Forum: ell.stackexchange.com
Tags: <word-request><ambiguity>
Title: How should I refer to a friend who is a girl but not a girlfriend?
Question: When I'm talking about my friend, who is a girl, but not a girlfriend, what word or phrase should I use? If the gender was unimportant, it would not be a problem. But if I want to note that the friend is female, not male, how should I say that, to avoid ambiguity?

Answers:
sents: text: There's nothing in the language that requires you to characterize with a noun.
text: You can frame your discourse much less awkwardly with constructions like: My friend Sidney?
text: she'll be there, too ...
text: I have a friend, Sidney, her command of English
text: is amazing ...
text: There's this girl, Sidney, friend of mine from school ...
text: You know my friend Sidney, Ed's little sister ...
text: My friend Sidney's pregnant ... Talk about the person, not the role, and Great Mother English will take care of you.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/32/StoneyB on hiatus
score: 152
sents: text: My female friend is a perfectly acceptable and understandable way of putting it.
text: A slightly more awkward phrasing that I have also heard is
text: My friend, who is a girl... .
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/33/waiwai933
score: 121
sents: text: In written English, you could use girl friend rather than girlfriend .
text: According to Wiktionary, the former means a female friend, whereas the latter means a female partner.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/54/Andrew Grimm
score: 50
sents: text: If you are a male, the phrase "female friend" works.
text: If you are a female, the phrase "girlfriend" is actually acceptable, though somewhat uncommon depending on region.
text: But English speakers tend to be unspecific unless the conversation requires you to specify your friend's gender.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/53/Ken Bellows
score: 30
sents: text: Probably the easiest and simplest way is to just call her your friend and refer to her with a female pronoun.
text: For example, "My friend Sidney is helping me move.
text: She'll be here in an hour.
text: " "Female friend" or "girl friend" is grammatically correct, but it calls a lot more attention to gender, which can be awkward.
text: (If you talk about your male friends as "friends" and your female friends as "female friends," it implies that they're somehow a different kind of friend because they're female.)
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/119/Kelly Tessena Keck
score: 21
sents: text: You might say "my friend <her name>", if her name is unambiguously female.
text: That avoids the problem without being specific about her gender.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/39/barbara beeton
score: 15
sents: text: It's not unusual in this situation to dispel ambiguity by further specifying the origin or current context of your friendship.
text: This can be done with a simple compound of the context and the word friend (alternatively, 'partner' or possibly 'buddy' -
text: although this is more commonly applied to men).
text: Examples: family-friend school-friend drinking-buddy bridge-partner
text: If you wish to make gender obvious, then it's best to use a pronoun to do this.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/5446/bruised reed
score: 12
sents: text: My platonic lady friend.
text: This states that you are just friends.
text: Platonic says your just friends and avoids lady/female friend being interpreted improperly.
text: As suggested by J.R. as well, you can say: She's a platonic friend.
text: Here gender is shown by the pronoun she.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/67/Mark Robinson
score: 10
sents: text: If it's just some girl you know, try: A friend of mine, her name is Hildegart.... or:
text: Hildegart, a friend of mine... if it's your girl, use: My girlfriend Hildegart is giving the ...
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/2109/ost as a guest
score: 5
sents: text: A friend who is a girl may be either "a girl friend" or "a girlfriend" .
text: Girlfriend - sex = girl friend.
text: Girl friend :-
text: It means there is an empty space for someone more special.
text: Girlfriend :
text: - It means there is no space for someone else to be more important.
text: The same explanation occurs with 'boy friend' and 'boyfriend' .
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/114137/Sandip Kumar Mandal
score: 0

Summary of the answers:
If a distinction has to be made, you could say "female friend", " or simply "friend" followed by her name or a female pronoun. "My platonic lady friend" has also been suggested. Girl friend could also be used, but may be ambiguous in spoken English.
You can refer to them as your female friend and use female pronouns, or use 'girl friend', 'female friend' or 'lady friend'.