Our remaining attempts to barricade the doors eventually proved unsuccessful due to the many, floor to ceiling, sliding glass doors that allowed for the sweeping, panoramic views that inspired our ill-fated scheme to stage a mutiny against our former lives in Seattle and live out our remaining days in the most gorgeously perfect, pristine pool house up in the equally divine Malibu hills.
While we likely could have survived a few more days off the luscious avocado and citrus trees in the yard, our reserves of coffee, kombucha and IPA were running desperately low—reason eventually prevailed and we (insert soft sobbing sounds here) left before an eventual caffeine withdrawal consumed us or the police had to forcibly ‘escort’ us off the premises… *sigh*