Helping Children and Adolescents 

Cope with Violence and Disasters

For Parents of Children Exposed to Violence or Disaster

What Parents Can Do

From the National Institute of Mental Health

Violence or natural disasters can cause trauma in young people.

Trauma is hurt or harm. It can be hurt to a person’s body. It can be 

harm to a person’s mind. The National Institute of Mental Health 

(NIMH) works to help children who experience trauma. Other Federal 

agencies also provide help. 

Parents and family members play important roles. They help children 

who experience violence or disaster. They help children cope with trauma. 

They help protect children from further trauma. They help children get 

medical care and counseling. They also help young people avoid or 

overcome emotional problems. These problems can result from trauma.

This fact sheet provides steps parents 

can take. It gives information on: 

 2 Coping with Trauma after violence 

and disasters 

 3 What is Trauma?

 4 Helping Young Trauma Survivors 

 6 How Parents Can Help 

 8 Help for all people in the First 

Days and Weeks 

 9 How Children React to Trauma

Children under 5 

Children Age 6-11 

Adolescents Ages 12-17

13 More about Trauma and Stress 

16 Additional Resources
Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters

Coping with Trauma After Violence and Disasters

Disasters cause major damage. Hurricanes Katrina and Rita were examples. 

They occurred in 2005. Many homes were destroyed. Whole communities 

were damaged. Many survivors were displaced. There were also 

many deaths. 

Trauma is also caused by major acts of violence. The September 11, 2001 

terrorist attacks were examples. Another example was the 1999 shootings 

at Columbine High School in Colorado. The Oklahoma City bombing in 

1995 was also an example. These acts claim lives. They also threaten our 

sense of security.

Beyond these events, children face many other traumas. Each year, they 

are injured. They see others harmed by violence. They suffer sexual abuse. 

They lose loved ones. Or, they witness other tragic events. 

Children are very sensitive. They struggle to make sense of trauma. They 

also respond differently to traumas. They may have emotional reactions. 

They may hurt deeply. They may find it hard to recover from frightening 

experiences. They need support. Adult helpers can provide this support. 

This may help children resolve emotional problems.
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What Parents Can Do

What is Trauma?

There are two types of trauma – physical and mental. Physical trauma 

includes the body’s response to serious injury and threat. Mental trauma 

includes frightening thoughts and painful feelings. They are the mind’s 

response to serious injury. Mental trauma can produce strong feelings. 

It can also produce extreme behavior; such as intense fear or helplessness, 

withdrawal or detachment, lack of concentration, irritability, sleep 

disturbance, aggression, hyper vigilance (intensely watching for more 

distressing events), or flashbacks (sense that event is reoccurring).

A response could be fear. One could fear that a loved one will be hurt or 

killed. It is believed that more direct exposures to traumatic events causes 

greater harm. For instance, in a school shooting, an injured student will 

probably be more severely affected emotionally than a student who 

was in another part of the building. However, second-hand exposure 

to violence can also be traumatic. This includes witnessing violence such 

as seeing or hearing about death and destruction after a building is 

bombed or a plane crashes.
Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters

Helping Young Trauma Survivors

Helping children begins at the scene of the event. It may need to continue 

for weeks or months.

Most children recover within a few weeks. Some need help longer. Grief 

(a deep emotional response to loss) may take months to resolve. It could 

be for a loved one or a teacher. It could be for a friend or pet. Grief may 

be re-experienced or worsened by news reports or the event’s anniversary.

Some children may need help from a mental health professional. Some 

people may seek other kinds of help. They may turn to religious leaders. 

They may turn to community leaders.

Identify children who need the most support. Help them obtain it. 

Monitor their healing. 


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What Parents Can Do

 Identify Children Who: 

Refuse to go places that remind them of the event 

Seem numb emotionally 

Show little reaction to the event 

Behave dangerously

 These children may need extra help.

In general adult helpers should:

Attend to children

Listen to them 

Accept/ do not argue about their feelings 

Help them cope with the reality of their experiences

Reduce effects of other stressors like

Frequent moving or changes in place of residence 

Long periods away from family and friends 

Pressures at school 

Transportation problems 

Fighting within the family 

Being hungry

Monitor healing

It takes time 

Do not ignore severe reactions 

Attend to sudden changes in behaviors, language 

use, or in emotional/feeling states

Remind children that adults 

Love them 

Support them 

Will be with them when possible.
Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters

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How Parents Can Help

After violence or a disaster parents and family should:

Identify and address their own feelings – 

this will allow them to help others

Explain to children what happened

Let children know:

You love them 

The event was not their fault

You will take care of them, but only if you can; 

be honest

It’s okay for them to feel upset

Do:

Allow children to cry 

Allow sadness

Let children talk about feelings

Let them write about feelings 

Let them draw pictures

Children are very sensitive. 

They struggle to make sense of trauma.
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What Parents Can Do

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Don’t:

Expect children to be brave or tough 

Make children discuss the event before they are ready

Get angry if children show strong emotions

Get upset if they begin: 

Bed-wetting

Acting out 

Thumb-sucking

Other tips:

If children have trouble sleeping: 

Give them extra attention 

Let them sleep with a light on 

Let them sleep in your room (for a short time)

Try to keep normal routines (such routines may not 

be normal for some children): 

Bed-time stories 

Eating dinner together 

Watching TV together 

Reading books, exercising, playing games

If you can’t keep normal routines, make new 

ones together

Help children feel in control: 

Let them choose meals, if possible

Let them pick out clothes, if possible 

Let them make some decisions for themselves, 

 when possible. 
 

Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters

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Help for all people in the First Days and Weeks

Key steps after a disaster can help adults cope. Adults can then provide 

better care for children. Create an environment of safety. Be calm. 

Be hopeful. Be friendly, even if people are difficult. Connect to others. 

Listen to their stories. But, listen only if they want to share. Encourage 

respect for adult decision-making. 

In general help people: 

Get food 

Get a safe place to live 

Get help from a doctor or nurse if hurt 

Contact loved ones or friends 

Keep children with parents or relatives 

Become aware of available help 

Become aware of where to get help 

Understand what happened 

Understand what is being done 

Move towards meeting their own needs

Avoid certain things

Don’t force people to tell their stories 

Don’t probe for personal details 

Do not say 

“Everything will be OK.” 

“ At least you survived.” 

What you think people should feel 

How people should have acted 

People suffered for personal behaviors or beliefs 

Negative things about available help

Don’t make promises that you can’t keep 

(Ex: “You will go home soon”). 
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What Parents Can Do

How Children React to Trauma

Children’s reactions to trauma can be immediate. Reactions may also 

appear much later. Reactions differ in severity. They also cover a range 

of behaviors. People from different cultures may have their own ways 

of reacting. Other reactions vary according to age.

One common response is loss of trust. Another is fear of the event 

reoccurring. Some children are more vulnerable to trauma’s effects. Children 

with existing mental health problems may be more affected. Children who 

have experienced other traumatic events may be more affected. 

Children’s reactions to trauma can be 

immediate or may occur much later.
Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters

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Children Age 5 and Under

Children under five can react in a number of ways:

Facial expressions of fear 

Clinging to parent or caregiver 

Crying or screaming 

Whimpering or trembling 

Moving aimlessly 

Becoming immobile 

Returning to behaviors common to being younger 

Thumb sucking 

Bedwetting 

Being afraid of the dark

Young children’s reactions are strongly 

influenced by parent reactions to the event.
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What Parents Can Do

Children Age 6 to 11

Children between six and 11 have a range 

of reactions. They may: 

Isolate themselves 

Become quiet around friends, family, and teachers 

Have nightmares or other sleep problems 

Become irritable or disruptive 

Have outbursts of anger 

Start fights 

Be unable to concentrate 

Refuse to go to school 

Complain of unfounded physical problems 

Develop unfounded fears 

Become depressed 

Become filled with guilt 

Feel numb emotionally 

Do poorly with school and homework. 
Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters

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Adolescents Age 12 to 17

Children between 12 and 17 have various reactions:

Flashbacks to the traumatic event (flashbacks are the 

mind reliving the event)

Avoiding reminders of the event 

Drug, alcohol, tobacco use and abuse 

Antisocial behavior i.e. disruptive, disrespectful, 

or destructive behavior

Physical complaints 

Nightmares or other sleep problems 

Isolation or confusion 

Depression 

Suicidal thoughts

Adolescents may feel guilty about the event. 

They may feel guilt for not preventing injury or 

deaths. They may also have thoughts of revenge. 
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What Parents Can Do

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More About Trauma and Stress

Some children will have prolonged problems after a traumatic event. 

These may include grief, depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress 

disorder (PTSD). Children may show a range of symptoms:

Re-experiencing the event 

Through play 

Through trauma-specific nightmares/ dreams 

In flashbacks and unwanted memories 

By distress over events that remind them of the trauma

Avoidance of reminders of the event 

Lack of responsiveness 

Lack of interest in things that used to interest them 

A sense of having “no future” 

Increased sleep disturbances 

Irritability 

Poor concentration 

Be easily startled 

Behavior from earlier life stages. 
Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters

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Children experience trauma differently. It is difficult to tell how many 

will develop mental health problems. Some trauma survivors get 

better with only good support. Others need counseling by a mental 

health professional. 

If, after a month in a safe environment 

Children are not able to perform normal routines 

New symptoms develop 

Then, contact a health professional.

Some people are more sensitive to trauma. 

Factors influencing how one may respond include: 

Being directly involved in the trauma, 

especially as a victim 

Severe and/or prolonged exposure to the event 

Personal history of prior trauma 

Family or personal history of mental illness and 

severe behavioral problems 

Lack of social support 

Lack of caring family and friends 

On-going life stressors such as moving to a new home, 

or new school, divorce, job change, financial troubles.
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What Parents Can Do

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Some symptoms may require immediate attention. 

Contact a mental health professional if these 

symptoms occur: 

Flashbacks 

Racing heart and sweating 

Being easily startled 

Being emotionally numb 

Being very sad or depressed 

Thoughts or actions to end life
Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters

Additional Resources

Individuals and organizations can obtain publications about stress and 

anxiety disorders, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD ), from 

NIMH. Call the toll-free information service at 1-866-615-6464 (toll-free) 

or 1-866-415-8051 (TTY toll-free). 

Information is also available online at 

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/anxiety/anxietymenu.cfm

The list below includes other government agencies that may have 

additional information on helping children and adolescents cope 

with violence and disasters:

Center for Mental Health Services

Emergency Services and Disaster Relief Branch 

5600 Fishers Lane, Room 17C-20 

Rockville, MD 20857 

Email: ken@mentalhealth.org

Web site: http://www.mentalhealth.org/cmhs/ 

emergencyservices/index.htm

US Dept of Education

400 Maryland Avenue, SW 

Washington, DC 20202 

Phone: 1-800-USA-LEARN 

TTY: 1-800-437-0833 

Email: customerservice@inet.ed.gov

Web site: https://www.ed.gov 
US Dept of Justice

950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW 

Washington, DC 20530-0001 

Email: AskDOJ@usdoj.gov

Web site: http://www.usdoj.gov

Federal Emergency Management Agency

(Information for children and adolescents) 

P.O. Box 2012 

Jessup, MD 20794-2012 

Phone: 1-800-480-2520 

Web site: http://www.fema.gov/kids

National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Phone: (802) 296-6300 

Email: ncptsd@ncptsd.org

Web site: http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/

National Child Traumatic Stress Network

905 W. Main Street 

Suite 25-B 

Durham, NC 27701 

Phone: (919) 682-1552 

Fax: (919) 667-9578 

Email: info@nctsn.org
u.s. Department of HealtH anD Human services

national institutes of Health

niH publication no. 07-3518

revised 2006