Lesson2-D:InvestigativeSkills.ElementsofCommunicationStylesAggressiveStyleMottosandBeliefsEveryoneshouldbelikeme.Iamneverwrong.I’vegotrights,butyoudon’t.CommunicationStyleClosed-minded.Poorlistener.Hasdifficultyseeingtheotherperson’spointofview.Interrupts.Monopolizes.CharacteristicsAchievesgoals,oftenatexpenseofothers.Domineering,bullying.Patronizing.Condescending,sarcastic.-BehaviorPutsothersdown.VDoesn’teverthinktheyarewrong.Bossy.VMovesintootherpeople’sspace,overpowers.Jumpsonothers,pushespeoplearound.Kno’’-it-allattitude.Doesn’tshowappreciation.NonverbalCuesPointsandshakesfingers.VVFrownsandsquintscritically.Glaresandstares.VRigidposture.Critical,loudtoneofvoice..Fast,clippedspeech.VerbalCues“Youshould,must,oughtto.”V‘Don’taskwhy—justdoVerballyabusive.VConfrontationandMustwinarguments,threatens,attacks.ProblemSolvingOperatesfromaVwin.joseposition.VFeelingsAnger.Hostility.Frustration.Impatience.VEffectsProvokescounteraggression.Alienationfromothers.Illhealth.Wastestimeandenergysupervisingothers.Payshighpriceinhumanrelationships.Fostersresistance.Defiance,sabotaging,strikingback..VVVFormingalliances.Lyingandcoveringup.•VVForcesresentfulcompliance.VPreceptor

Manual • Passive

Style Mottos

and Beliefs

Don’t express

true feelings. Don’t

make

waves. Don’t disagree. Others

have

more

rights

than

I do. Communication

Style

Indirect. Always

agrees. Doesn’t.

speak

up

or

is hesitant. Characteristics

Apologetic, self-conscious,

trusts

others

but

not

self. Doesn’t

express

own wants

and feelings—allows

others

to make decisions

for self. Doesn’t

get what he/she

wants. Behavior

Sighs

a lot. Tries

to

sit

on both

sides

of

the fence

to avoid conflict. Clams

up when feeling

treated unfairly..

Asks permission unnecessarily

and complains

instead

of taking action. Lets others

make choices. Has difficulty implementing

plans. Self-effacing. Nonverbal

Cues

Fidgets. Nods

head often—comes

across

as pleading. Lack

of facial animation. Smiles

and nods

in agreement

but with downcast

eyes

and slumped

posture. Low volume,

meek. Talks

fast when anxious. Slow, hesitant

when doubtful. Verbal

Cues

“You should

do

it.” “You

have

more experience

than

I do.” “I can’t.”.

“This

is prob4bly

wrong,

but..

.I’ll try.” Monotone,

low energy. Confrontation

and

Avoids,

ignores,

leaves, postpones. Problem

Solving

Withdraws,

is sullen

and silent.:

Agrees externally

while disagreeing

internally. Expends

energy

to avoid conflicts

that

are anxiety-provoking. Spends

too much

time asking

for advice. As

a supervisor,

agrees

too often. Feelings

Powerlessness. Wonders

why doesn’t

receive

credit

for good

work. Chalks

lack

of recognition

up

to others’ inabilities. Effects

Gives

up being himself/herself. Builds dependent relationships. Doesn’t

know

where

he/she

stands. Slowly

loses self-esteem. Promotes

others’

causes. •

Is not well liked. 2-D-84

CMS Preceptor Manual—November

2005Lesson2-D:InvestiqativeSkillsAssertive_StyleMottosandBeliefsBelievesselfandothersarevaluable,knowingthatassertivenessdoesnotalwaysmeanyouwinbutthatyouhandledthesituationaseffectivelyaspossible.“1haverightsandsodoothers.”CommunicationStyleEffective,activelistener.Stateslimits,expectations.Statesobservations—nolabelsorjudgments.Expressesselfdirectly,honestlyandassoonaspossibleaboutfeelingsandwants.Checksonfeelingsofothers.CharacteristicsNonjudgmental.Observesbehaviorratherthanlabelingit.Trustsselfandothers—confident.Self-aware,open,flexible,versatile.Playfulsenseofhumor.Decisive.•Proactiveinitiating.BehaviorOperatesfromchoice.Knowswhatisneededanddevelopsaplantogetit.Action-oriented,firm,realisticinexpectations.Fairandjust,consistent.•Takesappropriateactiontowardgettingwhathe/shewantswithoutdenyingrightsofothers.NonverbalCuesOpen,naturalgestures..Attentive,interestedfacialexpression..Directeyecontact,confidentorrelaxedposture.Appropriatevocalvolume.Expressive,variedrateofspeech.VerbalCues“Ichooseto.”“Whataremyoptions?”“Whatalternatives’dowehave?”ConfrontationandNegotiates,bargains,tradesoff,compromises.ProblemSolvingConfrontsproblemsatthetimetheyhappen.Doesn’tletnegativefeelingsbuildup.FeelingsEnthusiasm.Well-being.Eventempered.EffectsIncreasedself-esteem.andself-confidence.Increasedself-esteemofothers.Feelsmotivatedandunderstood.Othersknowwheretheystand.