history: I took out the garbage yesterday. The bag exploded as I took it to the street. It was so gross. I took the garbage to the road last night and the bag burst. Got nasty stuff all over my shirt. Ugh_comma_ that's the worst!  Bright side - at least you weren't far from home that you were able to clean everything up_comma_ right? No_comma_ my garbage can is 2 miles away. The smell was so strong that a herd of possums jumped me on the way back. *blinks*  One_comma_ I didn't know possums travelled in herds and two_comma_ I am only hoping your day didn't get worse from there?
current: Oh, but it did. When I was almost there...ALMOST...a gaggle of ravenous hobos shanked me. I'm not sure why, but it happened, I swear.
next: Bless it!  And you survived all of that to tell the tale!  And all of this over a busted garbage bag!  We gotta get you a better brand of garbage bags, friend.  :)