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## Other Youth Topics

## Breadcrumb

            -  Youth Topics 
            -  Dating Violence Prevention 
            -           Characteristics of Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships      

# Characteristics of Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships

Respect for both oneself and others is a key characteristic of healthy relationships. In contrast, in unhealthy relationships, one partner tries to exert control and power over the other physically, sexually, and/or emotionally.

## **Healthy Relationships**

Healthy relationships share certain characteristics that teens should be taught to expect. They include:
                        - Mutual respect.  Respect means that each person values who the other is and understands the other person’s boundaries.
                        - Trust.  Partners should place trust in each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.
                        - Honesty.  Honesty builds trust and strengthens the relationship.
                        - Compromise.  In a dating relationship, each partner does not always get his or her way. Each should acknowledge different points of view and be willing to give and take.
                        - Individuality.  Neither partner should have to compromise who he/she is, and his/her identity should not be based on a partner’s. Each should continue seeing his or her friends and doing the things he/she loves. Each should be supportive of his/her partner wanting to pursue new hobbies or make new friends.
                        - Good communication.  Each partner should speak honestly and openly to avoid miscommunication. If one person needs to sort out his or her feelings first, the other partner should respect those wishes and wait until he or she is ready to talk.
                        - Anger control.  We all get angry, but how we express it can affect our relationships with others. Anger can be handled in healthy ways such as taking a deep breath, counting to ten, or talking it out.
                        - Fighting fair.  Everyone argues at some point, but those who are fair, stick to the subject, and avoid insults are more likely to come up with a possible solution. Partners should take a short break away from each other if the discussion gets too heated.
                        - Problem solving.  Dating partners can learn to solve problems and identify new solutions by breaking a problem into small parts or by talking through the situation.
                        - Understanding.  Each partner should take time to understand what the other might be feeling.
                        - Self-confidence.  When dating partners have confidence in themselves, it can help their relationships with others. It shows that they are calm and comfortable enough to allow others to express their opinions without forcing their own opinions on them.
                        - Being a role model.  By embodying what respect means, partners can inspire each other, friends, and family to also behave in a respectful way.
                        - Healthy sexual relationship.  Dating partners engage in a sexual relationship that both are comfortable with, and neither partner feels pressured or forced to engage in sexual activity that is outside his or her comfort zone or without consent.

## **Unhealthy Relationships**

Unhealthy relationships are marked by characteristics such as disrespect and control. It is important for youth to be able to recognize signs of unhealthy relationships before they escalate. Some characteristics of unhealthy relationships include:
                        - Control.  One dating partner makes all the decisions and tells the other what to do, what to wear, or who to spend time with. He or she is unreasonably jealous, and/or tries to isolate the other partner from his or her friends and family.
                        - Hostility.  One dating partner picks a fight with or antagonizes the other dating partner. This may lead to one dating partner changing his or her behavior in order to avoid upsetting the other.
                        - Dishonesty.  One dating partner lies to or keeps information from the other. One dating partner steals from the other.
                        - Disrespect.  One dating partner makes fun of the opinions and interests of the other partner or destroys something that belongs to the partner.
                        - Dependence.  One dating partner feels that he or she “cannot live without” the other. He or she may threaten to do something drastic if the relationship ends.
                        - Intimidation.  One dating partner tries to control aspects of the other's life by making the other partner fearful or timid. One dating partner may attempt to keep his or her partner from friends and family or threaten violence or a break-up.
                        - Physical violence.  One partner uses force to get his or her way (such as hitting, slapping, grabbing, or shoving).
                        - Sexual violence.  One dating partner pressures or forces the other into sexual activity against his or her will or without consent. 1

It is important to educate youth about the value of respect and the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships before they start to date. Youth may not be equipped with the necessary skills to develop and maintain healthy relationships, and may not know how to break up in an appropriate way when necessary. Maintaining open lines of communication may help them form healthy relationships and recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships, thus preventing the violence before it starts.

## Footnote

1 Adapted from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. (2005). *Choose respect community action kit: Helping preteens and teens build healthy relationships*. Retrieved from http://www.aldine.k12.tx.us/cms/file_process/download.cfm?docID=BED9BF514B2EAD07 (PDF, 60 pages)

## Other Resources on this Topic

### Agencies 

                          - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
                          - National Institute of Justice
                          - Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention
                          - Office of Violence Against Women

### Announcements 

                          - 2022 National Crime Victims’ Service Awards Recipients Announced
                          - Domestic Violence Awareness Month
                          - June is Internet Safety Month
                          - Justice Department Announces $21.72 Million to Reduce Sexual and Domestic Violence on Campus, Support Children and Youth, and Engage Men and Boys as Allies
                          - National Adolescent Health Month Resources
                          - Recent Event: New Research Awards Aim to Prevent Youth Violence, Sexual Violence, and Child Abuse and Neglect
                          - Report: Dating Violence Reported by High School Students in 2017
                          - Resource: Campus Safety Special Feature
                          - Resource: Considering Family Context as an Important Element in the Prevention and Intervention of the Development of Teen Dating Violence
                          - Resource: Fact Sheet on Stalking Among College Students
                          - Resource: Healthy Native Youth Stand-Alone Lessons
                          - Resource: Intersection of Human Trafficking, Youth Homelessness, Intimate Partner Violence, and Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Website
                          - Resource: Let's Talk Podcast - The Offical National Runaway Safeline Podcast
                          - Resource: Literature Review on Teen Dating Violence
                          - Resource: NCFY
                          - Resource: Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across the Lifespan: A Technical Package of Programs, Policies, and Practices
                          - Resource: Runaway & Homeless Youth and Relationship Violence Toolkit
                          - Resource: Talking is Power: Tools for Parents
                          - Resource: Teen Dating Violence
                          - Resource: Teen Dating Violence Literature Review
                          - Resource: Tip Sheets on Everyday Parenting Topics
                          - Resource: Tips for Parents and Caregivers of Teens
                          - Resource: Trends in Youth Arrests for Violent Crimes
                          - Resource: What Has Longitudinal Research on Teen Dating Violence Taught Us?
                          - Resource: Youth Advisory Councils
                          - Youth Voices Have Moved to YE4C

### Data Sources 

                          - 2011-2021 YRBS Data Summary and Trends Report
                          - Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS)

### Departments 

                          - U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

### Feature Articles 

                          - Dating Matters: Understanding Teen Dating Violence Prevention
                          - February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month
                          - Just Launched! Redesigned YE4C
                          - Justice Department Research Shows That School-Level Interventions Reduce Dating Violence by up to 50 Percent
                          - National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month
                          - Promoting Positive Adolescent Health Behaviors and Outcomes: Thriving in the 21st Century
                          - Teen Dating Relationships: Opportunities for Youth to Define What's Healthy and Unhealthy
                          - Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month
                          - Teen Dating Violence Prevention
                          - The Halls Web Series

### Hotlines 

                          - National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline

### Programs 

                          - Family and Youth Services Bureau (FYSB)
                          - Preventing Teen Dating Violence and Youth Violence Program
                          - Resource: DELTA FOCUS (Domestic Violence Prevention Enhancements and Leadership Through Alliances, Focusing on Outcomes for Communities United with States) Program

### Publications 

                          - Bullying, Sexual, and Dating Violence Trajectories From Early to Late Adolescence
                          - Cultivating Evaluation Capacity: A Guide for Programs Addressing Sexual and Domestic Violence
                          - Get Smart, Get Help, Get Safe
                          - How Can Youth Workers Recognize Teen Dating Abuse?
                          - Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2010
                          - New Report on Prevalence of Teen Dating Violence
                          - Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Violence, Stalking, and Intimate Partner Violence Victimization — National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, United States, 2011
                          - Q&A: The CDC Takes a Comprehensive Approach to Teen Dating Violence Prevention
                          - Special Feature: Teen Dating Violence
                          - Technology, Teen Dating Violence and Abuse, and Bullying
                          - Teen Dating Violence: How Peers Can Affect Risk & Protective Factors
                          - What Works to Prevent Teen Dating Violence?

### Resources 

                          - Report: Family and Youth Services Bureau Highlights in 2014 & 2015
                          - Report: Impact of Domestic Violence Policies and Practices on Girls and Young Women
                          - Report: National Survey of Teen Relationships and Intimate Violence
                          - Report: Predicting Intimate Partner Violence for At-Risk Young Adults and Their Romantic Partners
                          - Research Roundup: What Do We Know About Hispanic Youth and Teen Dating Violence?
                          - Resource: Considering Family Context as an Important Element in the Prevention and Intervention of the Development of Teen Dating Violence
                          - Resource: Dating Matters Interactive Guide on Informing Policy
                          - Resource: Family-Based Approaches to Preventing Teen Dating Violence Research
                          - Resource: Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across the Lifespan: A Technical Package of Programs, Policies, and Practices
                          - Share with Youth: StrongHearts Native Helpline

### Technical Assistance 

                          - Striving to Reduce Youth Violence Everywhere

### Tools & Guides 

                          - 3 Bold Steps for School Community Change
                          - Model Programs Guide
                          - Our Revolution
                          - Problem-Oriented Guides for Police
                          - Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month Resources
                          - Updated Training: DATING MATTERS® — Understanding Teen Dating Violence Prevention

### Videos & Podcasts 

                          - 1 is 2 Many PSA
                          - 1 is 2 Many: Dating Violence PSA
                          - The Halls: Web Series

### Websites 

                          - Girls Health
                          - Teen Dating Violence
                          - Teen Dating Violence and Sexual Assault in Schools: Resources and a Call to Action

### Youth Topics 

                          - Dating Violence Prevention

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Youth who receive special education services under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA 2004) and especially young adults of transition age, should be involved in planning for life after high school as early as possible and no later than age 16. Transition services should stem from the individual youth’s needs and strengths, ensuring that planning takes into account his or her interests, preferences, and desires for the future.

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Youth Voices Have Moved to YE4C

### Data Sources

2011-2021 YRBS Data Summary and Trends Report

2011-2021 YRBS Data Summary and Trends Report

2011-2021 YRBS Data Summary and Trends Report

### Feature Articles

Promoting Positive Adolescent Health Behaviors and Outcomes: Thriving in the 21st Century

Just Launched! Redesigned YE4C

Justice Department Research Shows That School-Level Interventions Reduce Dating Violence by up to 50 Percent

### Publications

What Works to Prevent Teen Dating Violence?

Teen Dating Violence: How Peers Can Affect Risk & Protective Factors

Technology, Teen Dating Violence and Abuse, and Bullying

### Resources

Report: Predicting Intimate Partner Violence for At-Risk Young Adults and Their Romantic Partners

Resource: Considering Family Context as an Important Element in the Prevention and Intervention of the Development of Teen Dating Violence

Resource: Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across the Lifespan: A Technical Package of Programs, Policies, and Practices

### Youth Topics

Dating Violence Prevention