SUGGESTIONS AS TO EXPRESSION 

UNITY, COHERENCE, AND EMPHASIS 

A scientific report is an exposition of facts, inferences, conclusions, and, often, arguments and criticisms. The report should be clear enough that the 

reader cannot mistake its meaning, simple enough to 

be easily understood by the intended readership, and 

concise enough to avoid padding and needless repetition. Good exposition has unity, coherence, and emphasis. Unity comes from oneness and completeness 

in thought: A sentence may be simple, compound, or 

complex, but every word, phrase, or clause should 

help develop that one thought. Coherence means that 

words are understandably put together. Emphasis 

relates to proper stress. 

Unity asks that you as a writer of scientific reports 

direct every sentence, paragraph, and chapter toward 

the stated subject of your report. Avoid paragraphs 

that are mere collections of sentences; ideally, each 

paragraph should have one central thought, and each 

sentence should lead toward that thought. Topic sentences are valuable aids to unity, both for the reader 

and for the writer. Topic sentences inform the reader 

that a new thought follows, and they help the writer 

adhere to that single thought. Besides using topic 

sentences, you can heighten interest and enhance 

comprehension without sacrificing unity by skillfully 

introducing variety into sentence length and phrasing. 

Coherence requires that all parts of your report be 

logically arranged: Words, phrases, and clauses should 

lead the reader forward through sentences into paragraphs and through paragraphs into logical groupings 

under suitable topic headings and chapters. You can 

also gain coherence by ending statements with transitional words, phrases, or sentences that summarize 

what has been said and point toward what is to come. 

You can relate sentences or paragraphs to one another by repeating significant words or phrases used 

before. If a discussion is long, a brief transition 

paragraph will help you maintain coherence. 

Emphasis can be gained through literary devices 

such as changes in voice, variety in sentence length 

and structure, and careful choice of words. Make the 

beginning and ending of a paragraph not so long or 

so complicated as to lose unity or so short as to lose 

coherence. 

Because many excellent books on grammar are 

available in libraries and book stores, STA focuses 

mainly on grammatical problems that commonly have 

appeared in Survey manuscripts. Some problems 

recur over and over. Careful attention to grammar 

saves the time of authors, reviewers, and editors 

alike, but careless attention to the basic principles of 

grammar takes time from everyone. 

Two types of problems are common in structuring 

complete sentences: (1) Ending too soon-a sentence 

fragment-before a complete thought has been conveyed and (2) ending too late-a run-on sentenceafter more than one idea has been expressed without 

the appropriate connectives of grammar and 

punctuation. 

Sentence Fragments 

A complete sentence must have at least one independent clause-that is, a group of words that contains a subject and a verb, stands by itself, and makes 

sense. "The sandstone is interbedded with shale" is 

an independent clause; ended wjth a period, it also is 

a sentence. If a word such as "although" is added at 

the beginning, the sentence is no longer independent: 

"Although the sandstone is interbedded with shale" is 

a sentence fragment that needs further qualification: 

"Although the sandstone is interbedded with shale, 

the shale is only a minor constituent of the formation." The "although" clause has become dependent; 

its meaning is incomplete until it is followed by a 

second, independent clause. Sentence fragments 

usually result from the addition of a qualifying word 

or words at the beginning of the clause; for example, 

"in which," "when," "to" plus a verb, or "if." Few 

Survey authors, of course, would compose a sentence 

fragment, but such fragments often appear inadvertently in manuscript revisions. To recognize one, ask 

yourself if the sentence element contains a subject, a 

verb, and a thought that can stand alone. If not, you 

have a sentence fragment. 

Suggestions as to expression 
Run-On Sentences 

At the opposite extreme from sentence fragments, 

and more common, are run-on sentences. These take 

two forms, comma splices and fused sentences. In the 

comma splice, two independent clauses are joined by a 

comma: "Another interesting study was by Stephanic 

(1981), his primary objective was to compare the geochemistry of the two types of deposits." Two independent clauses cannot be joined by a mere comma. 

A coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, for, nor, 

so, yet, still) must be added immediately after the 

comma, or the comma must be replaced by a sernicolon or by a period and a capital letter. The cornmasplice sentence in the preceding example becomes a 

fused run-on sentence simply by omitting the comma 

and running the ideas together. Correct the error by 

inserting a coordinating conjunction to compound the 

sentence, or replace the pronoun "his" by "whose" to 

make the second clause dependent on the first. 

In grammar, agreement involves singular or plural 

forms of two or more words that function together. 

Lack of agreement comes in two forms: (1) noun subjects that disagree with their verbs and (2) pronouns 

that disagree with their antecedents. Both forms 

diminish the quality of the writing. 

SubjectNerb Disagreements 

Subjectlverb disagreements flourish in complicated 

sentences. Few people would write "Mechanical problems appears to be a major reason for the poor data," 

because the singular verb "appears" next to the 

plural subject "problems" does violence to the ear. 

Intervening phrases between subject and verb, however, can trick the ear by placing distance between 

the two sentence elements. Thus, one author wrote, 

"Mechanical problems with the inclinometer appears 

to be a major reason for the poor data." The prepositional phrase, "with the inclinometer," and the singular form of the word "inclinometer" tricked the 

author into composing the disagreement. 

A second type of subject-verb disagreement involves 

compound singular subjects-the so-called 1 + 1 agreement problem. "The composition of each sample was 

examined carefully" would nearly always be written 

correctly, but if a second singular subject is added, 

the likelihood of error increases greatly, even for 

experienced writers: "The composition and texture of 

each sample was [were] examined carefully." Because 

each noun is singular, the writer took them to be one 

subject and was misled into using a singular verb. 

Remembering that 1 + 1 = 2 may reinforce your perception of the need for a plural verb. 

PluralISingular Verbs and SingularIPlural Predicate Nouns 

This awkward problem of verblnoun agreement 

generally involves "is" or "are" as the principal verb, 

but it is easily remedied by (1) subordinating "is" or 

"are" to another verb, (2) substituting a stronger 

verb, or (3) changing the number (singular or plural) 

of one of the elements. 

Delete words in italic; add those in brackets: 

This matrix is [made up] chiefly [of] microphenocrysts of plagioclase and hornblende. ("Consists" would be better than "is 

made up.") 

Eolian strata of the Weber are [compose] the chief petroleum 

reservoir. 

The red beds of the Catskill Formation are a North American 

counterparys] of the Old Red Sandstone. 

In some populated areas the uraniferous waters or the deposits 

themselves may be [present] a significant natural environmental 

hazard. (Or, delete "a" and pluralize "hazard" to make the 

verb and noun agree.) 

The Wasatch Mountains are a narrow upfaulted range. 

(Rewrite as, "The Wasatch Mountains are narrow and upfaulted," or substitute a transitive verb: "The Wasatch Mountains form a narrow, upfaulted range.") 

Do mu WmT 'PHIS 

TYPED UP 3UST 7%iE 

You SAID rt, OR 

SmLL Z CHOP UP 

INTO SENTENCES ? • 

fih'4~5 2-23 

Q 1980 Newspaper Enterprise Association, I~c. 

Lack of agreement between sentence elements 125 
The Dillon Mesa Tuff is crystal-poor rhyolite containing finegrained phenocrysts that locally underlie the outflow Sapinero 

Mesa Tuff. (The "that" clause wrongly modifies "phenocrysts." 

Rewrite as "The Dillon Mesa Tuff, a crystal-poor rhyolite containing fine-grained phenocrysts, locally underlies the outflow 

Sapinero Mesa Tuff.") 

Much of its extent is defined by a zone of faults and a wellmarked fault scarp, which has been described in detail by 

Gilbert. (Inasmuch as both "zone of faults" and "well-defined 

fault scarp" are objects of the first preposition "by," the reader 

naturally connects the "which" clause to both of them. Just 

delete "which has been" and the preceding comma to clear up 

the difficulty .) 

Pronoun Disagreements 

Pronouns are words that substitute for nouns; antecedents are those nouns. Pronouns that disagree with 

their antecedents appear in many manuscripts. The 

following sentence illustrates the problem: "Largescale pyroclastic eruptions began about 49 m.y. ago; 

this included the activity that is represented by ashflow tuffs at Surrey Ridge and in Long Valley." 

"Eruptions" is the antecedent of the pronoun "this." 

Because "eruptions" is plural, its substitute pronoun 

must be the plural form "these." Even the pronoun 

"these," used by itself as above, has a vague connotation; a clearer, more forceful phrasing would repeat 

"eruptions" in the clause "these eruptions 

included * * *." 

Problems With Collectives and Their Verbs 

Certain nouns and pronouns called "collectives" 

may take either singular or plural verbs as predicates, 

depending on the meaning being conveyed. If the 

noun or pronoun is viewed collectively as a unit, its 

verb should be singular; if viewed as separate items, 

the verb should be plural. The following sentences 

are correct: 

The number of men employed was greater in 1985. 

A large number of the men were injured. ("Many men * * *P9 would be better.) 

He thinks that 30 cents is a high price. 

Three dimes were placed on the table. 

About 3,000 tons was produced in 1934. ("About 3,000 tons" 

means a quantity weighing, in all, about 3,000 tons; it does not 

mean about 3,000 neat parcels each containing exactly a ton.) 

At this place, 9 meters of sandstone is exposed. 

A series of studies was begun. (Emphasis on "series.": 

The United States protects its natural resources. (Although the 

term "United States" is treated as a plural in the Constitution, 

it is generally used elsewhere in the singular.) 

"None" is singular when it means "no one," "no 

person," or "nobody." It is plural when it means "no 

persons" or "no things." "No one" may be substituted for "none" in some sentences to express the 

singular. 

None of the mines were open. 

None of the ore contains gold. 

None were injured. 

No one was injured. (Emphatic: Not one was injured.) 

"Each" and "every" are usually singular in usage. 

Each man will stand his post. 

Every species is represented. 

The term "indefinite antecedent" refers to a phrasing in which the antecedent of the pronoun is ambiguous. In some such sentences the pronoun may vaguely 

represent two or more different nouns: "Bill's father 

left home when he was 6 years old." Consider the 

following example: "Close to the faults, however, the 

folds are tighter, the fold limbs are steeply dipping, 

and they display bedding-plane schistosity." Whether 

"they" refers to "folds" or "fold limbs" is unclear to 

anyone but the author, and even if an analysis of the 

context could clanfy the meaning, the reader's train 

of thought has already been derailed. Change to, 

"Close to the faults, however, the folds are tighter, 

they display bedding-plane schistosity, and their limbs 

dip steeply." (See p. 165 regarding the use of the 

verb "display.") 

Your familiarity as author with the subject matter 

makes the indefinite antecedent an easy pitfall. One 

of the commonest misused pronouns is the word 

"this," and its ambiguity in writing stems from 

author familiarity: "Low-grade regional metamorphism, folding, and thrust faulting affected the preTertiary rocks during Jurassic and Cretaceous time. 

This ended with regional intrusion of granodioritic 

stocks and batholiths in the eastern part of the study 

area. To the north, this resulted in northeast-trending 

folds." The antecedent of "this" in these sentences is 

unclear. Although the sequence of events may have 

been clear to the author, the unsuspecting reader 

must try to puzzle out what the author meant; most 

126 Pronoun disaereements 
readers will just shrug and move on. Whenever the 

word "this" appears in a manuscript, ask yourself, 

"This what?" If the answer is unclear, you as author 

or reviewer should add the appropriate noun, or 

recast the sentence. 

"Some" is another word to watch. If "some" is intended as a pronoun but has no clear antecedent, the 

reader may take it to be an adjective modifying the 

word that follows, and the result can be ambiguous. 

Since no one wants a high-level nuclear waste dump, some 

doubt that a compromise can be reached. 

The above statement can be read as a sentence 

fragment, with "some" serving as an adjective 

modifying "doubt." To clear up the ambiguity, the 

writer should subordinate "some" to a noun such as 

"people." Then the sentence would make sense: C6* * * some people doubt that * * * . " (Also, 

"Because" would be a better starter word than 

"Since.") 

Sentences should be written with an eye to the best 

placement of modifying words and phrases. The subject, predicate, and object shape the framework of the 

sentence; the modifiers-adjectives, adverbs, participles, and descriptive phrases and clauses-add detail 

and meaning. In using modifiers, carefully choose the 

best words available to express your meanings and 

carefully put them in the most appropriate places. For 

clarity, put them as close as possible to the words 

they modify, and remember that the most emphatic 

positions in a sentence are at the beginning and end. 

In the following sentence, the modifying phrases 

are right after the nouns they moddy: "Removal of 

salt by extrusion, solution, or lateral flowage partly 

destroyed these folds, either by causing collapse along 

faults or by causing general subsidence." Note that 

the emphasis is at the beginning on "removal of salt." 

The phrase "by extrusion, solution, or lateral flowage" has a position of lesser importance. Placing 

"general subsidence" at the end gives it emphasis 

also. 

Writers are often exhorted to use "exact" words 

to express their meanings, but few words really have 

"exact" meanings. Even some of the commonest 

words need a full column of 6-point type just to 

explain their dictionary definitions; to have exact 

meanings, words must be used skillfully in relation to 

one another. To choose appropriate modifying words 

and phrases, you need access to a good dictionary, to 

relevant glossaries and lexicons, and to any of the 

many good word-use books available in the library or 

marketplace. 

Misplaced Modifiers 

Misplaced modifiers sometimes provide unintended 

comic relief. A newspaper caption explained that a 

nanny-in-training was "feeding and diapering a baby 

with educational toys." A list of unusual explanations 

given to a life insurance company by accident claimants included "I had been driving my car for 40 years 

when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident," 

and "I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end 

trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me 

to have an accident." Laugh, but do not cast the first 

stone. Geoscience writing, of course, hardly ever contains misplaced phrases, but when it does, the result 

is more often pathetic than laughable: "The samples 

were preserved for analysis in a paraffin-sealed 

flask." "Remnants correlated with this pediment are 

plentiful in the southern part of the San Juan Basin, 

according to Parker, lying 90-120 m below the Scottsville erosion surface and 30-60 m above modern 

drainage." "The howling of coyotes is often heard by 

field personnel, as these animals frequently stray into 

the area." "Because of its huge size, oceanographic 

information is inadequate in many places." 

Errors of modification are common in everyday oral 

and written language. Ask yourself if phrases are 

really next to what you intend them to modify and if 

they do in fact modify the appropriate subject. Pay 

particular attention to beginnings and endings of 

sentences, where misplaced (and dangling) modifiers 

are most likely to be. The proper placement of 

phrases within the context of a sentence must be a 

conscious decision. Modifiers belong next to the words 

they moddy. Consider the following sentence: 

Misplaced modifier. Example 1: 

We also present a plausible model for the origin of the ore 

deposits at the Sun Valley mine, Pitkin County, Colo., which 

until now has lacked a satisfactory explanation. 

Because the phrase beginning with "which" is placed 

immediately after "Colorado," this sentence must be 

taken to say that either the Sun Valley mine, or 

Colorado, lacked a satisfactory explanation until now. 

"Which" clauses are often appended to sentences as 

added inspiration when the creative juices are flowing, but they sometimes end up in the wrong place. 

me intended meaning could be clarified in several 

ways. Two possibilities follow: 

Suggested alternative 1: We also present the first plausible 

model for the origin of the ore deposits at the Sun Valley mine, 

Pitkin County, Colo. 

Misplaced modifiers 127 
Suggested alternative 2: We also present a plausible model for 

the origin of the ore deposits at the Sun Valley mine, Pitkin 

County, Colo. No one had previously studied the origin of the 

deposits. 

Notice that in the second alternative we gained additional information, with little increase in length over 

the original version. 

Misplaced modifier. Example 2: 

Because they are highly sensitive to changes of temperature 

and salinity, paleontologists use them as indicators of the environment that was present when they died. 

Recast the above sentence yourself to straighten out 

the antecedents and put the paleontologists in their 

proper place. Then, try this one from "The New 

Yorker": "At the Battle of Antietam a careless Confederate officer used a piece of paper containing 

General Lee's orders to wrap his cigars." 

Dangling Modifiers 

Dangling modifiers differ from misplaced modifiers, 

not in their placement in the sentence but in having 

no antecedent to modify. They have no real grammatical relationship to the sentence, despite the intentions of their authors. Two examples illustrate the 

problem: 

Dangling modifier. Example 1: 

By comparing the fence diagram with the resistivity log profiles 

in figure 5, it is evident that injected freshwater is most efficiently transmitted through the highly permeable zones. 

If you write an "-ing" phrase like this one, ask yourself who is doing the comparing. According to the 

phrasing in example 1, "it" is making the comparison, 

but "it" (an indefinite pronoun) is incapable of comparison, so the initial phrase dangles. This sentence 

can be revised either to eliminate the need for a subject of the modifying phrase or to add the appropriate 

subject. 

Suggested alternative 1: A comparison of the fence diagram 

with the resistivity log profiles in figure 5 shows that injected 

freshwater is transmitted most efficiently through the highly 

permeable zones. 

Suggested alternative 2: By comparing the fence diagram 

with the resistivity log profiles in figure 5, we learned that 

injected freshwater is transmitted most efficiently through the 

highly permeable zones. 

Dangling modifier. Example 2: 

As a field investigator working in the Desert Southwest, your 

paraphernalia should include two pairs of stout leather boots. 

("As a field investigator" is an unintended modifier of 

the subject, "paraphernalia. ") 

Suggested alternative: As a field investigator working in the 

Desert Southwest, you should include two pairs of stout leather 

boots in your paraphernalia. 

Here is a parallel to example 2: "As a first impression, the Sparks fault appears to have moved more 

than once." And one more: "As a baboon who grew 

up wild in the jungle, I realized that Wiki has special 

nutritional needs." 

Even careful writers are sometimes trapped by 

dangling modifiers, especially by participles. A few 

more examples and their remedies may be helpful; 

correct the errors by inserting the missing words 

modified or by restructuring the sentences. Delete 

the words in italic; add those in brackets. 

On closer inspection, chattermarks were observed. (Write, 

"Closer inspection showed chattermarks.") 

Going seaward the boulders became smaller. (Just delete 

"Going" and change "became" to "were." 

The [roughly tabular] western part of the ore body has a 

roughly tabular shape dipping [dips] southeast. 

Jw!gngfrom the dip of the tuff [indicates that] a small hill has 

been buried here. 

None of the old openings are accessible, but judgingfiom 

material on the dumps [indicates that] the ore was massive 

magnetite. 

Going downward the till becms [is] less oxidized [at depth]. 

Crossing to the other side, the peak came into full view. (The 

peak didn't cross to the other side, the viewer did. Try, "From 

the other side, the peak is in full view.") 

And one from a morning paper: 

On his way home, Bill was mugged, robbed, and left for dead. 

Going to work the next morning, he was found by a lady lying 

in a snowbank. 

Other Misplaced Words and Phrases 

Try to keep related words and phrases together. 

Watch out for misplaced adverbs and adverbial 

phrases, especially "only," "principally," "mainly," 

"chiefly," "alone," "also," and "too." In the following sentences, delete the words in italic and add the 

words in brackets: 

Their presence can only be determined [only] by tests. 

The sediments were [derived] principally derived from quartzite. 

(Sentence is strengthened by not splitting the verb.) 

128 Dangling modifiers 
In the following statement it is not clear which part 

of the sentence "when the time came" modifies: 

I told him when the time came I would do it. (Write, "When 

the time came, I told him I would do it," or "I told him I would 

do it when the time came," according to the meaning intended.) 

The sentence, "They suspended operations as the 

weather became colder and moved south," says that 

the weather moved south. Write, "As the weather 

became colder, they suspended operations and moved 

south," or "they suspended operations and moved 

south as the weather became colder." 

Prepositional phrases also may be misplaced, as in 

the following examples: 

Under such conditions it is easy to see that the commercial 

development of these deposits [under such conditions] * * *. 

In Indiana writers have classified the rocks [in Indiana] as 

Utica or Eden. 

On level 2 it is reported that considerable realgar and orpiment 

were found [on level 21. 

Fossils [from Indiana] were described from Indiana. 

From the ice water overloaded with glacial debris discharged 

westward [from the ice]. (Inserting a comma after "ice" is not 

a good remedy for poor construction.) 

Adjectival expressions are misplaced occasionally or 

are misused for adverbs as well as misplaced. 

A careful sample of this rock was [carefully sampled] taken for 

chemical analysis. 

The granite was intruded during the great period of [great] 

structural deformation. 

Leaves [little] room for little doubt. 

The luxuriant gray green of the [luxuriant] sagebrush. 

Tilted edges of [tilted] sandstone strata. 

The most prevalent region of [most prevalent] cloudbursts. 

A [dark] coarsely porphyritic rock of dark granular texture. (It 

is the rock, not the texture, that is dark.) 

Two altered thin vitreous tuff beds. (Change to read "two thin 

beds of altered vitreous tuff.") 

The sentence "There is a band of coarsely crystalline limestone carrying bunches of garnet-pyrite rock 

from place to place" presents an absurd picture. 

Better write, "A layer of coarsely crystalline limestone contains sporadic [or scattered] bunches of 

garnet-pyrite rock." Note that "layer" replaces 

"band," which refers simply to the visible edge 

of a layer. 

The statement "Care should be taken to see 

whether such wells are contaminated by frequent 

analysis" slanders the analyst. Change to, "Analyze 

the water frequently to see if such wells are contaminated." 

In general a phrase that applies equally to two or 

more items should follow the first item, not the last. 

Don't keep the reader in suspense: 

* mountainous in the western part [of the quadrangle] and 

level in the eastern part of the quadrangle. 

The thickness ranges from 215 meters at the east side [of the 

area] to perhaps 500 meters at the west side of the area. 

The upper coal bed is as thick [as the lower bed], if not thicker 

than the lower. 

Dangling Non Sequiturs 

Dangling non sequiturs are phrases out of context 

but meant to be modifiers; most of them are participles. They have no logical relationship to what 

they are attached: 

Formerly mined in southern Greenland, cryolite occurs in 

limited quantity near Pikes Peak, El Paso County, Colorado. 

Much of it is perfectly transparent, the oval grains being a half 

a centimeter in diameter. 

Douglas-fir grows between altitudes of 2,000-2,400 meters, the 

individuals averaging 40-50 centimeters in diameter. 

Born in Schenectady, she graduated with honors from Boston 

University. 

The discharge of the spring is about 8 gallons a minute, it. 

temperature being 90°F. 

Home of the Air Force Academy, Colorado Springs received 

17 centimeters of rain in less than 5 hours. 

Troublesome Participles 

In many sentences a participle can be replaced by a 

restrictive relative clause to gain emphasis. Delete 

words in italic: 

A gravel-floored plain sloping [that slopes] gently toward the 

southeast * * *. 

All thick coal beds cropping out [that crop out] in this 

field * * *. 

Other improvements involving .participles are 

indicated as follows. Delete words in italic: 

They are therefore regarded as being of the same geologic age. 

The basal formation of the group here occurs resting [rests] 

upon the Tejon Formation. 

Troublesome participles 129 
These dikes were found cutting [cut both] the granitic rocks and 

were noted cutting the aplite dikes. 

Remnants of quartzite occur perchd along [cap] the crest of the 

ridge. 

The cliff rises facing [faces] the river. 

Clauses within sentences are normally joined by 

conjunctions or by various forms of punctuation. Independent clauses are joined by coordinating conjunctions (and, but, for, or), which are words that connect 

equal or coordinate elements. A dependent clause 

linked to an independent clause should be joined by a 

subordinating conjunction (such as am, although, 

because, unless, when, and whereas). A clause that 

amplifies or restricts the meaning of another clause 

should be introduced by an adverbial conjunction (for 

example, consequently, however, nevertheless, therefore, and thus). Selecting the appropriate conjunction 

depends on the intended meaning. A coordinating conjunction should be used only between clauses of equal 

importance; if one clause is more important, the other 

should be introduced by a subordinating conjunction. 

If two clauses contain equally important information 

but are not simple equivalents, one of the clauses 

should begin with an adverbial conjunction. The 

following examples should help clarify these 

distinctions: 

Faulty coordination: The formation exhibits characteristics 

suggestive of a fluvial environment, and it is red. 

The color of the formation in this example is not 

coordinate with the depositional environment. Eliminate the second clause by incorporating the information into the first clause or by changing the second 

clause into a parenthetical phrase. (Also, the verb 

"exhibits" is a bit overblown for characteristics that 

merely suggest.) 

Suggested alternative: The formation, which is red, has 

characteristics that suggest fluvial deposition. 

The revised sentence contains the same information, 

but its emphasis is stronger. 

Misused conjunctions may confuse the intention of 

the sentence. In the next example, the idea that the 

two clauses present equivalent pieces of information 

is incorrect: 

Faulty coordination: Zircon is the only original rock constituent that remains stable throughout the cycle of alunite 

alteration, and biotite and Fe-oxide minerals are pseudomorphed by TiO,. 

These two clauses present noncoordinate ideas; the 

implied contrast between the two pieces of information would be expressed better by substituting the 

adverbial conjunction "whereas" for "and" or by just 

dropping the "and" and starting a new sentence with 

"biotite." 

If a sentence attempts to compare two incomparable things, the resulting grammatical problem is 

called an incomplete comparison. The problem is common because the true nature of the comparison seems 

obvious to the writer. Consider the following sentence: 

Faulty comparison: The producing wells in this part of the 

basin are similar to the Williston Basin. 

The writer's intention of comparing wells in one 

basin with wells in another basin has been ineptly 

compressed. 

Suggested alternative: Producing wells in this part of the 

basin are similar to those (or * * are similar to wells * * 

in the Williston Basin. 

Incomplete comparisons are also illustrated by the 

following sentences: "The average dip of the Lyons 

Sandstone is less than the Pierre Shale." (One dip can 

be compared with another, but not with a formation.) 

"No density measurements were made of the south 

slide; however, prefailure density should have been 

about the same as the north slide." (Density cannot 

be compared to a landslide.) In making any comparison, be sure that the structure of the sentence 

leads to a comparison of like things. 

PROBLEMS WITH POORLY CHOSEN ADVERBS, 

PREPOSITIONS, AND ~NF~N~T~VES 

Adverbs 

An adverb is a word that modifies a verb, an adjective, or another adverb. Many of them end with "ly" 

(nearly, hardly, largely, poorly, usually). Adverbs are 

easily misused, particularly the common adverb 

"where." "Where" should relate to the idea of place, 

but it is often used incorrectly for "when." Some 

writers use "where" for "on which," "in which," 

or "for which." 

Faulty choice of "where": Where a number of ponds in a 

landslide seem to have been formed at about the same time, 

such a date might represent a time of significant slide 

movement. 

Here the word "where" was inaccurately intended to 

connote time; change it to "when." 

130 Uncoordinated sentence elements 
Suggested alternative: When several ponds on a landslide 

apparently formed at about the same time, the date of their 

formation might have been a time of significant slide movement. (Better yet, change "when" to "if.") 

Prepositions 

Prepositions, like adverbs, make for fuzzy writing if 

used carelessly. Commonly confused prepositions include "with," "of," "for," "from," and "in." "With," 

misused as a conjunction, troubles many writers who 

have little difficulty with most other prepositions. In 

the following example "with" inaccurately connects 

"environment" to "movements": 

Deposition of the upper San Rafael Group in northwest New 

Mexico took place in a quiescent environment with only broad 

regional movements. 

Possible alternative: Deposition of the upper San Rafael 

Group in northwest New Mexico took place in a quiescent 

environment during a time of broad regional movements. 

For a better rewrite, get rid of "deposition", "took 

place," "a time," and the prepositions "of' and "in." 

Recast as follows: 

The upper San Rafael Group accumulated quietly in northwest 

New Mexico during broad regional movements. 

"With" is also often taken to mean "and" or "but" 

plus "having" or "using." In the following sentence, 

"with" wrongly takes the place of the conjunction 

"and": 

The faults have been indurated and tilted, with some slight 

folding. Change to: The rocks have been indurated, tilted, and 

slightly folded. 

In the following sentence, "with" is used improperly to quallfy the water's clarity: "The water is very 

clear with a faint bluish tinge.'' Change to: "The 

water is very clear but has a faint bluish tinge." 

("But has" suggests a limitation on clarity not 

conveyed by "with.") 

"With" may also trick you into wordiness and 

faulty logic: 

The top of the mountain is flat with a smooth descent to the 

west. (The top cannot descend.) Change to: The flat-topped 

mountain slopes smoothly west. 

Further indiscretions with "with": 

Change this To this 

The mechanic advised the The mechanic advised the 

man with the broken cylinder man to report the broken 

head to report it to the com- cylinder head to the company's regional office. pany's regional office. 

Change this To this 

The surface of the bedrock is The surface of the bedrock is 

fairly even with depressions fairly even but contains 

representing temporary chan- depressions * * *. 

nels of the shifting creek. 

A fine-grained rock with A fine-grained rock blotched 

blotches of bright pink color with bright pink * * *. * * * 

The conglomerate pebbles are The conglomerate pebbles are 

well rounded with a very well rounded and loosely 

loose cement. cemented. 

He discusses the geology of He discusses the geology of 

the county with descriptions the county and of 19 mining 

of 19 mining districts. districts within it. 

You should be aware that "without" may be as 

misused as "with." If you find "with" or "without" 

in your writing, doublecheck to make sure you should 

not be using a conjunction instead. 

Prepositions Doubled Up 

The use of a preposition following a verb to express 

an idea that can be conveyed by some other verb 

alone may lead to the undesirable doubling of prepositions. Examples of undesirable doubling and tripling 

of prepositions follow: 

The conditions met with [observed, confronted] in the field * * * 

A large production is not to be looked for [expected] from these 

deposits. 

A thickness of from 1 to 2 meters * * *. 

An estimate of the cost of operation of [operating] the filter 

* * *. (In most such phrases, a noun ending in "tion," and the 

"of" following it, should be replaced by a gerund as in the 

preceding example.) 

Following the discovery of the character of this deposit * * *. 

(Write, "After the character of this deposit was discovered * * * 9,) 

Each of the veins has been drifted on for from 15 to 20 meters. 

(Write, "Drifts have been run 15 to 20 meters along each 

vein.") 

Infinitives 

Writers trying to express ideas succinctly occasionally misuse infinitives ("to" plus a verb): "A 

Grand Junction man was killed this morning to raise 

the traffic toll for the year to 273." Newspaper journalists face the intense pressure of daily deadlines, 

but Survey writers lack such excuses: 

He hiked all day only to learn that he was on the wrong ridge. 

(Write, "He hiked all day before learning that * * *.") 

lnfinitives 131 
An eruption of Mount St. Helens occurred this morning to 

blanket dl of [blanketed] the northwestern United States with 

ash. (Note that "occurred" and "all of' in the previous 

sentence are superfluous.) 

And a heading dredged up by Robert L. Bates of 

"Geotimes": 

Portrait of First President to Hang at Association 

Headquarters. 

Try to imagine a written communication without 

punctuation. Punctuation clarifies communication by 

conveying to the reader the stops and stress points 

intended by the writer. A good writer uses punctuation for the same purpose that a good speaker uses 

gestures, facial expressions, voice tone, and inflections. Points of law have been decided on the placement of a comma. 

Frank C. Calkins, a long-time Survey geologist who 

had a penchant for improving the writing of others, 

once expressed the relationship of punctuation to 

cadence as the musiclike quality that gives writing 

balance and flow. The cadence a musician creates 

through the use of eighth, quarter, half, and whole 

rests is analogous to a writer's artful use of commas, 

semicolons, colons, periods, dashes, and parentheses. 

The cadence of the sentence controls accent and 

timing, which together influence the reader's understanding. Effective punctuation clarifies writing; 

ineffective punctuation clouds it. 

Punctuation is purely functional; it clarifies writing 

by (1) grouping related words, (2) separating unrelated words, (3) enclosing parenthetical words, and 

(4) emphasizing important words. The Survey's attitude toward punctuation is based on the principle that 

if punctuation does not clanfy the text it should be 

omitted and that the sole aim of punctuation marks 

should be to clarify the author's thoughts (U.S. GPO 

Style Manual, 1984, p. 117). If a sentence cannot be 

so punctuated as to make the author's thoughts clear, 

the sentence probably needs to be rephrased. 

Commas mark brief pauses in the flow of ideas, like 

quarter rests in music. Needless commas break the 

flow and rhythm of the sentence, but commas missing 

where needed cause ambiguity or misunderstanding. 

Some guidelines: 

1. After any introductory phrase or clause, a comma is needed if its absence forces the reader to 

back up and reread the sentence to understand 

the intended meaning: 

Change this To this 

During periods of intense During periods of intense 

rain water from the claypit rain, water from the claypit 

flows through this ranch. flows through this ranch. 

Where data are inaccurate Where data are inaccurate 

or insufficient results or insufficient, results 

deviate from what is deviate from what is 

expected. expected. 

After cooling the sample is After cooling, the sample is 

reweighed and ground to 80 reweighed and ground to 80 

mesh. mesh. 

2. An introductory participial phrase should be set 

off by a comma: 

Spreading toward natural and manmade depressions, the 

sediments settled in stream valleys, drainage ditches, borrow pits, and lakes. 

Deflected by natural obstructions, the lava stream turned 

eastward. 

3. Commas are required between the parallel 

words, phrases, or clauses of a series: 

The deposit consists of clay, sand, and gravel. 

The upper coal is 53 cm thick, the parting 30 cm, and the 

lower coal 46 cm. 

Some writers mistakenly assume that the comma before the final "and" is unneeded because 

the "and" signals the end of the series, but this 

notion can cause trouble, especially in technical 

writing, as follows: 

The complex consists of three conformable, well-layered 

units of gabbro, diorite and granodiorite and granophyre. 

Without another comma this sentence lacks 

clarity. The units could be (1) gabbro, (2) diorite, 

and (3) granodiorite and granophyre, or they 

could be (1) gabbro, (2) diorite and granodiorite, 

and (3) granophyre. A comma placed before the 

proper "and" removes the ambiguity. 

If members of a series contain commas, a 

semicolon between the members may be needed 

for clarity: 

The order of deposition was quartz and pyrite; massive 

galena, sphalerite, and pyrite; brown carbonates and 

quartz; and small amounts of all those named, together 

with fluorite, barite, calcite, and kaolin. 

4. Commas are needed between two or more adjectives of equal rank (parallel, or coordinate, 

adjectives) that precede the word(@ modified. (If 

"and" can be inserted between the adjectives or 

132 Effective punctuation 
if their order can be reversed with no change in 

meaning, the adjectives are parallel and should 

be separated by a comma.) 

Parallel 

hard, impermeable subsoil 

a brief, interesting account 

short, swift streams 

long, tedious spell of dry 

weather 

freezing, driving rains 

perceptible, strong ground 

motion 

silty, clayey sand 

Nonparallel 

hard clay subsoil 

a brief typewritten account 

short tributary streams 

long dry spell 

heavy spring rains 

strong lateral ground motion 

yellowish-gray clayey sand 

5. Parenthetical words, phrases, and clauses are 

usually set off by commas. 

Parentheses or dashes may be used to indicate 

stronger, longer, or more abrupt breaks in 

thought. Parentheses within parentheses should 

be avoided. 

Identical punctuation marks are needed on 

both sides of the parenthetical expression, unless 

the expression is at the end of the sentence: two 

commas, for instance, or two dashes-not a 

single comma or a comma and a dash. 

Change this To this 

Several individual flows, Several individual flows, 

each thicker than 25 meters each thicker than 25 meters, 

have been traced for more have been traced for more 

than 160 kilometers. than 160 kilometers. 

The President, in his energy The President, in his energy 

message to the Congress message to the Congress, 

recommended that this pro- recommended that this program go forward. gram go forward. 

Expressions introduced by "together with," 

"as well as," and "in addition to" are parenthetical and should be set off by commas. 

Commas are needed between more than two 

items of run-in numbered or lettered series: 

Damage resulted from (1) vibration, (2) ground cracking, 

(3) subsidence, and (4) sea waves. 

6. The independent clauses of a compound sentence 

may or may not need separation by commas, or 

semicolons, depending on their length and 

complexity: 

Without: Where the drainage went is problematical but 

it almost certainly turned west. 

With: A south-flowing course toward the White River 

looks plausible on a planimetric map, but geomorphic 

evidence is against it. 

But: The coordinate conjunctions "for" and 

"as" need a preceding comma to avoid being 

read as prepositions. If "because" is used instead 

of "for" or "as," the comma may not be needed. 

Change this To this 

The arching of the deck The arching of the deck 

probably pulled the piling probably pulled the piling 

upward for the connec- upward, for the connections between the string- tions between the stringers and the piles were ers and the piles were 

strong. strong. Or: The arching of 

the deck probably pulled 

the piling upward because 

the connections * * *. 

7. No punctuation is needed after items in a vertical list, whether numbered or unnumbered, 

unless the items are complete sentences or 

clauses: 

During our trip we saw many interesting sights: 

Washington Monument 

Statue of Liberty 

Mount Vernon 

Natural Bridge 

Lee's birthplace 

Shenandoah Valley 

But: 

P = %yH2Kp 

where 

P is force per horizontal foot of bulkhead, 

y the unit weight, 

H the height along the bulkhead, 

and 

Kp the passive pressure coefficient. 

8. A comma is needed between an adjective and an 

adverb modifying another adjective or a 

participle: 

Standard, nationally recognized units of measure * * *. 

9. A secondary clause beginning with "so," "then," 

or "yet" may need separating punctuation, and a 

comma may suffice. 

Field relations indicate divergent geomorphic histories for 

the two formations, yet over broad areas they are nearly 

coextensive. 

10. Survey style specifies the following uses or omissions of commas in relation to dates, names, 

places, and numbers: 

Wiimington, Del., was the site of the convention. 

July 4, 1776, was the date. 

July 1776 was the time. 

The comma 133 
The river flooded in June and July 1975. 

The river flooded between March 6 and April 15, 1975. 

The address of the U.S. Geological Survey's National 

Center is 12201 Sunrise Valley Drive, Reston, VA 22092. 

Water-Supply Paper 2022, page 2632 (this usage applies 

to all serial numbers); but, 

2,632 pages, 92,485 kilometers 

Henry Smith, Jr., chairman; John Smith I1 

An unneeded or a misplaced comma is as confusing as an omitted one. Commas should not 

separate a subject from its verb, a verb from its 

object, a preposition from its object, or an adjective from its noun. (A parenthetical expression is 

not considered to be a grammatical separation.) 

The comma in the following sentence separates a 

subject and its verb: 

A national program aimed at reducing hazards to lie and 

property and at minimizing disruption of governmental 

and private activities, is spelled out in a newly published 

report. (Either insert a comma after "program" or delete 

the comma after "activities.") 

Compound predicates and compound complementary infinitives, each consisting of no more than 

two elements, generally need no commas. The 

commas in the following sentences should be 

omitted: 

The Center staff also provides assistance to users, and 

conducts training courses in remote sensing. 

The final statement was filed with the Council of Environmental Quality, and was made available to the public 

in June. 

Scientific personnel are available to answer queries, and 

to explain how the Survey conducts mapping 

investigations. 

12. A comma may be used to prevent a misreading 

or to add emphasis. This rule provides the flexibility authors may need to occasionally sidestep 

the previous rules, as below: 

The movements of the shorelines were affected by 

sedimentation and subsidence, and were preserved as 

transgressive/regressive cycles. 

Dependent clauses are not normally preceded by 

commas, but because the preceding sentence contains an "and" before and after "subsidence," 

the comma after "subsidence" aids readability. 

In effect, the second clause then becomes a 

parenthetical add-on at the end of the sentence. 

This rationale does not mean that the rules 

should be violated on whim, but it does suggest 

that the rules may be bent to enhance clarity. 

Returning to Calkins' musical analogy, you can 

equate the semicolon with the half rest; it demands a 

longer pause than the comma. Use it, therefore, when 

you want a more significant stop than a comma, or 

when the comma is already serving a lower level function. Rules for the use of semicolons thus dovetail 

with rules for the use of commas. The first rule 

applies to punctuating a series: 

1. Use a semicolon to separate items in a series if 

individual items already contain commas: 

Much of the unit is red, pink, or gray; medium to coarse 

grained; and equigranular or slightly porphyritic. 

The first items of the series, "red, pink, or gray" 

are separated by commas. If you also used a 

comma to separate "gray" from "medium," the 

relationship between those elements would be confusing. Note also that once the need for the semicolon is dictated by internal commas, you must 

use semicolons in parallel fashion throughout the 

series-even if no other elements contain commas. 

If the sentence becomes unwieldy, it might be 

grasped more easily if written as follows: "Much 

of the unit is (1) red, pink, or gray, (2) medium to 

coarse grained, and (3) equigranular or slightly 

porphyritic." 

2. Use a semicolon to separate two independent 

clauses not joined by a coordinate conjunction: 

Only tungsten and tin are sufficiently concentrated to be 

potential resources; other elements shown in figures 4-6 

are possible "pathfinder" elements for exploring other 

prospects. 

In the above construction, the semicolon links two 

closely related but complete thoughts. The closer 

the link, the better it is to keep the ideas within 

the same sentence structure-joined, that is, by a 

semicolon instead of a period. A comma-splice 

run-on sentence, which is a mild illiteracy, would 

result if a comma were used in this construction. 

3. Use a semicolon to separate two independent 

clauses joined by a coordinate conjunction if either 

of the clauses contains at least two commas. As in 

a series, the commas are already serving one 

function (here, marking pauses within a clause); 

134 The semicolon 
the semicolon, therefore, must serve a function 

normally assigned to the comma: 

In some populated areas, such as the Lake Tahoe Basin 

or the Colorado Front Range, the uraniferous waters or 

the deposits themselves may be significant natural environmental hazards; and further study is needed to 

determine the severity of the problem. 

The nonrestrictive phrase starting with "such 

as," set off by the required pair of commas, dictates the need for the semicolon before the conjunction "and." The same rule would apply if the 

two commas were in the second clause. If you 

are uncomfortable with this use of the 

semicolon-and many writers are-you may avoid 

it by simply eliminating the coordinate conjunction "and" (rule 2) or by putting a period after 

"hazards" and beginning a new sentence with 

"further." 

4. Use a semicolon before adverbial conjunctions 

that begin a second or subsequent clauses. 

These are the more common adverbial 

conjuctions: 

accordingly moreover 

besides nevertheless 

consequently still 

furthermore therefore 

hence thus 

however 

In-place rock was sampled whenever possible; however, 

most plugs were taken from cores or from boulders 

around quarries or construction-site borrow pits. 

Note that "however" is preceded by a semicolon 

and followed by a comma; this punctuation is 

standard treatment for adverbial conjunctions. 

If a comma were used to splice this sentence 

together, a run-on sentence would result. The 

clue to avoiding the problem is in recognizing 

adverbial conjunctions. Rather than joining two 

clauses in a coordinate fashion, the adverbial conjunction both links and modifies. 

Because "however" is used widely as an adverbial conjunction in technical reports, its use as 

a standard adverb also needs mention. So used, it 

is treated like any other nonrestrictive element: 

In-place rock was sampled whenever possible; most plugs, 

however, were taken from cores or from boulders around 

quarries or construction-site borrow pits. 

In these two examples, the key difference in the 

use of "however" is its function in the sentence: 

As an adverbial conjunction, it introduces a new 

clause; as an adverb, it qualifies a statement 

being made within a clause. The second example 

reads more smoothly than the first, because 

"however" follows rather than precedes the subject it qualifies, "most plugs." The sentence would 

be even smoother, though less arresting, if "but" 

were used instead of "however," as a simple coordinating conjunction: 

In-place rock was sampled whenever [wherever] possible, 

but most plugs were taken from cores or from boulders 

around quarries * * *. (Note the substitution of 

"wherever," signifying place, for "whenever," signifying 

time.) 

5. Words and phrases such as "for example," "that 

is," and "namely," which introduce an enumeration or explanation, are preceded by a semicolon 

and followed by a comma: 

Simple physical and mathematical modeling is useful in 

investigating the general characteristics of a broad class of 

geothermal systems; for example, vapor-dominated or hotwater systems. 

This construction is least disruptive at the end of 

a sentence. If the context requires that it be 

embedded within the sentence, setting it off in 

dashes or parentheses is better than the punctuation just described. 

Periods are used after letters or numbers denoting 

items in vertical series, after abbreviations unless 

otherwise specified, in decimals, and after the captions 

of text illustrations, but not after titles or subtitles. 

Write: SW1la sec. 13, T. 2 S., R. 23 E.; N. 40° W., 

35" SE. The period provides a more emphatic stop 

than either the comma or the semicolon. It indicates 

that an idea is complete. Any writer who recognizes a 

complete statement uses the period quite naturally, 

but if its proper use is in doubt, see discussion of 

"Sentence Fragments" and "Run-On Sentences." 

The exclamation point is rarely used in technical 

writing (and practically never in Survey reports). Its 

use there tends to irritate the reader and suggests a 

certain immaturity on the part of the writer. Technical subject matter, moreover, does not lend itself to 

such emphasis, and even if it did, the use of the 

exclamation point is a bit histrionic for the objectives 

and style of technical writing. Emphasis is better 

gained through effective rhetoric. In a popular publication directed to a nontechnical readership, its use 

The exclamation point 135 
might rarely be justified, but its effectiveness is 

related to its not being overdone. An exclamation 

point must convey great emotion, anguish, force, 

excitement, or stress; for example, "Please be 

careful!" "No, not now!" "Help!" "Yes, yes!" and 

"The volcano is erupting!" Even to convey heightened 

emotion, the slight understatement of a period may 

express the poignancy more effectively: "When one 

experiences a storm like this and sees the consequences, exaggeration is difficult-and pointless." If 

the words themselves suffice to show the tone, the 

exclamation point is not called for (Fowler, 1965, 

p. 590). 

The colon is a handy punctuation mark because it 

tells the reader that a statement just read will be 

amplified immediately after the colon. This function, 

discussed in rule 1 below, is the most common use of 

the colon. 

1. The colon is used after an introductory statement 

that conveys the idea that something is to follow. 

The following is a list of observations summarizing the 

laboratory results: 

I regard the two surfaces as one, displaced by faulting, for 

the following reasons: 

In the above examples a period would be an 

acceptable substitute, but the colon makes the 

connection more precise and more emphatic: The 

reader is thereby prepared for the "list of observations" and the "following reasons." 

If the statement that precedes the colon is 

incomplete, the colon is generally inappropriate: 

Either the statement must be finished, or the 

colon must not be used. Rare exceptions seldom 

appear in technical reports, but here is an example: "Gold and silver: That's what won the West!" 

But do avoid the following trap: "Factors controlling distribution of stromatolites are: total 

quantity of sediment, rate of sediment movement, 

and wave action." Here the colon is unneeded and 

incorrect because the clause before the colon is an 

incomplete thought. 

2. A colon can be used to separate two independent 

clauses, the second of which amplifies the first. In 

this usage, a colon functions in the same way as a 

dash-it is no more correct than a semicolon or a 

period, but it more precisely defines the connection between the two independent clauses. The 

first word following the colon is not capitalized if 

the matter following it is merely a supplementary 

remark made to clanfy the meaning, as follows: 

Contact relations within the complex indicate that the 

granodiorite was the last intrusive phase: it cuts the diorite 

and tonalite. 

Here the colon clearly signals that what follows 

will prove that the granodiorite was the last intrusive rock. Although the colon is not required, it is 

informative. If the statement following the colon 

is a grammatically complete sentence that can 

stand alone, many American writers will capitalize 

the first word. 

3. A colon is used after the introduction to a long 

quotation. Long quotations have minimal use in 

technical writing, but when one is repeated, the 

colon is appropriate. 

The dash is an emphatic and versatile punctuation 

mark, but it should be used with restraint. Overuse 

dilutes its effectiveness and even antagonizes some 

readers-there are those who love it and those who 

do not-but when not overdone, its use can be very 

effective. 

The dash and the colon are often used interchangeably-some writers use the dash when, in fact, the 

colon is more apt. The dash, however, does have 

three major uses. The first is most common in 

technical writing: 

1. A pair of dashes is used to emphasize a nonrestrictive phrase or clause. In this construction, 

paired dashes replace the paired commas that 

would be standard usage. Keep in mind that the 

information enclosed by the dashes will receive 

particular attention from the reader. The following example shows how these dashes might be 

used: 

Another attribute of the Mowry Shale-a diagnostic one, 

and an unmistakable clue to the identity of the formation-is the presence of countless well-preserved fish scales 

found with little effort on nearly every outcrop. 

Use of dashes allows two major ideas to be 

conveyed in the above sentence-both what the 

attribute is and the writer's perception of its 

significance. The result is a sentence that is 

strong and effective. 

In other examples, the dash is justified by the 

context of the sentence. If several commas are 

136 The colon 
used in more than one function, the dash may 

prevent misreading: 

Change this To this 

There are shore deposits, There are shore depositsgravel, sand, and clay, but gravel, sand, and clay-but 

marine sediments underlie marine sediments underlie 

them. them. 

On first reading, "shore deposits" appears to be 

the first of a series of four items; the reader must 

reread the sentence to recognize that the final 

three items are a subset of the first. Although 

"gravel, sand, and clay" do not require emphasis 

in this sentence, this construction both emphasizes 

and clarifies the relationship between the ideas. 

Parentheses could have been used, but they would 

have deemphasized the enclosed matter. 

2. The dash is used before a word that sums up a 

preceding series. This use of the dash parallels the 

second use of the colon: It is an artful punctuation. A minor rearrangement of the sentence 

would eliminate its need, but the dash effectively 

conveys the appropriate emphasis: 

The close association with chemogenic units and rocks indicative of pauses in active volcanism, the simple mineral 

assemblage, and the rhyolite doming in some localities-all 

suggest that the stratiform sulfides developed through 

fumarolic activity. 

If you eliminate "all," the dash will have to go 

too. The present construction, however, allows the 

reader to pause and absorb the material preceding 

the dash before reading on to its significance. 

3. A dash is used to indicate an afterthought or an 

abrupt change in thought. This use requires caution. It rarely is acceptable in technical writing 

but it can be very effective: 

Then, when downcutting resumed, the soft fill was 

removed preferentially and buried promontories such as 

Kings Point were exhumed-an ancient Tertiary landscape 

faithfully, if incompletely, restored. 

Consideration of readership is important when 

you construct and punctuate sentences. Artful 

uses of the dash and the colon can appeal to those 

readers who appreciate both what you say and 

how you say it. 

Parentheses (which always come in pairs) are used 

to enclose disconnected elements. Their function 

parallels that of paired commas and paired dashes, 

but parentheses deemphasize the enclosed matter; 

dashes have the opposite effect-they emphasize. 

Commas, being neutral, merely separate. 

In Survey writing (and in most other technical 

reports) parentheses are used chiefly to set off bibliographic citations and references to figures and tables. 

They also set off (1) numbers or (a) letters identifying 

items of a run-in series. 

The hyphen is widely used in technical writing, but 

it can be ambiguous and confusing. Principles outlined 

below may help avert problems: 

In Syllable Breaks 

Word breaks at the ends of lines of type should be 

made only between syllables, and any good contemporary dictionary will show where the syllable breaks 

are. Syllable breaks are ignored in some computer-set 

type, and though the resulting errors may be amusing, they are always distractive and should always be 

corrected in galley or page proof. 

In Unit Modifiers 

A unit modifier is made from two or more words 

that together qualify the meaning of a noun; for 

example, "zero-frequency limit," "pale-green shale," 

and "water-oil flow." If the words must work in 

tandem to be meaningful, use a hyphen. If each word 

individually modifies the noun, omit the hyphen. The 

following basic rules apply: 

1. Words functioning as unit modifiers (that 

precede the noun modified) are generally 

hyphenated. 

a 6- to 10-m-thick unit 

five-spot homogeneous system 

five- and nine-point finite-difference grids 

chimney- and halo-like anomalies (better to say 

"chimneylike" and "halolike" anomalies) 

log-interpreted lithology 

oil-bearing shale 

cliff-forming sandstone 

fine-grained, thin-bedded sandstone 

blue-green algae 

dark-gray shale 

Omission of the hyphen can change the meaning 

(p. 146). 

The hyphen 137 
2. The same words used as compound predicate adjectives (following the verb) are not hyphenated. 

The shale is oil bearing. 

The sandstone is fine grained and thin bedded. 

3. Do hyphenate unit modifiers that follow the noun 

in inverted sentences (often used in map explanations and measured sections). 

Sandstone, fine-grained and thin-bedded 

Shale, oil-bearing 

4. A two-word unit modifier is not hyphenated if 

the first word is an adverb ending in "ly," but 

adverbs that might be mistaken for adjectives 

should be followed by a hyphen. 

Finely crystalline limestone 

Widely spaced joints 

Very clean outcrop 

Well-defined aquifer 

Poorly defined surface 

The hyphen is not used if the first word of a 

three-word unit modifier is an adverb that 

modifies the second word, or if the first two 

words are adverbs. 

Very fine grained sandstone 

Very well defined surface 

Unusually well preserved specimen 

6. Common adverbs that cannot be mistaken for 

adjectives need not be hyphenated. 

Too much turbidity 

Almost empty pool 

7. If the words of the unit modifier commonly go 

together, hyphenation is unnecessary. Ask yourself if you are improving the readability of your 

sentence by adding hyphens. 

High school student 

Rare earth element 

Mother Lode Belt 

Solid waste disposal 

8. The intent of hyphenation in unit modifiers is to 

aid readability; a hyphen is unnecessary if the 

meaning is clear without it. 

Rules may seem arbitrary, but they are based 

on clarity and readability. Rules 7 and 8 are 

deliberately vague, because the decision to use a 

hyphen is sometimes a matter of judgment. Additional rules 9-13 from the U.S. GPO Style 

Manual (1984, p. 75-79) apply to many Survey 

manuscripts: 

9. Do not use a hyphen in a unit modifier consisting 

of a foreign phrase. 

in situ sample 

ex officio member 

per diem allowance 

prima facie evidence 

But, "They did not believe in-vitro fertilization 

was feasible" needs a hyphen to avoid temporary 

misreading. 

10. Use a hyphen or hyphens to prevent mispronunciation, to ensure a definite accent on each element of the compound, or to avoid ambiguity. 

un-ionized (as distinguished from unionized) 

non-quartz-bearing rock 

non-civil-service position 

11. Use a hyphen between the elements of compound 

numbers from twenty-one to ninety-nine and in 

adjective compounds having numerical first 

elements. 

twenty-one 

2-meter rattlesnake 

two-sided question 

thirty- (30-) day period 

12. Do not use a hyphen in scientific terms used as 

unit modifiers if no hyphen appears in their 

original form. (For hyphenating petrologic terms, 

see "Petrologic Terminology," p. 98) 

carbon dioxide content 

methyl bromide solution 

equivalent uranium content 

quartz monzonite stock 

but, iron-oxide-stained zone 

13. Use as one word compass directions consisting of 

two points, but use a hyphen after the first point 

when three points are combined 

northeast 

north-northeast 

The hyphen 
14. Use a hyphen between numerical values when 

"from * * * to" is not used. (Substitute an en 

dash for the hyphen in typeset copy.) 

from 3 to 6 m 

3-6 m 

Any ambiguity that interrupts the reader's train of 

thought diminishes comprehension. Hyphens may cause 

ambiguity, because they are used to join words as well 

as to separate them. If a hyphen causes ambiguity, a 

slash may add clarity. Consider the "Green-Snake 

divide": Here the hyphen seems to punctuate a unit 

modifier, "Green Snake," but the intention is to indicate the divide between the Green and Snake Rivers. 

"Greedsnake divide" would be clearer. Confusion is 

compounded if three or more words are involved: 

"Sunbeam-Sand Wash Basin area" seems to say that 

"Sunbeam-Sand" is a unit modifier of "Wash Basin." 

In "dry oak-hickory savannah," the expression is 

obscure unless a slash replaces the hyphen. Another 

example further illustrates the point: "a slump-debrisflow complex." Because "debris-flow" as a unit modifier of "complex" requires a hyphen, an additional 

hyphen after "slump" obscures the meaning, but a 

slash clarifies it: "a slump/debris-flow complex." 

Rephrasing with prepositions may add clarity but also 

adds words and tends to be cumbersome, especially if 

used repeatedly in the same or in succeeding paragraphs: "a complex of slumps and debris-flows." 

Use a slash to substitute for "per" (mlkm, ft3/s, 

gallmin) . 

1. In the possessive case 

The apostrophe is used chiefly to form possessives, indicate contractions, and create certain 

plurals. The possessive case of a singular or plural 

noun ending in "s" or with an "s" sound is 

formed by adding an apostrophe only: boss', 

bosses', Reynolds', Reynoldses', Ph.D.s', and 

Cos.'. To show possession in compound nouns, add 

an "s" to the last word only: secretary-treasurer's 

position, David Brown III's report. 

Remember that the apostrophe is omitted from 

the possessive pronouns its, yours, theirs, ours, 

and hers. 

The possessive form is added to the last element 

of a series to show joint possession-Tyler, Moore, 

and York's experiment-but to each element to 

show separate possession-author's, technical 

reviewer's, or editor's opinion. The singular possessive case is used in such general terms as 

fuller's earth and miner's inch. 

2. In contractions 

Contractions are rarely used in formal technical 

writing, but the contraction "it's" and the possessive "its" are commonly confused in Survey 

manuscripts. 

3. In plurals 

Despite a trend in contemporary writing toward 

eliminating the apostrophe from certain plurals, 

STA follows the U.S. GPO Style Manual (1984, 

p. 118, rule 8.11) in its use of coined plurals of 

letters, figures, and symbols, such as 1920's, 

Btu's, a's, 7's, T's, and 2x4's. On the other hand, 

adding apostrophes to the plurals of common or 

proper nouns not in the possessive case is a 

clumsy error: assorted opal's; elephant's on the 

move; dined with the.Smith's. 

One primary function of brackets is to indicate information added to the work of another writer. This 

information is generally added in either of two places: 

in quotations or in references. Occasionally a quotation will be introduced by a pronoun that does not 

provide a clear referent for the reader. Brackets can 

be used to add the referent, as in the following 

example: 

The Federal Government should, as a matter of policy, actively 

and vigorously seek to take maximum feasible advantage of the 

opportunities provided by this [information resources management] technological revolution. 

In references, brackets are used to indicate additional 

information that is not available on the title page of 

the publication. This information might be the actual 

date of publication as compared to the imprint date, 

an English translation of a foreign language title, or an 

indication that a particular cited article is an abstract. 

The Survey also uses brackets to enclose headnotes 

in tables and measured sections. 

Ellipsis is the omission of words necessary for complete grammatical construction but unnecessary for 

comprehension in the context of a sentence. Ellipsis 

@I. ellipses) is also used in the omission of material 

from quotations. The Survey advocates a series of 

three asterisks separated by spaces (in preference to 

a series of three periods) to indicate points of ellipsis 

(* * *). Asterisks avoid the confusion that period 

Points of elli~sis 139 
ellipses cause at the end of a sentence. Four periods 

in a row could mean that the ellipsis either precedes 

or follows the end of the sentence, but when three 

asterisks and a period are used, the end of the 

sentence is obvious. Few people outside the Federal 

Government use asterisks, but their meaning in context is self-evident. 

In Survey style, quotation marks are used to 

enclose (1) direct quotations, (2) titles of publications 

named in text, (3) words spoken of as words, (4) 

letters spoken of as letters, (5) words used ironically 

or out of context, and (6) misnomers. At the ends of 

quotes, the comma and the final period are placed inside quotation marks. Other punctuation marks are 

placed inside the quotation marks only if they are 

part of the matter quoted. 

If the quoted matter consists of more than one 

paragraph, you should place quotation marks at the 

beginning of each paragraph and at the end of the 

quotation. The editor may remove the quotes and 

mark the copy for type different from the rest of the 

text. You may omit nonpertinent parts of quoted matter, but the omission should be indicated by ellipsis 

marks (* * *), and the result should be a complete 

sentence. 

Omission of a complete paragraph should be indicated by a line of seven asterisks separated by 

spaces across the page or column. 

Matter following "entitled," "the word," "the 

term," "marked," "designated," "classified," 

"named," and "signed" is usually enclosed in quotation marks. Matter following "known as" and "socalled" is usually not enclosed in quotation marks. 

For example: 

The term "silt" refers to unconsolidated rock particles finer 

than sand and coarser than clay. The so-called bottom load 

refers to the larger particles that move on or near the bed of 

the stream. 

Further examples of appropriate use of quotation 

marks are given in the U.S. GPO Style Manual (1984, 

p. 131): 

After the word "treaty," insert a comma. 

Of what does the item "miscellaneous debts" consist? 

The document will be marked "Exhibit 21"; ht The document 

may be made exhibit 2. 

The check was endorsed "John Adamson." 

It was signed "John." 

Beryllium is known as glucinium in some European countries. 

The so-called investigating body met *. 

Quotation marks should not be used in lieu of 

apology-to say, in effect, that a particular word 

probably isn't the best available, but that time was 

not available to find one more suitable. Nor should 

quotes be used with condescension-to indicate that 

you know the word isn't quite right, but fear the 

reader may not know unless tipped off. 

Try to preserve an author's style if he is an author and has a style. 

Wolcott Gibbs 

Style is more easily recognized than defined. You 

may recognize it in people, places, and things without 

knowing why. Some have style; some have not. Style 

in writing is the way thoughts are put into words, the 

form of expression as distinguished from the content. 

As a technical writer, you may never achieve style in 

a literary sense, but your goal should be to write 

clearly enough to be understood and smoothly enough 

to avoid stylistic quirks. Technical writing should be 

dispassionate and unobtrusive. If your readers are 

overly conscious of how you express yourself, your 

message will fall short. Being clearly understood is 

the best test of good technical writing style. 

Style is hard to categorize because it is more 

judgmental than grammatical. Writing can be grammatically flawless but without style, and a writer may 

relish a phrasing that a reader finds offensive. Good 

style should have a certain grace and elegance that 

the reader senses subconsciously. The basic elements 

of style can be learned, and understanding them helps 

authors and editors alike uphold the quality of Survey 

writing. 

To express thoughts effectively, you may need to 

emphasize different parts of a sentence. Some common ways are given below. 

Position 

Important ideas should have important positionspositions that command attention. Unimportant ideas 

should be subordinated. The most emphatic positions 

in the sentence are the beginning and the end, especially the end. Readers naturally stress the words 

immediately preceding and following punctuation 

marks. The only objection to ending a sentence with a 

preposition is that an unimportant or weak word is 

placed in a position of emphasis. A sentence ended 

with a preposition, however, may be better than an 

unnatural or awkward sentence phrased to avoid such 

an ending. 

140 Quotation marks 
Order 

Deviation from the usual order attracts attention. 

In some sentences emphasis can be changed by just 

transposing a word or phrase: 

Gold mining has been the leading industry of the region for 

many years. (Emphasis on gold mining.) 

For many years gold mining has been the leading industry of 

the region. (Emphasis on many years.) 

The leading industry of the region has long been gold mining. 

(Emphasis on leading industry.) 

In this region gold mining has long been the leading industry. 

(Emphasis on region.) 

Voice 

The active and passive voices are discussed further 

on page 142. Two points, however, relate directly to 

the subject of emphasis: (1) The passive voice, on the 

whole, is less emphatic than the active, and (2) whatever emphasis the passive voice has is imparted to the 

object acted upon rather than to the agent of the 

action. "The sandstone is cut obliquely by the fault" 

(passive voice) emphasizes the sandstone and is not as 

strong overall as "The fault obliquely cuts the sandstone" (active voice). 

Specific Terms 

Specific and concrete terms are more emphatic than 

general and abstract terms. 

Italic 

Italic type is used chiefly to differentiate or highlight certain words or phrases. In manuscript, it is 

indicated by underlining. In scientific writing, italic 

should not be used for emphasis; composition should 

be so phrased that emphasis requires no typographic 

assistance. Similarly, boldface type should not be used 

for mere emphasis either. 

The following are examples of what is printed in 

italic: 

See and see also, in indexes and glossaries 

In and of in certain reference citations 

Sideheads in text 

Names of vessels, aircraft, and spacecraft 

Letter symbols in mathematical equations 

Most letter symbols used in physics. 

Letters used for subordinating figure numbers for 

maps and other illustrations, or in text to refer to 

such numbers, are set in italic without periods and 

are capitalized if so shown in copy-for example 

"(fig. ,A)." 

Scientific names of genera, species, and subspecies 

or varieties of organisms are ordinarily italicized, but 

in italic matter they are set in roman: Productus, 

Inoceramus fragilis, Ostrea congesta Conrad, Bulimina elongata subulata. If italic is unavailable on the 

office printer, such names may be printed in a suitable typeface different from that used in the text, 

following recommendations of the International Code 

of Zoological Nomenclature (Stoll and others, 1964, 

p. 143; Ride and others, 1985). Underlining, for example, is more commonly .available on word processors 

than italic and is equally appropriate for camera-ready 

copy. One typeface should be used throughout. Names 

of families and higher groups are ordinarily printed in 

roman: Brachiopoda, Mollusca, Foraminifera. 

Chemical symbols and foreign words are printed in 

roman, even in italic matter. 

VARIETY IN SENTENCE LENGTH AND TYPE 

Monotonous sentence structure reduces the effectiveness of a report. You can achieve variety in 

sentence length or form by interspersing simple, 

complex, and compound sentences, by changing the 

word order, by using meaningful connectives, and by 

avoiding excessive use of participial phrases. 

Some authorities advocate short, snappy sentences, 

but too little variety in length-either short or longyields flaccid prose. Too many short, choppy sentences 

tend to irritate the reader, but one long sentence after 

another befogs the reader's mind. Good writing needs 

a mixture of sentence lengths to provide cadence, add 

emphasis, and heighten interest. The longer the sentence, the greater the risk of convolution, but regardless of length, the train of thought is broken if the 

reader is forced to analyze the sentence structure to 

unravel its meaning. Long sentences of themselves 

need not be hard to read. The late Survey grammariangeologist Frank Calkins once pointed out that a sentence may be long without being involved, or involved 

without being long, but an involved sentence always 

seems longer than it really is. One short sentence in a 

series of longer ones will catch extra stress. So will 

the converse. By varying sentence lengths, therefore, 

you can effectively control emphasis. To check for 

appropriate length, read the words aloud, listening for 

their clarity, flow, and cadence. Whispering the words 

to yourself is almost as effective. A reminder: The 

most emphatic places in a sentence are at the beginning and the end, where the eye lingers longest. The 

important words belong there. 

Four Types of Sentences 

To enhance style, sentences should vary in form as 

well as length. Regardless of length, every sentence 

Variety in sentence length and type 141 
can be classified into one of four types: simple, compound, complex, or compound-complex. 

Simple. A simple sentence contains one independent clause consisting of at least one subject and one 

verb: "The ground shook." Simple sentences thus can 

be spare in form, but they can also have associated 

objects and linkages: "The ground appeared to be 

stable." (Here the phrase "appeared to be" links the 

subject to "stable.") Simple sentences can also be 

quite involved: "The striking contrast between the 

simplicity and symmetry of spheres and the apparent 

chaos of the universe has attracted men to spherical 

bodies since the dawn of abstract perception." Short 

sentences likely are simple sentences, but simple 

sentences are not necessarily short. 

Compound. A compound sentence consists of two 

or more simple sentences joined by a coordinating 

conjunction (and, but, for, or, yet, so) or a semicolon. 

When a reviewer suggests a need to coordinate ideas, 

the compound sentence is a possible approach. Like 

the simple sentence, a compound sentence can be 

rather simple or rather complicated in form. A simple 

example: "The northeastern margin of the batholith 

steepens with depth, and in the lowest exposed parts 

it is nearly vertical." A more complicated example: 

"The two coal dumps near Engleside are shown on 

the map because the steep angle of repose poses [ugh] 

a threat of landslide, and they contribute smoke, suspended solids, and odor to the atmosphere, as well as 

suspended and dissolved minerals to the streams and 

ground water." This sentence needs help. Each clause 

introduces multiple thoughts ineptly strung together. 

Complex. Complex sentences convey ideas that 

have unequal relationships-one independent clause 

linked to one or more dependent clauses. Certain 

ideas are thus subordinated to others that the writer 

regards as more essential. If the expressed idea is uncomplicated, the dependent clause can be short: "The 

basal unit is the Anza Formation, which is a coarse 

conglomerate about 350 m thick." The author chose 

to emphasize the idea that the basal unit is the Anza 

Formation. Greater stress could be added by placing 

"Formation" last: "The basal unit, which is a coarse 

conglomerate about 350 m thick, is the Anza 

Formation." 

Complex sentences often contain fairly involved 

ideas, sometimes to their detriment: "Because the 

ship selected for the program, the Ghmr Conception, 

lacked dynamic positioning capability, its anchoring 

capacity determined the maximum water depth in 

which drilling could take place." Inserting "the 

Glomar Conception" into the middle of the first clause 

broke the rhythm of the sentence. Two separate 

sentences, one simple and one complex, would be 

better: "The ship selected for the program was the 

Glomar Conception. Because it lacked dynamic positioning capability, its anchoring capacity determined 

the maximum water depth in which drilling could take 

place." Complex sentences communicate involved 

ideas and provide variety in style, but their construction needs care. 

Compound-complex. The compound-complex 

sentence is potentially the longest and most complicated sentence type, and it therefore contains pitfalls for both the writer and the reader. Combining 

the two previous sentence types, it consists of two or 

more independent clauses, and one or more dependent 

clauses. Although such a sentence can be unmanageable, and sometimes is, it can also be clear and 

bright: "As the mass arched through the air, it quickly chilled on the outside, and a hardened skin formed 

around the still-hot plastic core." The following sentence, at the other extreme, is neither clear nor 

bright: "These feldspars differ from the saussurite 

pseudomorphs occurring in some of the rocks transitional to the quartz diorites, although even these 

saussuritic feldspars are probably due to hydrous 

solutions, inasmuch as zoisite is a hydrous silicate, 

and they suggest, if they do not demand, dynamic 

processes for their formation." A danger of the 

compound-complex form thus is that the sentence 

may be so dense with poorly expressed ideas that the 

reader cannot easily interpret the message. Note that 

"occurring" is superfluous in the above example and 

should have been left out. 

Active Versus Passive Voice 

Voice refers to the relationship between a transitive 

verb and the subject of the sentence either as actor 

or as recipient of the action. If the subject is the 

actor, the voice is active: "Jane measured the section." If the subject is the recipient, the voice is 

passive: "The section was measured by Jane." Note 

that the passive form requires an auxiliary verb (was), 

which adds an extra word to the sentence, and a 

preposition (by), which adds another. Saving a few 

words here and there makes little difference to the 

preparation cost of the report, but it can greatly 

improve the style and readability. The following sentence gains both style and readability by a change of 

voice: "As a result of determining the hydrological 

units, a clearer [clarified our] understanding of 

stratigraphy was achieved. 

In another simple example, "I did the experiment," 

the voice again is active. The pronoun subject "I" is 

the actor who did the experimenting. In the passive 

voice, "The experiment was done by me," the noun 

subject, "experiment," received the action of the 

142 Four types of sentences 
verb, and the actor was relegated to a flabby prepositional phrase tacked onto the end of the sentence. If 

the whole discussion centers around the experiment, 

however, it would be silly not to make "experiment" 

the subject of the sentence, even in the passive voice. 

To do otherwise would jar the reader. The passive 

voice requires more words to say the same thing, but 

it is less personal than the active voice and is more 

anonymous and hence is less committal: "These rocks 

are thought to be overturned" doesn't say who thinks 

so; it lets the writer off the hook. It also is more 

modest than "I think these rocks are overturned," 

and it is less assertive than, simply, "These rocks are 

overturned," but it also is less forthright and less 

forceful. Good technical writing should have a blending of voices, but the active should predominate. In 

any event, the subject matter of a report needs 

emphasis, not its author. 

Passive Voice and Personal Pronouns, 

First and Third Person 

Some writers conscientiously use the passive voice 

or the third person to avoid using the pronouns "I" 

or "we" (first person) on the grounds that such 

usage is somehow boastful. The first person is more 

straightforward than the third, and avoiding an 

appropriate "I" risks a stodgy, overly formal style. 

Referring to yourself as "the author," 'the writer," 

or "the senior author" smacks of false humility. "The 

author" or "the writer," moreover, can be ambiguous 

or even misleading if another author has just been 

mentioned: "Gillespie's report mentioned several 

occurrences of chalcopyrite, but their exact locations 

were unknown to the writer." 

On the other hand, some authors overuse the 

first person in a way that seems arrogant or selfcongratulatory. Survey editors try to be openminded 

about authors' preferences; use either person, first or 

third, but do not use them both in the same report. If 

you find yourself struggling to avoid the first person, 

use it, but if it appears on every page, or more than 

once or twice on a single page, rephrasing may be 

appropriate. 

That, Which, Who, Whom, and Whose in Restrictive 

and Nonrestrictive Clauses 

THAT, relative pronoun. . .The two kinds of relative clause, to 

one of which that and to the other of which which is appropriate, 

are the defining and the nondefining; and if writers would agree to 

regard that as the defining relative pronoun, and which as the nondefining, there would be much gain both in lucidity and in ease. 

H. W. Fowler 

Some misunderstanding and argument cloud the 

distinctions in the use of the relative pronouns "that" 

and "which." As a relative pronoun, "that" is used 

only to introduce restrictive (distinguishing or defining) clauses: "Oviparous animals are those that lay 

eggs." The essence of the sentence is lost if the 

"that" clause is deleted. "Which" is used to introduce 

nonrestrictive (informing or parenthetical) clauses: 

"Oviparous animals, which include birds and most 

reptiles, are those that lay eggs." Delete the "which" 

clause and the sentence still makes sense. Many good 

writers use "which" to introduce restrictive clauses, 

but in so doing they lose an element of precision and 

style in their writing. In the following jingle, substitute "which" for "that" and note the loss of style; it 

becomes just a bit prissy. 

This is the house that Jack built. 

This is the cow with the crumpled horn 

That tossed the dog 

That womed the cat 

That killed the rat 

That ate the malt 

That lay in the house that Jack built. 

Similarly, "These are the times that try men's souls" 

is a powerful statement; substitute "which" for 

"that" and feel the loss of strength. 

Some otherwise great writers have been inveterate 

whichers, but STA urges Survey writers to observe 

the distinctions anyway, not just to help preserve the 

purity of the language but to maintain the clarity of 

their writing. 

Some authors are elegant variationists. They throw 

in an occasional "which" just for the sake of euphony, 

or they alternate between "that" and "which" in a 

litany of inelegance. Try it with "The house that Jack 

built." 

In some constructions, either "that" or "which" is 

appropriate, depending on the intent of the writer: 

Restrictive. "The peak that is capped with quartzite is the 

highest in the range." (Here the capping of quartzite distinguishes the highest peak from lesser ones capped with 

something else.) 

Nonrestrictive. "The peak, which is capped with quartzite, is 

the highest in the range." (Here the capping of quartzite is 

merely added information, incidental to the statement of fact.) 

In both examples, the whole issue can be sidestepped 

without a loss of good grammar by just omitting 

"that is" or "which is': "The peak capped with 

quartzite is the highest in the range." The sense of 

the clause is restrictive unless "capped with quartzite" is set off by commas. 

That, which, who, whom, and whose in restrictive and nonrestrictive clauses 143 
In another example that could be either restrictive 

or nonrestrictive, "Periodically, much of Browns Park 

was flooded by lake waters that deposited blankets of 

sand and clay," the author wanted to emphasize the 

fact that the lake waters were depositing sand and 

clay. They were not just any old lake waters. 

The pronouns "who" and "whom" are acceptable 

substitutes for "that" or "which" but only as applied 

to persons, not to animals, for which they are 

unidiomatic: 

This is the maiden all forlorn that [who] milked the cow with 

the crumpled horn. 

"Whose," however, is an idiomatic substitute for persons, animals, and inanimate objects, and its use can 

enhance clarity: 

This is the dog the mistress of which [whose mistress] milked 

the cow. 

The peak of which the [whose] summit is quartzite * * 

The use of "which" in a restrictive clause occasionally adds something to a sentence, at least if an emotional or a melodramatic effect is desired: "It is for 

us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus 

far so nobly advanced." Frank Calkins called this construction the "running which," and it isn't preceded 

by a comma, but such an effect is seldom sought in 

scientific works. More often, "which" is used simply 

out of habit, or because the writer is unaware of the 

distinction. "Which" used in a restrictive sense is not 

a cardinal sin, but the precision of the sentence is 

diminished if the distinction is not observed. 

Parenthetical Expressions 

Parenthetical expressions are nonrestrictive interjections and hence are not essential to the grammatical completeness of a sentence. They can range 

from single words or short verbless phrases to long 

independent clauses or complete sentences set off by 

commas, dashes, brackets, or parentheses. They offer 

flexibility, therefore, in conveying information and in 

varying your writing style, but for the same reasons, 

they can easily confuse the reader. If they are 

lengthy, or are carelessly placed, they force the 

reader to backtrack to pick up the essential thread of 

the sentence: "Five flatcars carrying U.S. Mail, as 

well as the toe of the landslide, came to rest in the 

Weber River." 

For easy reading, put parenthetical expressions at 

logical breaks in the sentence-before, between, or 

after independent clauses, not in the middle of them. 

Place them after prepositional phrases or after participial phrases. Avoid interjections (unless unusual 

impact is desired) in the middle of a clause, where 

they will jar the reader. Sentences read more 

smoothly if such breaks are at logical breathing 

places. Additional information is sometimes better 

presented in a separate sentence rather than in a 

parenthetical expression. 

Parallel Construction 

Parallel construction is one of the author's 

strongest tools for writing clearly and forcefully. 

Sentence elements that are parallel or coordinate in 

meaning should also be parallel or coordinate in style. 

The following sentence elements signal the need for 

parallel construction: 

1. Coordinate conjunctions ("and," "but," "or," 

sometimes "for," "nor," "yet"). A shift in verb 

tense, voice, or mood, after a coordinate conjunction, violates the principle of parallelism and may 

also create other difficulties: 

Change this: To this: 

Tours of the faclity will Tours of the facility will 

begin following the ceremony begin on Friday following the 

on Friday and continuing ceremony and will continue 

through Saturday. through Saturday. 

Limestone in massive beds Limestone in massive beds; 

and thin layers of sandstone sandstone in thin beds 

2. Correlative conjunctions ("both * * * and"; "either * * * Or"; "if * * * then"; "neither 

*** nor"; "not only * * * but also"). If a verb 

follows one, a verb should follow the other; if a 

prepositional phrase follows one, a prepositional 

phrase should follow the other. Repair of faulty 

parallelism may require only transposition or addition of a word or two. 

Mr. Small both talked [both] longer and more rapidly than 

I had expected. 

To the northeast, the sandstone bed both became [both] 

thicker and coarser grained. ("Both" adds little to either 

of the above sentences and could be omitted.) 

Either the water was [either] too turbulent or too shallow 

for such bottom-dwelling species. 

Either you will [either] report on time or be penalized for 

your absence. 

This nation not only has achieved great things [not only] in 

science but also in the arts. 

The program not only aimed at development of techniques 

that [not only] would be useful in the present emergency 

but also would improve the efficiency of normal operations. 

144 Parenthetical expressions 
3. "And which," "and who," "and that," "but 

which," "but who," and "but that" need a 

preceding "which," "who," or "that." 

Change this To this 

This district, the largest and This district, which is the 

which contains the principal largest and which contains 

mine, is in the western part the principal mine, is in the 

of the county. western part of the county. 

4. Items in a list, in a reading column of a table, and 

in a description of a process should be in parallel 

format. 

Change this To this 

a. Laboratory equipment a. Assemble laboratory 

should be assembled. equipment. 

b. Then arrange samples in b. Arrange samples in 

proper sequence. proper sequence. 

c. Tests are run. c. Run tests. 

d. We recommend that d. Record results. 

results then be recorded. 

5. Items in a series. 

Change this To this 

The content of CRIB was The content of CRIB was 

based on user response, in- based on user response, 

dividual discussions, and by individual discussions, and 

certain requirements of the certain requirements of the 

GYPSY program. GYPSY program. Or: * * * 

on user response, on individual discussions, and on 

certain requirements of the 

GYPSY program. 

The Department of the Scientists of the Department 

Interior had 15 Skylab ex- of the Interior were principal 

periments in which its scien- investigators on 15 Skylab 

tists were principal investi- experiments and were cogators, co-investigator~ on 4 investigator~ on 4 other exother experiments, including periments, including one with 

one experiment with the the Italian Geological Survey. 

Italian Geological Survey. 

6. Expressions of comparison and contrast. 

Change this To this 

The instruments on Skylab The instruments on Skylab 

were more complex than the were more complex than 

ERTS payload. those on ERTS. 

Faulty parallelism. Florida deposits were discovered in 

1888, in Tennessee in 1894, and in the Western United 

States in 1906. 

If you don't believe the previous sentence has 

faulty parallelism, substitute "phosphate" for 

"Florida" to see the flaw. 

Suggested alternative. Deposits were discovered in 

Florida in 1888, in Tennessee in 1894, and in the Western 

United States in 1906. 

Parallelism is flawed if a series includes items 

that do not really belong. Consider the following 

example: 

Faulty parallelism. Abstracts are selected on the basis of 

geologic significance, amount of new information, broad 

interest, and in the case of section meetings there must be 

relevance to the section's geographic coverage. 

The first three elements of the preceding sentence 

express parallelism through a series of noun 

phrases, but the "and" introduces an unrelated 

independent clause. The three items preceding 

"and" relate to something other than section 

meetings, and they rightly belong in a parallel 

series, but the final item does not. The problem 

can be remedied as follows: 

Suggested alternative. Abstracts for the national meeting are selected for geologic significance, new information, 

and broad interest; abstracts for section meetings must 

additionally be relevant to the section's geographic 

coverage. 

The use of the word "additionally" in the previous 

sentence conveys the idea that abstracts for section meetings must meet the criteria for abstracts 

for the national meeting as well. 

More examples of faulty parallelism. The 

following sentences are clumsy or misleading 

because they fail to observe parallelism. Words in 

italic should be deleted; words in brackets should 

be added. Read each sentence first with the italic, 

then as corrected. 

The average growing season according to the Ennis record 

is 98 days [at Ennis] and longer at the other stations. 

The district has a moderate climate, in winter not very 

cold and not ezeessively hot in summer [not excessively 

hot]. 

The veins pinch out in one direction and in th,e other pass 

under the glacier [in the other]. 

These leaves range in length from 6 to 9.5 cm and [in 

width] from 4 to 7.5 cm in width. 

The boundary between the belts is fairly distinct in [some] 

places and in places indefinite [in others]. 

The biotite replaced albite and quartz extensively and sparingly replaced hornblende [sparingly]. 

The layers of shale are much thinner than the chert layers 

[of chert]. 

Estimating the potential value of power sites and [the] 

storage capacities [capacity] of reservoir sites * * *. 

("Storage capacity" is an abstract term like "potential 

value.") 

Parallel construction 
The replacement of pyrite by chalcocite would result in an 

increase in volume; the replacement of chalcocite by pyrite 

would ocm with a slight volume deerease [result in a slight 

decrease]. 

A change in form of a phrase or clause may be 

taken by some readers to indicate a difference in 

idea, but in the immediately preceding example 

the only difference is between "increase" and 

"slight decrease." The two clauses are parallel 

and should be expressed in the same form. Also, 

the phrasing would be stronger if "would result 

in" were changed to "would cause9'-a change 

from intransitive mode to transitive. 

For clarity, sentences that contain coordinate information should be written in parallel form also: 

The Madison Limestone forms sheer cliffs. The underlying 

Lodore Shale forms mbbly slopes. 

Excessively Long Unit Modifiers 

Authors should avoid clumsy unit modifiers intended 

to save space but more likely to confuse the reader. 

Read, for example, the following: "It is shown by this 

simple study that advances must be made in both 

earthquake-prediction capability, and in ground-motion 

and structural-response-estimation technology, for the 

costs associated with long-term design and planning 

decisions to be significantly reduced." Aside from all 

the other stylistic problems in this sentence, the 

overuse of the unit modifier diminishes clarity and 

hampers the comprehension of the reader. Few 

readers are likely to grasp the meaning of this 

sentence without regressing more than once. 

The following clever phrases gleaned chiefly from 

the columns of Robert L. Bates can be clarified 

simply by recasting with prepositional phrases or 

by inserting appropriate hyphens. 

Multidisciplinary Sinkhole Conference 

(Change to: Multidisciplinary Conference on 

Sinkholes) 

Heavy crude trained personnel 

(Change to: Personnel trained in [refining?] heavy 

crude) 

Endangered Mammalian Dictionary 

(Change to: Dictionary of Endangered Mammals) 

Caribbean Plate Steering Group 

(This example is too precious to alter) 

Regional Climate Coordinating Office 

(This example is too ambiguous to remedy without 

additional information) 

Underwater Mining Institute 

Abnormal Subsurface Pore Pressure Symposium 

Abandoned Mine Reclamation Project 

Small horsepower salesman 

First carnivorous dinosaur eggs 

Closed loop Earth coupled heat pump 

High Altitude Health Conference 

Low rank coal study 

Underground Operators Conference 

Boring Late Cambrian organisms 

Horizontal boring machine operator 

Avoid using nouns as adjectives, especially in unit 

modifiers: 

Ocean Disposal Symposium 

Copper acetate ammonia solution method 

The natural gas production report 

Split Infinitives 

The split infinitive, in which "to" is separated from 

its verb by an adverb (or by several other words), is 

generally awkward and unnecessary. It is justified, 

however, if (1) placing the adverb before the "to" or 

after the verb causes a more cumbersome construction or (2) the result otherwise is ambiguous: 

"Our intent is to further strengthen the embankment" is much 

better than the ambiguous revision, "Our intent is further to 

strengthen the embankment." (Further intent, or further 

strengthen?) 

Don" thesitate to gglit ran infinithe tn avoid ambiguity 

or to imprnrs the flow of :I scnkncs, but infinitives in 

many manuscriyts arc split rr-ithaut ramon, and rno* 

such sentences thus lose cnlphasis; 

To elwly xccumdate [to aw~trn~~lak dowly, and m have slnwIy 

a~~crrnLIl~i~.d} 

To nolcntlg arrrpt [to erupt vi~lentl~, hl net 5i;jalmtly trr empll 

It was diiricdt tP> lacxllp distirrgujzh one ta bnrn nmocher. 

{Lacdy. il. aw daeult to ~!i%linflidb ' *.) 

"Caribbean Plate Steering Group." 

146 Excessively long unit modifiers 
Terminal Prepositions 

Some writers studiously avoid placing prepositions 

at the ends of sentences to the extent that their 

phrasing becomes stilted and unidiomatic. Most 

terminal prepositions can be avoided gracefully by 

recasting, but recasting an already adequate sentence 

may be more trouble than most writers are willing to 

put up with. Fowler (1965, p. 473-475), in fact, 

devoted nearly a page and a half defending terminal 

prepositions and cited many examples of their 

appropriate use. The chief objection to ending a 

sentence with a preposition is that a place of 

emphasis in the sentence is lost to a weak or 

unimportant word. 

Repetition and Synonyms 

Appropriate word choice is essential to clarity. If a 

word has two (or more) possible meanings (many 

have); avoid using it for both in the same paragraph 

or in nearby paragraphs. Avoid homonyms. A short 

word is better than a long one if it has the same 

nuance, and repeating a short, familiar word is less 

distracting to the reader than repeating a long or uncommon one. Substituting a synonym may be appropriate, but the writer should not resort to elegant 

variation just to avoid repetition; unless the synonymy 

is obvious the reader may be diverted from the main 

thought. In technical writing, precise terms should be 

repeated for clarity and emphasis. If one term is 

substituted for another, the reader is temporarily 

distracted, as in the following example: "Andesine 

and augite, the essential minerals, are usually found 

in the proportion of 3 of the plagioclase to 1 of the 

pyroxene." The reader is forced to equate andesine 

with plagioclase and augite with pyroxene. Revise the 

sentence to avoid the substitution: "The proportion of 

the essential minerals is usually 3 andesine to 1 

augite." 

Acronyms 

Acronyms are troublesome for most readers and 

should be avoided. If an acronym is widely understood 

(radar, sonar, NATO, NASA) its use may be acceptable, but some reports are loaded with obscure acronyms that few readers can keep straight. Saving 

space is insufficient justification for a loss of clarity. 

Well-known acronyms or abbreviations are appropriate in Survey reports for often-repeated names of 

organizations and the like but not for geographic 

names or geologic terms. The Survey, for example, 

disapproves of UWTB for Utah-Wyoming Thrust Belt 

or QFS for quartzo-feldspathic schist. 

Ten Steps Toward Clarity 

1. Be concise. 

Delete needless words. 

2. Choose the right word carefully. 

Favor the short word over the long. 

3. Do not needlessly repeat words, phrases, 

or ideas. 

Do repeat what is needed for clarity. 

4. Favor the active voice over the passive. 

5. Be specific. 

Use concrete terms; avoid abstract 

nouns (shun "tion"). 

6. Avoid dangling modifiers. 

Place modifiers as near as possible to 

what they modify. 

7. Take care in the placement of parenthetical phrases. 

8. Avoid shifts in subject, number, tense, 

voice, or viewpoint. 

9. Express parallel thoughts through 

parallel construction. 

10. Arrange thoughts logically. 

Work from the simple to the more 

complex. 

Conciseness 

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph should contain no unnecessary sentences, 

for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary 

lines and a machine no unnecssary parts. 

William Strunk 

Insecurity about subject matter sometimes leads to 

wordiness, but a flood of words will not hide technical 

inadequacies. Know your subject before you start to 

write, then get to the point. George Otis Smith, 

fourth Director of the U.S. Geological Survey, was a 

champion of plain language. In 1921, he addressed the 

following plea: 

This brings me to a third reason for our use of highly technical 

language; we too often try to overdress our thoughts. Just as there 

is a somewhat prevalent notion that clothes make the man, so we 

subconsciously believe that words make the idea. We follow the 

precept, "To be scientific, use scientific terms," and in so doing we 

deceive ourselves. I do not wish to be unduly autobiographic in this 

analysis, but to show my true sympathy for those whose practices I 

denounce, I confess that I, too, have had the unhappy experience of 

stripping the technical words from what looked lie a good-sized 

geological deduction only to find that the naked idea was rather 

small and not my own. It is also a common experience to make the 

sad discovery that a piece of involved and obscure writing is simply 

the product of roundabout reasoning or twisted thinking. Our own 

words fool us, and unconsciously we cover up with long words or 

tangled rhetoric our lack of plain thinking. 

Conciseness 
The attitudes of a society are reflected in its 

writing styles, and our fast-paced society has little 

time for stylistic niceties. The following statement 

met standards of style in 1921, but most readers 

today would find it boring, if not foolish: "So keen 

were his observational powers in the geological direction that he was finally inveigled into deserting the 

purely scientific realm which he had so auspiciously 

entered in Brazil, Iowa, Illinois, and Kansas, and on 

the Hayden surveys in Idaho, Wyoming, Colorado, 

and New Mexico, and into expending his superior 

powers on the more remunerative economic aspects." 

Simpler language would be more appropriate today: 

"He was a highly talented, widely traveled research 

geologist, but the promise of financial gain lured him 

from research into industry." Ideas should not be 

overly compressed, but to convey ideas clearly and 

directly, the writer should scrupulously eliminate 

unnecessary words. 

Expletives 

In grammar, expletives are filler words or phrases 

such as "There are" and "It is" that substitute for 

the real subject of a sentence or for the object of the 

verb. Expletives put the real subject into a subordinate place in the sentence, generally add words 

needlessly, and hence generally weaken the vigor and 

clarity of your writing. They can project an informality, however, that sometimes is desired. 

Gunning's Fog Index 

Several years ago Gunning (1968) devised a "fog 

index" as a test of readability and as a way to see 

where your own writing stands against the writing of 

others. Slightly modified here, the fog index is simply 

a factoring of sentence length and word length, ignoring intangibles such as grammar and rhetoric. It 

shows how sentence length and word length directly 

affect comprehension-the longer the sentence and its 

words, the harder they are to read. An index of 8 

equals an 8th grade reading level; 12 equals 12th 

grade or high-school senior level. Try it out, using 

several sentences or paragraphs taken at random 

from your own report. 

First, measure the average length of sentences in 

the passage by dividing the number of words in the 

passage by the number of sentences. Independent 

clauses-joined by "and," "but," some other conjunction, or a semicolon-should be counted as separate 

sentences. 

Next, find the percentage of "hard words" by 

counting the number of words per 100 containing 

three or more syllables. Unusual acronyms and abbreviations should be counted as hard words. Don't 

count capitalized nouns, and don't count verb forms 

that have three syllables merely because they end 

with suffixes "ed" or "es" (such as "disgusted" or 

"sentences"). Use your own judgment about 

hyphenated words. 

Finally, get the fog index by just adding the average number of words per sentence to the percentage 

of hard words and multiplying by 0.4 as follows: 

F=0.4x(l+h) 

where 

F is the fog index, 

1 is the average length of sentences, and 

h is the percentage of hard words. 

An index of 13 or more means that your copy 

exceeds the danger line of reading difficulty for most 

readers in the general public. Copy with a fog index 

of 13 or more runs the risk of being ignored or misunderstood by many people. Popular reports shoilld 

range near 12. (The first two paragraphs of this section have an index of 12.) Table 6 below compares 

Gunning's fog index with various reading levels. 

Table 6. The fog index by reading level 

Reading level FOP 

ind& By grade By magazine 

17 College graduate 16 College senior Most technical reports 15 College junior in this range but no 14 College sophmore popular magazines 13 College freshman 

Danger line for most readers 

12 High-school senior "Atlantic Monthly" 

11 "Time" and "Newsweek" 

10 "Reader's Digest" 9 High-school freshman Po ular magazines off 

8 8th grade tie rack 

7 7th grade "True Confessions" 

6 6th grade Comics 

Many passages in technical journals exceed 20. 

Some abstracts reach 30, and at that level are hard 

reading, even for the professional peers of their 

authors. The following excerpt from a Survey Professional Paper has a fog index of about 14 and is fairly 

easy going. Polysyllables are italicized. 

The Phosphoria Formation accumulated in a large shelving embayment bordered by lands of low relief that contributed little &tritus 

to the sea. Cold, phosphate-rich waters upwelled into this basin 

from the ocean reservoir to the south or southwest. Phosphorite 

was deposited from these ascending waters, probably in depths of 

1,000 to 200 meters, as their pH increased along with increase in 

temperature and decrease in partial pressure of C02. Carbonates 

were precipitated from these waters when they reached more 

shallow depths, at a somewhat higher pH. The phosphate-rich 

water nurtured a luxuriunt growth of phytoplankton, as well as 

148 Expletives 
higher forms of plant and animal life, some remains of which were 

concatrated with fine-grained materials in deeper waters away 

from shore. Part of the phosphate and probably some of the finegrained silica in the formation were concentrated by these 

organisms. 

Even if you are writing for a scholarly journal you 

will do well to pay attention to sentence lengths and 

polysyllables. If your intended readership is nontechnical (a "popular report"), try to judge its reading 

level in terms of table 6. 

COHERENCE IN THE REPORT 

Topic Sentences 

Coherence is essential at every level of a report, 

from the sentence to the paragraph, to the chapter, 

to the entirety. If the message is to reach the reader, 

ideas must follow a logical order that excludes extraneous thoughts. Transitional devices such as topic 

sentences help supply coherence by linking sentences 

and paragraphs together. These in turn are the 

building blocks of a coherent report. 

A unified paragraph contains a clearly defined topic 

sentence and the necessary supporting detail. (Note 

that the previous sentence is a topic sentence; it clues 

in the reader as to what will follow and at the same 

time puts a restriction on the subject matter.) If a 

topic sentence is too general, the paragraph will lack 

direction. If it is too specific, the paragraph will lack 

room to develop. Too many paragraphs in Survey 

reports have no topic sentence at all; they just string 

out the facts with little apparent connection-they are 

just aggregates of marginally related sentences. 

Most topic sentences are at the beginning of paragraphs, and that is where they belong, but some are 

placed at the end, where they serve either as summary statements or as transitions to the next paragraph. At the beginning a topic sentence should at 

least hint at what will follow, so the reader can anticipate the supporting details. This arrangement introduces the reader to the topic of each paragraph. A 

chapter may have a topic sentence also, or a topic 

paragraph. But if the paragraph starts out with specifics and ends with a summation-the deductive or 

who-done-it approach-the reader may fail to see the 

linkage or may have to regress and reread to see it. 

Paragraph Organization 

Besides having a topic sentence that defines the 

subject matter, each paragraph should be internally 

organized. Four major patterns are possible: (1) decreasing importance, (2) increasing importance, (3) 

time, and (4) place. A paragraph organized in terms 

of decreasing importance begins with the topic 

sentence, followed by a description of the evidence 

ranked from most to least significant. Conversely, the 

pattern of increasing importance builds the evidence 

to support the concluding topic sentence or 

summation. 

Much geologic writing is organized by time or place, 

such as studies focused on geologic time and studies 

that are site specific. The content of a paragraph cannot always be organized so easily, but the writer 

should aim for a coherent structure and a logical 

order. 

Paragraph Length 

Authors should cultivate a feeling for paragraph 

length. Many paragraphs are too long, commonly 

because of weak topic sentences. Paragraphs should 

be logical units of thought and should not be broken 

simply because of length, but if a paragraph extends 

over more than one manuscript page, its stated subject should be critically reexamined; the reader may 

be better served by a forceful introductory paragraph 

(a topic paragraph) and several subsequent paragraphs developing specific aspects of the subject. 

Several short paragraphs are easier to assimilate than 

a long one. Besides, readers need occasional breaks to 

collect their thoughts and catch their breath. The 

readers' comprehension is enhanced even more by a 

careful interweaving of long and short paragraphs 

joined by appropriate transitional devices to provide 

coherence. 

One-sentence paragraphs are suspect. If such a 

sentence-paragraph logically follows the paragraph 

that precedes it, you should see if it is more effective 

as part of th,at paragraph, or as part of the one that 

follows. One-sentence paragraphs are used occasionally to emphasize an idea or to serve as a transition 

between two otherwise unrelated paragraphs, and in 

rare instances such emphasis is justified, but before 

using a one-sentence paragraph as a transition, you 

should rethink the organizational structure. 

Transitions and Coherence 

Coherence is improved through the use of (1) transitional devices, (2) parallel constructions, and (3) key 

words. Transitions are designed to link ideas through 

the careful use of words, phrases, and sentences. 

Some overzealous reviewers eliminate what they 

perceive as extraneous verbiage by deleting transitions that are needed for coherence. Transitions cannot solve every problem of coherence, but they can 

help the writer make logical connections between 

ideas whose relation is not otherwise apparent to the 

reader. Some useful transitional words are listed at 

the top of the next page. 

Coherence in the report 149 
Addition: additionally, again, also, and, besides, 

equally important, finally, further, furthermore, in 

addition, last, moreover, next. 

Comparison: also, in comparison, in like manner, 

likewise, similarly, too. 

Concession: admittedly, although, granted, of course, 

to be sure, true, given that. 

Conclusion: finally, in any event, in conclusion, to 

conclude. 

Contrast: but, however, nevertheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary, on the other hand, still, 

whereas, yet. 

Emphasis: as has been stated, as I have said, chiefly, 

indeed, in fact, in other words, in particular, most 

important, note that. 

Example: as an illustration, for example, for 

instance, specifically, such as, that is. 

Place: adjacent, behind, beyond, by, elsewhere, here, 

in the background, near, on the other side, opposite, there. 

Result: accordingly, as a result, consequently, hence, 

therefore, thus, so. 

Summary: in brief, in other words, in short, in summary, to sum up. 

Time: afterward, at length, after [some period of 

time], before, during, immediately, in the meantime, later, meanwhile, soon, until. 

Parallel constructions (p. 144) add coherence within 

a sentence or a paragraph by tightly relating coordinate ideas. Related words, phrases, and clauses 

need similar vocabulary, structure, and logic. 

Key words repeated from one sentence to the next 

or from the end of one paragraph to the beginning of 

the next help connect related ideas. Synonyms do not 

serve that purpose, and if they are used as word substitutes, take care to avoid derailing the reader; make 

sure their connection is clear. The personal pronouns 

I, you, he, she, it, we, and they are effective substitutes for nouns, but they rarely function well as key 

words. The demonstrative adjectives this, that, these, 

and those can point back to particular nouns if their 

antecedents are unmistakable. 

Most verbs in -ize are inelegant. Sir Alan Herbert has compared 

them to lavatory fittings, useful in their proper place but not to be 

multiplied beyond what is necessary for practical purposes. 

H. w. Fowler 

English is a dynamic language, and change has 

always been inherent in its growth. Not all change, 

however, improves the language. Some writers, especially in the media, the military, and the bureaucracy, 

introduce new word forms whether they are needed 

or not, often out of sloth, and the resulting proliferation seldom enhances either the richness of the language or its clarity. "Destruct" is a pitiable example 

from the space program. "Input" and "access," both 

as verbs, are two of many contributions from computer language where perhaps they should remain. So, 

also the verb "keyboard." Many long-standing nouns 

used in Survey reports are unacceptable as verbs, and 

although some may gain acceptance through long use, 

the Survey is not an appropriate agent for their nurture. Many will vanish unassisted from the idiom. 

Some such verbs are formed by affiing "ize" to the 

noun or adjective-words such as "prioritize" (ugh). 

Thousands of standard words (crystallize, itemize, 

digitize), as well as some abominations (finalize), have 

thus entered the language. "Finalize" became fashionable in the 19601s, over spirited opposition from wordsmiths. Survey authors can hardly judge what current 

coinages deserve to survive. Rather, authors should 

heed the advice of "The American Heritage Dictionary" (Second College Edition), regarding the suffix 

~6-i~~~: "New coinages of this sort should be used 

with great caution until they have passed the tests of 

utility, permanence, and acceptance by good writers." 

Recently coined words ending in "ize" are not alone 

among offensive verbs; new creations appear often in 

the earth sciences. "Young," for example, is a good 

adjective but an unacceptable verb, and to write that 

something "youngs to the east" will offend most 

readers. One author described rocks that "had been 

boudinaged" during regional deformation. Similarly, 

"contact metamorphism" is a recognized geologic 

process, but its acceptability as a noun does not 

justify its use as a verb: "The magma contactmetamorphosed the igneous rock." The favorite 

abomination of one Survey editor is "complexify" but, 

except right here, it is not likely to see print in a 

Survey publication. 

Simply using nouns as verbs can obfuscate clarity 

also. For example, the headline "CHINA PROTESTS 

FUEL REFORM DEBATE" has two possible unrelated meanings. The unsuspecting reader is sure to 

take "PROTESTS" to be the verb and read the sentence accordingly, but the intended verb is "FUEL," 

which is likely to be taken as a noun. "PROTESTS," 

meant to be a plural noun, is the intended subject, 

whereas the apparent subject, "CHINA," is meant 

to be a proper adjective modifying the noun "PROTESTS." Now reread the sentence and catch its real 

meaning. 

Authors should also avoid usages that distort the 

true meanings of words and that thereby rob the 

150 Coined verbs 
language of its clarity and acuity. Students of plate During this epoch aggradattion of the lowlands may have 

tectonics have seized "collide" and "collision" to transpired men aggraded]. 

signify processes that bear little relationship to the Thus a sud&en inundation of the desert would [suddenly] be ac- true meaning of the words. We, alas, are probably mplished [inundated]. stuck with continental "collisions." but such portrayals can only cause confusion in the minds of Capitalization of the initial letters of formal geologic names 

laymen. Disneyesque depictions aside, truer if less mave been capitalized] was adopted by the Survey in [since] 

colorful meanings would be conveyed by "join," 1961. 

"merge," "converge," "contact," "abut," "press Modifiations may be made to existing formal names [may be 

against, " "occlude, " or "override." modified] if evidence is presented in a published report. 

The movement of the ore solutions here must have been [moved] ABSTRACT NOUNS INTHE SUBJECT OF THE SENTENCE very S~OW@~]. 

Abstract nouns are less offensive than newly coined 

"ize" verbs, but they are more pervasive, and their 

widespread use is among the commonest and most 

crippling stylistic faults in technical writing. In particular, turning active verbs into abstract nouns ending in "tion" puts the wrong word into the subject 

nominative and compels the writer to find a substitute 

verb-nearly always a weak one. Survey grammarian 

Frank Calkins used to admonish young writers to 

"shun tion." 

As a writer you should consider whether an 

abstract or a concrete noun makes a better subject 

and should decide which choice strengthens the verb. 

In the following examples, the writers have converted 

strong, active verbs into abstract nouns for their 

subjects and have been forced to substitute weak, 

inappropriate verbs for their predicates, such as 

"occurred," "accomplished," "transpired," or "performed." Delete the words in italic and add those in 

brackets: 

The mapping of the area was aecompliahed [mapped] by Smith 

and Jones. 

The principal production [Most of the ore] was mined from the 

Nevada property. (You cannot mine "production.") 

The exploration of the region was cud out [explored] by 

Smith. 

The f-ion of the ore deposits occurred [were formed] just 

after the igneous intrusions. (Or better yet: The ore was 

deposited just after the igneous rocks were intruded.) 

Confirmation of these reports cannot be obtained [confirmed]. 

The selection, equipmat, and maintenam of stream-gaging 

stations are perfmd [selected, equipped, and maintained] 

according to standard methods. 

The principal zcse of sheet mica is in the manufacture of [used 

principally in making] electrical apparatus. 

Ezamination of the prospect could not be made [examined]. 

Slippage may occur in association [be associated] with volcanic 

activity. (Better yet: Slippage may result from volcanic 

activity.) 

Because many mid-Paleozoic complexes are undeformed, it has 

been possible to obtain a reasonably good understanding of their 

tectonic setting [is reasonably well understood.] 

Comwion of the fractal dimension would be done [computed] 

in the Branch of Geophysics. 

Internal defmtion of the Moine rocks was accomplished 

[were deformed] primarily by northwest-directed ductile 

thrusting. 

Other limes of evidence for the weakness of fracture zones come 

from geologic studies. (Change to: Geologic studies yield other 

evidence for .) 

Abstract nouns in the subject of the sentence 151 
In the sentence "Barite and intense silicification 

usually always accompany the ore" the compound subject links together a mineral, which perhaps accompanied the ore, and a process, which ended long ago. 

Change "intense silicification" to "intensely silicified 

rock." Whatever idea the writer had in mind by 

"usually always," the expression is objectionable, and 

the conditions would be better described by deleting 

"always." 

Some writers seem to forget their subject before 

they finish the sentence. 

Its flow is large and is reported to be excellent for drinking. 

(The flow [of the spring] is so many gallons a minute; it is the 

water, not the flow, that is excellent.) 

The "rimrock," which surrounds Billings, Park City, and the 

intermediate area, is the popular designation for this scarp. (A 

"designation" cannot surround an area. There is more than one 

way to correct this sentence; it might be rewritten "This scarp, 

which surrounds * *, is popularly called the rimrock.") 

The average thickness of the shale partings is about 1 millimeter. but is extremely variable. (How could an average be 

variable? Write "The thickness * * averages about 1 millimeter but is extremely variable.") 

Muscovite is possibly unstable in the presence of hornblende 

and occurs as biotite, plagioclase, and quartz. (Wow!) 

Although the rock has been greatly altered by weathering, the 

decomposition is believed [to be] rather superficial and is 

regarded as affording entirely adequate foundations. (Decomposition seems hardly an "adequate" foundation for a dam.) 

The principal granite district of this group of States is at 

Salida, Chaffee County, and is sold for monumental stone. (The 

granite, not the district, is sold.) 

The French deposits have been largely Government owned and 

have been sold through the German-French cartel. (It is the 

potash mined from the deposits that has been sold, not the 

deposits.) 

Cattle, poisoned by selenium-rich foliage, prompted scientists of 

the Department of Agriculture to investigate * *. 

A phrase that qualifies or relates to the subject 

applies until a new subject is introduced, but in many 

sentences such a phrase is inadvertently applied to an 

unrelated part of the sentence. 

For full development the tree seems to require considerable 

water and probably deserves its reputation as an indicator of 

underground water. (The phrase "for full development" does 

not apply to the second clause and should be transposed after 

"considerable water.") 

The individual grains in the coarser limestone are as much as a 

millimeter in diameter and average 0.02 millimeter in the finer 

grained beds. (Write "The individual grains * * are as much 

as a millimeter in diameter, but those in the finer grained beds 

average 0.02 millimeter.") 

Its generally dark color is somewhat somber for building stone 

but makes a very substantial structure. (The dark color does 

not affect its durability. Put a comma after "building stone" 

and insert "the rock" after "but.") 

During the summer a pool of water forms on the ice and 

gradually freezes again during the winter. (Change to read: A 

pool of water forms on the ice during the summer and gradual. 

ly refreezes during the winter.) 

No lead and manganese were reported in these analyses and 

were evidently negligible. (One can assume that "no lead and 

manganese" would be negligible. Write "Lead and manganese 

were not reported in these analyses.") 

Very little sulfide is present in the main ore shoot, but it is 

abundant along the margins. (It is sulfide, not "very little 

sulfide," that is abundant. Write "Sulfide is scarce in the main 

ore shoot but is abundant along the margins.") 

Many compound or complex sentences switch ineptly from the active voice to the passive in midsentence. 

For clarity, continuity, and parallelism the voices of 

verbs should be the same: 

Surface water percolates downward until [it reaches] the zone 

of saturation is reached. 

These vugs carry no gold and [do not affect] the tenor of the 

vein has not been affected by th. 

The workings were closed and examination of th could not be 

made [examined]. 

The rocks show both bedding and cleavage, but the amnt of 

[not much] metamorphism has not gone far. (Also, delete the 

comma.) 

Alliteration, the repetition of initial word sounds, 

may have a positive impact on the reader but is more 

likely to draw attention from the substance of the 

message to the style. A few egregious examples: 

Larger and longer lived lakes 

Famous fossil-fish formation 

Crustal movements that crushed and crumpled 

Further fissuring, faulting, and fracturing 

Well-waterworn polygonous pebbles 

Low-lying lands that lie 

Shattered and scattered through the shale 

Saturated silts sliding slowly seaward 

Somewhat similar series of sediments 

152 Forgetting your subject 
Loose language is appropriate in some contexts, but 

the greater precision of tight wording is better for 

technical reports. A few examples: 

Loose 

a number of 

accountable for 

essentially 

evidenced 

grows 

improve 

in case of 

in the vicinity of, 

in the neighborhood of 

majority 

open, close 

over, under 

provided, provided that 

ranges up to 

various 

Tight 

several, a few 

the cause of 

principally, mostly 

showed, indicated 

becomes 

increase 

if 

about, near, nearly 

most 

begin, end 

more than, less than 

if 

is as much as 

many, several 

Commonly heard redundancies are sometimes used 

unthinkingly, as follows: 

actual measurement 

advance planning 

age dating 

bisect into two parts 

completely absent 

completely surrounded 

down dropped 

downward direction 

dropped down 

erroneous misconception 

feeling of euphoria 

first began 

first initiated 

green in color 

join together 

metric unit of measure 

low-lying depression 

originally of * * * origin 

preliminary preparations 

refer back 

relative proportion 

repeated repetition 

Rio Grande River 

rise up, sink down 

Sierra Nevada Mountains 

surrounded on all sides 

throughout the entire 

underground cavern 

Perhaps you can add more examples from your own 

list. 

Idiomatic expressions are word groupings that are 

unique to a language or culture. Some cannot be 

explained logically, but they are part of conventional 

usage. A few common prepositional idioms are listed 

below: 

Compare: x with y (similar things), x to y (different 

things) 

Conform: to practice, to a design; conformable to, in 

conformity with 

Contrast (verb): x with y 

Contrast (noun): between x and y; x placed in contrast with y 

Correspond: to (things), with (persons) 

Differ: An object differs from another object, a person differs with something or someone ("I beg to 

differ with you.") 

Different: from (not than) 

Independent: of (not from) 

Overlain: by (not with) 

Foreign words are unlikely to add anything to a 

scientific report that is not better expressed and 

understood in English. Many readers, perhaps most, 

cannot translate or define "viz," "i.e.," "e.g.," and 

"et al." "In place" is generally better than "in situ." 

"Etc." is meaningless in most constructions and is 

improper in the following examples: 

Deposits of this type occur in several mines-for example, the 

Telegraph, Commercial, [and] Old Jordan, etc. 

The solution contained mineralizers, such as fluorine, [and] 

boron, etc. (Delete the comma after "fluorine.") 

The glacial features that give variety to the surface, such as 

moraines, kames, [and] eskers, etc., are described. 

On the other hand, a few foreign words that have 

no appropriate English equivalents have been adopted 

as technical terms-words such as artite, bajada, boudinage, couloir, felsenmeer, inselberg, lahar, moulin, 

and roche moutonn6e. 

VOGUE WORDS AND TRITE PHRASES 

Vogue expressions intended to enliven reports or 

add sophistication may have the opposite effect. 

Through overuse they lose effectiveness; even worse, 

they may foster subconscious antagonisms, or by leaping from the page, may distract the reader's attention 

from the thoughts that the author hoped to convey. 

Though some vogue words may endure, the writer of 

scientific reports is hardly the proper judge of idiomatic trends. Trite words and phrases, such as "timeframe," "viable," "point in time," "might well be," 

"window of opportunity," and "impact" (in some connotations as a verb), will pass out of use, and we can 

rejoice in their passing, but we must be on guard 

against new ones springing forth. "Model" has 

become a prevalent substitute for "conjecture" or 

"postulate"-the working hypothesis of times past is 

the working model of today. "Metastable," from 

Vogue words and trite phrases 153 
physical chemistry, has been adopted by geomorphologists. "Powerful tool" had a spate of fashion among 

earth scientists in the 1980's. If you suspect that a 

word is trite, it surely is. 

STILTED AND SHOWY LANGUAGE 

Some authors seem to believe that writing is 

enhanced by obscure phrasing and that the best 

means to that end is stilted and showy language, 

what George Otis Smith called "the wordy sins of 

scientists." These authors never "go" anywhere; they 

invariably "proceed." Rather than "start" new projects, they "initiate" them. They "encounter" fossils, 

"inaugurate" new programs, and "conduct" field 

trips. The engineer who remarked that "Repairs are a 

very manually intensive effort," meant that they must 

be done by hand. The mapper who wrote that "Contact relationships are poorly constrained due to talusblock slopes" meant that the contacts are covered 

with talus. 

Bernard H. Lane, in his revised and enlarged 

STA 4, noted that authors only occasionally recognize 

these faults in their own writing. (Faults are easier to 

see in the writing of others.) One writer changed 

"hydropneumatothermal contact action" to "hot solutions" in his own manuscript and thereby deprived his 

reviewer of the vicarious pleasure. 

Pedantic phrases in some technical reports seem 

designed to flaunt learning or to hide shortcomings by 

overwhelming the reader. Other sincere but misguided 

attempts at precision are likely to be seen as priggish 

distractions. If a choice can be made between a polysyllabic Latin derivative and a simple Anglo-Saxon 

word, between a long word and a short one, the latter 

is almost always more effective. Use the big word if 

it is precisely and uniquely right, but try to save your 

reader's train of thought and a needless trip to the 

dictionary. Use "palynomorphs" if you must, but if 

you are talking about pollen grains, say "pollen 

grains." In the words of one sage, eschew obfuscation. Economy in words serves two purposes: It 

enhances readability, and it cuts printing costs. If a 

word must be repeated, a short word diverts the 

reader's attention less than a long one. 

Here are a few stilted words, with suggested alternatives. As George Otis Smith once said, "It takes 

years for some geologists to break the fetters of this 

scholastic habit." 

abstruse phrases---- vague words 

allochthon -------------- upper plate 

appellation ------------- name approimate ----------- about 

arenaceous ------------- sandy 

ar0-u ------------ shaly 

autochthon------------- lower plate 

conduct ------------------ lead do 

congeliturbation----- frost action 

display ------------------- show 

employ ------------------- use 

exhibit ------------------- show 

ignimbrite -------------- welded tuff 

inaugurate, 

initiate ---------------- start begin 

interdigitate --------- interfinger limited ------------------ small few 

numerous ------------- many 

palynomorph -------- pollen grain pelite .................... clay 

pe- ------------------ read 

plichon --------------- fold 

pmmmite ------------- -&tone 

psephite---------------- conglomerate 

riparian border----- riverbank 

secure, obtain------- get 

terrestrial 

gastropod ---------- land snail 

trans& ---------------- cut across 

verge .................... bend t- 9 7 

move 

CARE WITH METAPHORS ANDSIMILES 

Samuel Goldwyn, late master of the neatly turned 

phrase, once said that anyone who makes atom bombs 

is fooling with dynamite. He also said that people who 

visit psychiatrists should have their heads examined. 

Metaphors and similes used sparingly may add meaning and color to some scientific reports, but they must 

be used with care: "carpeted with grass," yes, "carpeted with boulders," no; and like fine old scotch, 

they should not be mixed. 

Ascribing human traits or feelings to inanimate 

objects-what Ruskin called the "pathetic fallacy"-is 

inappropriate in scientific reports. Mountains neither 

enjoy uplift nor suffer degradation, tides are never 

restless, and skies are never angry, at least not in 

reports of the USGS. 

154 Stilted and showy language 
Variations of the pronoun "he" are unacceptable to 

many people when referred collectively to both masculine and feminine genders and should be avoided in 

that context in Survey reports. The noun "geologist," 

for example, has no implied gender-it may be either 

masculine or feminine-but "he" is inherently masculine, despite the remonstrations of some grammarians. 

"He" can be avoided gracefully by careful grammatical construction. Contrived, tricky artifices to cover 

both genders should be avoided: Helshe, she or he, 

she, hishers, his or hers, himlher and him-or-her 

sometimes appear in technical reports, but they tend 

to distract or annoy the reader, especially if used 

repeatedly. Moreover, by making curt little bows to 

feminism, they are condescendingly sexist (Johnson, 

1983). 

Sexist pronouns can be avoided in various ways. In 

the following examples the bracketed words should 

be added; the italicized words or letters should be 

deleted. 

1. Use plurals instead of singulars: 

Before beginning to write the authofls] should familiarize 

himself [themselves] with the literature. 

2. Change the person of the subject and pronoun 

from third person (he) to second (you); second person may be inappropriate in technical reports, but 

it often is useful in nontechnical writing: 

Before beginning to write the author [you] should 

familiarize himself [yourself] with the literature. 

3. Use the imperative mood; the imperative serves 

the same purpose as second person but more 

forcefully: 

The author should [Be] familiarize himself with the 

literature before beginning to write. 

4. Change the voice of the verb from active to passive. The passive voice should not be overdone, 

but its occasional use can have a positive effect on 

the reader: 

Change this To this 

An author should not think An author should not think 

that because he has studied that because all the rocks of 

thin sections of all the rocks a district have been studied 

of a district it is necessary to in thin section, exhaustive 

publish exhaustive descrip- descriptions must be 

tions of them. published. 

The recast version, by switching to the passive 

voice, has fewer words and the added virtue of 

parallel construction. It does not spec@, however, 

that the author studied the sections. Some advantages and disadvantages of the passive voice are 

discussed on page 142. 

5. Insert a participle: 

The author may follow the same procedure before he turns 

[turning] the report in for review. 

6. Simply omit the offending words where the meaning is clear without them and recast the sentence, 

substituting applicable articles for pronouns and 

deleting other unneeded words: 

In this section are outlined[s] the successive steps that an 

author wiU normally follow[ed] in planning and writing his 

[a] report, beginning when an investigation is authorized 

and ending with his final review. [Included are] suggestions are also offered that he may find [be] useful at 

different stages. 

Procedure 6 also has the merit of yielding tighter, 

crisper writing (34 words instead of 44). 

Ellipsis, the omission of words where the reader 

is expected to understand the meaning without 

them, can tighten and freshen style or obscure 

the meaning. Use ellipsis to avoid distractive repetitions, but be careful to avoid ambiguities or 

illiteracies. 

Many good writers use ellipsis instinctively. In 

"Much Ado About Nothing," "The fashion wears out 

more apparel than the man," the Bard's meaning 

is perfectly clear without repeating "wears out" or 

adding "does," but in the following sentence, 

"Fred was more interested in the fossils than his 

wife [was]," the bracketed verb is needed for 

clarity. 

Conversely, studied avoidance of ellipsis is fairly 

common in Survey manuscripts, probably in the mistaken belief that clarity is thereby gained. In the 

sentence, "Graphs present some kinds of data more 

concisely than does any other format," the word 

"does" adds little more than awkwardness to the 

sentence. "Does" would be less awkward if it 

followed "format," but its presence there is not 

needed for clarity. 

Ellipsis 155