Forum: workplace.stackexchange.com
Tags: <privacy>
Title: Is it wrong for my boss to tell my parents what I do wrong in the workplace?
Question: My boss keeps telling my parents the things I do wrong at work so not only do I get in trouble at work I get in trouble at home too. Is there any way I can prove that this is wrong and that she can not tell my parents what goes on in the workplace? I’m also 18 by the way.

Answers:
sents: text: This is why it's best not to get a job organised by your parents or where your parents and the boss know each other well enough to do this.
text: It's actually a failing on both parts, possibly well meant but a failing nethertheless.
text: Your boss shouldn't be telling tales, and your parents shouldn't be listening to them.
text: All you can do is ask the boss to desist while you're looking for a new job.
text: Or just soldier on until you can leave.
answer_details: author: workplace.stackexchange.com/users/40669/Kilisi
score: 37
sents: text: This must be a frustrating and embarrassing situation for you, even without knowing any of the details as to why or how your boss is talking to your parents.
text: That being said, depending where you are in the world, it is highly unlikely that there will be any local laws to support your situation.
text: My recommendation is to calmly discuss this with your boss.
text: Explain how their "chats" are effecting your relationships at home negatively.
text: Depending on how this conversation goes and your boss's reaction, will determine your next move to either stay or look for other work.
text: Hope this helps.
text: Best of luck.
text: T
answer_details: author: workplace.stackexchange.com/users/81550/Talbot Clifton
score: 8
sents: text: I am assuming you're American and your parents have classic American views on teen work.
text: That being said, it seems like a no-brainer to have your parents give you the easy job hook up.
text: Who wants to interview and risk rejection?!
text: As you can see, it comes with caveats.
text: I agree with others that this is a failing on behalf of both parents and employer.
text: They aren't giving you the respect of a young adult and encouraging you to be responsible for yourself.
text: There is another problem here too: you're vulnerable to abuse by your employer if your parents aren't respecting you as an adult.
text: I don't know your age or you're gender, but imagine a circumstance where your boss sexually assaults you: if you can't turn to your parents then who can you turn to?
text: The only way out is thusly (and this too will require you to have uncomfortable conversations but establish yourself and an adult):
text: To your parents: express your gratitude for their help and then bluntly tell them it's now your opportunity to lose.
text: The chatter between them and your boss is not giving you the room to learn to be an adult and it needs to end.
text: You will need to speak sternly but respectfully; assert your need to grow.
text: They may ultimately say really discouraging things like it's their reputation
text: and you're embarrassing them ( some parents are dicks like that).
text: Be ready to hear it.
text: Kids are always an extension of the parents even when you're grown.
text: But that doesn't mean they have a right to hurt you with it.
text: To your employer: be blunt and tell him the job is between him and you and no one else
text: and you need him to respect that.
text: If he can't you will need to move on.
text: Be ready to quit or be fired in some unceremonious fashion.
text: Be ready for all of them to ignore your request and continue to treat you like a child.
text: If they don't get in line, quit (with notice even if they send you packing on the spot).
text: You will feel humiliated.
text: Remember that sting and don't repeat the mistake.
answer_details: author: workplace.stackexchange.com/users/85477/Christian Bongiorno
score: 6
sents: text: I think you need to look at this from another angle.
text: In most work places, bosses would just fire you instead of talking to your parents.
text: I'm assuming that your boss is friends with your parents.
text: Perhaps he doesn't feel comfortable firing you
text: so he tries talking to your parents.
text: You said you get into trouble both at work and at home, so I'm assuming your boss is talking to you about the issues as well.
text: The way I see it, you need to ask yourself this question: "Do I want this job?"
text: If the answer is no, then quit.
text: Find something better, explain to your parents about your feelings, and (very important!)
text: thank your boss for giving you this opportunity.
text: If the answer is yes, then you need to figure out why you keep getting into trouble at work.
text: Your boss is likely talking to your parents because talking to you isn't getting any results.
text: Any other boss would likely have just let you go by now.
text: You need to figure out what you're doing wrong and fix it.
text: Sit down with your boss and talk to him about it.
text: I bet that if your boss can resolve those issues with you, he will not be going to your parents anymore.
answer_details: author: workplace.stackexchange.com/users/85480/Solar
score: 5
sents: text: Given that you are 18 and thus an adult...
text: I would say it is not wrong, it is illegal.
text: Your work contract has an expectation of privacy for work related matters and given that your parents are not priviledged anymore.
text: Internal Company Affairs are confidential by law - at least in most countries.
answer_details: author: workplace.stackexchange.com/users/48847/TomTom
score: 1
sents: text: My advice is to not respond in any way.
text: Sure, you're parents may keep asking questions.
text: Just limit it to one word answers so you're not being disrespectful.
text: In no way can you let your employer know that this is the way to handle you at work.
text: It won't make things better.
text: Have a grown up conversation with your boss that you prefer to be dealt with directly if there is a problem.
text: That's it.
text: You can't make him do it.
text: Don't go into details about how it makes you feel or what it does to the relationship with your parents.
text: It's none of your boss's business.
text: Which is the entire point.
text: To keep your sanity, just keep imagining the look on your boss's face when you tell him you got a new job.
answer_details: author: workplace.stackexchange.com/users/None/
score: 0

Summary of the answers:
This is wrong for both parents and employer but there are unlikely to be any local laws to support this.
Whether this is lawful or not is open to debate. Some people might feel that this is a breach of contract. However, regardless of the legal implications, most people would consider this poor behaviour on the part of both your employer and your parents.