conv: After being married to my first wife for 8 years_comma_ I found out she was having an affair behind my back. It was not a very good time for me. After being married for 8 years to my first wife_comma_ I found out she was having an affair behind my back. Im sorry about that. How did you find out? She came out and told me about it. It was one of the worst times in my life. That stinks. Are you still with her or did you leave her?