RESILIENCE AND WELLBEING FOR 

CONFLICT RESOLVERS

SARAH R. KITH, MSOD COOP®

DISPUTE RESOLUTION CONVENER, LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

SEPTEMBER 20, 2016
WHY RESILIENCE AND WELL-BEING?

Reflective Practice and Mastery of Practitioners’ Competence:

• Sustain openness and curiosity to a life long learning journey 

• Return to a state of hope and enjoyment (quality of being)

• Have compassion, empathy and connectedness with disputants

• Practitioner’s Presence and quality of being - “be the calm”

• Facilitate hope, optimism and self-reliance 
SESSION OVERVIEW

• Foundations of Well –Being and Resilience 

• Building Conflict Resilience and Reflective Practice 

• Facilitating Resilience 
WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO JOIN THE SESSION?
ABOUT INNER JOURNEY INSTITUTE

The Inner Journey Institute is an educational organization that’s been in 

operation since 1999 throughout the US and Canada. We are devoted to a 

world liberated from suffering, where all people experience themselves as fully 

alive, connected, self expressed and acknowledged for who they are.

The methodology of the Inner Journey Institute is based on two fundamental 

principles: Love and Awareness.

In an experimental comparison, those who 

kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis 

exercised more regularly, reported fewer 

physical symptoms, felt better about their 

lives as a whole, and were more optimistic 

about the upcoming week compared to 

those who recorded hassles or neutral life 

events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003)
• The ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad 

happens (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) 

• “The reactivity and rapidity of recovery following negative events.” 

(Davidson)

• "Blessed are those who are flexible, for they shall never be bent out of 

shape." ~ Unknown. 

DEFINITION OF RESILIENCE
“WHY HAVE YOU BEEN USING THE TOOLS OF MODERN 

NEUROSCIENCE JUST TO STUDY ANXIETY, STRESS, FEAR 

AND DEPRESSION? WHY CAN’T YOU USE THEM TO STUDY 

KINDNESS AND COMPASSION?” – DALAI LAMA

“Well-being is a skill”

• Resilience 

• Positive Outlook 

• Mindfulness

• Generosity 

http://centerhealthyminds.org/about/why-well-being
• Resilience

• Outlook 

• Social Intuition

• Self-Awareness

• Sensitivity to Context

• Attention 

THE EMOTIONAL BRAIN
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK

If you change yourself you will change your 

world. If you change how you think then you 

will change how you feel and what actions 

you take. And so the world around you will 

change. Not only because you are now 

viewing your environment through new lenses 

of thoughts and emotions but also because 

the change within can allow you to take 

action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe 

even have thought about – while stuck in your 

old thought patterns. - Gandhi
Weng, Fox, Shackman, Stodola, Caldwell, Olson, Rogers & Davidson (in press) Psychological Science 

Compassion for Others

Notice how you feel when you think of your suffering... How does 

your heart feel? ... (Pauses between each question) Do you continue 

to feel warmth, openness and tenderness?... Are there other 

sensations, perhaps an aching sensation?

Compassion for Self: Contemplate a time when you have suffered 

yourself. 

Notice how this love feels in your heart... (Pauses between each question) Notice 

the sensations around your heart... Perhaps you feel a sensation of warmth, 

openness, and tenderness...

Picture someone who is close to you, someone that you feel a great 

amount of love towards. 

PRESENCE KINDNESS AND COMPASSION
http://centerhealthyminds.org/about/why-well-being

At the same time, silently recite these phrases. 

“May you have happiness. 

May you be free from suffering. 

May you experience joy and ease.”

 

MINDFUL PRESENCE
BUILDING 

CONFLICT 

RESILIENCE

AND 

REFLECTIVE

PRACTICE

Calmness

Clarity

Curiosity

Compassion

Creativity

Connectedness 

Courage

Confidence 

HTTP://WWW.SELFLEADERSHIP.ORG

RICHARD SCHWARTZ’S INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEM
“How can we help people prepare to engage 

with this issue over time?”

- “It means learning to engage with both the 

conflict and the other disputants with 

respect for each person’s humanity...”

- “...to accept conflict in their lives with 

courage, optimism, realism, and 

determination.” 

Mayer (2009)

FACILITATING RESILIENCE IN DISPUTANTS
GEORGIA SCHOOL SHOOTING 911 CALL 

WITH ANTOINETTE TUFF

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kVpipSXRKA
WHAT RESONATES WITH YOU FROM THE VIDEO? 

HOW DID SHE CULTIVATE RESILIENCE?
BUILDING CONFLICT RESILIENCE AND REFLECTIVE 

PRACTICE

• Stay engage with conflict

• Practice letting go and forgiving

• Reach out to others 

• Practice generosity and kindness

• Have a routine mental and physical 

fitness

• Keep a gratitude journal

- Disentangling emotions that have 

disputants reacting from the lower part 

of their brain (fight or flight response)

- Facilitate the negotiation of options

- Contemplative practice - meditation 

- Physical activities - dancing, walking, 

yoga, running.

- Reflective practice
FACILITATING RESILIENCE:

• How does this apply to your ADR practice?

• How could you incorporate the science of well-being and resilience in your 

day-to-day work? What intention will you set for yourself when working with 

disputants?
What was going on for me while the 

interchange was happening?

What effect did my reaction have on the 

participants/disputants?

What did I set out to achieve?

What happened?

What went well?

What did not go the way it was intended?

What did I learn?

What will I do differently next time?

Approaches

• Self-reflection – post case handling 

debrief with a peer (giving and receiving 

feedback

• Individual’s journaling

• Practitioners coming together 

Journal Club

Case review –

REFLECTIVE PRACTICE 

– SHINING THE LIGHT 

ON OURSELVES
QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
RESOURCES AND BIBLIOGRAPHY

• Bring Peace into the Room: The Personal Qualities of the Mediator and Their Impact 

on Mediation, D. Bowling and D. Hoffman, 2000

• Staying with Conflict, Mayer, 2009

• Your Brain at Work, David Rock, 2009

• The Psychology of Gratitude, Emmons & McCullough, 2003

• The Making of a Mediator: Developing Artistry in Practice 1st Edition, Lang and 

Taylor, 2000

• http://centerhealthyminds.org/about/why-well-being
THANK YOU!

May you have happiness. 

May you be free from suffering. 

May you experience joy and ease.