Tip Sheet for Prison/Jail Staff and Volunteers:

Supporting Children Who Have an Incarcerated Parent

www.YOUTH.gov/COIP

Prison and jail staff and volunteers play an important role in facilitating visits and helping make visits a positive experience 

for children with incarcerated parents. Visits from family members can help promote strong family ties and have been 

shown to decrease recidivism.1 For children, visits are an important way to maintain the relationship with their incarcerated 

parent, which can have important implications on a child’s behavior and mental health.2 Staff and volunteers are the first 

and last individuals that children see in the facility; their support of family visits can set an important tone that parent-child 

relationships are valued and important.

sad about the separation when the visit is over.8 Prison staff 

and volunteers are in a unique position to help ease these 

feelings and prevent any further traumatization by taking 

some quick steps to set a positive tone for children visiting 

their parents.

Before the Visit

• Children often have to travel long distances to see their 

parents and can understandably be very disappointed 

if they are turned away. To help ensure the maximum 

number of children are able to visit, it is helpful if staff 

make sure all caregivers bringing children to visit are 

informed about visitation rules, such as the dress code 

and the maximum number of children allowed to visit. It 

is best to have this information conveyed to visitors prior 

to arriving at the facility, either on a facility website, in an 

email, or over the phone. If incarcerated parents are also 

informed of the rules, they can share this information with 

visitors before they arrive. Clearly communicating the rules 

— and applying them consistently — will reduce visitors’ 

and incarcerated parents’ confusion and frustration. 

• Visitors who are coming for the first time or are not able 

to visit very often are usually unfamiliar with the visiting 

process and can feel very anxious not knowing what will 

happen next. Having a staff member or volunteer calmly 

explain the steps (e.g. “You will wait here and then you 

will go through additional security.”) to caregivers and 

children can decrease the anxiety they may be feeling 

about the process.

• Security procedures can be intimidating for children. 

Make these spaces as friendly as possible by clearly 

explaining the procedures and having procedures posted. 

Offering children a small reward, such as a sticker or even 

a high-five for successfully going through security, can 

help set the stage for a positive visit and help the child 

see staff and volunteers as approachable. 

1

Common Toxic Stress of Children 

of Incarcerated Parents 

Many children with incarcerated parents have had multiple 

adverse experiences in their lifetime, which may or may not 

be related to their parent’s incarceration. For example, when 

looking at the children of incarcerated parents in Arkansas, 

it was reported that 40 percent of children had been 

present at the time of their parent’s arrest and 27 percent of 

arrests were instances where a weapon was drawn.3 These 

experiences can be very traumatic for children and may 

cause them to feel uncomfortable around law enforcement.

In addition, children with incarcerated parents may be 

struggling with other challenging experiences, such 

as financial hardship resulting from a primary provider 

becoming incarcerated4 and families having to pay for 

expensive legal fees.5 Many have been exposed to violence 

in their homes and in their communities6 and have lived 

with a parent with a mental illness or history of substance 

abuse.7

Children with incarcerated parents may also experience 

social and institutional stigma. They may feel shame or 

embarrassment about their parent’s incarceration and worry 

about being judged for what their parents did. In addition to 

trauma they might be feeling lonely, isolated, scared, angry, 

or depressed, and they might be navigating difficult family 

circumstances, sometimes with very little support.

How Can Prison Staff and Volunteers Help 

to Create a Positive Environment for Family 

Visitations? 

A child’s visits with an incarcerated parent can be a positive 

experience and can help to build or maintain a positive 

parent-child relationship. However, visits can also be 

stressful for children and may cause them to feel afraid or 
• Children can also be made to feel more comfortable 

during what can be a stressful time by having staff and 

volunteers acknowledge them, smile, and talk to them 

in a positive tone. Acknowledging something positive 

about the child (e.g., “I really like your hair” or “You are 

doing a great job waiting!”) can help set a welcoming 

tone.

• Long wait times can cause children to become irritable, 

which can cause caregivers to become stressed. They 

may have a hard time sitting still or controlling their 

bodies. Whenever possible, decreasing the time a child 

has to wait before visiting their parent and making the 

waiting room child-friendly by having books or other 

activities available may help reduce children’s anxiety, 

thereby reducing caregivers’ stress.

During the Visit

• Non-contact visits can be stressful for children because 

they can see, but not touch their parent, which is 

not typically the way parents and children interact 

(especially for young children). Allowing for as much 

contact as possible can ease this stress and can be 

an important way for children to feel connected to their 

parents.

• Children may be easily distracted by other visitors and 

in some cases the behavior or language of other visitors 

may not be appropriate for children. Give family visitors 

as much privacy as possible, without compromising 

safety and security.

• Children may be intimidated very easily in this setting, 

especially if they have had negative interactions with 

police officers in the past. If a child breaks a rule during 

a visit, use a calm voice and age-appropriate language 

to help the child understand the rule.

• Visits are often time-limited. Help prepare children and 

caregivers for the end of the visit by making sure they 

know how long the visits are and reminding them a few 

minutes before the visit ends. This will provide children 

with an opportunity to say goodbye to their parent in a 

meaningful way.

2

1 Shanahan, R. & Villalobos Agudelo, S. (2012). The Family and Recidivism. American 

Jails, pp 17-24.

2 The Federal Interagency Working Group for Children of Incarcerated Parents. (2013). 

Promoting Social and Emotional Well-Being for Children of Incarcerated Parents.

3 Harm, N. J. & Phillips, S. D. (1998). Helping children cope with the trauma of parental 

arrest. Interdisciplinary Report on At Risk Children and Families, 1, pp 35-36.

4 La Vigne, N., et al. (2008). Broken Bonds: Understanding and Addressing the Needs of 

Children with Incarcerated Parents. The Urban Institute. 

5 Hairston, C. F. (2003.) Prisoners and Their Families: parenting issues during 

incarceration. Prisoners Once Removed, pp 259-279.

6 Uchida, C. D., Swatt, M., & Solomon, S. E. (2012). Exposure to violence among 

children of inmates: a research agenda. Silver Spring, MD: Justice & Security 

Strategies.

7 Mumola, C. J. (2000). Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Reports: Parents in prison 

and their children. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice 

Programs.

8 Arditti, J. A. (2003). Locked doors and glass walls: Family visiting at a local jail. 

Journal of Loss and Trauma, 8, pp 115-138.

RELATED RESOURCES FOR 

FURTHER READING

Children of Incarcerated Parents. Children of Incarcerated Parents 

Federal Website.

http://www.youth.gov/coip 

From Prison to Home: The Effect of Incarceration and Reentry on 

Children, Families, and Communities. U.S. Department of Health 

and Human Services. Office of the Assistant Secretary for 

Planning and Evaluation. 

https://aspe.hhs.gov/basic-report/effects-parental-incarcerationyoung-children

Supporting Children and Families of Prisoners. U.S. Department of 

Health and Human Services. Children’s Bureau.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/supporting/support-services/

prisoners/

Video Visiting in Corrections: Benefits, Limitations, and Implementation 

Considerations. National Institute of Corrections.

http://nicic.gov/library/029609