I don’t know where to start. I walked in the door, eyes heavy, legs stiff, with hopes of going straight to bed. However I choose my room, put down my bags, walk over to the bed, and I saw the most despicable thing on what was supposed to be a freshly made bed... A HAIR! I begin to inspect the rest of the room, long story short there were chips crumbs in the carpet. Also hair all over the rest of the bed, and might I add all the hair was a different color and texture. There was piss all over the bathroom floor, so I guess you could say this pissed me off. I made my boyfriend clean it up, he then got pissed off with me.
While he cleaned the forsaken piss, I proceeded to inspect the rest of the apartment. I walk in the living room and you’ll never guess what I discovered...A HAIR! I also found more of what I presumed to be Doritos from the bed and dust bunnies. Luckily I found a candle under the sink to take away the OVERPOWERING miasma of what I believe to be marijuana.
Needless to say the cleanliness of your establishment is why I declare this apartment highly inadequate.
Signed: A Mad Black Woman & Her Pissed Off Mixed Boyfriend