history: Life can be really not a happy place. It pains me that so many don't love or care and hurt others. Life can be really not a happy place. Sadly_comma_ I agree with you.  As I get older_comma_ it seems like that more and more.  What happened that made you feel that way? Oh so many things. Lots of trauma. Life really is just full of lots of really difficult events..trying to maintain your spirit and being a good person through it_comma_ is really the task of life! Its so true! I battle chronic illness and excruciating pain daily for almost 14 years now not to mention drowning in old medical bills.  I put my faith in God and pray for relief.  Its really hard to stay optimistic.  I really hope life improves for you and you can enjoy and embrace life again.  
current: Thank you! I have tried..it's been a VERY traumatic year in so many ways..and I didn't think it could get any worse a few years ago..Wrong! I hear you with pain! Please try every treatment you can. DIET plays a HUGE role- also chiropractor, Nuerofeedback, Different herbs! I found eating right, exercising, herbs, vitamins, organic food helped with my pain caused by doctors- I had tons of neuropathy, pain and fibro like symptoms in addition to the trauma of deaths, abuse etc. I hope YOU feel better and YOU inspire me right now that I don't have it so bad!!!
next: That is exactly what I've been going through along with horrible doctors that did nothing for me.  I just went high nutrient vegan 3 months ago and am improving my leaps and bounds.  I follow Dr. Joel Furhman.  You can keep going and your journey is giving you compassion for others that are going through horrible things.  Take heart and I hope you feel better.  