If Norman Bates and the Crypt Keeper teamed up to host an Airbnb this would be it. It's the kind of place where you feel like you need to scrub your skin off after spending the night there.
If you read no further here's the TLDR. Do. Not. Stay. Here.
Pros:
1. The neighbourhood is really nice. Beautiful houses, tree lined streets and close to loads of bars and restaurants. Also feels very safe walking around at night.
2. The check-in was super easy. One PIN code on the deadbolt and you're in
Cons from the top:
1. The listing indicates there are four beds on site. There are not. There are two beds, one mattress which was leaning up against the wall and two VERY questionable looking sofa beds. The only place to easily put the mattress is literally inside the kitchen. The sofa beds are so sketchy looking we were scared to fold them out, so just slept very uncomfortably on top of them. Also they can't be folded out without moving the furniture around.
2. Upon booking you will receive a laundry list of tersely worded "house rules". This is fine, but we took exception with a few of them. Firstly, the host indicates that changing the thermostat in any way will result in a $50 fine. Call me old fashioned, but when I rent a place I tend to assume I also rent the right for that place to be at whatever temperature I find comfortable. Not whatever temperature the host considers most cost effective. Secondly, the host requests that guests kindly remove their shoes to protect the "hardwood floors". There are no hardwood floors. There are cheap laminated floating floorboards; and they are already separated, scratched and peeling. Also the place is disgusting, nobody in their right mind would walk around with their shoes off if it were at all avoidable. Thirdly, the rules indicate that smoking will be dealt with harshly and fined accordingly. No worries, nobody wants cigarette smoke and ash through their place. But the entrance is littered with old cigarette butts EVERYWHERE.
3. Upon arriving the beds were not made, and the sheets were not fresh. We slept on top of the sheets for fear of what might be lurking under them.
4. There was a dirty towel on the bathroom floor
5. Some of the power points on the walls were literally falling off
6. There is no exhaust fan, or window, in the bathroom. In most jurisdictions this is illegal because you can, y'know, pass out and die from the excess steam. Not the mention the fact it makes it impossible to use the mirror and causes mildew (see item 12)
7. The TV is so old that it doesn't have a HDMI input, so you can't connect a device to watch video, Netflix, HBO etc.; and
8. The BD player does theoretically allow you to watch Netflix, but there were no batteries in the remote; and
9. When we put batteries in the remote it didn't work anyway. So no Netflix and chill at this place. This is in a country where a 4K smart TV can be had for less than $300 at Walmart; and
10. The cable decoder doesn't work either
11. The furniture all looks like it was picked up from the road side or a trash heap. There's an arm chair where both arms are broken off and just hanging by the fabric, the sofas are collapsed and sagging in the middle and the beds are disgusting. Everything appears to have come from grandma's house, after grandma died and nobody noticed for 2 years
12. There is mould, mildew and peeling paint everywhere
13. A significant number of the lights are out
14. One of the power points in the kitchen just doesn't work at all
15. When the listing says the location is convenient/close to the train line, it understates just how very close to the train line it is. Upon parking out the back the first thing that one is greeted with is the thundering roar of trains passing overhead and it can easily be heard inside the unit. Light sleepers beware.
16. There are spiders inside
Lest anybody thinking we are being prissy, we had literally spent the previous week sleeping on camp beds in the basement of a friend-of-a-friend. Upon check-out we all agreed that we missed the basement. We were looking for a comfortable night before we flew out the following day. Needless to say we regretted that decision. If our reservation had been for more than one night we would have left immediately and found somewhere else.