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1 Toll-Free: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) | Info@samhsa.hhs.gov | http://store.samhsa.gov

Tips for Talking With and Helping Children and Youth 

Cope After a Disaster or Traumatic Event:

A GUIDE FOR PARENTS, CAREGIVERS, AND TEACHERS 

 Adult support and reassurance is the key to helping children through a traumatic time.

Children and youth can face emotional strains 

after a traumatic event such as a car crash 

or violence.1 Disasters also may leave them 

with long-lasting harmful effects.2 When 

children experience a trauma, watch it on TV, 

or overhear others discussing it, they can feel 

scared, confused, or anxious. Young people 

react to trauma differently than adults. Some 

may react right away; others may show signs 

that they are having a difficult time much later. 

As such, adults do not always know when a 

child needs help coping. This tip sheet will help 

parents, caregivers, and teachers learn some 

common reactions, respond in a helpful way, 

and know when to seek support. 

Possible Reactions to a Disaster 

or Traumatic Event

Many of the reactions noted below are normal 

when children and youth are handling the stress 

right after an event. If any of these behaviors 

lasts for more than 2 to 4 weeks, or if they 

suddenly appear later on, these children may 

need more help coping. Information about 

where to find help is in the Helpful Resources

section of this tip sheet.

PRESCHOOL CHILDREN, 0–5 YEARS OLD

Very young children may go back to thumb 

sucking or wetting the bed at night after a 

trauma. They may fear strangers, darkness, 

or monsters. It is fairly common for preschool 

children to become clingy with a parent, 

caregiver, or teacher or to want to stay in a place 

where they feel safe. They may express the 

trauma repeatedly in their play or tell exaggerated 

stories about what happened. Some children’s 

eating and sleeping habits may change. They 

also may have aches and pains that cannot be 

explained. Other symptoms to watch for are 

aggressive or withdrawn behavior, hyperactivity, 

speech difficulties, and disobedience.

 Infants and Toddlers, 0–2 years old,

cannot understand that a trauma is happening, 

but they know when their caregiver is upset. 

They may start to show the same emotions as 

their caregivers, or they may act differently, 

like crying for no reason, withdrawing from 

people, and not playing with their toys.

Children, 3–5 years old, can understand 

the effects of trauma. They may have trouble 

adjusting to change and loss. They may 

depend on the adults around them to help 

them feel better. 
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TIPS FOR TALKING WITH AND HELPING CHILDREN AND YOUTH COPE AFTER A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT:

A GUIDE FOR PARENTS, CAREGIVERS, AND TEACHERS 

Toll-Free: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) | Info@samhsa.hhs.gov | http://store.samhsa.gov

EARLY CHILDHOOD TO ADOLESCENCE, 

6–19 YEARS OLD

Children and youth in these age ranges may 

have some of the same reactions to trauma as 

younger children. Often, younger children want 

much more attention from parents or caregivers. 

They may stop doing their school work or 

chores at home. Some youth may feel helpless 

and guilty because they cannot take on adult 

roles as their family or the community responds 

to a trauma or disaster.





Children, 6–10 years old, may fear going to 

school and stop spending time with friends. 

They may have trouble paying attention and do 

poorly in school overall. Some may become 

aggressive for no clear reason. Or they may 

act younger than their age by asking to be fed 

or dressed by their parent or caregiver. 

Youth and Adolescents, 11–19 years old,

go through a lot of physical and emotional 

changes because of their developmental 

stage. So, it may be even harder for them 

to cope with trauma. Older teens may 

deny their reactions to themselves and their 

caregivers. They may respond with a routine 

“I’m okay” or even silence when they are 

upset. Or, they may complain about physical 

aches or pains because they cannot identify 

what is really bothering them emotionally. 

Some may start arguments at home and/or 

at school, resisting any structure or authority. 

They also may engage in risky behaviors 

such as using alcohol or drugs.

How Parents, Caregivers, and Teachers 

Can Support Children’s Recovery

The good news is that children and youth are 

usually quite resilient. Most of the time they 

get back to feeling okay soon after a trauma. 

With the right support from the adults around 

them, they can thrive and recover. The most 

important ways to help are to make sure 

children feel connected, cared about, and loved. 

 Parents, teachers, and other caregivers can help 

children express their emotions through conversation, 

writing, drawing, and singing. Most children want 

to talk about a trauma, so let them. Accept their 

feelings and tell them it is okay to feel sad, upset, or 

stressed. Crying is often a way to relieve stress and 

grief. Pay attention and be a good listener.

Adults can ask the teens and youth they are caring 

for what they know about the event. What are they 

hearing in school or seeing on TV? Try to watch 

news coverage on TV or the Internet with them. And, 

limit access so they have time away from reminders 

about the trauma. Don’t let talking about the trauma 

take over the family or classroom discussion for long 

periods of time. Allow them to ask questions.

Adults can help children and youth see the good that 

can come out of a trauma. Heroic actions, families 

and friends who help, and support from people in 

the community are examples. Children may better 

cope with a trauma or disaster by helping others. 

They can write caring letters to those who have 

been hurt or have lost their homes; they can send 

thank you notes to people who helped. Encourage 

these kinds of activities.

If human violence or error caused an event, be 

careful not to blame a cultural, racial, or ethnic group, 

or persons with psychiatric disabilities. This may 

be a good opportunity to talk with children about 

discrimination and diversity. Let children know that 

they are not to blame when bad things happen. 

It’s okay for children and youth to see adults sad 

or crying, but try not to show intense emotions. 

Screaming and hitting or kicking furniture or walls 

can be scary for children. Violence can further 

frighten children or lead to more trauma.3

Adults can show children and youth how to take care of 

themselves. If you are in good physical and emotional 

health, you are more likely to be readily available to 

support the children you care about. Model self-care, 

set routines, eat healthy meals, get enough sleep, 

exercise, and take deep breaths to handle stress.
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Tips for Talking With Children and 

Youth of Different Age Groups After 

a Disaster or Traumatic Event 

PRESCHOOL CHILDREN, 0–5 YEARS OLD

Give these very young children a lot of cuddling 

and verbal support: 

 Take a deep breath before holding or picking 

them up, and focus on them, not the trauma.

Get down to their eye level and speak in a 

calm, gentle voice using words they can 

understand. 

Tell them that you still care for them and will 

continue to take care of them so they feel safe.

EARLY CHILDHOOD TO ADOLESCENCE, 

6–19 YEARS OLD

Nurture children and youth in this age group:

 Ask your child or the children in your care what 

worries them and what might help them cope.

Offer comfort with gentle words, a hug when 

appropriate, or just your presence. 

Spend more time with the children than 

usual, even for a short while. Returning to 

school activities and getting back to routines 

at home is important too.

Excuse traumatized children from chores for 

a day or two. After that, make sure they have 

age-appropriate tasks and can participate in 

a way that makes them feel useful.

Support children spending time with friends 

or having quiet time to write or create art. 

Encourage children to participate in 

recreational activities so they can move 

around and play with others. 

 Address your own trauma in a healthy way. 

Avoid hitting, isolating, abandoning, or 

making fun of children. 

Let children know that you care about them—

spend time doing something special with 

them, and make sure to check on them in a 

nonintrusive way. 

A NOTE OF CAUTION: Be careful not to pressure children to 

talk about a trauma or join in expressive activities. While 

most children will easily talk about what happened, some 

may become frightened. Some may even get traumatized 

again by talking about it, listening to others talk about it, or 

looking at drawings of the event. Allow children to remove 

themselves from these activities, and monitor them for 

signs of distress. 

TIPS FOR TALKING WITH AND HELPING CHILDREN AND YOUTH COPE AFTER A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT:

A GUIDE FOR PARENTS, CAREGIVERS, AND TEACHERS 

Toll-Free: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) | Info@samhsa.hhs.gov | http://store.samhsa.gov
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When Children, Youth, Parents, 

Caregivers, or Teachers Need 

More Help

In some instances, a child and his or her 

family may have trouble getting past a trauma. 

Parents or caregivers may be afraid to leave a 

child alone. Teachers may see that a student 

is upset or seems different. It may be helpful 

for everyone to work together. Consider talking 

with a mental health professional to help identify 

the areas of difficulty. Together, everyone can 

decide how to help and learn from each other. 

If a child has lost a loved one, consider working 

with someone who knows how to support 

children who are grieving.4

 Find a caring 

professional in the Helpful Resources section 

of this tip sheet.

1 National Center for Statistics and Analysis. (n.d.). Traffic safety facts, 

2003 data: Children. (DOT HS 809 762). Washington, DC: National 

Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Retrieved from http://wwwnrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/Pubs/809762.pdf. 

2,4 National Commission on Children and Disasters. (2010). National 

Commission on Children and Disasters: 2010 report to the President 

and Congress. (AHRQ Publication No. 10-MO37). Rockville, MD: 

Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. Retrieved from http://

archive.ahrq.gov/prep/nccdreport/nccdreport.pdf.

3 Children’s Bureau. (2010). Child maltreatment 2009. Washington, 

DC: Administration on Children, Youth and Families; Administration 

for Children and Families; U.S. Department of Health and Human 

Services. Retrieved from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/

resource/child-maltreatment-2009.

Helpful Resources 

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services 

Administration Disaster Technical Assistance 

Center (SAMHSA DTAC)

Toll-Free: 1-800-308-3515

Website: http://www.samhsa.gov/dtac

Treatment Locators

Mental Health Treatment Facility Locator

Toll-Free: 1-800-789-2647 (English and español) 

TDD: 1-866-889-2647

Website: http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/MHTreatmentLocator

MentalHealth.gov

Website: http://www.mentalhealth.gov

MentalHealth.gov provides U.S. government information 

and resources on mental health. 

Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator

Toll-Free: 1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357) 

(24/7 English and español); TDD: 1-800-487-4889

Website: http://www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov

Hotlines

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Toll-Free: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) 

TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)

Website: http://www.samhsa.gov

This resource can be found by accessing the Suicide 

Prevention Lifeline box once on the SAMHSA website.

Disaster Distress Helpline 

Toll-Free: 1-800-985-5990 Text “TalkWithUs” to 66746

Website: http://disasterdistress.samhsa.gov

Child Welfare Information Gateway

Toll-Free: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

Website: http://www.childwelfare.gov/responding/how.cfm

Additional Behavioral Health Resources 

National Child Traumatic Stress Network

Website: http://www.samhsa.gov/traumaJustice

This behavioral health resource can be accessed by visiting 

the SAMHSA website and then selecting the related link.

Administration for Children and Families

Website: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/

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HHS Publication No. SMA-12-4732 

(Revised 2013)

TIPS FOR TALKING WITH AND HELPING CHILDREN AND YOUTH COPE AFTER A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT:

A GUIDE FOR PARENTS, CAREGIVERS, AND TEACHERS 

Toll-Free: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) | Info@samhsa.hhs.gov | http://store.samhsa.gov