What Is Your Attitude?

You attitude is the state of mind with which you 

approach a situation. Your attitude is important 

because it affects how you look, what you say, and 

what you do. It affects how you feel, both physically 

and mentally, and it greatly affects how successful you 

are in achieving your purpose in life. What could be 

more important?

Negative attitudes make life diffi cult for everyone. 

Positive attitudes help everyone get the most out of 

life. Though talent is important and knowledge is 

essential, the most important key to success is your 

state of mind!

When your spouse goes away, you have to make a 

choice. You can apply a positive attitude, and make 

the best of the time you have apart, or you can apply 

a negative attitude, draw the drapes, withdraw, and 

complain until he or she comes home. Given the 

two choices, the fi rst one is healthier and more to 

your advantage.

Time passes quickly when you are busy. It also makes 

for better, longer, and more interesting letters to your 

spouse. Find something you enjoy doing. Something 

that says YOU! Set goals for tomorrow, next week, 

and next month. 

The completion of a project will give you a sense of 

satisfaction. Have you thought about the following:

Going back to school?

Taking up a new hobby?

Pursuing an aerobic or weight program?

Seeking part-time or full-time employment?

Volunteering?

Handling Stress

 Take care of yourself. Do not try to heal family 

and friends.

Get involved in things that make you happy.

 Avoid self-medication and abusing substances like 

drugs, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, and food. Liquor 

and drugs reduce the perception of stress, but do 

not reduce stress.

 Be fl exible and accept that you cannot control 

everything.

 Plan for stress. Set realistic goals that provide time 

for breaks and limit work. 

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Coping with Separation

When a Spouse is Deployed

Family separation periods provide for a time 

of self-growth. Not many spouses have such an 

opportunity to take a good look at their own lives.

·

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

www.samhsa.gov

Leaving Home for Disaster Relief Work
Handling Stress

Take a stress reduction class.

 Learn how to praise yourself and accept praise. 

Turn off the “constant censure” voice that always 

says, “you shouldn’t.”

Keep a sense of humor with you at all times.

 Start thinking about what you really want out of 

life and begin to work toward those goals.

 Take a mental health day every two or three months.

Avoid sulking. Let people know what you want.

 Learn how to express irritation and appreciation 

to others.

 Pick out somebody you work with and tell them 

something about yourself that you have not told 

anyone else.

When the Blues Get Bluer: 

Loneliness

Most people fi nd the dinner hour and Sunday afternoon

to be the times when they miss their spouse the most, 

and everybody has an occasional blue Monday.

If your blue days are increasing in frequency, pay 

attention to what is going on around and in you. 

Are you—

Letting things go?

Gaining weight?

Yelling at the kids?

Constantly watching TV?

Sleeping in late?

Withdrawing from people?

Dropping out of organizations?

Spending a lot of time with your thoughts?

Drinking more than usual or drinking alone?

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No one takes a giant leap into depression. It is more 

of a cumulative process. Some use alcohol and drugs 

as a remedy, but that does not work. Drinking does 

nothing to answer life’s problems. In fact, drinking 

just helps you temporarily ignore your problems—but 

the problems are still there.

Handling Depression

The cure for depression is the same as the prevention. 

Take positive action. Behavior is changed by thoughts 

and feelings. If you can, talk to a friend. If you are 

alone your problems seem overwhelming, contact a 

Mental Health professional. They can help.

When your spouse is away, you need to feel that you 

are moving up and forward. 

This material is adapted from the “Predeployment Guide: 

A Tool for Coping” on the Air Force Crossroads Web site at 

http://www.afcrossroads.com/famseparation.

NMH06-0233