From the first moment, I was truly never welcome here. I am so incredibly sorry I chose this place to spend my time off, I could have done better at a hostel.

Jeanet simply couldn’t be put out to do common, basic courtesies like letting another person know how to get the keys in advance, and she resented having another person’s presence there. I can tell you now that she truly didn’t want to share her living space with another human being. She really just wanted the money.

There are many things I do wrong, and after this vacation, thanks to Jeanet, I now know what they are. A few examples include: disturbing the Order of The Cushions on the couch when sitting on it. (They take up the back half of the sitting space, I had taken two so I could have space to sit and put them perpendicular to the back, that is, along the arm to lean on.) Those must be replaced in exactly the order they were in. I also clean my own coffepot wrong (you need to understand, Jeanet doesn’t even drink coffee, much less does she have a coffeepot of her own to wash.) And I fail to remember that the correct position of the toilet’s lid is down, after each and every time it is used.

At about the four week mark, or half way through, Jeanet felt that I should be supplying the house with toilet paper. “Guests” are not to disturb anything in the ‘common’ space, but should be doing half of the house cleaning on Saturdays and buying the toilet paper.

To describe the house: it is so small you will get bruises moving through it. In order to have natural light in the kitchen, the shutter to the window must be open and you’re going to get a sharp wooden corner in your back when you open the fridge. There are other places that are more difficult to describe. The shower is so small that if you are lucky, when you turn inside it, you will only turn off the water. If you are unlucky, you will scald yourself. If you try to adjust the water before you are under the shower, it will come out the door. All of this is if Jeanet hasn’t showered first, because the hot water tank is small, it has about 10 minutes of warm water at a very weak force. The use of the word ‘carina’ (or cute) to describe the room is funny: it’s a plain matteress in a plain white room with barely a window, the pillows in the photograph have their specific places on the couch and that is it.

For Jeanet, I can only wish her a similar experience for her next 8 weeks of vacation, while spending a great deal of money to be there.