arjun2183/Counselor huggingface dataset:
Question: How does a person start the counseling process?
Counselor response: First, identify the areas that you need help with. What are the issues that are most troubling you? Are these situations creating an impact on your daily routine?Second, do some research as to the type of counselling service you are looking and that would best suit your needs. Are you looking for individual sesssions, couples/family sessions, etc. And research potential therapists in your area that focus their counselling approach on your therapeutic needs. Third, contact the therapist (most don't answer the phones, so leave a message or send an email). Don't be affraid to ask questions. You want to make sure that this professional is a good "match" for you and will work with you at working toward your therapeutic goals (the things you want to address/work on during the sessions).Fourth, have the expectation that, depending on the issues, you will need multiple sessions/appointments with the therapist to really address the issues and work toward your therapeutic goals.It takes strength and courage to reach out for help, but I know you can reach your goals. It takes time, patience, and practice do really address your needs. Good luck!
Question: Does counseling really do anything that can help people?
Counselor response: Counseling definitely helps people!  I have seen so many positive changes from those willing to engage in the counseling process.  Having a safe place to openly share concerns with an objective listener really is therapeutic and can make a huge difference in your life.    Many times people don't feel heard or validated by people in their lives, counseling call help validate your feelings and help you become more self-aware.  You can learn new skills to better manage your life as well.  I find the people who get the most out of it are the ones most willing to make changes.
Question: I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been upset for no reason and feeling anxious. I'm feeling burnt out. What can help me feel better?
Counselor response: There's no such possibility that you're upset for "no reason"!The reason is not obvious, not that you are feeling upset in response to nothing at all.What can help you feel better is to be kind and gentle with yourself because this sort of approach will more likely relax your mood and mindset enough for the tension and anxiety you feel, to dissipate somewhat.Try to understand whether certain situations or interactions remind you or feel similar to ones which distressed you before.This may be the reason for your anxiety.It is good news that you know the difference between your usual sense of yourself and that you've been away from this feeling.Give yourself a little credit for understanding yourself.   Giving credit adds confidence and confidence will help you find the reasons and new ways to handle your anxiety.
Question: My dad refuses to acknowledge my anxieties about going to parties, dinners, etc. Whenever I have an opinion it gets shut down. My mom and everyone else behaves likewise. For my father who heads a company, this is normal. He has to be right all the time. He blatantly refuses to even try to see it from my angle.    Recently however, it's been getting to the point where I feel pressured and unable to speak my mind. It isn't possible for me to get professional one-on-one help. He tells me to grow a pair and get over it. I recently have been developing more severe body image and self-confidence issues, which I have had all my life. I feel invalidated by my dad. I have been more paranoid lately as well. I can't turn on location services anymore on my phone because of a past incident. He makes me feel guilty about it. I feel rather worthless more often than not, unfortunately. What do I do?
Counselor response: I'm sorry to hear that you are unable to get through to your parents. It sounds like you are experiencing a great deal of anxiety that needs to be addressed by a professional (despite the fact that you are unable to at the moment). I would recommend talking with another adult such as a school counselor that can offer you support in this area. Perhaps they can work with you on your anxiety issues and schedule a meeting with your parents so that he/she may help mediate the conversation with them.If you are unable to reach out to a school counselor maybe you can try a member of the family such as an aunt or an uncle that feels comfortable addressing the issue with your parents. Sometimes it helps hearing it from a third party before the situations is taken seriously enough.Good luck!
Question: I'm a female in my mid 20s.  Lately I tend to over drink and I've become a very angry drunk. 

In the past, I have even cheated on my boyfriend while I was under the influence of alcohol. 

But now, even if I don't do anything wrong and don't embarrass myself, I still feel really guilty after a night of drinking. I don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Does this mean I have a problem?
Counselor response: The short answer is yes - if you feel 'really guilty after a night of drinking', then you probably have a problem. What you could do is visit this website by the National Institutes of Health: http://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/How-much-is-too-much/  There you will find information on how many drinks is too much, and the general answer for women is more than seven drinks in a week. There is also a quiz you can take anonymously that will help you determine if your drinking is a problem. The good news is that you can get help for substance abuse through counseling, self-help programs, or alcoholics anonymous.
Question: When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I’m afraid it’s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal.
Counselor response: As a  Parent it can be very hard to see your child struggling. It sounds like they’re experiencing anxiety from their stress. It’s always a good idea to check in with your family doctor. Many children are experiencing anxiety and can benefit from individual counseling services to help them cope with their stress. School pressures and academic achievements  can you create physical stress responses in the body. Seeing a counselor can also help you as the mom or dad have available tools to provide Continued support. It sounds like you are a great support for them and helping them connect to their resources.
Question: We’ve been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he doesn’t love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.
Counselor response: Try having a conversation with your boyfriend about your views and wishes for the relationship, when the two of you are having a calm time.  A few questions I'd like to ask him is why he says he doesn't love you when the topic at hand is about a specific practical matter.I'd also like to know what he hopes will happen from dwelling on a matter.And, why are you swallowing your pride?  Sooner or later this will come up on you in much bigger ways.  Instead, try to know your own wishes that you are either not stating or are being ignored by your boyfriend.The best way to resolve accumulated tensions is to slowly open the discussion between the two people.It is possible to stay together forever.  What you each need to realize, is the terms under which this would most likely take place.Sending lots of luck!
Question: I'm in my late teens and live with my dad.  The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. 

Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.

Are they right, am I depressed?
Counselor response: If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you "don't have to live like this..."  Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?  Anyone in  your family been depressed before?  Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.
Question: I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before.    I feel like I don't want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in my life because the conditions surrounding our love are considered "wrong" by a lot of people.
   How can I get myself to just move on?
Counselor response: Well, there is some good news and not-so-good news. The good news is that people are capable of moving on from relationships, even if the person showed them a sort of love that they've never felt they've had, or deserved, before. Sometimes, even just the fact that this has happened for them can, eventually (see below) lead them to seek out love again, because they now believe they will be able to have that again.So, the not-so-good news though is that one can not "just move on." I'd even venture to say that the pressure you may be putting on yourself to just move on and out of this yucky hole of feelings that you are in is actually too much pressure and adding to the yucky feelings as they are. Instead, try thinking of getting past these feelings as grieving over the loss of someone (even though someone didn't die, there is still a significant loss you are experiencing) and therefore how essential it is to allow yourself to grieve, to feel whatever feelings (of anger, or sadness, or something else) that you are feeling. Often, it is really helpful to speak those feelings (I recommend professionals in this case) who can help you feel like you are not pathological for this struggle, and instead that it is completely normal. Love is a crazy thing, and the feelings can get very confusing. But, the last stage of grieving is "acceptance," and it is very challenging to get there if you skip over denial, anger, bargaining, and depression.
Question: My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic, silly or meaningless items.  I get so frustrated and angry, but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn’t her fault.  How can I cope with feeling like this?
Counselor response: Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.
Question: I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?
Counselor response: Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor.  As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.
Question: When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I’m afraid it’s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal.
Counselor response: Aye, you're correct, that isn't normal, and maybe you should get her to a doctor!Before you do that, and if she were my daughter, I would provide her the necessary physical support that can be given readily at home; that is:  proper natural diet, rest, and a good sense of detoxification before she readies herself to approach it.Basic listening is warranted here and would be of great use.
Question: My son stole my debit card and lied about it. It's not the first time he has lied. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I should punish him or make him do something. I've tried talking to him and asking if anything was wrong. I have grounded him, but nothing works. What should I do?
Counselor response: A lot depends on the age of your child, but given that it was a mis-used debit card, I am going to guess he's a teen?  Assuming that, there are a couple of important things to keep in mind...1.  That he lied about the misuse indicates he knows he was in the wrong.  That's a dreadful feeling - getting caught out- and an impulsive lie may have popped out of his mouth before he thought it through (after all a debit spend is pretty easy to track).  2. Once he lied he stuck with the lie.    Somewhere along the line, even though he knew that you knew he wasn't telling the truth, he stuck with his story.  And as you said, it's not the first time he lied.  Now it looks like a habit has formed.Going forward, when there is a dishonest act of any kind, it's essential that you set it up so your son can be truthful.  Simply put, do not ask questions.  If you know for certain that he has, for example, misused your debit card, say so.  Asking "did you" invites him to get creative with denial; asking "why did you" implies that, with a good enough reason, he might not be in hot water with you.  Instead, say what is:  "I see this charge on my debit card and realize you used it without my permission".  (You can only do this if you know for sure it was him but it sounds like you do).  If he meets with denial, stay calm, restate that you are aware this happened.  Then deliver consequences that match the transgression (he has to return the item if it's returnable or find a way to pay you back for the charge as well as any fees incurred in using it).  Make it harder to find your card because he isn't that great at curbing the impulse to use it yet.And most importantly, once the consequence is delivered you have to let it go.  Continuing to bring it up won't benefit him, but it does have the potential to make him more sneaky.  Every time he asks respectfully to use it, whether you allow him to or not, be sure to praise him for asking nicely.  "Catch" him doing it right as often as possible.Hang in there - this isn't super unusual behavior but it isn't acceptable, so address it but don't let yourself get too wound up about it.
Question: I have PTSD from childhood events and other traumas as an adult. I have panic attacks, nightmares, anger, and at times depression. I feel like I'm always on the edge or just apathetic.  Can I fix this by myself?
Counselor response: I will not say that you can't but I will say it will be much harder and the time may take much longer.  Getting help and having someone to be there with you through the ups and down of PTSD makes the journey much easier.
Question: How does a person start the counseling process?
Counselor response: Great question!  You can find a counselor by doing an internet search or by asking your doctor for a referral.  Once you have the name and contact information for a therapist you want to meet with, give them a call.  Some therapists will provide a free 15-20 minute phone consultation.  This is a good chance for you to get some questions asked.  Be sure to ask about their fee, if you want to use your insurance ask them if they take your insurance.  Next you will want to ask about availability to make sure they have open times that fit in your schedule.  Once you make the appointment, in the first session you have with the therapist, the therapist will ask a lot of questions about what brought you into therapy and what you hope to accomplish in therapy.  I usually use the last 10 minutes of that first session talking with clients about how I might be able to help them with their concern and I gather feedback from them.  Here is a link to an article about how to speak with your therapist in those first couple of sessions.  http://thriveworks.com/blog/tips-open-honest-counselor/
Question: I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has "friends" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?
Counselor response: I'm sorry for how you're feeling in your marriage lately.  Are you and your husband able to talk directly about your feelings?  The way two people connect is usually by talking with each other to understand what each one cares about and thinks.Your current emotional suffering is the natural result of being married to someone who shows no interest in doing this.If your husband wants to start talking with you, then there is a chance the two of you can reconnect.  If he doesn't want to participate in the relationship with you, then start to think if its possible and for how long, to get emotional support from friends and family who do care for you.Also a question for the future is to understand what the value of your marriage is to you besides having a connection to your husband.
Question: I can't understand what I pay attention to.
Counselor response: One way to concentrate is that if your mind starts to wonder then remind yourself to bring your attention back.Start with short time spans of expecting yourself to concentrate.  You'll more likely succeed with concentrating with small time spans than longer ones.Once you start seeing your success, this will motivate you to try increasing the length to expect yourself to concentrate.The task of self-reminding is the same, whether for long or short time periods.Also, before starting this exercise ask your medical doctor if the problem can be related to a physical health problem.If there is, then have the possibility ruled out that your difficulty concentrating comes from the mental ability to concentrate, and not some medical reason preventing this.Before someone can engage their psychological will there must be a clean medical body and mind with which to work.
Question: I feel that I need to end my present relationship. He lives three hours away and likes the reassurance of having someone to talk to multiple times per day and seeing me once or twice a month. I want someone who is more present and more of a life companion. Lately, he has had a very busy work schedule and I have only seen him a few times in the last 6 weeks. I told him that I can't continue in this way because I constantly feel frustrated and angry and that he is not making the relationship enough of a priority. I also feel it is keeping me from possibly finding the relationship I want. We have been together 7 years. The problem is that I panic and experience anxiety and depression thinking of him with someone else and then thinking I will never meet someone I like. We have gone through this cycle already 4-5 times and I feel it is unhealthy to stay in it, but my aversion to the anxiety and depression I experience upon separation always leads me to reconcile.
Counselor response: Sounds like your panic is less about loosing the relationship you are in (which by the way doesn't sound like it's meeting YOUR need for connection) and more about being alone. Being with him is serving you, even if the relationship is less than ideal, from being alone. Being alone can be scary. You'd have to face yourself. You'd have to learn to love and care for and cherish yourself. All important skills and tasks in maturing and growing up, but scary none the less. What if...What if you gave yourself permission to be in a relationship with YOU?
Question: I've recently thought that i could be transgender but I've never had the mind of a girl.
Counselor response: Hello Frostproof,Thinking about becoming transgender and being transgender are slightly different.  This is a topic that is best discussed with a therapist that specializes in LGBTQ issues.  From what you have written it sounds as if you still have some confusion as to where you fit in with the "labeling system".  While labels provide a means to quickly identify and classify, they can also feel restrictive or confining.  Instead of focusing on fitting into a specific classification, explore who you are as a person and celebrate your positive qualities and those things that make you uniquely you!  There are many options for you to find a therapist and e-therapy is also an option.  You can try Breakthrough an online service.   Here is some reading for refection that you may find helpful.  Yin Yang Woman Man http://dld.bz/ejVK2  What does it mean to be a woman or a man?
Question: I feel so alone. I have so many people around me, but it seems as they just listen and dont understand. They say it will all be okay, or they don't listen to me st all. Everyone says they are here for me but it doesn't feel like they are. Why do I feel so alone?
Counselor response: We feel alone because we are not comfortable with being our self. When you find that nobody is around do you feel alone? Your never alone. Once you take the journey to really understand who you are and unconditionally loving all that is you, there will never be an alone moment. We seek outside of self to fill inside. This is the big lie of the planet. All you need and have ever needed you supply yourself. www.lifecounselingorlando.com