1. After buzzing us in, you made us wait in the hallway for ten minutes while you took a call.
2. The bedroom window was broken, you said it would be fixed, it was not.
3. The amenities included access to a wardrobe, yours was wrapped in chains and a padlock.
4. You said you wouldn't wake us up, you woke us at 1.53am and again at 7am slamming doors and making noise.
5. We came home to find you drunk and in a skimpy dressing gown, making awkward small talk about money.
6. You asked us, your guests, to vacate between 5pm and 9pm so that you could bring someone over to your flat for a date.
7. You left your lounge TV and your bedroom TV on max volume, blaringly loud that we could not sleep nor relax, to the point my husband had to find the remote to turn it down himself, as you were not available.
8. The ad states breakfast provided. It was not.
9. You made us feel so incredibly uncomfortable that we cancelled our second night and will not return to your abode again.