----

##  Loneliness in Young Children. ERIC Digest.                                   

Loneliness is a significant problem that can predispose young                   children to immediate and long-term negative consequences. However,             only recently have research and intervention in educational settings            focused on young children who are lonely. It is becoming                        increasingly clear that many young children understand the concept              of loneliness and report feeling lonely. For example, kindergarten              and first-grade children responded appropriately to a series of                 questions regarding what loneliness is ("being sad and alone"),                 where it comes from ("nobody to play with"), and what one might do              to overcome feelings of loneliness ("find a friend") (Cassidy &                 Asher, 1992). In a more recent study (Ladd, Kochenderfer, & Coleman,            1996), kindergarten children's loneliness in school was reliably                measured with a series of questions such as, "Are you lonely in                 school?"; "Is school a lonely place for you?"; and "Are you sad and             alone in school?" These studies suggest that young children's                   concepts of loneliness have meaning to them and are similar to those            shared by older children and adults. This Digest presents an                    overview of loneliness with suggestions for practitioners on how                they can apply the research in early childhood                                  settings. CONSEQUENCES OF LONELINESSChildren who feel lonely              often experience poor peer relationships and therefore express more             loneliness than peers with friends. They often feel excluded--a                 feeling that can be damaging to their self-esteem. In addition, they            may experience feelings of sadness, malaise, boredom, and                       alienation. Furthermore, early childhood experiences that contribute            to loneliness may predict loneliness during adulthood. Consequently,            lonely children may miss out on many opportunities to interact with             their peers and to learn important lifelong skills. Given the                   importance placed on the benefits of peer interactions and                      friendships to children's development, this potential lack of                   interaction raises many concerns for teachers who work with young               children. Peer relations matter to children, and lonely children                place as much importance on them as do other children (Ramsey,                  1991). CONTRIBUTING FACTORS OF LONELINESSSeveral factors                  contribute to feelings of loneliness in young children. Some that               occur outside of the school setting are conflict within the home;               moving to a new school or neighborhood; losing a friend; losing an              object, possession, or pet; experiencing the divorce of parents; or             experiencing the death of a pet or significant person. Equally                  important are factors that occur within the child's school setting,             such as being rejected by peers; lacking social skills and knowledge            of how to make friends; or possessing personal                                  characteristics (e.g., shyness, anxiety, and low self-esteem) that              contribute to difficulties in making friends. Kindergarten children             who are victimized by peers (e.g., picked on, or physically or                  verbally attacked or taunted) report higher levels of loneliness,               distress, and negative attitudes toward school than nonvictimized               children (Kochenderfer & Ladd, 1996). OBSERVING AND ASSESSING                 YOUNG CHILDRENParticipating in careful observation of children              is a necessary first step to gain insights into children's                      loneliness. While observing children, teachers can focus on the                 following, which may suggest signs of loneliness: Does the child                appear timid, anxious, unsure of himself or herself, or sad? Does               the child show a lack of interest in the surroundings? Does the                 child seem to be rejected by playmates? Does the child avoid other              children by choice? Does the child appear to lack social skills that            might prevent him or her from initiating or maintaining                         interactions? Does the child have the necessary social skills but is            reluctant to use them? Is the child victimized by peers? Does the               child's apparent loneliness seem to be a consistent pattern over                time, or is it a more recent phenomenon? In addition, because                   loneliness cannot always be observed in children (e.g., there are               children who appear to have friends but report feeling lonely),                 teachers can spend time talking individually with children. They                might ask children, "What does sad and lonely mean?"; "Are you sad              and lonely?"; or "What would make you happier?" (Cassidy & Asher,               1992; Ladd, Kochenderfer, & Coleman, 1996). 
When observing and                assessing children, it is important to be sensitive to and aware of             their developmental abilities and personal inclinations. For                    example, it has been suggested that young children who play alone               may be at increased risk for later problems, both socially and                  cognitively. Many preschool and kindergarten children, however,                 engage in nonsocial activities that are highly predictive of                    competence. Therefore, over time, teachers need to observe                      children's interactions with their peers, talk to children about                their feelings, and document their behaviors and responses to                   determine whether they are lonely or are happily and productively               self-engaged. INTERVENTION STRATEGIES AND                                     RECOMMENDATIONSAlthough research in support of specific                     practices assisting lonely children in the classroom is weak,                   teachers might consider several approaches that may be adapted to               individual children. Children who are aggressive report the greatest            degrees of loneliness and social dissatisfaction (Asher, Parkhurst,             Hymel, & Williams, 1990). Children are rejected for many reasons,               and teachers will need to assess the circumstances that seem to lead            to the rejection. Is the child acting aggressively toward others?               Does the child have difficulty entering ongoing play and adapting to            the situation? Does the child have difficulty communicating needs               and desires? Once the problem is identified, teachers can assist the            child in changing the situation. The teacher can point out the                  effects of the child's behavior on others, show the child how to                adapt to the ongoing play, or help the child to clearly communicate             feelings and desires. Children who are supported, nurtured, and                 cherished are less likely to be rejected and more likely to interact            positively with peers (Honig & Wittmer, 1996). 
Children who are               neglected or withdrawn also report feelings of loneliness, although             to a lesser extent than do aggressive-rejected children. Because                these children often lack social skills, they have difficulty                   interacting with their peers. These children may also be extremely              shy, inhibited, and anxious, and they may lack                                  self-confidence (Rubin, LeMare, & Lollis, 1990). If children lack               certain skills, the teacher can focus on giving feedback,                       suggestions, and ideas that the child can implement. Children who               possess adequate social skills but are reluctant to use them can be             given opportunities for doing so by being paired with younger                   children. This experience gives the older child an opportunity to               practice skills and boost self-confidence. 
Children who are                   victimized by others believe that school is an unsafe and                       threatening place and often express a dislike for school.                       Furthermore, these children report lingering feelings of loneliness             and a desire to avoid school even when victimization                            ceases (Kochenderfer & Ladd, 1996). These findings point to the                 importance of implementing immediate intervention strategies to                 reduce victimization. Teachers can provide firm but supportive                  suggestions to the aggressor. For example, teachers might guide and             assist children in developing the life skills they need, such as                respecting others and self, engaging in problem solving, working                together on skills and tasks that require cooperation, and                      expressing feelings and emotions in appropriate ways (Gartrell,                 1997). 
Teachers can think about how the curricula might be helpful            to a child who is feeling lonely. Some children may benefit by being            given opportunities to express their feelings of sadness or                     loneliness through manipulation, drawing, movement, music, or                   creative activities (Edwards, Gandini, & Forman, 1993). Arranging               the dramatic play area with props may help some children act out or             express their feelings and feel a sense of control. Use of                      crisis-oriented books with children, referred to as bibliotherapy,              may assist a child in coping with a personal crisis. Sharing                    carefully selected literature with children may assist in                       facilitating emotional health. Children who are able to express and             articulate their concerns may want to talk about their                          unhappiness. 
Developing close relationships with children and                 communicating with their primary caregivers can give teachers                   valuable insights and guidance. When teachers become aware of                   children who are experiencing loneliness caused by a family                     situation, they can lend their support in a variety of ways.                    Spending extra time listening can be reassuring and helpful to some             children. Suggesting to a parent the possibility of inviting a peer             over to the child's home may be a good idea and may help the child              to form a friendship. In addition, teachers can ask parents for                 their recommendations about what might make the child feel more                 comfortable at school, and they can share relevant resources with               parents, such as literature or information on parent discussion                 groups. CONCLUSIONThe issues of loneliness were once                      considered relevant only to adolescents and adults. Research                    suggests that this notion is misguided and that a small but                     significant portion of young children do in fact experience feelings            of loneliness (Asher, Parkhurst, Hymel, & Williams, 1990). As a                 result, the immediate and long-term negative consequences associated            with loneliness in children are becoming apparent, and the need to              observe children and to develop and implement intervention                      strategies is becoming critical. When teachers take time to focus on            individual needs of children, build relationships, and assist them              with their needs, children thrive (Kontos & Wilcox-Herzog,                      1997). REFERENCESAsher, S. R., Parkhurst, J. T., Hymel, S., &             Williams, G. A.(1990). Peer rejection and loneliness in childhood.              In S. R. Asher & J. D. Coie (Eds.), PEER REJECTION IN CHILDHOOD(pp.             253-273). New York: Cambridge University Press. 
Cassidy, J., &                Asher, S. R. (1992). Loneliness and peer relations in young                     children. CHILD DEVELOPMENT, 63(2), 350-365. EJ 443 494. 
Edwards,             C., Gandini, L., & Forman, G. (1993). THE HUNDRED LANGUAGES OF                  CHILDREN. Norwood, NJ: Ablex. ED 355 034. 
Gartrell, D. (1997).                Beyond discipline to guidance. YOUNG CHILDREN, 52(6), 34-42. EJ 550             998. 
Honig, A. S., & Wittmer, D. S. (1996). Helping children                  become more prosocial: Ideas for classrooms, families, schools, and             communities. YOUNG CHILDREN, 51(2), 62-70. EJ 516                               730. 
Kochenderfer, B. J., & Ladd, G. W. (1996). Peer                          victimization: Manifestations and relations to school adjustment in             kindergarten. JOURNAL OF SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGY, 34(3), 267-283. EJ 537              306. 
Kontos, S., & Wilcox-Herzog, A. (1997). Teachers'                        interactions with children: Why are they so important? YOUNG                    CHILDREN, 52(2), 4-13. EJ 538 100. 
Ladd, G. W., Kochenderfer, B.              J., & Coleman, C. C. (1996). Friendship quality as a predictor of               young children's early school adjustment. CHILD DEVELOPMENT, 67(3),             1103-1118. EJ 528 230. 
Ramsey, P. G. (1991). MAKING FRIENDS IN                SCHOOL. New York: Teachers College Press. 
Rubin, K. H., LeMare, L.            J., & Lollis, S. (1990). Social withdrawal in childhood:                        Developmental pathways to peer rejection. In S. R. Asher & J. D.                Coie (Eds.), PEER REJECTION IN CHILDHOOD (pp. 217-249). New York:               Cambridge University Press. 
----- 
This publication was funded by            the Office of Educational Research and Improvement, U.S. Department             of Education, under contract no. DERR93002007. The opinions                     expressed in this report do not necessarily reflect the positions or            policies of OERI. ERIC Digests are in the public domain and may be              freely reproduced.                                                           **Title:** Loneliness in Young Children. ERIC Digest.                                   **Document Type:** Information Analyses---ERIC Information Analysis Products (IAPs) (071); Information Analyses---ERIC Digests (Selected) in Full Text (073); **Target Audience:** Practitioners                                                                **Descriptors:** Classroom Techniques, Early Childhood Education, Emotional Problems,            Friendship, Interpersonal Competence, Interpersonal Relationship,               Intervention,  Loneliness, Observation, Peer Acceptance,  Peer                  Relationship,  Rejection (Psychology), Social Development, Social               Isolation,  Teacher Role,  Young Children                                    **Identifiers:** ERIC Digests, Social Skills Training                                         
###
[Return to ERIC Digest Search Page]