TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

WHILE CARING FOR OTHERS

FAMILIES

Defense and Veterans Brain Injury CenterEmotional Health
EMOTIONALLY 

AND PHYSICALLY HEALTHY?

A traumatic brain injury (TBI) can lead to changes in 

a person. As you, the caregiver, come to terms with 

these changes with your family member, you may move 

through a series of emotional stages. In the first couple 

of months, for example, you may feel happy your loved 

one is alive and hopeful that he or she will recover fully 

and quickly. You might think a full recovery would happen 

faster, if only he or she would work harder at it. You might 

feel discouraged and depressed, or even feel guilty. 

Knowing what other families go through as they adjust to 

life after TBI can help you realize that your feelings are 

normal; however, it can be harmful if you focus all your 

attention on your service member/veteran.

If you are feeling discouraged or worn out, here is what 

you can do: ■ Find a friend or family member to talk to about your 

feelings or join a support group with other families 

affected by TBI. Talking with someone can relieve 

stress and reduce anxiety because you will learn 

that you are not alone.

■ If your stress, sadness or anxiety begins to feel out 

of control, seek professional help from a counselor, 

therapist, religious/spiritual leader or social worker.

■ Consider counseling for military/veteran family 

members affected by TBI.

“I went and saw my psychologist and that was probably 

one of the best things I did. It was for two days a week, an 

hour each session, and she was just . . . a neutral person. 

I could come in and say all this stuff was going on, and she 

would actually help me make decisions as to where to go 

next or what things to do for Pat. She could stand back, 

look at everything, and help me make sense of it. That 

was a huge help for me.” 

- Patty H.

HOW CAN I STAY 

For more information and resources, trained health 

professionals are available 24/7 at RealWarriors.net.

24/7 Live Chat: realwarriors.net/livechat

Military Crisis Line 

For crisis intervention:

800-273-8255, press 1

For information and resources:

Psychological Health Resource Center

866-966-1020

To learn more online, visit 

dvbic.dcoe.mil/aheadforthefuture

or www.facebook.com/DVBIC page
Coping With Challenges

CHALLENGE SYMPTOMS HOW TO COPE CHALLENGE SYMPTOMS HOW TO COPE

STRESS

Stress is the mental 

and physical reaction 

to events that upset 

our balance in life.

Chronic stress that 

doesn’t go away can 

lead to serious health 

problems over time.

SADNESS AND 

DEPRESSION

Sadness and grieving 

are normal responses 

to the loss of life 

as you once knew 

it. Sadness and 

grieving can lead to 

depression.

Symptoms of 

depression are 

a combination of 

symptoms that 

interfere with a 

person’s ability to 

work, sleep, study, 

eat and enjoy once 

pleasurable activities.

Major depression 

is disabling and 

prevents a person 

from living normally.

ANXIETY

Anxiety is excessive 

worry about life. It is a 

reaction to stress and 

can lead to depression.

■ Headaches ■ Neck and shoulders 

tighten 

■ Fatigue ■ Trouble sleeping ■ Weight change ■ Stomach upsets ■ Increased use of 

alcohol, drugs, 

tobacco 

■ Fear and worry ■ Mood swings ■ Crying spells ■ Irritability ■ Depression ■ Forgetfulness ■ Poor concentration ■ Low productivity ■ Negative attitude ■ Confusion ■ Weariness ■ Boredom ■ Feelings of isolation ■ High blood pressure

■ Feeling blue ■ Withdrawing ■ Irritability ■ Constant sad, 

anxious, or 

“empty” feelings

■ Feelings of 

hopelessness

■ Feelings of guilt, 

worthlessness and/

or helplessness

■ Bad temper, 

restlessness 

■ Loss of interest 

in activities, hobbies 

or sex 

■ Tiredness and 

decreased energy 

■ Trouble 

concentrating

■ Trouble 

remembering 

details and making 

decisions 

■ Inability to sleep, 

early–morning 

wakefulness or 

too much sleeping

■ Overeating or 

appetite loss 

■ Suicidal thoughts ■ Suicide attempts ■ Constant aches or 

pains, headaches, 

cramps or stomach 

problems that do 

not ease, even with 

treatment

■ Ongoing worry 

and tension 

■ Viewing problems 

as overwhelming 

■ Restlessness or a 

feeling of being 

“edgy” 

■ Bad temper ■ Muscle tension ■ Headaches ■ Sweating ■ Difficulty 

concentrating 

■ Nausea ■ Needing to go to 

the bathroom often 

■ Being tired ■ Trouble falling or 

staying asleep 

■ Trembling ■ Being easily startled

■ Practice deep 

breathing and other 

relaxation methods.

■ Exercise. ■ Improve time 

management. 

■ Meditate. ■ Accept help from 

friends and family.

■ Keep a sense of 

humor. 

■ Keep up personal 

activities that are 

important to you. 

■ Reward yourself. ■ Stay in touch with 

friends. 

■ Set limits. ■ Join a support group. ■ Contact a therapist. ■ Read a book. ■ Listen to music that 

lightens your mood.

■ Seek counsel from a 

chaplain or provider.

■ Talk over your 

feelings with 

others, e.g., in a 

support group.

■ Keep a journal to 

explore your feelings. 

Give yourself a break 

by asking for help in 

caregiving.

■ Try to rest your body 

and your mind with 

yoga and meditation.

■ Find someone who 

can listen without 

giving advice or 

making comments.

■ Focus on positive 

relationships in your life 

— family, friends and 

pets.

■ Seek counsel from a 

chaplain or provider.

■ If symptoms persist, 

seek professional 

help. Counseling and/

or medications have 

proven effective in 

treating depression.

■ Seek counseling 

immediately from 

medical care staff 

if you have thoughts 

of suicide.

■ If you are thinking 

of suicide, call the 

National Suicide 

Prevention Lifeline 

at 1-800-273-8255 

(TALK).

■ Talk to a friend 

or family member.

■ Exercise. ■ Eat a balanced diet. ■ Avoid caffeine. ■ Write in your journal. ■ Counseling and/or 

medications can treat 

anxiety.

■ Seek counsel from a 

chaplain or provider.

■ If symptoms persist, 

seek professional 

help.
HOW CAN I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF?

Healthy behaviors can keep you well and help you cope 

with the stress of life while you care for a loved one with a 

TBI. This section contains some healthy lifestyle tips. The 

more you take care of yourself, the better you will feel.

STRESS BUSTERS

Practice deep breathing. Take a deep breath, hold it for 

a few seconds, and then let it out. Continue to breathe 

deeply until you feel yourself calm down.

Relax your muscles. Lying down, begin by tensing your 

toes, then relaxing them. Then tense your ankles and 

relax. Continue up your body to your forehead, tensing 

and relaxing each set of muscles. Then lie quietly for a 

few minutes, letting your body melt into the floor.

Try meditation. Select a quiet spot in the house and a 

time when you can be quiet for 15 minutes. Sit down and 

rest your hands in your lap. Close your eyes. Clear your 

mind. Breathe in deeply, then let your breath out while 

you say a word such as “one.” Repeat continuously. Try 

to clear all thoughts from your mind as you do this. It 

takes practice. 

Manage your time effectively. Plan ahead so that you 

arrive on time. Plan your day or week sensibly, so that 

you are not trying to do too much in too little time.

Self-Care Strategies

The Defense Health Agency (DHA) has developed 

several smartphone apps that may help you relax, 

track your mood and practice mindfulness. Scan the 

code below to access these and other apps.

Mood Tracker lets you 

monitor and track your 

mood. The scales help you 

identify triggers that affect 

your mood.

Practice mindfulness to 

relieve stress and tension 

headaches. Mindfulness 

Coach introduces the 

concept and helps users 

develop the skills needed for 

the practice. 

Breathe2Relax helps you 

manage stress with deep 

breathing exercises.
EXERCISE

Exercise can relieve stress, reduce depression, make 

you feel better about yourself and help you maintain your 

weight and strength.

Try these tips to begin an exercise routine.

1. Make your plan fit your life: It doesn’t have to

be strenuous; even brief exercise reduces stress.

A 30-minute walk on most days is usually enough.

You can break the 30 minutes into shorter 10-minute

segments, if that’s all the time you have.

2. Be consistent: Doing weights once a month or

stretching once a week won’t make much of a

difference. Whatever your workout, make sure

you do it at least two to three times a week.

3. Use the buddy system: Find a friend or relative whom

you like and trust, and exercise together. Use this as

an opportunity to enjoy one another’s company and

as an outlet to deal with stress.

NUTRITION

The food you eat can have an impact on your overall health, 

energy levels and ability to deal with stressful situations in 

an effective way. Follow these healthy eating tips:

1.Eat a variety of nutrient-rich foods. A healthy diet is

one that is low in fat; high in fiber from whole grains,

fruits, and vegetables; and includes lean cuts of

meat, poultry, eggs and other protein sources.

2.Drink plenty of water. The intake of water is essential

to the reduction of toxins within our bodies and

protects the body from infection.

3. Eat moderate portions. Try to eat six small meals

a day, or three regular meals and two snacks.

4. Eat regular meals. Skipping meals can lead to out-of-control hunger, stress and a weakene d

immune system.

5. Eat healthy snacks. Snacking between meals ca n

help curb hunger, so choose healthy options such a s

raw carrots or a piece of fruit.

SLEEP

If you don’t get enough sleep, you are likely to be tired 

and irritable during the day. You also may find it hard to 

concentrate. Most adults need seven to eight hours of 

sleep per night.

Try these tips for getting a comfortable night’s sleep:

Establish a routine for when you go to bed and when 

you get up every day. This can reinforce your body’s 

sleep-wake cycle.

Establish a relaxing bedtime routine. Take a bath, read 

a book, or find another activity that helps you shift from 

your busy daytime life to restful sleep.

Go to bed when you’re tired and turn out the lights. 

If you can’t fall asleep within 15 to 20 minutes, go to 

another room. Keep the lights dim and do something 

relaxing, but avoid using the TV, computer or phone.

Do not rely on sleeping pills. Check with your doctor 

before taking any sleep medications, as they can interact 

with other medications or a medical condition. You may 

have an underlying sleep disorder that requires treatment.

Physical Health
Don’t exercise within three hours of bedtime. 

It may make it harder to fall asleep.

Avoid caffeine-containing foods or drinks — such as 

chocolate, energy drinks and soda — at least 6 hours 

before bedtime.

Avoid alcohol, nicotine, heavy meals and drinking a lot 

of liquids close to bedtime.

IF YOU HAVE SLEEP PROBLEMS...

Create a sleep diary to keep track of any issues you are 

having and any medications you are taking. Make note 

of the types of sleep problems you are having, including 

inability to fall or stay asleep, or excessive sleepiness 

during the daytime. If problems continue, discuss the 

sleep diary with your doctor. There may be an underlying 

cause, and you will want to be properly diagnosed.

TOBACCO USE

If you don’t use tobacco products, don’t start. Find other 

ways to cope with stress.

If you do use tobacco products, stress may increase your 

use. It may be difficult to quit, especially when you are 

learning to care for someone with TBI.

Your goal right now may be to not increase the number 

of tobacco products you use each day.

Later, you may want to start cutting down on the number 

of tobacco products and then quit altogether.

The nicotine in tobacco is addictive. Most smokers find it 

takes several attempts to quit before they are successful. 

Ask your doctor about medications or programs that can 

help you quit.

ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS

When life is stressful, some people turn to alcohol or 

other drugs to help them relax, which tends to make 

problems worse.

Using alcohol or drugs to make you feel better in 

the short term can be dangerous. You can become 

dependent on these substances. This will interfere with 

your responsibilities to your family.

If you drink, do so in moderation. Find other ways to 

relieve stress and reward yourself. 

ROUTINE MEDICAL CARE

Getting routine medical and dental care, such as 

preventive screenings (mammograms, blood pressure 

checks), helps keep you strong and healthy. 

It’s okay to have your family member with TBI sit in the 

waiting room while you see the doctor, dentist, or other 

provider if he or she is able. Otherwise, make plans for 

someone to care for him or her while you are at your 

appointment.

If you become sick, worn down or burned out, you will 

not be able to provide good care to your family member. 

The more you take care of yourself, the better you’ll feel.

Physical Health
Released June 2012 | Revised January 2018 by Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center.

This product is reviewed annually and is current until superseded. 800-870-9244 • dvbic.dcoe.mil

PUID 4774