The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1876-12-30 00:00:00

AMERICAN HUMOUR.

A Yankee parson delicately, began a funeral dis-
course by alluding to the fact that he had officiated at the
hanging of the father of the deceased.
A New York journal says "Ohio has a law by which
any husband who opens his wife's letters, can bemade to pay
right smart for it. It isn't a good State for a jealous man to
live in."
A Delaware paper says of a man whose cow died,
"Mr. Jones has the sympathy of the whole town in this his
dark hour of grief." - - - - -

A Western paper speaks of fine gardens surrounded
by mountains all grown without irrigation. It would have
been a pleasure to see these mountains growing.

Ridiculously enough, a New York poetess is writing
about what she would do "U she were a sunbeam."

An obituary notice of a much-respected New York
lady concludes with, "In her life she was a pattern worthy
to be followed; and her death, oh! how consoling to her
friends 1"

The editor of an Illinois paper thinks fishing, as a
general rule, doesn't pay. ."We stood it all day in the
river last week,' he says, "but caught nothing—until we
got home,"

A Yankee editor insists that he wrote the word
"trousseau" plain as a pikestaff in connection with certain
bridal presents. The printer, however, vulgarly put
"trousers."

Barnum (says a New York Journal) wants to get a
nightmane to exhibit at his museum. Let him eat a mince
pie, three, sausages, a dozen pickles, a plate of salad, and a
few pig's feet at midnight. and go at once to bed. He will
get on of the animals in two hours hr less.

A Philadelphia reporter, in describing the turning of
a dog out of court by the order of the bench, says, " The
ejected banine, as he was ignominiously dragged from the
room, cast a glance at the judge for the purpose of being able
to identify Atm at some future time."
The Tennessee barrister who resorted to the insanity
dodge in behalf 10 his negro client, and expatiated at some
length upon thelibsolnte idiocy of the poor fellow, met with
some opposition from the darkey himself, who exclaimed,
"You can hang me, or send me to the penitenchry, or say,
I'se a rascal, but, mister, please don't say ne a fool
again."
Mark Twain considers hens curious animals. They
have no nose, nor no teeth, nor no ears. They have their crops
inside of 'em. The outside of hens is generally put into
pillars and made inter ladies. The inside of a hen some-
times 1111 up gentlemen and ladles. A hen is very much
smaller than an ostrich, which is because if a hen were the
size of an ostrich what large plum-puddings we must have
for such eggs—and my digestion is weak.

- -
A Nebraska paper says that a woman at Fort
Laramie has sued an editor of that place for publishing that
she had murdered three husbands, when In fact she had
murdered but two, the third escaping with a few broken
ribs. "I don't care for their printing the exact truth about
me," says the fair plaintiff, but I will not stand their
exaggerations."

Inquisitive people sometimes meet with little adven
tures which make them weep. I man who was paying at-
teation to a girl in New York stole up to the kitchen where
she was at work the other morning, thinking to see what
kind of housekeeper she was. Ile get interested as he stood
behind a door all unobserved, watching the fair one at her
toll; and in the ardency he obtruded his nose, which is very
long, into a crack in the door. She innoceutly ghat the door
a little. lie now wears It in a sling.