history: My daughter got a birthday card full of money this week and I took the cash before she could see it. My daughter got a birthday card full of money this week and I took the cash before she could see it.
current: Well, that was terrible of you. Why would you do that?
next: I'm desperate for cash.  I feel really bad about it, but I like having my knee caps intact.  I guess she'll find another way to pay for college anyway.