Tip Sheet for Youth:

Youth Supporting Fellow Youth Who Have an Incarcerated Parent

www.YOUTH.gov/COIP

This tip sheet was written BY youth who have or have had incarcerated parents FOR youth who have incarcerated parents. 

The purpose is to provide words of support and encouragement.

In June 2016, the federal government hosted a listening session with youth from across the country who have or have had 

an incarcerated parent. The listening session brought together 19 youth, ages 15 to 23, with a diverse range of experiences 

to discuss the challenges they had during their parent's incarceration and their ideas for how the government could better 

support them and their families. This tip sheet is a product of that listening session.

• We have different experiences even from each other:

○Living arrangements before the incarceration

○Relationship status with our parent before the 

incarceration

○Being told the truth or lies about the 

incarceration

○Involvement with child welfare during the 

incarceration

○Changes in financial stability during the 

incarceration

• We are not different from other youth in that we are 

young people, too, with the same needs and wants:

○To be loved

○To have support

○To be successful

○To have friends

• We do not have control over the situation, which is 

difficult:

○ We don’t know what to expect with the 

incarceration process or when visiting our 

parent in a facility

○ We don’t know with any certainty when we will 

be able to talk to or see our parent again

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You are not alone. Here are some 

things many of us experience: 

• We rely on our own inner strength

• We often grow up too soon taking on responsibilities:

○Taking care of younger siblings

○ Getting jobs to help with family finances

○ Obtaining services such as physical and mental 

healthcare

○Navigating systems and avoiding negative 

attention from Child Welfare or Human Services 

who might take us or our siblings away

• We love our parents, even though they have made 

mistakes. We miss them during:

○Big events like having the parent there for 

holidays and graduation

○Small activities like having the parent there to help 

with homework and going to our sporting event

○Everyday opportunities for having parent as a 

role model

• We are misjudged by many and negatively judged 

because of our parent(s) or our parent’s actions

• We are sometimes told we will turn out like our 

parent(s) and we are constantly fighting against and 

running from that judgement

• We have different experiences than other youth 

whose parent is absent for another reason like 

divorce:

○Not being able to pick up the phone and talk to 

our parent any time we want

○Not being able to hug our parent during a visit

○Being judged differently and feeling shame and 

stigma because of those judgments

“We are not a statistic!"

-female, 22, Little Rock, AR
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•Know there are opportunities to be an advocate

○Channel your emotions (which might include 

anger and pain) into making a positive change 

through advocacy

○ Work with organizations to suggest that they 

include youth with incarcerated parents on 

planning committees and boards

○Develop well thought-out messages when 

requesting change in a policy or procedure that 

affects you

○Be part of efforts to create and expand visiting 

and mentoring programs

○Advocate for financial backing and funding for 

effective programs

“We are ready to hear about 

solutions; not just discuss the 

problems."

-male, 17, San Francisco, CA

Advice for Youth from Youth who have 

or have had an incarcerated parent: 

•Seek out resource lists on websites from 

government or other trusted organizations 

•Reach out for help if you need it

○Look to a trusted adult such as youth group 

leader, school counselor, or mentor for help

○Advocate for help that is relevant to your 

situation – let them know what you need

○Ask for help finding a counselor who is 

experienced with issues of incarceration

•Look for programs that have specific services for 

youth with an incarcerated parent and are familiar 

with your challenges and needs

○Look for programs that offer transportation to 

help you visit your parent

○Find after-school programs, weekend 

activities, mentoring, or other programs

•Find ways to cope with the challenges of having an 

incarcerated parent

○ Get involved with activities like sports or 

athletics, community service volunteering, etc.

○Find ways to express yourself like writing, art, 

music, design, video/filmmaking, etc.

•Know that you are not alone — 2.7 million youth 

have an incarcerated parent

○Find a support group to be able to talk with 

others going through the same thing 

“Even though the anger of being 

a child with an incarcerated 

parent is painful, we have 

the power to give back to 

the communities affected by 

this issue that shaped us... 

[Use] your story to shape the 

narrative... [Use] your story 

as a powerful tool in affecting 

change."

-female, 23, Austin, TX