history: I know I will be safe in the event of a total nuclear holocaust as long as I duck and cover underneath the nearest school desk. There's just not a single thing wrong with my plan.
current: You wanna know why I'm not worried about nuclear armageddon? Because I bought a school desk at one of the district auctions, and all I have to do is duck and cover and nuclear fire won't touch me.
next: lol! I remember those drills when I was a kid!