When booking budget accommodations at the last minute, it is important to pay attention to every word of a listing description. Previous reviews on this listing oddly did not mention its major flaw. When booking at a low price point and short lead time, some travelers may be less bothered by aspects of a stay than others would be.
Unfortunately, for my own expectations, Parham Plaza Hotel could make you hate Ambergris Caye and never ever want to return. While the description does say that the room faces middle street (A fact I sadly missed before booking), it doesn't mention for the unknowing traveler that this is the busiest street in downtown San Pedro upon which nearly all southbound island traffic has to pass: motorized, clanking golf carts, tractors, heavy machinery and trucks thunder down the cobblestone street ten feet from your door and window with a thin open wrought iron fence between you and the traffic. The cacophony of noise and the shaking of the room is incessant; earplugs do nothing to help. It is like trying to sleep in a ripped open tent in the middle of a highway intersection at rush hour during a thunderstorm with a family of gassy grizzly bears. Downtime, peace and quiet are impossible, except maybe in the shower with the water running at 3am. Horrible, awful, terrible: a complete loss and waste of a week of my life, my vacation, a plane trip, passport, time off, my sanity, and all the money I spent - all because Parham Plaza obliterated any possibility of a good experience. I cannot believe the owner/operator of this hotel is brave enough to create such an atrocity. Do not stay here, it will completely and totally ruin any thought you had of a vacation. I tried to upgrade to any other room, but none were available. I could not wait to leave Belize to find some relaxation anywhere else! An airport, train or bus station would be more peaceful. San Pedro may have been a charming sleepy town in the last millennium, but now is a bustling breaking-down-golf-cart dirty remote confined metropolis - a press of humanity on all sides. From the pictures I thought (hoped!) that there would be some beach/ocean view from the room given that this island is only 4 blocks wide, but there is not. In my opinion, this "room" should not be used for lodging - it is an inconsiderate money grab and abuse of trust. The space is appropriate for daytime retail, storage, a place to punish bad staff, or as a torture chamber for the local police. Guest lodging? Absolutely not! Stay anywhere else but here. Otherwise...
Likes: Excellent, comfortable, pneumatic office chair and desk - best chair I've ever had in any rented room - perfect for remote work! Decently firm bed, comfortably firm pillows. A/C worked very well and was much appreciated. WiFi was inconsistent 3-45 Mbps - sometimes the speed was great, other times terrible, which is not ideal for a digital nomad - some days I could not work at all. Cable TV had several English channels (that I didn't use, but an HDMI cord and input that I did). Well equipped kitchen with a propane stove and oven, toaster, microwave and mini coffee maker were great. Tile-top tables and stools were in good condition. A starting liter of bottled water, oil/salt/pepper/coffee/sugar, soap and shampoo provided, thank you! Housekeeping every other day if desired was quite nice. The building's open 3rd floor had a nice sitting area and one hammock to look out in the general direction of the ocean.
Dislikes: Insurmountable endless noise makes rest impossible except for a few hours late at night. Luckily I was there during a temporary Covid Curfew situation so there was a reprieve from the sonic onslaught from 11:06pm to 5:43am on weekdays (1am to 5:38am on weekends). Non-breathing, plasticky pillows felt good at first until you woke up in the middle of the night with a sweaty face. Propane stove would not light unless you had matches or lighter (none provided). 2 pans (a very thin/burning saute pan and a 4 quart saucepan) in kitchen, and no veg peeler (but DID have a wine opener!) were a little minimalist. Mini-fridge missing a shelf makes self catering more difficult. Chairs outside room pictured in the listing do not exist. No hangers for clothes. No one in office upon arrival /no instructions provided in advance on how to check in (but fast response when messaging through the app, thank you!).