The single worst lodging experience I've had.
First, and most egregious: the hot tub (i.e. the reason we booked this place) was covered in ants, so you could not sit along the edge without being crawled upon.
Second, it's just very poor value. A single night was almost $250, and everything inside the place was as cheap as possible. Single ply toilet paper, very thin and tiny old towels, the cheap TV WAS BOLTED DOWN. NO ONE WANTS YOUR WEIRD, OFF BRAND TV.
Third, and I get that this is optional, but the check out time is 10a. This was a little staycation, and I asked for a late check-out and they said no because they needed time to prep for their 4 PM (I'm trying to caps lock again here) check in. I'm sorry, but no. Luckily (???), the bed was so uncomfortable that we just went home after tossing and turning for a couple of hours and got to sleep in.
Fourth, it's just soulless inside. The only decor in here is bad art that the hosts try to sell you.
This was just terrible. Go to a hotel, I wish I had.