POTENTIALLY UNSTABLE HOST
Now that I have your attention, I’ll just get right down to it. Calvit Ratcliffe is truly the WORST kind of host. He’s unprofessional, shockingly disrespectful, and just an angry, sad man. Fellow travelers, read on and be warned.
Upon arriving at Calvit’s Airbnb, I noticed there was good amount of actual, scrape-off-able mold growing in the shower, which is universally considered to be gross and unsanitary. (Side note: To the shower's credit, it did attempt a gesture of remorseful goodwill by presenting me with a well-traveled bar of soap. I say well-traveled because I could see that the soap really had grit, and its creased, weathered skin told a tale of sweaty days and cramped nights spent deep in the thickest forests and dankest crevasses of an untamed human landscape. Either that or this soap just smoked a lot of cigarettes, because the apartment sure smelled like it.) Anyway, I promptly and respectfully notified Calvit of the shower mold issue, at which point he proceeded to lose his mind.
These next little nuggets are verbatim quotes, copied from Calvit’s correspondence and pasted here for your enjoyment/horror/caution.
- "What are you, a health inspector?" - Calvit, after I explained to him that it was actually mold.
- “It’s obvious that you are one of those people who can’t be satisfied.” - Calvit Ratcliffe, master of deflection.
- “Fine, sorry about the d@mn shower but it ain’t gonna kill you, geez.” - Calvit Ratcliffe
- “One other person has maybe complained about the shower, but no one has bltched about it the way you are doing.” - Calvit Ratcliffe
- “I’m done with this conversation. You can clean it yourself.” - Calvit Ratcliffe
…aaand, my personal favorite:
- "Take the $25 and shove it directly up your fat a$$." - Calvit Ratcliffe, insurance agent extraordinaire, via Airbnb’s messaging platform, completely unsolicited, after Airbnb so generously refunded me $25 of the several hundred I flushed down the human drain.
In all seriousness, you shouldn’t stay here. While nothing Calvit said was threatening, you either have to be a complete fool or at least semi-crazy to be so careless with words in the small town that is Nashville. As a result, his brazen hostility gave me reason to be concerned for my belongings while I wasn’t on-premise, and mildly concerned for my own safety while I was. Even without this dismal host, the home itself would simply be another subpar, lackluster rental among the many gems in Nashville’s thriving Airbnb community. With Calvit at the helm, however, this tiny ship sinks straight to the bottom of the barrel. Don’t go down with it!