history: I just went over to some mutual friends house for their sons birthday party.  This house was probably three quarters of a millio dollars. I was just over at some friends multi million dollar house for their sons birthday party... Nice! Did you steal anything while you were there?
current: Gosh I ate as much of the food as possible.   You're right though I should have helped myself to the ol five fingered discount.
next: Well, at least you filled your stomach. Next time, don't forget about your pockets!