The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1885-07-25 00:00:00

JOHN WESLEY AND HIS waE.

AN UNPUBLISHED LETTER OF JOHN
WESLEY.

Great men are not always fortunate in their wives.
Here is a letter written by John Wesley to his wife,
which a correspondent of the New York Critic has
brought to light. John Wesley was married in Feb.
1751, to Mrs. Mary Yazeille, " a merchant's widow in
Threadneedle-street," who possessed a fortune of
about 50,000 dols., secured to herself and her four
children. He was 48, she 41. His biographer, the
Rev. L. Tyerman, says of their marriage that it
"was, in a high degree, an act of folly; and, properly
enough, to the end of life, both of them were made to
suffer a serious penalty."
Coleford,Oct, 23, 1759.
Dna MOLLY,—I will tell you simply and plainly
the thing web. I dislike. If you remove there well,
If not, lam but wherel was. I dislike your showing
any one my letters and private papers without my
leave. This newer did any Good yet, either to you or
zee, or any one. It only sharpens and embitters your
own Spirit. And the same Effect it naturally has
urn.% Others. The same it would have upon me, but
that (by the Grace of God) I do not think of it. It
can do no Good. It can, newer bring me nearer, tho'
it may drive me further off. And should you do as
you often threaten me; then the matter is over. I
know what I have to do. In all this you are fighting
against yourself. You-ave frustrating your own pur-
pose, if you want me to love you. You take just the
wrong way. No one ever wae forced to love another.
It cannot be: Love can only be won by softness:
Foul Means avail nothing. But you say, "I have
tried Fair Means and they die not succeed. If they
do not none will. Then you have only to say, "This
Lyn is of the Lord: I am Clay inhis Hand."
I dislike, 2, Not having the Cbmmand of my own
House; not being at liberty tainvite even ray nearest
Relations, so much as to drinka Dish of Tea, without
disobliging you. I dislike; 3i The being myself a
Prisoner in my own House: the having my Chamber
door watched continually so that no Person' can go in
or out, but such as have your Good Leave. I dislike,
4, The being but a prisoner at lisrge, even. when I go
abroad, inasmuch as you are highly disgusted if I do
not give you an Account of °lvry Place I go, to and
evely Person with whom I' converse.. I dislike, 5,
The not being safe in my own lrouse. My House is
not my Castle. I cannot call even my Study, evsn
my Bureau, my own, They are liable to be plundered
every day. You say, "I plunder you of nothing but
Papers." lam not sure of that. How,ir it possible
I should? I miss money, too, and he that will steal
a Pin will steal a Pound. But were it so, a Scholar's ,
Papers are his treasure: My Journal in particular-1
"But I took only such Papers- as- relate to Sarah
Ryan and Sarah Crosby." That is-not,true.:—What
are Mr. Landey's Letters to Them? Besides, you
have taken Parts of my Journal which relate to
neither One nor the Other. I dislike, 6, Your Treat-
ment of my Servants (Um' indeed they are not
properly Mine). You do all that in you lies-to make
their Lives a Burden to them. You browbeat, harass,
rate them like Dogs, make them afraid to speak to me.
You treat them with such Haughtiness, Sternness-, Sour-
ness, Surliness, Illnature, as never was known in any
House of mine, for near a dozen years. You forget
even Good breeding, and use such coarse Language as-
befits none but a Fishwife.

I dislike, 7, your talking against me behind my
back, and that every Day and almost every Hour of
the Day; making my Faults (real or supposed) the
standing Topic of your Conversation. 1 dislike, 8,
Your Slandering me, laying to my charge things
which you know are false. Such are (to go but a few
days back) "That I beat you." Which you told
James Burges. That I rode to Kingswood with Sarah
Ryan, which you told Sarah Rigby, and that I
required you, when we were first married, never to
sit in my presence without my leave. Which you
told Mrs. Lee, Mrs. Fry, and several others-; and
stood to it before my face. I dislike, 9, your common
Custom of saying things not true. To instance only
in two or three Particulars. You told Mr. Ireland
"Mr. Vazzilla learnt Spanish in a Fortnight." You
told Mr. Fry "Mrs. Ellison was the author as to my
Intrigue in Georgia." You told Mrs. Ellision "You
never said any such thing; you never charged her
with it." You also told her, "That I had laid a Plot
to serve You as Susannah was served by the two
Elders." I dislike, 10, your extreme, immeasurable
Bitterness to all who endeavour to defend my
Character (as my Brother, Joseoh Jones, Clayton
Carthy), breaking out even into foul, unmannerly Lan-
guage; such as ought not to defile a Gentlewoman's
lips if she did not believe one Word of the Bible.
_

And now; Molly, what would any one advise you
to, that has a real Concern for your Happiness ?
Certainly, 1, To show, read, touch those Letters no
more; if you did not restore them to their proper
owner; 2, To allow me the command of my own
House, with free Leave to invite thither whom I
please: 3, To allow me my Liberty there that any who
will may come to me, without Let or Hindrance; 4,
To let me go where I please, and to whom I please,
without giving an Account to any; 6, to assure me,
you will take no more of my Papers, nor any thing of
mine, without my Consent : -6, To treat all the
servants where you are (whether you like them or no)
with Courtesy and Humility, and to speak (if you
speak at all) to them, as well as Others, with Good
nature, and Good manners; 7, to speak no evil of me
behind my .back : 8, Never to accuse me falsely: 9,
To be extremely cautious of saying anything that is
not strictly true, both as to the Matter and Manner:
and, 10, To avoid all bitterness-of Expression, till you
can avoid an Bitterness of Spirit.
These are the Advices, which I now give you in the
Fear of God, and in tender love to Your Soul. Nor
can I give you a Stronger Proof that I am, your
affectionate husband, JOHN WESLEY.

Mary's life ended ten years before her husband's.
She died in 1781, after having made him miserable
for 30 years. Wesley lived to the ripe age of 88. In
the worldly way ha. had gained nothing by his
marriage. It lost him his Fellowship at Oxford, and
at least temporarily alienated his brother Charles and
his wife.