PARENTING WITH A DISABILITY 

Know Your Rights 

Toolkit 
May 5, 2016

Dear Friends:

It’s normal for parents to want to do everything they can to keep their children 

safe and make sure they are healthy. But for many of the 4.1 million parents 

with disabilities in the United States, courts have decided they aren’t good 

parents just because they have disabilities. In fact, as of 2016, 35 states still 

said that if you had a disability, you could lose your right to be a parent, even 

if you didn’t hurt or ignore your child. 

People have not paid enough attention to the way parents with disabilities 

are treated differently and unfairly. No one makes it their most important 

issue, and there are not many legislators who are talking about the issue or 

trying to solve it. And yet, it is still very unfair to have others assume you 

can’t do certain things – like parent – because of your disability.

That is why the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation and the National 

Council of Disability (NCD) got together to give people with disabilities 

information about their rights as parents. 

The Parents with Disabilities Toolkit provides a summary of disability laws 

that protect families’ rights. Inside of the toolkit, you will find information on 

topics like adoption, custody, visitation, family law, and the child welfare 

system. We have also shared parts of NCD’s report, Rocking the Cradle, 

with stories from parents who have been treated unfairly because of their 

disabilities.

Knowledge is power, and helping people understand this issue is very 

important. Through this toolkit, we hope to get people talking about the unfair 

way parents with disabilities are treated every day. 

There are many ways to stop the way parents with disabilities are treated 

unfairly—the most important way is saying it is not okay to treat us unfairly! 

The first step is to know your rights. We hope this toolkit gives you lots of 

helpful information. 

Together, we can end the way parents with disabilities are treated unfairly 

and make the laws better to protect the rights of parents with disabilities all 

across the country. 

Peter Wilderotter Clyde Terry

President and CEO Chairperson

Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation National Council of Disability

4 Facts on Parenting with a Disability 

6 Disability Law 

8 Child Welfare System 

10 Child Welfare and Native American Community 

11 Reproductive Health Care 

12 Custody, Visitation, and Family Law System 

14 Adoption and Foster Care 

16 Custody, Visitation, and Family Law System 

18 Seeking Legal Representation 

19 Taking Action - Advocating for Change in 

Your State 

19 Resources and Acknowledgements

TABLE OF CONTENTS
4 PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES KNOW YOUR RIGHTS TOOLKIT 5

Most state laws say that courts 

can decide someone isn’t a good 

parent just because they have a 

disability
6 PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES KNOW YOUR RIGHTS TOOLKIT 7

The ADA is a law that says you can’t treat people with 

disabilities unfairly. That means you shouldn’t receive fewer 

benefits or services, and agencies may not say they won’t 

help you, just because you have a disability. 

In August 2015, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) 

and the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) gave important advice to the 

states on how to protect the rights of parents with disabilities and people with 

disabilities who may become parents. They started working together to make 

sure that parents with disabilities and their kids are safe and doing well. 

The first part of the advice that HHS and DOJ gave to the states was that 

they needed to treat all parents with disabilities based on what was actually 

going on in their family’s lives and not on what they thought might be going 

on because a parent has a disability. 

The second part of the advice that HHS and DOJ gave to the states was that 

parents with disabilities must get an equal chance to use child welfare 

programs and services, including some that are made to help parents with 

disabilities and their kids. 

The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 

(ADA) protect the rights of people with disabilities. The Rehabilitation Act 

says that agencies and programs that get money from the U.S. government 

cannot treat people with disabilities unfairly. The ADA says the same thing 

for state and local governments as well as private companies. 

Because of the Rehabilitation Act and the ADA, state child welfare agencies, 

public and private adoption agencies, and doctors who help women with 

pregnancies may not treat people with disabilities unfairly. They must also 

make sure that people with disabilities can do the same things through their 

programs as people without disabilities. They must also help people with 

disabilities based on their 

individual needs. The 

Affordable Care Act of 2010 

says that all hospitals and 

doctors’ offices, including 

doctors who help women 

become pregnant and help 

them stay healthy while they’re 

pregnant, must treat people 

with disabilities fairly. 

The ADA says that state and local governments must: 

 Provide an equal chance for people with disabilities to take part in 

programs, services, or activities and make some changes if they 

need to so that the person with a disability can join. 

 Provide help when it’s needed to make sure that people with 

disabilities understand what is being said or done. They might have 

to bring in a sign language interpreter to speak in sign language to a 

deaf person or have someone take notes to help the person 

remember what happened. 

 Make sure people with disabilities can take part in programs, 

activities, and services by allowing them to be hard or impossible to 

use or enjoy because of a person’s disability. 

The ADA says that private companies must: 

 Make reasonable changes so that people with disabilities can use and 

enjoy their buildings and the goods and services that they are offering. 

 Make sure that no person with a disability is kept out, not allowed to 

use their services, kept apart from people with disabilities, or treated 

differently because sign language interpreters, notetakers, or other 

help wasn’t provided. 

DISABILITY LAW
8 PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES KNOW YOUR RIGHTS TOOLKIT 9

Tiffany Callo is a wheelchair user with cerebral palsy. Her 

boyfriend also had a physical disability. In 1987, she gave birth to 

her first son, David. Right after David was born, the county child 

welfare agency said that Tiffany and her boyfriend could only take 

their son home if someone without a disability was there to take 

care of him all the time. They did have someone who could help, 

so they took David home. After a while, Tiffany and her boyfriend 

started fighting and sometimes Tiffany’s boyfriend hit her. 

Because of all the fighting, the person without a disability who 

helped take care of David moved out. The county child welfare 

agency took David and put him in a “foster home” where another 

family took care of David and he didn’t live with Tiffany and her 

boyfriend anymore. When Tiffany had her second baby, a boy 

named Jesse, the county took him to live in a foster home, as well. 

The county told a judge that she put David’s diaper on too slowly 

and that meant she couldn’t take care of him even though she was 

trying to take good care of him. The judge sent David and Jesse to 

live in separate homes away from each other and from Tiffany 

forever. Now, Tiffany only gets to see her boys once a year and 

someone has to be there to watch them.

Tiffany’s story shows how parents who have disabilities have been treated 

unfairly because judges, social workers, and others who are trying to protect 

children think people with disabilities can never be good parents. The next 

few sections of this toolkit show how laws meant to protect children can 

sometimes cause parents with disabilities to lose their children. 

The “child welfare system” is the name for services that a state or county 

offer that are meant to help children stay safe and happy, and also to help 

them either stay in the home they were born in or find a good home where 

they can stay until they grow up. People who work in the child welfare system 

sometimes hear that a child is being hurt or is not being taken care of and 

they are supposed to try and help the child. 

The ADA says that child welfare agencies must: 

 Give a fair chance to parents with disabilities to take part in 

programs, services, or activities and make changes to make sure 

that’s possible.

 Provide help when it’s needed to make sure that people with 

disabilities understand what is being said or done. 

 Not keep people with disabilities from getting help from programs, 

activities, and services by making them to be hard or to use because 

of a person’s disability. 

Even though the ADA 

said states had to treat 

people fairly, some 

state laws continue to 

say that a person’s 

disability can be the 

r

t

t

eason they take away 

a parent’s children. 

That means parents 

with disabilities still get 

reated unfairly by the 

child welfare system. 

Parents with disabilities 

who are Black, Latino, 

Asian, or other nonWhite races are even 

more likely to be 

reated unfairly. 

In the District of Columbia, Georgia, Kansas, Maryland, Mississippi, New 

Mexico, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, and South Carolina, if a parent has 

a physical disability, the state can take away his or her child, even if they 

didn’t hurt or ignore them.

CHILD WELFARE SYSTEM
10 PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES KNOW YOUR RIGHTS TOOLKIT 11

CHILD WELFARE SYSTEM AND THE 

NATIVE AMERICAN COMMUNITY

Sadly, for a long time, the United States government took Native American 

children away from their parents and tribes. Native Americans with 

disabilities were even more likely to have their children taken away because 

of the parent’s disability. 

In 1978, a new law called the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) said that it 

was wrong to take Native American children away from their families. 

ICWA says that people who work for child welfare agencies have to: 

 Help the family stay together and be healthy and happy. 

 Identify where a child can go if they can’t stay with the parents, and 

make sure they stay with a grandparent or aunt or uncle or someone 

in the family. If there is no family the child can stay with, the child 

should at least stay with a family in the same tribe. 

 Tell a child’s tribe and parents anytime a judge considers taking a 

child away from his or her parents and tribe. 

 Make sure that the child’s tribe and parents are a part of what the 

judge is considering. 

Even though the ADA and ICWA say that parents with disabilities from Native 

American tribes cannot be treated unfairly, there are still lots of Native 

American parents with disabilities who are having a hard time keeping their 

children. 

If you, your partner, or your child are a member of a Native American tribe 

and the child welfare agency has called or written you, remember that there 

are laws that say you cannot be treated unfairly. For help with your situation, 

call the Native American Disability Law Center or the National Indian Child 

Welfare Association. 

Sometimes a person with a disability really wants to have child, but they 

need a doctor to help them. When people with disabilities want to become 

parents but need help from a doctor, doctors and nurses are sometimes very 

unfair to them because they have wrong ideas about people with disabilities. 

Sometimes, their offices are hard to visit or the equipment doesn’t work for 

people with disabilities. 

When people need help becoming pregnant, doctors help them by using 

tools that are called “assistive reproductive technologies (ART).” ART 

includes using tools inside or outside of a woman’s body to help her become 

pregnant or by using another woman who can be pregnant for her instead. 

Doctors who use these tools must follow what the ADA says and if those 

doctors accept Medicaid or Medicare, then they have to do what the 

Rehabilitation Act says, too. 

The ADA says that doctors that help women get pregnant have to: 

 Not make up reasons to not help people with disabilities use ART 

 Give people with disabilities a chance to use ART and change how 

they do it if they can so that it works for the person with a disability. 

 Make sure people with disabilities aren’t left out, told they can’t use 

ART, separated from people without disabilities, or treated differently 

because the doctor didn’t give them help they needed like sign 

language interpreters, notetakers, and other kinds of help. 

 Get rid of things about their buildings that make it difficult or 

impossible for people with disabilities to come inside 

 Make it so that the person with a disability who wants to be a parent 

can get the product and service the doctor would give to people 

without disabilities in a different way. Doctors only have to do this if 

it’s not too hard though. 

Sadly, many doctors who help women get pregnant treat patients unfairly 

because the patients may not be married, may be gay or lesbian, may have 

family members with certain medical problems, may have certain disabilities, 

or may not have finished school. What’s more, Medicare and Medicaid—the 

type of health insurance many people with disabilities have—do not cover the 

services doctors give to help women get pregnant. But since the ADA says 

doctors have to make it so people with disabilities can take part in their 

programs, services, and activities, ART may be something they have to do 

for a person with a disability who can’t get pregnant any other way

REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH CARE
12 PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES KNOW YOUR RIGHTS TOOLKIT 13

Kaney O’Neill is a mother and used to be in the military. She uses a 

wheelchair. Ten weeks after she gave birth to her son, her boyfriend 

told a judge he wanted to keep their son and not let Kaney take care 

of him. He claimed that she would not be a good mother because of 

her disability. Kaney had been getting ready to be a mom by 

working with a program that helps women who will be having 

babies soon. Kaney also had baby items that were specially made 

for moms with disabilities and she had someone she could pay 

to help her if she needed it. Even people who didn’t know Kaney 

said they thought her son would be better off with his father since 

he didn’t have a disability and Kaney did. After a year-and-a-half 

fight, Kaney was able to keep her son and agreed to let her exboyfriend visit their son sometimes. 

The Rehabilitation Act and the ADA say that family law courts have to: 

 Give a fair chance to parents with disabilities to take part in 

programs, services, or activities and make reasonable changes to 

make sure that’s possible.

 Provide sign language interpreters, notetakers, or other help when 

it’s needed to make sure that people with disabilities understand 

what is being said or done

 Not keep people with disabilities from getting help from programs, 

activities, and services by allowing them to be hard or impossible to 

use or enjoy because of a person’s disability. 

If parents don’t want to stay together and they are not able to decide which 

one of them will take care of their children or how they will visit their children, 

a family court will decide. The judge of a family court decides based on what 

is best for the child. 

It’s sad, but many parents with disabilities are treated unfairly in family court 

because sometimes the judge thinks people with disabilities are not able to 

do certain things and would be bad parents. 

In 1979, there was a very important legal case about parents with disabilities. 

A father and mother had decided how they would take care of their children, 

but after they decided, the father got hurt with a spinal cord injury and he 

couldn’t use his hands and arms and feet and legs the same way he used to. 

The mother wanted to change what they agreed because he had a disability. 

The first judge agreed with her, but later, another judge said she was wrong 

and that his disability shouldn’t affect how he’s allowed to take care of his 

kids. That judge knew that the way a parent and child love each other is 

about a lot more than just whether or not they can do certain things together 

that he might need his hands or feet for. 

Judges in every state in the United States decides which parent or parents 

will be able to take care of children based on what is best for the children. All 

states say it is okay for a judge to think about the way a parent thinks or how 

healthy they are, but they don’t say whether a judge can think about a 

parent’s disability when deciding who will be able to take care of children. 

That also means that most states don’t have any laws that protect parents 

with disabilities whenges are deciding these types of cases

CUSTODY, VISITATION & FAMILY LAW 

SYSTEM
14 PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES KNOW YOUR RIGHTS TOOLKIT 15

Rachel (not her real name) and her partner spent 15 years trying to 

adopt a baby. Because they both used wheelchairs, they were told 

by a local child welfare agency that they could not adopt a child or 

be “foster parents” (a “foster parent” is someone who has a child 

who has problems at home live with them until the child can move 

back in with their own parents). They told the child agency that that 

they had been treated unfairly, and finally a brother and sister were 

sent to live with them with them as foster parents. But the real 

mother of the brother and sister found out that Rachel and her 

partner used wheelchairs and she didn’t think they could take care 

of the children, so the child welfare agency took the children away

from them. A few years later, Rachel and her partner went to a 

private agency instead of the state child welfare agency and tried to 

adopt or be foster parents again. Sadly, that agency didn’t think 

they could be good parents either just because they used

wheelchairs and wouldn’t help them. Several years later, they met a 

child whose foster parents did not want to be her temporary parents 

anymore because she had disabilities, finally, Rachel and her 

partner adopted the girl and became a family. 

The ADA and Rehabilitation Act say that state and local governments and 

public and private adoption agencies cannot treat people with disabilities 

unfairly when they try to adopt. This means that they must be given a fair 

chance to adopt a child or become foster parents, and the agency needs to 

change how they do things to make sure that can happen. 

Not only do agencies have to listen to what the ADA and Rehabilitation Act 

say, the ADA specifically says that adoption agencies must treat people with 

disabilities who want to be parents fairly. The ADA says that adoption 

agencies cannot decide who can adopt a child based on the disability of the 

person trying to become the child’s mom or dad, and they can’t make it 

harder for a person with a disability to adopt than it is for other people unless 

there is a good reason for the rules that are making it harder.

ADOPTION AND FOSTER CARE
16 PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES KNOW YOUR RIGHTS TOOLKIT 17

Some states have decided to pass important laws that says parents with 

disabilities should not be treated unfairly. 

Arkansas

In 1997, Arkansas said that the ADA applied to their own state laws and said 

that the child welfare department had to make changes for parents with

disabilities so that parents with disabilities would have a fair chance to use 

state programs that help bring families back together or keep them together 

in the first place. 

Idaho

People who make laws in Idaho passed four new laws in 2002 and 2003 

because of the hard work of disability advocates at the Idaho State 

Independent Living Council and the Fathers and Mothers Independently 

Living with their Youth (FAMILY) Coalition that said it was not okay to treat 

parents with disabilities unfairly in different kinds of court cases that involve 

families and children, including when parents get divorced and when people 

want to adopt a child. 

Kansas

Disability advocates at the State Independent Living Council of Kansas 

thought what advocates did in Idaho was good and they wanted to do the 

same thing where they lived. So in 2005, they helped to get a new law that 

said that parents with disabilities cannot be treated unfairly and that a child 

cannot be taken away from a parent just because they have a disability. The 

law also said that when judges figure out what is best for a child, they have to 

think about how parents with disabilities will use items specially made for 

parents with disabilities to help them be parents. 

California

Disability advocates at Disability Rights California (lawyers in California who 

help people with disabilities) worked with another group called Through the 

Looking Glass to try to get a new law passed that would make California 

Medicaid pay for baby items that were specially made for parents with 

disabilities. Even though there was a new law, a few years later, still no one 

was doing what the new law said yet. 

Rhode Island

In 2000, Rhode Island said that children couldn’t be taken away from a 

parent just because the parent had a disability. 

Vermont

In 2007, Vermont changed its law and said that when judges figure out what is 

best for a child, they have to think about the things parents with disabilities are 

good at doing and how parents with disabilities could use helpers and items 

specially made for parents with disabilities to help them be good parents.

Maryland

In 2009, Maryland passed a law that said parents, guardians, and caregivers 

with disabilities couldn’t be treated unfairly when it comes to adoptions or when 

a judge has to figure out where a child should live or what is best for a child.

Missouri

In 2011, Missouri passed a law that said that parents with disabilities had to 

be treated fairly when judges figure out what is best for a child. The law 

changed after two parents who were blind had their baby taken away from 

them just because they were blind.

CUSTODY, VISITATION & FAMILY LAW 

SYSTEM
18 PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES KNOW YOUR RIGHTS TOOLKIT 19

If parents don’t want to stay together and they are not able to decide which 

one of them will take care of their children or how they will visit their children, 

a family court will decide. If that is happening to you, you should speak with a 

lawyer. In most states, the court will have to make sure you have a lawyer 

that will help you. But even if a court helps you find a lawyer, not many know 

much about disability laws and what they mean for parents with disabilities, 

and you may want to find one who does. 

The U.S. government 

gives money to each state 

to have a group of lawyers 

in every state and territory 

to provide legal services to 

people with disabilities. To 

find that group in your 

area, visit the website of 

the National Disability 

Rights Network at 

www.NDRN.org. 

Legal Aid agencies also 

provide free or low-cost 

legal help. Find one in 

your state by visiting their 

website at 

www.LawHelp.org. 

A group called “Through the Looking Glass” is also very good at helping 

parents with disabilities. They have a program that helps parents find 

information, get help with how to parent, and other types of help, too. Their 

website is www.lookingglass.org. 

Figuring out how someone takes care of and treats his or her child is a very 

important part of how judges decide what is best for a child for where they 

should live and who should be able to visit them. Your lawyer should make 

sure that whoever is trying to figure out how you take care of and treat your 

child knows about disabilities and how to work with parents with disabilities. 

Even though there are lots of very good disability laws, parents with

disabilities continue to be treated unfairly and many states still have laws that 

allow that unfair treatment to happen. A disability rights group called the 

National Council on Independent Living (NCIL), which has lots of centers in 

every state, is fighting hard to make states change their laws so that parents 

with disabilities are treated fairly. If you want to help them, go to the center 

closest to you or go online to learn more at www.ncil.org. 

There are lots of people who helped make this toolkit who we would like to 

thank:

 Robyn Powell and the Disabled Parenting Project 

 Kelly Buckland and the National Council on Independent Living 

 Through the Looking Glass – a national resource, training, and 

service center for parents with disabilities 

This toolkit includes lots of information that is from a report written by the 

National Council on Disability called Rocking the Cradle: Ensuring the Rights 

of Parents with Disabilities and Their Children. You can look at a copy of that 

report online by going to http://www.ncd.gov/publications/2012/Sep272012. 

Please visit the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation online for more 

information about parenting with a disability. Go to their website at 

www.ChristopherReeve.org

TAKING ACTION – ADVOCATING 

FOR CHANGE IN YOUR STATE

RESOURCES AND 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

SEEKING LEGAL REPRESENTATION
18

 

PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES

We’re here to help. 

Learn more today! 

Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation 

636 Morris Turnpike, Suite 3A 

Short Hills, NJ 07078 

(800) 539-7309 toll free 

(973) 467-8270 phone 

ChristopherReeve.org

National Council on Disability 

1331 F Street, NW, Suite 850 

Washington, DC 20004 

(202) 272-2004 (voice) 

(202) 272-2074 (TTY) 

www.ncd.gov