history: I farted at work today. I never have been mortified in my life. I let out a moist_comma_ warm fart today in front of all of my co-workers today.
current: You must be very comfortable in your office! How did they react?
next: Some ran away in terror. Others in disgust. I think I sent one to the ER even. At any rate, I was mortified and I am sure I won't ever live this tragedy down.