mbese umugabo atera umugore gusambana ate
umuhanga witwa dr john gottman bijyanye n’umubano n’imiryango bushakashatsi yakoze yagaragaje isi hose abashakanye bagera ijana myaka bakeneye gatanya n’ubwo atari bayibona n’ubwo barashakanye bagaragaza bakundana yesu yavuze umuntu wese usenda umugore atamuhora gusambana amuteye gusambana ibi none bituma twumva atashyiragaho itegeko rishya rigenga kongera gushaka ahubwo yahishuraga gusa ukuri byerekeye icyaha cy’umugabo usenda umugore mpamvu ifatika aba amuteye gusambana bamwe bavuga yesu yategekaga mugore atongera gushaka kuko yavuze byaba bibaye ubusambanyi ariko shingiro hano yesu ashimangira icyaha cy’umugabo usenda umugore bitewe n’ibyo akoze umugore kindi azakora uretse gushaka mugabo kandi rwe ruhande cyaha azaba akoze kuko azize gusa kwikunda k’umugabo nyamara mana kuko mugabo atereranye umugore bigatuma kindi yakora uretse gushaka mugabo nk’aho yakohereje umugore gahato kujya kuryamana n’undi mugabo nuko uwibwiraga busambanyi yakoze ahubwo akaba abarwaho icyaha kabiri icyaha cye n’icy’umugore yesu ntabwo yavugaga imana ibara icyaha mugore wahohotewe kuko byaba ukumurenganya kandi by’ukuri ntacyo byaba bivuze mugore w’inzirakarengane agumye ntiyongere gushaka imana se kuvuga ite umusambanyi atongeye gushaka ntacyo byaba bivuze gato nuko imana ibara mugabo ubusambanyi bwe ikamubaraho n’ ubusambanyi bw’umugore by’ukuri si ubusambanyi mba ni ukongera gushaka byemewe n’amategeko hanyuma se twavuga magambo yesu akurikiraho kandi uzacyura uwasenzwe azaba asambanye hari ibintu bibiri gusa bishoboka byagira byumvikanye kimwe yesu yabaraga icyaha ubwa gatatu mugabo wibwira busambanyi yakoze bitewe n’ubundi mpamvu zatumye akimubaraho kabiri ikindi gishoboka yesu yavugaga umugabo waba woheje umugore ate umugabo amwishakire bigaragare busambanyi yakoze niba yesu yaravugaga umugabo wese isi urongoye umugore wasenzwe asambanye noneho buri mugabo w’umuyisirayeli wese myaka magana ane mbere yaho warongoye umugore wasenzwe nk’uko amategeko mose yabyemeraga yakoze icyaha cy’ubusambanyi mu by’ukuri abagabo iryo teraniro bafite abagore bacyuye barasenzwe n’abandi bagabo nk’uko amategeko mose yabibemereraga ako kanya bahise bagibwaho n’icyaha kitari kibariho umunota umwe mbere yaho kandi yesu agomba kuba ho agihindura amategeko y’imana kandi uhereye ukuvuga umuntu wese uzajya ashaka uwatandukanye n’uwo bashakanye yizeye amagambo pawulo rwandiko yandikiye abakorinto avuga atari icyaha azaba akoze icyaha cy’ubusambanyi umwuka ugize bibiliya wantera gushima umugabo washatse umugore wasenzwe n’umugabo niba umugore wahohotewe n’umugabo mbere kubera kwikunda kwe mugabo namushima nk’uko nashima urongora umupfakazi akamwitaho akamufasha uwo mugore abaye hari amakosa yakoze gutandukana n’umugabo mbere mugabo umucyuye namushimira umutima ushushanywa n’uwa kristo kwizera mugore azaba mwiza akibagirwa ibyahise kandi akemera gusa n’uwigerezaho ni nde muntu wasomye bibiliya kandi akaba afite umwuka wera ushobora kuvuga yesu yabuzaga umuntu wese kuzashaka umuntu wese watandukanye n’uwo bashakanye mbese bihurira he kudaca urwa kibera kw’imana kutabera kudashobora guhana umuntu kubera yahohotewe nk’uko bimeze mugore wasenzwe azira ubusa mbese igitekerezo nk’icyo gihurira he n’ubutumwa bwiza butanga imbabazi n’andi mahirwe munyabyaha wihannye bibiliya ikomeza kuvuga buri gihe habaye gutandukana kw’abashakanye haba hari uwakoze icyaha cyangwa bombi bakaba bafitemo uruhare ntabwo imana yigeze ishaka hari uwatandukana n’uwo bashakanye ariko mbabazi zayo yemeye gihe habaye ubusambanyi umuntu yatandukana n’uwo bashakanye kandi mbabazi zayo yemeye igihe habaye gutandukana kw’abashakanye bashobora kongera gushaka iyo ataba amagambo yesu yavuze byerekeye kongera gushaka n’umwe wasoma bibiliya yigere atekereza kongera gushaka icyaha uretse nk’ahantu habiri gusa isezerano rya kera n’ahandi hamwe rishya urugero nk’umukristo utandukana n’undi mukristo bashakanye akongera agashaka ariko hari uburyo bwumvikana twabonye guhuza yesu yavuze kongera gushaka n’ibyo ibindi byanditswe bibiliya bisigaye bivuga yesu ntiyarimo asimbuza amategeko y’imana yerekeye kongera gusha ayandi akaze kuyarusha abuza umuntu kongera gushaka rimwe amategeko adashoboka kubahirizwa bantu bamaze gutandukana n’abo bashakanye bakongera gushaka nko gusubiranya igi ryamenetse kandi amategeko nk’ayo yatera urujijo akaba yatuma abantu bica andi mategeko y’imana ahubwo yesu yafashaga abantu gusobanukirwa uburyarya bwabo yafashaga abibwiraga badashobora gusambana kumenya ahubwo bakora ubusambanyi bundi buryo buryo bw’irari ryabo gusenda abagore bishakiye kose nk’uko bibiliya yakabaye yigisha umunyabyaha wihannye ababarirwa icyaha cyose kandi agahabwa amahirwe kabiri n’aya gatatu n’abatandukanye n’abo bashakanye barimo mu isezerano rishya cyaha kiri kongera gushaka kose uretse gusa umukristo watandukanye n’umukristokazi ikintu kitari gikwiriye kubaho kuko abizera nyakuri badasambana mpamvu igaragara gutandukana biramutse bibayeho bagatandukana bombi bagomba kugumira batongeye gushaka cyangwa bakiyunga bagasubirana yanditswe niyomugabomuhaburarw