Robin offered me 250 euros not to write this review. But the experience at this aging and poorly maintained property - despite a nice location and views - was frustrating enough that I'd prefer to write. Here's my unvarnished experience:
We arrived to find the grounds littered with debris, including weeks-old newspaper. A dead and dried out tree sat in one of the driveways. The plants had been dropping petals, needles, berries, and other bits on the paths for weeks with what seemed like no cleanup whatsoever.
Perhaps most bizarre were the numerous hoses - sometimes just random lengths of rubber tubing roughly chopped off with no nozzle at the end - lying uncoiled across paths and open spaces. The top deck - otherwise a beautiful spot - was bizarrely furnished with a filthy, cheap plastic table, 10 feet of hose(?!), and nothing else.
The non-air-conditioned bedrooms were swelteringly hot and were missing at least one fan (the only ceiling fan is outside on the deck - take note). I asked by text about the issue because it was too hot to sleep without a fan. In response, the caretaker (who wasn't there at check in) said he'd answered too many questions that day and stopped responding.
My prior "high maintenance" questions: where is the laundry (actually quite difficult)? are there replacement bulbs for the multiple burned out lights? where do we take out the trash?
The promised soap/shampoo weren't in the showers, and Robin's response to this was to wonder why we even wanted them (because most people don't? there aren't always stores open nearby!) Also, the other guest's complaint about the difficult shower controls is correct. But Robin speculated that I was a weakling or possibly disabled - yes, really - when I told him this remained an issue.
Also be aware that the house has old, rusty security gates over every entry, and there were no labeled keys for them - after you check in (with nobody there to greet you), you get to spend 30+ minutes searching for and finding random unlabeled keys, and then wrestling with rusty and sticky latches. When you finally open the gates, you'll find grime and dirt all around the doorways because of inadequate cleaning.
These issues aren't hard to address (and I have more that I've omitted to save space). They could all be fixed with a small additional amount of regular maintenance, whether a weekly cleanup or a quick sweep of the garden paths between guests. But unfortunately that's not the approach the host takes. And he is quite hostile to any suggestion things should be improved.
Bottom line: This is a dated family vacation home that is in real need of loving care. With the right expectations you can have a great time. I just wouldn't pay more than 4-500 EUR/night for it all-in, as it is not maintained in line with other places in Mallorca that charge comparable rates.