history: afraid of not giving too much i am so afraid... afraid that i am not giving too much to the world_comma_ what if i parish not having done anything? I wouldn't worry too much about it. None of it really matters_comma_ if we make a difference or not_comma_ we all end up dust in the end.
current: no, i don't believe that, whether you are having a bad day or not if you look at everything clearly you will see there is a next stage, just like birth death is a process
next: If telling yourself that makes you feel better, I found all of that to be much more stressful. To be completely honest with you I think people invented stories about the after life to make them more comfortable with death.