THE CRISIS OF CONNECTION 

FOR ADOLESCENT BOYS 

with Niobe Way, EdD 

■ Discussion Guide for Professionals

This discussion guide is designed for professionals who are interested in learning more 

about the crisis of connection, its impact on the health and well-being of adolescent boys, 

and the implications for their work with teens. 

After conducting hundreds of interviews focused on friendships with black, Latino, white, 

and Asian American adolescent boys over the past 25 years, NYU Professor of 

Developmental Psychology Niobe Way concludes that boys are experiencing a “crisis of 

connection.” Boys report feeling pressure to “man up” and fear that having or even 

expressing their desires for close male friendships will make them look “girly” or “gay.” Boys, 

in early and middle adolescence, often have intimate male friendships and explicitly link 

these relationships to their mental health. Yet, by late adolescence, boys speak about losing 

these close male friendships and reveal feelings of loneliness and isolation. Given the 

research that links friendships with mental and physical health and well-being, Way’s 

research has profound implications for adults who work with adolescents. Way shows us the 

dangers of assuming that boys don’t want or need close male friendships and urges us to 

foster the positive friendships of adolescent boys to help them thrive. 

The guide can be used in a variety of settings including staff meetings, conference sessions, 

or trainings. 

Here are a few planning tips: 

● Plan for participants to view Dr. Way’s video segments individually or as a group. The

video is on YouTube and is 30 minutes in length (divided into shorter segments that

can be watched individually or together).

● Decide who will facilitate the conversation.

● Allow approximately 30 minutes to discuss the questions. If the group is larger than

10 people, consider breaking into small groups.

● Ask the facilitator to walk through the resource list with the group (and, if possible, to

review the resources themselves before the session)
THE CRISIS OF CONNECTION FOR ADOLESCENT BOYS 

Discussion Guide for Professionals 2 

■ Discussion Questions

1. Dr. Way highlighted harmful stereotypes about boys and close friendships (e.g., that

they don’t want or need such relationships). Do you think these stereotypes have an

impact on the adolescents in your program? How so?

2. Dr. Way shared quotes from teenage boys she interviewed for her research. What

was most striking to you about how the boys talked about their friendships? Have you

heard similar things in your work with boys and young men?

3. Dr. Way explained the often over-looked connection between friendships and health.

How did this change the way you think about supporting adolescents, their

relationships and their health?

4. Dr. Way suggested ways in which adults could act upon her research. How can

professionals who work with adolescents foster stronger connections for teenage boys?

How will this information change the way you interact with teens on a daily basis?

5. What are three take-aways from Dr. Way’s presentation that you will share with coworkers and colleagues?

■ Additional Resources

● Relevant books by Niobe Way, EdD:

► Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection:

http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674072428

► Everyday Courage: The Lives and Stories of Urban Teenagers:

http://nyupress.org/books/9780814793398/

► Adolescent Boys: Exploring Diverse Cultures of Boyhood:

http://nyupress.org/books/9780814793855/

● Project for the Advancement of Our Common Humanity – www.pach.org

● The Social Brain and Its Superpowers - Matthew Lieberman, PhD at TEDxStLouis. Available

at http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/The-Social-Brain-And-Its-Superp

● "It’s hard to leave everything you know." High school juniors Akiva Johnson and Henry

Jimenez talk about the friendship they developed while taking part in the StoryCorpsU

educational program. Available at https://storycorps.org/listen/akiva-johnson-and-henryjimene-151218/

● Casteix, J. (2016, July 25) Boys don't cry? Sure they do, and we need to embrace it. Orange

County Register. Available at http://www.ocregister.com/articles/boys-723579-needfeelings.html