of process but the more you say I'm going to in spite of the fear that we talked about or the anxiety or the frustration or the aggression or the hostility or whatever it is I'm paying the suffering instead of saying that I can't change that you know what I'm gonna think I'm gonna see if I can where can I find that information where and all of a sudden you find people that are doing it and it makes sense to you and you're like well okay I'm feeling really anxious instead of taking something that's going to chemically change me let's see if I