history: I always complain and treat my husband like crap, I need to change. I always complain_comma_ nag_comma_ and treat my husband like crap. Which makes me feel like crap. I need to change/ Whoa_comma_ that is quite the confession. But you know_comma_ it's good that you recognize that you need to change a behavior. Very mature. Not everyone has that same ability to be honest with themselves_comma_ and you should feel proud about that!
current: That's true but it's not much to be proud of. You say it is but I certainly don't feel that way.
next: I know, and I know it can be really hard to deal with that guilt. You want to solve the problem though, and that's still worth something. Being able to take the little victories will go a long way toward the goal you want in terms of how you treat your husband.