history: One time I walked into a final knowing damn well that I was gonna fail. Just the idea of knowing that I was gonna 100% fail was so  nerve wracking. I walked into a final knowing that I was gonna fail and it was so nerve wracking.
current: Why were you so down on yourself about failing?
next: It wasn't so much that I was gonna fail as know that I had to sit in there for hours and I was gonn fail anyway.