Forum: ell.stackexchange.com
Tags: <word-choice><phrases><figurative-language>
Title: Is it proper to use "broke" in "Broke his feelings"?
Question: My colleague  broke his feelings . ( English Syntax and Argumentation ,  Bas Aarts)   Aarts says this sentence is abnormal, because of the selectional restrictions: ‘feelings’ is abstract and not proper for the object of ‘broke.’ I can understand what he is saying. But is the case so strange enough to be selected by Aarts? We can say ‘The death of his wife broke him completely.’ Then why can’t we say like the example?

Answers:
sents: text: I believe "break" is used metaphorically in "broken heart" and "broken man", and these metaphors have long since become fixed in language.
text: We're used to hearing them so much we don't even think of them as metaphors.
text: So why not "broken feelings"?
text: I believe it's simply a historical accident .
text: It's plausible to me that the collocation "broken feelings" could have become just as common as "a broken heart", even though it never did.
text: In other words, I don't believe there is any real analysis to make of it.
text: I could be wrong, of course.
text: But it's hard to say--we can't re-run history and see what different words and collocations we end up with, so it's not the sort of thing we can experiment with and determine empirically.
text: It's just a matter of what makes sense
text: --and
text: what makes sense to me is that it's a simple accident.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/230/snailplane
score: 12
sents: text: I do not recall ever hearing a fluent English speaker say "broke his feelings".
text: It is a common idiom to say that someone "broke his/her heart".
text: Typically this is said if a wife or girlfriend or husband or boyfriend terminates a relationship.
text: It is also commonly said if someone close to a person disappoints him in some extreme way, like "When he learned that his son had become a thief and a killer, it broke his heart."
text: It is also common to say that someone "hurt his feelings".
text: This is used for a disappointment or offense on a much smaller scale than "broke his heart".
text: Like, "When she didn't show up for their first date, it hurt his feelings."
text: "When he learned that his son had failed a history test, it hurt his feelings."
text: I don't know any logical reason why we say "broke his heart" but not "hurt his heart", and "hurt his feelings" but not "broke his feelings".
text: But that's the nature of idioms.
text: Some phrases just come to be commonly accepted, and others ... don't.
text: Regarding 25 million hits for "break * feelings": I checked out the first two pages and didn't see any that were "break his feelings" or "break her feelings".
text: Rather, there were many other words in between, like "When she broke up with him, it hurt his feelings".
text: Finding such a high number for that pair of words doesn't surprise me at all: People routinely talk their feelings when someone breaks up with them.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/803/Jay
score: 9
sents: text: From Google Books: hurt my feelings 370,000 hits broke my heart
text: 122,000 hits broke his spirit 65,300 hits broke my feelings 1 hit
text: That single instance is actually the reported speech of a child, in a book with the equally "ungrammatical" title Nice on My Feelings (there are no relevant instances of broke his feelings ).
text: So one justification for Aarts saying "this sentence is abnormal" is simply the fact that people don't say it .
text: As regards the "selectional restrictions" justification, I would put it like this:
text: Your (real or metaphorical) heart is something that can be seen as whole and functional, so it can be "broken".
text: Equally, with your spirit , it's a reference to your vivacity/determination - which can also be "broken", so it doesn't function properly any more.
text: But feelings are always there (in fact you'd probably have more of them if someone broke your heart); they're not sufficiently organised or functional to be described as "broken", no matter what happens to them.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/126/FumbleFingers Reinstate Monica
score: 5
sents: text: Although "broke his feelings" is just as logical than "hurt his feelings" or "broke his heart"
text: it is simply non-idiomatic.
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/1883/BobRodes
score: 2
sents: text: Also, an interesting aspect in "
text: My colleague broke his feelings" is that HE did it to HIMSELF.
text: If the correct form is eg "break one's heart", I still can't break it to myself, but something must break it to me.
text: Similarly, I suppose, we can't say "I broke my spirit" but have to say that "something broke my spirit" etc.
text: Am I right?
answer_details: author: ell.stackexchange.com/users/1003/Mirek51
score: 1

Summary of the answers:
I do not recall ever hearing a fluent English speaker say "broke his feelings".  In 25 million hits for "break * feelings", there were no entries for "break his feelings" or "break her feelings" - it is simply non-idiomatic.
This is non-idiomatic and is not used despite web hits.