We arrived after a cross-country trip to a house that was stifling hot and filthy dirty and had not been opened for us, arriving to Portland to stay for a full two months. The smell wafting from the basement where scores of paint cans are stored was only the beginning. The windows were so dirty it was a joke. The light fixture in both bedrooms is a bare bulb -- not kidding -- and a little desk lamp from someone's dorm room. The closets have no standard lights, so trying to find anything at night was impossible. There is no dresser in what is laughably the Master Bedroom, so you have to use shelves in the closet -- my husband had to keep his clothes in the adjacent dining room. The much touted yard was adorned with broken down furniture, chairs without seats, unusable tables. The yard was overgrown and barely mowed. Our host was defensive, invasive, overbearing, sorely lacking in social skills and clearly not used to dealing with people.