The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1879-01-11 00:00:00

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.

" Menny a man," remarks Josh Billings, "has
reached the summit ov fame, and then lookt down into the
humble valley he cum from, and longed to be back again."

The proprietor of a building site in Wisconsin ad-
vertises his land for sale in this wise :—" The town of Poggis
and surrounding country is the most beautiful which nature
ever made. The scenery is celestial—divine; also two
waggons to sell, and a yoke of steers." _

The inhatitants of Madagascar are dying to get
hold of an American ship captain who has sold them ten
thousand quart calls of tomatoes as a new kind of gun-
powuer.

Joeh Billings in his last oozing out of philosophy
says, "One ov the lazyest things a man kan dew is to eat
soup with a fork. One ov the longest things a man kan do
is to long for perfekt happiness Anger alwus hurts us
more than it does the other phellow wich we git mad at.
When a man ain't good for ennything else he is just right to
sett on a jury. And this is what I may shortly come to..

- -
A woman in Baltimore committed suicide the other
day, leaving a letter to her husband, asking him to let her
be buried in her blue suit.

The Chicago News advises fts readers, when speaking
through the telephone, at a public exhibition of the instru-
ment, to commence by laughing and saying how-de-doo—
it's funny, and proves that you are perfectly familiar with
the Instrument; smile all the time you are talking; it makes
it more pleasant for the spectators. Don't forget to men-
tion, after you get through with the instrument, that it is a
wonderful invention. It will look as if you had a share in
the transaction of invention.

A young man who recently sent a manuscript play
to a theatrical manager had- it returned to him with the re-
mark that if he would only work it over so as to make the
heroine rob the bank instead of defend it, and afterwards
climb up a cataract on a slack rope, with a safe on her back,
while the detectives paused frightened on the brink, It
might do.
-

A party of gentlemen sought to make a display of
their wealth. The first lighted his cigar with a ten-dollar
greenback. The second "went him ten better." and con-
sumed a twenty-dollar note in the same way The third not
to be outdone sacrificed a cool fifty. Then the fourth and
last declared he'd beat the crowd, took a blank cheque from
his pocket. filled it out for a round thousind, signed it, and
then lighted his pipe eith it. The other tree "caved" bat
once at his reokliss extravagance!

The young man was evidently honest in his inten-
tions, but three years of constant courting had failed to over-
come his excessive bashfulness. They were sitting in chairs
at a respectable distance apart. Said the young man, having
spent live minutes in search of a subject; "How do you get
along with your cooking ?" " Nicely ; I'm improving
wonderfully. I can make splendid cake now." "Can you?"
said the young man in a pleaied manner. "What. kind do
you liice best ? " "I like one made with flour, and sugar,
and citron, and rasins, and, currants, and lots of those
things, and beautiful frosting on top," responded miss.
"Why, that's a wedding-cake," exclaimed the young man
nervously. "I meant wedding," said miss shyly. They are
published