As we age and live longer, financial, legal, health 

care and long term care issues affect families, not 

just individuals. The Eldercare Locator produced 

this guide to help families “face the facts” about 

these important topics to discuss with aging parents. 

The overview below addresses some key areas of 

concern, suggested questions to ask, and ways in 

which families might initiate conversations about 

these often difficult to discuss topics with their 

aging parents. 

KEY CONSIDERATIONS 

1. Find out what financial benefits are

provided by your parents’ Social Security

and pension. Determine if they are eligible

for other financial programs.

2. Ensure that each family member has a

living will. Know where all your parents’

insurance policies, wills, trust documents,

tax returns, investment and banking records

are located.

3. Investigate what type of long term care

insurance coverage may be best for your

parents or for yourself! Generally,

premiums are lower when policies are

purchased at younger ages.

4. Identify what community services are

available that can help your parents

maintain independence in the home for as

long as possible. Learn whether housing

options are available to meet their changing

needs.

5. Family members may not understand how

their parents’ estate planning could impact

their own financial status as well as that of

their children.

FINANCIAL ORGANIZATION 

There are many financial resources that your 

loved one might already be receiving or be 

eligible for. Social Security is the federal 

program that provides retirees a regular income 

based on work history, and benefits to disabled 

workers. Long-time workers usually have 

pensions that are retirement compensation plans 

either fully managed by the employer, or 

involve employee contributions, such as TaxDeferred Annuities (TDAs) or Individual 

Retirement Accounts (IRAs). Some people have 

“lost” a pension they earned, while others forget 

about a retirement account set up many years

prior. Low-income and disabled individuals age 

65 or older could also be eligible for monthly 

cash benefits through Supplemental Security

Income (SSI). members may not understand 

how their parents’ estate planning could impact 

their own financial status as well as that of their

children. 

Ask... 

• Are there house repairs or modifications

needed that will help you, such as

installing bathtub railings, an

emergency response system, or other

assistive devices?

• Do you need assistance with

housekeeping, shopping or personal

care activities?

• If you become homebound, would you

need home-delivered meals?

• Do you need transportation? What

services are available in your

community?

Face the Facts: 

Topics to Discuss Now with Your Aging Parents
LEGAL PREPARATION 

Wills and power of attorney may not be topics 

your relatives want to discuss; however, these 

issues need to be addressed before it’s too late 

to make sure that their assets are properly 

taken care of and that their medical treatment 

preferences are known. A will directs how a 

person wants property to be distributed after 

death and appoints a trusted person to be the 

executor; and a durable power of attorney 

provides written authorization for a person 

you name to act on your behalf for whatever 

financial or health care purpose you spell out. 

An advance directive is a legal document that 

provides directions for your health care if you 

are unable to speak for yourself. 

ASK... 

• Do you have a will?

• Have you executed a durable power of

attorney or considered who you might

want to handle your finances or

health care decisions in the event

that you are unable to so?

• Are important legal documents up to

date and where are they kept?

• What other legal matters are you

concerned about?

HEALTH INSURANCE 

Health care is a high-cost necessity, so it is 

crucial to know what is available to meet your 

family member’s needs, and what they are 

eligible to receive. Most adults over age 65 are

covered by Medicare, the federal health 

insurance program that helps pay medical 

expenses for older Americans and younger 

people with disabilities. However, Medicare 

does not cover all needs, such as long term care 

including nursing homes or extended care, and 

Supplemental Insurance (also called Medigap 

insurance) might be necessary to cover 

additional health costs. Medicaid, on the other 

hand, is the federal and state insurance program 

that helps pay the health care costs of lowincome individuals of any age. Long-term care 

insurance is available through the private 

market to assist individuals to cover the cost of 

long-term care services such as home health and 

nursing home care.

ASK... 

• As your health status changes, are you

prepared to meet your long term health

care needs?

• Do you have proper health insurance

 coverage (not too much or too little)? 

• Are you comfortably able to pay for

prescription drugs and other out-of

pocket health care costs?

• Who are your doctors and how can they

be contacted?

• Where do you keep your insurance card,

Medicare information, and other

important health care documents?

COMMUNITY SERVICES 

One of the most useful forms of help that adult 

children can provide for their parents is 

information about community resources that are 

available to enhance their independence. 

Services like home modification are available to 

help reduce the risk of accidents and make daily 

household activities more comfortable to 

perform. There are many community resources 

to help older persons by providing information 

or a needed service. Find out about these and 

other services available through your state, area 

agencies on aging, and local aging services 

providers by contacting the Eldercare Locator at 

1-800- 677-1116 or http://www.eldercare.gov. 
ASK... 

• Are there house repairs or modifications

needed that will help you, such as

installing bathtub railings, an

emergency response system, or other

assistive devices?

• Do you need assistance with

housekeeping, shopping or personal

care activities?

• If you become homebound, would you

need home-delivered meals?

• Do you need transportation? What

services are available in your

community?

CONVERSATION APPROACHES 

Prepare to be open, honest and not 

argumentative when discussing these topics 

with your elderly loved ones and have some 

knowledge about the topics you’re talking 

about. Below are some approaches you can 

take, depending on the personality of the care 

recipient:

• Direct: If the care recipient is a ‘nononsense, get-to-the-point’ personality,

openly express your concerns and ask

questions for information you need to

address specific situations that might

arise.

• Educational: For the relative who might

need a delicate push, you might begin

by sharing an experience of another

caregiver you know about their own

personal situation, and explain how it

made you realize the importance of

discussing issues now that will help you

be of better assistance to them in the

future.

• Expert: For the relative who refuses to

talk about personal issues or tends to

accuse their children of trying to take 

control of their life, seek to make them 

the expert by asking for their advice 

about a particular issue — for example, 

“what type of long term care plan 

should I look into,” or “can you 

recommend someone to help me prepare 

my will.” This strategy is nonthreatening and could lead to them 

sharing personal details, or at least 

letting you know where they stand on 

the subject. 

RESOURCES 

Eldercare Locator 

http://www.eldercare.gov

1-800-677-1116 

Social Security Administration 

http://www.ssa.gov 

1-800-772-1213 

Medicare 

http://www.medicare.gov

1-800-Medicare 

National Clearinghouse for Long-Term 

Care Information 

http://www.longtermcare.gov 

American Bar Association - Commission on 

Law and Aging 

http://www.americanbar.org/groups/law_a

ging.html 

Pension Rights Center 

http://www.pensionrights.org/

For more information about ACL 

U.S. Department of Health and Human 

Services, Administration for Community 

Living, Washington DC 20201 

Phone: (202) 619 – 0724 

Fax: (202) 357 – 3555 

Email: ACLinfo@acl.hhs.gov

Web: http://www.aoa.gov