Warning Signs that a Child is 

Being Bullied

What is bullying?

Bullying among children is aggressive behavior 

that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of

power or strength. Typically, it is repeated over time.

Bullying can take many forms, such as hitting and/or

punching (physical bullying); teasing or name-calling

(verbal bullying); intimidation using gestures or social

exclusion (nonverbal bullying or emotional bullying);

and sending insulting messages by phone or

computer e-mail (cyberbullying).* Many children,

particularly boys and older children, do not tell their

parents or adults at school about being bullied. It is

important that adults are vigilant to possible signs 

of bullying.

Warning signs

Possible warning signs that a child is being bullied:

• Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing

pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings;

• Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches;

• Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she

spends time;

• Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and

from school, riding the school bus, or taking part

in organized activities with peers (such as clubs);

• Takes a long, “illogical” route when walking to or

from school;

• Has lost interest in school work or suddenly

begins to do poorly in school;

• Appears sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he

or she comes home;

• Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches,

or other physical ailments;

• Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams;

• Experiences a loss of appetite; or

• Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem.

What to do if you suspect that your child 

is being bullied?

If your child shows any of these signs, this does not

necessarily mean that he or she is being bullied,

but it is a possibility worth exploring. What should

you do? Talk with your child and talk with staff at

school to learn more.

1. Talk with your child. Tell your child that you are

concerned and that you’d like to help. Here are

some questions that can get the discussion going:

Some direct questions:

• “I’m worried about you. Are there any kids 

at school who may be picking on you or 

bullying you?”

• “Are there any kids at school who tease you in a

mean way?”

• “Are there any kids at school who leave you out or

exclude you on purpose?”

Some subtle questions:

• “Do you have any special friends at school this

year? Who are they? Who do you hang out with?”

• “Who do you sit with at lunch and on the bus?”

• “Are there any kids at school who you really don’t

like? Why don’t you like them? Do they ever pick

on you or leave you out of things?”

*Children with disabilities may be at a higher risk of being bullied than other children.
These and other materials are available online at: www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov

2. Talk with staff at your child’s school. Call or set up

an appointment to talk with your child’s teacher. He

or she will probably be in the best position to

understand the relationships between your child

and other peers at school. Share your concerns

about your child and ask the teacher such

questions as:

• “How does my child get along with other

students in his or her class?”

• “With whom does he or she spend free time?”

• “Have you noticed or have you ever suspected that

my child is bullied by other students?” Give

examples of some ways that children can be bullied

to be sure that the teacher is not focusing only on

one kind of bullying (such as physical bullying). 

Ask the teacher to talk with other adults who

interact with your child at school (such as the music

teacher, physical education teacher, or bus driver)

to see whether they have observed students

bullying your child. 

If you are not comfortable talking with your child’s

teacher, or if you are not satisfied with the

conversation, make an appointment to meet with

your child’s guidance counselor or principal to

discuss your concerns. 

If you obtain information from your child or from

staff at your child’s school that leads you to believe

that he or she is being bullied, take quick action.

Bullying can have serious effects on children. 

If, after talking with your child and staff at his or her

school, you don’t suspect that your child is being

bullied, stay vigilant to other possible problems

that your child may be having. Some of the warning

signs above (e.g., depression, social isolation, and

loss of interest in school) may be signs of other

serious problems. Share your concerns with a

counselor at your child’s school.

References

Olweus, D. (1993). Bullying at school: What we know and what we can do. NY: Blackwell.

Olweus, D., Limber, S., & Mihalic, S. (1999). The Bullying Prevention Program: Blueprints for violence prevention. Boulder, CO: Center for the Study

and Prevention of Violence.