history: Someone stole one of my pigs.  I am so upset about it. Someone stole one of my pigs. You too? One of mine died from food poisoning recently. What are you going to do?
current: Nothing, I use them to get rid of evidence.  I am so upset about it.
next: You know what they say, don't you? "You can always buy a new pig - just don't, under any circumstances, involve the cops"