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FACTSHEETS FOR FAMILIES | JULY 2020

Virtual Family Time: 

Tips for Families

WHAT'S INSIDE

Additional resources

Preparing for virtual family time

Family time, also known as parent-child visits, 

is critical to promoting family bonding and 

setting the stage for successful reunification. 

Although in-person contact is preferred, 

there are extreme occasions when in-person 

contact is not appropriate or safe, such 

as during the COVID-19 pandemic. Virtual 

family time, during which you contact your 

child through video, offers a safe alternative 

that allows parents and children to continue 

to strengthen their relationship while not 

living in the same home. Virtual contact has 

been used in other fields to link people with 

professionals, such as doctors or therapists, 

as well as connect parents and children 

who are apart, such as when parents are 

away in the military or incarcerated. Even 

though spending time with your child in 

person is preferred, virtual family time can 

still be fun, nurturing, and cherished when 

face-to-face meetings cannot occur. This 

factsheet provides parents with information 

about successful virtual family time sessions, 

including how to prepare, tips, and activities. 

Participating in virtual family time

Conclusion

Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 2

PREPARING FOR VIRTUAL 

FAMILY TIME

Although the goals of virtual family time are 

similar to in-person family time, it will still 

take some additional preparation to make 

sure everything goes smoothly. Before your 

first virtual family time session, you should 

have a meeting with your caseworker to 

discuss your expectations and concerns—

and theirs—and how the session will be run. 

When you talk with your caseworker, find 

out about the technology you'll need to 

participate, if there are any changes to when 

the sessions will occur and how long they will 

last, who will be present, what the back-up 

plan is if the virtual platform isn't working 

correctly, etc. You also may want to discuss 

activities for the session if you're nervous 

about what to do. (See Engaging Your Child 

During Virtual Family Time in this factsheet 

for tips and activities.) If you haven't met your 

child's foster parents yet, you can ask your 

caseworker to set up a meeting. This will allow 

you to get to know each other and talk about 

the virtual family time. 

If this is a change for you or your child, the 

switch to virtual family time may cause a 

variety of emotions, including disappointment, 

sadness, or nervousness. You also may be 

concerned about how virtual family time 

may affect when you will be able to reunify 

with your child or how your privacy will be 

protected during visits. Discuss these issues 

and concerns with your caseworker or other 

professionals who are supporting you, such as 

a therapist or attorney.

Additionally, depending on your living 

situation, it may be challenging to find a 

location that you feel comfortable sharing 

with others or that is private. If you have any 

concerns, speak with your caseworker so they 

can help you find an agreeable solution. 

The following sections go into more detail 

about some preparation activities for your 

virtual family time.

HAVING THE RIGHT TECHNOLOGY

In order to participate, you'll need three 

things: 

 A device that allows for video chats, such as 

a smartphone, computer/laptop, or tablet 

(such as an iPad) 

 The app that will be used (e.g., Zoom, Skype) 

 An internet connection (such as 

through Wi-Fi, your cell phone data plan, 

broadband, etc.)

If you do not have access to all three of these 

items, you should immediately contact your 

caseworker so they can help you obtain 

them. There may be resources available to 

help, such as EveryoneOn and the Federal 

Communications Commission Lifeline 

program as well as State and community 

programs. Remember, not all apps are 

available on every device, so you should make 

sure your device is able to download it.

If you haven't used the app or device before, 

you may want to schedule a test session with 

your caseworker or someone else to make 

sure everything runs smoothly. 
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 3

SCHEDULING THE SESSIONS

If the existing family time schedule doesn't 

work for you, let your caseworker know. 

During times of crisis, such as the COVID-19 

pandemic, your personal or work schedule 

may change, or your access to devices or the 

internet may be affected. It's also possible 

that your caseworker may want to adjust the 

schedule to better meet your child's needs. 

For example, younger children may have a 

shorter attention span for virtual family time, 

so shorter, more frequent visits may work 

better. If the schedule is adjusted, make sure 

your total weekly time remains the same. 

For example, if your case plan includes two 

weekly sessions for 1.5 hours each (3 hours 

total), it may be okay to have three 1-hour 

sessions per week for virtual family time 

(still 3 hours total). Also, if you have multiple 

children living in the same foster home, your 

caseworker may want to consider whether the 

virtual family time should occur with them 

separately or together. Depending on the 

children themselves and their age differences, 

it may be difficult for them to share a screen 

or get enough time with you. If you have 

questions or concerns about the schedule or 

ensuring you have enough contact with your 

children, speak with your caseworker and/or 

attorney.

FAMILY TIME SUPERVISION

Whether your family time is supervised or 

unsupervised may follow the same guidelines 

as in-person sessions, but it's possible 

that could change, either due to agency 

policy regarding virtual family time or the 

circumstances of the visit. For example, young 

children may not be able to participate in 

virtual family time on their own, so a foster 

parent, sibling, or someone else may need to 

assist. 

BACK-UP PLANS

Even if you and your caseworker have 

discussed how you will join the session and 

what to expect, you should still make sure 

there is a back-up plan in case there are any 

technological or other issues that pop up. For 

example, what will you do if your device is not 

working? Hanging up and calling back or 

restarting the call often fixes technical issues, 

but this may not resolve them every time. Is 

there another device you could use? Is there a 

back-up time set up? What if your child's or 

the caseworker's device isn't working? Are you 

able to switch to a phone call for the family 

time session? Hopefully everything will run 

smoothly, but it's best to have a plan in place 

for all the what-ifs. 

Video Chats and Young Children

Did you know that even children under 2 

years old can learn through video chats? 

Researchers have found that children 

under 2 can learn new words in video 

chats. Children under 2 also can pay 

attention and respond to these chats and 

later recognize someone in person who 

they had only previously met virtually. 

Also, even though the American Academy 

of Pediatrics discourages the use of 

screens for children under the age of 18 

months, it makes an exception for video 

chatting. 
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 4

PARTICIPATING IN VIRTUAL 

FAMILY TIME 

Although there are similarities between inperson and virtual family time, virtual family 

time will likely be a different experience than 

what you're used to or what you expected. 

This section provides tips to make virtual 

family time sessions run as smoothly as 

possible and tips and activities for spending 

time with your child during the sessions. 

GENERAL TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL VIRTUAL 

FAMILY TIME

These tips will help improve the 

communication you have with your child and 

others during virtual family time:

 Avoid bright lights (e.g., a sun-filled window, 

a large lamp) behind you to prevent 

backlighting, which can make it hard for 

others to see you on the screen.

 Make sure your device has enough battery 

charge to last throughout the visit and have 

a charger handy in case it runs out.

 Use nonverbal cues (e.g., hand gestures, 

nodding) in addition to talking. 

 Remember, however, that some nonverbal 

cues (e.g., subtle facial expressions, gestures 

that take place offscreen) may be harder for 

your child to see on a screen, which could 

lead to miscommunication.

 Remember to protect your privacy.

– Items in the background (e.g., papers 

with personal information) may be visible 

to others, so move items that are behind 

or next to you as needed.

– People nearby may be able to overhear 

conversations, so some participants 

may want to consider using a headset or 

earbuds with a microphone. This is not 

recommended for children age 3 and 

younger, and this may not be possible if 

multiple people need to listen at once.

 Reduce possible distractions around you 

(e.g., silence your phone's ringer, close the 

door if there are others in the home).

 Try not to multitask during the visit, which 

may frustrate your children.

 Try to place the camera so that it is pointed 

directly at your face. The supporting adult 

should ensure that the camera is picking up 

your child's face. If your child is young, such 

as a toddler, a mobile device (if available) 

may be helpful so that it’s easier to follow 

your child's movement.

 Gather any materials or props for the 

session (e.g., books, pictures).
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 5

ENGAGING YOUR CHILD DURING VIRTUAL 

FAMILY TIME

You may need to adjust how you interact 

with your child during virtual family time. To 

help better engage your child and increase 

their attentiveness, you can use a variety 

of strategies, including shifting how you 

communicate with your child, games, and 

other activities. Here are some tips for how 

you can better engage your child during 

virtual family time:

 Since you are not able to touch your child 

to show physical affection, you may need to 

emphasize other types of communication, 

such as facial expressions, smiling, and 

laughing. Additionally, you can describe 

or act out the physical touch (e.g., saying 

"mommy is hugging you right now" while 

hugging your arms around herself) or 

request that the foster parent use physical 

actions on their end that match what you 

are saying (e.g., hugging the child, wiggling 

your child's toes while you sing "this little 

piggy").

 For young children, you can use the same 

hello and goodbye routine each time to help 

frame the family time session and provide 

closure at the end. It may be helpful to 

have a goodbye ritual to help toddlers and 

young children experience the end of the 

visit in a positive way, such as encouraging 

the child—if old enough—to press the 

button that ends the session after they say 

goodbye out loud. It may take a few tries to 

find the best ritual for your child.

 Follow your child's lead. If they appear to 

be losing attention with one activity, move 

to another, or perhaps you could change 

locations (e.g., moving from the family room 

to a bedroom or outside). 

 Encourage your child to show affection 

across the screen (e.g., blow kisses).

Just as with in-person family time, a mix of 

talking and activities may help engage your 

child and strengthen your interactions. The 

activities you choose should reflect your 

child's age and developmental level. Your 

caseworker may be able to help you select 

appropriate activities, too. Here are some 

examples of activities parents can plan for 

their family time: 

 Ask the foster parent to place toys in the 

room with your child so you can watch and 

react to them playing.

 Use props, such as toys or other items from 

your home, to show your child.

 Sing or play music together.

 Have a snack or meal together.

 Read a book to your child or, if they can, 

have them read to you.

 Ask them to give you a tour of the home 

they're in or their room.

 Guide the child through an art project or 

color together.

 Bake or cook together (e.g., one person 

reads the recipe while the other takes the 

actions).
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 6

 Share jokes.

 Make up a story together (e.g., take turns

for each sentence).

 Use sound effects or different voices.

 Play games (e.g., I Spy With My Little Eye,

trivia, Pictionary, Boggle, freeze dance).

 Use the games or filters that may come with

the virtual platform.

For additional ideas, refer to the links in the 

Additional Resources section of this factsheet.

CONCLUSION

When crises or other situations prevent 

in-person family time, it is still incredibly 

important for you and your children to 

maintain contact to allow you to bond, share, 

and comfort each other. Virtual family time 

offers a temporary substitution in these 

times. Although some of the ways you spend 

time with your child during in-person visits 

may still apply to virtual family time, you 

should prepare for a new or different way 

to interact with your child. Even though the 

virtual family time experience will be different 

than being in the same place with your child, 

remember that the goal remains the same: to 

spend time with your child to strengthen your 

relationship and bring them home.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

 "Top Tips to Engage With Young Children

When Video Calling" (Court Appointed

Special Advocates for Children & Prevent

Child Abuse Arizona)

 "Top Ten Tips to Engage Children When

Video Calling" (Court Appointed Special

Advocates for Children & Prevent Child

Abuse Arizona)

 "Successful Video Visits With Young

Children" (National Council on Crime &

Delinquency)

 "13 Activities to Make the Most Out of Video

Chats With Kids" (PBS KIDS)

 "5 Tips to Make the Most of Video Chats"

(ZERO TO THREE)

SUGGESTED CITATION

Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2020). 

Virtual family time: Tips for families. 

Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health 

and Human Services, Administration for 

Children and Families, Children’s Bureau.

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information 

Gateway. This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets-families-familytime/.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Administration for Children and Families

Administration on Children, Youth and Families

Children’s Bureau