List of things that worked: our creativity in finding ways to avoid being at this awful airbnb.
Things that didn't work:
-Wifi, which also means that the smart tv in the unit becomes a dumb tv.
-Hot water- this is great if you're into the cold plunge craze, but not for anyone trying to shower in one of the bathrooms
-The toaster. "Low and slow" is great advice for Texas BBQ, but not so much for your toast or bagels in the morning
-The coffee machine.
-The air conditioning smelled like a raccoon crawled up there and died every time we turned it on
-Any sort of function or gathering of more than 4 people. Make sure to tell them to bring their own plates, cups, and silverware as only 4 sets of everything are provided.