increase since 18_72 of 5,111, while the
natives and half-castes hai decreased to the amount
of 4,000. It is probable that by the end of the cur-
rent year the Chinese population 'will have loubled
its numbers.
A GREAT, ZOOZOO.—A few wealthy persons of New
York have quietly organized a conservatory and
zoological garden company, with a capital of 2,000,000
dollars, and have not only succeeded in raising already
two-thirds of the capital, but have secured thirty acres
of ground, at a cost of 400,000 dollars, for the pur-
pose, and have expended 10,000 dollars in surveys and
preliminary charges. The cost of this building is put
at 275,000 dollars. Within the garden, at the back of
the arcade, are to be the cages of the zoological de-
partments fronting a promenade twenty-five feet wide,
The garden is to have appropriate walks and fountains
a grand lake, with an island in the middle, on which
is to be built an edihee of two stories for concerts and
garden parties, and it is here also that summer-night
festivals are to be given.
Fon SHAME.—What is the difference between a
valse and a young widow ?—Why, one is a giddy
whirl and the other is a widdy girl.—Judy.

A RECREATION-GROUND FOR THE SERVICE,—The
Lords of the Admiralty have purchased at Sheerness
a meadow several acres in extent, and made a grant of
it to the naval authorities; for the purpose of its being
converted into a recreation-ground for all classes of
the service. Seamen have been set to work at once
to level the ground and returf a portion of it for
cricket next season; and it is also intended to erect a
canteen and tennis-court thereon, besides various
requisites for gymnastic exercises. The necesoary
funds for these purposes will be raised privately.
CHARCOAL BIIHNLbTG, EPPING FOREST.—SOMO tracte
of woodland in the Epping and Hainault Forest dis-
tricts of West Essex, not above fifteen rniles from the
heart of busy London, are devoted specially to the
growth of the hornbeam,, a tree which is scarcely
known in many other parts of England. Its Food is
the best material for charcoal, and the commercial
value of that substance makes it well worth cultiva-
tion. The process of burning, which is performed or 3
the spot, or near it, when the trees have been cut
down, is a peculiar branch of rubtic industry, and those
employed in this business, often dwelling through a
long summer-time in simple huts or booths, where
they lie in readiness to tend the fires beneath the
heaped masses of wood covered with pieces of turf,
have their characteristic features and ways. It is a
work requiring great experience, as wall as incessant
vigilance during many days and nights, before the
perfect charcoal can be extracted and deposited in the
bags, to be carried away and ground. The appear-
ance of a burning heap, with jets of flame and puffs of
smoke issuing from many crevices in its sides cannot
easily be forgotten by those who have seen it aides,
night.
—lllustrated London NOM.

NARROW ESCAPE OF A PACK OF HOUNDS,—Ort
Saturday the Atherstone hounds had a narrow escape
from destructiozrat the village of Grit!. • The meet
was at Arbury-hall, and shortly after midday a
signalman engaged at the Griff siding, on the Coventry
and Nuneaton Railway, saw a fox, closely pursued
by the hounds, coming towards the railway. Two
trains from opposite directions were signalled, and
the signalman had the presence of mind to stop the
trains and so saved the pack from being cut to pieces.
The fox escaped in a drain.

4' SHOUTHER TO SHOUTHER !"—Scens—A Working-
Party! Afghanistan. Road-making at six annas a
day.—Sergeant. " Hoo mony men hae she warking up
dare, corp'ral?"—Corporal. " -.A.boot a dozen; but
they're daein' naething "—Sergeant. "Aa right,
curp'ral Shwa bide, awee, and I'll send some malt.
up, to gie ye a haun' "—Punch.
A SINGULAR ACCIDENT.—An extraordinary acci-
dent occurred on Monday evening nn the ferry which
crosses the Tyne from South Shields to North Shields.
A labouring man named Henry Wilson, who was re-
timing to his home at the close of his day's work,
struck a match against his trousers, and in a moment
he was enveloped in flames. In little more than a
minute all the clothing he had upon him was. reduced
to ashes and he was dreadfully burnt. With the
assistance of the other passengers he was dressed and
taken to his lodgings, where he lies in a precarious
state. His clothes seem to have become saturated with
chemicals while following his employment.

" LivELY."—Visiting young lady (with severity).
Now, children, can any of you tell me the spiritual
meaning of the serpents biting the children of Israel!
What were the serpents? Small girl (eagerly).
Please, miss, p'r'aps they was fleas.—Judy.
THE FRENCH VINTAGE.—The ingathering of the
vintage in France may now be considered pretty well
complete throughout the whole country (says Land
and Water.) It is hardly possible at present to esti.
mate but approximately what the collective yield has
been, but in some places, such as the Bordelais and
Burgundy, it will be a third below that of last year.
In many parts the vintage was effected in the midst of
rains, storms, and even snow. From the south the
news is more assuring. Thus it seems established that
in the districts where the phylloxera has not exercised
its ravages the abundant yield in the plains has largely
compensated the deficit ou the slopes, and the supply
for 1879 will be very satisfactory as to quantity.
Hopes are entertained that in the zone of the H6ratilt
the quantity will reach about 10,000,000 of hectolitres
(22 gallons each.) In short, the news which reaches
Bercy as a whole is that the produce of France will be
very small at most parts and a good average year in
other countries.