impamvu zirindwi zishobora kuba intandaro gutandukana kw’abashakanye
hari umuntu akora ubukwe ariko bigasa n’aho atabyumva neza ndetse bikaba bitamurimo asa n’utazi arimo nyuma y’igihe gito abanye n’uwo yakunze akifuza gutandukana ndetse igihe kikaba cyanagera gutandukana koko bigahabwa intebe hari umuntu akora ubukwe ariko bigasa n’aho atabyumva neza ndetse bikaba bitamurimo asa n’utazi arimo nyuma y’igihe gito abanye n’uwo yakunze akifuza gutandukana ndetse igihe kikaba cyanagera gutandukana koko bigahabwa intebe dr john gottman umuhanga bijyanye n’umubano n’imiryango bushakashatsi yakoze yagaragaje isi hose abashakanye bagera ijana myaka bakeneye gatanya n’ubwo atari bayibona n’ubwo barashakanye bagaragaza bakundana mu bushakashatsi bwe yerekana impamvu zishobora kugeza abantu kumva batagishaka kubana bagahitamo gutandukana guhorana intonganya kutavugana neza rugo rw’abashakanye kimwe bituma umwe bashakanye afata icyemezo gutana n’uwo babanaga kuko muntu wapfa kwihanganira mugenzi babana rugo uhora avuga nabi kuko abantu bashakanye bakeneye kugira ibyishimo rugo rwabo iyo umwe bashakanye akomeje kwihanganira intonganya zihora rugo igihe kiragera kwihangana kugashira akumva batandukana kutajya inama rugo iyo abantu babana batajya inama rugo rwabo bafate ingamba kurwubaka rugakomera ahubwo ibyemezo byose bigafatwa n’umuntu umwe usanga hari ubangamiwe bigasa nk’aho ntacyo amaze rugo akaba yatekereza gutandukana n’uwo bashakanye kuko abona bufatanye buri rugo kumva amabwire amagambo ashobora kwinjira rugo rw’abashakanye bakayaha umwanya ajya atuma umwe yumva azinutswe kubera abwirwa bitari byiza k’uwo babanaumuntu ukeneye kubakana n’uwo bashakanye kandi bakabana akaramata ntaba agomba kumva amabwire ayahe agaciro ibibazo buriri iyo abantu babana ntibashimishanye bikwiye buriri abenshi ntibabasha kubyihanganira kuko byishimo biba biri nkingi urugo ruba rwubakiyeho niyo mpamvu biba byiza kurushaho buri wese bashakanye yuzuza inshingano buriri kumena amabanga y’urugo akenshi umwe bashakanye agiye avuga mugenzi cyangwa amena amabanga y’urugo ntibyorohera kubyihanganira kuko ahita yumva yita bajya inama banga agira bigatuma yahitamo gutandukana kubwirana bakoze busore bwabo kubwira mubana imico itari myiza waba waragiraga mutarabana si byiza kuko ubimubwiye ntabyibagirwa ahubwo ahora akubonamo sura mbi mwavugana nabi gato akagira usubiye wahozemo rimwe rimwe akanabigucyurira bikaba byateza amakimbirane rugo arimo gutanduakana aha ariko bisaba kwitonda kuko gihe utekereza ashobora kuzamenya mafuti wakoze buto bwawe ibyiza wakwitanguranwa ukayamubwira ugahita utakamba ukamusaba imbabazi unamubwira wahindutse kandi ubyicuza kuko ayamenye warayamuhishe yarushaho kubibona nabi gushaka kwikubira abenshi bashakanye bakunze gupfa imitungo usanga umwe ashaka indonke giti cye akirengagiza bashakanye bigatuma haza umwuka mubi rugo kuko umwe atitaye wundi abashakanye ntibaba bakwiye gutandukanwa n’ibintu nk’ibi gihe babanye bakundana by’ukuri kuko akenshi barasezeranye kuzabana akaramata niyo mpanvu bagomba kwihanganirana byose kandi bakubakira n’ibiganiro bitagenda neza bagasasa inzobe bakabicoca bigakemuka umunezero ukarushaho gutemba rugo rwabo