The Dorset County Express and Agricultural Gazette.
Dorchester, Dorset, England, 1863-12-29 00:00:00

SELECTIONS FROM PUNCH'S
ALMANACK.

A 001IDTAL FlliND.—Old Tom.
Untvzitam. Idosio.—A Bank Note.
MOTTO TOR • HAIRDIIIIBI3.—Cut and Comb aria I
Tits Fun? Low or Naeono—and more repeats y at
• Theatre on the first nicht—is order.
. • -•

-
DOIVNITIO ECONONT.—The but thing you con do with
meaely pork is to cure
A Commumat. TWIRL —Mow, like • boot, when
it's tight, is extremely trying.
ADV)CII To Coos:ix—Beware of • bluing fire; and
don't drew@ your meat in Crinoline.
A CONTIL4I7IOI.IOIII 111 Tuna--The very Isluntint
obiiervittions are often pointed.

Tit; urn, Au Express Locomotive
may be milled the High Metall'd Boer.
ikezanuoue PeaLerreiforef. —The idea of j.
parting polish to Japan is like that of carrying coals to
Narmada. . . .

MEDICAL MlTHOLOOT.—Enatthesia IS the daughter
of Chloroform. _

&oleos PaesearetUf hi. disoorered • new method
of mesbine potetowe ; they will be done by mesh-inery.
A PIMP/1./TIC PHILOSOPHIS AD DIDCIPLZ OF OLD
If CUL —Hookey Welker. . .

Ent MOLOGICAU —The language of the Hosjsinuaas Is
supposed to boa dialect of Bosh.
An INF...Lusts 13risciew.—Tbs Universal Vegetable
Medicine is a certain cure forinflacumetionin Use eyes of
V°l.a

r A SPORTSMAN'S MORSING ComposT.—Thirb is Do
lush liquor as your Fochunter's Early Purl.
Nan ow MICIIAILMAII DAT. —Geese now WHIM at
an age of discretion,
THE CUT THAT INIITHIR CHIMUI 102 IMEDILIATAL
—The blimp.
PURI ETHICIL—Why is a selfish man agood Christian?
Because he loves his wont enemy; that is, hiossalf.
MEDICAL EHONONT.—Parents and preceptors will
effect • grad saving by moons to the newly-di•oorered
Family Pills for creating • bad appetite.
POETICAL. —The Poet Drayton describes Queen Mab's
chariot as drawn by gnata. This, bay uncertain coin•
mentaton, is the first instance on record of • ipaiitty
turn -out.

.-.----
EITILAVAGANCI 11l FASHIONAILI Lora.—Wlten
poverty comes in at tin door, tin nuke, carpet hasp
oat of the window.

lISNYUL FAMILY RECIIPT.—To Plush • Goose.—To
do this you have only to send your goose to College, end
the chances are that, when he is &hominid, you will
lad him plucked.
OsinsmorraL WATZIL—The most ornamental is that
wide& has the most wavy curls playing round • quantity
of pretty little decks.
Tile lIITIRTINZNCL —The hewn why ladies' watches
ere made of the diminutive Pee they are, is became time
Is generally such • very small object in • lady's eyes.
Coas volt B.u.assag —Onions rubbed frequently on
the head are said to restore the hair. They will
certainly make it grow strong.
DKNOILLISING Erman Or Pocurusg.--bira Grandy
says i.he suet shear that nasty prizefighting, berms it
eometimes ocassione Um employment of Light Weights.
Tas Nsaassr APPIOACH TO ras
ear would only love others one half so much es we love
ourselves, what • happy world it would be I
Nora or vas Moern.—May U. Night all twilight.
" 0 day and night, but this is wondrous stranger
Nall-and-half is • sasaosable beverage.
A LUMINOUS krraaa.ruCL—Spuirdna. tinolnill over
the candle, set his head in • bless, Larldas to [d him
that be made a regular meteor with his hair *light.
lito Jsogr 11114T41.—Trut1t lies in • well. No
wonder then that although Philosophy yells so loud for
II NO MINIM is reasind ; furl! trath lies to • well, who
am truly Minn, that it haaa't Melted the bushel
AN Rums luraorgo.—A iir•that, eimmultlY
posed to represent eternity, is the swags with he
tail In Its mouth. This is a eibialre. Tim sp.pl.t with
its tell in he iNOMIII snore isni, regeleesee ecpu;, as
it makes both ends mesh

LO*DOS CIIII•11; YRS Pnotnrci or WT-IND
: "Do you call this awe? Why We
thinner Minn : "Oh, oil it wants
soil alining up. The cream's at the bottom."
A race Yon Mai MUTING.—An uncommonly :alone
missionary purposes to send out • cargo of Richmond
maids of honour to wean the lane at the hairier of
Africa from cannibalism
Rcrcralcat, Scissen —lt is veil i:totra that tbe
domestic oat, if rubbed in Oat dark, *ill en... 4 Innate of
electricity. Thia kind of lightning as • small lads is
may a Sustain futons.

PaI=TAOS OF TALINTID PlllllOllB. Although
Mademoiselle Rom Bonheur, the Omer of pasture,
may be the daughter of an ;ALA, Terser was tbe sem
of a barber; Albert Darer, of a goldsmith ; Haber
borough. of a clothier; Bony and Ramsay, of builders;
Sir Joshua Reynolds, of clergyman. Tb.rele.cais4
a trade orprofeasion but can boast of beim the ended
men of unusual mental attainments ; and in mese
instances the same Inane& of indaMry ean point ter
various sons oho have extolled in most opposite marmite.
Dardeeers can point to the Tradesman of one oentary,
and Allan Cunningham of the mit Butchers may
urge that the material= of their calling has not pre-
cluded them from roaring sons of the most imaginative
intellects, such as Ak.nslde Dofes, sod &irk Whit.;
or of the most consunimste Pentad abilltr, as in the
esainfle of Thomas Wolsey. It is deemed likely tor
that be father of Shalcapeare tensed botcher when bb
fortune chewed. Dr. Isaac Wane and Chettertea
were the sow of mboolmasten. Booksellers will rejoicer
over Dr. Johnson, watchmakers over Jobs James
Rousseau ; shoemakers over Hans Christian Andersen,
then whom no one has written more araoeftd fairy talee
for children ; hatters will deem their annals relieved by
the name of W. Collins, poet; chandlers by that of
Benjamin Franklin; distillers will think of Wilkes
drapers of Isaac Barrow. the mathematician and
instructor of !foetal', and of Alexander Pope; Jewellery
of Fran2is Orme, and the antiquary, Sir Samuel Ihneilly,
and others. The Church has been most prolific of gifted
sons.—Rodder. _ .

DRATH Or ML TR ACLU AT. —We deeply deplore
having to *nominee the death of this popular and
original writer, which took place suddenly At his resi-
dence on Thursday morning, when Mr. Thaellseray was
found dead in his bed. He had been in iedifferent
health for sonic two or three days previously, bat re
idea was entertained even by tithe of his friends who
were most constant in attendance on him of this most
melancholy and unexpected result Mr. Thackeray
was born in the year 1811, and may be said, therefore
to have been out off in the maturity of his life wad thg;
full 'trove of his powers. In 1860 Messrs. Smith and
Elder commenced the Maparke, and the'
announcement that Mr. Theekeray had ancleriaken the
editorship gave it at once a start and a standing-place Ii
popular favour whicili it might otherwise Inventions 10•81
to attain. He was not only the editor, bet one of the
principal writers, the first number opening with
• portion of • tale by him, under the tits of • Loyel the
Widower." The work, as it proceeded, however, did
not come gratefully to the author, and he brought It to
an abrupt ending, commencing soon afterwards • werk
of higher pretensions, and, as it proves, the last of Ide
works, "Philip, on his way lathe World." In addition
there were the pleasant, goesippine, Roundabout
Nem," light, graceful, comments on the current teethe
of the day, overflowing with kindly humour. and gray-
ing into ail pleasant literary bypath.. He ins up the
editorship of the maragine more than • year ago, but he
contributed an occasional "Roundabout Paper" I. the
last.
kitrtt.troe TN Wert CORNWA —lt may be declined
an unsatisfactory indication in reined to present
festivities that the introduction of mistletoe into Wirt
Cornwall from Devon and Somerset has not proved •
profitable speculation. In particular it may be
mentioned that at Redruth (the "Druids' town") merry
of the Inhabitants did not know the inters or tie
modern use of mistletoe. Some miners qthetieeed the
vendor on these subjects, surmising that it was be pull
in broth, and that the berries were a sort of white
currant, and on his demanding sixpence for. • smell
Manch of the mystic parasite they considered the charge
outrageously high, as there were only half • dame
currents on It—Writers Morning New.
TOW II LIT IR yin ConminfEn CILIA —TE• Bev.
C. R. Gordon, who has been sernt, for especially be
visit this unfortunate culprit, thee writes of hie
state of mind: "Th. conclusion to wine 1. I have
come concerning him, and that too, 'flee longtime,'"
interviews, is that the srisainal is not a respon-
sible agent Again and again be has expressed
delight that his life lath be taken. His manner at these
is decidedly maniacal; he rolls his eyes; his conntemasies
gushes unusually, and he talks ineoberently. At other
periods he is as gentle as a child, and impenitent
kindness. When sitting in his cell with king
his manner quite alarmed MO, and but for the preemie
of another I should imtnediately have called in the two
warders who are mastantly with him. He juggling
murder without giving • reason. He contradicts himself
repeatedly, acknowledges at one time what be denier
another. It is • useless effort to endeavour to instrusb
him in religion, for he has no mental capacity to receive
It. His oondun'from the time of his committing Ilse
awful orime for which he is now doomed is In keeping
with this. When asked in his calm moments how he
evould 111• Cr have brought himself to commit it, be
answers, "AU was dark before my eyes; I don't know
anything About it." Mush es the death of the victim Is
to be deplored. I say it would be more horrid dill if us
Irresponsible agent were now to be tam: to the 'snows..
According to 'Rhoades'', Commentaries" this is se
sufficient cause to arrest the capital sentence. It is Wilt,
consistent with humanity as with jostles that a further
medical examination should be made before the law is
allowed to take its merge. I would suggest also that
the prison officers be examined. There are other reasons
which it appears to me might be urged in his behalf, bet
on this it is now unommeary to enter. I have given •
stern. linpartisl, and conscientious eonskleration of big
condition, and I can wine to DO other conclusion than
that which I have now expressed." The Mtheinster
petitions in favour of Townley have been dispatched to
the Home Offiee. Thee bear 16,709 signatures, but
there are some sheets still to come in, which will very
much Increase the number of the petitioners. The
petition which has been signed at the York Hotel
Chambers is to be promoted by a deputation, consisting
of a few gentlemen from Menchester, who go to London
for Out object The sheets of Mr. Magoon, in Market.
street, received 2,400 signatures, and those of the
Atbensum 800. Another petition, signed under the
auspice. of the immediate friends of the condemned ease,
bears "7.938 names, And that confined i =lure:nay I.
ladies 3,251 signatures. The remaining names hart
been obtained in Wigan, Bolton, Oldham, Koch dale.
and Scarborough. Sir George Grey has orderee •
medical inquiry into the state of mind of the murderer:-
Rollin/MY DI RCUIT. —At the winter madam held**
I Liverpool. December 20, William Standish Carr
, Standish, of Duxtory Hall, surrendered to an Indict-
ment charging him with having, at Orgeskirk, mime.
fully and maliciously wounded • labourer, named
Michael Burke. There were three entitle is the In-
dictment; the first two cheered an unlawful and
malicious wounding, and the third • cowmen seeselt.
Mr. Milker appeared for the prosecution : the Anomie,
General of the County Palatine, Mr. Edward James.
Q.C., and Mr. Pop*, for the prisoner, who, at thy lona-
menoement of his eras, set under his counsel to the.
attorneys seat. It will be recollected that the engager,
who is a magistrate of the Chorley sessions, whiles
riding along the Wigan-road to Ormakirk, overtook
thee* men, whom he fired at with • pistol and then rode
off. The police pursued ; but the prisoner, when celled
upon to surrender, drew his sword and wounded • third
man. The prigoner pleaded guilty to the third comet in
the indictment. No evidence was offered on the other
two. The presiding judge, Mr. Justice Walss.
sentenced the prisoner to one month imprisomneet,.
And to pay • SDK of E3OO to our Lady the Queen, or to.
be further imprisoned until such fine be paid.
SHOCKIN G T Or • DAUGHTER el/R:
Rgeresaege.— A case has just been brought to light at
Parkgate, near Rotherham, showing the most 'heckler
and inhuman treatment of • daughter by her father aed,
stepmother. The matter is creating • considerable,
stir, and is freely canvassed in the locality. For severs'
years it has been weibknown in the neighbourhood of
Parkgate that • young woman was shut spin the house
of her parents, but for what reason and under wine
circumstances no one knew. Persona who have
occasionally heard her cries and feared she was subject
to cruel treatment have spoken of it to Um polies and
others, but nothing was done to asthenia the reel
condition of the girL On Saturday night, however,
she seised • favourable opportunity and escaped to the
house of • neighbour. Her appearance excited teeing,
of horror, and the tale she told of the sufferings the
had undergone could scarcely be credited. She returned
to her" home," and information was given to the police.
On the following morning Serjeant Horne west to the
father's hones and insisted upon mein' his daughter..
After some little hesitation she was called, and ags,
object prevented itself that it could seemly be recognise*
as a human being. Wrapped around her were a few
rags in • most filthy condition ; her eyes were bleak and
nearly elmed • ber lips were swollen to asegionnous ales.-.
.t .
—birth

and on one of her eari was& large wound,from which
was flowing. Her features were shrunken and distorted,
and altogether her appearance was of the most sicken-
ing description. The °Meer tried every means to induce
her to apeak, but he was unable to *licit a word from
her. He then asked to be shown the room from whim's
she was called, and a small place like a recess on the
stairs' landing wee pointed out to him. There wee just
room in it for what wee used as a bedstead, but which
was in reality • heap of filth, and the pleat was in •
most disgusting stale. Persons who live near dale
that it is at least fourteen Faineance the poor orestare
disappeared, and they speak of her aa being them thug
fourteen years of age, and a lively intelligent,.
Although she is now, therefore, shoat twenty h
years of age, the is not so tall as an ordinary of
%welts, having rather diminished in stature than grow
Luring her long sad dreary incarceration. As soon sa
the fasts of the cam became known to Superiateafiesa
Gillett, steps were taken with the view of bringing the
matter before the proper authorities. At • ntati
of the board of guardians the cam was broughtg2
before them by Mr. Oxley, of Parket*, aid
an Investigation was ordered to be made. The meet
extraordinary features in the othe is that the father is
in comfortable circumstances end well able to support
his daughter properly.—Sadield Zadqinsthig.
MELANCHOLY MATH 11105 TIED BETH OE •
MODZIET.—WA WI deeply ooneersed so mord the
demise of John Goain, Bea, the OIDIDNIE OBENDOMODET
and panel caterer, of O.oege'.-atr.s4 In this safe
ehith took place on Sunday morning, loader the follow-
ing &filleting eirenindances :—Some short time shwa a.
friend presented Mr. Goggle with a monkey, whisk he
determined to troth as • spthiel favourite. Ti. days
ago the animal entered Mr. Goggins room where a
lapdog was lying, whims fight ensued, sal, in the ago
of separating them, Mr. Goggin resolved • bile tam the
monkey in the hand. CseiNc, perhaps theantiougy,
wee immediately applied, and for some days DO appro.
hes:miens were enterhathed; eltiagately, however,
mortification set in, and all the =DM that medical
'simians* °paid into regnialikina.
but to no purpose. The solasehsly event has essi a
universal glance over the at,. Yr. Cloyea wasestemei
as • kiod friend ; hulk arable, and 001114110•0 IN the
Dumareng pakelell of his exteasive establielmmet ; wad
his Ism will IsejrlMPethed by a lurge circle if senrow-
the frith& —Ltete'ith lhastAsra Chronicle.

Print/9d sad pablithed fat the Propdsfte, *Camas
worrsatus Mx ot DonbasMr, P.imer, it
Olin al flu Dorset Ouussy iqwOlhezeirdlosk
Dardisobst, Twig, Dossomkr 11011/0.