The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle.
Stourbridge, West Midlands, England, 1883-12-29 00:00:00

" HER WEIGHT IN GOLD."

" Come to me, my dear, and stand you back a bit,
Tatte.rhull ! She ain't yours, yet, my boy. There's
a little bu,iness ter be settled fust, between you an'
me 1"

People stared wonderingly ; and Tom laughed
slightly, and said—
To be sure ; let us ;proceed to settle it at once,
then,"
Turning to the company, he added—
"Ladies and gentlemen, will you be so good as to
follow me ? " and led the way into the next room.
The guests flocked after him, and ranged themselves
about the ch tmber, in the midst of which stood the
weighing•machins and the boxes of gold. Looks of
amazement, ejaculations, whispers, and some smiling
passed round, every one wondering what strange set.
out was to follow. Tom gazed abstractedly at Tottie,
and she looked wistfully back at him, neither of them
seeming to like the arrangement much now it had
come to the point, Then Klagg made a crafty little
speech.

" W'en a young spark, such as that 'ere, comes a-
foolin' round a gal, such as this 'ere, how's the father
of that gal goin' to make sure as the feller 'll be a right
an' proper sort of husband for 'er ? Some has one way
o' jedgin', some has another. Bein' a plain man my-
self, wot fell into trouble in his youth, as all on yer
know, through want er knowledge an' the villany of
others" (deprecatory murmurs) "an' wot's come ter
be a 'spectable member of society" ("Hear, bear !")
"my way's this, knowin' no better. Thinks I, the
beet way o' jedgin' on him's through his pocket."
(Laughter.

"Easy now! If a man goes an' pays a whackin'
big lump for an oss, you may reckon he'll take pre-
cious gocd keer of that ass. 'Cos why? 'Cos he feels
the vally of it. An' he ain't likely t) buy a expensive
critter onless he knews be can take proper keer of it."
(" That's so," from a guest.) Similarly, if a man's got
to pay down a big price afore ever he can get his wife,
his doin' so's pretty clear proof as he sets great store
by 'or. An' satin' great store by 'er means as he's got
a straight notion of bow he's goin' ter keep her comfort-
able. He feels the vally of 'er." ("0, 0 1")

"That's wot I thinks w'en Mr. Tatterbull there
comes an' says, 'I want Tuttie 'Ow much do you
want 'er?' says I. 'Every much,' sass he, 'fur she's
worth her weight in goold,' he says." (Great laughter;
smiles from the ladies). 'You've just hit it,' I told
'im. ' Given as how you're able an' willin' to pay
Tottie's weight in goold, pound fur pouni, an' ounce
fur ounce, an' she bein' willin,' you kin have 'er,'"
(Sensation.) "So we argufied the matter, an' he put
'is 'and to the bargain along o' mine. ' rain't 'cos I
wanted his dust !" (" Oh, the old rascal !'') " but 'cos
I wanted to make sure as my gal was goin' to a man
as'd vally 'er properly." (" Hear, hear !")
"So now you all know the meaning of this.
" Tottie, my dear, get onto the scales! Don't be
fear'd now, my child! There's nothin' fur you to be
'sham'd of! Most any gal'd be proud to have a man
as'd weigh 'er down with goold; BO you've no need ter
blush, or hide per head !' (A buzz of ejaculations.)
So Tottie mounted the weighing-machine in all her
bridal array, and stood on it looking prettily con-
fused

Now came the critical point, closely watched by
Klagg. Tottie was enloined to keep perfectly btill on
her perch, and Tom affected to be observing minute
nicety in regulating the precise weight to the fraction
of an ounce. An axe had to be fetched, in order
that he might chop a bar into small pieces. And
pinches of gold.duEt were sprinkled, speck by speck,
till the indicator stood exactly level.

"Are you satisfied ?" said Tom to Klagg.
"Perfectly I" replied that worthy, rapturowly.
" Tcttie's yours now, with all my 'eart. And he kissed
her, led her down from the stand, and gave her to
Tom. Then he gloated over the heap of glittering
metal, checked it off with exultant fingers, and stowed
it away, muttering, "One thousand six hundred and
ninety-four ounces and three•quarter:‘ !—second fine-
ness ! Bank assay !—value, three-ten per ounce!
That makes five thousand nine hundred and thirty.
one pounds, twelve and eirrience. 'Fought ter bin
first quality But then 'Us Queensland goold. Well,
well! Let go !"—From "A Gulden Bride," by W.
Delisle Hay, in the Christmas Number of London
Society.