<PAGE>
 
                                                                   EXHIBIT 10.10
 
                           WEST ESSEX BANCORP, INC.
                    THREE YEAR CHANGE IN CONTROL AGREEMENT


     This AGREEMENT is made effective as of February 2, 1999, by and between
West Essex Bancorp, Inc. (the "Holding Company"), a corporation organized under
the laws of the United States which is the holding company of West Essex Bank
(the "Bank") with its principal administrative office at 417 Bloomfield Avenue,
Caldwell, New Jersey 07006 and Dennis A. Petrello ("Executive").

     WHEREAS, the Holding Company recognizes the substantial contribution
Executive has made to the Holding Company and its subsidiaries and wishes to
protect Executive's position therewith for the period provided in this
Agreement; and

     WHEREAS, Executive has agreed to serve in the employ of the Holding
Company.

     NOW, THEREFORE, in consideration of the contribution and responsibilities
of Executive, and upon the other terms and conditions hereinafter provided, the
parties hereto agree as follows:

1.   TERM OF AGREEMENT.
     ----------------- 

     The term of the West Essex Bancorp, Inc. Three Year Change in Control
Agreement (the "Agreement") shall be deemed to have commenced as of the date
first above written and shall continue for a period of thirty-six months (36)
full calendar months thereafter. Commencing on the first anniversary date of
this Agreement and continuing at each anniversary date thereafter, the Board of
Directors of the Holding Company ("Board") may extend the Agreement for an
additional year.  The Board will review the Agreement and Executive's
performance annually for purposes of determining whether to extend the
Agreement, and the results thereof shall be included in the minutes of the
Board's meeting.

2.   CHANGE IN CONTROL.
     ----------------- 

     (a) If a Change in Control (as defined herein) has occurred or the Board
has determined that a Change in Control has occurred, Executive shall be
entitled to the benefits provided in Section 3 upon his subsequent termination
of employment at any time during the term of this Agreement due to (i)
Executive's dismissal, or (ii) Executive's voluntary resignation following any
demotion, loss of title, office or significant authority or responsibility,
reduction in the annual compensation or material reduction in benefits or
relocation of his principal place of employment by more than 50 miles from its
location immediately prior to the Change in Control, unless such termination is
because of his death or Termination for Cause.
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     (b) For purposes of this Plan, a "Change in Control" of the Bank or Holding
Company shall mean an event of a nature that: (i) would be required to be
reported in response to Item 1 of the Current Report on Form 8-K, as in effect
on the date hereof, pursuant to Section 13 or 15(d) of the Securities Exchange
Act of 1934 (the "Exchange Act"); or (ii) results in a Change in Control of the
Bank or the Holding Company within the meaning of the Home Owners' Loan Act of
1933, as amended, the Federal Deposit Insurance Act, or the Rules and
Regulations promulgated by the Office of Thrift Supervision ("OTS") (or its
predecessor agency), as in effect on the date hereof (provided, that in applying
the definition of change in control as set forth under the Rules and Regulations
of the OTS, the Board shall substitute its judgment for that of the OTS); or
(iii) without limitation such a Change in Control shall be deemed to have
occurred at such time as (A) any "person" (as the term is used in Sections 13(d)
and 14(d) of the Exchange Act) is or becomes the "beneficial owner" (as defined
in Rule 13d-3 under the Exchange Act), directly or indirectly, of securities of
the Bank or the Holding Company representing 25% or more of the Bank's or the
Holding Company's outstanding voting securities or right to acquire such
securities except for any voting securities of the Bank purchased by the Holding
Company in connection with the conversion of the Bank to the stock form and any
voting securities purchased by any employee benefit plan of the Bank or the
Holding Company, or (B) individuals who constitute the Board on the date hereof
(the "Incumbent Board") cease for any reason to constitute at least a majority
thereof, provided that any person becoming a director subsequent to the date
hereof whose election was approved by a vote of at least three-quarters of the
directors comprising the Incumbent Board, or whose nomination for election by
the Holding Company's stockholders was approved by the same Nominating Committee
serving under an Incumbent Board, shall be, for purposes of this clause (B),
considered as though he were a member of the Incumbent Board, or (C) a plan of
reorganization, merger, consolidation, sale of all or substantially all the
assets of the Bank or the Holding Company or similar transaction occurs in which
the Bank or Holding Company is not the resulting entity; provided, however, that
such an event listed above will be deemed to have occurred or to have been
effectuated upon the receipt of all required regulatory approvals not including
the lapse of any statutory periods.

     (c) Executive shall not have the right to receive termination benefits
pursuant to Section 3 hereof upon Termination for Cause.  The term "Termination
for Cause" shall mean termination because of Executive's personal dishonesty,
incompetence, willful misconduct, any breach of fiduciary duty involving
personal profit, intentional failure to perform stated duties, willful violation
of any law, rule, or regulation (other than traffic violations or similar
offenses) or final cease-and-desist order, or material breach of any provision
of this Agreement. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Executive shall not be deemed
to have been Terminated for Cause unless and until there shall have been
delivered to him a Notice of Termination which shall include a copy of a
resolution duly adopted by the affirmative vote of not less than a majority of
the Board of Directors of the Holding Company at a meeting of the Board called
and held for that purpose (after reasonable notice to Executive and an
opportunity for him, together with counsel, to be heard before the Board),
finding that in the good faith opinion of the Board, Executive's  conduct
justified a finding of Termination for Cause and specifying the particulars
thereof in detail.  Executive shall not have the right to receive compensation
or other benefits for any period after the Date of Termination for Cause.
During the period beginning on the date of 

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the Notice of Termination for Cause pursuant to Section 4 hereof through the
Date of Termination for Cause, stock options and related limited rights granted
to Executive under any stock option plan shall not be exercisable nor shall any
unvested awards granted to Executive under any stock benefit plan of the Bank,
the Company or any subsidiary or affiliate thereof, vest. At the Date of
Termination for Cause, such stock options and related limited rights and any
such unvested awards shall become null and void and shall not be exercisable by
or delivered to Executive at any time subsequent to such Termination for Cause.


3.   TERMINATION BENEFITS.
     -------------------- 

     (a) Upon the occurrence of a Change in Control, followed at any time during
the term of this Agreement by termination of the Executive's employment due to:
(1) Executive's dismissal or (2) Executive's voluntary termination pursuant to
Section 2(a), unless such termination is due to Termination for Cause, the
Holding Company shall pay Executive, or in the event of his subsequent death,
his beneficiary or beneficiaries, or his estate, as the case may be, a sum equal
to three (3) times Executive's average annual compensation Annual Compensation
(defined herein) for the five most recent taxable years that Executive has been
employed by the Holding Company or its subsidiaries or such lesser number of
years in the event that Executive shall have been employed by the Holding
Company or its subsidiaries for less than five years. Annual Compensation shall
include Base Salary, commissions, and bonuses, as well as contributions on
Executive's behalf to any pension and/or profit sharing plan, retirement
payments, directors or committee fees, fringe benefits paid or to be paid to the
Executive in any such year and payment of any expense items without
accountability or business purpose or that do not meet the Internal Revenue
Service requirements for deductibility by the Holding Company or its
subsidiaries; provided however, that any payment under this provision and
              -------- -------                                           
subsection 3(b) below shall not exceed three (3) times the Executive's average
annual compensation.  At the election of Executive, which election is to be made
prior to a Change in Control, such payment shall be made in a lump sum.  In the
event that no election is made, payment to Executive will be made on a monthly
basis in approximately equal installments during the remaining term of this
Agreement.

     (b) Upon the occurrence of a Change in Control of the Bank or the Holding
Company followed at any time during the term of this Agreement by Executive's
voluntary or involuntary termination of employment, other than for Termination
for Cause, the Holding Company or its subsidiaries shall cause to be continued
life, medical and disability coverage substantially identical to the coverage
maintained by the Bank or Holding Company for Executive prior to his severance,
except to the extent such coverage may be changed in its application to all Bank
or Holding Company employees on a nondiscriminatory basis.  Such coverage and
payments shall cease upon the expiration of thirty-six (36) full calendar months
from the Date of Termination.

     (c) Notwithstanding the preceding paragraphs of this Section 3, in no event
shall the aggregate payments or benefits to be made or afforded to Executive
under said paragraphs (the "Termination Benefits") constitute an "excess
parachute payment" under Section 280G of the Code or any successor thereto, and
in order to avoid such a result Termination Benefits will be 

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reduced, if necessary, to an amount (the "Non-Triggering Amount"), the value of
which is one dollar ($1.00) less than an amount equal to three (3) times
Executive's "base amount," as determined in accordance with said Section 280G.
The allocation of the reduction required hereby among the Termination Benefits
provided by the preceding paragraphs of this Section 3 shall be determined by
Executive.

4.   NOTICE OF TERMINATION.
     --------------------- 

     (a) Any purported termination by the Holding Company or by Executive in
connection with a Change in Control shall be communicated by Notice of
Termination to the other party hereto.  For purposes of this Agreement, a
"Notice of Termination" shall mean a written notice which shall indicate the
specific termination provision in this Agreement relied upon and shall set forth
in reasonable detail the facts and circumstances claimed to provide a basis for
termination of Executive's employment under the provision so indicated.

     (b) "Date of Termination" shall mean the date specified in the Notice of
Termination (which, in the instance of Termination for Cause, shall not be less
than thirty (30) days from the date such Notice of Termination is given).

     (c) If, within thirty (30) days after any Notice of Termination is given,
the party receiving such Notice of Termination notifies the other party that a
dispute exists concerning the termination, the Date of Termination shall be the
date on which the dispute is finally determined, either by mutual written
agreement of the parties, by a binding arbitration award, or by a final
judgment, order or decree of a court of competent jurisdiction (the time for
appeal therefrom having expired and no appeal having been perfected) and
provided further that the Date of Termination shall be extended by a notice of
dispute only if such notice is given in good faith and the party giving such
notice pursues the resolution of such dispute with reasonable diligence.
Notwithstanding the pendency of any such dispute in connection with a Change in
Control, in the event the Executive is terminated for reasons other than
Termination for Cause, the Holding Company or its subsidiaries will continue to
pay Executive his full compensation in effect when the notice giving rise to the
dispute was given (including, but not limited to his annual salary) and continue
him as a participant in all compensation, benefit and insurance plans in which
he was participating when the notice of dispute was given, until the earlier of:
(1) the resolution of the dispute in accordance with this Agreement or (2) the
expiration of the remaining term of this Agreement as determined as of the Date
of Termination.

5.   SOURCE OF PAYMENTS.
     ------------------ 

     It is intended by the parties hereto that all payments provided in this
Agreement shall be paid in cash or check from the general funds of the Holding
Company or its subsidiaries.

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6.   EFFECT ON PRIOR AGREEMENTS AND EXISTING BENEFIT PLANS.
     ----------------------------------------------------- 

     This Agreement contains the entire understanding between the parties hereto
and supersedes any prior agreement between the Holding Company and Executive,
except that this Agreement shall not affect or operate to reduce any benefit or
compensation inuring to Executive of a kind elsewhere provided.  No provision of
this Agreement shall be interpreted to mean that Executive is subject to
receiving fewer benefits than those available to him without reference to this
Agreement.

     Nothing in this Agreement shall confer upon Executive the right to continue
in the employ of the Holding Company or shall impose on the Holding Company any
obligation to employ or retain Executive in its employ for any period.

7.   NO ATTACHMENT.
     ------------- 

     (a) Except as required by law, no right to receive payments under this
Agreement shall be subject to anticipation, commutation, alienation, sale,
assignment, encumbrance, charge, pledge, or hypothecation, or to execution,
attachment, levy, or similar process or assignment by operation of law, and any
attempt, voluntary or involuntary, to affect any such action shall be null,
void, and of no effect.

     (b) This Agreement shall be binding upon, and inure to the benefit of,
Executive, the Holding Company and their respective successors, heirs and
assigns.

8.   MODIFICATION AND WAIVER.
     ----------------------- 

     (a) This Agreement may not be modified or amended except by an instrument
in writing signed by the parties hereto.

     (b) No term or condition of this Agreement shall be deemed to have been
waived, nor shall there be any estoppel against the enforcement of any provision
of this Agreement, except by written instrument of the party charged with such
waiver or estoppel.  No such written waiver shall be deemed a continuing waiver
unless specifically stated therein, and each such waiver shall operate only as
to the specific term or condition waived and shall not constitute a waiver of
such term or condition for the future or as to any act other than that
specifically waived.

9.   REQUIRED REGULATORY PROVISIONS.
     ------------------------------ 

     (a) The board of directors may terminate Executive's employment at any
time, but any termination by the board of directors, other than Termination for
Cause, shall not prejudice Executive's right to compensation or other benefits
under this Agreement.  Executive shall not have the right to receive
compensation or other benefits for any period after Termination for Cause as
defined in Section 2(c) hereinabove.

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     (b) If Executive is suspended from office and/or temporarily prohibited
from participating in the conduct of the institution's affairs by a notice
served under Section 8(e)(3) or 8(g)(1) of the Federal Deposit Insurance Act (12
U.S.C. (S)1818(e)(3) or (g)(1)), the institution's obligations under this
contract shall be suspended as of the date of service, unless stayed by
appropriate proceedings.  If the charges in the notice are dismissed, the
institution may in its discretion (i) pay Executive all or part of the
compensation withheld while their contract obligations were suspended and (ii)
reinstate (in whole or in part) any of the obligations which were suspended.

     (c) If Executive is removed and/or permanently prohibited from
participating in the conduct of the institution's affairs by an order issued
under Section 8(e)(4) or 8(g)(1) of the Federal Deposit Insurance Act (12 U.S.C.
(S)1818(c)(4) or (g)(1)), all obligations of the institution under this contract
shall terminate as of the effective date of the order, but vested rights of the
contracting parties shall not be affected.

     (d) If the institution is in default as defined in Section 3(x)(1) of the
Federal Deposit Insurance Act, all obligations under this contract shall
terminate as of the date of default, but this paragraph shall not affect any
vested rights of the contracting parties.

     (e) All obligations under this contract shall be terminated, except to the
extent determined that continuation of the contract is necessary for the
continued operation of the institution:  (i) by the Director or his or her
designee at the time the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation or Resolution
Trust Corporation enters into an agreement to provide assistance to or on behalf
of the institution under the authority contained in Section 13(c) of the Federal
Deposit Insurance Act; or (ii) by the Director or his or her designee at the
time the Director or his or her designee approves a supervisory merger to
resolve problems related to operation of the institution or when the institution
is determined by the Director to be in an unsafe or unsound condition.  Any
rights of the parties that have already vested, however, shall not be affected
by such action.

     (f) Any payments made to Executive pursuant to this Agreement, or
otherwise, are subject to and conditioned upon compliance with 12 U.S.C.
(S)1828(k) and 12 C.F.R. (S) 545.121 and any rules and regulations promulgated
thereunder.

10.  REINSTATEMENT OF BENEFITS UNDER SECTION 9(b).
     -------------------------------------------- 

     In the event Executive is suspended and/or temporarily prohibited from
participating in the conduct of the Holding Company's affairs by a notice
described in Section 9(b) hereof (the "Notice") during the term of this
Agreement and a Change in Control, as defined herein, occurs, the Bank will
assume its obligation to pay and Executive will be entitled to receive all of
the termination benefits provided for under Section 3 of this Agreement upon the
Holding Company's receipt of a dismissal of charges in the Notice.

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11.  SEVERABILITY.
     ------------ 

     If, for any reason, any provision of this Agreement, or any part of any
provision, is held invalid, such invalidity shall not affect any other provision
of this Agreement or any part of such provision not held so invalid, and each
such other provision and part thereof shall to the full extent consistent with
law continue in full force and effect.

12.  HEADINGS FOR REFERENCE ONLY.
     --------------------------- 

     The headings of sections and paragraphs herein are included solely for
convenience of reference and shall not control the meaning or interpretation of
any of the provisions of this Agreement.  In addition, references to the
masculine shall apply equally to the feminine.

13.  GOVERNING LAW.
     ------------- 

     The validity, interpretation, performance, and enforcement of this
Agreement shall be governed by Federal law.

14.  ARBITRATION.
     ----------- 

     Any dispute or controversy arising under or in connection with this
Agreement shall be settled exclusively by arbitration, conducted before a panel
of three arbitrators sitting in a location selected by Executive within fifty
(50) miles from the location of the Bank's main office, in accordance with the
rules of the American Arbitration Association then in effect.  Judgment may be
entered on the arbitrator's award in any court having jurisdiction; provided,
however, that Executive shall be entitled to seek specific performance of his
right to be paid until the Date of Termination during the pendency of any
dispute or controversy arising under or in connection with this Agreement, other
than in the case of a Termination for Cause.

15.  PAYMENT OF COSTS AND LEGAL FEES.
     ------------------------------- 

     All reasonable costs and legal fees paid or incurred by Executive pursuant
to any dispute or question of interpretation relating to this Agreement shall be
paid or reimbursed by the Holding Company if Executive is successful on the
merits pursuant to a legal judgment, arbitration or settlement.

16.  INDEMNIFICATION.
     --------------- 

          (a) The Holding Company shall provide Executive (including his heirs,
executors and administrators) with coverage under a standard directors' and
officers' liability insurance policy at its expense, and shall indemnify
Executive (and his heirs, executors and administrators) to the fullest extent
permitted under Federal law against all expenses and liabilities reasonably
incurred by him in connection with or arising out of any action, suit or
proceeding in which he may be involved by reason of his having been a director
or officer of the 

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Holding Company (whether or not he continues to be a director or officer at the
time of incurring such expenses or liabilities), such expenses and liabilities
to include, but not be limited to, judgments, court costs and attorneys' fees
and the cost of reasonable settlements.


17.  SUCCESSOR TO THE HOLDING COMPANY
     --------------------------------

     The Holding Company shall require any successor or assignee, whether direct
or indirect, by purchase, merger, consolidation or otherwise, to all or
substantially all the business or assets of the Holding Company, expressly and
unconditionally to assume and agree to perform the Holding Company's obligations
under this Agreement, in the same manner and to the same extent that the Holding
Company would be required to perform if no such succession or assignment had
taken place.

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                                   SIGNATURES

     IN WITNESS WHEREOF, West Essex Bancorp, Inc. has caused this Agreement to
be executed by its duly authorized officers, and Executive has signed this
Agreement, on the 2/nd/ day of February, 1999.


ATTEST:                             WEST ESSEX BANCORP, INC.

 /s/ Craig L. Montanaro             By:   /s/ Leopold W. Montanaro          
-------------------------------        ------------------------------------  
Secretary                              Leopold W. Montanaro               
                                       For the Entire Board of Directors  
 
SEAL



WITNESS:                            EXECUTIVE


 /s/ Lisa Mulligan                  By: /s/ Dennis A Petrello 
-------------------------------        ----------------------------------
                                       Dennis A Petrello 

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