history: afraid of not giving too much i am so afraid... afraid that i am not giving too much to the world_comma_ what if i parish not having done anything?
current: I wouldn't worry too much about it. None of it really matters, if we make a difference or not, we all end up dust in the end.
next: no, i don't believe that, whether you are having a bad day or not if you look at everything clearly you will see there is a next stage, just like birth death is a process