history: I walked to work the other day because it was so nice out. I was in a great mood until I heard a loud squish. I realized I had stepped in a large pile of steaming dog mess. I was absolutely livid! It was a nice day so I decided to walk to work recently. I was feeling great until I heard a loud squishy noise. Don't tell me you stepped in dog poop.
current: How did you guess? I looked down and saw I nailed a fresh steaming pile of dog wonder. Well let's just say my mood quickly turned very foul!
next: C'mon man, I just finished eating. I hope you took a shower and bought some new shoes.