history: I was cleaning up my garden and found a bunch of old bones in it!  I was cleaning up my garden bed when I found a bunch of bones in it!  Oh my god! what did you do? did you tell anyone?
current: I called the cops! Turns out that it's bird bones! My cat has been killing bird after bird and leaving it in my garden! 
next: LOLOLOL the cops probably had a good laugh about that.