POSITIVITY IN WORKPLACE 

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

by: Vik Kapoor

1 
ROADMAP OF 

PRESENTATION

1. Roadmap & Housekeeping

2. Reflection Prompt

3. Positive Psychology Primer

4. Positive Conflict Management

5. Select Resources

6. Q & A

2 
REFLECTION

Think of a time in your practice 

when positivity made or could have 

made a significant difference.

Please take a moment to jot it down.

3 
PP PRIMER

Positive Psychology – the 

scientific study of happiness 

and well-being.

4 
SETTING THE STAGE

(3) “Happiness is not something ready 

made. It comes from your own actions.” 

 – Dalai Lama XIV

(1) “Much will be gained if we transform 

your hysterical misery into common 

unhappiness.” – Sigmund Freud

(4) “Happiness is the highest good and 

the end at which all our activities 

ultimately aim.” – Aristotle 

(2) “Psychology is much bigger than 

just medicine, or fixing unhealthy 

things. It’s about education, work, 

marriage – it’s even about sports. 

What I want to do is see 

psychologists working to help 

people build strengths in all of these 

domains. – Martin Seligman

5 
SUBJECTIVE WELL-BEING

PERMA Model - well-being theory developed by Martin 

Seligman, which identifies key ingredients to flourishing in 

life.

• Positive emotion

• Engagement

• Relationships

• Meaning

• Accomplishment/Achievement

6 
WELL-BEING AT WORK

P – Recognize that your happiness is in your control! 

(Happiness Formula; Hedonic Treadmill).

E – Find your Flow! (Csikszentmihalyi) (pronounced chick-sentme-high-ee). 

R – Catch people doing something right! (One Minute 

Manager (Blanchard) / Profit from the Positive (Greenberg 

 & Maymin)). 

M – Create space for HERO – Hope, Efficacy, Resilience & 

Optimism! (Learned Optimism (Seligman); languaging). 

A – Identify signature strengths and use them in novel ways! 

 (Rath) Strengthsfinder 2.0; Emotional Intelligence 2.0; 

Leadership 2.0; and Entrepreneurial Strengthsfinder 2.0.

7 
POSITIVE to NEGATIVE RATIO

8 
ACTIVE & CONSTRUCTIVE 

COMMUNICATION (Gable)

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(1) Passive and Destructive

“I’m hungry – are you going to happy 

hour?”

(dismissive; uninterested)

(2) Passive and Constructive

“That’s nice.”

(little to no emotion)

(3) Active and Destructive

“That sounds like a lot of work! 

Are you sure you can handle it?”

(furrowed brow; look of worry)

(4) Active and Constructive

“That’s‘ amazing news! I know how 

hard you worked for that. How did it 

come up? How happy are you right 

now!?

(eye contact; genuine smiling)
ADDITIONAL RESEARCH

FOR GROUPS

Positivity reverberates to three degrees of 

separation (Framingham Heart Study) and 

develops upward spirals of positive momentum 

in organizations (Frederickson).

FOR INDIVIDUALS

Mimicking a Duchenne smile increases 

happiness (Kraft and Pressman), as does 

singing and listening to music (so long as you 

intended to cheer up by doing so) (Horn).

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THREE GOOD THINGS (Peterson)

One of the EASIEST and BEST “happiness 

interventions” anyone can engage in to improve 

positive mood in a short period of time.

Every day for 15 days, write down three things 

that happened well and that you are grateful for. 

Provide detail, including what you expected to 

happen, what happened, and what you are 

grateful for.

Savor those moments for greatest impact.

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POSITIVE CONFLICT 

MANAGEMENT

Appreciative Facilitation (Cooperrider) 

Affirmative Mediation (Barthel) 

Positive Coaching (Biswas-Diener) 

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POSITIVITY AND ADR

There seems to be an inverse relationship 

between well-being and conflict.

There is support for the idea that a positive 

feedback loop exists between happiness and 

collaboration in the conflict resolution context.

Arthur Pearlstein, “Pursuit of Happiness and Resolution of Conflict: An 

Agenda for the Future of ADR,” Pepperdine Dispute Resolution Law 

Journal 12 (June 2012): 229-236. 

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HYPO #1

You are serving as a mediator for an institutional client. Prior to 

the mediation, a party says the following to you in private:

• I do not want this mediation to blow up into a shouting 

match.

• I am worried that there will be a great deal of emotion.

• We seem to agree on 4 of the issues but the last 2 are very 

tense and I do not know if we will be able to resolve this 

today.

How can the principles of positivity help you? Please jot down 

some notes.

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APPROACH and AVOIDANT GOALS

Avoidant – what you do not want to happen.

“My goal is to not be passed up for promotion next time.”

Approach – what you want to happen.

“My goal is to be promoted next time.”

Avoidant – I do not want an argument.

Approach – I want a healthy, civilized discussion.

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COUNTERACTING COGNITIVE BIASES

Negative Attribution 

Demonization

Reactive Devaluation

Loss Aversion

Micro-inequities

Avoidance/Victimization

Draw on Micro-Affirmations! (Rowe)

Explore Positive Imaging! (Peale)

Make Self-Talk Positive!

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APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY

Discover (in pairs) 

Dream (in groups)

Design (on paper)

Deliver (loud & proud) 

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HYPO #2

Your job is to facilitate a group discussion over the 

reorganization of several work units. Several competing 

“factions” have their own idea of a new organizational chart.

After some prodding you have convinced the parties to share 

their proposed organizational charts. The first group 

presents their chart and the members brace themselves for 

the anticipated flurry of criticism from competing groups.

How might the principle of appreciative inquiry help you 

move the ball?

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POSITIVE QUESTIONING

What is going well so far?

I hear you saying that you want things to be 

better. What are some possibilities?

Imagine this issue was resolved in the middle 

of the night while you slept, but no one told 

you. How would you realize that this issue is 

gone? How would your day look different?

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SUMMARY – APPLIED POSITIVITY

Appreciative Facilitation (Cooperrider) 

Affirmative Mediation (Barthel) 

Positive Coaching (Biswas-Diener) 

20
 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Websites

 

Authentic Happiness (includes self-assessments) 

 

The Center for Positive Organizations

 

The International Positive Psychology Association (provides a wealth of information, including details on the recurring 

World Congress on Positive Psychology)

 

The Pursuit of Happiness Blog (provides an extensive database of empirical studies and summaries)

Books

 

Peterson, Christopher. A Primer in Positive Psychology. New York: Oxford University Press, 2006.

 

Seligman, Martin E. P. Flourish: A Visionary Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being. New York: Atria, 2011.

 

Greenberg, Margaret and Senia Maymin. Profit from the Positive: Proven Leadership Strategies to Boost Productivity and 

Transform Your Business. USA: McGraw Hill, 2013.

 

Bormans, Leo (ed.). The World Book of Happiness: The Knowledge and Wisdom of One Hundred Happiness Professors 

From Around the World. New York: Firefly Books, 2011.

 

Aneja, Sahil Happiology: The Science of Creating Your Happiness. USA: Outskirts Press, 2014.

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QUESTIONS?

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