1

In the past, the prevailing advice for parents 

who adopted children of a race or culture 

different from theirs was to love and raise 

them from a “colorblind” perspective, as if 

the races and cultures of the children were 

not an important part of their identities. But 

adults who were raised with this approach 

and other experts say that when parents 

ignore their child’s racial and cultural origins, 

the journey to a healthy identity can be lonely, 

confusing, and even traumatic. Understanding 

and acknowledging differences in race and 

culture and playing an active role in creating 

a home and family life that reflect your child’s 

heritage are critical steps in parenting in 

diverse adoptive families.

This factsheet provides information to help 

you and your family support your child in 

developing a healthy racial and cultural 

identity and live a vibrant multicultural life. 

It discusses the importance of examining 

your thoughts and biases and preparing your 

child to live in a society where race has a 

major impact on individual lives. You can use 

this factsheet as a resource for information 

on some of the potential rewards and 

challenges that come with choosing to live a 

multicultural and multiracial family life.

Parenting in Racially and 

Culturally Diverse Adoptive 

Families

WHAT’S INSIDE

Supporting your child’s racial and cultural identity

Embracing life as a racially and culturally diverse 

family

Conclusion

Developing strategies to prepare your child for 

racism 

Additional resources

FACTSHEETS FOR FAMILIES | SEPTEMBER 2020

References

Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 2

Common Terms for Racially and Culturally Diverse Adoptive Families 

An adoption in which adoptive parents are of a different race and/or culture from their children 

is usually referred to as a “transracial adoption” or “transcultural adoption.” Adoption agencies, 

your child’s caseworker, or other child welfare professionals may use these terms when discussing 

relevant training or services to support your family. But, for many people, these terms do not 

address the depth or complexities associated with their lived experience. For the purposes of this 

publication, we use “racially and culturally diverse families” to best describe the common realities 

of people raised in such families.

Race, culture, and ethnicity are terms that we often confuse; we think they mean the same thing, 

but they are different. 

• Race is a concept developed by society to give groups of people more power than others. 

Race is not based on genetics or science. 

• Culture is taught to us by other human beings. Generally speaking, we learn culture by 

speaking with and learning from our elders, people who pass down and share information, 

generation to generation. While this factsheet focuses on race and culture, it also 

acknowledges the significance of ethnicity for children and parents in racially and culturally 

diverse adoptive families.

• Ethnicity has to do with nationality. A person can be classified as Asian, but that doesn’t tell us 

their ethnicity. Korean, Chinese, and Indian are all Asian, but all are different ethnicities. 

Resources for racially and culturally diverse families are available from Information Gateway on its 

Adoption by Family Type: Racially and Culturally Diverse Families webpage. 
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 3

SUPPORTING YOUR CHILD’S 

RACIAL AND CULTURAL IDENTITY

Helping your child develop their identity is 

among the most important roles you’ll play 

in parenting a child. Identity develops over 

time and in response to life experiences. As 

the starting point of your child’s search for 

their place in the world, you need to develop 

strategies and remain diligent in your child’s 

progress toward a positive and healthy 

identity. Your child’s racial and cultural 

identity is an important part of their overall 

identity, as significant to them as racial and 

cultural identity is to you and all human 

beings. 

Racial and cultural identity is molded by 

a variety of experiences, both within and 

outside the family. It is critical that your 

individual identity does not dominate your 

child’s understanding of their identity. 

Understanding your racial and cultural 

identity and engaging your child in 

frank discussions about interactions and 

experiences will help provide an important 

understanding of what they think and feel 

and will help to promote their healthy sense 

of self-worth and personal identity. But it is 

also very important to recognize that racism 

exists. Children of color who are members of 

racial groups targeted by people using social 

myths to exert power need help recognizing 

racist behavior, so when it is directed toward 

them or others, they know that it is wrong 

and not their faults.

EXPLORING YOUR RACIAL AND 

CULTURAL IDENTITY

To help your child understand their racial and 

cultural identity, you need to understand your 

own. Especially for parents who are part of 

the dominant culture, developing that 

awareness takes self-exploration, 

understanding the environment you live in, 

and considering what that means for the 

needs of your child. Exploring the realities of 

race and the differences between races and 

how they impact individual lives in your 

culture will help you understand your own 

biases and prejudices. This may allow you to 

act in ways that can transform your family’s 

usual way of doing things (Jackson & Samuels, 

2019).

In exploring your racial and cultural identity, 

it will help to be familiar with the following 

terms that affect how you parent a child of 

another race/culture: 

Multiracial/multicultural parenting:

An approach to parenting children from 

different racial and cultural backgrounds that 

honors your child’s race and culture in your 

existing family system; identifies strategies 

to help your child develop a positive and 

proud identity; and helps your child and 

family prepare for racism, including cultural 

humility, implicit bias, microaggressions, and 

colorism (see the definitions that follow)

Cultural humility: Recognition of the 

importance of listening to learn about, honor, 

and incorporate children’s cultural identity 

and respecting families from varying races, 

religions, ethnicities, and economic statuses; 

understanding that you are always evolving—

“Even if you aren’t attached to your 

own racial or cultural origins, how 

you socialize and condition within 

your family and community can 

reinforce negative feelings about 

race and culture.”—Jackson

& Samuels, 2019
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 4

emotionally, socially, and intellectually—and 

the more open you are to new ideas, the more 

you will understand an individual’s culture; 

respecting differences in values of children 

and birth families; and acknowledging that 

learning about other cultures is an ongoing 

process. Reflections on Cultural Humility offers 

extensive definitions of cultural humility. 

Implicit bias: Unconscious attitudes toward 

others often based on stereotypes that 

contradict a person’s conscious beliefs. We 

all carry implicit bias, no matter our race 

or the impact of racism we have personally 

experienced. Learning to recognize it in 

ourselves is important to avoid the negative 

effects of the way we will otherwise 

inadvertently understand and represent 

children. Project Implicit offers free online 

tests that may reveal information you do not 

know about your own biases.

Microaggressions: Common daily insults, 

invalidations, slights, or attitudes that 

communicate hostile racial judgments. 

Microaggressions can be intentional or 

unintentional and can focus on race, culture, 

and adoption status. “If Microaggressions 

Happened to White People” shows how people 

of color deal with racial microaggressions 

every day.

Colorism: Discrimination based on skin color 

and valuing one skin color or shade over 

another, whether within your family, racial or 

cultural group, or across groups. “Colorism: 

The Difference Between Racism and Colorism” 

discusses the impact skin color has on 

everyday life. 

If you’re a white parent adopting a child of 

another race, refer to White Parents Identity

to learn about how your relationship to race 

and identity affects your child and family. 

Also, listen to “A Mother Reflects on Privilege, 

Adoption and Parenting ‘Without Perfection’” 

to hear one adoptive mother talk about how 

raising two black sons—one adopted from 

foster care and the other from Haiti—and two 

white birth daughters helped her understand 

white privilege.

All parents adopting a child of another race or 

culture may benefit from taking a family selfassessment regarding transracial adoption. 

Pact, An Adoption Alliance, offers for purchase 

Below the Surface: A Self-Evaluation Guide 

for Anyone Considering or Participating in 

Adoption Across Racial and Cultural Lines to 

help you think about how your attitudes about 

race and culture may affect how you parent in 

a multicultural family.

Refer to Proactive Engagement: The Adoptive 

Parent’s Responsibility When Parenting a Child 

of a Different Race from the National Council 

For Adoption for more helpful information 

to support your child’s identity, including 

a suggested framework that you can follow 

based on your child’s age and developmental 

stage.

HEALTHY RACIAL AND CULTURAL 

IDENTITY FORMATION

Healthy racial and cultural identity involves 

positive esteem for yourself and others who 

share your racial and cultural background. 

Helping your child develop a healthy identity 

requires you to take an intentional and 

ongoing role. It may be difficult for children 

from other countries to develop a healthy 

sense of self without immersion in the culture 

of their birth countries. Similarly, immersion 

in a social group that shares a child’s ethnic 

and cultural experiences may be equally 

important. For example, a child born in China 

needs to have people in her life who can help 

her understand not only what it means to be 

Chinese but also Chinese American. 
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 5

Children who have been adopted and youth 

whose parents do not share their race need 

their adoptive parents to not only help them 

build relationships with people who share 

their racial and cultural heritage but to 

develop those relationships for themselves as 

well. Children should never feel like they are 

the exception in their own life. This means 

that parents must also connect to the local 

communities of their child’s racial group. 

Your children should know that they have 

the freedom and flexibility to explore these 

relationships openly and independently 

as well. This is how children form allies 

and mentors from groups with whom they 

identify. Remember, that means connecting 

to adults who share their racial experience, 

not just other children. Assure your children 

that having a healthy racial or cultural identity 

does not mean they are rejecting you as their 

adoptive parents or your family’s heritage and 

traditions. They deserve to explore all their 

identities, both that of their adoptive family 

but also that of their birth family.

“International Adoptions and Connecting to a 

Local Community” shares advices for parents 

of a child adopted from abroad on how to help 

their child understand and learn about his or 

her different culture.

For children of color, healthy identity 

development requires coping skills that build 

resilience against hurtful societal messages, 

particularly messages that idealize the white 

race, even among people of color. For children 

of color adopted into families of a different 

race and culture, this means that they have a 

basic and developing connection to the race 

and culture of their birth. They understand 

the complexity of identity, in an ageappropriate way, and they are proud of the 

racial differences between them and their 

adoptive parents and siblings. Communities of 

color have many strong and positive legacies 

that often go untaught in school or 

mainstream culture, which tends to focus on 

Eurocentric history. Children need to have 

positive images and messages about their 

history and their communities to 

counterbalance the negative messages. For a 

child to achieve this strong and healthy 

identity, the entire family needs to love these 

racial and cultural differences and engage in 

ways that enhance their own identities 

(Dinwoodie, 2016).

Every child is on an individual journey to form 

a racial identity. A child adopted as an infant, 

for example, and a child adopted as a schoolaged child will have different connections to 

their birth communities. Early memories may 

positively resonate with some children while 

others may feel a fundamental disconnection 

that creates pain and confusion surrounding 

identity. To help your child on this journey, you 

can:

 Go beyond superficial cultural differences.

Merely celebrating Chinese New Year

or Kwanzaa, eating Ethiopian food, or

watching an occasional video with Latino

characters does not provide the human

connections required for your child to build

and maintain a real sense of belonging to

and ownership of their cultural heritage.

“We need to really see a child to 

show them love; and when we see 

them, we have to see all parts of 

what make them who they are. We 

have to celebrate all parts...so when 

they look in the mirror they love 

what they see.”—Dinwoodie, 2016
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 6

 Represent your child’s racial and cultural 

heritage in meaningful ways, including 

through the people who come into 

your home and in your child’s school 

environment. 

 Integrate culturally relevant traditions, 

holidays, and rituals into daily home life 

for the whole family so your child can see 

themselves in a multitude of ways and 

know that their cultural traditions are 

valued and considered as important as your 

own. Consider also buying toys and books, 

listening to music, and watching movies 

that reflect your child’s heritage. 

 Know what life is like on a day-to-day 

basis for your child. Know the possible 

danger that your child faces, particularly 

as a teenager and young adult of color (e.g., 

bullying by classmates, unfair punishment 

in school, being pulled over by the police).

As your child grows older, they will mature, ask 

questions, and explore their sense of racial and 

cultural belonging. They will determine who 

their true peers are and grapple with how they 

do and do not fit in with their adoptive family 

and with communities outside that family. 

Most people do not grow up without racial 

role models in their family, so adopted children 

have a different experience that deserves 

to be acknowledged. You can help them by 

recognizing the identity issues they face and 

supporting open lines of communication. Some 

children and youth may find support in peer 

counseling groups in which they can talk with 

other adoptees in diverse families.

For more tips on race and identity 

development, refer to the following resources:

 “Race and Identity in Transracial Adoption: 

Suggestions for Adoptive Parents” offers 

tips on exploring racial identity and its 

impact on international adoption. 

 “Transracial Adoption: Love Is Just the 

Beginning” shares how one family handles 

being a family of African American, Native 

American, Latino, and European American 

individuals. 

 “The Realities of Raising a Kid of a Different 

Race” discusses possible dangers children 

of color encounter in their daily lives.

EXTENDED FAMILY AND CREATING A 

FAMILY IDENTITY 

Most parents do not choose to adopt children 

of a different race without a great deal of 

thought and preparation. Yet many parents 

ask their extended families to do just that. 

While you may have considered the reactions 

and feelings of your relatives as part of your 

home study process, these feelings may 

not have been fully resolved. Some in your 

extended family will need to get used to the 

adoption, especially if they have not been 

involved in the process. Give them time to 

adjust and to learn about your child. If anyone 

in your extended family simply cannot accept 

your child as a family member, remember that 

every child deserves to be safe from racism 

in the haven of their family. You may need to 

assess whether this is a time to restructure 

your relationship with this person to protect 

your child from ongoing contact that might be 

damaging. 

Creating a strong family identity requires 

that all members feel included. Having a clear 

sense of family identity also may help you and 

your child decide how to respond to questions 

and comments from outsiders (see Developing 

Strategies to Prepare Your Child for Racism).
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 7

EMBRACING LIFE AS A RACIALLY 

AND CULTURALLY DIVERSE 

FAMILY

As a parent, you can make sure that you and 

your child have as many opportunities as 

possible to interact with people of your child’s 

race and culture and to develop a positive 

self-image. Your children may be more likely 

to feel connected and comfortable when their 

circle of playmates, peers, and trusted adults 

includes people who look like them, and you 

will learn much about your child’s cultural 

community by being with other parents and 

adults who share your child’s race or ethnicity. 

Much of how a child’s identity develops is 

influenced by immersion and exposure and 

encountering those who are around them. 

They internalize what they see and what 

they experience. They can learn the language 

and cultural mores of people they look like 

and with whom they share a racial identity, 

allowing them to codeswitch as they need 

or choose. This affects their self-esteem and 

sense of identity. They can learn important 

life lessons from adults of their same race 

about being a person of a particular race in 

American society. They may experience—with 

both children and adults—positive social 

interactions and behaviors that can help 

them understand and believe they are fully 

members of their racial group, rather than 

feeling like outsiders. This section provides 

suggestions for ways to build a multicultural 

and multiracial life for your child and your 

family.

TALKING ABOUT RACE AND CULTURE

Talking about race can be difficult, but it’s 

especially important for adoptive parents of 

children from another race or culture. If you 

assume there are no differences between 

races and cultures, or shouldn’t be, you 

Training and Related Skills for 

Parenting in Racially and Culturally 

Diverse Families

The Children’s Bureau awarded a 

grant to Spaulding for Children to 

develop the National Training and 

Development Curriculum for Foster and 

Adoptive Parents (NTDC). The NTDC 

training program and curriculum is in 

development and will be pilot tested and 

evaluated in various States and a Tribal 

community. NTDC will be designed for 

families who are adopting through an 

intercountry or private domestic process 

as well as those fostering and/or adopting 

in the public child welfare system. 

Adoptive families who participate in the 

NTDC training program can expect to 

achieve greater levels of competence in 

caring for children who have experienced 

trauma, separation, and loss. 

To provide adoptive parents the training, 

knowledge, and ongoing skills they need 

to effectively parent children and youth 

from other races or countries, NTDC has 

identified several areas of knowledge 

and skills that apply directly to parents 

who adopt children who are of another 

race/culture. Courses include Multiracial/

Multicultural Parenting and Cultural 

Humility. 

The final curriculum will be available for 

free across the United States in 2022.
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 8

may create relational distance, silence, and 

mistrust between you and your child (Jackson 

& Samuels, 2019). Talk about race and your 

child’s cultural heritage in positive terms, 

beginning when your child is very young or 

whenever your child joins your family. By the 

time your child starts school, they will need 

tools to answer questions by themselves, 

including appropriate racial terms. You 

can make them aware of terms that are 

inappropriate and unacceptable, so that they 

can recognize them and consider how to 

respond. 

If you start the conversation when your child 

is young, when they’re older they will have a 

level of comfort in discussing more complex 

issues, coping skills, and risks of living in a 

society where race affects how people are 

treated. It may be helpful to discuss key 

historical events around race and culture. Use 

these events to provide context for the racism 

they encounter. 

Visit the National Museum of African 

American History and Culture (NMAAHC) 

webpage, Talking About Race, for digital 

tools and other resources to help you have 

constructive talks on race topics including 

bias, antiracism, racial identity, and systemic 

oppression. Although NMAAHC focuses 

on African American culture, many of the 

resources and concepts apply broadly across 

race and culture.

Talking Race With Young Children offers 

tips for conversations about race, racism, 

diversity, and inclusion.

“Talking About Race With Our Children, 

Whatever Their Race” offers suggestions 

about raising children of another race from a 

white adoptive mother of a Latina daughter 

and a Black son.

“Raising a Child of Color in America—While 

White” offers parents a three-step process to 

talk with their children about the realities of 

racism.

“How White Parents Can Talk About Race 

With Their Children of Color” provides advice 

to guide discussions about race in multiracial 

families.

LIFE WITHIN YOUR COMMUNITY AND 

MAKING CONNECTIONS

Take a look at your community and 

surroundings and ask yourself how 

reflective it is of your child and whether 

it is welcoming and comfortable for your 

child and family. This involves looking at 

your extended environment—for example, 

your neighborhood, stores where you shop, 

community organizations and social groups, 

places of worship, health care providers, 

Ongoing Contact With Your Child’s 

Birth Family

Nowadays, it’s common and encouraged 

that adoptive and birth families maintain 

some level of ongoing contact with each 

other. In diverse adoptive families, regular 

contact may be especially important 

because the birth parents or other birth 

relatives represent the child’s race and 

heritage. Birth family relationships may be 

complex for the child, however, especially 

if the birth family is the only representation 

of the child’s race and culture. For more 

information on maintaining contact 

between adoptive and birth families, 

read Information Gateway’s Helping Your 

Adopted Children Maintain Important 

Relationships With Family.
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 9

and schools. Children tend to do better 

academically and socially when they are not 

the only person of their own race in their 

town, classroom, and other areas where they 

spend a lot of time.

Schools are particularly important as most 

children spend a significant portion of their 

developmental years there—dealing with 

peers, making friends, and learning from 

teachers and others. Consider all aspects of 

your child’s school experience, including the 

curriculum, faculty, and student diversity, 

to determine what kind of fit the school will 

be for your child. Consider what you can 

supplement at home and what you cannot. 

Often the experience of being immersed in 

their own racial group is not something that 

is easily found outside of the school or other 

important social settings. Also, in school and 

at other places outside of the home, your 

child may learn the cultural norms of their 

own group. Exposure to peers and adults who 

share their racial and cultural heritage will 

make their response to identity issues less 

difficult. You can take the opportunity not 

only to expose but to actively involve your 

child and your entire family in groups where 

his or her race or ethnic culture is shared 

by most of the participants. This may mean 

driving to another neighborhood or attending 

events and being part of teams or activities in 

another part of town.

Similarly, your family’s neighborhood may 

limit your child’s access to role models of the 

same race or culture that can help nurture 

their healthy identity development (Jackson & 

Samuels, 2019). Awareness of visible racial and 

ethnic differences starts at an early age, so it’s 

important to have connections to people who 

look like your child; otherwise your child

may assume that you prefer people of your 

own race. If your life and social activities do 

not already include significant connections 

to people who are the same race or culture 

as your child, it will take time to create and 

nurture these connections. Suggestions for 

doing this include the following:

 Finding a local community organization or 

a social, religious, or recreational group 

that includes adults of your child’s ethnic 

or racial background and where you can 

participate as a family on a regular basis. 

Ideally, this group should have a majority 

of adults who share your child’s ethnic or 

racial background. 

 Making a conscious effort to expand your 

usual social activities to include more 

people whose race and culture are different 

from yours. You may also want to identify 

an informal mentor for yourself from 

your child’s racial or ethnic group. These 

activities may begin to prepare you to 

teach your child about different people and 

different ways of life.

“[My husband] didn’t see his 

parents subjectively experience 

racism. He did however get to see 

his parents fight racism through 

their active involvement in social 

justice issues. For me racism is one 

of those realities I expected would 

happen but hoped never would 

happen. So when it happened, I 

wasn’t surprised. It is the world 

that we live in.”—Roorda, 2015
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 10

 Locating a specific place in your 

community, such as a school, playground, 

social group, or parent network, where your 

child will be able to play with other children 

of different races and backgrounds, 

including children who share your child’s 

racial heritage. Find other parents to talk 

with about raising a child of your child’s 

race in your community. Be sure that at 

least some of the parents you approach 

include those who are parenting children 

who are born to them. While there is also 

great benefit to adoptive parent groups, it is 

important not to limit your connections to 

those parents.

 Creating a list of types of professionals 

you may need as a parent, for example, 

pediatricians, dentists, ethnic-specific 

hair care salons, or child care providers, 

then reviewing this list to see where you 

can find providers of your child’s heritage 

to meet your family’s needs. Asking other 

parents of your child’s race or culture for 

recommendations can be a great way to 

start off the conversations that may lead to 

making connections. 

 Finding TV series, podcasts, or books that 

are targeted to members of your child’s 

race—and being sure to watch, listen to, or 

read regularly. This may even mean learning 

a new language. Begin collecting children’s 

books, family videos, and art for your home 

that reflect your child’s culture and diverse 

families and people in general. Find as 

many different local resources for these 

products as you can, as this may give you 

other opportunities to interact with people 

from a wide variety of races, ethnicities, and 

cultures.

DEVELOPING STRATEGIES TO 

PREPARE YOUR CHILD FOR 

RACISM

Although race is not supported by science, 

the concept of race is real, and it has a real 

impact on life in society. Societies use race to 

create and reinforce racism, including class 

systems of power and privilege that benefit 

some and exclude or deny others (NMAAHC, 

2020). Furthermore, American society’s 

historic preference for racial sameness in 

Special Note About Adopting an 

Older Child

Older children bring their previous 

life experiences to their new adoptive 

families. If you adopt an older child, they 

will be making a transition not only to 

new caregivers but also to being part of 

a family and perhaps a neighborhood 

and community of a different race and/

or culture than their own. In this case, 

your child may have already formed an 

identity and may need time to develop 

a comfort zone with people of your race. 

It is important to maintain the positive 

connections that already exist in your 

child’s life. As much as the child will 

need to adjust to life in your family and 

neighborhood, you and your family can 

help by incorporating connections to your 

child’s former neighborhood and friends. 

If those connections are lost, children may 

internalize the message that permanence 

and membership in a safe family are 

somehow not associated with people of 

their own race.
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 11

families prejudges racially and culturally 

diverse adoptive families (Jackson & Samuels, 

2019). Strangers may make remarks or ask 

questions about your family because they see 

that you and your children do not look alike. 

Others may make racist comments. You need 

to prepare your children and yourself for both 

situations. 

“Adopted Child: Strangers Asking Questions”

explains how to respond when strangers ask 

intrusive questions about your child.

ADDRESSING AND FIGHTING AGAINST 

RACISM

Your job as a parent is to be part of difficult 

talks with your children and to let them know 

that it’s okay to struggle with topics of race 

openly. It is important to talk with your child 

about race and racism before they experience 

prejudice. Remember for children of color 

this is a matter of when, not if. You may worry 

that if you point out differences or talk about 

racism, your child will feel less connected to 

you or be more likely to become a victim of 

racism instead of developing inner strength. 

But if parents are not able to discuss racial 

bias and differences, their children will be left 

to grapple with these critical issues alone with 

a limited world view and what they learn from 

society. 

Your child needs to learn how to respond to 

the racism they may experience in different 

circumstances and from people with whom 

your child has relationships. For instance, 

responses to peers may be different from 

responses to authority figures or adult family 

members. These responses may range from 

ignoring the comment to seeking help or 

support from others to confronting the 

person or the system.

Children ask lots of questions as they notice 

people of different races, and these questions 

can prompt you to respond in the following 

ways:

 “When people of one race get better things 

or better treatment, that is called racism. 

Our family doesn’t think racism is okay. No 

one is better or should be treated better 

than anyone else.”

 “Some people prefer to be around others 

who are like them. Sometimes, they try to 

get their own way by making it harder for 

people who are different.”

 “Some people call people of different races 

bad names or mistreat them in other ways. 

If you hear this happen or it happens to 

you, it is wrong, and I would like to help. 

Let me tell you a story about something I 

heard, and let’s brainstorm some things that 

I could say to help.”

You are an important role model for your 

children against the effects of racism. Some 

strategies to address and fight against racism 

include the following: 

 Fill your child with positive remarks and 

feelings about who they are and help them 

to practice responding to racist comments. 

 Talk about race and your child’s cultural 

heritage in positive terms beginning when 

your child is very young or whenever your 

child joins your family. This may help to 

build self-esteem that your child can draw 

on when he or she is older.

 Educate yourself and your child about 

the positive values of your child’s cultural 

history. Point out positive role models who 

are from the same culture as your child’s. 
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 12

 Make clear your commitment to fight 

racism. Replace negative meanings of 

race and multiracial identity with positive 

messages. Confirm that racist things 

happen, and that while they hurt everyone 

of all races, they especially hurt people who 

are the target of the racism. Work with 

your family to promote equality across the 

board—not just when it involves your child. 

Emphasize not only your refusal to engage 

in racist activities or language, but also your 

commitment to actively fight racism. 

 Make a clear and visible commitment to 

authentically loving people of other races.

Visit the NMAAHC Being Antiracist webpage 

to learn about types of racism, questions 

to ask yourself, and how to handle racist 

situations. For additional learning materials 

on antiracism, including books and essays, 

visit the website of Ibram X. Kendi, one of 

America’s foremost historians and leading 

voices on antiracism.

FAMILY RESPONSE TO OUTSIDERS’

QUESTIONS

You do not owe strangers the answer to any 

question, but you may give your child, your 

child’s siblings, and yourself permission to 

handle intrusive questions like “Where did 

he come from?” and “Whose child is he?” 

Talk with your children about strategies 

and responses they might want to try. You 

may not be with your children when they 

encounter outsiders’ questions or remarks, 

so it’s important that they know appropriate 

ways to respond. 

The W.I.S.E. Up! Powerbook curriculum 

provides practical guidance and specific 

examples that teach school-age children how 

to W(alk away), I(gnore), S(hare), or E(ducate) 

in response to questions or remarks from 

outsiders. The goal of this curriculum is to 

teach children that they have control over 

how they respond to outsiders about their 

adoption experience. By working together to 

come up with a range of ideas about handling 

attention and curiosity from others, children 

and parents can be allies, reinforcing a feeling 

of belonging, and counteracting the message 

of isolation that can otherwise undermine 

children’s sense of connection. 

The W.I.S.E. Up! Powerbook is available for 

purchase from the Center for Adoption 

Support and Education (C.A.S.E.). C.A.S.E. also 

offers for purchase a webinar, “W.I.S.E. Up! 

for Parents: Empowering Children to Handle 

Questions/Comments About Adoption.”

CONCLUSION 

As adoptive parents to a child of another 

race or culture, consider what you may do 

differently in and out of your home to meet 

your child’s needs and help them develop a 

healthy racial and cultural identity. Develop 

comfortable ways to talk with your children 

in age-appropriate conversations about 

diversity. Such conversations may support 

your diverse family’s sense of unity, especially 

if your children feel isolated because they 

look different or they are in situations where 

they feel they need to explain or even defend 

the composition of their family. If you have 

many friends of different races and cultures, 

your child will see that you value people of 

different backgrounds. If together your family 

develops a family identity that celebrates 

the individual members and the strengths of 

the unit, you and your children will be better 

prepared to face the challenges that the 

outside world may present.
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 13

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 

The following resources are for parents 

considering or already in racially and 

culturally diverse families:

Child Welfare Information Gateway. Includes 

several web sections on racially and culturally 

diverse families: 

 Adoption by Family Type: Racially and 

Culturally Diverse Families

 Adopting Children From Another Country

 After Intercountry Adoption

 Perspectives of People Raised in Racially 

and Culturally Diverse Families

Pact, an Adoption Alliance. Offers resources, 

support, and community for adoptive families 

to children of color. 

Transracial Parenting Training. The North 

American Council on Adoptable Children 

offers parents training on race and cultural 

issues involved in adopting a child of another 

race and/or culture.

NPR’s Code Switch podcast. Covers the 

overlap of race, ethnicity, and culture—how 

they play out in our lives and communities 

and how all of this is shifting.

EmbraceRace. Provides parents with articles, 

webinars, action guides, podcasts, and other 

resources to meet the challenges they face 

raising children of color in a world where race 

matters. 

ARTICLES

 “4 Unique Challenges Faced By Transracial 

Adoptees” addresses unique challenges 

experienced by adoptees and services as a 

guide for hopeful parents planning to adopt 

a child of a different race. 

 “25 Helpful Resources for Transracial 

Adoptive Families” includes links to books, 

podcasts, articles, videos, films, and TV 

series as well as organizations to follow on 

social media.

 “Transracial & Transcultural Adoption: 

Preservation, Policy, and a Personal 

Perspective” provides historical background 

of intercountry adoption in the U.S. and 

the personal story of an African American 

woman who was raised in a multiracial and 

multicultural family and is now parenting in 

a multicultural family.

 “How to Be an Anti-Racist Adoptive Parent” 

teaches parents how to talk with their 

children about systemic racism and commit 

to working toward justice.

 “Debunking the Most Common Myths 

White People Tell About Race” addresses 

common excuses white people make about 

race and how to respond.

The Adopted Life Episodes, a web series 

created by a transracial adoptee, Angela 

Tucker, features one-on-one conversations 

between herself and transracially adopted 

youth with the goal to elevate the adoptee 

voice and provide trustworthy open-source 

content to the public.

CELEBRITY VIDEOS

 Aaron Judge is a baseball player who writes 

about being adopted as an infant by a white 

couple.

 Colin Kaepernick is a former NFL player 

who was adopted at 5 weeks old by a white 

couple and talks about being adopted.
Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS | 800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov 14

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information 

Gateway. This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/parenting-diverse-families.

REFERENCES

Dinwoodie, A. (2016). Attention adoptive 

parents: Have you started a conversation 

about race? In S. O’Connor, D. Christian, & 

M. Ellerman (Eds.), Black anthology: Adult 

adoptees claim their space (1st ed., pp.65–68). 

Jackson, K. F., & Samuels, G. M. (2019). 

Multiracial cultural attunement. NASW 

Press.

National Museum of African American History 

and Culture. (2020). Race and racial 

identity. https://nmaahc.si.edu/learn/

talking-about-race/topics/race-andracial-identity

Roorda, R. M. (2015). In their voices: Black 

Americans on transracial adoption.

Columbia University Press.

SUGGESTED CITATION:

Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2020). 

Parenting in racially and culturally diverse 

adoptive families. Washington, DC: U.S. 

Department of Health and Human Services, 

Administration for Children and Families, 

Children’s Bureau.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Administration for Children and Families

Administration on Children, Youth and Families

Children’s Bureau