The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-05-31 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

"What is love ! " inquires a poet whose verses
appear in the Philadelphia North American. The idea of a
poet not knowing what love is. Why don't he advertise for
Information?
-

A New York paper remarks that every man has
two roads to happiness open to him, one is matrimony—and
the other isn't.
- "

"Stranger," said he, " I want to sell yer a horse."
"Stranger," was the reply, " I don't want him. "Stranger,"
rejoined the wayfarer, "yer reely must buy him. Yer never
see a better horse for the price." "What is the price,
stranger?" asked the contemplative man "A hundred and
fifty dollars, and dirt cheap at that." The inquirer meditated
lor a few moments, and then blandly remarked, "Stranger,
I'll give yer fiv9." The equestrian dismounted, saying with
earnestness, "Stranger, I won't allow a hundred audforty-
five dollars to stand bAween you and me and the trade. The
horse is yours."
- - - - -

The scene was in Portland, characters,a rising young
merchant and a pretty woman. He had an affecti m for her,
she a liking for him, so they became betrothed. It did not
come off, the parents objected. While his eyes were full of
gathering tears, he bade hls faltering farewells, then closed
the door upon his hopes. A moment later be opened it,
stepped back into the room, and with tears in his yoke,
brokenly murmured—' I hope this will make no difference
about your coaling to our house of business; and that your
mother will continue to trade with us. I shall be happy to
give the usual discount. Our stock is large and varied, our
aim to please." And the door shut finally, leaving him alone
with his grief.

A female help in Chicago with admirable candour
Informed a lady that she was looking f)r a place where there
was "an old couple with property, but without children,
who would look upon me as a daughter."

A reporter of the Cincinnati Inquirer was sent to
the hotel to interview General Sherman He sent up his
card, and the same time a young lady, attended by a footman,
who was also in the reception•room, sent up her card also.
The messenger soon returned with two cards from General
Sherman, and the clerk handed one to the reporter and the
other to the footman. The reporter read the card that was
handed to him as follows :—" Regret exceedingly that I can't
come. Give my love to your mother, and assure her I have
not forgotten old times. Hope the sob* will be a success,
as lam sure it will be. Pardon the witticism when I ray
that )Ours truly is very soirée he can't be present." The re-
porter has just fini,hed reading, and realized the mistake
that had ueen made, when, looking up, he saw whirling
away the carriage which contained the young lady. Just
then a card with the following rude reply dropped from the
lady'khand and fluttered to the ground :—" Go to Jericho I
What-110i d .re allout the army, qie Chge btH, the
tYtkdey tAlSkprifiti*ntiiiVeistioit, 'ilk, Jotter cilf4trdh:
Again I say, as I said in the beginning, go there yourself I "

An American S ,ciety for the Prosecution of Archaeo-
logical Research, is being formed in Bo•ton, US, the
Americans being anxious to enter the field of discovery with
other nations. The society proposes to explore any spot of
ewe access, and make valuable coneribUtlons tb the various
museums.