1

National

Cooperative

Soil

Survey Newsletter

Issue 24

August 2003

In This Issue—

Editor’s Note

Issues of this newsletter are

available on the World Wide Web

(http://soils.usda.gov/). Click on NCSS,

then on Activities & Newsletters, and

then on the desired issue number.

You are invited to submit stories for

future issues of this newsletter to

Stanley Anderson, National Soil Survey

Center, Lincoln, Nebraska. Phone—

402-437-5357; FAX—402-437-5336;

email—

stan.anderson@nssc.nrcs.usda.gov.

National Cooperative Soil

Survey (NCSS) Honors

NRCS Soil Scientists

By Sylvia Rainford, Public Affairs Specialist,

NRCS, Conservation Communications Staff,

Washington, D.C.

The NCSS will honor two NRCS soil scientists for exemplary

performance in soil survey production.

Thomas P. D’Avello from Champaign,

Illinois, will receive this year’s NCSS

Soil Scientist of the Year award, and

Kerry Arroues of Hanford, California,

will receive this year’s NCSS Soil

Scientist Achievement Award.

NCSS cited D’Avello for his

“exceptional achievement” in soil

survey production. He has worked on

the Soil Science staff in Illinois for 13

years, specializing in geographic

information systems (GIS). He has

published several papers on the use of

GIS in the soil survey program and has

led several projects that advanced the

development of new techniques for

making digital soil surveys. Under

D’Avello’s leadership, NRCS in Illinois

has secured more than 60 cost-share

agreements with State and local

governments to deliver digitized soil

surveys valued at more than $1 million

annually.

Kerry Arroues was also selected by

NCSS for his “exceptional

achievement” in soil survey production.

Arroues has been mapping soils in

California’s San Joaquin Valley for

more than 27 years and has authored or

participated in five soil surveys. As a

major land resource area (MLRA)

project leader, he is responsible for two

MLRAs covering the Central and San

Joaquin Valleys and Sierra Nevada in

that State. He has authored more than

15 publications on soil survey practices

and initiated a movement that led to

legislation that ratified the California

State Soil—the San Joaquin series.

D’Avello received his award at the

NCSS Conference in Plymouth,

Massachusetts, in June 2003. Arroues

will receive his award at the 2003 Soil

Science Society of America national

meeting in Denver, Colorado, in

November 2003. 

Kerry Arroues

Thomas P. D’Avello

National Cooperative Soil Survey

(NCSS) Honors NRCS Soil

Scientists ........................................ 1

The State of the Nation’s

Ecosystems..................................... 2

Electromagnetic Induction

Facilitates Soil Survey ................... 4

Soil Geochemistry Workshop ............. 5

Examples of Soil Names of

American Indian Origin ................. 5

Mark Twain on Climate and Soil

 in Nevada ...................................... 6

A Mark Twain Story on Agriculture.... 8
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NCSS Newsletter

The State of the Nation’s

Ecosystems

By Karl W. Hipple, National Leader, Soil

Survey Interpretations, NRCS, National Soil

Survey Center, Lincoln, Nebraska.

The State of the Nation’s Ecosystems: Measuring the

Lands, Waters, and Living Resources of

the United States, by the H. John Heinz

III, Center for Science, Economics and

the Environment, was published in

2000 by Cambridge University Press,

NY (270 pp., ISBN 0-521-52572-1,

$25.00 soft-cover). It provides a

methodology for “taking the pulse” of

America’s natural resources based on

several defined ecosystems. This

attractive, colorful book is not for

leisurely reading. It is a serious, factual,

comprehensive book containing an

abundance of scientific information

presented in a fairly straightforward and

not-too-technical manner.

 The treatment of data helps the

reader to understand the complexity

and enormousness of the effort required

to collect and report ecosystem trend

data. The publication clearly identifies

what we know and what we do not

know regarding the nation’s

ecosystems. It demonstrates that

scientists have miles to go before they

possess all the needed data but that

useful relationships and trends can be

established presently even with only

part of the required data set.

This book is a collective effort of

almost 150 researchers. The proposed

framework used by the group to

evaluate natural resources may not be

ideal, but it demonstrates a new

perspective on the issue. It also clearly

establishes a template that can be used

for periodic evaluation and reporting on

the state of our natural resources.

According to the writers, it is “the first

report in what is intended to be a series

of regular reports.”

Several employees of the USDA,

Natural Resources Conservation

Service (NRCS), served in various

capacities on the project. Some served

on the Design Team, while others

served as specialists in working groups

on established ecosystem teams. Among

the recognizable NRCS names are

Maury Mausbauch, Lawrence Clark,

Jeri Berc, Daryl Lund, Leonard Jolley,

and Dennis Thompson. Another easily

recognizable project member is Craig

Cox, Executive Director of the Soil and

Water Conservation Society. The

project team is comprised of a variety

of people representing State and

Federal governments, environmental

groups, academia, and numerous

foundations.

The broad spectrum of team

members was intended to provide a

balanced approach to this project. This

goal was clearly accomplished. Other

stated goals were:

1) To produce a report for

decision-makers and leaders

wanting “big picture”

information on America’s

ecosystems.

 2) To identify a succinct set

of strategic indicators that can

help to define and rate the

nation’s ecosystems.

3) To provide decisionmakers scientific information

without making value

judgements and policy

recommendations.

4) To provide a report that

focuses on the condition of the

nation’s ecosystems.

5) To select indicators that

reflect both the goods and

services derived from

ecosystems as well as key

measurable ecosystem

properties.

 6) To identify critical data

gaps.

The Design Team used the land

cover approach in defining

ecosystems instead of a geographic

approach. The land cover approach

bases ecosystem types on the dominant

vegetation or other physical

characteristics. In contrast, the

geographic approach takes into account

all regional living and nonliving things,

regardless of vegetation types. This

fact, like many other qualifiers, is

clearly stated.

The book is divided into two parts.

Part I identifies needs, origins,

principles, and processes and discusses

the report framework. It also addresses

knowns and unknowns about the

nation’s ecosystems and identifies the

six ecosystems selected by the Design

Team to represent America. These are:

1) Coasts and oceans,

2) Farmlands,

3) Forests,

4) Fresh waters,

5) Grasslands and shrublands,

and

6) Urban and suburban areas.

 Part II discusses indicators that

characterize national ecosystems, core

national indicators, and existing data

gaps that must be filled before

comprehensive analyses can be

completed. The work groups also

identified between 15 and 20 specific

indicators used to evaluate ecosystem

status plus an additional set of core

national indicators.

Interestingly, urban and suburban

lands were identified not by population

density, but by physical characteristics.

Such criteria as percent of area covered

by buildings, roads, concrete, etc. were

used in conjunction with a minimum

land area size to categorize an area as

urban and suburban. This definition

excludes some developed lands. For
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NCSS Newsletter

example, some rural paved roads and

small built-up areas are excluded

because of their size, a factor that limits

the comparability of the data with some

other existing data. Again, the authors

are up front in divulging this

information.

The latter section of Part II has a set

of technical notes arranged by

ecosystem type. While not inclusive for

all indicators, these provide additional

useful information. Each technical note

includes a succinct description of the

indicator and additional information

regarding the data, such as data source,

data manipulation, data collection

methodology, data analyses, data

quality, and data access. Each technical

note also has a reference section to

help the user gain additional

information.

Four groups of ecosystem

Table 1.—Example of Basic Comparison Framework

National Indicators

Groups of Characteristics Ecosystem Characteristics

Category 1 System Dimensions

Extent Area of ecosystem and its major components

Fragmentation and landscape Ecosystem type patterns of shapes and sizes

pattern and their relationships to one another

Category 2 Chemical and Physical Conditions

Nutrients, carbon, and oxygen Quantities and concentrations of key nutrients

(nitrogen and phosphorus) and key elements

(carbon and oxygen)

Chemical contaminants Number of contaminants found and how often

they exceed regulatory or advisory thresholds

Physical conditions Condition of physical aspects, such as erosion

and water temperature

Category 3 Biological Components

Plants and animals Native and nonnative plants and animals status

Biological communities Plant and animal community condition

Ecological productivity Plant growth on land and in water

Category 4 Human Use

Food, fiber, and water Values and amounts of products for human use

Other services, including Tangible and intangible services provided

recreation

characteristics, additionally subdivided

into ten major characteristics, provide a

framework for data comparisons. An

example that demonstrates the basic

framework for national indicators is

shown in table 1. Depending on the

selected ecosystem, a variable number

of indicators is used to define and

compare ecosystem characteristics.

Pertinent identified indicators were not

discarded simply because data did not

exist.

Overall, the H. John Heinz Center

has furthered our understanding of the

nation’s resources and their

interrelations within ecosystems and

large-scale components of our world. I

recommend this publication as a

credible source of information

regarding the state of our nation’s

ecosystems in the cases where data

were available. The authors clearly

identify the areas where data are

insufficient or nonexistent. The

publication provides additional

references that can be used to expand

one’s knowledge of specific ecosystem

indicators, and it is up front regarding

the methodologies used to analyze data.

The report does not try to interpret

insufficient data, and it plainly

acknowledges existing data gaps. By

defining a framework and identifying

indicators that can be used to measure

ecosystem trends, it provides leverage

to solicit funds for the purpose of filling

data gaps or expanding data sets. It

makes a strong case that monitoring,

although expensive, is necessary if we

are to detect natural resource trends,

ecosystem changes, and their related

societal impacts.

This report, by maintaining political

neutrality, balance, and objectivity,

provides a model that decision-makers

and the public can use to become

informed and responsive to both

positive and negative impacts on the

nation’s ecosystems. 
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NCSS Newsletter

Electromagnetic

Induction Facilitates Soil

Survey

Wes Tuttle, Soil Scientist, NRCS, National

Soil Survey Center; stationed in Wilkesboro,

North Carolina.

The National Soil Survey Center (NSSC) is evaluating

alternative tools to help document soil

properties and aid in mapping soils.

One such tool is the electromagnetic

induction (EMI). EMI tools use

Figure 1.—An ArcView GIS image of the soils map and an apparent conductivity map (EMI survey) that have been overlain on an orthophoto of

the study site. The map of apparent conductivity represents variations in soil properties within the upper 150 cm of the soils. Patterns of

apparent conductivity conform very well to soil map units. Areas of higher apparent conductivity (red, pink, and orange colors) are

associated with areas that have comparatively higher moisture and clay contents (map unit symbols 21 and 29B). Areas of lower conductivity

are restricted to higher lying, better drained, and more sloping soils (map unit symbol 6C2).

concentrations of clay, locate ancient

stream channels, aid in burial detection,

locate septic fields, locate dissolution

features in karst topography, discern

between differing lithology in

reclaimed mine spoil areas, detect

plumes from waste storage facilities,

and aid in archaeological investigations.

EMI has been used to aid in quality

control of project soil surveys and line

placement of soil map unit boundaries.

The availability of computers, global

positioning systems, geographical

information systems, and geophysical

electromagnetic energy to measure the

apparent conductivity of earthen

materials (fig. 1). NSSC has provided

EMI training and technical assistance to

more than half of the States.

NSSC has two employees assigned

to operate these geophysical tools and

provide field technical assistance and

training as requested by the States. The

staff provides EMI assistance to

identify areas with high concentrations

of sodium and salts (saline seeps), assist

with depth to bedrock determinations,

identify areas with higher
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NCSS Newsletter

Soil Geochemistry

Workshop

By Michael Wilson, Research Soil Scientist,

Soil Survey Laboratory, National Soil Survey

Center, NRCS, Lincoln, Nebraska.

NRCS and the U.S. Geological

Survey recently co-sponsored a Soil

Geochemistry workshop to examine

tools is changing the way we look at

and map soils. Because of the speed

and ease of use, EMI technology has

significant advantages over

conventional soil survey techniques.

The efficiency of EMI fosters the

collection of larger data sets than is

possible with conventional soil survey

techniques. Because of the larger

number of observations, maps prepared

from EMI data can provide higher

levels of resolution than soil maps

prepared by conventional methods. In

many areas spatial patterns of apparent

conductivity correspond well with the

soil patterns shown on soil survey

maps.

EMI has proven to be a valuable

noninvasive tool, along with groundpenetrating radar, which allows

multiple observations with a minimal

amount of earth disturbance. Ground

truthing is needed to confirm

observable changes in apparent

conductivity as it relates to soil

properties.

EMI has gained wide acceptance

over the past few years. Multiple

applications of EMI within NRCS have

proven to be beneficial in past and

present use. EMI shows potential and

has expanded applications when used in

combination with the knowledge of

soils and soil properties. The future of

EMI within NRCS appears to be bright

as more applications are discovered. 

trace elements in soils. More than 100

persons from a variety of Federal and

State agencies, universities, foreign

nations, and private environmental

consulting companies gathered in

Denver, Colorado, recently to establish

the need for a continental scale

geochemical survey of soils and

surficial sediments and discuss

protocols that could be used for pilot

research studies, sampling, laboratory

analysis, data delivery, and products.

The NRCS National Soil Survey Center

has been producing soil trace element

data for several years and recognizes

the need for geochemistry information

as a part of the soil survey program in

the future. The need to link these data

to soil surveys was emphasized by the

many positive comments from potential

data users at the meeting. For the next

2-3 years, NRCS hopes to cooperate

with scientists from USGS to develop

several limited cooperative pilots to

establish protocols and to assure that

the actual national survey—if

implemented—will be 3-4 years in the

future.

Currently, the Soil Survey

Laboratory is analyzing selected pedons

from requests through the National

Cooperative Soil Survey (NCSS) as

part of a systemic program to evaluate

background trace element

concentrations in benchmark soils.

NRCS hopes to have these data

available to cooperators of the National

Soil Survey Program, as well as to the

general public in 2003 on the Web.

Linking geochemistry data to mapping

units of soil series can be achieved by

the use of representative or typifying

pedons, the conceptual basis of

sampling soils for characterization by

the NCSS. The goal of the current

project is to develop a dataset of soil

geochemistry from all major soil series

in the U.S. 

Examples of Soil Names of

American Indian Origin

Stephen Gourley, State Soil Scientist, USDA,

Natural Resources Conservation Service,

Colchester, Vermont.

Soil series are named after such features as mountains, streams,

rivers, hills, and villages that are in the

area where the soils are first

recognized. Some of the place names in

New England are derived from poor

attempts by the English, Dutch, and

French settlers to translate American

Indian names into their own languages.

Many Indian tribes settled along the

coast and throughout the river valleys

all over New England. Many of the

tribes relied on farming along with

hunting and fishing for food. They

understood many of the principles of

farming and soil conservation that we

use today. In fact, it would be accurate

to say that American Indians were the

first soil conservationists in North

America.

The American Indian names of

villages, individuals, and landscape

features are fairly well documented.

The spellings vary from author to

author as result of many attempts to

translate the American Indian

pronunciation into European languages.

As a result, the pronunciation that we

use today is probably not the same as

the pronunciation in the original native

language.

There a number of books written on

the origin of American Indian place

names. Unfortunately, the accuracy of

the translation of these place names

varies from source to source. During a

flurry of activity in New England in the

late 1800s and early 1900s, the

meanings of various place names that

were perceived to be of American

Indian origin were recorded. Some
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NCSS Newsletter

Mark Twain on Climate

and Soil in Nevada

By Stanley P. Anderson, Editor, NRCS,

National Soil Survey Center, Lincoln, Nebraska.

I

n a newspaper item entitled

 “Washoe.—‘Information

Wanted’,” Mark Twain comments on

the climate and soil of Nevada. This

item was first published in the Virginia

City Territorial Enterprise in May of

1864. It is included in Mark Twain:

Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, &

Essays, 1852–1890, edited by Louis J.

Budd (pages 78-82). The item was

written in response to a series of

questions about Nevada that a man

named William (last name withheld)

sent from Springfield, Missouri. The

first of these asked about the character

of Nevada’s climate, and the second

asked about what William called “the

productions of the earth.”

Following is Twain’s description of

“the productions of the earth” in

Nevada:

authors relied on local tradition for

their definitions and did not consult

with members of the local tribes. Future

authors unknowingly perpetuated

misinformation by using these

unreliable sources.

Local tribes are likely to be good

sources for translations, for information

about reliable sources, and for

verification of information collected

about the names. A series on American

Indians published by the Smithsonian

Institution should be consulted if there

are discrepancies among reliable

sources. This series is available in many

libraries.

Following are a few of the many

soils in New England that have names

of American Indian origin:

Allagash soil.—Allagash may have

been derived from the Abenaki word

walagaskok, which means “bark” or

“rough bark.”

Canandaigua soil.—Canandaigua

was a Seneca Tribe village that was

destroyed during a campaign by the

American Army under General John

Sullivan in 1779. Canandaigua may

have been derived from kanandarque,

which means the “chosen spot.”

Missisquoi soil.—Missisquoi is

derived from the Abenaki word

masipskoik, which means “where there

is flint” or “where flint is.” The name

originates from an Abenaki chert quarry

located near Missisquoi Bay on Lake

Champlain.

Monadnock soil.—The Abenaki

name for Mount Monadnock in

southeast New Hampshire is

menonadenak, which means “smooth

mountain.”

Occum soil.—Sampson Occum was

a Mohegan Christian missionary during

the latter part of the 1700s.

Podunk soil.—The Podunk Tribe

lived in the Connecticut River Valley in

northern Connecticut. Podunk may

have been derived from the word

petunk, which means “to put anything

in a bag” or “clean place.”

Scantic soil.—Scantic may have

been derived from Scanticook, which

was a Podunk Tribe village, or it may

have been derived from the Nipmuc

word scatacook, meaning “fork in the

river.”

Sunapee soil.—Sunapee may have

been derived from the Algonquin words

suna and apee, which together could be

translated as “goose lake.”

Taconic soil.—Taconic may have

been derived from a Mohegan or Natick

word which means wild forest or the

Delaware word tatchan, which means

“woodland.” 

What are the productions of

the earth? You mean in

Nevada, of course. On our

ranches here, anything can be

raised that can be produced on

the fertile fields of Missouri.

But ranches are very

scattering—as scattering,

perhaps, as lawyers in heaven.

Nevada, for the most part, is a

barren waste of sand,

embellished with melancholy

sage-brush, and fenced in with

snow clad mountains.

Here is Twain on Nevada’s climate,

which in his description appears to be

xeric:

It has no character to speak

of, William, and alas! in this

respect it resembles many, ah,

too many chambermaids in

this wretched, wretched world.

Sometimes we have the

seasons in their regular order,

and then again we have winter

all the summer and summer all

winter. Consequently, we have

never yet come across an

almanac that would just

exactly fit this latitude. It is

mighty regular about not

raining, though, William. It

will start in here in November

and rain about four, and

sometimes as much as seven

days on a stretch; after that,

you may loan out your

umbrella for twelve months,

with the serene confidence

which a Christian feels in four

aces. Sometimes the winter

begins in November and winds

up in June; and sometimes

there is a bare suspicion of

winter in March and April, and

summer all the balance of the

year. But as a general thing,

William, the climate is good,

what there is of it.
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NCSS Newsletter

An area of the Orovada series, which is Nevada’s state soil. Orovada soils are classified as Xeric Haplocambids. Semiarid rangeland covered with

brush and grass is in the foreground, and low mountains of rock outcrop are in the background.

Tommy Calhoun, who formerly was

the State Soil Scientist in Nevada, sent

me the following comments about

Twain’s description:

It’s pretty accurate, except

for the statement that most of

Nevada is a barren waste of

sand. Very little is sand. A lot

is saline, and the soils are

often called sand because of

their unproductivity. He also

says that anything grown in

Missouri can also be grown on

the Nevada ranches. He leaves

out the fact that in Nevada

water must be applied. His

characterization of the Nevada

climate, what there is of it, is

quite accurate. The year we

moved from Nevada, I had to

go out and cover my tomato

plants to protect them from

frost on June 29th. I remember

that date specifically because

it is my birthday.

The pattern of rainfall in Nevada is

briefly described in chapter LV of

Roughing It (1872). Twain notes that a

rain shower late one afternoon was

“astonishing” because “it only rains

(during a week or two weeks) in the

winter in Nevada, and even then not

enough at a time to make it worthwhile

for any merchant to keep umbrellas for

sale.”

Twain comments on another element

of the Nevada climate, the wind, in

chapter XXI of Roughing It, noting

that in summer “the daily Washoe

Zephyr” is a “ pretty regular” wind,”

that its “office hours are from two in the

afternoon till two the next morning,”

and that it is accompanied by “a soaring

dust drift about the size of the United

States set up edgewise.” This “vast dust

cloud” is “thickly freckled with things

strange to the upper air,” including,

from the highest to the lowest elevation:

“hats, chickens, and parasols

sailing in the remote heavens”

“blankets, tin signs, sagebrush and

shingles a shade lower”

“doormats and buffalo robes lower

still”

“shovels and coal scuttles on the

next grade”

“glass doors, cats, and little

children on the next”

“disrupted lumberyards, light

buggies, and wheelbarrows on

the next”

and, 30 or 40 feet above the

ground, “a scurrying storm of

emigrating roofs and vacant

lots.”
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NCSS Newsletter

The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) prohibits discrimination in all

its programs and activities on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex,

religion, age, disability, political beliefs, sexual orientation, or marital or family

status. (Not all prohibited bases apply to all programs.) Persons with disabilities

who require alternative means for communication of program information

(Braille, large print, audiotape, etc.) should contact USDA’s TARGET Center at

(202) 720-2600 (voice and TDD).

To file a complaint of discrimination, write USDA, Director, Office of Civil

Rights, Room 326-W, Whitten Building, 1400 Independence Avenue, SW,

Washington, D.C. 20250-9410 or call (202) 720-5964 (voice and TDD). USDA

is an equal opportunity provider and employer.

A Mark Twain Story on

Agriculture

By Stanley P. Anderson, Editor, NRCS,

National Soil Survey Center, Lincoln, Nebraska.

For idle amusement, check out the Mark Twain story “How I

Edited an Agricultural Paper Once,”

first published in Galaxy in July 1870.

This story is available in collections of

Twain’s works, including Mark Twain:

Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, &

Essays, 1852–1890, edited by Louis J.

Budd (pages 412-417).

In the Buffalo Express for April 12,

1870, Twain announced his intention to

edit a monthly “department” in the

Galaxy. He described this

announcement in “A Couple of Sad

Experiences,” which was published in

the June 1870 issue of Galaxy

(reprinted in Budd, ed., pages 388-

395). The announcement, called a

“squib,” was done as a burlesque that

backfired on Twain. Giving broad hints

that he was joking, the squib claimed

that the column would be an

“Agricultural Department.” These hints

included references to “launching a

triumphal barge upon a desert, and

planting a tree of prosperity in a mine.”

To show that he was not serious about

attempting an agricultural column, he

admitted in a postcript that he knows

nothing about agriculture. This

admission was his biggest mistake, for

it “seems to have recommended my

proposed Agriculture more than

anything else.” He was deluged with

queries from farmers who perhaps were

hasty readers or were bored by “the

oracular profundity” of know-it-all

agricultural editors. The farmers wanted

to know “about potatoes, and cabbages,

and hominy, and vermicelli, and

macaroni, and all the other fruits,

cereals, and vegetables that ever grew

on earth.” Thus, Twain was taken

seriously even though he had made his

burlesque “so broad and so perfectly

palpable that even a one-eyed potato

could see it.”

At the end of “A Couple of Sad

Experiences,” Twain announces that he

does not intend to answer the farmers’

questions, noting that earlier in his

career he would have attempted to do

so. He then refers the reader to “the

narrative of my one week’s experience

as an agricultural editor” to be

published in the next issue of Galaxy

(the one for July 1870).

The last word in the title of the story

“How I Edited an Agricultural Paper

Once” is significant. The narrator was

hired to replace the vacationing regular

editor, who was forced to cut his

vacation short because the narrator

made a curiosity of himself and of the

paper by publishing ridiculously

inaccurate statements about agriculture

in the only issue of the paper he was

allowed to edit.

 These statements include the

observation that turnips grow on trees.

When an old man notes that this

statement is in error, the narrator claims

that the statement was figurative and

that he knew all along that turnips grow

on vines.

In his “editorials,” the narrator

assumes that guano is a bird, that

ganders spawn, that the words “furrow”

and “harrow” refer to the same thing,

that there is a moulting season for cows,

that clams can be quieted by music (as

if they need to be quieted), that

buckwheat cakes are planted, that

cornstalks should be set out in July this

year, and that oyster beds are properly

discussed under the heading

“Landscape Gardening.”

He observes that a pumpkin is a

berry that provides better food for cows

than a raspberry, that it is an “esculent

of the orange family,” and that it is a

failure as a shade tree.

When the regular editor returns early

from his holiday, he fires the narrator,

who claims that knowledge is not

needed in the newspaper business, that

“the less a man knows the bigger noise

he makes and the higher the salary he

commands.” After calling the regular

editor various names, including

“cornstalk,” “cabbage,” and “son of a

cauliflower,” and after implying that

peaches grow on vines, the narrator

gives his parting shot: “You are the

loser by this rupture, not me, Pie-plant.

Adios.” 

Twain adds that the wind is

responsible for the large number of bald

people in Carson City, noting that it

“blows the hair off their heads while

they are looking skyward after their

hats.”