text: normally i do not venture to party outside of my central phoenix neighborhood. but i jumped at the opportunity to see faux punk, a daft punk dj cover crew, at axis-radius. saw the ad for it in the new times, and they included a write up to comment on how cool this daft punk replica was, and that they featured a space ship stage, daft punk-style helmets, laser lights, and used all the same touch equipment that the real punks use. with only a $5 dollar cover. sounded cool to me, so a few friends and i headed out to scottsdale for an unforgettable night of douchbagery.\n\nupon arrival at axis radius, we found no parking and had to valet for $7. we got in line and were told there was a $10 cover. i told the door guy that the new times said it was $5, and he told me to show him. i was taken back, and joked to him as to why the hell i would carry a new times around with me to the bar. refusing to pay $10 to get in, we walked out of line and approached some important-looking security management people who let us in for $5. we got inside, at around midnight, figuring we were gonna be right on time to see faux punk start. they were nowhere in sight. both dj's downstairs were not playing daft punk, and i saw no spaceship stage. \n\ni asked AT LEAST 5 security guards (there are like 50 of them in here to ensure no one gets their ed hardy shirts ripped off or their veneers knocked out) and bartenders and no one seemed to know who the fuck i was talking about, nor knew of the event really. if your club is hosting an event that you've been promoting all across the valley, don't you think you'd school your employees on what was going on? how did no one in that whole fuckin place have no clue what i was talking about?\n\nwe finally got ahold of a bottle girl walking around who told us that the faux punk DJs were UPSTAIRS performing, which was the VIP area. what. the. fuck. they finally came downstairs to perform about 20 minutes later, minus the spaceship stage and cool daft punk replica instruments. and their helmets were motorcycle helmets covered in duck tape.\n\ndrinks were way overpriced, two vodka drinks came out to $23. plus a $1 credit card usage charge. \n\ni was afraid to leave my girlfriends side for fear one of the 10,000 single guys in the room would verbally rape her.\n\ni don't know whose fault this whole mess was, but i'm going to blame all of the sources. axis radius for their lack of communication. the promotions company for being hella unclear. and the new times for dragging me to the epicenter of sausage fest 3000.