Look, there are a million of these little closet-condos in Waikiki, so you may want to choose a different one. Young frat boys who are just here to drink and pass out — fine. If that’s not you, here are my gripes: Filthy smudges all over the fridge and inside had gross and white gunk…obviously hadn’t been cleaned proper in a very long time. Gross black bits all over the back of the toilet and the cupboard had melted peanut butter that looked 100 years old. Seriously, who would eat that! Botulism 101, people. The bed, though, was the WORST. Noisy plastic sheet (for drunk kids, I guess), plus the mattress was cheap and lumpy, complete with big stains. The “ocean view” is only a tiny porthole…think Alcatraz. The good news: Not one cockroach — yeeeee! Which is very surprising considering the aforementioned peanut butter and just the overall grossness of this place. Chris *did* say I could cancel, but I just got out of surgery so couldn’t take a chance on damaging my leg. Hard pass.