arjun2183/Counselor huggingface dataset:
Question: Maybe this is a stupid question, but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?
Counselor's response: Thanks for posting.  This is a significant issue for many people and can make us feel helpless; among other emotions due to the uncertainty.  You said that, at times, you feel like everyone is lying. Ask yourself some of these questions.  What is it that makes you feel so strongly that they are lying?  Where is the concrete evidence that they are lying? How could I test my thoughts about this? What if things are not what they seem on the surface? Am I any lesser of a person as a result of this person's behavior or opinion?  Our beliefs about ourselves and the people and our world  and how we interpret information and experiences have a significant effect on how we feel and how we behave.  It is important to objectively challenge the beliefs that contribute to negative emotions.  You can start this process by answering some of the above questions.  We are unfortunately influenced by what and who we associate with.  As it pertains to if God is a lie; be honest with yourself and question your beliefs that tell you that God is or is not real.  It may be helpful for you to speak to a preacher or chaplain of some sort and they can help you with a lot of that.  Hope this helps at least a little bit.
Question: I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it’s so vivid, it’s like it’s happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age.
Counselor's response: Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a very complex issue.  It is the root cause of many other issues including depression, anxiety and anger to name a few.  Re-experiencing the event is a telltale symptom of PTSD.  One of the best things you can do for yourself is to find someone who specializes in this area to help you work through the symptoms associated with this disorder as well as directly addressing the event/events that initially caused the symptoms.  There are various treatment methods available to helping professionals that are successful in treating this disorder.  In the meantime there is a book called "The Body Keeps the Score", it is informative and may be helpful for you on your journey.  It is my hope that you are not dealing with this alone.   Best wishes!
Question: Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me?
Counselor's response: This is a great question! I often wonder about what normal really means. Counseling is a personal process where many emotions can be experienced by people. I I do not believe it is just you who cries in therapy. Therapy can bring out many emotions such as laughter, anger, frustration, relief, grief, sadness, and many more emotions. Talking to your counselor about your experience might provide insight and healing for you. If crying surprised you and you feel comfortable that might be something you could bring up with your counselor.
Question: I start counseling/therapy in a few days (I'm freaking out) but my main fear is that I'll cry and embarrass myself, is it something to worry about?
Counselor's response: Lots of people do cry in session, but your therapist won't be uneasy with this.  Crying is a natural response and it also releases toxins, so some might say it's necessary!  Remember that you can be in charge of what you talk about in your session and if there's something that feels too uncomfortable, just say, "I'm not ready to talk about that."  Your counselor wants  you to feel at ease and will probably not push you right away to a very uncomfortable place.  As you get to know your therapist, you will feel more relaxed and even not worry so much about how you appear to them.  It's normal to be anxious going into a new situation especially when you might not feel in control of uncomfortable emotions.  Don't give up, go and put your best effort in! Hope that helps, Allison
Question: These "jokes" are made about everything. They seem to have the need to say something "funny" about everything. It's not funny, just awkward.
Counselor's response: I agree, it is awkward when people make jokes about subjects which may not be funny at all.  And, if a person only jokes, then after laughing and realizing the person has nothing of themselves to offer, this can also be quite tedious.Realize that you are more aware of human interaction having many levels of expression.  You could start avoiding people who irritate you by the way they behave.
Question: I don't know what's wrong with me. At times I can be really happy, excited, I'll talk fast, and I want to do things. But lately I've been staying up way later and sleeping too much. I don't hang out with friends, I don't really have them. I feel nothing, worthless. I want to do nothing, I have no interest in anything. 

All I usually do is stay in my room. I want to be happy, I want to be nice. What's wrong with me?
Counselor's response: I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling as if you're in a slump. First of all, nothing is wrong with you. Many people report similar symptoms. Have you ever talked with a physician regarding your symptoms? Two extreme emotions such as feeling extremely happy and then feeling extremely low for a length of time may indicate a mood disorder. I think it would be best to talk with your doctor or a therapist to help pinpoint the issue causing them.It's possible that it could just be certain stressors in your life that are causing the two extremities but you definitely want to rule out any mental health issues. If it is in fact mental health related there are many medications or therapy choices that can help. Thanks for reaching out! I hope that you will feel back on track soon!
Question: Both of my parents committed suicide together, and I was the one who found them. I suffer from overwhelming depression, which is having an extreme effect on me and my husband’s sex lives. He does not understand at all and is always making me feel so uncomfortable about sex.
Counselor's response: Hello, and thank you for your question. First, I want to tell you how sorry I am for the experience you had with your parents. That is a grief and trauma that is certainly hard to imagine. Trauma and grief can affect us in many ways, and certainly deeply personal things like our sex lives. It may be difficult for others to make the connection, but it is there. So, for example, if stress and trauma make you feel like you are not interested in sex, a partner may take it as a personal rejection rather than response to stress, trauma or grief. If your husband will agree to it, couple's counseling may be your best bet. A counselor can help you with your communication and may be able to provide some education to your husband about trauma and how it can have an impact on intimacy. If he doesn't agree to go, it may be worth it to go on your own. You still have a lot you are dealing with yourself. And sometimes our personally therapy can influence others, so it may be a good idea. It is important to remember that even though you are married you have the right to make decisions about your body, and that includes when you want to have sex with it. I hope this is helpful, and some of my colleagues may have ideas, also. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC
Question: I keep on begging him to come back. I am so unhappy with him but am so scared of being a single parent to our son. I was abused as a little girl and that has made to be very abusive to men. What should I do...
Counselor's response: Major change frightens almost everybody.Don't be so afraid of your fear that you let yourself beg and are willing to accept unhappiness as a standard in your marriage.If you start considering that life can be better than what is current for you now, new possibilities and ideas will start developing in your mind.Consider finding a therapist so that you have private space to talk in detail about your fears and the new ways of seeing your Self.A therapy relationship, since it is safe and supportive, will be a good balance to having been abused, suffered, and unhappy.
Question: My brother just broke up with his girlfriend. While they were dating for the past two years, her son spent the weekends with me and my mother. Now she doesn't think her son should have any interaction with us. How should we approach the situation? Is she doing the right thing for her child?
Counselor's response: Hi Tampa, I get that this is a loss for all of you; you have bonded with this child as a result of the significant time you have spent with him. He's a lucky boy to have had you all taking care of him. Certainly, it seems that his mother might not be making the best decision for her son; if you are willing to maintain the relationship, it would be good for him to still have that contact. In my book, the more people loving a child, the better. But, ultimately, she has the right to make these decisions. To oppose her won't likely do any good. You can focus on grieving this relationship and supporting your brother through his loss as well.
Question: After first meeting the client, what is the process that a counselor facilitates?
Counselor's response: A good therapist will discuss what brought you to therapy in the first place and devise a therapy plan with you on some of the things that you may want to work on.  The plan is not set in stone as things may arise during your therapy sessions. You also agree on how often and when you would like to meet.
Question: I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?
Counselor's response: Your fear may have deeper roots within your sense of who you are, than you realize.   Fears are sometimes irrational so that logic doesn't get rid of them.Think about whether you felt secure and confident as a child.  Also, did any major bad events happen to you with other people or situations when you were growing up?Often these overwhelming situations of childhood stay with us as fears of situations in our adult lives.  If the root of the problem w the fear is from long ago, then probably a therapist who can ask you questions which help you remember upsetting childhood circumstances, may help you to dissolve the current fear.Another possibility is CBT, cognitive behavior therapy which teaches people short term mantras to do something which is safe, say being a passenger in a commercial airplane, which feels frightening to a person.CBT is short term and results are limited to specific fears.  It is a much quicker approach than self-understanding.
Question: My dad makes me feel like shit and like I'm worthless.  He calls me names and makes me feel depressed.  I want to move out because I swear if I stay here, I'm going to lose it. What can I do?
Counselor's response: Are you old enough to move out? Then by all means, what's stopping you?If not, is it possible for you to move in with another family member?If you're a minor, CPS may need to step in. They often do in cases of abuse. Your safety is the number one priority.It's difficult to offer advice without knowing more about your situation. But I can say this: Don't let other people define your self worth. You can choose NOT to allow him to make you feel anything. It really is that simple. By looking at it as a choice you make, you will be empowered to take control over your emotions and learn to feel better about yourself because your self-worth will no longer be defined by what someone else says about you or how they treat you.Let me say that again in a different way: Your self-worth is NOT defined by someone else. The way he treats you is a reflection of who he is as a person - not you. Don't take ownership of that! I understand that if you are a minor, setting healthy boundaries and refusing to accept this kind of treatment can be difficult. Reach out to others for help. But if you are 18 and over, there is absolutely no excuse for you to be there having to put up with maltreatment. Put up some boundaries and create the distance needed to protect yourself emotionally. You owe it to yourself, and deserve to live a healthy, happy life. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.
Question: I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac.    I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
   I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?
Counselor's response: It could be said that you might be the perfect candidate for counseling! No one is beyond hope, and someone brave enough to be honest regarding their struggles, with the intention of reaching out for help is certainly a person a qualified counselor would be happy to assist. You may want to do some research on therapists in your local area who specialize in mind-body connection, or one of the struggles you have acknowledged in your post, in order to find a therapist that is best suited to meet your needs. Good luck on your search, and remember that the world is a better place with you in it.
Question: What makes a healthy marriage last?
Counselor's response: This is a fantastic question. In one sentence, I would say the following:Recognize that while you and your partner probably have common interests and areas of commonality, you are separate people, each with different wants, wishes, and desires – if you consider a diagram of two overlapping circles, they may share perhaps a third of the circle with overlap to indicate commonality (could be more or less) and then there are parts of the circles that are not overlapping, indicating separate interestsAs for ways that may strengthen any relationship, even the great ones, this is what came to mind. There are certainly more specific unique answers or elements for different people as far as the details, but here are some general ideas:Try to have at least 15 minutes a week where you are spending time together and not problem-solvingRealize that listening to your partner does not mean that you are agreeing with them, it just means that you are saying that you hear where they are coming fromLearn to hold on to your own wants, wishes, and desires while also recognizing those of your partnerSet boundaries for what is and isn't acceptable behavior during an argument or difficult discussionDiscuss how having important discussions can be anxiety-producing and consider having an understanding that if one of you (or both of you) feels overwhelmed, you can take a timeout for a certain amount of time. For example, you may say "okay, I'm feeling really stressed about this right now. Let's discuss it in an hour." And at that time, go back to the discussionConsider what your partner's top three or four complaints about you may be. Check in with them and see how accurate you are. If you see validity in their responses, consider whether or not you may want to make changesDiscover what makes your partner feel loved, valued, appreciated, or specialRelationships are always in progress and constantly changing. Some anxiety around change is typical. Being able to effectively discuss the anxiety and actually listen to one another without being defensive, name calling, finger-pointing, or asking each other to change is a true gift.You may enjoy this quote: "Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment." ~Brene Brown
Question: My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic, silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry, but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn’t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?
Counselor's response: Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!
Question: My toddler defies everything I say and doesn’t see me as authoritative, so she says no about everything. I'd like to hear some ways I can work on not needing to feel so much in control all the time.
Counselor's response: Trust that you are a good mother and that you love your child.Trust and love are their own authority and come from a different inner place than the urge to be obeyed.Trust and love are effective guidance and usually feel happier and lighter too!
Question: Sometime when small thing happen, like losing a comb, I get furious.  I even start throwing things. Do I have a problem?
Counselor's response: Anyone who asks whether or not they have a problem, usually feels at least partly, that they do have a problem.Your answer to the question is what matters.Since you already understand that your reaction is overstated to the events which trigger them, the reactions you're having are more than likely anger that is leftover from past events, either in the near or distant past.Be aware, consider, reflect on  how you usually handle feeling angry.  Based on your description here, it is quite likely that the anger you show toward what you call "little things" reflect anger at much bigger matters that are uncomfortable and not easy to understand.Knowing more about the more significant matters causing frustration for you, may very likely decrease reacting angrily toward smaller matters.
Question: I just need to know if I'm really crazy or not.
Counselor's response: Do an internet research on psychosis symptoms and see if you have several of the symptoms.  If you do, seek a medical evaluation from your primary care physician.  There are great medications and psychotherapy that can help you live your life to the fullest.  There a many people who are diagnosed with psychosis and living a productive life.
Question: I think I'm annoying and bothersome, but my girlfriend says I'm just fine. I don't think so, I think I'm stressing everyone else out
Counselor's response: "Where you put your attention is where you will go". I forget who said this first, but it's very powerful. If all you think about and talk about is how annoying you think you might be, that will get annoying. Your intense self reflection is lovely; it will help you monitor yourself so that you're not affecting others negatively, but your alarm is going off too easily here and you risk having the opposite effect.You don't have to be perfect. She's with you, so she probably likes you as you are. She seems to put far less emphasis on your possibly annoying traits. We all have faults and if that's what we focus on, that's all we will see. My hunch is that your most annoying trait might be your negative self-talk. How ironic is that?There's another irony here...your goal is to be a better partner...but when you are self-critical, your focus is on you, not her. Every moment that fear grabs ahold of you is a moment that you're not being present in the actual relationship; you're gazing at your imagined faults. Fear steals your ability to focus on your loving partner. Maybe take a moment to image how she sees you...all of you. Put yourself in her shoes to see the entire you...how are you loving...thoughtful...a good partner? Confidence is a very attractive quality!
Question: When I'm around people, I sometimes think someone has made a comment to me or asked me to do something. I will be focusing on something else and then randomly think I hear something about me. I never know if it was actually said.
Counselor's response: It sounds like you are having difficulty knowing if people are saying things to you, or if you only thought someone was talking to you, and this is anxiety producing. It's understandable that it could be confusing and/or a bit scary to be unsure if people are speaking to you or not. It's hard to say exactly what is going on from just this description, but if you can work with a competent therapist, you may be able to get more insight into what is happening, get clarity about your social interactions, and develop some ways to deal with the anxiety.
Question: How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client?
Counselor's response: Hopefully both the client and counselor would together decide when to terminate counseling sessions. It's really helpful for the client to leave counseling with a solid sense of what he or she has accomplished in counseling, so it can be a good idea to spend some time acknowledging that in the last session or sessions. Sometimes, however, a client has needs beyond the scope of the counselor's expertise. That's a good time for a conversation about those needs and ideas of  how best to meet them, whether by adding in care with an additional mental health professional or transferring care entirely to a new mental health provider.
Question: I have an overwhelming desire to watch my wife have sex with another man. I talked to her about it, and she said she will do it for me. The idea excites me to no end, but I don’t want to because it disgusts me. How can I stop wanting it, or should I just give into it and do it? I’ve been struggling for years with this. It won’t go away. By the way, I am in my mid 30s and my wife is in her mid 40s.
Counselor's response: Try to understand your own ambivalence to having your wish fulfilled.Since you and your wife are in a relationship, the sex she will have with another man will affect emotions in both you and your wife.I suggest you and her prepare emotionally before you both go ahead with the sexual arrangement,By anticipating any jealousy or feeling helpless or out of control, or in control, since it's your wish being fulfilled, all the feelings you and her are able to expect, you'll be more prepared for the actual emotions from the episode, which may also resolve your conflicted feelings about creating the event.There are a lot of unknowns in the situation you're considering.  Having your partner, who will be key in satisfying your sex wish, be active in understanding these unknowns, is a good way of keeping your relationship strong overall.
Question: I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac.    I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
   I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?
Counselor's response: There are never "too many issues" to be addressed in therapy.  Most people come in with multiple issues they want to address.  The wonderful thing about therapy, is that often, as one or more significant issues begin to change and improve-   the lead naturally without much effort to improvements in the other areas.  (For example, as you begin to address trauma and betrayal from you past, you may find that the insomnia improves). Your therapist, with you input and direction, can help you to prioritize which problem areas to target first.
Question: I’m facing severe depression and anxiety and I just feel like I’m going through a lot. This really distracts me and I cant get my mind off the things that are bothering me.    How do I overcome this anxierty and depression?
Counselor's response: Life can bring us all kinds of struggles.   Depression and Anxiety are very common reasons people come into counseling.  Both can be debilitating.  Sometimes when life struggles and stresses build up anxiety and depression become prominent.  Learning tools to ride the waves  of life is a core part of counseling.  If you are ready to manage the symptoms and come up with a plan visit staceybshapiro.com for more information.