This was the worst experience. I was excited for what I THOUGHT was a safe, PRIVATE space to celebrate my birthday. What I got was a unit in a fishbowl; surrounded by the host’s family. I personally believe they have some implicit biases about people like me, and this made my stay untenable.
From the moment I arrived, the host’s mother was checking my credentials to see if I was in the right place. Running down the rules. I didn’t think too much of it, until I made the mistake of having dinner with my three sisters on the second night, and losing track of time. Once the matter was brought to our attention; we apologized, called to have their husbands come and take them home, and we quieted down! But from then on, I WAS harassed and surveilled (literally! They put a phone in the window!) and offered multiple suggestions that sheriffs and and reservation cancellation could be in play, if I didn’t tighten up my behavior. It caused so much anxiety that my family came to pack me up and check me out early, the next day.
Aside from losing track of time at dinner with my sisters, I did my best follow rules (and do better where I misstepped!). Regardless, I was constantly accused of being a rowdy and disruptive guest, even though I felt I had gone above and beyond to show grace (for the construction, and the family wandering through, the man in a hazmat working underneath my deck!).
This notion of me being rowdy is mostly because this unit is not actually big enough (or sound proofed!) for four people! So even though we were trying things like splitting up the way my family could celebrate me so we didn’t exceed the max unit occupancy and playing music on my phone at 50%; you could still hear the tiniest pin drop, amplified like a truck horn! This did not help on that second night, when my sisters gave me a gift to honor the 10-year anniversary of my dad’s passing, and the emotional reaction was somehow loud enough for them to think we were downstairs throwing a rager, and not drinking wine and painting like old aunties!
I was done when the host’s mother came and yelled at me because I was heating up food, and the smoke detector (less than 5 feet away from the stove?!) kept going off! She called me disrespectful and yelled at me for waking up her sick grandson. I then got into an hour long conversation with the host, which was only defused because my light-skinned, older Aunt (a contractor and developer with 30+ yrs experience) observed one of her confrontations while dropping off a gift, pointed out that the fire alarm was not my fault, and helped defuse the situation so they both would stop verbally attacking me, and listen.
When they saw I discovered the camera phone literally proving that they were surveilling me; the owner came down with a bottle of wine and made an apology that I hope will inspire a change in behavior when he and his proxy representatives interact with future guests. I still did not feel comfortable staying. This ruined my birthday. I’ve been in a heightened state of depression and anxiety, since.
If you DON’T intend to have PRIVACY, cook, have groceries delivered to minimize exposure to this complex in a pandemic, or have any issues with being in a semi-private space that is only comfortable for certain types of people? Book it. It’s a beautiful and well-kept space. You’ll be supporting a family business run by folks who deserve the opportunity to grow in continuous learning around race, gender, and customer service.
However, I have to still honor my experience! And be transparent that I don’t think that AT THE TIME OF MY RSVP?! This space is for people like me. But I see the vision for their business, and I really hope that changes.