The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1871-12-16 00:00:00

•CUTTINGS PROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

A billiard palace is the last bit of Iloi3ton gran-
deur.

New York belles are now said to select their dresses
to match the colours of their poodles.

A Wiscomin Justice of the Peace recently granted
himself a divorce.

A Wisconsin man reported that he couldn't find a
word In the dictionary, because 'the book hadn't an index."

A great man is always willing to be little.—Emerson.
But one never knows how little he is willing to be until one
has had business with Inm.

This is a heading of a paragragh in a Western
paper, recording a suicide : " Ile blew his head off.
Bilious, poor, and disheartened the gun-muzzle in his
mouth, his toe on the trigger, and up goes his hair."

. -
A insults B. B challenges him. A refuses to rnee
Bon the ground that he is no gentleman. B insists that he
is, and, in proof, produces the receipt for his newspaper, paid
sin months in advance.

Fishing at Ausaugnntansongamongotongo Lake, in
Oxford Comity, Maine is reported as first-rate. We recom-
mend those who desire to go there before starting to write
the name of the place oils cant

The Tennessee girl who broke her arm on the eve of
her wedding, and bravely went through the ceremony with
her arm in a sling, was surpassed by the yet bolder bride-
groom, who, according to the custom of the country, had
several slings (gin and rum slings) inside of him.
The following is the way they call out a figure of a
"reel" In Georgia Dance to the gal with the yellow
shawl on, now dott-n outside and up the middle, turn to your
partner, Isaac Smach, and now to that entire stranger;
sachet to the right and left; ra de tan; de dude ; now to
Peter Schwitelsal's slaughter ; turn to your partner every
one set to the gal with the hole in the heel of her stocking r'
"M 7 dear, will you play your thousand-dollar
polka? said an American fanner to his charming daughter,
nix months after her return from a fashionable boarding.
school. The young lady's musical performaaces had dwindled,
piece by piece, to & solitary polka, and the fond parent's
sole compensation for his many years' outlay was this pre-
cious " thousand-dollar " polka and his own sorry joke.

- -
A Chicago paper says :—" There have been 417
babies published hi this city &ince the lire-311 of them
female. lbw to the sew She-cargo."

A man from one of the rural districto recently went
to see the sights. A member of the House, whose constituent
he was, said, time up to-morrow, and I will give you a arat
on the floor of the House " 'No, you don't !" replied
Jonathan "I always manage to have a cheer to set mutat
home, and I bet I hain't coins to Wash'n'ton to sot on the
Poor Infuns may do that when they come, if they like, but
I, that am civilised, don't do it

It is reported at Salt Lake that a number of lead-
ing Mormons will send away their .• plural wives' should
the decisions in the forthcoming trials for immorality be
against the defendants. It is not believed that the Mormons
will abandon polygamy as a doctrine, hut many of them are
l•eginning to exprexs doubts of its expediency as a practice In
violation of the law.
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