© Conflict Coaching International 2012

Samantha Hardy presents...

The 

Melodrama 

of Conflict

The Melodrama 

of Conflict

© Conflict Coaching International
Heroine 

• Virtuous (necessary in order to 

gain sympathy and motivate 

others to help her)

• Passive and helpless (acted 

upon, mute, needs someone 

to rescue her, stuck with no 

choices) 

© Conflict Coaching International
Villain 

• De-personalised 

• Evil (always assumed to have 

bad intentions)

• Active and powerful

• Upsets the status quo

© Conflict Coaching International
Father Figure

• Powerful 

• Smart

• Recognises heroine’s virtue

• Punishes villain

• Restores status quo

© Conflict Coaching International
Hero 

• Totally devoted to heroine

• Practically useless

• Not as smart as villain

• Although well-intentioned, can 

sometimes make things worse

© Conflict Coaching International
Melodramatic Plot

• Sensational 

• Giant leaps, plot twists

• Villain challenges heroine’s virtue

• Fight to recognise and restore virtue

• Villain over-powered 

• Dream justice

© Conflict Coaching International
The Tragedy of 

Resolution 

© Conflict Coaching International
Tragedy, choice and learning

• Complicated plots

• Characters neither good nor 

bad, complex and flawed

• Hero has to talk himself 

through the problem

• Hero has choices (although 

may not be easy ones)

• May not be a happy ending, 

but always learning and 

growth

© Conflict Coaching International
Coaching the 

client to develop 

her/his inner 

hero. 

© Conflict Coaching International
The Conflict Coach

• Refuse to play the role of father figure – stay with 

the client as bumbling melodramatic hero.

– On the client’s side, empathetic

– But practically useless

• Be the mirror to help client talk to self

• Help the client turn from helpless heroine 

to active hero

© Conflict Coaching International
Working with the client’s story

• Ask the client to set a goal – take responsibility 

right from the start.

• Personalize the villain – ask for their name and 

keep using it.

• Help client to complexify characters and plot.

© Conflict Coaching International
• Complexify the story – ask for details (without 

challenging).

– Ask about client’s actions.

– Ask about history (pre-villain’s action).

– Ask about other characters.

– Use non-universal language and unpack universals 

used by client.

– Use tentative language to explore the villain’s actions 

and motivations, explore possibilities even where client 

is dismissive.

© Conflict Coaching International

Working with the client’s story
• Highlight past choices (good and bad).

• Explore the client’s suffering.

• Ask the client to tell the story from other 

perspectives (role play a different character).

• Carefully challenge the notion of dream justice.

• Focus on choices and learning.

• Focus on improvement and artistry (not a return 

to the status quo).

© Conflict Coaching International

Working with the client’s story
© Conflict Coaching International CCI 

Reflection 

REAL Conflict Coactlil\9 encou ~ges and assists 

poople to d eVfllop tile capac ity to el\9age in 

reflective practic.e i ttleir future co flict i teractiolls. 

for too purpose of reflective leamil\9 and ttle 

d ev,elopment of artistry . 

Engagement 

REAL 'Conflict Coactling supports poople to 

constructively engage tl . ratller ttlan avoid. 

conflict. REAL Con.flict Coac tles ass ist poople to find 

ttle rigtlt lev,el of d epttl at wtlic tl to el\9age. and to 

sustain ttlat engagement in ttle long term if 

nec.essary . 

I.t'arnill!.! 

Artistry 

REAL Co flict Coac tlil\9 bu iids pooples ' capac es to 

engage in futu re conflict at ttle lev,el of artistry. It 

encou rages and supports ind iv id u als to go beyond 

the merely satisfactory . and to ac hieve excellence. 

Learning 

REAL Conflict Coac tlil\9 is grou nd cd strongly in 

principles of adu ~ leamil\9. It supports poople to 

engage in elong reflective leamil\9. 
CCI 

The 5 Cs 

© Conflict Coaching International

CLARITY 

Gain clarity 

abord the conflict 

sitltoUon 

COMPREHENSION 

Understand their 

own and the other 

person's 

needs and goals 

CHOICES 

Identify and 

evaluate their 

choices for moving 

forward 

CONFIDENCE 

Develop confidence 

about mana,giug 

conflict a,nd 

achieving their goals 

COMPETENCE 

Develop conflict 

m.anagement 

skills so that 

they can constnlctively 

engage in the conflict 
CCI © Conflict Coaching International

REALCll" r C<l1ICK'II<I 

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© Conflict Coaching International 2012

Samantha Hardy

sam@conflictcoachinginternational.com

571-279-2082 (until 4 October)

 

Conflict Coaching International