tl;dr; (fb fpf) Overpriced filthy little dump without Wi-Fi and constant buzz/hum in slightly overrated location.
While the flat’s cleanliness issues something can be done about - if only the host cared for basic hygiene, that is - the fat AC air duct creeping up the inner courtyard wall (the flat faces that closed courtyard only) from the ground floor to the roof causing constant buzzing/humming and vibration 24/7 is not so easily dealt with. At least closing the windows doesn't help.
Not for the faint of heart:
The worst Airbnb or bcom experience of the recent years. A nearby parking lot (Indigo Place St Michel) offering a discount of 30% and the free cancellation option is why we ended up booking this sorry place. The owner would qualify for an abundant usage of politically incorrect expressions, but suffice it to say she doesn't respond well to criticism she herself is asking for, the last lines of defence being "nobody's perfect", plus the usual commonplace "nobody else ever complained", “sorry, but…” and similarly unbelievably inept stuff. She also possesses the enviable chutzpah to blame her guests for booking her filthy apartment, since we should have been warned that 4,3 on the cleanliness scale might not meet our standards. She was bothering us with private messages after we left, too: one, in which she was regarding it as a personal triumph that she didn’t have to reimburse us (she would have had, though, if I had contacted Airbnb within the first 24 hours), and another one containing a slur. That was a first on any platform so far. Well, having paid 294€ for two nights (the parking fee is not included here), I think it's perfectly understandable not to expect to find at least some of the following things: used toothbrushes in a dirty holder, a dirty toothbrush under the shower, an used shaver under the shower, hair everywhere in the bathroom, used combs, masks, hair ribbons on the bathroom and kitchen floor, garbage in the kitchen, waste on the floor in every room, dirty coffee cup in the place beside the sink where you usually put cleaned dishes, a washing machine full of dirty laundry, a fridge filled to the brim with half-eaten, half rotten stuff, moulded sponges, filthy coffee machine, half-eaten little breads in a paper bag on top of a dirty cooker, staines on practically every surface (vertical, horizontal, tiles, tables, floor, mirror, fridge, everywhere in the kitchen), hair on the floor in the bedroom, blood-stained pillows, cigarette stench, cigarette stumps in a mug or a little flower vase on the window sill, personal stuff lying around everywhere and occupying every available space where one would usually hope to be able to put some of one’s own stuff, stale stench in the bathroom coming from the toilet… I could go on. And if that wasn’t enough you find yourself enveloped in cheap cheese aroma as soon as you step out onto the street, because there’s a cheese fondue joint just a few metres away from the entrance :D My girlfriend didn’t even use the provided linens, but fortunately we had our own pillows and duvets. I regret dearly that I didn’t react quickly enough to qualify for reimbursement by the host. Thank god we made some photos at least. I wasn’t really prepared for such a mess and, frankly, not on my guard when we checked in under the subtle pressure the host cunningly created (open door, open windows, male companion waiting outside holding the lift door). Fortunately, we were lucky with the weather and spent most of the time outside.
I was even willing to let sleeping dogs lie initially and just bite the bullet and say we were unlucky on the last two nights of our otherwise great vacation, had the host not enquired if there was anything wrong on the evening before our departure. And had I not made the mistake of telling them, after longer deliberation, that, yes, indeed, there were some major issues with the cleanliness or rather the complete lack thereof. It was the insolent behaviour that followed that made me contact the Airbnb support and to write this short essay you're enjoying reading so much now.
Let’s end this review on a slightly funnier note, though: upon our arrival the host welcomed us to use - and eat - everything we find. Maybe we should have been alarmed, but I only raised a tired eyebrow after a six hour drive from Saint-Malo and said, sheepishly: thanks, that's nice. Or maybe we should have used the dirty toothbrushes and cleaned the place for her after we were finished with the leftovers?! Well, we didn’t dare - for health considerations and other reasons like, for example, that it’s not in our habit to feast on the rotten leftovers of total strangers. In the two days we were caught inside this dirty trap we were only using two glasses we carefully and repeatedly cleaned with our own hands and dried with our own paper towels and using our own cutlery. We didn’t unpack, either, since there was no place to put our things. That was kinda funny, I can tell you. Also, on the day of our arrival, the host texted us while we were almost standing in front of the entrance to call her as soon as we’d be standing in front of the entrance. We did that a minute later, standing in front of the closed entrance, only to be redirected to her voice box, because she didn't bother to pick up. Maybe the five minutes we were waiting for her to react to the call while we were standing in front of the entrance in fumes of melting cheese were the exact five minutes when she actually did use the vacuum cleaner? Maybe. Maybe not. We'll never know..
What we do know, though, is that the booking for the night before had been cancelled by the guests, which means that the