Personal & Family Readiness Toolkit 

 3rd Edition May 2007 

1
Family Readiness Toolkit 

Table of Contents

1. INTRODUCTION _____________________________________________________3 

2. FINANCES _________________________________________________________5 

3. LEGAL AFFAIRS AND ESTATE PLANNING 10 

4. FAMILY SUPPORT RESOURCES ______________________________________15

5. YOUR FAMILY 20 

6. DEPARTING AND RETURNING TO YOUR CIVILIAN CAREER ______________24 

7. RELOCATION RESOURCES __________________________________________26 

8. TOOLKIT RESOURCES / WEB LINKS __________________________________28 

Office of Reserve Affairs 

www.defenselink.mil/ra/

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1. Introduction 

The Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Reserve Affairs has developed this family readiness 

toolkit as an organizational guide to benefit you and your family. The military is a challenging and 

enriching profession. Guard and Reserve members make up half of the Total Force and are called to 

serve with active duty troops in a variety of contingencies and military operations in support of U.S. 

security interests. Personal preparation to deploy in support of contingency operations is vital. 

Welcome to the Personal Family Readiness Toolkit 

It is likely that nothing will impact your ability to accomplish your mission more than the personal 

preparations you make prior to deployment 

Family readiness is not a concept created to make commands look good. It is a means by which every 

individual in the armed forces prepares for the possibility of leaving home to accomplish a mission. 

Furthermore, family readiness does not apply only to individuals with immediate families (spouse and 

children), it applies to everyone with responsibilities or obligations outside of their military profession. 

Whether you are away from home for a weekend or a year, you leave behind a vast array of 

responsibilities (household finance, childcare, domicile maintenance, etc.) which must be managed in 

your absence. In the event of a personal or national emergency, your personal and professional 

preparations may be required at a moment’s notice; therefore you must make every effort to quickly 

stand up a viable and comprehensive plan to sustain your family and personal affairs in your absence. 

We must accept the fact that we live in a world where difficult circumstances and tragedy could 

strike at any moment. 

To assist you with these personal preparations, worksheets and checklists have been included to provide 

you with a foundation to build your personal contingency plans upon. Carefully research each item and 

make sure the information you collect is accurate and up-to-date. Protect your hard work by storing 

checklists and worksheets in a safe place where you and your family members can easily refer to 

them. If you’re married, brief your spouse on the entirety of your family readiness plan. If you are single, 

brief a parent, sibling, or other trusted individual so that they are fully informed of all your important 

information, including the location of important documents. 

Putting-off personal and family estate preparations in the vain hope that you will never require 

them may result in unnecessary hardship and suffering for those left behind. 

Do not wait. Begin today. 

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Service Member Preparation 

You have studied hard for 

promotion to the next rank and are 

proficient in your operational 

specialty. Are you ready to employ 

your skills in action? You may be 

prepared, but is your household? 

While you are away, do you want 

to be free of worry over what is 

going to happen with your personal 

possessions, home and loved 

ones? Even with the latest 

technologies, you still may not be 

able to pay bills online or use your 

checkbook in the AOR (Area of 

Responsibility). You may go for 

weeks before you are able to even 

make a single phone call. Is your 

family prepared to function in your 

absence? 

You are directly and solely responsible for your own personal and legal affairs 

Fast-paced operational tempo and separations can put a strain on anyone whether they have a family of 

five, elderly parents or a pet Labrador retriever. If you play a major role in paying bills, managing the 

family income, handling home repairs and servicing the car, your absence may require shifting these 

responsibilities to someone you trust like a parent, spouse or significant other. The key to a successful 

deployment is advance preparation and candid communication. Planning ahead can help family 

members have access to all the information they need and give you the peace of mind that your family 

has the resources and support needed during your separation. 

CAUTION: Carefully consider who you will choose to be your Personal Trustee. If you delegate 

more than one trustee, ensure that they are each aware of their responsibilities 

The checklist and tips listed below can help prevent your family from feeling overwhelmed and the 

checklist can be used to record important family matters. Everyone needs an efficient system of 

maintaining records. It is recommended to maintain a file system of important papers and store 

them in a safe-deposit box or fireproof container. It is also essential to compile a personal inventory 

of all-important documents and where they are kept. If you able to do so, make copies of important 

documents (birth certificates, marriage license, passports, etc.) and keep these accessible for handy 

reference. 

Vital Information Inventory Worksheet 

This Vital Information Inventory worksheet (located on page 44) is a nearly all-inclusive review of your 

personal history and family and property obligations. Although it is for both single and married individual 

use, it is not intended to be the be-all-end-all means of your preparation, merely a starting point to help 

you define the range of actions and responsibilities you may have to delegate while you are away. 

Filling out a form for every member of your family is a good technique for compiling all documents into 

one central location or file. These files can be kept on hand for your future reference or in case of an 

emergency. Use your imagination to tailor these items for your personal use. 

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2. Finances 

Personal Financial Management

Perhaps no other aspect of an individual’s l

has a greater impact than the realm of 

Personal Finance. Although the adage that 

“money isn’t everything” may hold true in a 

philosophical sense, it certainly cannot 

provide cover for the realities of the world in 

which we live. Your financial welfare can 

have a direct impact on your personal 

self-esteem and emotional health. Money 

matters can affect even the best of 

relationships and have a direct impact on our 

ability to perform at home and at work. 

Whether you are a Certified Public 

Accountant or just entering the workplace, 

your ability to effectively and efficiently 

manage personal finances is dependent on 

following simple and basic fundamentals. Everything about personal finance revolves around what we 

own outright (assets), what we take home (income) and what obligations we are committed to 

(liabilities). There are many software programs (i.e. Quicken, Microsoft Money, etc.) available to help 

you with managing your finances. The Personal Inventory Worksheet is a great starting point to help you 

see all aspects of your financial situation and begin to formulate a plan to prepare for nearly any 

foreseeable event in your career. 

ife 

Your Assets 

What do you own? Everything tangible has some value whether it is personal or financial. Taking a good 

inventory of your hard (Auto, jewelry, furniture or clothing) assets is essential to forming a picture of your 

personal finances. Use the following table as an example: 

Description of Item Location Purchase Date /Price Approximate Current Value 

Naturally, this list can be as detailed as you desire. A way to manage the length of this list is to set a limit 

on appraised value (i.e. items worth more than $250.00). 

Your Income 

The amount of income you anticipate is critical to forming a personal finance plan. Cash on hand is often 

referred to as a “liquid” asset in that it can easily be converted into something you desire to purchase 

(converting into a ‘hard” asset) or used to pay another person or company for services rendered (phone 

bill or babysitter) As a liquid part of your assets, the amount of money you plan to receive and when you 

plan to receive it determines what you can purchase. It’s important to be realistic and not overly 

optimistic about income. If you have a full-time job and only drill once a month, only plan for just the basic 

amount of military pay you expect to receive. 

5
Military Pay and Allowances 

The military finance system is complex and multi-faceted. 

Your military unit and finance office are able to assist you w

any questions about pay and allowances. The recently 

published “Guide to Reserve Family Member Benefits” is an 

excellent reference and can be downloaded from the Internet 

on the Reserve Affairs web site, 

ith 

http://www.defenselink.mil/ra/. Other comprehensive 

resources that provide current information on pay rates for 

Reserve members for a single drill, a weekend tour of drill 

(four drills), 14 days of annual training, and a complete 

earnings table can be located at: http://www.dod.mil/dfas/

Basic Pay 

Without belaboring the basic terms of the military pay system, there are many resources you can use to 

determine the amount of basic pay you can anticipate. All rates of pay are determined by rank and time 

of service. Your service/pay date determines the years of service you have. 

 

Basic Pay and Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS), Inactive Duty Training (IDT) Pay: 

http://www.dod.mil/dfas/

Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) and BAH-II: 

 http://dod.mil/militarypay/pay/bas/index.html

Incentive or Special Pay, Family Separation Allowance and Other Allowances may also apply to your 

situation. Some of the other allowances that you can expect to receive are: 

• Travel: The government pays for official travel when you are required to perform temporary duty 

away from your permanent duty site, with some restrictions. 

• Clothing and Uniform: The military replaces enlisted Guard and Reserve members’ worn-out 

uniforms with new clothing items or they may provide a cash allowance if clothing is not provided. 

Direct Deposit of Pay and Allowances 

Direct deposit is mandatory. Pay and allowances will be sent to the service member’s 

designated financial institution account via electronic funds transfer on a regular basis (1st and 

15th of each month) if on active duty, and within a reasonable time after orders and / or travel 

claims are submitted to your unit’s administrative personnel or Reserve Pay Office. 

Other Income 

Include any income you expect to receive on a regular basis from another source of employment. 

Spouses Income 

If spouse’s income is to be used, consider having this source of income on a direct deposit plan. 

Anticipated Total Income 

Broken down into monthly amounts, will help you manage your income figures more effectively. Use the 

following to determine your monthly income. 

• Salary(ies) Full-Time Employment 

• Salary(ies) Reserve Compensation 

• Salary(ies) Spouse’s Employment 

Do not forget to consider the following additional sources of income: 

o Annuity 

o Alimony 

o Child Support 

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o Commissions 

o VA Disability Compensation (%) 

o Individual Retirement Accounts 

Keep in mind that your military compensation may fluctuate with the various duty statuses 

performed and that you may receive an increase in pay commensurate with increases in 

defense authorized spending for the following year. Your deployment status will also 

affect: 

• Per Diem Rates 

• Family Separation Allowance 

• Taxation Rates 

Reenlistment and bonuses may also positively influence your pay. Check with your 

Personnel office to verify these benefits. 

Liabilities / Expenses 

Whether it is a Mortgage, rent, loan or utilities payment, everything you 

anticipate paying for must be included in your list of liabilities. It is 

important to emphasize that discretionary expenses (sodas, magazines, 

video rentals) must also be estimated and listed as well. If you cannot 

determine just how much that amount will be, look back at old receipts or 

credit card accounts and use an average amount. The best method is to 

pick an amount of discretionary spending (i.e. a $200 /month allowance) 

and strive not to exceed it. 

The following is a sample list of common expenses: 

Type of Expense When Due Amount* 

Mortgage(s)/Rent(s) 

Property Taxes 

Auto loan(s) 

Gasoline/ Auto Service 

Food / Groceries 

Home Insurance 

Auto Insurance 

Life Insurance 

Health Insurance 

Utilities (gas, electric, water) 

Telephone 

Cable (internet, TV) 

Alimony / Child Support 

Dues (club, union, groups) 

Tithes or donations 

Savings ** 

Discretionary spending 

Investments*** 

Day Care expenses 

School Tuition 

And more.... 

* A Note on Computing Expenses 

For items with fluctuating month-to-month amounts (utilities) or lump-sum amounts (tuition) total the 

expenses from the previous year and divide by 12 for a monthly forecast. Some utility companies will do 

this for you for your convenience with an automatic debit plan. In fact, most, if not all, of today’s 

household expenses may be automatically managed through bank drafts, allotments or payment plans. 

7
Consider using these services to assist you in your budget plan. If you use a credit card to pay your bills, 

be vigilant in its use and consider having a separate card for home expenses only. 

**A Note on Savings 

Many people do not consider their savings as an expense. Many financial advisors strive to change this 

frame of mind in their clients. You should seriously consider the 

tactic to “pay yourself first” in order to begin accumulating extra 

cash for possible emergencies (personal injury/accident) or for 

upcoming planned events (vacation or the birth of a child). It is 

often recommended to have at least 2 months of full pay saved in 

reserve for use when needed. Many, many individual financial 

plans fail as a result of failing to save enough money for a “rainy 

day”. 

***A Note on Investments 

Do not forget to include any company matching incentives (401k) or 

tax-free benefits of an IRA or Thrift Savings Plan. Often these 

expenses are easily managed on a monthly basis. Savings Bonds 

are low or no-risk investments. You can use savings bonds as a 

means to grow your savings or as a way to build college funds for your child’s education. For more 

information: 

www.savingsbond.gov. 

http://www.tsp.gov/

Income Taxes 

Federal income and social security taxes are automatically withheld from basic, and special and incentive 

pays, inactive training pay and funeral honors duty stipend. Allowances such as BAS and BAH are 

exempt. Service members on active duty pay state income tax only to their state of legal residence 

regardless of where they are serving. In some cases, service during combat or an overseas contingency 

operation may be tax-exempt. Refer to your chain of command to see if you will serve under a tax-free 

status while deployed. 

Special Tax Exemptions 

Your military service may cause you to incur expenses for which law does not allow direct reimbursement. 

You are, however, allowed to deduct some of these expenses from your personal income tax filing. 

Travel and Lodging 

• If a Guard or Reserve member is required to stay away from their principal place of residence 

overnight while performing authorized drills (IDTs) and training duty (AT/ADT) he or she may 

deduct all of the cost of the travel expenses including meals, subject to a limitation of 50%, and 

lodging (if it is not furnished). 

• There are many times when Guard and Reserve members are required to drive to the Reserve 

Center at dates and times other than normal drills. Service members are entitled to deduct roundtrip mileage since the travel was performed in order to meet higher 

authority directives. It is important to keep a log of any additional 

trips and miles. 

A Note on Tax Returns 

Consider saving all of your tax returns from previous years for future 

reference. Consider using specialized software to help you manage your 

expenses with your next tax filing in mind. If you use an accounting service, 

let your personal trustee know how to contact them if needed. 

To access the Internal Revenue Service Website: 

www.irs.gov

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Your Budget 

Everyone needs a budget. In order to provide a balance between income and expenses, the budget 

provides the forecast on your financial well-being and is a great planning tool to help you achieve your 

goals. Ideally, we would all have a lot more money coming in than going out. Unfortunately, only a very 

few people are able to accumulate wealth quickly simply by saving it. Your budget is a plan, nothing 

more. 

Plan for your success. Use a disciplined approach in your everyday affairs and you will be well on your 

way to effective financial management. 

Managing the family budget while your spouse is away can be challenging, but it can be done. Prior to 

deployment, sit down with your spouse or personal trustee and calculate your monthly expenses. 

Consider using the following tips to assist your planning: 

• Deployed allowance. Compute the potential expenses of the member on deployment. 

• Separate Accounts. Also consider opening separate checking accounts to ease confusion over 

who is writing checks and when they are written. You can use one account while deployed and 

your spouse can use the other. Make sure you and your spouse have a clear understanding 

regarding the amount and timing of deposits to the second account. 

• Make Transferring Funds Easy. You may need to draw upon your 

savings to cover unexpected costs. With checking and savings 

accounts in the same bank, funds can be transferred easily. 

• Use Electronic Funds Transfers (EFT) Effectively. The EFTs can be a 

real plus by automatically setting aside money for specific use. Listed 

below are some typical items for which EFTs are used: 

• Payments to dependents 

o Monthly bond payments 

o Contributions 

o Mortgage payments 

o Savings payments 

o Insurance payments 

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3. Legal Affairs and Estate Planning 

Legal Affairs 

It is unwise to wait until your unit receives deployment orders to plan your legal affairs. 

Too many unit commands do not educate their Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines about their legal 

obligations until orders to deploy arrive. Unfortunately, many young service members are unaware of the 

many facets of their legal obligations until their unit informs them of their necessity or enforces minimal 

address of personal legal affairs. Consequently, fundamental administrative tasks take up the majority of 

the time needed to prepare and pack up unit equipment and prepare to accomplish the assigned mission. 

Once a service member is preparing to deploy or leave for training, ensuring legal affairs are squaredaway is a top priority and an important requirement. These issues are the ones many people 

understandably hesitate to think about, but they are extremely important considerations for you and your 

family. Consider the following key components of your legal affairs: 

• Check the pages of your service record to make sure the information is correct. An incorrect 

address or phone number can delay quick response in an emergency. 

• Make sure the correct beneficiary is listed on your Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) 

election and certificate. 

• Ensure your spouse knows the location of the nearest military legal assistance office for help with 

legal problems that may arise during mobilization. 

• Ensure at least a basic last will and testament it signed 

and notarized. 

 

Estate Planning 

In legal terms, everything you own, solely or jointly, is c

part of your estate. Whether you’re married or single, have

children or not, estate planning should be an essential part

your personal affairs. Estate planning focuses on what will 

happen to your estate if you are not able to manage it yourself as 

a result of a disability, illness or death. Preparing for this 

possibility is critical to avoid unnecessary hardship and legal difficulty on your loved ones if you die or ar

seriously injured. Although not every person wants or needs a will, military testamentary instrument

health care directive, you should seek legal counsel to ensure your legal affairs are in order well before 

mobilization. 

onsidered 

 of 

e 

 or 

To find the nearest military legal office, visit the following service specific websites: 

Air Force http://hqja.jag.af.mil/

Army http://www.jagcnet.army.mil/legal

Coast Guard http://www.uscg.mil/legal/index.htm

Navy and Marines http://www.jag.navy.mil/ 

Items such as durable powers of attorney, living wills, and advance medical 

directives are some of the basic legal “instruments” used for the disposition of 

an estate. Although there are many ways to write a will, it is critical that your 

will be within the legal constraints of the state in which you reside. Licensed 

legal counsel is the best alternative to formulate a will. A will can be as simple 

or as complex as your assets allow. If there are minor children involved, or if 

you desire for your estate to be managed for a period of time after you die, then 

a detailed will / estate plan may be a better choice. If you are married, it is 

important that both you and your spouse each have a will. If you have sizable 

assets, you should consider a civilian estate planner who can assist you with 

the often-complicated estate tax considerations. A will is more than just the 

division of assets. Your will can inform the state and your survivors of your 

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wishes regarding burial, custody of your children, funds to be held in trust for their use when they grow up 

and disposition of any business interests you have. A will is an important document to maintain and keep 

up-to-date. If you or your spouse dies without a will, the state may have to decide how your estate is to 

be distributed and who will have custody of your children. If one is incapacitated or has an incurable or 

irreversible condition that will cause death in a relatively short period of time, is sustaining treatment, such 

as respirators or feeding tubes desired? You and your closest family members should be able to answer 

these questions about your health care. These decisions are some of the most difficult personal 

decisions anyone can make and should therefore not be ignored or left to chance. Your will should be 

kept in a safe but accessible place and copies may be made to assist your executor. 

Choosing an Executor for Your Estate 

This is not always and easy decision. The executor of your estate has to be someone who is able to 

“execute” your legal estate in the manner or way you desire. The role of executor is often not an easy 

one, so it is important to select someone able to accomplish tasks assigned with minimal impact on their 

own circumstances. In any case, it is very helpful that you discuss these issues with your family (spouse, 

parents, older children or trustee) so that everyone can be “on the same page”. Web search Executor

keyword on a web search to learn more about the responsibilities and challenges an executor must face. 

Funeral and Burial Arrangements 

Included in your will should be any specific instructions you have regarding your burial. Again, if this is 

not stipulated, it is up to the discretion of the person in charge of your 

estate to determine whether you will be buried or cremated. If you are 

entitled to full military honors and wish to be buried in a national 

cemetery, clarify this in your will. If you have a burial plot or vault in a 

cemetery, outline the details and any arrangements you have made in 

advance. Information regarding your military awards and decorations 

will be particularly helpful. Like your will, these instructions should be 

accessible and entrusted to someone who is familiar with your wishes. 

Private Associations and Organizations 

You may be a member of several associations or organizations (VFW, American Legion, Elks, etc.) that 

may be very helpful to your family. It is recommended that you document any affiliation with these groups 

and indicate what assistance you desire or what services your family may expect. 

Military Burial and Death Benefits 

When a member dies while on active duty (including 

members who are retired and remain in a military 

hospital, and who continue to be hospitalized as 

patients therein to date of death; or a member who 

dies on active duty for training, or while performing 

inactive duty training), the military will provide for care 

and disposition of remains. When military authorities 

arrange for disposition of remains, services of 

preparation at the place of death, removal, embalming 

preparation and preservation, casket, and 

transportation to a common carrier are normally 

obtained under contract; however, when no contract is 

available, military authorities negotiate with local 

funeral directors to obtain these services. Military authorities will also provide the following as required: 

• Cremation (if cremation is requested in writing by the Person Authorized to Direct Disposition 

(PADD) of the remains) 

• A suitable urn for the cremated remains 

• A U.S. flag to drape the casket 

• Transportation of remains, accompanied by an escort, from the place of death to the 

• Military honors if requested, will be provided at the place of interment 

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Mortuary Planning 

Do you want to have full military honors? Do you prefer cremation with you ashes kept or spread 

in a specific location? Only you know the answers to these questions. 

There are important elements to consider when planning for burial or disposition of remains. Although it 

is a subject that many prefer to shy away from, it is critical to face the possibility of what may happen 

should we die. It is essential that you and your spouse, significant other or trustee discuss these 

questions together in advance. It is common to specifically address your desires in your Last Will 

and Testament or you may have these instructions in another document along with any health 

care or living will directives. Again, these documents require storage in a known and accessible 

place to your lawyer, spouse or designated executor. If you do not address them in writing then 

someone else will have to decide on your behalf. This could be a severe burden and it is beneficial to 

everyone if you make it known what your preferences are. The Mortuary Affairs Planning Guide on 

page 61 of this publication will help you document exactly what your desires are. Because there are 

several items to consider, click on the Survivor’s Guide to Benefits for comprehensive assistance. 

Mortuary Planning Sheet for Active Duty Air Force Members: (Same benefits for all services)

http://www.e-publishing.af.mil/pubfiles/af/34/afpam34-261/afpam34-261.pdf

Mortuary Planning Sheet for Retired Air Force Members: (same benefits for all service retirees)

http://www.e-publishing.af.mil/pubfiles/af/34/afpam34-260/afpam34-260.pdf

Other Mortuary Sites of Interest 

Dod Directive 1300.22 Mortuary Affairs Policy: 

www.dtic.mil/whs/directives/ 

corres/pdf/d130022_020300/d130022p.pdf 

Survivor Assistance: 

http://survivorassistance.afsv.af.mil/

VA Burial Benefits: 

www.cem.va.gov

Arlington National Cemetery: 

www.arlingtoncemetery.org/

National Cemetery System: 

www.cem.va.gov/index.htm 

Headstones & Markers: 

www.cem.va.gov/hm.htm 

American Legion: 

http://www.legion.org/ 

Veterans of Foreign Wars: 

www.vfw.org

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Life Insurance 

If you have a private life insurance policy, ensure that the details of the policy 

are accessible. In many cases, lack of proper documentation by a beneficiary 

can delay or even prevent payment from the insuring company or agency. 

Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) 

All members of the Uniformed Services are automatically insured under 

Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI). SGLI is granted under 

provisions of Title 38, United States Code and is a group life insurance policy 

purchased from a commercial insurance carrier by the Veteran’s 

Administration. An individual policy is not issued to the member. The 

insurance issued under this policy is term insurance; therefore there is no loan, cash, paid-up, or 

extended insurance value. Members can be insured up to $400,000 unless an election is filed reducing 

the insurance by $10,000 increments or canceling it entirely. The cost for this coverage is $.80 per 

$10,000 

Coverage is for 24 hours per day, 365 days a year. SGLI may be converted upon release from active 

duty, active duty for training, initial active duty for training (IDT), or upon separation from the Ready 

Reserve, to VGLI or to a commercial life insurance policy effective at the end of the 120-day SGLI 

extension period. 

SGLI Family Coverage 

SGLI Family Coverage will become effective on November 1, 2001. It is available for the spouses and 

children of active duty service members and members of the Ready Reserve of a uniformed service. To 

participate in Family Coverage, members must be enrolled in SGLI. Members enrolled in SGLI on 

November 1, 2001, will automatically be enrolled in Family Coverage for the maximum amount unless the 

member completes Form SGLV 8286A and returns it to the personnel office. After November 1, 2001, 

members may enroll in Family Coverage at the same time they enroll in SGLI. The maximum amount of 

Family Coverage available for spouses is $100,000. However, the spouse’s coverage cannot exceed the 

member’s amount of SGLI coverage. Each dependent child of members enrolled in SGLI will 

automatically be insured for $10,000, regardless of whether the spouse is covered. Children will be 

covered to age 18, or up to age 23 if the child is attending a recognized educational institution. 

A copy of SGLV Form 8286 and instructions are included. This form must be completed if members want 

less than $400,000 coverage or decline the insurance. For the latest information visit: 

SGLI Site (From Veterans Administration Site): 

www.insurance.va.gov/sgliSite/SGLI/SGLI.htm

VGLI Site (from Veterans Administration Site): 

www.insurance.va.gov/sgliSite/VGLI/VGLI.htm

Power of Attorney 

A Power of Attorney (POA) is a document that allows a person you designate as the legal authority to act 

on your behalf when you are unavailable. Most Powers of Attorney have a beginning and an ending date. 

Many service members set the length of their POA based on when they are due to return from 

deployment or training. If a Power of Attorney is desired, it should be effective for no more than the 

period necessary to accomplish the purpose and it is not recommended to be given for more than a 

period of one year.

There are two primary types of Powers of Attorney: 

• General: A general POA gives your designated representative 

the authority to conduct any transaction on your behalf. The 

benefit to a general power of attorney is that your 

representative can use the power of attorney to handle any 

unforeseen issues that may arise during deployment. The 

danger of a general power of attorney is that you are legally 

bound by any decisions your representative may make to 

include selling your possessions as well as buying new 

13
possessions for you by using your credit. Therefore, a general POA should be used with 

extreme caution. Most military legal assistance offices recommend a special or limited Power of 

Attorney instead. 

• Limited/Special: A limited or special POA grants your representative the right to act on your 

behalf for a specific transaction. An example is a separate special power of attorney which 

authorizes the individual you name to get medical treatment for eligible family members and 

make medical decisions for those family members who are minors. 

The person you grant a Power of Attorney should be trustworthy, reliable, 

competent, capable, and one who would make decisions similar to the ones 

you would make. 

Single Parent Considerations 

Single members who are also parents 

ility of determining care for children i

their absence. Ideally this responsibility is taken by the par

close relative of the member, but the legal basis for your child’s 

care requires a Power of Attorney. Depending on the requir

the power of attorney may be special (authorizing pick up and dro

off from day care or school) or all encompassing (relegating major 

decisions such as medical attention and management of trust 

accounts. In any case, it is crucial that you designate as a 

caregiver understands the full responsibility entailed. If the child is

in school, ensure that the teacher and school staff is aware of y

situation and that any required releases or forms are completed.

have the additional responsib n 

ent or 

ed task, 

p 

our 

 

here are specific issues related to your responsibilities as a single parent which are covered in the 

 that 

ingle Parent Central 

tcentral.com/

T

Family Care section in Chapter 5 and Family Care Plan Guide on page 55 of this guide. Also note

there are many resources you can access to facilitate and enhance your role and parent and caregiver. 

Do not hesitate to make use of unit spouse organizations and Family Readiness Groups. Their mission is

to ensure that your challenging task is theirs also, and they are more than happy to assist you. Also visit: 

S

http://www.singleparen

14
4. Family Support Resources 

Knowing your Resources 

It is imperative that you scour near and far to know exactly which resources will best support your 

particular situation. You can save yourself and your designated care givers time and forestall any 

uncertainties if you familiarize everyone not only with their responsibilities, but also the resources 

available to assist them along the way. 

Benefits and Entitlements 

Knowing your specific benefits and entitlements as a military member is crucial to everything else 

associated with your family’s readiness. As a reservist, you and your family must be well-versed with 

EXACTLY what to expect if you become activated or mobilized. Lifetime essentials that are often 

significantly affected by mobilization include: 

• Medical and Dental Benefits

• Life Insurance Policies

• Investment Plans 

To view the latest guide to your military benefits and entitlements, go to: 

OSD/ RA Guard and Reserve Benefits Guide: 

http://www.defenselink.mil/ra/ (Look in the Family Readiness Section of the page) 

TRICARE PowerPoint Briefings: 

http://www.tricare.osd.mil/briefings/

Family Readiness Group (FRG) 

You might be asking yourself, “What is a FRG? Why should I be involved?” An FRG is an organization 

made up of family members, volunteers, service members, and civilian employees. The FRG belongs to a 

unit and provides an avenue of mutual support and serves as a network of 

communication among the family members, the chain of command, and community 

resources. FRGs are a grass-roots concept, and the basic goal is to provide 

opportunities for members to meet and communicate in order to alleviate problems 

and better cope with common issues. 

Your level of involvement is strictly up to you depending upon your personal interests, 

time, and commitment. As with any organization you may belong to, it takes time to 

transition into a new group and the FRG is no different. Give it a chance. Attend a 

ily sponsored activity. You will meet other spouses and families in the same situation

you find yourself – balancing their lives between a military and civilian world. FRGs provide an effective 

way of gaining and providing information during a deployment or separation. They are the essential 

conduits of news, and you will want to hear the updates. 

FRG meeting or fam

Unlike some organizations, the FRG does not have dues. All family members are equal and there is no 

military rank. The FRG leaders are volunteers – family members just like you. FRGs provide extensive 

training (which is usually free or paid for by the military unit) and a chance to volunteer. The FRG offers 

the opportunity to be involved in your spouse’s unit and to make a difference. They foster increased levels 

of cohesion, confidence, and commitment between the chain of command, the service members, and 

family members. The FRG offers an effective means of supporting families and reducing trauma and 

stress. 

The FRG is not a coffee group or club. Each family member, retiree, service member, or 

civilian employee has a connection to that specific military unit. The FRG is not a surrogate 

parent, guardian, or social worker. Instead, the FRG can provide support, assistance, and 

information and referral to resources as needed. The FRG is not a babysitting service, but 

it will often provide a location and child care for unit activities. FRGs enhance every Guard 

or Reserve unit family readiness by fostering a spirit of cooperation and unity. They can 

assist in preventing the problems that may affect families as a result of their spouse’s 

separation due to mobilization, deployment, or training. 

15
Because of their contribution to the Guard and Reserve family readiness initiative, FRGs receive some 

financial and logistical support from a variety of sources. This monetary support funds training and travel 

for FRG members, reimbursement of incidental expenses such as child care (needed while volunteering 

for the unit FRG), volunteer recognition programs, and unit newsletters. Volunteers are rewarded with 

professional development training and leadership opportunities, and the unit is rewarded with an 

enhanced state of family readiness. 

Family Readiness Group (FRG) Advisory Councils and 

Inter-Service Family Assistance Committee (ISFAC) 

Volunteers provide strong leadership in state or regional family readiness councils. Their experience and 

expertise is invaluable. Some of their responsibilities include: 

• Visiting units within the state or region and providing FRG briefings which include how to organize 

an FRG, how to maintain it, how to recruit volunteers, FRG fund raising activities, and how to 

establish guidelines for an FRG 

• Conducting training classes on various topics for FRG members, commanders, and service 

members 

• Providing invaluable input to the command by ensuring that family readiness receives appropriate 

command emphasis and resources (including monetary) 

In essence, FRG volunteers are team members with valued ideas, 

skills, and commitment. Volunteers are typically family members or 

retirees – someone who has a stake in seeking to enhance quality of 

life for military families. Volunteers are recruited from the unit level to 

serve on state or regional FRG Advisory Councils. Their travel and 

expenses are covered with funds appropriated for family readiness. 

Most volunteer positions are treated the same as paid positions. The 

volunteer applies for the position by completing an application and/or 

resume and is selected after being interviewed. Many volunteer 

positions require a time commitment of one to two years. As a family 

member, you may have an opportunity to share your experience and 

skills with a major command, state, or regional FRG Advisory Council. Your input is important whether it 

is at the unit, community, state, or regional level. 

To find Family Readiness Support Groups near you visit: 

www.guardfamily.org

Military One Source: 

http://www.militaryonesource.com

Military Homefront: 

www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil

Inter-Service Family Assistance Committee (ISFAC) 

An Inter-Service Family Assistance Committee (ISFAC) is a committee that facilitates ongoing 

communication, involvement, support, and family readiness between all branches of service, both Active 

and Reserve. Members come from surrounding military installations and communities within each state or 

region to form a committee to provide guidance and assistance in family readiness during mobilization, 

deployment and disaster relief. Active and Reserve component family program coordinators network to 

identify service providers in all areas. By working together efforts are enhanced rather than duplicated. 

A goal of an ISFAC is to strengthen existing family assistance delivery systems in the event of 

mobilization, contingency deployment or natural disaster through the interaction of committee members. 

This includes providing information, referral, education and preventive services to enhance family 

readiness and allows for rapid, coordinated services between installations and units. 

ISFACs meet quarterly or as determined by the needs of the participating organizations to share ideas 

and write Memorandum’s of Understanding (MOUs) to share resources and describe procedures and 

policies so that everyone has a common set of expectations. 

16
Because systems to share information, personnel, and resources have already been put in place, ISFACs 

help provide quick response during times of disaster such as hurricanes and forest fires and everyone 

knows their role and responsibility. ISFACs encourage and provide ongoing training for their members on 

topics such as critical incident stress, ombudsmanship, personal financial management, and family 

advocacy. ISFACs offer another key volunteer leadership opportunity. 

Volunteering 

Family readiness group (FRG) volunteers play an important role in providing assistance to military and 

family members before, during, and after family separation. When military 

members are mobilized or away for training, families are placed in a stressful 

situation. FRG volunteers can relate to other family members because they 

understand what they are going through and together they share coping strategies. 

Volunteering is a way to be involved, to better understand the mission of the unit, 

and to assist others. You can build new skills by volunteering, and you can receive 

valuable professional development training in leadership and other areas. The 

services offer programs such as Family Team Building, which is facilitated and 

organized solely by volunteer efforts. Volunteers are teaching other family 

members about military life, and strategies for success. 

Why volunteer? There are a number of good reasons for volunteering, including: 

• Contributing to the unit 

• Contributing to the community 

• Supporting your spouse’s military commitment 

• Gaining a sense of achievement 

• Gaining job experience and enhancing your resume 

Special Interest Topics 

This section contains four topics integral to military life: parent education information, relocation, handling 

separations, reunions and homecoming. These topics are broad and are not inclusive of the information 

you may need as a military family member. Use them as a reference and as a starting point. Seek 

additional information from your unit family readiness group (FRG) and the training opportunities provided 

through family readiness programs. 

The military lifestyle is unique and the mission may profoundly affect the family. Your life as a family 

member will be easier if you have an idea of what military missions require and how they might affect you 

and your family. If possible, attend unit family and social functions and FRG meetings. Meet your 

spouse’s supervisor, commander, and meet other Guard or Reserve families. The military has its own 

protocol, customs, and a special language (acronyms). These acronyms provide a quick, easy way of 

communicating, but they can also be a barrier to communication if you do not understand them. 

Ask your FRG if they have any classes in military customs and terms (acronyms). The more you 

understand and feel a part of your spouse’s Guard or Reserve mission, the easier it will be to adapt to the 

separations, deployments, and relocations. 

Military families often exhibit specific traits which set them apart: 

• Patriotism – the military family has a strong sense of patriotism and love of country; realizing that 

the welfare of the country and its citizens is a primary mission. 

• Adaptability – the challenges of dual careers, mobility, employer concerns, and separation, force 

families to adapt to new friends, support systems, and communities. 

• Resourcefulness – military families learn how to access resources, ask for assistance when 

necessary, be involved in their community, endure the loneliness of separation, and be selfreliant. 

Capitalize on these traits by building realistic expectations of what the military can provide you, as a 

family member. Some families think that the military should take care of their every need during 

separations. Instead, the military enhances family readiness by providing resources to assist the family 

while fostering their independence. This way, the Guard and Reserve members, civilian employees, and 

17
family members can achieve both personal and organizational readiness. Both military and civilian 

community resources are available to assist your family. Awareness and understanding of the resources 

are available and how to access them can empower you to better manage your life during times of 

deployments and separation. 

This section, Special Topics, is not intended to be comprehensive. Instead, use it as stepping stone to 

learn, reflect, and seek additional resources. The emphasis of this section is on being a military child or 

family member. Children face many changes and emotions adapting to separations and relocations 

caused by the military commitment of their parent. Separations are an inherent part of a military lifestyle. 

Learning strategies to cope with separations are essential for family stability. Your role as a nurturer and 

stabilizing force in the family is invaluable. “Reunion” and “homecoming” are uplifting words highlighting 

happy events. In reality, reunions and homecomings can be stressful as the roles and the dynamics of 

the family change. 

Your spouse’s unit and FRG can be your strongest resource for information and support for parenting, 

employer challenges, coping with separations, and experiencing homecomings and reunions. Expand 

these special topics to meet your individual needs. Share your knowledge with other military families. 

Take the time to join together to enjoy the challenges of being part of a military family. 

Parenting is a challenging role for every mother and father. Whether you have 

one child or several, you may sometimes question your parenting skills. We all 

very much want to do everything we can to nurture our children and to help 

them grow into healthy, well educated, adults with character and a proper 

attitude. As children mature, they continue to test our ability to guide and 

protect them. Beyond the natural challenge posed by raising children, external 

forces such as drugs, promiscuity, and violence all threaten our children and 

increase the complexity of parenthood. As difficult as parenting can be under 

the best of conditions, events such as family separations can increase the 

stress of parenting dramatically and have a direct impact on the happiness and 

welfare of our children. 

Military life may increase the difficulty of parenting. Military related factors may 

make your role as a parent more difficult include: 

• You may live far from your extended family and relatives who would 

otherwise be there for support and advice on raising children. 

• Military duty demands may cause prolonged and frequent family separations that place you in the 

role of a sole parent and disrupt the balance of your child’s home life. 

• Reunion with your military member at the end of a training or deployment separation may cause 

another adjustment period that disrupts family roles. 

• Military duties may send your spouse to assignments around the world – perhaps to dangerous 

locations. This is frightening for a family, especially to children. 

• The combined demands of a civilian job and military duties limit the amount of time your spouse 

can devote to the family. Your children’s welfare may be affected and you may have to bear more 

parental responsibilities. 

Raising a child, especially a child in a Guard or Reserve family, is a daunting task. Fortunately, you are 

not alone. Your extended military unit family is made up of other parents. They can serve as an invaluable 

source of advice and assistance. Often, other parents in the military unit family may be older and more 

experienced. They have “been there before” and can help you get through the most difficult times, such 

as family separations. 

Your military unit also has extensive resources to help you through the toughest of times. Your Family 

Readiness Group (FRG) is a good place to start. The FRG will be able to provide you information on 

military and community resources. In the Resources Section of this Toolkit (C3), you will find other 

sources of information. Finally, don’t forget your local community. Check the phone book for local 

government offices and independent social agencies that may be able to offer assistance. 

While there is a wide range of sources for assistance and information that can get you through troubled 

times, the job of parenting is not well suited to a reactive approach. The time to learn how to manage the 

difficult situation is not when you are entering a new phase in your child’s life or attempting to deal with a 

18
major family event such as a deployment. The stakes involved in parenting are high. Your performance 

as a parent will have a direct impact on your children’s future as well as their present welfare. Fortunately, 

there are a number of books and courses you can utilize to build and expand your parenting skills. Check 

with your FRG to see if Parent Effectiveness Training or similar training courses are available through 

your unit chaplain or other military/community resources. Check with your religious organization to see if 

they offer such training. Use the phonebook to find community 

resources, including adult education programs. You’ll find that 

these training programs can not only make you a better parent, 

but can also help you to reduce the stress and uncertainty that 

affects every parent. 

Finally, learn from the unique opportunity that your military 

association brings you. The services are comprised of a cross 

section of Americans including families from other religions, 

races, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds. Being in the military 

provides the opportunity to meet and work with new people, 

expand your friendships beyond your community and to 

experience and value the differences in others. You are a role model for your children. As they observe 

you enjoying the cultural diversity and opportunities within the military lifestyle, they will grow stronger 

themselves in their acceptance and support of people of other cultures. Take advantage of your 

opportunities, broaden your experiences, and make new friends. Strong bonds are developed between 

military families as they share the separations, crises, mission, and reunions together. Military family life 

can be rewarding, exciting, and the source of close supportive friendships. 

For other useful links, visit: 

National Military Family Association 

www.nmfa.org

Association of the United States Army 

www.ausa.org

Other helpful sites: 

www.militaryhomefront.com

www.americasupportsyou.mil

19
5. Your Family 

Family Care 

You have been trained to accomplish a mission. Is your family 

prepared for your absence? 

Whether you will be absent for an evening, a week or months, you must 

have a plan for the care of your family and the maintenance of your 

household while you are out. A viable Family Care Plan requires time, 

organization, and careful planning. A good Family Care Plan will facilitate a 

smooth transition of responsibilities to a caregiver when the service 

member leaves for brief or long periods of time. Care plans can be simple 

or complex, according to the situation. You should tailor the information 

and family/child care details for the specific individual and task: 

Simple plans are often for brief periods (4-6 hours up to a day) of time and 

can include: 

• Instructions for a babysitter (emergency numbers, bedtimes, allowed snacks) 

• Instructions for an older “latchkey” child (location of spare key, homework and television times) 

• Prior written authorization for a neighbor to pick up or drop-off your child from/to school or day 

care if you are unable to 

Plans for longer periods of time (days or weeks) can include: 

• Instructions for a neighbor to look after your house and pets while you are on vacation (lawn care, 

newspaper, mail) 

• Authorization for a camp organization to care for your child during a weekend retreat 

• Special powers of attorney for your parents or other childcare provider that will authorize their 

judgment if there is an health care emergency for your children 

Complex plans for long durations (weeks or months) can include: 

• Contract with a veterinary clinic for long term kenneling 

• Powers of attorney for authorized caregiver to make decisions for a child’s dental care, or 

education 

Who should have a Family Care Plan? 

• Single parent with custody of children under 19 years of 

age

• Dual military couples with custody of children less than 

19 years of age. (Both members are required to develop 

a Family Care Plan and place it on a standard form that 

both must sign) 

• A service member who is responsible for the care 

(housing, medical, transport, etc.) of an elderly person or 

person who is injured, chronically ill or disabled. 

Each military service has a standard form to meet the requirement for a Family Care Plan; however, your 

obligation is much more than simply completing a form for your unit to meet the requirement. It is your 

responsibility to develop a well thought out plan now which ensures your family members have the best 

resources and care during your absence. 

Look in Chapter 8, page 55 to learn more about how to create your own Family Care Plan.

20
Fundamental elements of any plan are: 

• Communication- Establishing timely and clear intention to any individual who has a role in 

supporting your plan 

• Resources-Establishing and defining what agencies or group will best assist you and support 

your plan 

• Documentation-Establishing in writing your specific desires for the support and execution of your 

plan 

Communication

How well your plans are to be executed will depend greatly on how well they are understood and able to 

be acted upon. In everything regarding family preparedness, ALL persons involved should have a solid 

concept and grasp of their responsibilities and resources. Do not plan in a vacuum. Involve your family 

(spouse, parents, siblings and children) and others (teachers, caregivers, neighbors, etc) and give them 

an opportunity to provide input to your planning efforts. Getting all parties to “buy in” to your plan will aid 

in its success. 

Whether it is a simple list of phone numbers to call in an emergency or an estate trust, providing written 

guidance is essential to clarifying your wishes. Providing your family caregiver with essential 

documentation such as a power of attorney, access to medical history information or valuable resources 

will enhance their ability to effectively support your plan. Including key individuals in your chain of 

command will also assist your efforts. 

It is imperative that you keep the lines of communication open between your unit, family, caregiver, and 

specific agencies (medical, legal, education). Be proactive. Take the extra time to personally familiarize/ 

introduce your caregiver with your medical facility staff, schools teachers, bank personnel, and clergy to 

make each party’s role clear to the other and to forestall any difficulties arising from lack of familiarity. 

Establish clear and concise guidance to all parties regarding items such as: 

• Personal Routines – discuss meal time, night time routines, and basic family schedule. 

• Comfort and Personal Items – discuss special toys, pictures and personal items that will comfort 

your children. 

• House Rules – negotiate acceptable bedtimes, TV viewing, chores and snacks, and include your 

children in the discussion. 

• Discipline – discuss your philosophy and recommend acceptable rewards, and consequences for 

misbehavior. Ask your caregiver how he or she handles situation where discipline and limit testing 

is involved. 

• Special Activities – share holiday traditions and discuss special activities and events, which are 

acceptable. If you will be away for a birthday, discuss the celebration and plan for gift giving. 

• Allowances and Finances – discuss purchases, allowances, and spending money. 

Communicating with Children

Perhaps the most critical part of your plan to care for your family is in the 

personal level of communication with them both individually and collectively. 

Little children will be especially affected by your absence and, if you expect to 

be away for some time, they need to hear directly from you about your 

expectations and plans. Share with them your feelings and take the time to 

listen and understand theirs. Be as truthful and honest as you can and let 

them know that it is normal to feel anxious. Children need your reassurance 

that everything will be alright and that you love them. Even if it is for a short 

duration with a babysitter it is essential that your children understand what is 

expected of them. Their active cooperation will support your efforts to care for 

them in your absence and will assist their caregiver. 

21
Elder Care

As a Guard or Reserve member, care giving and elder 

care takes on a different light. Leaving home for training 

and deployments can create guilt and increases the 

importance of being prepared. Learn about available 

resources, have a back-up plan, and most importantly talk 

openly with your family about their needs. 

A full assessment of every aspect of an elder’s 

environment and health is essential to establish his or her 

ability to remain safely independent. Identifying potential 

problems and risks and exploring options to reduce or 

eliminate them is critical to providing quality and 

comprehensive elder care. Follow the links below and 

also consult the Elder Care Inventory on page 58 as a 

resource for providing the best possible elder care. 

ELDER CARE IINVENTORY 

Eldercare Link – A specialized resource 

www.eldercarelink.com

US Department of Health and Human Services 

www.eldercare.gov

AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) 

www.aarp.org

Veterans Administration 

www.va.gov

Children or adult dependents with special needs 

Caring for others with special needs can be a full-time job. In reality, many caretakers and guardians 

require full-time or part-time professional assistance to balance a job and a family with care of a loved 

one who in unable to effectively care for themselves. A deployment or mobilization of any length may be 

a severe burden on one’s ability to adequately care for a person with a severe disability or illness if he or 

she is the sole caretaker. If you and your spouse share this responsibility, then only one will be left if the 

other deploys. As with elderly care, special consideration must be made regarding the facilities and extra 

assistance that may be required to care for someone with a special need. The important thing to know is 

that you are not alone. There are many organizations and agencies equipped to assist you with the best 

possible planning tools and guides to determine the best method to care for special needs children or 

adults. Below are some helpful links to assist you: 

Federation for children with special needs 

www.fcsn.org

 

Drive for Rebecca (a special needs resource) 

www.driveforrebecca.org

National Association for Adults with Special Learning Needs 

www.naasln.org

For TRICARE information on Long Term Care 

http://www.tricare.osd.mil/special_aud/longtermcare.cfm

22
Family Emergencies 

Whether you are deployed or at home, your family should have a plan to cover accidents, emergencies 

and possibly disasters. How well you and your family members think through the many possible 

scenarios that you could face will determine how well you will likely handle them. If you are injured at 

work and are unable to pick up your children from school, do you have an alternate plan? The Family 

Care Plan is a good tool for helping you and your command plan for certain events, but it is not allencompassing. More specific and detailed guidance is needed. 

What is your plan if a tornado strikes your house? If you and your family are away from home and cannot 

immediately return due to a disaster such as a hurricane or flood, where will you go? How will you get 

there? The Family Planning for an Emergency or Disaster Guide in chapter 8, page 43 is a 

comprehensive tool to help you plan for events that may have long-term and lasting effects. You will find 

valuable supply ideas to help you prepare for nearly any event from house fires to floods. 

Who do you call for household emergencies such as an inadvertent poisoning or to report a burglary? 

(911 is not always the correct answer.) Included on page 60 of this toolkit is an example of an 

Emergency Contacts sheet that can help you organize the many contact numbers required to make a 

dental appointment or to report a suspicious activity in your neighborhood. Tailor the sample directory for 

your own use and put it in a prominent place for handy reference for you or a babysitter in an emergency. 

Teach your children who to call and how to conduct themselves on the phone. Click: 

Family Separations

Although they are a fact of life in military service, separations from loved ones are never easy. In this 

chapter are two similar, but distinctly different, guides to help you plan for and cope with long term 

separations due to deployments or other reasons. Keep in mind that the principles outlined are applicable 

to separations of both long and short durations. Each Family Separations chapter offers two different 

perspectives of parallel subjects: That of the service member and that of the spouse or child / guardian. 

Both have useful viewpoints to consider, so it will be helpful for you and your family, spouse or significant 

other to read them both in your deployment preparation efforts. The hard work of getting your unit ready 

for mobilization, attending to every administrative detail from wills to water bills and empowering your 

spouse, caregiver or trustee is put to the test with every time a service member departs on a mission. 

Your morale, as well as your readiness depends on your preparations. Here are two resources located in 

Chapter 8 that are customized from two perspectives to assist you or your family to cope with separations 

resulting from deployments, mobilizations or even temporary duties (TDYs) away from home. 

Family Separations: The Member’s Perspective on page 31 

Family Separations: The Spouse’s Perspective on page 37

23
6. Departing and returning to your civilian career 

Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Civil Relief Act (SSCRA) 

The Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Civil Relief Act of 1940 (SSCRA), as amended, was passed by Congress to 

provide protection for individuals entering or called to active duty in the military service. It is intended to 

postpone or suspend certain civil obligations to enable 

service members to devote full attention to duty. Reservists 

and the members of the National Guard are protected under 

the SSCRA while on active duty. The protection begins on 

the date of entering active duty and generally terminates 

within 30 to 90 days after the date of discharge from active 

duty. 

Protection Offered by the SSCRA 

You and your spouse should make the SSCRA part of your family readiness planning. If you believe that 

deployment will result in a significant decrease in income that will impact on your ability to meet your 

financial obligations, your planning should include taking steps to notify your creditors, landlord, and 

mortgage company of your deployment and intent to seek protection under the Act. Here are some of the 

ways in which the act can work for you. 

• Termination of Leases 

• Eviction Protection 

• Installment Contracts and Mortgage Foreclosures 

• Default Judgments 

• Stay of Proceedings 

• Taxation 

• Maximum Rate of Interest 

• Stay of Execution of Judgments/Attachments 

• Insurance Provisions 

Uniformed Services Employment and Reemployment Rights Act of 1994 (USERRA)

USERRA Features 

Scope of Coverage: USERRA provides protection to anyone absent from 

a position of civilian employment because of uniformed service if: 

1) Advance written or verbal notice was given to the civilian employer 

2) The cumulative length of absence(s) does not exceed 5 years and 

The person’s character of service was not adverse. 

Civilian Job Rights and Protections 

Reemployment rights with a civilian employer are protected under chapter 

43 of title 38, United States Code. USERRA, is a law which provides a broad range of civilian job protections. 

Returning to Work 

A service member must report to work or submit an application for reemployment within a specified period 

based on duration of service. The Period of Service/Return/Apply to Return to Work 

table below contains the limits specified for returning to work: 

Less than 31 days Return no later than the first full regularly scheduled work period on the first full 

calendar day 

More than 30 days but Apply no later than 14 days 

less than 181 days 

More than 180 days Apply no later than 90 days 

24
It is worth noting that failure to report to work or make timely application does not automatically result in loss of 

reemployment rights, but does subject the service member to the rules of conduct, policies and general 

practices established by the employer, which may result in loss of USERRA protections. There are certain 

circumstances under which a civilian employer may not be required to reemploy a service member. However, 

the employer has the burden of proving reemployment is not possible within those circumstances. For tips to 

prepare for your deployment, visit: 

http://www.esgr.org/ 

For a copy of the Layman’s Guide to USERRA: 

http://www.dol.gov/vets/whatsnew/userraguide0704.rtf

 

Health Care Plans 

When you are on active duty, family members may continue under your employer health coverage for up to 18 

months. However, unless you notify your employer that you wish to continue coverage, your family coverage 

could be dropped. If you do not choose to continue coverage under your employer’s health plan while you are 

on active duty, you and any previously covered family members are entitled to be fully reinstated to your 

previous family health care plan without a waiting period or penalties when you return to work. 

Pension and Plans 

Employees are to be treated as if no absence in employment occurred and may make up contributions to an 

employee pension benefit plan. Employers are also required to fund any obligation attributable to the 

employer of the employee’s benefit pension plan. 

Employer Support for Guard and Reserves (ESGR) 

A person experiencing problems with civilian employment or reemployment may 

contact the National Committee for Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve 

(ESGR) for assistance toll free at 1-800-336-4590. If an employer has failed or 

refused, or is about to fail or refuse, to comply with employment or reemployment 

rights and benefits, an individual protected by USERRA may also file a complaint with the Assistant Secretary 

for Veterans’ Employment and Training at the Department of Labor. Visit UERRA resources at: 

 

For a by-state directory of ESGR Regional Contacts: 

http://www.esgr.org/contact.asp

Spreading the Word 

Once you have established care for your family while you are away, consider 

how you wish to be supported. Your morale will rely on the communication and 

support of loved ones and friends back home while you are deployed. Make a list 

of people that you want to know about your deployment. Whether they are 

friends with whom you wish to correspond or a neighbor who you ask to keep an 

eye on your property, it is beneficial for them to have a way to contact you. 

Provide for family and friends:

• Your unit’s name information

• Your complete mailing address or email address

• Your travel itinerary and plans 

25
7. Relocation Resources 

Relocation 

During your association with the Guard or Reserve, you may desire or be required to relocate. 

Moving can be an exciting experience. New jobs, new homes, and new communities can expand your 

horizons and quality of life. At the same time, relocating can be a significant challenge requiring detailed 

research and planning. No matter how excited you may be the move and the required organization and 

preparation may seem to be overwhelming. There are so many variables to consider: 

• Family travel and the movement of household goods 

• Housing 

• Schools 

• Employment 

• Child care 

• Healthcare – medical and dental 

Whether you are moving due to a civilian or military job change, the 

Department of Defense (DoD) and the services have created a wide 

range of Internet resources to assist in your relocation. The Military 

Assistance Program (MAP) website, sponsored by the Deputy 

Assistant Secretary of Defense for Military Community and Family 

Policy, can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/mapsite/. It offers 

information and links regarding such topics as relocation, employment, 

child and youth services, and financial management. Check out the 

Operation Military Homefront relocation page for helpful checklists and tips to plan your move. Key your 

current location and your new location into the relocation builder link and it maps out exactly what you 

need to do each week before the big move. Another good resource is the Transportation and Travel 

Pamphlet, It’s Your Move, updated 1 October 2006. 

Other useful Internet resources are local web pages created for specific locations. Using a search 

engine, you can locate information on the Chamber of Commerce, local schools, employment, and 

housing. If you do not have access to the Internet, every service Family Service Center has a relocation 

section with information, pamphlets, and addresses for other military installations. 

You can also use national commercial web sites such as http://www.realtor.com to research home prices 

and availability. Keep in mind that these are commercial web sites and not official sources of information. 

With the wealth of available resources online and through your local military installation, researching your 

new location can be relatively easy. However, planning and organizing the move can be the most 

challenging and important event. Preparation is the key when making a move. You are in charge of your 

move. The time and effort you put into planning the move will determine how much stress and financial 

impact you will experience. 

Start by making a list of every task that must be accomplished. Work together with your spouse and other 

family members to make sure you identify every essential task. As a minimum, consider adding the 

following to your list: 

• Notify your unit commander. Identify new unit close 

to your new home and research transferring to a 

new unit. 

• Complete postal change of address. 

• Notify utility companies of your move. 

• Notify all creditors, banks where you have an 

account, and other commercial activities of your new 

address. 

• Notify life and property insurance companies of your 

new address. If you have homeowners or renters 

insurance arrange for coverage during the move and 

coverage in your new home. 

26
• Close old bank accounts and open new ones. Notify your employer, your military organization, 

and any other activity making direct deposits to your bank account. 

• If leaving your current employer, provide the employer a forwarding address for tax withholding 

statements (W2 form). 

• Collect school records. 

• Research rules and procedures governing enrollment of your children in new schools. 

• Collect medical records if appropriate. 

• Notify your landlord (if appropriate) of planned departure date and arrange for a walkthrough so 

that you can qualify for the return of all or part of your security deposit. 

• Contact a realtor to sell your current home (if appropriate) and assist you in the purchase of a 

new home. 

• Register your vehicle in your new state (if appropriate). 

• Research jobs in new community (if appropriate). 

Once you’ve completed your list of required activities, start setting a 

schedule for accomplishing each task. Use a calendar or create a 

chronological list of requirements. As you complete each action, check 

it off. To make sure there are no doubts about what you did, write 

down the date you completed the action and how you did it (e.g., 

completed change of address form and mailed it to Sears Credit with 

my May 2001 credit card payment). Stick to your schedule as much as 

possible. Delayed requirements can quickly build up to the point 

where you and your family will suffer. 

Don’t forget that this is a family move, not a military operation. 

While an organized approach is essential to a successful moving 

experience, there are other less obvious issues to consider. 

Relocation and emotions are closely intertwined for all family 

members. Communicate with each other. Listen with care when your 

children share their concerns about leaving their familiar neighborhood 

making new friends. Be aware of your own feelings and be patient. It is normal to feel apprehensive, 

irritable, and excited. Encourage your children to stay in touch with friends. It is not hard to put a positive 

spin on the move and your attitude towards the event can be contagious. Take each day one day at a 

time. Making helpful checklists and careful preparations will ease your stress and consequently ease the 

stress on your family. Living at a new location provides opportunities to broaden your horizons and can 

be an experience that brings your family closer together. Good luck! 

27
8. Toolkit Resources / Web Links

Toolkit Resources 

You are not alone. The military and your community stand ready to give 

you assistance whenever you need it. Knowing how to get the 

information you need is essential to your family’s readiness. 

Your unit Family Readiness Group is likely to be the first place to look 

for information on support resources in your local area. Additional 

information on valuable Internet resources is outlined below. The 

internet, or World Wide Web, is easy to use and once you get 

comfortable “navigating” web sites it will become truly indispensable. 

The Value of Search Engines and the Internet 

There has been a vast movement by nearly every person, business, or agency to move their information 

resources to the World Wide Web. The internet is likely the best tool you can employ to gather 

information about virtually any subject on earth, in little or no time . If you do not have a personal 

computer at home or do not have web access, there are many places you can turn to get internet access; 

Some FSGs and a majority of libraries offer web access if you do not have a computer or web access at 

home. Otherwise, almost any public library, college or university offers access to the internet. If you are 

not sure exactly where to go to find information about any specific topic, probably the best place to start is 

with a search engine site. Simply type in the subject you desire to find, such as “family readiness” and 

follow the suggested links. Below are only just a few of the many useful search engine links available: 

www.google.com

www.dogpile.com

www.mamma.com

www.lycos.com

www.altavista.com

Military Service Family Readiness Programs 

Every branch of the DoD Armed Forces has made Family Readiness and Support their top priority. It is 

an honor and privilege to “take care of our own”. There is no reason whatsoever that anyone should 

hesitate to avail themselves of the many resources to assist you and your family. Every service branch 

and agency is easily identifiable and accessible on the World-Wide Web, with many toll-free contact 

numbers for those who do not have internet access. Visit readiness program links: 

http://www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil

http://www.myarmylifetoo.com

http://www.lifelines.navy.mil

http://www.usmc-mccs.org/

 

http://www.afcrossroads.com

http://www.uscg.mil/reserve/

28
OSD Resources: Useful Websites 

The Office of the Secretary of Defense (OSD) has several excellent resource listings online for your use. 

At each of the websites below, you will find well organized sources of useful information which will help 

you help yourself or get in touch with the appropriate person or organization that can best meet your 

needs, enrich your military family experience and provide valuable insights into work-life problems you 

may encounter all along the way. If you have a specific issue that this guidebook or our website has not 

addressed, or if you are unable to resolve an issue through normal assistance channels, please do not 

hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or have ideas regarding how we can continue to improve 

our military support services for you and your family. Feedback is welcomed. 

The following site is a great place to start for a broad array of US Government, DoD, Military Service, 

Family Readiness and General Information sites. Simply follow the links: 

http://www.defenselink.mil/ra

 

http://www.defenselink.mil See Special Interest Section 

http://www.militaryhomefront.mil Look under Deployment Support 

 

http://www.commanderspage.dod.mil/

http://www.Military.com/spouse

 

http://www.Military.com/support

 

Other Helpful Family Readiness Guides 

There are many, many other guides published to provide Family Readiness and Deployment Preparation 

assistance. Although there are too many to list in this guide, two of the better, more comprehensive 

publications are listed below. Just click on the bold blue link to access these guides. 

Readiness Edge (an excellent Air Force publication) 

USAA Deployment Guide

 

National Military Family Association’s Publications

Useful Web Site Keywords for Reference and Assistance 

This list contains only a few of the many agencies that provide online resources with information to 

enhance your family’s sense of readiness and self-reliance. Choose from the list to meet your personal 

and family needs. Since many URLs (web addresses) change regularly, we have given you the agency 

you may enter in any search engine to retrieve the latest URL for your search. As important as the 

Internet may be as a source of information, you may need direct assistance. The majority of web pages 

have toll-free telephone numbers you can use to address specific questions you may have. (Look under 

the “Contact Us” links either at the top or bottom of the web page.) Just enter the Keyword(s) in the 

search engine and you are on your way. It has never been as easier to access so much information! 

1) American Red Cross 

2) Armed Services YMCA of the USA 

3) Boys and Girls Club of America 

4) Chamber of Commerce (local) 

5) Chaplain 

6) Child Development Program 

7) Children, Youth and Families Education and Research Network 

8) Civilian Personnel Office 

29
9) Cooperative Extension Service 

10) Department of Social Services 

11) Department of Defense Education Activity 

12) Department of Veterans Affairs 

13) Deployment Health 

14) DoD Electronic Forms 

15) Drug and Alcohol Programs (also known as Community Counseling Center) 

16) Education Center 

17) Employee Assistance Program 

18) Exceptional Family Member Program 

19) Family Advocacy 

20) Family Advocacy Program Information 

21) Family Service Center 

22) Federal, State, County, and Local Human Service Agencies 

23) Financial Counseling 

24) General Services Administration (GSA) 

25) Information and Referral 

26) Inspector General 

27) Legal Assistance 

28) Libraries 

29) Medical Department Activity (MEDDAC) and other medical facilities 

30) Military Children and Youth 

31) Military Teens on the Move 

32) Military Transition 

33) National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health (NCEMCH) 

34) National Military Family Association (NMFA) 

35) National Parent Information Network 

36) National Youth Development Information Center (NYDIC) 

37) Office of Personnel Management 

38) Ombudsman 

39) Public Health Department of _____________ (place state or city in blank) 

40) Relief Societies: 

• Air Force Aid Society 

• Army Emergency Relief 

• Coast Guard Mutual Assistance 

• Navy – Marine Corps Relief Society 

41) Rand Institute 

42) Relocation Assistance 

43) Salvation Army 

44) Savings Bonds 

45) Standard Installation Topic Exchange Service (SITES) 

46) Transition Assistance Program (TAP, ACAP, etc.) 

47) TRICARE 

48) Unit Family Readiness Group (FRG) 

49) United Concordia 

50) United Services Organization (USO) 

51) United Way Agencies 

52) Veterans Administration 

53) Veterans of Foreign Wars, American Legion, Disabled Veterans Association 

30
Family Separations: The Member’s Perspective 

After your unit has deployed will be too late to realize that a 

signature missing from a document or that you do not know 

where important items are located. The less time between 

notification and actual deployment of your unit, the greater the 

probability that important items will be left unchecked from any 

pre-deployment checklist. A unit does not have to deploy or 

leave for training for the preparation to begin. Start a “To Do” 

list. While it may be possible to over-prepare for a possible 

deployment or mobilization, the odds of that happening are 

very unlikely. There are often far too many “moving parts” our 

lives and sometimes it is a challenge to make all ends meet 

when you are still at home. Take nothing for granted. Even if your spouse is superb at putting plans 

together and preparing your family for a deployment, important things could be inadvertently missed. If 

you are able to plan ahead and organize through your own perspective of balancing a military and 

civilian career, the strain and rush of an unexpected separation will be less stressful. Last minute rushing 

produces needless family worry and tension. By looking ahead and anticipating the likelihood of a 

separation, both you and your spouse can adequately plan and develop the best strategies to fit your 

family. 

Remember: Once you deploy, the responsibility for your household rests with your spouse or trustee. 

Ultimately you are responsible for knowing your rights, privileges, and available resources. 

In many ways, it can be just as difficult to keep the home fires burning as it is for you to be far away in 

possibly austere conditions. As with most things in life, preparation and information are the keys to 

dealing with separations. Prior planning and open discussions with your spouse or trustee and other 

family members will make it easier to deal with the new responsibilities they will have to shoulder. Talking 

about your concerns with your family can help you both deal with your emotions. Information about the 

availability of resources and basic organizational skills are the foundation for a successful and hopefully 

uneventful separation. Knowing yourself and your own level of coping skills will help you adjust your 

support system accordingly. Be realistic. 

There are four distinct identifiable stages of the departure and reunion cycle that most family members go 

through. Both spouses and children often demonstrate emotions through their behavior. Children will 

often mirror or mimic the emotional feelings of their remaining parent. Consider these four stages: 

• Denial/ Protest: “It’s not fair that you have to leave us.” Everyone is apprehensive and often 

irritable. Spouses or family members left behind may feel tense, angry, or resentful. 

• Despair: “How will I ever live through these next few months without you?” Spouses may become 

restless and have difficulty sleeping through the night. Family members may feel fearful. You 

may wonder why you decided to stay in the military. 

• Detachment: “Why does he or she have to be away when I need them the most?” While family 

members may feel confident they can handle day-to-day living, they may also experience despair 

and anger. You may feel guilt about putting them in that situation. 

• Reunion adjustment: Anxiety and doubts surface. “Will he/she still love me?” “Will I like the 

decisions that he/she made while I was gone?” Family roles may have changed. Spouses may 

become very comfortable handling day-to-day finances and household decisions. Children may 

have a new schedule or mealtime plan. You may feel like a fifth wheel until you re-integrate into 

the family routine. 

Communication 

Honest and open communication with everyone who may be affected by your deployment is essential to 

the planning process. If you plan in vacuum, important details vital to your support planning could be left 

out. Actively involve family members with the planning and preparation for the deployment. People in 

your community (clergy, teachers, neighbors and friends) may also need to understand or be familiar with 

your family situation. Make a list of who you and your spouse or trustee can count on to listen, spend time 

31
with or seek for assistance, if needed. Are you close to your neighbors? Does your family (parents, 

siblings) or your spouse’s family live near by? How about colleagues at work? Are you a member of a 

church? Are you in any organizations? Are you involved in the unit Family Readiness Group (FRG)? Talk 

to these people or organizations before your departure. Share your apprehension and needs. Build your 

support system before the deployment. 

Saying Farewell 

Perhaps the most stressful time for you and your family will be the day or moment you deploy. It is as 

difficult to watch a ship or aircraft carrying you slowly vanish 

into the horizon as it is for you to see home getting smaller as 

you depart, but it does provide a threshold through which you 

can begin to resume everyday life during the deployment. If it 

is possible, bring your children to your of departure even if you 

must take them out of school for this significant event. The 

more they feel a part of the process, the better they may cope. 

After your departure, have them participate in a planned activity 

to make the day more special and less difficult. It may be 

difficult for them to return to an empty house immediately. 

Everyone can get over the “first day hurdle” with the help of 

friends and family before resuming family routines and time schedule. You will have plenty to keep you 

occupied as you travel enroute and that activity will help you focus on your mission and cope. 

Routines

There is comfort in routines. Arrange to keep the children’s activities and schedules the same, if possible. 

You can use the deployment to teach your children about the world. Get out a map or globe and show 

where you are going. Talk to their teachers and inform them that you will be gone for an extended period 

of time. This will help their teachers understand any mood or behavior changes in your children, should 

they occur, and may also cause them to be extra understanding during this time. Make your 

communication with those back home an important part of your everyday routine. Be sure to involve your 

children. If children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings they will learn to become 

better adjusted to the situation, paying big dividends to their ability to cope and behave well. It is 

important for your spouse or trusted guardian to maintain consistency with the caring and discipline of 

children as if you or both parents were at home. It is very natural for children to try to take advantage and 

push some limits with one parent gone. A stable home life is critical for their emotional and psychological 

adjustment and consistent rules and daily schedule provide stability and structure for the whole family. 

Temporarily relocating to be closer to Family 

If your spouse and / or your children need to relocate to be closer to 

family back home or with a guardian, attempting to preserve some 

sense of routine may be challenging. It is not uncommon for spouses, 

especially those without a career or who are expecting a child, to 

return home to their parents for the extra support they may need. If a 

parent or guardian is looking after your children, it is important to allow 

time for everyone to adjust to the new arrangements. Although there i

a great convenience with relocating to a safer or more comfortable 

area, there will also be difficulties associated (i.e. school, friends or 

group activities) with this kind of temporary location. If at all possible, attempt to establish your family in 

the new location well before deploying to ensure you can assist with any problems that may initially arise. 

Because everyone may have to make some difficult adjustments, there may be a bit of stress involved. 

Do what you can to minimize that stress by planning as much as you can for possible difficulties with the 

arrangement. If your spouse and or children move to a location far away, it will be difficult for you to feel 

at ease since you may not be familiar with their new surroundings. If your dwelling is left unoccupied, 

there will need to be someone there to keep an eye on it. In any case, it is critical for you for you and 

your family to realize this: 

s 

The more moving parts to your plan, the more stressful and difficult it will be to execute. 

32
Even if you don’t have Children... 

For members without children, ensure your spouse or significant other stays active. Keep options open 

for new opportunities which will benefit their well-being and perhaps even enhance your marriage or 

relationship. Maybe this is the time to take a class that interests them (language, art, or new skill) or to 

start a new project. Although it may be difficult to for them to live at home alone, have friends call or have 

family or friends visit. Assess what are going to be stressors for your spouse back home and tell them not 

to try to do it all. 

Many Ways to Stay Connected 

Communication during a separation plays a critical role in 

maintaining an emotional balance for you as well as for your family 

or significant others. Everyone benefits when you are able to 

communicate with friends and loved ones back home. There are, of 

course, many conventional (and some unconventional) ways to stay 

in touch: 

• Postal service 

• Email 

• Telephone

• Video Teleconference 

It is very important for family members to share their thoughts, feelings, and information about daily 

events with you while you are away. Ensure that your unit address is accurate and get others involved 

with supporting you while you are away. Letters are inexpensive and one of the most satisfactory ways to 

stay in touch. Military postal systems are usually set up near your unit and it can take at least a week for 

packages to arrive. Because you may be very busy with unit mission activities spare time may be scarce. 

Sending and receiving short notes more frequently and regularly may be more convenient than 

composing long letters. Request that interesting newspaper articles, school papers from your hometown 

are sent to you. Be Advised: Units and Ships are often on the move and it can take much longer for your 

package or letter to “catch up” to you as well as for correspondence to be sent back home. Regular 

correspondence is essential to your morale, but be realistic and do not feel obligated to write home every 

day or expect daily mail. 

E-mail is convenient and no one needs to worry about time 

zones or the best time of day to call. Some units have a family 

readiness center with computers available for you to use. 

Commercial telephone is still one of the best means to 

communicate. The cost of calling or availability of calling 

cards may be prohibitive and may also depend upon the 

location of your unit and access to telephones but, as the old 

commercial states: “it is the next best thing to being there”. 

Video teleconference (VTC) capability is also a growing 

means of staying in touch and is an even better way than 

telephone to communicate. Your unit or associated MWR 

activity may also be able to provide this service to you. Ensure your spouse or guardian / trustee stays in 

contact with the unit and its FRG. They are the best source of information on what is happening in your 

unit during the deployment and what resources are available to them. 

Be yourself and express your feelings to your spouse and/or your children. Let everyone know how much 

you appreciate the letters, e-mails, and any pictures that they have sent. Mention in your letters one or 

two things that make you feel especially close to your family. Whatever you do, try not to read too much 

into the frequency and content of letters from your loved ones while you are overseas. Emotions can 

fluctuate (sometimes wildly) on both ends of the communication line and misunderstandings can result. 

Remember that letters can take a long time to arrive from both sides, so it can become very stressful for 

everyone if they anxiously “camp out” at the mailbox waiting for word from home. 

33
A final note: While it is extremely important to be honest and open with each other while your family is 

apart, it is equally important to gauge just how much and what kind of information is exchanged. 

Remember that communication is there to re-enforce bonds of trust and care. Be considerate. Discuss 

with your spouse and family about “dumping” the truly unimportant details of their everyday experiences 

especially when you are often limited to a short amount of time (telephone or VTC). Not only will they 

waste valuable time discussing minor matters (i.e. a leaky faucet or a dented fender), they will 

inadvertently emphasize the distance between you since there is truly nothing you can do about these 

sorts of matters. In the same vein, try to avoid sharing stressful or distressing events of your deployment, 

as well. Likewise, if you are feeling distressed there is very little they can do to alleviate your feelings or 

stress. Focusing on positives instead of negatives will make your opportunities for bridging the distance 

both beneficial and uplifting. 

Day-to-day life on their own 

Many military spouses, children and families find strengths they never knew they had during a unit 

deployment. With time their confidence will grow and they will become comfortable with the new routine. 

Teach them to make the most of the situation and “make lemons into lemonade”. However, you should 

consider that it is important not to drastically change their home environment while you are deployed. 

Unless you and your spouse or significant other have both agreed on and carefully planned for it, it is 

probably not a great idea to buy a new house or finance a drastic home remodeling project. It may be 

more stress than they can handle alone and it will certainly be more difficult for you to adjust to when he 

or she returns. Their new routine should not be so different that it will be difficult to re-integrate yourself 

into it once more. It is absolutely essential to remember that the day will soon come when your unit 

returns and it may be challenging to fall back into older habits and routines. 

Reunions and Homecoming 

Although it will be a great relief to have you back from harm’s way, it is quite 

common for communication between you and your spouse and the family to be 

initially strained. So much has happened. Separation and time will have an 

influence on everyone and, while change can be good, it always takes some 

time to adapt. We all have a picture in our minds of the ideal or picture-perfect 

“happily ever after” homecoming. While homecomings are always a time of 

celebration, if your and your spouse and /or children have been apart a long 

time, it is easy to set unrealistically high expectations for your return. Reunions 

are often accompanied by an adjustment of roles for everyone. Even if you are 

returning from the ends of the world back to your little slice of paradise, the 

transition back to normal routines will likely take days, if not weeks, to smoothly 

navigate. Try to be realistic and understanding. It is very normal for everyone t

feel the very same feelings of apprehension and fear as they did before the 

deployment. Children especially may have more difficulty adjusting to a return 

than adults. Children will likely have: 

o 

• Grown physically and mentally 

• Possibly become more attached or dependent on the stay-at-home parent or guardian 

• Unresolved issues involving separation from their parent 

• Greater difficulty adjusting to the “old” routines 

 

Both spouses will also have some significant adjustments to make as well. A lot 

of time and significant events may have passed during the deployment and it 

may not be easy adjusting to: 

• Gains or loss in weight 

• New hairstyles 

• New Friends and acquaintances 

• New children (if your spouse had your child while you were gone) 

 

The days and weeks following the return home may be challenging, but it is 

important to emphasize the bonds that have kept everyone connected even 

34
when they were far apart. Everyone should show each other how much they care by giving each other a 

little extra attention and time to adjust. There will likely be a long list of things that need to be “backbriefed” from everyone and these things will take more than just a few days to share them. 

Remember: Too much information can often be worse than not enough. 

Some tips on ensuring that you cover the things that are important to you and the family: 

• Be Patient: Give yourself and your spouse time to get back into the swing of things. 

• Be Considerate: You want to catch up, but it you may be overwhelmed with all of the latest news. 

• Be Organized: Make a list of items to discuss, preferably by degree of importance. This will help 

you keep your thoughts focused and clear and will greatly assist everyone to smoothly transition. 

• Be Realistic: A lot has happened to everyone. 

While it may be tempting to take that long planned family trip to Hawaii or the Bahamas, it is a good idea 

to get everyone involved with the planning. A vacation immediately following a reunion may seem like a 

great idea, but there are drawbacks. Remember, there are lots of moving parts that need to work again in 

unison; picture-perfect reunions are very rare and difficult to make happen. 

You will also likely undergo a challenging transition to your regular job. It may have changed. Your 

position or responsibilities may be different. The new work routine will also require some adjustments. 

Do not hesitate to share your feelings and seek the space or consideration you need to adapt to all that is 

happening. 

Every reunited family is going to have to do some work to get it all together once again, so do not panic if 

things do not go as smoothly as you have hoped or planned. On the other hand, you should understand 

that there is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help if things get too difficult. For some 

couples, counseling may be helpful in gaining insight into your relationship and assist in rebuilding roles 

and lines of communication. Refrain from addressing your marital issues in front of your children. Military 

chaplains or pastors are great resources for advice and can assist with finding specialized assistance. 

Be Gracious 

Thank everyone who has supported you– family, neighbors, teachers, and church members have been 

there for you and your family through the deployment. Find a way to them know you appreciate and 

value their contributions even if it was their job to do so. You will truly make their day!

Reflect on the experience

Even more than before the deployment, communication 

between family members is an essential element in 

reunion. Focus on happy memories. Discuss the difficult 

memories or events that happened, but try to focus on 

the positive aspects and outcomes. Turn negative 

experiences into learning opportunities. We all grow f

the experiences we have and share. Make the best o

your deployment and take it day by day. You may loo

back on it as a personally enriching opportunity where 

everyone has learned new skills and truly appreciate 

how self-sufficient they can be. Turn the challenge o

separation into an opportunity for self-discovery, gro

and a stronger family unity. 

rom 

f 

k 

f 

wth, 

35
Returning from a Combat Zone 

If you are returning from a combat environment, there may be 

some other issues that may not become apparent for days, 

weeks or months after your return. While some service 

members make the transition home with few difficulties, others 

may need a little more assistance to handle the drastic changes 

that may have occurred. It is very important that your spouse or 

family is aware of the challenges faced by returning combat 

veterans and know that there is a vast array of support a

and people specifically trained to offer assistance. Below are 

just a few of the support agencies that you can consult: 

gencies 

ATTENTION! 

PTSD Does not apply only to combat. If y use has experienced any traumatic event 

epartment of Veterans Affairs - National Center for PTSD 

ou or your spo

(i.e. assault, severe accident, death of a loved one or loss of a job) PTSD symptoms may occur. 

In any case, seek professional help. It is very difficult to go it alone. 

D

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/

PTSD Alliance

http://www.ptsdalliance.org/home2.html

Vietnam Veterans of America PTSD Guide 

http://www.vva.org/benefits/ptsd.htm

Military Veterans PTSD Manual 

http://www.ptsdmanual.com/

 

36
Family Separations: The Spouse’s Perspective 

o realize that a 

ten 

nd preparing you for a 

anize 

emember: Once your spouse deploys, the responsibility for your household rests with you. Ultimately 

 many ways, it can be just as difficult to keep the home fires burning as it is for 

will 

ct identifiable stages of the departure and reunion cycle that most family members go 

n 

• nths without you?” Spouses may become 

• amily 

r 

• t: Anxiety and doubts surface. “Will he/she still love me?” “Will he/she like 

 new 

ommunication 

ommunication with everyone who may be affected by a deployment is essential to the 

After your service members unit has deployed will be too late t

signature missing from a document or that you do not know where important 

items are located. The less time between notification and actual deployment 

of your spouses unit, the greater the probability that important items will be 

left unchecked from any pre-deployment checklist. A unit does not have to 

deploy or leave for training for the preparation to begin. Start a “To Do” list. 

While it may be possible to over-prepare for a possible deployment or 

mobilization, the odds of that happening are very unlikely. There are of

far too many “moving parts” our lives and sometimes it is a challenge to 

make all ends meet when your spouse is still at home. Take nothing for

granted. Even if your military spouse is superb at putting plans together a

deployment, important things could be inadvertently missed. If you are able to plan ahead and org

through your own perspective of everyday life while your spouse is deployed, the strain and rush of an 

unexpected separation will be less stressful. Last minute rushing produces needless family worry and 

tension. By looking ahead and anticipating the likelihood of a separation, both you and your spouse can

adequately plan and develop the best strategies to fit your family. 

R

you are responsible for knowing your rights, privileges, and available resources. 

In

the service member to be far away in possibly austere conditions. As with most 

things in life, preparation and information are the keys to dealing with separations. 

Prior planning and open discussions with your deploying spouse and other family 

members will make it easier to deal with the new responsibilities you will have to 

shoulder. Talking about your concerns with your spouse can help you both deal 

with your emotions. Information about the military, availability of resources, and 

basic organizational skills are the foundation for a successful and hopefully 

uneventful separation. Knowing yourself and your own level of coping skills 

help you adjust your support system accordingly. Be realistic. 

There are four distin

through. Both spouses and children often demonstrate emotions through their behavior. Children will 

often mirror or mimic the emotional feelings of their remaining parent. Consider these four stages: 

• Denial/ Protest: “It’s not fair that you have to leave us.” Everyone is apprehensive and ofte

irritable. Spouses may feel tense, angry, or resentful. 

Despair: “How will I ever live through these next few mo

restless and have difficulty sleeping through the night. Family members may feel fearful. 

Detachment: “Why does he or she have to be away when I need them the most?” While f

members may feel confident they can handle day-to-day living, they may also experience despai

and anger. 

Reunion adjustmen

the decisions that I made?” Family roles may have changed. Spouses may become very 

comfortable handling day-to-day finances and household decisions. Children may have a

schedule or mealtime plan. 

C

Honest and open c

planning process. If the service member plans in a vacuum, important details and even individual vital to 

support the planning could be left out. Actively involve family members with the planning and preparation 

for the deployment. People in your community (clergy, teachers, neighbors and friends) may also need 

to understand or be familiar with your family situation. Make a list of who you can count on to listen, 

spend time with or seek for assistance, if needed. Are you close to your neighbors? Does your family

(parents, siblings) or your spouse’s family live near by? How about colleagues at work? Are you a 

37
member of a church? Are you in any organizations? Are you involved in the unit Family Readiness 

Group? Talk to these people or organizations before your spouse’s departure. Share your apprehe

and needs. Build your support system before the deployment. 

nsion 

aying Farewell

stressful time for you and your family will be 

h 

can 

ey 

ur 

amily Routines

 routines. Keep the children’s activities and schedules the same, if possible. You can 

rt 

versations 

some 

m

y relocating to be closer to Family 

 you and your children choose to relocate to be closer to family back 

ne may be 

arents 

t 

e 

e may have to make some difficult 

it 

o execute. 

S

Perhaps the most 

the day or moment your loved one deploys. It is difficult to watc

a ship or aircraft carrying him or her slowly vanish into the 

horizon, but it does provide a threshold through which you 

begin to resume everyday life during the deployment. If it is 

possible, take the children to your spouse’s point of departure

even if you must take them out of school for this significant 

event. The more they feel a part of the process, the better th

may cope. After the departure, participate in a planned activity to

make the day more special and less difficult. There is no need to 

return to an empty house immediately. Get over the “first day 

hurdle” with the help of friends and family and then resume yo

family routines and time schedule. 

F

There is comfort in

use the deployment to teach your children about the world. Get out a map or globe and show where the 

unit is going. Talk to their teachers and inform them that one parent is gone for an extended period of 

time. This will help their teachers understand any mood or behavior changes, should they occur, and 

may also cause them to be extra understanding during this time. Make communication an important pa

of your everyday routine. Use mealtime as an opportunity for family con

and planning for when to write a letter or type an e-mail message. Involve the 

children in the entire daily process. If children feel comfortable expressing their 

thoughts and feelings they will learn to become better adjusted to the situation, 

paying big dividends to their ability to cope and behave well. It is important to 

maintain consistency with the caring and discipline of children as if both parents 

were at home. It is very natural for children to try to take advantage and push 

limits with one parent gone. A stable home life is critical for their emotional and 

ent and consistent rules and daily schedule provide stability and structure for the 

whole family. Spend special time with your children, but try to keep the daily routines the same. 

Temporaril

psychological adjust

If

home, attempting to preserve some sense of routi

challenging. It is not uncommon for spouses, especially those without 

a career or who are expecting a child, to return home to their p

for the extra support they may need. It is important to allow time for 

everyone to adjust to the new arrangements. Although there is a grea

convenience with relocating to a safer or more comfortable area, ther

will also be difficulties associated (i.e. school, friends or group 

activities) with this kind of temporary relocation. If at all possible, 

attempt to establish your family in the new location well before the d

assist with any problems that may initially arise. Because everyon

adjustments, there may be a bit of stress involved. Do what you can to minimize that stress by planning 

as much as you can for possible difficulties with the arrangement. If you move to a location far away, 

may be difficult for you to feel at ease since you may not be familiar with your new surroundings and 

neither will your spouse. If your home dwelling is left unoccupied, there will need to be someone there to

keep an eye on it. In any case, it is critical for you for you and your family to realize this: 

The more moving parts to your plan, the more stressful and difficult it will be t

eployment to ensure your spouse can 

38
Even

or spouses without children, stay active. Keep a normal schedule and keep your options open for new 

ell-being and perhaps even enhance your marriage. Maybe this is 

t 

d 

ommunication during a separation plays a critical role in maintaining an 

member who is away as well as for you 

to 

, 

leconference 

rtant for family members to share their thoug

information about daily events with your spouse while he or she is away. Ensure that 

up 

d 

e 

E-mail is convenien ry about time zones or the best time of day to call. Some 

nits have a family readiness center with computers available for family members to use. Commercial 

 Your 

es 

s your feelings to your spouse. Let your spouse know how much you appreciate 

e letters, e-mails, and any pictures that he or she has sent from afar. Mention in your letters one or two 

 

r 

ther while the 

mily is apart, it is equally important to gauge just how much and what kind of information is exchanged. 

 if you don’t have Children... 

F

opportunities which will benefit your w

the time to take a class that interests you (language, art, or new skill) or to start a new project. Although i

may be difficult to live in a large home alone, call friends or family or visit friends. Not only take time to 

reflect, but also recognize the early signs of stress. Ask for help when you need it. Be good to yourself 

and do not try to do it all. Prioritize what is critical from what is not and pace your self accordingly. Spen

leisure time you have with upbeat, positive friends who will keep a smile on your face and leave you 

energized to handle the separation well. 

Many Ways to Stay Connected 

C

emotional balance for the service 

and your children. Everyone benefits when the deployed member is able 

communicate with friends and loved ones back home. There are, of course

many conventional (and some unconventional) ways to stay in touch: 

• Postal service

• Email 

• Telephone 

• Video Te

It is very impo hts, feelings, and 

the deployed member’s unit address is accurate and get others involved with 

supporting them while they are away. Letters are the least expensive and one of the 

most satisfactory ways to stay in touch. Military postal systems are usually set 

near the unit and it can take as little as a week for packages to arrive. Consider 

sending shorter greeting cards and post cards. Receiving notes more frequently an

regularly may be more important than a long letters. Send interesting newspaper

articles, school papers from your hometown. Be Advised: Units and Ships are often 

on the move and it can take much longer for a package or letter to “catch up”. Car

packages are always welcome, but even a simple postcard or note will do wonders 

for everyone’s morale. 

t and no one needs to wor

u

telephone is still one of the best means to communicate. The cost of calling may be prohibitive and may

also depend upon the location of your spouse and his/her access to telephones but, as the old 

commercial states: “it is the next best thing to being there”. Video teleconference (VTC) capability is also 

a growing means of staying in touch and is an even better way than telephone to communicate.

FRG may also be able to provide this service to you. Stay in contact with the unit and its FRG. They are 

the best source of information on what is happening in the unit during the deployment and what resourc

are available to you. 

Be yourself and expres

th

things that make you feel especially close to your spouse. Whatever you do, try not to read too much 

into the frequency and content of letters from your loved one while he/she is overseas. Emotions can 

fluctuate (sometimes wildly) on both ends of the communication line and misunderstandings can result.

Remember that letters can take a long time to arrive from both sides, so it can become very stressful fo

everyone if they anxiously “camp out” at the mailbox waiting for word from overseas. 

An important note: While it is extremely important to be honest and open with each o

fa

Remember that communication is there to re-enforce bonds of trust and care. Be considerate. Avoid 

“dumping” the truly unimportant details of your everyday experiences especially when you are limited to a 

39
short amount of time (telephone or VTC). Not only will you waste valuable time discussing minor matte

(i.e. a leaky faucet or a dented fender), you will inadvertently emphasize the distance between you since 

there is truly nothing your deployed spouse can do about these sorts of matters. Focusing on positives 

instead of negatives will make your opportunities for bridging the distance both beneficial and uplifting. 

Day-to-day life on your own 

rs 

Many military spouses, children and families find strengths they never knew 

 had during a unit deployment. With time your confidence will grow and 

our 

or 

u

so different that it will be d

lthough it will be a great relief to have your loved one 

 common for 

ppened. 

e in our 

er” 

g 

d 

 if your 

mo

 very same feelings of apprehension and fear as 

ttached or dependent on the stay-at-home parent 

aration from their parent 

 

Bot p ts to make as well. A lot of time may have 

ssed during the deployment and it may not be easy adjusting to: 

intances 

 

The y ome may be challenging, but it is important to emphasize the 

nds that have kept everyone connected even when they were far apart. Everyone should show each 

they

you will become comfortable with the new routine. Make the most of the 

situation and “make lemons into lemonade”. However, you should consider 

that it is important not to drastically change the home environment while y

spouse is deployed. Unless you have both agreed on and carefully planned f

it, it is probably not a great idea to buy a new house or finance a drastic home 

remodeling project. It may be more stress than you can handle alone and it will 

r spouse to adjust to when he or she returns. Your new routine should not be 

ifficult to re-integrate your returning spouse into it once more. It is absolutely 

essential to remember that the day will soon come when the unit will return and it may be challenging to 

fall back into older habits and routines. 

Reunions and Homecoming 

certainly be difficult for yo

A

back from harm’s way, it is quite

communication between you and your spouse and the 

family to be initially strained. So much has ha

Separation and time will have an influence on 

everyone and, while change can be good, it always 

takes some time to adapt. We all have a pictur

minds of the ideal or picture-perfect “happily ever aft

homecoming. While homecomings are always a time 

of celebration, if your spouse has been away a lon

time, it is easy to set unrealistically high expectations 

for his or her return. Reunions are often accompanie

by an adjustment of roles for everyone. Even

spouse is returning from the ends of the world back to 

your little slice of paradise, the transition back to 

normal routines will likely take days, if not weeks, to s

understanding. It is very normal for everyone to feel the

they did before the deployment. Children especially may have more difficulty adjusting to a return than

adults. Children will likely have: 

• Grown physically and mentally 

• Possibly become more a

othly navigate. Try to be realistic and 

• Unresolved issues involving sep

• Greater difficulty adjusting to the “old” routines 

h s ouses will also have some significant adjustmen

pa

• Gains or loss in weight 

• New hairstyles 

• New Friends and acqua

 da s and weeks following the return h

bo

other how much they care by giving each other a little extra attention and time to adjust. There will likely

be a long list of things that need to be “back-briefed” from everyone and these things will take more than 

40
just a few days to share them. Remember: Too much information can almost be worse than not enough.

Some tips on ensuring that you cover the things that are important to you and the family: 

• Be Patient: Give yourself and your spouse time to get back into the swing of thing

 

s. 

latest news. 

• : A lot has happened to everyone. 

While it may be tempting to take that long planned family 

ke a 

ifficult 

our spouse will also undergo a challenging transition to 

listen to his or her feelings, and allow the space

very reunited family is going to have to do some work to get it all together once again, so do not panic if 

 roles 

e Gracious 

o has supported you– family, neighbors, teachers, and church members have been 

eflect on the experience 

eployment, communication 

icult 

 from 

f 

ck 

lf-

• Be Considerate: Your spouse wants to catch up, but don’t overwhelm them with the 

• Be Organized: Make a list of items to discuss, preferably by degree of importance. This will help 

you keep your thoughts focused and clear and will greatly assist your spouse to smoothly 

transition. 

Be Realistic

trip to Hawaii or the Bahamas, it is a good idea to get 

your returning spouse involved with the planning. A 

vacation immediately following a reunion may seem li

great idea, but there are drawbacks. Remember, there 

are lots of moving parts that need to work again in 

unison; picture-perfect reunions are very rare and d

to make happen. 

Y

his or her regular job. It may have changed. His or her 

responsibilities may be different. The work routine will 

also require some adjustments. Be a sounding board, 

 he or she needs to adapt to all that is happening. 

E

things do not go as smoothly as you have hoped or planned. On the other hand, you should understand 

that there is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help if things get too difficult. For some 

couples, counseling may be helpful in gaining insight into your relationship and assist in rebuilding

and lines of communication. Refrain from addressing your marital issues in front of your children. Military

chaplains or pastors are great resources for advice and can assist you with finding more specialized 

assistance. 

B

Thank everyone wh

there for you through the deployment. Find a way to them know you appreciate and value their 

contributions even if it is their job to do so. You will truly make their day!

R

Even more than before the d

between family members is an essential element in 

reunion. Focus on happy memories. Discuss the diff

memories or events that happened, but try to focus on 

the positive aspects and outcomes. Turn negative 

experiences into learning opportunities. We all grow

the experiences we have and share. Make the best o

your separation. Take it day by day. You may look ba

on it as a personally enriching opportunity where you 

have learned new skills and truly appreciated how se

sufficient you can be. Turn the challenge of separation 

into an opportunity for self-discovery, growth, and a 

stronger family unity. 

41
Returning from a Combat Zone 

ombat environment, there 

 handle 

at 

ATTENTION! 

PTSD Does not apply only to combat. If y use has experienced any traumatic event 

epartment of Veterans Affairs - National Center for PTSD 

If your spouse is returning from a c

may be some other issues that may not become apparent for 

days, weeks or months after his/her return. While some 

service members make the transition home with few 

difficulties, others may need a little more assistance to

the drastic changes that may have occurred. As a spouse it is 

very important that you are aware of the challenges faced by 

returning combat veterans and know that there is a vast array 

of support agencies and people specifically trained to offer 

assistance. Below are just a few of the support agencies th

you can consult: 

ou or your spo

(i.e. assault, severe accident, death of a loved one or loss of a job) PTSD symptoms may occur. 

In any case, seek professional help. It is very difficult to go it alone. 

D

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/

PTSD Alliance

http://www.ptsdalliance.org/home2.html

Vietnam Veterans of America PTSD Guide 

http://www.vva.org/benefits/ptsd.htm

Military Veterans PTSD Manual 

http://www.ptsdmanual.com/

42
Family Planning for an Emergency or Disaster 

ster is truly not as complicated as it may seem. Having 

• Having the right supplies on hand 

nowing the location of the nearest suitable one 

hy have a plan? 

ns, time is critical. We live in a very mobile society and the average individual or 

ry 

eep the plan simple 

n be as simple as designating escape routes and a meeting place for family 

ons, 

tay in place or evacuate? 

in a burning building, unsafe structure or flood plain, chances are you will 

ou 

 person 

y) of bottled water 

onsider additional water 

• , diapers or formula for small children 

If evacuation is required, know which routes to take and have alternate routes in mind. It is truly helpful to 

isit the American Red Cross http://www.redcross.org/

Preparing for a national or local emergency or disa

personal/family preparedness plan will help you organize and keep essential emergency information and 

supplies at-hand so you will have peace of mind in knowing you are prepared. Most individual and family 

plans for disaster planning involve a few essential elements such as: 

• Establishing a prepared shelter or k

• Knowing where to get important information 

• Getting all family members “in the loop” 

• Including provisions for pets 

W

In emergency situatio

family covers many miles every day traveling to and from school, work and other daily activities. It is ve

likely that you may not be with your loved ones should disaster strike. How and where will you rejoin 

them? Earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, or acts of terrorism can occur without warning and, depending 

on the situation you and your family may need to take shelter or evacuate. Having a plan that everyone is 

familiar with and can execute will make a difference. 

K

A preparedness plan ca

members, should your house catch fire. More complex plans may involve centralized meeting locati

evacuation routes and possibly pre-positioning supplies. Whatever your plan may include, it needs to be 

easily understood and achievable by everyone who has a part in it. 

S

Unless you or your family are 

need to shelter in place (stay where you are) and await further information from local authorities. 

Sheltering in place can be at home or at a local shelter such as a school gymnasium. To do this, y

should have basic supplies on hand such as: 

• First Aid Kit – Enough supplies for each

• Three days supply (one gallon per person, per da

• Three days supplies of non-perishable food (canned or dehydrated) C

requirements for food hydration 

 Special supplies such as bottles

• Kennel, food and water supply for pets 

• Extra supply of required medications 

• At least one working flashlight 

• Battery operated radio 

• Extra batteries 

have a particular destination (such as a relative’s house or secondary property) in mind as well. 

V website for more tools to plan for any emergency. 

43
Vital Information Inventory Worksheet 

his Vital Inform

clusive review of your personal history and 

e 

n 

r 

ta Sheet 

Birth Date Birthplace City / State / County / Country 

T

in

ation Worksheet is a nearly allfamily and property obligations. The following 

form can be used by you and any member of 

your family to compile many of the more 

important items of personal information that ar

often requested. Filling one out for every 

member of your family is a good technique for 

compiling all documents into one central locatio

or file. These files can be kept on hand for you

future reference or in case of an emergency. Use 

your imagination to tailor them for your personal 

use. 

Individual Da

Full Name 

Vital Documents 

If Adopted, Court of Adoption and Location Date of Adoption Location of Court Documents / Birth Certificate 

Social Security Number Passport Number / Issuing Country Driver’s License Number / State 

Current Mailing Address Phone Number(s) 

Permanent Address of Record (if applicable Phone Number(s) 

Deployed Mailing Address Unit Point of Contact Phone Number(s) 

Immediate Family Information 

Father’s Name / Address / Phone Mother’s Name / Address / Phone 

Spouse / Significant Other Name / Address / Phone Religion / Place of Worship Address / Point of Contact 

Sibling Name / Address / Phone 

Sibling Name / Address / Phone 

Sibling Name / Address / Phone 

Health Worksheet 

Medical 

Physician Clinic Name / Address Phone Number 

Height Weight Eye Color Hair Color Blood Type/RH factor 

44
Eyeglasses Y / N Contact Lenses Y/ N Date of Last Physical Special Conditions 

Known Allergies Regular Medication (Type and Dosage) 

Dental 

Dentist Dental Clinic Name / Address Phone Number 

Dental Considerations (Braces, Dentures, etc.) Date of Last Exam Next Exam Due 

Location of Dental Record(s) Other Information 

M

T

arriage Documents 

Presiding Authority Date Location of License/ 

Certificate 

o Whom State / Location 

If applicable, also provide information regarding any previous marital relationships: 

y 

Divorce / Separation Documents 

From Whom State / Jurisdiction Date Location of documents Attorne

 

Children 

Full Name Age/ Date of Birth Birth Place Social Security / Passport 

Number 

 

P

N

ersonal lawyer or trusted friend to consult regarding my personal or business affairs: 

ame 

Address and telephone number 

45
Dependents Other Than Immediate Family 

Full Name Address Telephone # Relation 

Actively Enrolled School Information 

Child Grade Teacher School Name / Address / Phone# Tuition 

C

a

onsider arranging a plan to pay any required tuition rough allotment or direct deposit. If this option is not 

vailable ensure that funds are ma available to pay any recurring costs. 

et Name Location of caretaker or kennel Veterinarian Location of records 

 th

de

Pet(s) 

P

Indicate if any shots or immunization are due while you are away. Any special concerns about your pet 

(allergies, habits) should also be relayed to the kennel or caretaker. 

mployment Data 

ivilian Employer Name Supervisor Position Held / Date of Hire 

E

C

Workplace Address Phone Number 

401k Y / N Defined Retirement 

Benefit Y / N 

Stock Options Y/N Health Insurance Y/N Dental Y/N 

Employer #2 (If Applicable) 

Civilian Employer Name Supervisor Position Held/ Date of Hire 

Workplace Address Phone Number 

401k Y / N Defined Retirement 

Benefit Y / N 

Stock Options Y/N Health Insurance Y/N Dental Y/N 

Military Information 

Member Position Rank / Pay Rate Time of Service / Date of Rank 

Commander’s Name Rank Phone Contact 

46
Unit Mailing Address Phone Number(s) 

Deployed Mailing Address Unit Point of Contact Phone Number(s) 

Military History 

Active Service Y / N Branch Dates of Service Type of Discharge 

Location of DD-214 Retirement Benefits Y / N Location of other pertinent records 

Guard Service Branch Dates of Service Type of Discharge 

Location of DD-214 Retirement Benefits Y/ N Location of Other Records 

Guard / Reserve Service Timeline 

Status Service Unit(s) Dates (from/ to) 

Active Component 

Selected Reserve (Drilling) 

Individual Ready Reserve 

(IRR) 

Inactive Periods N/A 

Retirement Information 

Currently Drawing 

Retirement Pay Y/ N 

If Not, Date Eligible for 

Retirement Pay 

Survivor Benefit Plan Y/ N If yes, date begun 

Entitled VA Benefits Entitled Social Security Benefits 

Other Entitled Benefits Spouse Retirement Benefits 

Jo

C

b(s) Prior to Present Employment 

Dates of 

Employment 

Position(s) Held Full-time or Parttime ompany Address 

 

47
Personal Finance Inventory 

all of your personal and/or family’s financial 

hecking 

redit Union Location Address Account Number Joint Owner 

Use the following tables to inventory 

accounts. Not only will this information be valuable to anyone entrusted with your

financial affairs, but it will also provide you with a comprehensive view of all of your

assets and financial commitments for future planning. 

C

Bank/S&L or C

 

Indicate the location of any bank statements and checkbook(s). Any Direct Deposit or Automatic payment 

avings 

 Credit Union Location Address Account Number Joint Owner 

(i.e. utilities) information should be outlined, as well. Consider a separate allotment/ distribution for your 

use while deployed to avoid lapses in cash access. If access to these accounts by anyone other than the 

account holder(s) is required, a special power of attorney may be needed. 

S

Bank/S&L or

 

ersonal/Collateral Loans (Non-Auto or Mortgage-for these use later tables) 

yment Amount 

P

Bank Account # Collateral Co-Signer Pa

 

redit / Bank Card Accounts 

on Account Number Joint Owner 

C

Bank/S&L or Credit Union Locati

 

You may choose to keep a credit card account open fo while deploy r use ed. Consider making arrangements 

to suspend action on unneeded cards until you return. If you choose to leave other card accounts open for 

use while you are away, ensure the user is aware of the specific credit limits and payment information. 

Remember that delays between billing and payment are likely (especially if you are overseas), so plan 

accordingly. Automatic payments may be very useful. 

48
Securities/IRA / 401k / Brokerage Information 

Brokerage Location Account Number Joint Owner/ beneficiary 

 

utual Funds / IRA’s 

Start Date Approx shares / Value Purchase Plan/ 

t 

Joint Owner 

M

Manager/ Fund Type 

Allotment Amoun

 

 

01 Designated Plans for You 

 Approx shares / Value Purchase Plan/ 

t 

Broker 

4

Employer/ Fund 

t 

Start Date

Manager Accoun Allotment Amoun

 

 

01 Designated Plans for Your Spouse 

res / Value Purchase Plan/ 

t 

Broker 

4

Employer/ Fund 

t 

Start Date Approx sha

Manager Accoun Allotment Amoun

 

 

quities / Stocks 

Start Date Approx shares / Value Purchase Plan/ 

t 

Broker 

E

Name 

Allotment Amoun

 

 

49
Bonds 

Stock / Bond Issuer Acquisition / Maturity Location of Certificates & Name on Acct. Face Value 

Date Records 

 

 

If you use an Internet Brokerage, consider whether you will allow someone else to access your account and 

Consider automatic allotments or distributions and detail-specific information regarding management of 

ersonal and Property Insurance 

Policy Number Monthly/Quarterly Payoff and 

inform the brokerage. In many cases, a specific form will be required. Provide statements or a detailed list 

of holdings and any orders (stop-loss or sell) pending. 

these accounts. Again, a special power of attorney may apply. 

P

Type of Insurance Company /Agent 

Payments Beneficiary 

Life 

 

Property 

 

Accident 

Medical 

Rental 

Other 

If you do not already have it, consider personal property insurance coverage for personal items (bicycle, 

surance Held on Yourself 

ount of Policy Number Monthly/Quarterly Beneficiary 

stereo and clothing) left behind either in storage or in your dwelling. 

In

Insurer Type and am

insurance Payments 

 

50
Insurance Held on Others 

Insurer and Insured Type and amount of Policy Number Monthly/Quarterly Beneficiary 

insurance Payments 

 

Automobile Insurance 

Auto Covered Company and Type Policy Number Monthly/Quarterly Deductible 

of insurance Payments 

 

If not already accomplished, consider automatic payment plans or withdrawals for your insurance needs to 

utomobile Information 

Automobile 1 Automobile 2 Automobile 3 

avoid lapses in coverage. Indicate the location of specific insurance documents (File, safe, glove 

compartment) for accessibility. 

A

Pertinent information 

Make, Model, Year 

Registered to 

State inspection expires 

Insured with 

Policy number 

Insurance Agent 

Agent Telephone Number 

Lien holder, if any / 

Location of Vehicle Title 

 

Location of Automobile documents 

(Maintenance records, bill of sale, 

warranties) 

License Plate(state) 

State of registration 

Expiration of registration 

51
If you do not plan to have someone drive your car(s) provide: 

Auto storage location 

Address 

Point(s) of contact 

Location of keys to car(s) 

(and storage/garage lock, if applicable) 

*NOTE: Research the best method to store your car (i.e. disconnect battery, drain oil or fuel tank). 

 someone will be operating your car(s) it is a good idea to outline: 

ge where car is serviced. 

 either case, it is a good idea to inventory the condition of the car(s) before you leave, to include overall 

ousehold Utilities 

ompany Account number Address Telephone 

Save money on insurance by informing your insurer that the car is in storage 

If

a. Any present mechanical difficulties that may need attention 

b. The name of a trusted mechanic or automotive dealership/gara

c. When the requirement for new battery, tires, oil, etc. is forecast 

In

condition and mileage. Any photos you can retain of the vehicle may be useful in the event you need to 

make an insurance claim. 

H

Utility C

Electrical 

Gas 

Water / Waste 

Disposal 

Telephone / Mobile 

phone 

Cable / Internet 

Consider automatic payment of utilities to forestall any lapses. Ensure your trustee has access to your 

ented Property 

Property Address Property manager / landlord Lease expiration 

dwelling so that any service calls or repairs may be made. If you desire to disconnect service, relate to 

the utility company any plans to re-continue service at a later time. 

R

Type of Property 

 

Note: Your rent could be increased with little or no notice if you do not have a lease. 

ented Storage Locker / Property 

Agent / manager Lease expires Payment Info 

R

Agency / Company Address 

 

52
Owned Home Property 

Type of Property Property Address Mortgage Company Location of Pertaining 

Legal Documents 

Notes 

• Before you deploy, give your home a security check inside and out to include testing (or installing) 

smoke alarms, and checking door and window locks, as well as outdoor lights or motion detectors 

•

Owned

roperty 

Mortgage Impound account? 

(if you have them). Note any repairs or seasonal preparations that need to me made while you 

are away. 

Outline what to do or who to call if something in your home breaks down. Plumbers, roofers, or 

repair contractors can be very costly if chosen randomly. 

Note: If you have an adjustable mortgage rate, your house payments may change with little 

notice. Consider a fixed-rate loan to prevent any sudden increases in mortgage payments. 

 Property Taxes 

P Address Taxes Paid to Taxes Paid Through (Date) Paid separately or through 

A tax history folio for each property, to include all past tax statements is very helpful. If you anticipate any taxes due 

hile you are deployed, consider paying in advance if there is no automatic payment mechanism. 

Legal Documents 

w

Owned Rental Property (If you are a landlord) 

Type of Property Property Address Mortgage Company Location of Pertaining 

Property Manager Information (If Applicable) 

Manager Agency Address Agent/ Contact Information Special Instructions 

53
Owned Rental Property Taxes 

roperty Address Taxes Paid to Taxes Paid Through (Date) Paid separately or through 

Mortgage Impound account? 

P

If you anticipate any taxes due while you are deployed, consider paying in advance if there is no 

utomatic payment mechanism or make arrangements through your property manager. 

em Contractor Address Telephone Number Comments 

a

Rental Property Maintenance & Repair Contractors 

It

Lawn/ Tree Care 

Heating & Air 

Conditioning 

 

Plumbing 

Electrical 

Notes 

• Before you deploy, give your home a security check inside and out. This should include testing 

(or installing) smoke alarms, and checking door and window locks, as well as outdoor lights or 

•

rs can be very costly if chosen randomly. 

Safe De

ox Number Location of Box Location of Keys Persons authorized to 

access Box(es) 

motion detectors (if you have them). Note any repairs or seasonal preparations required while 

you are away. 

Outline what to do or who to call if something in your home breaks down. Plumbers, roofers, or 

repair contracto

posit Box(es) 

B

If a Power of attorney has been executed for your d it box, state location d any specific limitations 

of the document and provide a brief list of the box contents 

escription Location Combination / Location of 

Keys 

Contents 

epos an

Personal Safe(s) 

D

Personal Items on Loan 

 you have lent any personal items to someone while you are gone (appliances, clothing, etc.), or if you 

a note of it so the items can be recovered if you are unable to ensure it. 

If

have borrowed any, make 

54
Preparing a Family Care Plan** 

Overview

, why it's important, what it covers, and where to start. 

amily Care Plan? 

re Plan is a "blueprint" that shows how your family will be cared for in your absence -- 

ions. It 

llows for a smooth transition of responsibilities to a caregiver when a service member must leave for 

monstrating to the commander that unit members will be ready to 

gal 

 only away for a short time, on temporary duty or training, who 

ary can benefit from a Family Care Plan that shows 

in your absence, and in some cases you are required to create one. 

 A single parent with custody of children under 19 years of age 

ice member who is pregnant 

ice members 

are required to develop a single Family Care Plan that both members sign.) 

g, medical, logistical, financial, 

person. This category includes (but isn't limited to) a 

sole caregivers for 

Comple

speaks 

medical

lso be required to c

. 

s 

This section explains the Family Care Plan

What is a F

A Family Ca

whether you are deployed, on temporary duty, or otherwise unavailable because of military obligat

a

short or long periods of time, de

accomplish the mission of the unit. The plan is made up of instructions that you write and certain le

documents, such as a power-of-attorney. 

Why have a Family Care Plan? 

If you were suddenly deployed, who would provide care for your children -- or for an older relative who 

depends on you for care? Even if you were

would take over for you? Nearly everyone in the milit

how your family is to be cared for 

DoDI (Department of Defense Instruction) 1342.19 addresses when a Family Care Plan is required, and

each service branch has a corresponding directive that explains that service branch's guidelines. 

Your unit or supervisor can provide the resources available to help you create a Family Care Plan that 

meets your service branch's specific requirements. These resources include your Family Support Center 

and Legal Assistance Office. 

Who Needs One? 

Certain service members are required to have a Family Care Plan. These people include: 

 

•

• A single serv

• Dual military couples with custody of children less than 19 years of age. (Both serv

• A service member who is solely responsible for the care (housin

food, clothing, or transportation) of another 

situation where a service member's spouse is injured, chronically sick, or otherwise unable to 

care for family members or other dependents; and service members who are 

elderly, disabled, or chronically sick family members. 

tion of a Family Care Plan may also be required if a service member has a family member who 

little or no English or is unable to drive or otherwise gain access to basic resources such as 

 care and food. A service member with an Exceptional Family Member (regardless of age) may 

a omplete a Family Care Plan. 

It can even be a good idea for civilian spouses married to service members to have a Family Care Plan

This is because if the service member is deployed and the spouse becomes incapacitated, plans will be 

in effect for the proper care of their children. 

When Should You Make One? 

A service member should notify his or her supervisor or commander about creating a Family Care Plan a

soon as the service member enters any of the categories described above. 

55
T

T

he Basic Requirements 

he requirements for a Family Care Plan may vary somewhat depending on your service branch or your 

t they all contain the following basic information: 

ng 

separations lasting 30 or fewer days (in the Air Force, the requirement is usually 45 days or less). 

•

 usually more than 45 

ve 

from a 

•

 documentation and information necessary to allow the care provider to care for your 

 to 

s, if 

The doc agreed to the task and 

has been provided with all legal authority to do so (including medical or other power of attorney). This 

, 

 Address 

side from basic care provider information and necessary legal forms, your Family Care Plan should also 

rangements for child care, school, medical care, and family activities. By 

aily activities. Make certain your care provider clearly understands 

your family's daily routines. It's a good idea to create a calendar of the week's events -- noting the 

cial 

•

ider know as much as possible how your family life "works." Write down specific details 

er 

•

t is important to write down detailed information 

our 

•

• or your family to move from one area to 

particular circumstances. Bu

• Short-term care plans. These plans outline how your family members will be cared for duri

Your short-term care plans could take effect for reasons such as temporary duty, training, school, 

or short-term involuntary recalls. The care provider must be a non-military person and must live in 

the local area. The care provider must also sign the Family Care Plan. 

Long-term care plans. These plans give details on who will care for your family members during 

separations lasting 31 days or more (in the Air Force, the requirement is

days). Your long-term care plans might become necessary during deployments or times of 

extended training or involuntary recalls. The care provider must be nonmilitary, but does not ha

to live in the local area. However, plans should be in place for transporting family members 

short-term care provider to a long-term care provider in the case of deployment (or other 

separation) with little or no notice. The long-term care provider must also sign the Family Care 

Plan. 

Care provider designations and documentation. Your plan must name the care provider and 

provide

children (or other family members) adequately -- and to possibly run your household. Be sure

note that any care provider that you select must be legally entitled to act in that capacity. Thu

your biological children reside with you and your new spouse (who is a stepparent), the other 

biological parent must either be designated as the care provider (if that person has custodial 

rights) or must consent in writing to the designation of another person. 

umentation states that the person you selected to provide care has fully 

documentation should also describe financial concerns and explain procedures for obtaining access to 

both military and civilian facilities and services necessary to properly care for your family -- for example

health care needs. 

Additional Issues to

A

include specific instructions on ar

detailing your routines and giving your care provider as much information as possible, you can better 

avoid problems and allow your children (or other dependants) the security of knowing things will remain 

as constant as possible. 

• Outline arrangements for d

starting and ending times of the school day, any after-school activities, bed times, and any spe

events. 

Give details on legal, logistical, educational, religious, and other concerns for family care. Let your 

care prov

on the logistics of housing, food, and transportation. If it is important to you that your family 

members attend weekly religious services, let the caregiver know this so she can accommodate. 

It is wise to also leave the school's (or place of worship's) calendar handy, so the care provid

knows of important upcoming events, as well. 

Provide medical information. Does your daughter suffer from asthma and regularly need an 

inhaler? Does your son take daily medication? I

about family physicians, medications and vitamins, hospitals, and regular appointments, so y

family's medical needs will be properly addressed. 

Provide locations of important documents, such as wills, insurance papers, and birth certificates. 

Establish relocation plans. If it becomes necessary f

another, the logistics for this move should be pointed out in the Family Care Plan. Such a move 

56
might be necessary if your short-term assignment became a long-term one, for example. Be 

to note details such as finances, airline tickets, and transportation to and from airports. 

Make sure that ID cards are current. Check to make certain that your family members' ID cards 

have not expired, and be sure your dependents are registered in DEERS (the Defense 

sure 

•

•

• of doctors and dentists 

mbers 

e military unit, commander or 

• r 

among other things -- who will have 

f it in 

Finding

The following resources can provide you with information as you create your Family Care Plan: 

u have a 

current, workable Family Care Plan. The commander may designate a representative from the 

• rt 

branch, your Navy Fleet and Family Support Center, Marine 

lp 

•

re Plan. Professionals there can help you understand, 

•

s can also be helpful resources to consult when preparing your Family Care Plan. You 

ad 

Other C

Try to keep in mind that the sole purpose of a Family Care Plan is to secure your family's well-being in the 

ce. The time and energy you spend on putting it together now is time well spent. Here 

Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System). Keep in mind that care providers should have access to

the installation exchange, commissary, and any necessary medical facilities, as well. 

Provide lists of close contacts and other resources. Be sure to provide the following personal 

information to your caregiver: 

• names, addresses, and telephone numbers of relatives, neighbors, and friends 

names and telephone numbers

• lists of military and community resources with points of contact and telephone nu

• an information sheet with the names and addresses of th

commanding officer, first sergeant or commanding chief, command enlisted supervisor, 

supervisor, and family readiness program point of contact 

Designate a person to have temporary responsibility for your children in the event of you

incapacity or death. A will is the document that describes -- 

permanent custody of your children in the event of your death. However, you also need to 

establish who will have temporary responsibility for your dependents in such circumstances. Will 

this be the same individual as your caregiver? Whether it is or not, you should make note o

your Family Care Plan. 

 Help and Advice 

• Supervisors. Either your commander or supervisor is responsible for making sure that yo

command to handle Family Care Plan issues. This means that the commander or a command 

representative can be your first resource for more information on the plan itself, what it should 

include, any particular requirements relating to your specific situation, and other people and 

services you can consult for help. 

Installation Family Support Centers. Next to your supervisor, your installation's Family Suppo

Center (depending on your service 

Corps Community Service, Air Force Family Support Center, or Army Community and Family 

Support Center) could be your most important resource in creating your Family Care Plan. These

centers have counselors who are experienced in the creation of Family Care Plans and can he

you understand the issues involved. In addition, these centers often have brochures or classes 

related to developing Family Care Plans. 

Legal Assistance Offices. Your installation's Legal Assistance Office can help you regarding any

legal documents needed in your Family Ca

for example, the general, limited, and medical power-of-attorney documents -- and can help you 

select the right ones for your particular needs. They can also help you create a will. In many 

instances, they will have all of the particular forms your service branch requires for a Family Care

Plan. 

Other helpful resources. Military libraries, installation social service agencies, and religious 

adviser

might also want to speak with other service members who have Family Care Plans or have h

them in the past. 

oncerns 

event of your absen

are some other points to keep in mind: 

57
• Commander review and approval. It is your commander's responsibility to not only counsel you 

on your Family Care Plan, but also to approve or disapprove it, verify that your care provider 

agrees to his or her duties, and review your annual updates to the plan. The commander or a 

designated command representative should test the viability of the plan and make certain that it is 

complete in terms of forms, instructions, and listed contact information. 

• Deadlines. An active duty service member has 30 days (from the date of change in family 

situation) to alert his or her supervisor of the need to create a Family Care Plan. After that date, 

the service member has 60 days to submit an acceptable Plan. If a commander or supervisor 

approves it, a 30-day extension may be granted (beyond the 60 days) -- when circumstances 

warrant an extension. 

• Updating your Family Care Plan. At least once a year you should reevaluate your Family Care 

Plan. Circumstances sometimes change. For example, the appointed care provider may no 

longer be capable of caring for your family. By revisiting your Family Care Plan each year, you 

can address new issues in your life and those of your family members. 

• Penalties. Service members who are required to complete and update Family Care Plans but fail 

to do so are considered non-deployable. They can also be subject to disciplinary action or 

involuntarily separation from the service. 

Military OneSource 

This 24-hour service is available to all active duty, Guard, and Reserve members and their families. Fulltime consultants are ready at 800-342-9647 at all times to provide information in most languages and are 

committed to answer your phone call in less than 4 rings. If the people at OneSource cannot immediately 

find an answer to your question or concern someone will research it and call you back, often within 24 

hours, with an answer. Visit: 

http://militaryonesource.com

**This article was written with the assistance of Christopher B. Rydelek, Head, Legal Assistance Branch, HQ USMC; Stephanie Sanders-Kuhlmann, 

MSgt USAF, Superintendent, Field Operations Customer Support/CSS/PSM, HQ AFPC/DPFFOC; CH (LTC) Jonathan McGraw, Chief, Army 

Command Policy Branch, Office of the Deputy Chief of Staff, US Army; and Jim Sawhook, QOL Senior Policy Analyst, Navy Personnel Command. 

© 2005 Ceridian Corporation. All rights reserved. 

Elder Care Inventory 

This is intended as a starting point to planning for care of an elderly person. Professional assessments 

can take from three hours to several days to complete. Filling out a simple form with your parents can 

take considerable time, especially if they are uncomfortable with the subject of their elder care. In most 

cases, a consultation with certified financial planner and estate specialist and/or attorney is the best 

course of action to determine what is best for your parent in the state where they live. 

What factors should you assess? Although there may be slight variations, a thorough assessment should 

include the topics listed below: 

Physical Health 

• Have your parents been diagnosed with any chronic diseases – for example, diabetes, high blood 

pressure, arthritis, or emphysema? 

• Consider making doctors appointment for a thorough examination. Sometimes, there are medical 

conditions that might explain why more help is needed. Frequently, an older person cannot 

express his or her concerns to the family, but will confide in the doctor. 

• If a disease or illness is identified, ask the doctor for information about the disease or illness, and 

suggestions of books or Web sites that can help you become more familiar with your older 

relative’s condition. 

• Have they experienced fractures or trauma, unusual weight gain or loss, incontinence, balance 

problems? 

• Do they have dental problems? 

• Is there a list of the health professionals they are currently seeing? 

58
Behaviors 

• Have your parents been diagnosed with any psychiatric disorders, such as depression, anxiety 

disorder, or psychosis? 

• Has either been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementia? Are they alert? Do they 

have mood swings? 

• Are there signs of extreme forgetfulness, wandering off, confusion, disorientation, sadness, or 

loneliness? 

• Have you noticed a decreased interest in reading, writing, communicating, and maintaining 

friends, or less interest in life in general? 

Medications 

Check all the medicines your parents take. Note times per day and doses. -Are they able to take 

medications as directed, and do they know how to avoid interactions? -Do they have problems using 

medicine properly? 

Daily Living Activities 

• How is your parents’ mobility? Is there a need for adaptive aids, such as a cane, walker, or grab 

bars in the bathroom? 

• Do they have special dietary needs? 

• Are they able to dress, bathe, get up from a chair easily, use a toilet, use the phone, climb stairs, 

get help in an emergency, shop, prepare meals, do housework, drive safely? 

Environmental Safety 

How is the neighborhood? 

• Is their home safe (e.g., hazards such as throw rugs; adaptive aids; smoke alarms)? 

• Are they able to avoid telephone scams and door-to-door fraud? 

• Can they maintain their house and yard? 

Support System 

Do they have the names, addresses, and phone numbers of key family members, friends, and 

neighbors readily available? -Do your parents have frequent visitors or do they see friends regularly? 

-Do your parents go to a senior center? Do they go out of the house for social reasons? -Do they 

belong to organizations, including faith-based groups? -Do family members live nearby? Do they see 

these relatives regularly? 

Appearance and Hygiene 

• How is their overall appearance/personal hygiene? Do they routinely brush teeth, trim nails, 

shave, wash and comb hair? 

• Are their clothes clean, and are they dressed appropriately? 

• Family Readiness – A Key Component of Mission Readiness 

Finances 

• What insurance coverage is in place? 

• Do you have a general idea as to your parents’ personal assets? 

• Are there any legal documents such as trusts, living wills, durable or other powers of attorney? 

Do both of them, and you, know where important records are kept? 

• Do your parents have a financial plan? 

• Are there outside sources of financial assistance for them? 

Nearly 22 million American workers are also caregivers for their parents or older relatives and friends.

59
Example Emergency Phone Number Guide 

Consider using the following list as an example of one you could create with your word processing 

software and post next to house phones or even shrink to fit in your wallet. A list like this may be 

especially handy for a babysitter, visiting friend or relative to use while you are away from home. 

Important Numbers

This House Number 210-555-0000 

For an Immediate Emergency DIAL 911 

Poison Line 800-222-1222

Family Health Center ______________ 

Family Dentist ______________ 

Local Police Dept Non-Emergency ______________ 

Local Fire Dept ______________ 

Contact Numbers

Dad’s Cell ______________

Dad @work ______________ 

Mom’s Cell ______________ 

Mom @work ______________ 

Sister’s Cell ______________ 

Brother’s Cell ______________ 

Grandma’s Home ______________ 

High School Office ______________ 

Day Care ______________ 

YMCA ______________ 

Salon ______________ 

Family, Friends and Neighbors

Bob and Susan Smith ______________ 

John and Jane Doe ______________ 

Uncle David ______________ 

Aunt Sally ______________ 

Service Numbers

Chevy ______________ 

Honda ______________ 

ADT ______________ 

Emergency House Maintenance (Anita) ______________ 

Power Company ______________ 

Water Company ______________ 

60
Mortuary Affairs Planning Guide 

It will be very difficult for your loved ones to make important decisions about your burial 

if you do not make it clear what your specific desires are. This guide is to help you with 

the construction of your will with regards to burial arrangements. 

At 

□Traditional burial

the time of my death, I prefer: 

□Cremation 

I p

□My Service branch 

refer preparation, casketing and transportation to be arranged and handled by: 

□Next of Kin with ________ funeral home 

My

□18 gauge metal sealer casket 

 choice of casket is: 

□Hardwood casket 

□Other __________________ 

I p

□A private cemetery 

refer to be buried in: 

□National or government cemetery 

□____________________ Cemetery (Specify plot number and Point of Contact) 

61
If c

□Bronze 

remated, my choice of urn would be: 

□Walnut 

□Other –specify________________- 

I w

□Buried at _________________ cemetery 

ould like for my cremated remains to be: 

□Placed at a columbarium at________________ 

□Kept at home 

□Scattered at_________________________ (Specify where and how) 

□My remains should be consigned to _______________ Funeral Home 

 (Provide Address, phone number and Point of Contact) 

I w

□Service dress uniform 

ould like to be buried in: 

□Civilian attire -specify___________________________________________ 

I p

□Church service 

refer the following service(s) (you may mark any or all): 

□Graveside service 

□Funeral Home Service 

□Other _____________________ 

I re

□Chaplain 

quest the following military honors, if available: 

□Firing party 

□Pallbearers 

□Color Guard 

□Bugler 

□Flyover* 

* NOTE: Flyover honors are at the discretion of the service branch and may be subject to other 

restrictions. Specify if flyover is by another group or agency (CAF, Flying club, etc.). 

My

□Government furnished 

 choice of headstone marker is: 

□Privately furnished _________________ (Specify details and Point of Contact) 

62
My clergy choice is: 

_______________________________ 

If applicable, state clergyman’s name address and contact phone number: 

_____________________________________________________________ 

An escort will accompany your remains during transportation from place of death 

to the final resting place. You may choose an escort of your service will appoint 

one for you. Your may also specify a person as escort. 

My desired escort is___________________________________________ (Provide 

name, address and contact phone number.) 

Special Requests (Special reading, music, no flowers, donations in your name, 

etc.): 

Persons to (or not to) notify (List all that may apply): 

Signature: You should sign this document to authenticate these preferences as your 

own. Notarize if desired/applicable. 

Your Full Name: ______________________Today’s Date: ________________ 

Signature: ___________________________ 

Notary: ___________________________ 

63