history: The other night I went to take my dog out and there was a giant spider on my front porch.  I thought it was going to attack me. I have to tell you about one of the scariest moments ive had in a long time.. What happened?
current: I went to take my dog outside to use the bathroom last night, and when we walked outside onto the porch there was a giant spider the size of my fist.  I thought it was going to attack me.  I ran back inside so fast.
next: OMG, those things make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Hopefully it didn't get into your house.