Parent Tips for Helping Preschool-Age Children after Disasters

Psychological First Aid - Field Operations Guide

Reactions/Behavior Responses Examples of things to do and say

Helplessness and passivity: Young children know 

they can’t protect themselves. In a disaster, they feel 

even more helpless. They want to know their parents 

will keep them safe. They might express this by being 

unusually quiet or agitated.

Provide comfort, rest, food, water, and 

opportunities for play and drawing. 

Provide ways to turn spontaneous drawing or 

playing about traumatic events to something that 

would make them feel safer or better. 

Reassure your child that you and other grownups 

will protect them.

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Give your child more hugs, hand holding, or time 

in your lap. 

Make sure there is a special safe area for your 

child to play with proper supervision. 

In play, a four year old keeps having the blocks 

knocked down by hurricane winds. Asked, “Can 

you make it safe from the winds?” the child 

quickly builds a double block thick wall and says, 

“Winds won’t get us now.” A parent might respond 

with, “That wall sure is strong,” and explain, 

“We’re doing a lot of things to keep us safe.”

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General fearfulness: Young children may become 

more afraid of being alone, being in the bathroom, 

going to sleep, or otherwise separated from parents. 

Children want to believe that their parents can protect 

them in all situations and that other grownups, such as 

teachers or police officers, are there to help them. 

Be as calm as you can with your child. Try not to 

voice your own fears in front of your child. 

Help children regain confidence that you aren’t 

leaving them and that you can protect them. 

Remind them that there are people working to 

keep families safe, and that your family can get 

more help if you need to. 

If you leave, reassure your children you will be 

back. Tell them a realistic time in words they 

understand, and be back on time. 

Give your child ways to communicate their fears 

to you.

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Be aware when you are on the phone or talking 

to others, that your child does not overhear you 

expressing fear. 

Say things such as, “We are safe from the 

earthquake now, and people are working hard to 

make sure we are okay.” 

Say, “If you start feeling more scared, come and 

take my hand. Then I’ll know you need to tell me 

something.”

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Confusion about the danger being over: Young children 

can overhear things from adults and older children, 

or see things on TV, or just imagine that it is happening all over again. They believe the danger is closer to 

home, even if it happened further away.

Give simple, repeated explanations as needed, 

even every day. Make sure they understand the 

words you are using. 

Find out what other words or explanations they 

have heard and clarify inaccuracies. 

If you are at some distance from the danger, it is 

important to tell your child that the danger is not 

near you. 

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Continue to explain to your child that the disaster 

has passed and that you are away from the danger 

Draw, or show on a map, how far away you are 

from the disaster area, and that where you are is 

safe. “See? The disaster was way over there, and 

we’re way over here in this safe place.”

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Returning to earlier behaviors: Thumb sucking, bedwetting, baby-talk, needing to be in your lap.Remain neutral or matter-of-fact, as best you can, 

as these earlier behaviors may continue a while 

after the disaster.

 If your child starts bedwetting, change her clothes 

and linens without comment. Don’t let anyone 

criticize or shame the child.

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Parent Tips for Helping Preschool-Age Children after Disasters

National Child Traumatic Stress Network National Center for PTSD 

Reactions/Behavior Responses Examples of things to do and say

Fears the disaster will return: When having reminders—seeing, hearing, or otherwise sensing something 

that reminds them of the disaster.

Explain the difference between the event and 

reminders of the event. 

Protect children from things that will remind 

them as best you can. 

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“Even though it’s raining, that doesn’t mean 

the hurricane is happening again. A rainstorm 

is smaller and can’t wreck stuff like a hurricane 

can.”

Keep your child from television, radio, and 

computer stories of the disaster that can trigger 

fears of it happening again.

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Not talking: Being silent or having difficulty saying 

what is bothering them.

Put common feelings into words, such as anger, 

sadness, and worry about the safety of parents, 

friends, and siblings. 

Do not force them to talk, but let them know they 

can talk to you any time.

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Draw simple “happy faces” for different feelings 

on paper plates. Tell a brief story about each one, 

such as, “Remember when the water came into 

the house and you had a worried face like this?” 

Say something like, “Children can feel really sad 

when their home is damaged.” 

Provide art or play materials to help them express 

themselves. Then use feeling words to check 

out how they felt. “This is a really scary picture. 

Were you scared when you saw the water?”

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Sleep problems: Fear of being alone at night, sleeping alone, waking up afraid, having bad dreams.Reassure your child that he is safe. Spend extra 

quiet time together at bedtime. 

Let the child sleep with a dim light on or sleep 

with you for a limited time. 

Some might need an explanation of the 

difference between dreams and real life.

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Provide calming activities before bedtime. Tell a 

favorite story with a comforting theme. 

At bedtime say, “You can sleep with us tonight, 

but tomorrow you’ll sleep in your own bed.” 

“Bad dreams come from our thoughts inside 

about being scared, not from real things 

happening.”

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Not understanding about death: Preschool age children don’t understand that death is not reversible. 

They have “magical thinking” and might believe 

their thoughts caused the death. The loss of a pet may 

be very hard on a child.

Give an age-appropriate consistent explanation–

that does not give false hopes–about the reality 

of death.

Don’t minimize feelings over a loss of a pet or a 

special toy. 

Take cues from what your child seems to want to 

know. Answer simply and ask if he has any more 

questions.

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Allow children to participate in cultural and 

religious grieving rituals. 

Help them find their own way to say goodbye by 

drawing a happy memory or lighting a candle or 

saying a prayer for the deceased. 

“No, Pepper won’t be back, but we can think 

about him and talk about him and remember 

what a silly doggy he was.” 

“The firefighter said no one could save Pepper 

and it wasn’t your fault. I know you miss him 

very much.”

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