The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1862-06-24 00:00:00

LAST WEEK'S PUNCH.

"INVISIBLE GREEN."-Thil green in Mr. Punch'. eye
A UuNSIDERABLE SAVING IN TIME. - Slanting
Clocks.

QUITE A NOVELTY IN POLITICAL ECONOMY. —Retrench.
went by the Tories.
Morro TOO THE INTERNATIONAL "PRESS TABLE."
—'' list your pudding, slave, and don't bold yutlr
tongue,"
PATRONS OF THE RlNG.—Ladies, circus-riders, publi-
CAIIM, clown:, noblemen, end prae-liAltters.

OUT-AND-011T PliotoUND. —lt is not from the pros-
perouh dwellers in fortune's suusliiiie that a wise tmin
seeks to le4rll true wisdom. When the philosopher w.min
to know tie teuiperAture he gmos to the thermometer en
the shade.

JONATHAN'S PROGRAMME, OR • BIT OF BRAG.—
" Tcl I yer what it If ou collie nuedulite with
any 0' your mediation same, soon as over I've whipped
the rebels—and walked into Cituada—and oliaw'd up
John Bull--darii'd a I don't put that Mar young man
(le Comte de Parts) in your locution !!!"—Pee New
York Papers.

A TkiiniaLE TElREA—Sinster Jack: "Now then,
Charlotte, are ou going to lend nit your Paint boa?'
Uioirlo‘te : "Nu ar. You know %hat a tuess yott
of it I.oit time !" Maattr Jack "Very wcll. Tueu I'll
put ny guiuea ijg on your nook !'' . .

.
RACING IN TILLLIGENCg.—A loser on the Derby, having
used explosive huguage in talking of but loss,
elideavoured 10 some wanner to justify his woids by
saying •• Well, alter all, you know, the winner it's
coiri.ct-to-cuss." The unhappy man is thought to
have meant this as a juke upon the word Caracmcus.
rriatOBUINAIL Y ISENLIroLIIICCE. Mr. lienjaillin
%Vomiter iW11061:1 Dome ix synuny noun with killailleee and
liberaLty) has contrived to get at ixids with the tre-
mendous Dion Boucicault, arid it appears from
tt Cbaiic ry Repons that Mr. Webster, so far
from resenting the hij,ratitude of his prohge, has
actually taken proceeding& to prevent the Grouper
becoming the Lessee of Drury Lane Theatre ! If that
is Out returning good for eel we ahould be glad to be
privately informed what constitutes that commendable
operation. _ _

VACANC/R8 WAXTEM—The Pope was sorely puszled
to know bow to craw hie new japatlese Salute tutu the
v.tlenclar, already most inconveniently ctovrded with
apocryphal sanctity. He Might luake a Milo room by
reeving out S. Narpoleoit, which would be a neat and
safe insult to L. Navuleou' - •-eturu for itir efforts to
shove out the Pope. Punch wonders tart the
ecelesiastical mid 1148 not theurkt of so delightful
a bit of spite. It is not too late—though it WWI way
be.

BREAKING THE BOLL—NV.)IIM 10 the Englitiltnan't
friend, the American's doll. Which destiny dO,,s the
prefer when she reads that the Federal., have issued
a proclamation to the ladies a New Okapi eating
that any lwhy " who itituifetts contempt" for a Federil
soidier shall bu treated—well, as we do Hot treat
the unfortunate are auras who infest the Haymarket at
midnight? Poor Dolly, she is luthlessly smai,bed the
moment she even winks iierition. But how do the blase
but susceptible Northern's treat min who oiliest
sarlilar contempt? Oenerat !links runs sway frOIH them
—gives them the cut divot. refhaptt this is almost as
safe a course at Genertl Butler',

" MAY THE EVEMING'S AMUSEMENT BEAR," &C.
The Pope I:sa been given a grand banquet to the
cardinals and all the bishops in Rome. Happy priesta!
Huw they meet, have enjoyed their mutton, as every
one of them could douLtlessly boast to himself as having
got the Pope's eye, Fancy the beveragee too I We
read that the Popo had no less thou 240 bishops to his
dinner that ilay We wonder how ever he managed to
get home to the Vat:tn.:an in safety di it night. We all
know that ViliS is a fantails good hand at making a
bishop, but we wish that he would hut inalte seine of
theui so !Annie. Your otabop has at all times doe
ineidtioue qu'ilities for stealing away a man's brains, but
that Dupanloup Bisimp is enonah to give the strongest
man the headacto for iieveral days to come. Not
only is there too much Clint, but it is of too fiery a

(lushly. We are curious to know if the Pope hits yet
recovered from having had 240 bishops all on the same
_
evening,

If he has h".,. hag a much I;trouger head than

wb ever gave him credit for,