Civility in the 21st Century Workplace

Daniel Buccino

Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center 

Johns Hopkins University

School of Medicine

October 2015

Copyright © 2015 DLBuccino

All copyright 2015 DLBuccino. 

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Disclamer

 I am on the staff of the Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center and 

on the faculty of the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.

 I am on the clinical faculties of the University of Maryland School of 

Social Work and the Smith College School for Social Work.

 I am Founder and Director of the Baltimore Psychotherapy 

Institute and am Past-Chairman of the Maryland Board of Social 

Work Examiners.

 I am an Associate, Advisor, and Certified Trainer of the 

International Center for Clinical Excellence and Director of the 

Johns Hopkins Civility Initiative.

 I (sadly...) receive no industry sponsorship and have no conflicts of 

interest to report. 

 This workshop and all statements, handouts, communications and 

any attached documents represent the originator's personal views 

and opinions which do not necessarily reflect those of the 

aforementioned organizations.

All copyright 2015 DLBuccino. No 

reproduction without permission.
Johns Hopkins Universtiy

Civility Initiative

 2003 Baltimore Civility in the 

Workplace Survey

 2007 Baltimore Incivility Survey

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Civility Today

What is Civility?

Why is it Important? 

For You Personally, 

and for Your Agency?

How Can We Do it Better?

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Defining Civility

Civility is a form of benevolent 

awareness.

 Respect

 Restraint

 Consideration

“Obedience to the Unenforceable”

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Defining Civility

Civility

“allows disagreement to take 

place without violence.”

 Hall JA. (2013). The Importance of Being Civil. Princeton UP.

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Defining Civility

Civility

“If you want to be loved, then love 

and be lovable.” – Ben Franklin

“Be agreeable.” – PM Forni

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CIVILITY

 Politeness

 Respect

 Affirmation

 Morality

 Connection

 Accountability

 Assertiveness

 Good for Others

 Good for Business

 Secular Good 

 The Golden Rule

 Manners

 Tolerance

 Self-Restraint

 Focus

 Public Health

 Quality of Life

 Good for You

 Good for Health

 Spiritual Good

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Kids Reach Up

 Parents Don’t Reach Down.

 Parents Must Set The Example.

 Parents Are Parents Not Friends.

 Parents Don’t Argue With Teachers.

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CIVILITY Is...

 NOT about how you feel.

 About how you make others feel.

 About how you act (toward other 

people). 

 Politeness, courtesy, respect, good 

manners.

 NOT crude, rude, coarse, vulgar, 

tactless. Thanks to Stuart Schneiderman, Had Enough Therapy? Blog

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Getting Along

Everything about relationships is 

knowable.

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Getting Along

 Starts at The Family Table (and in 

the Office) (and Classroom)

 Family Dinner Socializes and Domesticates

 Establishes Routines

 Routines Build Trust

 Trust Establishes Intimacy

 Reinforces Reliability, Discipline, Restraint, 

Responsibility

 Requires Planning and Commitment

 Reduces (childhood) Obesity

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CIVILITY Is...

 Not always just kind and nice.

 Not just Not angry.

 Not full and open expression of feeling.

 Not glorified rudeness and spontaneous 

enthusiasm.

 Not getting in touch with feelings, whether warm 

and fuzzy, or angry and rude.

 Polite and respectful performance of social rituals.

 Decorous free speech.

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Planning = Character

-Spontaneity & Surprise ≠ Civility

-Kids Poor Advance Planners

-Make Others Comfortable

-“Rules of the Game (party)”

-Printed Invites, not just FB invites

-Helps the Other Parents Too

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CIVILITY Is...

 Speaking “to the right person, to the right extent, at 

the right time, with the right aim, and in the right 

way.”- Aristotle (again!) (eternal truths bear repeating) (right speaking)

 Chewing with your mouth closed, sending thank 

you notes.

 Formal gestures, rituals, ceremonies.

 Gestures of respect and restraint, eg. “my 

esteemed colleague.”

 Asserting openly that disagreements are not 

personal. Thanks to Stuart Schneiderman

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Simplicity

“It has long been an axiom of mine 

that the little things are infinitely the 

most important.”

-Sherlock Holmes

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Civility and Character

 Failing to control your emotions suggests you 

have weak character.

 Nothing to be proud of.

 Hypersensitivity to slights is a sign of low 

sense of honor, pride, and dignity.

 Thin-skinned self-respect is no self-respect.

 “He who strikes the 1st blow has lost the 

argument.” – Chinese Proverb

 Responsible, reliable, trustworthy, competent, 

& focused. – Confucian “Good Person”

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Civility and Character

 Good Character = Good Person = 

Good Employee.

 Competent and Cheerful.

 Conscientious.

 Able, Affable, and Available.

 Smart and Nice.

 Often, “nice guys finish first!”

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Civility and Ethics

 Cornerstone of all ethical systems:

 Principle of Respect for Persons

 We must treat others as ends in 

themselves, not as means toward our 

ends.

 Behavior informed by empathy.

 Good for others AND good for you.

 “Civility does the everyday busy work 

of goodness.” – PM Forni

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Manners of Respect

Remove hat in some houses of worship. 

Cover head in others.

Civility is the underlying wish to be 

respectful in all settings.

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Civility

 “The Good Life”: Relationships

 Purposeful Poise

 Relational Competence

 Expedient and Polite: Good for Business

 Altruism and Self-Interest: Good for You 

and Good for Others

 The Inner “Designated Driver”

 Sprezzatura and Bushido

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Civility and the New Humanism

 Humans are “social animals” who emerge out of relationships.

 Human Capital includes (not just IQ):

 Attunement (Openness to what others have to offer)

 Equipoise (Purposeful Poise) (monitor one’s 

biases)

 Metis (synthesize patterns in complex situations)

 Sympathy (empathy) (work in groups)

 Limerence (flow) (love for others, challenge of a task)

From David Brooks, The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, & Achievement, 2011 

All copyright 2015 DLBuccino. 

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US News: Civility Survey

(1996, 2013)

 89% of people 

interviewed said that it 

was a serious problem 

in today’s society. 

 90% of those same 

people said they were 

not personally rude.

 50% say it is 

extremely serious.

 78% said civility has 

deteriorated 

considerably over the 

past ten years.

 90% of those polled 

believe it contributes 

to the increasing 

violence in this 

country.

 85% believe it divides 

the national 

community.

 85% believe it 

contributes to eroding 

crucial values such as 

respecting others.

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The Multicultural Workplace

(The American workplace is the most diverse in the world.)

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 Labor: Most important, expensive, diverse, 

and perplexing asset. 

 >50% gross revenue across US = labor.

 4-5 Gens working at once: Traditionalists, 

Boomers, Gen X, Millennials

 2/3 undergrads women, 13/15 fastest 

careers women dominated, 11/15 in health 

care
The Multicultural Workplace

(The American workplace is the most diverse in the world.)

 90% Millennials use social media

 Major part of our communications 

landscape

 From speech to writing to typing to phone

to computers to e-mail to texts.

 

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Civility Cultures in Collision

-Millennials (18-30 y/o): “1st Language is 

Technology” 

-Check screens up to 500 times per day. 

-Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, 

Yelp, Vine, Pinterest, Snapchat, texts

-”e-mail is boring”

-Boomers (>50): Much less screen time

-Good or Bad? 

-Connected or Disconnected? 

From: Lassen CP. Civility in the networked age. Baltimore Sun. 6 Oct13

All copyright 2015 DLBuccino. 

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The Costs of Workplace Incivility:

The Perception of a Decline

 83% very important to work in a civil 

environment

 70% contemplated changing jobs

 25% said workplace less civil in the 

last 12 months

 37% decreased effort at work

 13% used health care / employee 

assistance benefits

Baltimore Workplace Civility Study 2003

From JHU/UB-JFI

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The Costs of Workplace Incivility:

The Perception of a Decline

From Porath C & Pearson C. Harvard Business Review. Jan-Feb 2013

 Polled 800 managers and employees 

in 17 industries, 2012

 80% lost work time worrying

 78% commitment to work declined

 66% performance declined

 63% lost work time

 48% intentionally decreased work effort

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The Costs of Workplace Incivility:

The Perception of a Decline

From Porath C & Pearson C. HBR. Jan-Feb 2013

 47% decreased time at work

 38% intentionally decreased quality of work

 25% admitted taking frustrations out 

on customers

 12% left job due to incivility

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Effects of Workplace Incivility

 Creativity Suffers

 Customers Turn Away

 Managing Incidents is Expensive

 Managing Diversity is Hard Enough

 Performance and Team Spirit 

Deteriorate

From Porath C & Pearson C. HBR. Jan-Feb 2013

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Examples of Workplace Incivility

 Interrupting others without care

 Not listening

 Disrupting meetings, inappropriate behavior at 

meetings

 Rumoring, gossiping about, or damaging a coworker’s reputation

 Perching impatiently over someone’s desk, 

waiting for undivided attention

From Envisonworks, Inc./PM Forni

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Examples of Workplace Incivility

“Forgetting” to share credit for collaborative 

work

 Asking for input and then discounting/ignoring it

 Keeping others awaiting access to 

information without recourse

 Over-ruling decisions without open, direct 

rationale

“Flaming”someone on e-mail

From Envisonworks, Inc./PM Forni

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The Costs of Workplace Incivility:

The Perception of a Decline

 $300 Billion/Year

 Annual Cost of U.S. Businesses of

Workplace Stress

-Absenteeism

-Loss of Productivity

-Turnover

-Medical Expenses

-Am. Psychological Assn/PM Forni

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What’s a Leader (Anyone?)

to Do

-Model Good Behavior

-Ask for Feedback

-Hire for Civility (Team interviews)

-Teach Civility

-Create Group Norms

-Reward Good Behavior

-Penalize Bad Behavior

-Exit Interviews

-Pay Attention to Progress From Porath C & Pearson C. HBR. Jan-Feb 2013

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The Terrible 10

10. Using cell-phones in midconversation or in a meeting (or the 

bathroom!).

9. Smoking in non-smoking areas, or 

near non-smokers without permission.

8. Misuse of handicapped privileges.

7. Littering (trash, spitting, pet waste).

6. Aggressive or bullying children.

JHU/UB JFI Baltimore Incivility Survey, 2007

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The Terrible 10

5. Jokes or remarks that mock race, age, 

gender, disability, sexual preference, 

religion.

4. Treating service providers as inferiors.

3. Taking credit for someone else’s 

work.

2. Road Rage: Dangerous, reckless, 

aggressive driving.

1. Discrimination in the Workplace.

JHU/UB JFI Baltimore Incivility Survey, 2007

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Diversity in the Workplace

DIVERSITY IS A PROCESS -- NOT AN 

EVENT

 Diversity is not the same as 

Affirmative Action

 Diversity includes Everyone

 Commitment to diversity means a 

commitment to all employees

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Risks of Diversity

1. Robert Putnam (Bowling Alone): E Pluribus 

Unum: Diversity and Community in the 21st

Century (2007).

2. From the many, one: Melting pot or 

patchwork quilt?

3. “Diversity can reduce social solidarity... 

diverse neighborhoods ‘hunker 

down’...trust lower...altruism and 

cooperation rarer...friends fewer...”

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Benefits of Diversity

1. Increased awareness will bring greater respect 

and consideration for all employees.

2. Morale will increase when everyone feels 

acknowledged, respected, and valued. 

3. Employees will feel they truly have equal 

opportunities for advancement based on 

competency and experience. 

4. Productivity will increase, better results & service 

will increase sales opportunities; increased 

revenues will bring more resources and benefits 

for all employees. 

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Risks & Benefits of Diversity

Robert Putnam, E Pluribus Unum (2007):

-How to “Manufacture Trust”? Trust most those 

with whom we have most in common.

-Must create a strong, unified, inclusive culture.

-The military, sports teams, marching band: Shared 

values, rituals, ceremonies, customs, uniforms.

-Team Bayview!? Team DePaul?!! Be a good host.

-All bruise easily, but all conform to team’s culture.

-Touchdown or fumble?

-Create strong culture: Same customs, same 

ceremonies, group loyalty, trust each other, gain 

social capital.

-One MVP, all get Super Bowl Rings.

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The End. Thank You!

Questions? Comments?

Daniel Buccino

Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center 

Johns Hopkins University

School of Medicine

October 2015

Copyright © 2015 DLBuccino

All copyright 2015 DLBuccino. 

No reproduction without permission.