history: I was sitting on my couch the other day, when my two year old came out of nowhere, and threw my phone at my head.  It hurt really bad. I was sitting on my couch the other day_comma_ when my two year old came out of nowhere_comma_ and threw my phone at my head. It hurt really bad. Oh jeez_comma_ did you ask him why he did that? Sometimes he is just trying to be helpful_comma_ and hand me things.  I think sometimes he just gets too excited to be helpful_comma_ and clocks me in the face.
current: I see, well kids will be kids
next: I don't know how many times I'm going to have to tell him not to throw things though!